Too Many Crooks is a 1959 British black comedy film directed by Mario Zampi and starring Terry-Thomas, George Cole, Brenda De Banzie, Sidney James, Bernard Bresslaw and Vera Day. A bunch of inept crooks kidnap the wife of a shady businessman, only for him to decide he doesn’t want her back.
Source: Wikipedia
Source: Wikipedia
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Short filmTranscript
00:01:00© BF-WATCH TV 2021
00:01:30© BF-WATCH TV 2021
00:02:00© BF-WATCH TV 2021
00:02:30© BF-WATCH TV 2021
00:02:51Remember, just tap the glass gently, then reverse.
00:02:54I've driven cars before, Sidney.
00:02:56Yeah, I've smashed them too.
00:03:00© BF-WATCH TV 2021
00:03:30Just
00:03:58tap the glass gently.
00:03:59Then reverse, I said.
00:04:01So what does he do?
00:04:02He tried to knock the old building down.
00:04:03Perhaps he thought that would be the quickest way to get in.
00:04:06Look at your pictures.
00:04:08Our boss.
00:04:09Our boss, he calls himself.
00:04:10What has he got?
00:04:10Tell me, what has he got?
00:04:13Well, he's...
00:04:16Well, he's very refined, isn't he?
00:04:19Yeah, and he speaks nice and all.
00:04:21You know what?
00:04:22He's a twit.
00:04:23Twit?
00:04:24You're flattering him.
00:04:25Him and his big ideas.
00:04:28Operations.
00:04:29Operations.
00:04:31What's the next disaster on his list?
00:04:33The Shoreditch Christian Girls Club.
00:04:36Funny, I used to belong to it till I found
00:04:38out I was doing my strip tease.
00:04:40You better go back to the strip, kid,
00:04:41because you're going to lose your shirt with this clot.
00:04:43Look out.
00:04:49Hi, fellas.
00:04:51Don't get up.
00:04:58Yeah.
00:05:08Regrettable about that little contretemp.
00:05:10Contretemp?
00:05:11What's a fiasco, then, when we all get pinched?
00:05:14What did you think you were driving?
00:05:15A tank?
00:05:16The brakes failed.
00:05:17Liar.
00:05:19Who's calling me a liar?
00:05:21He was, and he meant it.
00:05:28Be careful, Sid, or I may have to teach you a sharp lesson.
00:05:50What in?
00:05:51Drive-in?
00:05:52What about some lolly?
00:05:53Well, we failed this time, but don't worry about the lolly.
00:05:56I can never stop worrying about it ever since I met you.
00:05:59Three cars you've wrecked in a month.
00:06:00Three!
00:06:01Four?
00:06:02Yeah, four.
00:06:03Well, what are you worrying about?
00:06:04They didn't cost you anything?
00:06:05You stole them all.
00:06:06I don't steal cars just for you to wreck.
00:06:07I got my living to earn.
00:06:08Me and all.
00:06:09I think I'd better go back to my wrestling.
00:06:11Why?
00:06:12You never won a fight?
00:06:13Because they used to pay me more to lose fights, that's why.
00:06:16All right.
00:06:17All right.
00:06:18Dessert me.
00:06:19Dessert me.
00:06:21I can find others to help me pick up.
00:06:2410,000 pounds?
00:06:2710,000 pounds?
00:06:30How much is that?
00:06:32Yeah, fingers.
00:06:3310,000 from the Christian girls of Shoreditch.
00:06:36We only got 18 in a tanner last time we wrecked here.
00:06:38We're not doing Shoreditch.
00:06:40We're going to crack one of the fullest safes in London.
00:06:43The Bank of England?
00:06:45No.
00:06:46Mr. Billy Gordons.
00:06:49Who's Billy Gordon?
00:06:51Who's Billy Gordon?
00:06:52Why don't you learn to read?
00:06:54I don't know.
00:06:55I can never get the hang of it.
00:06:57Anyway, what's reading got to do with it?
00:06:59Yeah, all right, shut up.
00:07:00Go on.
00:07:01Everybody knows Billy Gordon.
00:07:03He's a man who doesn't like banks.
00:07:05And people who don't like banks keep a lot of ready cash in the safe.
00:07:09And Billy Gordon's safe is the one we're going to bust.
00:07:14Kaltenberg did the bust of me just before he did the princess.
00:07:16Do you like it?
00:07:17Yes, but don't you look rather worried?
00:07:19I was.
00:07:20I was worried how much he was going to charge me.
00:07:22You know, I wanted to put a cigar in his mouth.
00:07:24He wouldn't stand for that.
00:07:26Tell me, anyone ever done your bust?
00:07:28No.
00:07:29Pity.
00:07:31Talking about busts, I mean, talking about journalists,
00:07:33you seem to be rather young and pretty to be a newshound.
00:07:36Well, Mother's Own Journal prefers younger women.
00:07:38So do I.
00:07:41Tell me, what can I do for you?
00:07:43Well, we're running a series called Success.
00:07:45It's about people who made a fortune out of nothing.
00:07:47Well, I said this started with nothing.
00:07:48500 smackers.
00:07:49It was owned by your wife, wasn't it?
00:07:51Yeah, yeah.
00:07:52Splendid woman, my wife.
00:07:53Got a glorious daughter.
00:07:54Is that a photograph of your wife?
00:07:56No, no, my daughter.
00:07:57Pretty, eh?
00:07:58Oh, charming.
00:07:59One of the last of the debs managed to slip her under the wire
00:08:01just before they closed the entries.
00:08:02Very proud of her.
00:08:03You were married in the war, weren't you?
00:08:05Yes, Sergeant Major.
00:08:06You were a Sergeant Major?
00:08:07No, I wasn't.
00:08:08My wife was.
00:08:09Oh.
00:08:10Honest.
00:08:11PT instructors.
00:08:12Strong as an ox.
00:08:14She took one look at me and the next thing I knew,
00:08:16I was being thrust up the aisle.
00:08:17Up the what?
00:08:18Up the aisle, dear.
00:08:19Oh.
00:08:20She's changed now.
00:08:21Quiet as a mouse.
00:08:22So, you were in the army?
00:08:23What?
00:08:24Reserved occupation, me.
00:08:25Used to collect swill from army camps.
00:08:27Swill?
