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00:00This programme contains strong language and adult humour.
00:03If you're not comfortable with something, please leave a comment.
00:20CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
00:31Good afternoon and welcome to the Countdown Studios.
00:34Now, when it comes to movies and TV shows,
00:36some locations seem to crop up time and time and time again.
00:40A survey was conducted recently which surprised...
00:43Well, it actually didn't contain too many surprises at all
00:46because New York came roaring out on top.
00:48London was 11th, primarily the South Bank,
00:52for films such as The Bourne Ultimatum and Spectre.
00:5671 productions.
00:58I get really excited, like ridiculously excited,
01:02about when I spot somewhere that I know in a film.
01:04Even when I work in TV, if there's a little restaurant or a road or...
01:07Yeah, yeah, yeah.
01:08So whether it's Notting Hill or in the latest Bourne movie,
01:11they're around Paddington Basin, which is a few-minute walk from me.
01:14It is good sport and that's exactly right.
01:16You see somewhere and you think, yeah, I was there.
01:18In fact, when I was involved in The Apprentice,
01:21because we shot over ten years,
01:23we covered London backwards, sideways, that's amazing.
01:27That was part of The Apprentice bingo.
01:29Whenever there's a gratuitous shot of London, you take a shot.
01:32Yeah, exactly.
01:33And there were many.
01:34Many, many, many.
01:36Now, who's with us?
01:37Jan Palsky's back,
01:38semi-retired admin worker from Sleaford in Lincolnshire,
01:41doing brilliantly.
01:43You're up against Mick Purdy,
01:45a part-time golf caddy master from Scarborough
01:49who's secretary of the Seamer Sports Club.
01:52You've been a member there for 35 years.
01:54And Seamer as well, a little village outside Scarborough.
01:56That's right, yeah.
01:57Where are you a caddy master, then?
01:59Gunton Golf Club.
02:00Pretty famous place, yeah?
02:01Yeah, they have a variety cup there.
02:03Well, you're very welcome here anyway.
02:05Have a lovely time, both of you.
02:06Big round of applause for Jan and Mick.
02:13And over in the corner,
02:15Susie, of course, joined once again by our favourite poet,
02:19Pam Ayers.
02:20Welcome back, Pam.
02:25The wonderful Pam Ayers.
02:27Jan, let us go.
02:30Good afternoon, Rachel.
02:31Good afternoon, Jan.
02:32Can I please start with a consonant?
02:34Thank you. Start today with Y.
02:37And another consonant.
02:39S.
02:41Another one.
02:43P.
02:44And a vowel, please.
02:46A.
02:48Another vowel.
02:49E.
02:51Another vowel.
02:53I.
02:55A consonant, please.
02:57T.
02:59Another consonant.
03:01F.
03:03And one more consonant, please.
03:06And lastly, T.
03:07And here's the Countdown Clock.
03:23CLOCK TICKS
03:40Well, Jan?
03:41I've got a seven.
03:42A seven. Mick?
03:43Seven.
03:44Thank you, Jan.
03:45Er, patties.
03:46Patties and Mick.
03:48Patties as well.
03:49Two patties.
03:50So, Jan, your patties, in the nicest possible way.
03:54And, Pam, what have we got over there?
03:56Oh, we've got fatties.
03:57You've got fatties?
03:58Yes.
03:59I'm not sure you're allowed to say that any more, are you?
04:01Oh, I don't know.
04:03I'll consult Susie.
04:05Well, yeah, if it's in the dictionary, I think it's fine.
04:07All right.
04:08We've also got testify as well.
04:10Oh, you had me worried there for a moment.
04:12Testify!
04:16Thank you very much, Pam.
04:18And now, for that piece, Mick, your letters game.
04:21Afternoon, Rachel.
04:22Afternoon, Mick.
04:23I'll start with a vowel, please.
04:24Thank you. Start with O.
04:26Another vowel.
04:28E.
04:29Vowel.
04:31I.
04:33Consonant.
04:35K.
04:37Another consonant.
04:38N.
04:40Another consonant.
04:42D.
04:44Vowel.
04:46O.
04:48Another vowel.
04:50A.
04:52And finish with a consonant.
04:54And finish with T.
04:56Stand by.
