We've all uttered these iconic movie insults - or thought about it - at one point or another. Welcome to WatchMojo, and today we’re counting down our picks for the most iconic movie insults to use in everyday situations.
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00:00At no point in your rambling incoherent response were you even close to anything
00:07that could be considered a rational thought. Welcome to WatchMojo, and today we're counting
00:12down our picks for the most iconic movie insults to use in everyday situations.
00:18That may be the first time in my life a man has dared insult me. It won't be the last.
00:2420. You're a Virgin Who Can't Drive
00:29Clueless. Want to cut to the heart of someone? Call them a virgin and make fun of their lack
00:34of driving habits. It's as easy as that. It certainly cuts to the heart of poor Cher
00:40as Ty preys on her deepest insecurities and vulnerabilities.
00:46Brittany Murphy's delivery of the line is brilliantly scathing,
00:50and Cher's tear-filled reaction speaks values. Way harsh, indeed. The line has been immortalized in
00:57pop culture, appearing on various pieces of merchandise and being wildly shared on social
01:02media in the form of gifs and memes. 19. There's Nothing More Pathetic
01:14Than An Aging Hipster Austin Powers, International Man of Mystery
01:19If there's one thing that many people are insecure about, it's their age. It's a touchy subject and,
01:25man, does Dr. Evil take full advantage of it. His target is Austin Powers, a man perpetually
01:41stuck in the late 1960s. Granted, he was frozen in time, so he has an excuse. But his fashion
01:48sensibilities and casual misogyny are way outdated come the 90s, and Dr. Evil attacks like a blood
01:55thirsty shark. His words clearly cut deep, as Austin, an otherwise fun-loving and shoulder-
02:07shrugging kind of guy, takes great offense. Who doesn't wish to use this when the situation arises?
02:1518. Keep The Change, You Filthy Animal, Home Alone
02:19Okay, no, we don't actually say this while we're tipping someone, and we hope you don't either.
02:25But come on, who amongst us hasn't said that to a friend or family member?
02:40Especially around the holidays, when home alone is fresh in mind? The famous insult comes via
02:45Johnny, the fictional gangster in the violent movie that Kevin watches. It's not only Johnny's
02:53signature quip, but one of the most iconic lines in the entire movie. It's part of the
02:58cultural lexicon, and it was even made into a song by American rock band, All Time Low.
03:0517. That's Because It's On You, Dear, Sleeping Beauty
03:10You hear Sleeping Beauty, you expect the zinger to come from Maleficent.
03:14While she certainly has a few good ones in her repertoire, this one comes courtesy of Flora,
03:19the leader of the Three Good Fairies.
03:32Meriwether tries on Aurora's dress in progress, but isn't happy with the results,
03:37claiming that it looks awful. Flora's response is so blazing hot that
03:42someone could call the fire department. Seriously,
03:44the casual meanness of this remark is just extraordinary.
03:5016. You Sit On A Throne Of Lies, Elf
04:03Everyone has thrown out this iconic line at least once in their lives.
04:06Buddy is expecting the real Santa to appear at Gimbal's,
04:10but he's disappointed to find that it's just some random guy.
04:14Instead of letting the matter go, or realizing that he has been hired to impersonate Santa,
04:23he confronts the man in front of all the children. The result is movie history,
04:28with Will Ferrell delivering one brilliant insult after another.
04:32This is the best one, of course, a remark that will be repeated every
04:35Christmas season from now until the end of time.
04:4315. If My Dog Was As Ugly As You, I'd Shave His Butt And Tell Him To Walk Backwards,
04:51The Sandlot The You're So Ugly joke is ancient,
04:55with countless iterations and creative punchlines. One of the best we've heard comes via The Sandlot,
05:01a coming-of-age comedy about kids finding friendship through baseball.
05:14The Sandlot kids play a Little League team, and the insults are tossed around faster than the
05:22baseball. Most of the good ones come via Hamilton Porter, who confronts the batterers from his
05:27position as catcher. He's a master at this kind of thing, with the magnificent dog insult standing
05:33out from the pack. It's the type of
05:43insult you hope to craft yourself one day. 14. If I Wanted A Joke, I'd Follow You Into The John
05:50And Watch You Take A Leak, Planes, Trains, And Automobiles
05:55A lot of men are insecure about one thing. We'll give you three guesses as to what.