00:08:28Yeah.
00:08:29What was swill used for?
00:08:30I'm damned if I know.
00:08:31Heat to think.
00:08:32Hell of a market in it.
00:08:33Your wife's here.
00:08:34She doesn't want to disturb you, but, uh...
00:08:38Disturb?
00:08:39Show her in.
00:08:40Please come in, Mrs. Gordon.
00:08:42Thank you, Miss, uh...
00:08:45Oh.
00:08:46Lucy, my love.
00:08:47What a nice surprise.
00:08:48I didn't want to bother you, but in your rush this morning,
00:08:51you forgot my housekeeping money, and I want...
00:08:53I'm so sorry.
00:08:55Oh, by the way, this is Miss, um...
00:08:57The mother's own thing.
00:08:58You know, my wife.
00:08:59Hello.
00:09:00How do you do?
00:09:01I'm so sorry to disturb you.
00:09:02You didn't.
00:09:03I've just been telling all about you.
00:09:04My little piggy bank.
00:09:06Nice little money box, eh?
00:09:07Cost me a fortune.
00:09:08Still, it's mothproof.
00:09:09Well, there you are, my dear.
00:09:10You're sobered again.
00:09:12But, Billy, I only wanted 10.
00:09:13There must be about 100 here.
00:09:15Oh, really?
00:09:16Never could count.
00:09:17Get along with you.
00:09:18Shall we, miss?
00:09:19Oh, goodbye, Miss, uh...
00:09:20Miss, uh...
00:09:21Goodbye, Mrs. Gordon.
00:09:22Goodbye.
00:09:25Oh.
00:09:29It was 10 you wanted, wasn't it?
00:09:32Yeah?
00:09:33Oh, I thought...
00:09:34Lucy, Lucy.
00:09:35We had to put on a show for Miss Thing,
00:09:37but the income tax swine are hounding me.
00:09:39And I can't afford to throw away hundreds on nothing, can I?
00:09:43Well, can I?
00:09:44No.
00:09:45Good.
00:09:47We've got to be very careful for the moment.
00:09:48When our ship comes in,
00:09:49the old country house, the cook, the butler,
00:09:51ta-ta.
00:09:52Ta-ta.
00:09:57Oh, well, Blast,
00:09:58get in touch with Rogers and put 100,
00:10:00no, 90, on Peruvian Wonder to win.
00:10:02Better look sleepy, otherwise you'll miss the offer.
00:10:04Well, there's a gentleman there to see you with the samples.
00:10:06Oh, Blast.
00:10:07Right, well, tell him to wait,
00:10:08and I'll get rid of this Miss, uh...
00:10:10Miss...
00:10:11Chilick.
00:10:12Chilick.
00:10:13You're kidding.
00:10:16I'm sorry, my dear.
00:10:17I'm afraid I have to go.
00:10:18I've got a client waiting.
00:10:19Oh, I'm so sorry.
00:10:20So am I.
00:10:22I say,
00:10:23why don't we meet after office hours?
00:10:25Wouldn't that be too much for you?
00:10:27You don't know me.
00:10:29I'll see how things are going
00:10:30and then phone you at the office, yes?
00:10:31Yes, please.
00:10:33If you get me.
00:10:34Arrivederci.
00:10:37Arrivederci.
00:10:41Tommy, hello.
00:10:43Guten Tag.
00:10:44Bonjour.
00:10:45Oh, you're French.
00:10:46No, I am Finnish.
00:10:47Oh, why do you speak French?
00:10:48Finnish is too difficult.
00:10:54Please.
00:10:56You're right.
00:10:57I remember I had a Finnish girl once.
00:10:58She was very difficult.
00:11:00Well, glad to see you've got the violin.
00:11:02Da.
00:11:03With no strings attached.
00:11:06Very useful.
00:11:10There's Finnish.
00:11:11How many?
00:11:122,500.
00:11:13When?
00:11:14Next week.
00:11:15How much?
00:11:1650,000 pounds.
00:11:17Ha!
00:11:18Five.
00:11:19Ha!
00:11:2040.
00:11:2115.
00:11:2235.
00:11:2320.
00:11:2430.
00:11:2525.
00:11:26Done.
00:11:27Just a minute.
00:11:28I hope they work.
00:11:29Why?
00:11:30Why?
00:11:31But I do not understand.
00:11:33Complaints?
00:11:34From whom?
00:11:35There were one or two survivors.
00:11:36You know, there's a sucker born every minute,
00:11:38but you carry on like that
00:11:39and there won't be enough left to carry around.
00:11:41Do you really need to put the money in?
00:11:42No.
00:11:43Right, that'll be 25,000.
00:11:44That's three quid for the case.
00:11:45Ha!
00:11:46Two.
00:11:47Don't be mean.
00:11:48It's the best quality plastic.
00:11:49It'll last you a lifetime.
00:11:50Ha!
00:11:51Oh, sorry.
00:11:52Right, now these are in thousands.
00:11:54One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine.
00:12:01Ten.
00:12:03Eleven.
00:12:11I have to get my own window cleaner.
00:12:12I can't have everyone appearing in like that.
00:12:14They're after me, you know.
00:12:15The police!
00:12:16No, no, income tax.
00:12:17They've got the spies everywhere.
00:12:18You have no idea what they'd stoop to nowadays.
00:12:21Right.
00:12:2214.
00:12:2312.
00:12:24Sorry, ma'am.
00:12:2513.
00:12:2612!
00:12:27Sorry, old chap, I'm a left-handed counter.
00:12:2813.
00:12:2914.
00:12:30By the way, what's the supply situation on guided missiles?
00:12:3415.
00:12:3516.
00:12:3617.
00:12:3718.
00:12:46This way.
00:12:50Hey, look!
00:12:51The safe, it's open!
00:12:52So it is!
00:12:53Whoops!
00:12:57You clutch!
00:12:58It was an accident!
00:12:59How are you?
00:13:02Now I'll have to crack it.
00:13:03Give me some light.
00:13:08Light, gentlemen.
00:13:09Is that better?
00:13:10Don't move.
00:13:11I've got you covered.
00:13:12Why, is it a space gun, then?
00:13:13Eh?
00:13:14Oh.
00:13:16One move and I'll shoot you to Compton King.
00:13:18Come.