05:17CLOCK TICKS
05:28Well, Mick, I'll try a six.
05:30Jan?
05:31Yes, I've got a six.
05:33Mick?
05:34Tanki.
05:35T-A-N-K-I-E.
05:36Jan?
05:37Donate.
05:38And donate.
05:39There is no tanki, unfortunately.
05:41There's a tankini, or a tanka, which is a Japanese poem,
05:45but no tanki, sorry.
05:46Bad luck. What can we have?
05:48Well, we have a predatory insect
05:51by which you would not wish to be attacked,
05:54called an odonate, so Susie tells me.
05:58Yes.
05:59What's particularly dangerous about this odonate?
06:01Well, I don't think they'd attack us.
06:03Dragonflies or damselflies are part of the odonata.
06:06They are quite fierce predators round a pond, though, aren't they?
06:09Yeah, yeah, yeah.
06:10I love dragonflies.
06:11Yeah, I do too.
06:12They don't get very far, though, if they attack you or Ari.
06:15No.
06:16Not in their current size, anyway.
06:18Give it time. 13 plays 7.
06:20Jan on 13, and it's Jan's numbers game.
06:24Yes, Rachel?
06:25Yeah.
06:26Two large, four little.
06:28Thank you very much.
06:29I know my orders by now. Thank you, Jan.
06:31The first time today, the numbers are 10, 2, 6, 6, 75 and 100.
06:38And the first target, 316.
06:41MUSIC
07:12Yes, Jan?
07:13I have 316.
07:15Mick?
07:16316.
07:17Jan?
07:18Three times the 100.
07:19Sorry, I've got the three.
07:20Six divided by three.
07:22Two, even.
07:23That's hard.
07:24300.
07:25Times the 100.
07:27Plus the 10 plus the 6.
07:28Yeah.
07:29Going through the motions.
07:30Six divided by two, same way.
07:33APPLAUSE
07:38Well done. 23 plays 17.
07:41Jan's favour as we reach for our first Tea Time teaser,
07:45which is, he flat her.
07:47And the clue, he wasn't trying to flatter her.
07:50His feelings were totally sincere.
07:52He wasn't trying to flatter her.
07:54His feelings were totally sincere.
08:05APPLAUSE
08:11Welcome back. I left with the clue, he wasn't trying to flatter her.
08:15His feelings were totally sincere.
08:17In fact, they were heartfelt.
08:19Heartfelt is what we were after.
08:2223 to 17, Jan in the lead.
08:25Mick, your letters game.
08:27Start with a vowel, please.
08:29Thank you, Mick. O.
08:31Another.
08:33E.
08:34Another.
08:36A.
08:37Another.
08:39O.
08:41Consonant.
08:43L.
08:44Consonant.
08:45F.
08:48Consonant.
08:49M.
08:53Consonant.
08:55S.
08:57And a consonant.
08:59And the last one, M.
09:01Stand by.
09:09CLOCK TICKS
09:32Well, Mick?
09:33Six.
09:34A six, Jan?
09:36A six.
09:37Mick?
09:38A six.
09:39And...?
09:40And flames.
09:41Flames. Any more flames? Old flames, new flames?
09:44We've got some flames over here.
09:46Yeah, there's also lemmas, Mick, for six,
09:48a word that lexicographers use a lot.
09:50Words or phrases that are defined in the dictionary
09:53are known as lemmas to us.
09:55Thank you. Thank you very much.
09:5729 plays 23.
09:59Jan on 29, and it's Jan's letters game.
10:03I'll start with a consonant, please.
10:05Thank you, Jan. R.
10:08N.
10:11T.
10:15I.
10:18U.
10:22O.
10:27A.
10:31L.
10:35And a final P.
10:37Stand by.
10:38CLOCK TICKS
11:08Jan?
11:09A seven. Whisky.
11:11Mick?
11:12Seven.
11:13A firm seven. Jan?
11:14I've got Puritan.
11:15And Mick?
11:16Outrain.
11:17I think, unfortunately, I'm going to have to disallow both of them.
11:20There's no outrain, and there's Puritan in there,
11:23but not Puritan, I'm afraid, Jan. Sorry.
11:26Bad luck. What can we have?
