Countdown | Friday 13th April 2018 | Episode 6805
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00:00This programme contains strong language and adult humour.
00:03CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
00:31Well, good afternoon and welcome to the Countdown studio.
00:35Now, who knows about that teacher, Rachel,
00:38that earlier this year set his class a riddle,
00:41which didn't quite work out as being as much fun as he hoped it would.
00:45Here's the riddle, see what you think.
00:47I am the beginning of everything, the end of everywhere,
00:50the beginning of eternity, the end of time and space. What am I?
00:54And actually...
00:56Made for quite an anticlimax,
00:58because the actual answer is simply the letter E.
01:01Quite neat, quite neat. But there we are.
01:03I know, I love those kind of things.
01:05My friend got me for Christmas the GCHQ puzzle book.
01:08Oh, really?
01:09And it's absolutely the most difficult, brain-hurting puzzle book
01:13I've ever had. It's written by all the geniuses at GCHQ
01:16over years and years and years.
01:18They've compiled their own little teasers
01:20and they get harder and harder as the book goes on.
01:23And I'm kind of on chapter one, and every time you get one,
01:26you're just kind of like, yes!
01:28And it really is...
01:29It's hardcore.
01:30Really?
01:31Yeah.
01:32Oh, brilliant. Excellent.
01:33Now, who's hardcore?
01:34Dougie Mackay's pretty hardcore, actually.
01:36Five wins.
01:38You had a little bit of a snooze last time in,
01:41but you came through and won again.
01:43Just about, yeah.
01:44Good win.
01:45Let's see how you get on with Andy Christley,
01:47football data analyst from London.
01:49You work at the FA.
01:51I am a data analyst for the FA, so I work within a research team.
01:55So a lot of my job is trying to get as many people
01:58playing football as possible
02:00and also as many people watching the game as possible as well,
02:03and building predictive models and things like that to try and...
02:06I mean, it is such a thing now, isn't it?
02:08Absolutely.
02:09And there's a lot of science that goes behind it,
02:11more so than ever before.
02:12You're doing a great job because football is all-conquering,
02:15it seems to me. It's amazing.
02:17Anyway, big round of applause for Andy and Dougie.
02:21APPLAUSE
02:26And over in the corner, of course, Susie, as ever.
02:29And sitting alongside her, she has singer and pop sensation.
02:33It says sensation here.
02:35Jimmy Osmond, the wonderful Jimmy Osmond.
02:37CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
02:42And that's for Susie, she'll be all right.
02:45She'll be safe.
02:46You are a sensation. You're a good bloke.
02:49Andy and Dougie, off we go. Good luck.
02:52Thank you. Good afternoon, Rachel.
02:54Afternoon, Dougie. Consonant, please.
02:56Thank you. Start today with D.
02:59And a second consonant?
03:01N.
03:02And a third?
03:04N.
03:06Vowel?
03:08I.
03:10Vowel?
03:12A.
03:13Vowel?
03:15E.
03:17Consonant?
03:18R.
03:20Consonant?
03:22W.
03:24And a vowel, please?
03:26And lastly, I.
03:29And here's the Countdown Clock.
03:49CLOCK TICKS
04:01Dougie? Seven.
04:03Andy? Seven.
04:05Dougie? Windier.
04:07And... Yes, Andy? Windier, as well.
04:10There we go. OK.
04:12Jimmy and Susie?
04:13I had windier, but also diner.
04:16I'm getting hungry over here.
04:19Susie?
04:20Yes, windier was the only seven we could find.
04:22Inwood was there as well, for six.
04:24Thank you. Seven apiece. Now then, Andy, your letters game.
04:28Hi, Rachel. Hi, Andy.
04:29Can I have a consonant, please?
04:31Thank you. Start with F.
04:33Another?
04:36D.
04:37A vowel?
04:39O.
04:41Consonant?
04:43R.
04:44A vowel?
04:46U.
04:48A consonant?
04:50D.
04:52A vowel?
04:54A.
04:56A consonant?
04:58T.
05:00And a final consonant, please?
05:02And a final P.
05:04Stand by.
05:14CLOCK TICKS
05:36Mm, what do you think?
05:38Just a four.
05:40Dougie? Just a five.