06:00Steve Martin is a master of the off-handed insult, with most of his characters being
06:05sarcastic jerks. One of the meanest is Neil Page, the grumpy executive from Planes,
06:21Trains, And Automobiles. And while most of his scathing retort is aimed squarely at Del Griffith,
06:26his target this time is a cab dispatcher who's just trying to help. The insult wipes the smile
06:32off the cabbie's face, and it's enough to get Neil a nice knuckle sandwich. It's a good insult,
06:48we'll grant him, but that punch was a long time coming. 13. If I Gave You Any Thought, I Probably
06:56Would, Casablanca There's a very famous scene from Mad Men in which Don Draper tells Ginsburg
07:02that he never thinks about him. It's a great sequence, but what some people may not realize
07:07is that it's an iteration of a comeback that came seven decades earlier. It's delivered by the
07:19legendary Rick Blaine, the protagonist of Casablanca. Ugarte asks Rick if he despises him,
07:26to which Rick volleys back one of the greatest insults in movie history. It's not only ice cold,
07:34but it's one of the greatest lines in a script full of bangers. 12. No, the definition of the
07:41word idiot which you bleeping are, kiss kiss bang bang. The look up X in a dictionary joke is as old
07:48as, well, dictionaries probably, but leave it to Shane Black to subvert the formula and deliver
07:54one of its greatest punchlines in the process. The line is just beyond brilliant, and it's
08:08delivered with impeccable comedic timing by Val Kilmer. It has certainly been repeated by fans
08:13of the movie, usually at the expense of a good friend who has done something particularly stupid.
08:25Even people who haven't seen the movie know this line through sheer cultural osmosis. It's
08:31just that good. 11. You are literally too stupid to insult.
08:37The Hangover Everyone loves sending a good insult to
08:41their silly friends, and this may be one of the very best. It's masterfully delivered by Ed Helms,
08:48as Stu is insulting the generally absent-minded Alan. Stu sarcastically remarks that he can't
08:59remember anything because of the roofies that Alan gave them. Alan doesn't quite get it and
09:03proclaims that memory loss is a side effect of roofie intake. It's then that the disbelieving
09:09Stu delivers his fantastic comeback, which is capped by Alan's simple and hilarious,
09:14thank you. We don't know what's funnier, the insult itself or Alan's response to it.
09:25To call you stupid would be an insult to stupid people, a fish called Wanda. John Cleese and
09:31Charles Crichton received an Oscar nomination for writing this comedy, and it's all thanks to this
09:36single line. Okay, not really, but we wouldn't be surprised if it played a big role.
09:50This insult has John Cleese written all over it, being very dry and portraying his trademark
09:56British wit. It's such a simple bit of trash talk, but sometimes the simplest things are the
10:01best things. And not only is it a great line, but Jamie Lee Curtis sells it with absolute
10:09conviction. Try as we might, we just can't recapture her passion when we say it.
10:19A major reason for School of Rock's success is its incredible cast of child actors,
10:25including Robert Tai as Lawrence, aka Mr. Cool. Lawrence is the quiet one in class,
10:31which only makes his insult cut that much deeper.
10:40Dewey tries getting the class angry enough to write a rock song, so he asks them to tell him
10:45off. What follows are pretty generic attacks, none of which seem to hurt. That is until Lawrence
10:51rocks Schneebly with a wounding remark from the back of the room. You couldn't step foot in a
11:032003 classroom without hearing this. While the entire film is obviously great, most people
11:16remember Full Metal Jacket for its first half, in which Gunnery Sergeant Hartman scares the boys
11:21into shape. Hartman is played by R. Lee Ermey, who was a real Marine Corps drill instructor in
11:35the 1960s. A good chunk of Hartman's dialogue was either written or improvised by Ermey,
11:41who obviously had tons of experience insulting recruits. His affronts are simply extraordinary,
11:47both wildly creative and superbly delivered. Most of them are directed at poor Leonard Lawrence,
12:06including this ingenious bit of humiliation. We don't know how the cast kept a straight face.