11:28Ah, yes.
11:29Well, we have a songbird called a trupial,
11:33as in hearken to the melodious notes of the trupial.
11:37And where can one find one of these, Jan?
11:39It's American, North American.
11:41Oh, OK.
11:42And it's eight.
11:44Yes.
11:45APPLAUSE
11:49Well done. 29 to 23, as I say.
11:52Mick, numbers have come up. Your numbers up.
11:55Mick?
11:56Could I have one large and five small, please, Rachel?
11:58You can indeed. Thank you, Mick.
12:00One from the top, and I'll go for these five.
12:02And these five are...
12:046, 4, 2, 6 and 5,
12:08and the big one, 100.
12:10And the target... 581.
12:13581.
12:30CLOCK TICKS
12:46Well, Mick, 581.
12:48No, I didn't get 581. No.
12:50No? No.
12:51Oh, Mick, now's your chance.
12:536 x 100.
12:556 x 100, 600.
12:572 x 4 is 8.
12:58Plus the 6, plus the 5 should be 19.
13:01Plus the 6, plus the 5, 19.
13:03And you're perfect. 581, well done.
13:05Well done.
13:06APPLAUSE
13:10Well done, Mick.
13:1133 to 29.
13:13As we turn to Pam now, Pam.
13:17Today, you will tell us about...
13:21A disappointment.
13:23Because I was asked to go on the Spring Watch programme
13:26and talk about hedgehogs, because I'm very keen on hedgehogs,
13:29and they were doing a feature about it.
13:31So I didn't really know what to wear,
13:33and I looked through my wardrobe,
13:35and I had a shirt with bumblebees on it,
13:37so I thought that'd be perfect.
13:39And I put it on with my black jeans,
13:41and I thought I looked very appropriate.
13:43So I went along to the show, and I appeared,
13:45and I came out with my hedgehog
13:47and said a few verses of my hedgehog poem,
13:49and that was it.
13:51And then I went home,
13:53and a couple of weeks later, the show was shown,
13:55and I thought, I'll get a cup of tea
13:57and sit and see what it looked like.
13:59Anyway, after a while,
14:01this portly old bird came shambling on,
14:03and for a moment, I thought,
14:07look at that, I thought,
14:09that woman's got a shirt on with bumblebees,
14:11just like mine, you know.
14:13And then I thought, I thought the awful...
14:16You know, I realised the awful truth
14:18that this portly old bird was actually me,
14:20and I always thought I was going to look a bit better than that,
14:23but I thought I looked awful,
14:25with a double chin and wrinkles
14:27and everything you don't want.
14:29And so my poem today is about just deciding
14:32to accept the inevitable decline.
14:37Bring ruddy grapefrocks and trousers and smocks,
14:41bring all of the latest apparel,
14:43but don't bring them skinny or mini or thinny,
14:47bring them as big as a barrel,
14:50and sew in a length of industrial strength,
14:53elastic or plastic or rubber,
14:56of massive endurance to give reassurance
14:59when fighting to hold in the blubber.
15:03Let's not do things by halves,
15:05boots with ruddy grape calves
15:08with gussets elastic or straining,
15:11not sixes or sevens,
15:13bring tens or elevens or twelve,
15:15if there's any remaining.
15:17Bring a nightdress for me,
15:19like a darned great marquee,
15:22with flounces and colourful threadings,
15:25for a moderate rent I could hire out my tent,
15:28for parties, bar mitzvahs and weddings.
15:32I'll be free, debonair,
15:34I'll buy new underwear,
15:36away with those bras uninspiring,
15:39no more to entomb the majestic bazoom
15:44they'll cut you in half under wiring.
15:47And as for the panties,
15:49I don't want them scanty,
15:50I don't want them frilly or lacy,
15:52bring them big and not sparse,
15:55for the serious arse.
15:59Who says size 24 can't be racy?
16:03APPLAUSE
16:13That's terribly good.
16:15I love it.
16:1733 plays 29.
16:19Look at this, Jan, what's going on here?
16:21It's your letters game now.
16:22Start with a consonant, please.
16:24Thank you, Jan. G.
16:26Erm...
16:28Another one.
16:30B.
16:32A third one.
16:34D.