05:42Proud.
05:44And Dougie? Proud.
05:48How did we do in the corner, I wonder?
05:50Jimmy and Susie? Proud, I had.
05:52Yeah, it was really tricky, this one.
05:54There's another five, a rare five, Nick.
05:56Padu, P-A-D-O-U, which is a kind of silk ribbon.
05:59Wow. OK.
06:00But couldn't get beyond five.
06:02Indeed. Slim pickings there.
06:04Twelfth place, seven. Andy on seven.
06:06And it's Dougie's numbers game.
06:08Yes, Dougie?
06:09Can I have one from the top and five small ones, please, Rachel?
06:11Once bitten, twice shy with the four large.
06:13Thank you, Dougie. Back to one large.
06:15And this time they are four, seven, one, eight, three,
06:21and the large one, 25.
06:23And the target, 666.
06:26Ooh, 666.
06:28CLOCK TICKS
06:41CLOCK TICKS
06:59Yes, Dougie?
07:01664, not very well written down.
07:03664. And Andy?
07:05668.
07:07Right.
07:09And with Dougie?
07:11So I did 25 times four.
07:13100.
07:15And then I took away the three and the one.
07:20Three and the one, yep, 96.
07:22And multiplied that by seven.
07:24Multiplied that by seven for 672.
07:28And took away the eight.
07:30And then the eight you haven't used. Yep, two below.
07:32And the other way around, Andy?
07:34Eight plus one is nine.
07:37Yep.
07:38Multiplied by three is 27.
07:4027.
07:41Multiplied by 25 is 675.
07:44It is.
07:45And take away the seven.
07:46And the seven you haven't used for two the other way.
07:49Lovely.
07:50Very good.
07:51We've lost Bradley here. 666 is what we're after.
07:54Yes, I found him.
07:56If you say one plus four is five,
07:59times eight is 40,
08:01minus three is 37,
08:04and then 25 minus seven is 18,
08:07and that's it.
08:08We've won the Tantum together.
08:09Terrific.
08:10APPLAUSE
08:11Wonderful.
08:15So, to fill that five points, 19 plays Andy's 14,
08:18as we turn to our first Tea Time teaser,
08:20which is Roamed Dry, and the clue...
08:23He roamed the dry lands with nothing but this creature for company.
08:27He roamed the dry lands with nothing but this creature for company.
08:38APPLAUSE
08:46Welcome back. I left with the clue.
08:48He roamed the dry lands with nothing but this creature for company.
08:52That creature would have been a dromedary.
08:55Is that one hump or two?
08:57You're asking the wrong woman. I can count, but she knows the words.
09:00Susie, it's a one humper.
09:02Yeah, it's an Arabian camel. It's a really, really fast one.
09:06I'm asking about humps, not speed.
09:08Yes, I think one hump.
09:10Thank you very much.
09:12Jolly good. 19 plays 14, and Andy, it's your letters game.
09:16Can I have a consonant, please?
09:18Thank you, Andy. S
09:21Another.
09:24M
09:25A vowel.
09:28E
09:29A consonant.
09:32T
09:34A vowel.
09:36A
09:38A consonant.
09:40T
09:42A vowel.
09:44O
09:46A consonant, please.
09:49P
09:50And a final vowel, please.
09:53And a final E.
09:56Stand by.
10:06MUSIC PLAYS
10:28Andy?
10:29Slightly Risky Six.
10:31Dougie?
10:32Seven.
10:33Andy?
10:34T
10:35E
10:36S
10:37Dougie?
10:38Tempest.
10:39And tempest.
10:40Matz, yes, it is a countable noun.
10:42It's a sheet of cardboard placed on the back of a picture.
10:44You can pluralise it, in that sense.
10:46Thank you very much. And Jimmy?
10:48Is that in there?
10:50Erm, no, you need two Os.
10:52Oh, shoot.
10:53I had tempest.
10:54I had tempest, which was really nice.
10:56Obviously, flunk spelling in my head.
10:58But tempest I have.
11:00And Susie?
11:02Poetast.
11:04So that's P-O-E-T-A-S-T-E.
11:06And that's to write a work in the manner of a poetaster.
11:10And that itself is a writer of inferior verse.