00:13:20There are four of them, all masked.
00:13:22One's got a blunderbuss, needs a haircut.
00:13:24How dare you!
00:13:26That's his voice.
00:13:27You can probably hear him now.
00:13:28There's a stringy youth,
00:13:29one who looks as though he's an all-in wrestler.
00:13:31Attitude case.
00:13:32That's what I am.
00:13:33Shut up.
00:13:35I warn you.
00:13:37I warn you!
00:13:38Curly's getting jittery, but I don't think you'll fire.
00:13:40Hold your noise or you'll get it.
00:13:42You're bound to be able to hear him now.
00:13:43Recognise the voice.
00:13:45Ever broadcast before?
00:13:46Eh?
00:13:47You're on direct shortwave to Bow Street police station.
00:13:49New type of burglar alarm.
00:13:50They will be on their way already.
00:13:53You know what?
00:13:54We're in it again.
00:13:55Oh, shut up.
00:13:56Come on!
00:13:59Oh!
00:14:05Good.
00:14:06Well, now we can have a little supper, eh?
00:14:07You were wonderful, but why did you let them go?
00:14:10Well, we didn't want to be disturbed by a lot of coppers, did we?
00:14:13They're coming anyway.
00:14:14Oh, no, they're not.
00:14:15I made all that up on the spur of the moment.
00:14:17Not a bad idea, eh?
00:14:20Just a minute.
00:14:21I'd better get some of this stuff out of the safe
00:14:23in case somebody else gets a crack at it.
00:14:24Bottoms up.
00:14:25Cheers.
00:14:29It's okay.
00:14:42Billy, you didn't come home to dinner again.
00:14:45Sorry, old girl.
00:14:46I had to take a journalist out.
00:14:47It's always the same,
00:14:48making me economise while you go out having lavish dinners.
00:14:51But, Lucy, this is business.
00:14:52I've got to entertain.
00:14:53Besides, it's all deductible from income tax.
00:14:55It doesn't cost me a penny.
00:14:56Billy, couldn't you entertain me sometimes?
00:14:58But that wouldn't be honest.
00:15:00You know what you like about honesty?
00:15:01Cheer up, old girl.
00:15:02It won't be long before your dream comes true.
00:15:04A country house, a cook, a butler, eh?
00:15:06Am I forgiven?
00:15:07Of course.
00:15:08Would you like me to give you a hand with this?
00:15:09No, no.
00:15:10Just some papers to hide.
00:15:11I mean, put away.
00:15:12Cheer up, old girl.
00:15:13It won't be long before our ship comes in.
00:15:14Huh?
00:15:22Blimey, haven't you had enough exercise for one day?
00:15:25Here, sit.
00:15:27Eurythmic tension.
00:15:28After three months, they're like balloons.
00:15:31Balloons? Peanuts, you mean.
00:15:34Bye, fellas.
00:15:35Now, don't get up.
00:15:36Don't get up, please.
00:15:37Sit down.
00:15:38Look, I know how you feel,
00:15:39but this is the last of the fiascos.
00:15:40You said it.
00:15:41I've had enough.
00:15:42Goodbye.
00:15:43You're saying goodbye to 20,000 pounds?
00:15:44What's it this time?
00:15:45The crown jewels?
00:15:46The crown jewels?
00:15:47Bit risky, ain't it?
00:15:49Billy Gordon again.
00:15:50But this time his private house.
00:15:53Hey, fingers.
00:15:54What?
00:15:55A flyboy like that doesn't keep cash around the house.
00:15:58His missus may lay her hands on it.
00:16:00Hey, whisper.
00:16:02I'm after something more precious than money, my boy.
00:16:05I've never heard of anything more precious than money.
00:16:08Except dollars.
00:16:10If any of you halfwits could read,
00:16:11you'd know that Gordon has a daughter.
00:16:14And what about it?
00:16:15Well, work it out for yourself, Sidney.
00:16:18She's the one thing in the world he loves more than money.
00:16:25Billy.
00:16:26Look, I thought I told you I...
00:16:27Miss Angela has wonderful news.
00:16:29Daddy, meet Tommy Weston.
00:16:31Hello.
00:16:32What on earth are you doing?
00:16:33Huh?
00:16:35Smelt gas.
00:16:36Looking for a leak.
00:16:37Tommy and I are engaged.
00:16:38What?
00:16:39Well, why didn't you tell me before?
00:16:41Well, we couldn't tell you before it happened.
00:16:43Before what happened?
00:16:45Before we were engaged, sir.
00:16:47Oh.
00:16:48Can I help?
00:16:49Why, are you a gas inspector?
00:16:50No, as a matter of fact, I'm a tax inspector.
00:16:53Yeah.
00:16:55Very good.
00:16:56Oh, no, I really am.
00:17:02You're a tax...
00:17:08You're a tax inspector?
00:17:10I'm afraid so, sir.
00:17:11One of the snoops, one.
00:17:16Yes, well, I'll join you downstairs.
00:17:18I hope you approve, sir.
00:17:20Later, later.
00:17:22Did you hear that?
00:17:23A tax inspector.
00:17:25Well, he's out for a start.
00:17:26I never want to see him again.
00:17:27Billy, he's a nice young man and she loves him.
00:17:29Oh, don't be so ridiculous.
00:17:30Nobody loves a tax inspector.
00:17:31They're beyond the pale.
00:17:32It's a most honourable profession.
00:17:34Honourable? Are you kidding?
00:17:35Once and for all, I won't have a man like that in the house.
00:17:37He'd ruin any normal, decent conversation.
00:17:39Worse than a policeman or a customs officer.
00:17:42But if she...
00:17:43Look, I mean what I say.
00:17:45I'd rather entertain a thief.
00:17:47At least they're honest about what they do.
00:17:49We must case the joint properly, inside and out.
00:17:51Who sleeps where, burglar alarms, everything.
00:17:53Yeah, and where are you going to take the girl after the snatch?
00:17:56My old aunt has a little place in the country,
00:17:58just outside town on the Great North Road.
00:18:01I'll send her to Blackpool for the week.
00:18:03She'll like that.
00:18:04Who, Gordon Storer?
00:18:05No, his aunt, stupid.
00:18:07Your fingers.
00:18:08What?
00:18:09You're planning to kidnap that girl, aren't you?