16:36Erm...
16:38A vowel, please.
16:40E.
16:42A second vowel.
16:44O.
16:46And another vowel.
16:48U.
16:50A consonant.
16:52S.
16:54Another consonant.
16:56T.
16:58And...
17:00A vowel, please, finish with a vowel.
17:02And lastly, E.
17:04Stand by.
17:06CLOCK TICKS
17:30MUSIC STOPS
17:36Well, Jan?
17:38A six.
17:40Mick? Six.
17:42Jan?
17:44Baguettes.
17:46Mick? Stodge.
17:48Yes, absolutely fine.
17:50Now, Pam, Susie?
17:52I only came up with a five, which is gusto, but I like it.
17:55But we have a seven, which is...
17:58Baguettes. Very good.
18:00So, four points in it. Mick, 39. Jan just fall behind on 35.
18:05Ah, Mick, your letters game.
18:07R, please, Rachel.
18:09Thank you, Mick. A.
18:11Another.
18:13O.
18:15Another.
18:17I.
18:19Consonant.
18:21M.
18:23Consonant.
18:25Z.
18:27Consonant.
18:29H.
18:31Erm...
18:33Consonant.
18:35S.
18:37Vowel.
18:39E.
18:41And, er, another consonant, please.
18:43And lastly, C.
18:45And clock it out now.
18:47CLOCK TICKS
18:58CLOCK TICKS
19:16Yes, Mick? A five.
19:18A five. And Jan?
19:20I've just got a five, too. Mick?
19:22Holmes. Now.
19:24I've got hazes.
19:26Why not? Not easy. What did the corner come up with? Pam?
19:29We've got what they make the cycling shorts from.
19:32Chamois. Chamois leather.
19:34Chamois leather, yeah.
19:36They stop you from getting chafed, as I understand it.
19:38So important. Very important.
19:40So important. Four points. 44 to 40.
19:43Jan on 40. It's Jan's numbers game.
19:46Two from the top and four little ones, please.
19:48Try to reclaim your position on top. Thank you, Jan.
19:51These four small ones are four, six, five,
19:56and seven in the large 250.
19:58And 100.
20:00And the target, 554.
20:02554.
20:21CLOCK TICKS
20:35Well, Jan? 554.
20:37Mick? 554.
20:39554, of course. Jan?
20:42It's five times 100, plus the 50, plus the four.
20:45Nothing to debate. And Mick?
20:47Slightly different. Six plus five is 11, times 50 plus the four.
20:50That will do. Lovely.
20:52That'll do perfectly well.
20:54So, still four points, 54 to 50,
20:56as we turn to our second tea time teaser,
20:59which is Bert Quite.
21:01And the clue?
21:03Bert was quite adamant he needed to put another one of these
21:06on the barbecue. Bert was quite adamant.
21:09He needed to put another one of these on the barbecue.
21:12CLOCK TICKS
21:20CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
21:27Welcome back. I left with the clue, Bert was quite adamant
21:30he needed to put another one of these on the barbecue.
21:33Another what? Another briquette.
21:36A little brick. A little briquette.
21:3954 to 50, Mick on 54.
21:43And it's Mick's letters again.
21:45Another vowel, please, Rachel. Thank you, Mick. I.
21:48Another, please. E.
21:51Another.
21:53A.
21:55Consonant. R.
21:57Consonant. S.
22:01Consonant. R.
22:06Vowel.
22:08E.
22:10Consonant.
22:12H.
22:15Final consonant.
22:17And a final P.
22:19Done by?
22:45MUSIC
22:51Well, Mick? Seven.
22:53A seven, Jan? A seven.
22:55Mick? Paris. P-A-R-I-E-S.
22:58And? Repairs.
23:00Yeah, both fine.
23:02What have we got, Pam?
23:04I've scaled the heights with a Sherpa here,
23:07but we have harpies, which is seven,
23:11which sounds quite unpleasant.
23:13They are, no matter which way you look at it.
23:15In mythology they were monsters with a woman's head and body
23:18and a bird's wings and claws,
23:20but in figurative English it means a grasping, unpleasant woman.
23:24A harpy. A harpy. Harpy, indeed.
23:2661 to 57.
23:28Jan, your letters again.