11:13So somebody who's a bit of a hack when it comes to poetry.
11:16And what they produce is a poetast.
11:18Thank you very much.
11:23Very good.
11:24So, 26 to 14, then, sees Dougie still in the lead.
11:27And we turn now to Dougie for a letters game.
11:29Yes, Dougie?
11:30Consonant, please, Rachel.
11:32S.
11:34And a second?
11:36G.
11:37And a third?
11:39R.
11:41And a vowel?
11:43I.
11:44Vowel?
11:46O.
11:47Vowel?
11:49U.
11:51Consonant?
11:53R.
11:55Vowel?
11:57I.
11:59And a consonant, please.
12:01And lastly, W.
12:04And here's the Countdown Clock.
12:30WHISTLE BLOWS
12:36Dougie?
12:37A seven.
12:38Andy?
12:39I think I've got a seven as well.
12:41Dougie?
12:42Rigours.
12:43And Andy?
12:44Yeah, rigours as well.
12:46And in the corner?
12:47Rigours.
12:48Well done. And Susie?
12:50Yes, same. Harsh and demanding conditions.
12:52You might talk about the rigours of a winter, particularly bad winter.
12:55Absolutely. The rigours, yeah. Rigorous.
12:58Time, 33 to 21.
13:00Andy?
13:02Numbers for you.
13:03Can I have two from the top, please, Rachel, and four from the bottom?
13:07You can indeed, thank you, Andy.
13:09Two large, four little, and these four little ones are four,
13:13three, three and five,
13:15and the large two, 75 and 100.
13:18And the target, 634.
13:21634.
13:23CLOCK CHIMES
13:29CLOCK CONTINUES CHIMING
13:53Andy?
13:54Yes, 634.
13:56Dougie?
13:57No, I'm one away, 635.
13:59Andy?
14:003 plus 3 is 6.
14:023 plus 3 is 6.
14:03100 plus 5 is 105.
14:05Yep.
14:06Multiply them together to get 630 and add the 4.
14:10Perfect. 634. Lovely.
14:12Well done.
14:16Well done, Andy. Keeps you well in touch.
14:18Only two points adrift there. That's nothing.
14:21As we turn to Jimmy.
14:23The Angels and the Osmonds don't sound like a great mix.
14:29They don't.
14:30What happened?
14:31Well, back in 75, we were on a world tour,
14:34and, you know, getting in and out of the arenas at times was quite tricky.
14:39And it was, you know, we'd come like in bread trucks
14:42and disguise ourselves a bit to get in and out.
14:45As a matter of fact, they used to carry me in a trunk.
14:47I was a little kid, you know,
14:49so they'd put me in a trunk and actually carry me into the venue.
14:52My father and my mother always traveled with us,
14:54and Hell's Angels came to our concert,
14:56because Crazy Horses at the time was top of the charts and doing really well.
15:01And they didn't really quite know how to handle us, you know.
15:05Here we are, this pop band, you know.
15:08And so they decided they saw my dad, and they took eggs,
15:12and they egged my dad.
15:15And, you know, they were really disruptive.
15:17We always carried these bodyguards with us,
15:19and everywhere we would go, we'd have these guys with us
15:21to not only protect us, but also the fans that would come to the shows.
15:25Anyway, long story short, it was so funny.
15:28It turned out so funny.
15:30My dad used to wear a toupee,
15:32and because Hell's Angels egged him,
15:35the egg yolk turned his toupee bright yellow.
15:39And so the rest of the tour, he looked like Pepe Le Pew, you know.
15:43And it was the funniest thing, and it was a tragic moment,
15:46but my mum always said tragedy plus time equals humour,
15:50and now we're really laughing about that one.
15:54APPLAUSE
15:57Well, well.
15:5933, page 31, Dougie on 33.
16:02Dougie, off you go again.
16:04Consonant, please, Rachel.
16:06Thank you, Dougie.
16:07S.
16:09A second.
16:11L.
16:12And a third.
16:15P.
16:16A vowel.
16:18E.
16:19Vowel.
16:20I.
16:22Vowel.
16:24E.
16:25Consonant.
16:27M.
16:29A consonant.
16:31S.
16:33And a final vowel, please.