00:18:11That's what I've been telling you for the last half hour.
00:18:13You know what?
00:18:14What?
00:18:15That's dangerous, that is.
00:18:16What, sending her to Blackpool?
00:18:17That's what I think.
00:18:18With anyone else, it would be dangerous, but not Gordon.
00:18:20He hates the law almost as much as we do.
00:18:22He's the one man in England who'll pay, and pay big.
00:18:27Yeah, and if something goes wrong, which it will,
00:18:29we'll get ten years.
00:18:30No, 20.
00:18:32We'll get 20 grand at least.
00:18:33The small time is over, fellas.
00:18:35Now for the big snatch.
00:18:36The crime of the century.
00:18:51Goodbye, dear.
00:18:53Bye, old girl.
00:18:54Shall we be back to supper tonight?
00:18:56But Billy, I was going to try your economy steak and kidney pie.
00:19:00You know, the one without the kidneys.
00:19:02You're going to miss that.
00:19:03You're lucky.
00:19:04I shall have to grab a sandwich to the office.
00:19:06Ta-ta.
00:19:07Ta-ta.
00:19:21Yes?
00:19:22Good morning, Bach.
00:19:24Is the mistress at home, whatever?
00:19:26I'm the mistress, but we don't want any whatever it is.
00:19:28It is from the public opinion poll of the National Soap Foundation that I am,
00:19:32who are after making a survey of the kind of soap powders
00:19:35most in use by housewives, whatever.
00:19:37Oh, no, not today.
00:19:39Thank you, most kind.
00:19:41And look you, Bach,
00:19:42I have for you a free sample of a new powder we're marketing.
00:19:45No charge to you whatsoever.
00:19:47Oh, thank you.
00:19:48My husband will be pleased.
00:19:50Oh, isn't it rather...
00:19:51Has it got some coal dust in it or something?
00:19:53Oh, bless you, Bach.
00:19:54That's a new black-white, no?
00:19:55That is the black which washes whitest, whatever.
00:19:57Whatever will they think of next?
00:19:59Yes, whatever.
00:20:00Now, how many of you are there in this dear wee house?
00:20:02Oh, just my husband, my daughter and I.
00:20:04Ah.
00:20:05Would you like a cup of tea?
00:20:06Oh, how kind.
00:20:07I had no breakfast, whatever.
00:20:09All right, come on.
00:20:10You know, I never realised that Welshmen really said
00:20:14You know, I never realised that Welshmen really said
00:20:16whatever quite so much.
00:20:18I thought it was just on the music halls.
00:20:20Oh, no truth in that, whatever.
00:20:23You have no living in domesticals?
00:20:26No, I have no help whatever.
00:20:28Oh, dear, now you've got me doing it.
00:20:31Actually, I don't mind housework.
00:20:35Whoever could that be?
00:20:36No idea whatsoever.
00:20:38Excuse me.
00:20:40Sid.
00:20:41Yeah, what?
00:20:42Your finger said to come at ten, not nine.
00:20:44Yes, sir.
00:20:45Yes?
00:20:46Yes, board ma'am.
00:20:47Yes, board ma'am.
00:20:48We wanted you.
00:20:50You did?
00:20:51Yes, my husband suspected a leak under his bedroom floorboard.
00:20:54I'll show you, come with me.
00:20:56You coming?
00:20:57Oh.
00:21:00This way, please.
00:21:01What a coincidence, eh?
00:21:02You expected us and here we are.
00:21:03And it's much colder, too.
00:21:05I said ten, not nine.
00:21:07That's what I said, but he would argue with...
00:21:13Now, if there's anything wrong, it should be under this one.
00:21:16My husband was sniffing round here.
00:21:18There'll be a cup of tea downstairs when you're done.
00:21:20That?
00:21:21Huh.
00:21:22I could do with a cup of tea.
00:21:24Looks like the old man sleeps alone.
00:21:28What are you doing?
00:21:29I'm having a look for a leak.
00:21:31And what will you do if you find one?
00:21:34Give me that.
00:21:35Stop banging around and make a noise while I sneak around,
00:21:37see if I can find out where the old lady and the daughter sleep.
00:21:41Bang! Bang! Bang!
00:21:46Whatever's that?
00:21:47They're mending a leak.
00:21:48Causing one, more likely.
00:21:50Oh, what a morning.
00:21:52Excuse me.
00:21:58Sorry, old girls.
00:21:59Forgot my key and my briefcase.
00:22:02Hello, what's that noise?
00:22:03Oh, it's only the gasman having a look under your floorboard.
00:22:05Oh.
00:22:06Whatever is going on?
00:22:07Oh, it's only my husband.
00:22:08Your husband?
00:22:09Yes, but he seems a little upset.
00:22:11Get out!
00:22:13Come on now, get out.
00:22:14Shut up.
00:22:15We've got a job to do.
00:22:16We only come to find...
00:22:17Now, look, look, look.
00:22:18Well, I want a gasman.
00:22:19I'll send for one.
00:22:20Now, go on, get out.
00:22:21That's no way to treat gasmen.
00:22:23Lies off.
00:22:26Good morning.
00:22:27I represent...
00:22:28No, you don't.
00:22:29Stop.
00:22:37Right.
00:22:38Everybody out.
00:22:43Sidney.
00:22:44Shh.
00:22:46You're dying.
00:22:47Anybody think I was a beginner?
00:22:49Coffins, urses.
00:22:50It's crazy.
00:22:51I think it's just magic, my dear.
00:22:53After all, nobody looks at earth.
00:22:55I don't care.
00:22:56I don't care.
00:22:57I don't care.
00:22:58I don't care.
00:22:59I don't care.
00:23:00I don't care.
00:23:01I don't care.
00:23:02I don't care.
00:23:03I don't care.
00:23:04I don't care.
00:23:05Nobody looks at earth.
00:23:06It's bad luck.
00:23:07Exactly.
00:23:08No one but a fool would think of using a hearse for a quick getaway.
00:23:11Now you're talking sense.
00:23:12So no one will think of stopping us.
00:23:14Right?
00:23:15On tiptoe.
00:23:16Shroud.
00:23:32Shh.
00:23:33Eurythmic tension.
00:23:39Shroud, you keep that.
00:23:43Chloroform.