12:20There isn't a Star Wars fan who hasn't said this at least once in their lives. It's just too good
12:26to pass up. Princess Leia goes for Han's throat, unleashing one of the greatest bits of slander in
12:39movie history. It's a non-stop barrage of scorn, but of course, it all comes from the hearts,
12:45we think. The words themselves are amusing, but it's Carrie Fisher's performance that really
12:50drives the point home, each word more angrily pronounced than the last. Of course, Han takes
13:05it mostly in stride, only taking offense to the scruffy looking comment. What you've just said
13:12is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. Billy Madison. We've all seen that
13:18feel-good drama, where the protagonist makes an impassioned speech, impresses all in the crowd,
13:24and is met with enthusiastic cheers and a standing ovation. Well, this isn't that kind of movie.
13:40Billy is asked to explain how the Industrial Revolution changed the modern novel. He,
13:45not knowing anything about literature or the Industrial Revolution, gives a rambling response
13:50that doesn't make a lick of sense. He only gets a cheer by mentioning the school's football team,
13:55and the moderator unleashes one of the greatest takedowns we've ever heard. We're still quoting
14:07it to this day. Toy Story. Buzz Lightyear is a legendary character, spouting many classic lines
14:19and being voiced to perfection by Tim Allen. Writing and vocal talent combine in this splendid
14:32insult, which is aimed at Woody after he has his meltdown. As kids, this line didn't seem so funny
14:38and never really stood out. We preferred Woody's iconic, the wild arm gestures probably have
14:47something to do with that. But the older we get, the funnier this line becomes. And you better
14:52believe that we quote it more often than we probably should. Number four. I'll explain,
15:03and I'll use small words, so that you'll be sure to understand. The Princess Bride. As mean as it
15:09is to say, this quote is fantastic in the right context. It's also guaranteed to get a laugh,
15:15even if the target hasn't seen Princess Bride. To the death. No, to the pain.
15:23I don't think I'm quite familiar with that phrase. I'll explain, and I'll use small words,
15:28so that you'll be sure to understand. This cult classic is widely acclaimed for its script,
15:32and many of its lines have become famous in the general pop culture lexicon.
15:37It was even named the 84th best screenplay of all time by the Writers Guild of America,
15:42which may have been aided by its sheer meme worthiness. It's hard for specific quotes to
15:59stand out when seemingly every line is a winner. But this fun bit of trash talk manages to do it.
16:05Number three. You know, morons. Blazing Saddles. Comedies don't get more acclaimed than Blazing
16:12Saddles. It's in the National Film Registry, it was nominated for three Oscars, and it was
16:17eventually named the sixth funniest movie of all time by the American Film Institute.
16:30The screenplay is particularly noteworthy, being written by icons like Mel Brooks and
16:34Richard Pryor. Gene Wilder delivers one of the best jibes in movie history, disparaging the
16:40common folk of the American frontier. And we have to say, it's a perfect insult to use when
16:46the situation calls for it. Cleavon Little certainly thought it was funny, judging by
17:02that genuine laugh. Number two. Take Your Stinking Paws Off Me, You Damn Dirty Ape.
17:08Planet of the Apes. Franklin J. Schaffner's masterpiece is known for a few things. The
17:13ape makeup, the famous twist ending, and of course, this endlessly quotable bit of dialogue. It's
17:19easily one of the most popular lines in all of cinema, and it has undoubtedly been parroted by
17:24millions throughout the preceding decades. Of course, it's also been warped and misquoted
17:35throughout the years as well. It's Take Your Stinking Paws Off Me, not Get, and it's just a
17:41simple Damn instead of the more popular Damned. Regardless, it's been a pop culture mainstay
17:47since the movie's release in 1968, and we can see why. It's a damn good line.
18:06If you're on your phone, make sure you go into your settings and switch on notifications.
18:12Number one. I Fart in Your General Direction. Monty Python and the Holy Grail. If there was
18:18a record for most quoted movie of all time, it would probably go to Monty Python and the Holy
18:23Grail. It's considered one of the funniest comedies ever made, and its script is the
18:38stuff of legend, much like the Holy Grail itself. Every line is quotable, including this renowned
18:44insult spoken by John Cleese. It doesn't matter if you actually farted, the quote is still
18:57hilarious, and it's guaranteed to get a laugh every single time. Everyone loves a good fart joke,
19:03and this is one of the best. Do you have any other movie insults you pull out on occasion?
19:09Let us know in the comments below. I've known sheep that could outwit you. I've worn dresses
19:14with higher IQs. Did you enjoy this video? Check out these other clips from WatchMojo,
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