16:35And a final A.
16:37Stand by.
16:44MUSIC PLAYS
17:09Dougie?
17:10Just seven.
17:11Andy?
17:12Seven as well.
17:14Dougie?
17:15Samples.
17:16Andy, seven?
17:17Samples as well.
17:19There we go.
17:20Can we do better, I wonder?
17:22You're going to be mispleased with me because I had nothing,
17:26but she had mispleased.
17:28And that would be a...?
17:29Oh, mispleased, yeah, it's there for nine.
17:31That would be a nine.
17:32APPLAUSE
17:37Well done.
17:38Mispleased indeed.
17:40Andy wins, 40 plays 38.
17:42Andy, your letters game.
17:44Can I have a consonant, please?
17:46Thank you, Andy.
17:47V.
17:48And another.
17:50K.
17:52A vowel.
17:54O.
17:55A consonant.
17:57R.
17:59A vowel.
18:01U.
18:03Consonant.
18:05P.
18:07A vowel.
18:10A consonant, please.
18:12M.
18:14And a final consonant.
18:17And a final N.
18:19Countdown.
18:40MUSIC STOPS
18:52Andy?
18:53I'm torn.
18:55I'll go for a...
18:57risky seven, I think.
18:59Dougie?
19:00Just six.
19:01And your six?
19:03Proven.
19:04Now, come on.
19:05Unprove.
19:06To unprove.
19:08Unproved is there,
19:10but not unprove on its own.
19:13I'm sorry.
19:14That's bad luck.
19:16It sort of should be there, but it's just not.
19:20Jimmy?
19:21Punker, as in punk rocker.
19:24A punker?
19:25A punker.
19:26You reckon?
19:27I think.
19:28In our dictionary?
19:29Is it all right?
19:30It is, yes. There's North American, in fact.
19:32See?
19:33Punker.
19:34LAUGHTER
19:35Now then, Susie.
19:36That was our best.
19:37That's it?
19:38To say, yes.
19:39Really? Punker?
19:40Yeah.
19:4146-38.
19:42Dougie's numbers game now.
19:43Yes, Dougie?
19:44One from the top and five little ones, please.
19:47Thank you, Dougie. One large, five little again.
19:49And for this one, we have...
19:51five,
19:53three,
19:54one,
19:55ten,
19:56two,
19:57and 50.
19:59And the target?
20:00392.
20:013-9-2.
20:03MUSIC PLAYS
20:34Dougie?
20:353-9-2. Andy?
20:363-9-2 as well.
20:38Dougie?
20:3950-1.
20:4049.
20:41Times 5 plus 3.
20:43Times the 8. Yep. Lovely.
20:45Andy?
20:46Slightly different, but not really.
20:485 plus 3 is 8.
20:50Yeah.
20:51Times the 50.
20:52400.
20:53Take away the 10.
20:543-9-2.
20:55Lovely. Well done. Same result.
20:57APPLAUSE
21:00Well done, guys.
21:0246-48.
21:03Dougie's still in the lead as we turn to our second Tea Time teaser,
21:06which is Fred, Colin, and the clue.
21:09You might not find Fred and Colin in here,
21:12but you're sure to find the Colonel.
21:14You might not find Fred and Colin in here,
21:17but you're sure to find the Colonel.
21:20MUSIC PLAYS
21:28APPLAUSE
21:33APPLAUSE
21:36Welcome back. I left with the clue.
21:39You might not find Fred and Colin in here,
21:42but you're sure to find the Colonel.
21:45And the answer to that is that...
21:48..here is a cornfield.
21:51Cornfield.
21:53Now, then, 56-48.
21:55Andy, a little bit of catching up to do,
21:57but there's a little bit of time left.
21:59Can I have a consonant, please, Rachel?
22:01Thank you, Andy. G.
22:03And another?
22:05D.
22:07And a vowel?
22:09A.
22:11A consonant?
22:13R.
22:15A vowel?
22:17O.
22:18Another consonant?
22:20C.
22:22A vowel?
22:24E.
22:26A consonant, please?
22:28L.
22:30And a final vowel, please?
22:33And a final I.
22:35Stand by.
22:37MUSIC PLAYS
22:59MUSIC STOPS
23:07Andy? Seven.