00:23:45I wish you'd drink it and turn this lock up.
00:23:47I hope everything's gonna be all...
00:23:51You bore me.
00:23:52Whisper.
00:23:53Whisper.
00:23:54Come on.
00:23:58Knife.
00:24:00Oh!
00:24:01Oh!
00:24:11Why, it's your stupid barker.
00:24:15In you go.
00:24:25Clever dog. He's anestheticatised himself.
00:24:27Why didn't you tell us he had a dog?
00:24:29They didn't have.
00:24:30They must have bought him yesterday.
00:24:32Supposing he woke somebody,
00:24:34then they'd have come down, wouldn't they?
00:24:37Mashing house dogs, these.
00:24:43It's hardly human, the noise he's making.
00:24:45I do wish he'd stop it.
00:24:46Oh, go tickle him, then.
00:24:57Come on.
00:25:06This one.
00:25:08Go on.
00:25:12Go on.
00:25:13Go on.
00:25:16Go on.
00:25:29Menace.
00:25:30Shh.
00:25:31Menace.
00:25:43Menace.
00:26:13Shh.
00:26:44Well, Sidney, you are now pitocipating in the crime of the century.
00:26:50There's traffic lights ahead.
00:26:51I know, Sidney.
00:26:52And they're red.
00:27:14He's coming. Now what?
00:27:16Keep calm and look holy.
00:27:27Hey, you'd better take a look back there.
00:27:32Shut it up, you fools.
00:27:36The foot.
00:27:39The foot.
00:27:40The foot.
00:27:41The foot.
00:27:42The foot.
00:27:44The foot.
00:27:51Thank you, officer.
00:27:53What a dreadful thing.
00:27:55Hey, just a minute.
00:27:58It's a bit early for a funeral, isn't it?
00:28:00Yes, indeed.
00:28:01We're transporting him to Scotland.
00:28:06Oh, he was a policeman like yourself.
00:28:09Him?
00:28:10With that little foot?
00:28:11I'd have sworn that was a woman.
00:28:13Ah, yes.
00:28:14Well, that just shows you what a lot of nonsense is talked about the size of copper...
00:28:18Hop, hop.
00:28:19Policeman's feet.
00:28:21Thank you again, officer.
00:28:35Well, Sidney, I handled that with a master's touch.
00:28:38Master's touch my foot.
00:28:40Her foot?
00:28:42Cheer up, Sidney. We're out of the woods.
00:28:59It's not good. We'll have to push.
00:29:01Well, come on, you two get out. We'll need some eurythmic tension.
00:29:03Pull him.
00:29:04We're going to push.
00:29:05Why?
00:29:06It's quicker.
00:29:11Is the brake on?
00:29:12Of course.
00:29:13Well, take it off, you twerp.
00:29:16Stop it.
00:29:18Get out and push.
00:29:21Hold it.
00:29:31Sid, I don't think it is quicker.
00:29:34Why did he use the engine?
00:29:36Shut up and push.
00:29:37Well, go on.
00:29:44Stick it. We're nearly there.
00:29:47Right, hold it. Hold it. Hold it.
00:29:50Stop it. Stop it.
00:29:55He's running away.
00:29:57Stop. Come back.
00:29:59Stop.
00:30:01Stop.
00:30:02Get it.
00:30:03Get off.
00:30:05Get off.
00:30:13Goodbye, Mr. Davis. Now, don't worry. Cheer up.
00:30:16Everything's going to be all right.
00:30:18You never know what's around the corner.
00:30:20Thank you, Vicar.
00:30:21Goodbye.
00:30:35Oh.
00:30:37Oh.
00:30:46Have...
00:30:47Have...
00:30:51Thank you very much.
00:31:04Oh.
00:31:15Oh.
00:31:30No, no, no, no.
00:31:31The car's at it.
00:31:32What are we going to do?
00:31:33Walk.
00:31:34All the way to Melbourne?
00:31:35Till we find a car. Get round the other side.
00:31:37Right. Up.
00:31:39Now, put it on your shoulders properly.
00:31:43Why do you have to be so high?
00:31:46Right.
00:31:47Ready?
00:31:49Off we go.
00:32:00Oh.
00:32:02Oh.
00:32:18What happened to you? I've been so worried.
00:32:20We ran into a spot of bother.
00:32:22I thought you were coming by a hearse.
00:32:23We changed hearses in Mid Street.
00:32:25Treat her gently, boys.
00:32:26Gently.
00:32:27Gently.
00:32:31OK, whisper. Grab that chair. Turn it round.
00:32:33Gently, gently.
00:32:34Is she all right?
00:32:35Cool, she's all right.
00:32:36But how can she breathe?
00:32:37It's got a hole in the bottom.
00:32:41Gentlemen, I shall now produce the most valuable rabbit in history.
00:32:45A tasty little blonde worth every penny of...
00:32:58You bungling clot, you went into the wrong room.
00:33:00I told you the door on the right.
00:33:01You never. You said left. Right?
00:33:03Right. You said right.
00:33:04Oh, shut up.
00:33:05Can't you tell the difference between an old hag and a young girl of 17?
00:33:08But it was dark.
00:33:09She certainly looks older than 17.
00:33:11Oh, you mind your own business.
00:33:12Yeah, now what?
00:33:13Well, as I see it, we've got the wrong woman.
00:33:16Yes, and we carry on as planned.
00:33:19I mean, she's his wife, isn't she?
00:33:21Mm-hm.
00:33:22He'll still pay.
00:33:23He might even pay more.
00:33:25Would you?
00:33:27Well, there's no accounting for tastes.
00:33:29He's probably lost without her.
00:33:31She couldn't have walked out on me.
00:33:33After the way you shouted last night, I wouldn't blame her if she had.
00:33:36It wasn't her. It was you and that tax crook.
00:33:39Lucy! Lucy!
00:33:41Wake up, old girl. It's nine o'clock.
00:33:43Lucy! Lucy, come out!
00:33:45Can't do...
00:33:48Hello!
00:33:50Mr. Gordon?
00:33:52Yes, yes, who is it?
00:33:53Here is Mr. X.
00:33:56Mr. Who?
00:33:57Mr. X.
00:33:58But it does not matter who I am.
00:34:00Well, if it doesn't matter to you, it doesn't matter to me.
00:34:02Charlie, where could she be?