23:32I'll start with a consonant, please. Thank you, Jan. V.
23:35And another consonant.
23:38M.
23:40And another consonant.
23:42B.
23:44And a vowel, please.
23:46O.
23:48A second vowel.
23:50A.
23:52A third vowel.
23:54E.
23:56A consonant.
23:58R.
24:00Another consonant.
24:02T.
24:04And I'll have another vowel, please.
24:07And lastly, I.
24:09Stand by.
24:40Well, Jan?
24:42I have an eight. An eight, Mick?
24:44No, I've just got a seven.
24:46And your seven?
24:48Abortia. Jan?
24:50Abortive.
24:52It's really good. There's no abortia, unfortunately.
24:54Nothing, but, yeah, that is very, very good.
24:56Well, puts you four ahead now.
24:58So, well done. Now, Pam.
25:00We have verbatim, which is an eight.
25:03Very good. So we are quite pleased with ourselves as well.
25:07Yeah. Jan's back where she normally finds herself.
25:1065 to Mick, 61.
25:12But this time, Susie, it's your origins of words.
25:16Well, if you were to hear extricate in English,
25:21you wouldn't necessarily link it with the theatre,
25:23but, in fact, that is pretty much in Roman times
25:26where you would hear it, first of all.
25:28It comes from the Latin ex, meaning out,
25:30and tricae, which was the Romans' word for nonsense or trifles.
25:35There are lots and lots of words in English for the same thing.
25:39We have trumperiness, trumpery, finery,
25:42flim-flam, skimble-scamble, lots of dialect words.
25:45But that tricae actually crops up in lots and lots of words,
25:49including extricate, because the idea is that
25:51if you extricate yourself from a situation,
25:53you get rid of all that trifling nonsense and you get on with it.
25:57Now, some etymologists look back even further
26:00and think that the tricae is actually related to trikos,
26:03which is a Greek word meaning hair.
26:05So a posh word for a hairdresser or a hair scientist is a trichologist.
26:11There is a medical condition actually called trichotillomania,
26:16which is the compulsion to tear your hair out.
26:19But you wouldn't necessarily think of extricate,
26:21but the idea might be then that your hair is so tangled,
26:24so dishevelled, if you like, which also has to do with hair,
26:27that you can't quite get anything out of it and smooth it down.
26:32And there's another one linked to that as well.
26:34Intricate as well, something very complicated,
26:36something very tangled, perhaps like hair.
26:39And also intrigue, because intrigue originally meant
26:42something that was full of complexity, not just secrecy.
26:46So that's those three.
26:48But there are also lots and lots of words in English
26:50which have hair at their roots, if you'll forgive the pun.
26:52So to name the stars that orbited the stars
26:55and trailed long, long cloud-like tails,
26:57the Greeks used the word aster, meaning star,
27:00and added cometes to it.
27:02And this combination meant a star with a long hair,
27:05which is quite beautiful.
27:07Of course, the Romans borrowed it into Latin, that went into French,
27:10and it ended up in English as comet, the star with the long hair.
27:14Wonderful. Thank you.
27:16APPLAUSE
27:20Very good.
27:22Very good. 65-61, Jan back in the lead, and it's Mick.
27:26Have a vowel, please, Rachel.
27:28Thank you, Mick.
27:30Another.
27:34Another.
27:37Consonant.
27:40Consonant.
27:44Consonant.
27:48Vowel.
27:52Vowel.
27:54I.
27:56And a consonant.
27:58And lastly, R.
28:00Stand by.
28:24WHISTLE BLOWS
28:32Mick?
28:34Six. Jan?
28:36I'm going to try a very risky seven.
28:38No, Mick.
28:40Rooted.
28:42This risk you speak of?
28:44Can you be doodier than the other guy?
28:46Doodier? Doodier.
28:48No. No.
28:50Sadly, not.
28:52We've got editor, which is a six.
28:54Yes. Anything else?
28:56No, just sixes. Fred, not.
28:58Thank you. So, two points in it now.
29:00Mick, 67.
29:02Jan on 65. Jan?
29:04I'll start with a consonant, please.
29:06Thank you, Jan. S.
29:08And another one, please.
29:10L.
29:12A third one.