23:09A seven. Duggee?
23:11Eight, I think. Andy?
23:13Glacier. And Calarid?
23:15Ooh.
23:17Calarid...
23:19There is a noun.
23:21There is no mention of Calarid here, I'm afraid, Duggee.
23:26Well, well.
23:28Jimmy and Susie?
23:30I think we have dare and cordial.
23:32Cordial, yes.
23:34For seven.
23:36And a dariole is another seven.
23:38The flowerpot-shaped cooking mould.
23:41That comes up relentlessly.
23:43It's extraordinary.
23:45This puts Duggee under a little bit of stress here now.
23:48Close game. Duggee, your letters game.
23:50A consonant, please, Rachel?
23:52Thank you, Duggee. H.
23:54A consonant?
23:56N. And a third?
23:58Z.
24:00A vowel?
24:02A.
24:04Vowel?
24:06I.
24:08A vowel?
24:10O.
24:12Consonant?
24:14S.
24:16Consonant?
24:18T.
24:20And a final consonant, please?
24:22D.
24:24And the clock starts now.
24:53Andy?
24:55Just a five.
24:57Duggee?
24:59Just a five as well. Andy?
25:01Stain.
25:03And Sen?
25:05Stain. Can we beat five, Jimmy?
25:07Well, I don't know. Can I confer with the pro over here?
25:10Toad-ish.
25:12Very good.
25:14Is that it? Is that proper to say?
25:16Don't want to be toadish, but it's in the dictionary. Brilliant.
25:18Susie, anything else?
25:20That's a cracker.
25:22Thanks, Jimmy. 60 plays 61.
25:24And now, Susie, it's your wonderful origins of words.
25:28So, I often talk about mistakes, Nick,
25:30that have been made in the forming of English, really.
25:34It makes English what it is, which is quirky and rich,
25:37and it's full of serendipity, incredibly hard to learn
25:40if you're not a native speaker.
25:42So I often talk about spelling hiccups, for example,
25:44that gave us the H in ghost.
25:46But I don't often talk about words
25:48that have a complete misunderstanding in themselves,
25:50and we're still saddled, really, with the mistakes of scribes
25:53and centuries gone past, even today.
25:56So you take the word Auburn,
25:58Auburn being reddish-brown in hair colour.
26:00You might think of Julianne Moore or Emma Stone,
26:02a really rich, beautiful red colour.
26:05But back in Roman times, it meant something very, very different,
26:08because their word, their Latin word, alburnus, meant fair-haired.
26:13And the literal meaning of alburnus was like white.
26:16So alburn, which was once a blank slate on which public notices were written,
26:21albumen, the white of an egg, the white clit of Dover.
26:25So lots and lots of words are related to this alburnus.
26:28It meant white-haired, really, incredibly blonde in colour.
26:32But as it passed through different languages,
26:34Romans gave you so many different words from their language of Latin,
26:38but eventually they wound their way through different continents,
26:40different countries, it began to be confused.
26:43And that was because in native French and indeed in English for a bit,
26:46brune, B-R-O-U-N-E, meant brown.
26:49It gave us brunette today.
26:51But that alburnus became albrunus for a while,
26:54and people thought that Auburn actually meant brown,
26:56nothing to do at all with blonde hair.
26:59So it means that the very blonde girls and women of Roman times
27:03became the Auburn or reddish-brown-haired women or indeed men of today.
27:08But back to mistakes, let's leave you with a couple more.
27:11Cherries, when people heard cherries, as it was in French,
27:14it became cerise now, and we have cerise as a colour,
27:17they thought that was a plural.
27:19So they sort of backtracked, if you like, and went from cherries to cherry.
27:23So cherry actually never existed in any other language.
27:26We just invented it that way.
27:28And one of my favourites is to sneeze,
27:30because sneeze should really be finesse.
27:33Finesse was how it started.
27:35It sounds much better as a sneeze, I think, on a masterpiece.
27:38But somewhere in the 15th century,
27:40the first scribe saw that long lowercase f that they used to have
27:44and thought it was an s,
27:46and we have been stuck with sneeze instead of fneeze ever since.
27:50Very good.
27:5861 to 60.