00:34:04Where do you think she is?
00:34:05Well, she may have gone to Granny's.
00:34:07I hope not.
00:34:08Why?
00:34:09Well, the fare's over a tenner, huh?
00:34:12Hello!
00:34:13What do you want?
00:34:1425,000 pounds, Mr. Gordon.
00:34:17Just a minute. Who are you?
00:34:18What the hell are you talking about?
00:34:19I am Mr. X.
00:34:21What the hell are you talking about?
00:34:22I am the head of the gang who kidnapped your wife last night.
00:34:26I am talking of the ransom I am asking for her safe return.
00:34:33I... I presume you're joking.
00:34:35This is no joke.
00:34:38No joke?
00:34:40You will not contact the police.
00:34:43One false move and she will be...
00:34:46cut up into little pieces
00:34:48and scattered up the Great North Road.
00:34:51You will obey without question the following instructions.
00:35:09Good evening.
00:35:10Good evening to you.
00:35:11I come for Mr. X.
00:35:12How do you do?
00:35:15How do you do?
00:35:17You going far?
00:35:18Oh, I mustn't say.
00:35:19Well, bound to find out.
00:35:21Oh, no.
00:35:22The chauffeur's been given instructions to drive around in circles, actually.
00:35:25Yeah.
00:35:47What's the matter?
00:35:48So many blooming circles, I lost me way.
00:35:51Charlie.
00:35:52What do you mean by that?
00:35:56Tell you, this Mr. X, he must be a very big fellow.
00:36:00Oh, no, he's not all that big.
00:36:01Oh, I see what you mean.
00:36:03Oh, yes, he only handles the big jobs.
00:36:06Oh, sorry.
00:36:07Tell me, why do you wear that veil?
00:36:09So that you'll never recognize me again.
00:36:13That's very good.
00:36:15Very good.
00:36:16Take my advice, next time wear a cape.
00:36:21Be careful of the steps.
00:36:23Better let me go down first.
00:36:29I fell down.
00:36:32You all right?
00:36:33Yeah.
00:36:34Come this way, please.
00:36:39Here, sit down.
00:36:40Don't lean against the back.
00:36:42Why not?
00:36:43Because there is no back.
00:37:03Mr. Gordon.
00:37:05Good day.
00:37:06Mr. X.
00:37:08I'm sorry I cannot introduce myself by name.
00:37:11Try to be seated.
00:37:13Well, I am, aren't I?
00:37:18Just so.
00:37:23Relax, Mr. Gordon.
00:37:25Do not be afraid.
00:37:26I'm not, thanks.
00:37:27Do not be too sure of it.
00:37:29Oh, I'm quite certain.
00:37:30Do not be too sure you need not be afraid, I mean.
00:37:33I thought you told me not to be, old man.
00:37:35We have never crossed swords before, Mr. Gordon.
00:37:40But if we had.
00:37:42Just a minute.
00:37:43Aren't you the long-haired chap who tried to rob my safe?
00:37:46I recognize your voice.
00:37:48No.
00:37:50Was he a, how you say, a foreigner?
00:37:53No, a cockney like you.
00:37:57No, Mr. Gordon.
00:37:59It was not I.
00:38:01I never file, you see.
00:38:03I never file, you see.
00:38:05You have heard, perhaps, of the Delvin diamond robbery.
00:38:08Uh-huh.
00:38:09The Stettin killings.
00:38:11The Worthingtonk murders.
00:38:14You?
00:38:15Your humble servant.
00:38:17Oh, but the smell of that cigar, you're not doing very well out of it.
00:38:20What is it, a Congo rat?
00:38:21Who's your accountant?
00:38:25Enough of this idle chatter.
00:38:30Do you know my terms?
00:38:32Yes.
00:38:3325,000 pounds or you cut my wife up into little pieces
00:38:37and scatter her all up the Great North Road.
00:38:41Precisely.
00:38:42I take it you have brought the money?
00:38:44No.
00:38:46Splendid.
00:38:47Splendid.
00:38:48Then we need only...
00:38:50What did you say?
00:38:51No.
00:38:52None.
00:38:53Nine.
00:38:54Neats.
00:38:55In fact, nuts.
00:38:56Not a sausage.
00:38:58Cut her up, old boy.
00:38:59This is a chance I've been waiting for for years.
00:39:01You're bluffing.
00:39:03Well, you think I am?
00:39:05Well, I'm not and I hope you're not.
00:39:07This is the answer to a bachelor's prayer.
00:39:09You can't do this to me.
00:39:11To her.
00:39:12She's a fine woman.
00:39:14Well, you have her.
00:39:16I don't want her.
00:39:17Well, you took her, old man.
00:39:19Don't blame me.
00:39:21It's disgusting.
00:39:23It's immoral.
00:39:25We'll cut her into pieces.
00:39:26Tiny little pieces.
00:39:28Well, naturally you want to make a good job of it, won't you?
00:39:31Well, you really must excuse me.
00:39:33I've got a date.
00:39:34Rather a promising one, actually.
00:39:35Oh, talk about that, Mr. X.
00:39:37You are rather a nice little bit of ex-certificate here, eh?
00:39:43All right.
00:39:44All right.
00:39:45You win.
00:39:46I like a fighter, Mr. Gordon.
00:39:48I'll take 10,000.
00:39:49Not a penny less.
00:39:50Not a penny, old fool.
00:39:52I told you.
00:39:53All right.
00:39:54All right.
00:39:555,000.
00:39:56That's my final offer.
00:39:575,000 or we slice.
00:39:59No dice.
00:40:00Start slicing, old fool.
00:40:01Now, really, I must be going.
00:40:03If you like, I'll find my own way.
00:40:054,000 and she's yours.
00:40:07She's yours?
00:40:08For nothing.
00:40:12Sid.
00:40:13Snowdrop.
00:40:15Take him away.
00:40:16Take him away.
00:40:17Take him away.
00:40:18Take him home.
00:40:19I've only just brought him.
00:40:20Go on.
00:40:22Well, Auf Wiedersehen, Herr X.
00:40:27That swine has ruined my faith in human nature.
00:40:58No.
00:41:24All right?
00:41:25Any luck?
00:41:26You know what?
00:41:27He asked too much.
00:41:28Old Fingers did his best.