29:14S.
29:16A vowel, please.
29:18U.
29:20Another vowel.
29:22A.
29:24A third vowel, please.
29:26U.
29:28I'll try a fourth vowel, please.
29:30A.
29:32A consonant.
29:34D.
29:36Er...
29:38E.
29:40A consonant, please.
29:42And the last one.
29:44X.
29:46Stand by.
29:48X.
30:18Well, Jan?
30:20I squeezed a six out of that.
30:22What did Mick do?
30:24A six as well.
30:26Now, Jan?
30:28Salads.
30:30Salads, Mick? Two salads, Mick's salad.
30:32Another salad over here was salads.
30:34Yes.
30:36And I've got usuals.
30:38We'll have the usuals, please.
30:40LAUGHTER
30:42But that's about it.
30:44That's it. Thank you.
30:46Still two points. Mick, two points ahead.
30:48As we go into the last numbers game, Mick.
30:51One large and five small, please, Rachel.
30:53Thank you, Mick. One large, five small,
30:55and your last chance to escape a crucial conundrum.
30:58See if you can do it.
31:00The final numbers are 8, 2, 10, 7, 3 and 50,
31:05and the target...
31:07464.
31:09464.
31:16WHISTLE BLOWS
31:42Will, Mick? 463.
31:44One away. Jan?
31:46463.
31:48Now, Mick?
31:50I did 7 plus 2 is 9.
31:52Yep.
31:54Times the 50.
31:56450.
31:58Plus the 3 and 10, sorry.
32:00Yeah, 3 and 10.
32:02Now then, Jan?
32:04Yes, I've done the same.
32:06There we go. And now, Rachel. 464?
32:08Yes. If you say 10 minus 2 is 8,
32:11multiply 2 to the 50 for 58,
32:13and times it by 8, you get 464.
32:16Well done. Perfect.
32:18APPLAUSE
32:19So we find ourselves in the unenviable position
32:21of having on our hands a crucial conundrum.
32:25Now then, fingers on buzzers,
32:28let's roll today's crucial countdown conundrum.
32:32BELL RINGS
32:41BUZZER
32:43Mick?
32:44Overheats?
32:46Let's see whether overheats is there.
32:48No.
32:50Back to you, Jan.
32:52BELL RINGS
33:12Well, we're foxed here.
33:14Two good players have been stymied.
33:18Who in the audience?
33:20Yes, madam.
33:21Is it overhasty?
33:23Overhasty. Let's have a look and see whether it is.
33:26Well done.
33:28APPLAUSE
33:30Well done indeed.
33:32Jan, you're not alone in the finals.
33:35There'll be some others there too.
33:37You're our number eight seed.
33:39Yes.
33:40No.
33:41Yes.
33:43Even though you went down to Mick, you're in the finals.
33:46So well done for that.
33:48We shall see Mick tomorrow. Well done.
33:52Thank you very much.
33:53Excellent stuff.
33:54You surprised?
33:55I'm very surprised.
33:57All right.
33:58I'm not sure whether you take a teapot as well.
34:01Yeah, we'll give you a teapot as well.
34:03Teapot and the finals. Who knows?
34:05Who knows where this will end?
34:08All right, we'll see you then.
34:10See you both tomorrow in the corner, yes?
34:12Pam and Susie.
34:13Rachel?
34:14Yeah, well, with Jan at number eight seed,
34:16I think the only person that can knock her out of the finals now is Mick.
34:19So she'll have to watch him for the next few days.
34:22Indeed we will.
34:23But one of you will be in the finals.
34:25So we'll see you tomorrow.
34:26See you tomorrow.
34:27See what happens tomorrow.
34:28Same time, same place.
34:29You'll be sure of it.
34:30A very good afternoon to you.
34:32You can contact the programme by email
34:35by Twitter
34:38or write to us at
34:42You can also find our web page at
34:50Tonight at eight, we return to Yorkshire.
34:52Joe Joyner, Paul Nicholls and Sunetra Sarkar
34:54star in New Ackley Bridge.
34:56Then at nine, weddings without the family's blessing.
34:5935 years, too big a gap?
35:02Ride and Prejudice begins tonight.
35:04But next, it's a place in the sun.