28:00Now, Andy, your letters game.
28:02Can I have a consonant, please, Rachel?
28:04Thank you, Andy. S.
28:06And another?
28:08T.
28:09And a vowel?
28:11I.
28:13A consonant, please?
28:15V.
28:17A vowel?
28:19E.
28:21Consonant?
28:23J.
28:25A vowel?
28:29A.
28:31A consonant?
28:33S.
28:35And a final consonant, please?
28:37And a final L.
28:39Countdown.
29:08Andy?
29:10Seven.
29:12Dougie. Seven, not written down.
29:14What would that be?
29:16Valises.
29:18Valises and Andy.
29:20And valises as well.
29:22Happy with that?
29:24Yeah, very good.
29:26A word from French that's come into English and stayed there.
29:28Exactly. And Jimmy?
29:30Jives.
29:32Jives is good, yes.
29:34Salties are there.
29:36Saltwater crocodile.
29:38Oh, that's cool.
29:40Keep well away.
29:42Keep very well away.
29:441.68-67, Dougie, final letters game.
29:46Consonant, please, Rachel?
29:48Thank you, Dougie. T.
29:50A second?
29:52C.
29:54And a third?
29:56M.
29:58Vowel?
30:00E.
30:02Vowel?
30:04I.
30:06Consonant?
30:08L.
30:10Vowel?
30:12E.
30:14And a consonant, please?
30:16And lastly, N.
30:18The clock starts now.
30:34CLOCK TICKS
30:48Dougie?
30:50Seven.
30:52Andy?
30:54Seven as well.
30:56Dougie?
30:58Climate.
31:00And?
31:02Climate.
31:04And Susie?
31:06Clement is there as well. Mild clement weather.
31:10All right. 75-74, Andy.
31:12Final numbers game.
31:14Can I have two from the top again, please, Rachel?
31:16You can indeed.
31:18Two from the top, four little and a potential crucial conundrum.
31:20Thank you, Andy.
31:22The last numbers of the day are
31:243, 1, 7, 5
31:26and then the big two,
31:2875 and 50
31:30and your target...
31:32Oh, 750.
31:34750.
32:00CLOCK TICKS
32:06Andy?
32:08Just about.
32:10Just about. Dougie?
32:12Yep, 750.
32:14Come on, Andy.
32:16Seven plus three is ten.
32:18Ten.
32:20There we go.
32:22So it's just one point in it, then.
32:2485-84, which means only one thing.
32:26We're about to go into a crucial countdown conundrum.
32:28And here it comes,
32:30today's crucial countdown conundrum.
32:34BUZZER
32:36Andy Quistley.
32:38No, I've not got it.
32:40No!
32:42No!
32:44Over to you.
32:48CLOCK TICKS
32:58BUZZER
33:14BUZZER
33:16Sorry. Dougie?
33:18Mentoring.
33:20Mentoring. Let's see whether you're right.
33:22Right at the end.
33:24APPLAUSE
33:26You got it.
33:28But you were very honest and straight about that.
33:30That was terrific.
33:32As soon as I said,
33:34I haven't got it,
33:36I then got it.
33:38That's amazing.
33:40Dougie, you're coming back next time.
33:42But that was...
33:44I could see it in your eye, you know,
33:46cos you suddenly realised you had it.
33:48Yeah.
33:50Bad luck. You're a great player, Andy, I tell you.
33:5284, but Dougie on 95 takes it.
33:54So you're back to the FA with a goodie bag
33:56and a round of applause ringing in your ears
33:58cos you're a great player.
34:02Fantastic. We'll see you next time.
34:04Look at this! Six wins!
34:06Doesn't get any easier, does it?
34:08Quite the opposite, Nick.
34:10You carried it off again. Six wins. Well done.
34:12See you next time.
34:14Wow, that was a game and a half, wasn't it?
34:16Amazing.
34:18Terrific.
34:20We'll see you both next time.
34:22Anyway, we'll see Dougie next time.
34:24We will indeed.
34:26See you then. Join us next time.
34:28Same time, same place, you'll be sure of it.
34:30A very good afternoon to you.
34:32You can contact the programme by email
34:34at countdown at channel4.com
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34:44at channel4.com
34:46forward slash countdown