00:41:29He came down from 25,000 to 4,000.
00:41:31He can't do fairer than that.
00:41:33What did he say then?
00:41:34He said he didn't want her.
00:41:35We could keep her.
00:41:36That it was the chance of a lifetime
00:41:37where we could go ahead and cut her in pieces.
00:41:39Tiny little pieces.
00:41:40It is hard to believe that such an unhuman devil could exist.
00:41:44A beast in human garbage.
00:41:45That's what he is.
00:41:47Go and see if she wants anything to eat.
00:41:50Hey, Fingers.
00:41:51What?
00:41:52She won't like this, you know.
00:41:54She expected him to pay.
00:41:55Yeah, what are we going to do with her?
00:41:56Keep her as a pet?
00:41:57Well, we'll just have to cut her up.
00:42:01Oh.
00:42:04Fingers!
00:42:05What?
00:42:06She heard every single word we said.
00:42:08She refuses to eat.
00:42:09She says she wants to die.
00:42:10Die?
00:42:11No, she can't do this to me.
00:42:13Wait a minute.
00:42:14Shut up.
00:42:15What? I was just fooling something.
00:42:16No, no, no, no.
00:42:19Don't take on so.
00:42:21We'll be liberating you soon.
00:42:23I don't want to go.
00:42:24I just want to die.
00:42:28You may as well kill me now.
00:42:30Well, I'm not going to.
00:42:32What do you take me for?
00:42:33Then I'll kill myself.
00:42:36No, no.
00:42:37No, no, no.
00:42:38You mustn't do that.
00:42:39That's very selfish.
00:42:41You must think of others.
00:42:45Here, boss.
00:42:46Stay there and keep an eye on her.
00:42:47Yeah, but listen.
00:42:48Do as you're told.
00:42:49She mustn't be out of someone's sight until we set her free.
00:42:51Yeah, but that's what I've been trying to tell you.
00:42:53We can't set her free.
00:42:55See, you've been in there without your masks on,
00:42:58and she's seen your faces.
00:43:02He's right.
00:43:03We might as well drop her to Scotland Yard.
00:43:06The crime of the century.
00:43:08Well, Einstein, now what?
00:43:10Well, Gordon will have to be made to pay, that's all.
00:43:13But who's going to make him?
00:43:14Well, I should have thought his conscience would make him.
00:43:16Conscience? He wouldn't give a fart into a starving beggar.
00:43:18Oh, I don't know. He's not...
00:43:22Yes.
00:43:26Thank you, Sid.
00:43:28Yes.
00:43:29I'll go and see him tomorrow.
00:43:34He's got another idea.
00:43:35A marvellous brain that boy's got.
00:43:37Yeah.
00:43:38Yeah, you too.
00:43:39Do you think so?
00:43:52Better go in first. It'll look better.
00:43:54Anything you say, Mr Gordon.
00:43:56What a secrecy.
00:43:58Darling.
00:44:10Here, Governor.
00:44:12Here.
00:44:13Your books, your matches.
00:44:14No, thanks. I've got a lighter.
00:44:15Here.
00:44:16Here.
00:44:17I've got a message.
00:44:19From Mr X.
00:44:22Just a minute.
00:44:23You are Mr X?
00:44:24No.
00:44:25No.
00:44:26I wouldn't have recognised you except for the voice.
00:44:27Here.
00:44:28He sends his last offer.
00:44:30200 quid and she's yours.
00:44:32200 quid?
00:44:34Well, the bottom has fallen out of the market, hasn't it?
00:44:36What's the other one? She was damaged in transit?
00:44:38Look, I'll tell you what I'll do.
00:44:39Give me a second.
00:44:40You buy yourself a cup of tea, eh?
00:44:44Box of matches, please.
00:44:46I'll get out of it.
00:44:48Morning, Charlie.
00:44:49Morning, sir.
00:44:50Oh.
00:44:51Oh, well, never mind.
00:44:53Charlie, look.
00:44:54Daddy.
00:44:55Darling, what are you doing here?
00:44:56I want to see you.
00:44:57You didn't come home last night.
00:44:59No, no, I spent the night in a Turkish bath.
00:45:01Was it mixed bathing?
00:45:03You still have some lipstick on your ear.
00:45:04What?
00:45:05Oh, paint.
00:45:06I must know what's going on.
00:45:08Where's Mother?
00:45:09Look, we can't discuss it here.
00:45:10Don't worry, she'll be back in a couple of days.
00:45:11What's the...
00:45:12Charlie, you know Charlie, don't you?
00:45:13Charlie, is that a raising of dishes?
00:45:14No, sir.
00:45:15I'll give you a tip.
00:45:16My tips have been coming up these days.
00:45:17What is it?
00:45:18Spago and the 230 Italian.
00:45:19Very strong, very fast.
00:45:20What's the price?
00:45:21It's the latest edition, yes?
00:45:22Yes, sir.
00:45:33You swine!
00:45:34You killed my wife!
00:45:35I'll take them both!
00:45:36Oh!
00:45:37Sorry.
00:45:38Now, there's a mistake.
00:45:39What's going on?
00:45:40He attacked Megan.
00:45:41I'll charge him with assault.
00:45:42But, officer, it's a mistake.
00:45:43Come on, a pair of you.
00:45:44Come on.
00:45:48Smells marvellous, doesn't it?
00:45:49Lovely.
00:45:50There.
00:45:51Is that all?
00:45:52Perhaps you like the old goose.
00:45:53Oh.
00:45:54Do you mind?
00:45:55You guys are bigger than these.
00:45:56Got enough there for two as it is.
00:45:58When I was in training,
00:45:59I used to eat four times as much.
00:46:01Hello.
00:46:02Ah, well.
00:46:04Good, you're just in time for lunch.
00:46:06Hi, fellas.
00:46:07Don't get up.
00:46:08Hey, Fingers, how'd you get on?
00:46:10I made three and a tenner.
00:46:11Oh, that's not bad.
00:46:13How long was you staying in there?
00:46:14By God, on your twerp.
00:46:16Hello.
00:46:17What's she doing here?
00:46:18Put that knife down.
00:46:19Oh, sit down.
00:46:20Well, she...
00:46:21She can't eat with us.
00:46:22She's a prisoner.
00:46:23We can keep an eye on her this way.
00:46:25She's also served us a very good lunch.
00:46:26Just leave her alone.
00:46:28I'm glad somebody has some manners.
00:46:29Well, what happened this morning?
00:46:31As if we couldn't guess.
00:46:34She's not going to like this,
00:46:36but her Billy's making hay with the secretary.
00:46:39Should have seen him this morning,
00:46:40kissing her in the car.
00:46:42She's wearing a mink stong,
00:46:43great big sparkler on her finger.
00:46:46Yeah, well, never mind about that.
00:46:47What did he say to your offer?
00:46:48What do you think he said?
00:46:50He's having the time of his life.
00:46:53I knew it.
00:46:54You ask too much.
00:46:55Too much?
00:46:56200 pounds?
00:46:57200 pounds?
00:46:59He laughed in me face and gave me throppins.
00:47:01Hey, Fingers, not floppins.
00:47:03I mean, floppins.
00:47:05No.
00:47:06I call it downright insulting
00:47:07to offer at a knockdown price like that.
00:47:09So do I.
00:47:11It has nothing to do with you.
00:47:13Hasn't it?
00:47:14It's me you're selling, isn't it?
00:47:16Yes, and I shall sell you for any price I like.
00:47:18Oh, no, you won't.
00:47:20Just listen to me, you little squirt.
00:47:25Oh, nobody calls me a little squirt
00:47:28and gets away with it.
00:47:29Steady, Fingers, she didn't mean it.
00:47:31Yes, I did.
00:47:35Oh.
00:47:36I see I'll have to teach you a little lesson.
00:47:39Wait.
00:47:45Oh, Fingers.
00:47:48Cor, what a beauty.
00:47:50Where did you learn that?
00:47:52The army.
00:47:54Would anyone else want to teach me a lesson?
00:47:56I was only going to ask you to show me how you did it.
00:47:59I just did.
00:48:00Snowdrop, come here.
00:48:06Help me put him to bed.
00:48:08Cor, what a beauty.
00:48:09Classic, that's what it was.
00:48:10Yes, yes, yes.
00:48:11Go on, Whisper.
00:48:12Guard the door.
00:48:13Yes, you, Hercules.
00:48:17I'll warn you, Ma.
00:48:18I'll never miss.
00:48:19How could he?
00:48:20Oh, how could he?
00:48:21I could kill him for this.
00:48:22Kill him.
00:48:23He'll kill you when he wakes up.
00:48:25I wasn't thinking of that, squirt.
00:48:26Cor, I want to simmer down.
00:48:27On one condition, I'm prepared to release you now.
00:48:30Why?
00:48:31Why?
00:48:32Because the rest of us don't want to face a murder rap, that's why.
00:48:34Even Superman in air might commit murder after what you've just done.
00:48:36Oh, him.
00:48:37Look, you give me your word of honor, not to split to the cops,
00:48:39and you can go.
00:48:40Go?
00:48:41Where?
00:48:42Home.
00:48:43That's right, home.
00:48:44To a man who told you to kill me,
00:48:46who wouldn't even give 200 pounds to get me back.
00:48:50What sort of a home is that?
00:48:51Now, come on, we've got to be quick if we're going to release you.
00:48:53If you release me, I warn you, I shall go straight to the police.
00:48:57No.
00:48:58I'm going to stay here.
00:49:00Don't be stupid.
00:49:01Now you've got to judge him.
00:49:02I was stupid.
00:49:03I've slaved, even starved for him, because I loved him.
00:49:07And I thought he loved me.
00:49:09And this is my reward.
00:49:11Well, now I have a chance to get my own back.
00:49:13And by heaven, I'm going to take it.
00:49:16You want Billy Gordon's money, don't you?
00:49:17Yeah.
00:49:18So do I.
00:49:19The only difference between us is that I know how to get it, and you don't.
00:49:23You interested?
00:49:25Are you interested?
00:49:27Do you mean you want to come in with us?
00:49:28Oh, no.
00:49:29You come in with me.
00:49:32I lent him 500 pounds to start his fortune.
00:49:35So I reckon I'm entitled to half of everything he has.
00:49:38Don't you?
00:49:39What exactly are you getting at?
00:49:40We'll split 50-50 on everything I lead you to.
00:49:44And I think I can lead you to a lot.
00:49:47Is it a deal?
00:49:50Well, as I see it, I think...
00:49:51Yeah, I am. Go on.
00:49:53We start by going to my house.
00:49:55That's where the first lot is.
00:50:10If my guess is correct, the money's under the floorboards here.
00:50:13You're kidding.
00:50:14Wanna bet?
00:50:16We could have had that while we were playing the Gas Men.
00:50:18Yeah. Come on, give me the jimmy.
00:50:25At a cap it all, the customer has pitched all those Tommy guns.
00:50:27Cost me 25,000 quid.
00:50:29Poor old Billy.
00:50:30Just in the minute when I wanted every penny for that surplus sugar deal.
00:50:33Well, you've still got plenty left.
00:50:34Yeah, but not enough.
00:50:35You see, I've got some hidden in the house, I've got some in the safe,
00:50:38but it still isn't enough.
00:50:40Darling.
00:50:41You wouldn't like to lend me your jewelry, would you?
00:50:43Oh, no.
00:50:44But, Beryl...
00:50:45Look here, I've had to work hard enough to get it out of you.
00:50:47Work?
00:50:48Yes, hard.
00:50:49Beryl, it would only be a temper.
00:50:51No.
00:50:53I'm very disappointed in you.
00:50:55No loyalty to the firm.
00:50:57No loyalty at all.
00:50:58Where are you going?
00:50:59I'm going to the office.
00:51:00But you're gonna take me out to dinner.
00:51:02I can't afford it.
00:51:03You can't afford it?
00:51:05Sorry.
00:51:08Must be 20 grand here at least.
00:51:10A pity there isn't more.
00:51:11Can you see his face when he comes here looking for the money and there it is, gone?
00:51:14Yes, I'm sorry to be missing that.
00:51:16That's the lot.
00:51:17Oh, I could kiss you for this.
00:51:18Yes, I bet you could.
00:51:19Look at that.
00:51:20Come on, we've got work to do.
00:51:32This should fix that two-timer.
00:51:39Poor little Lucy.
00:51:41She didn't deserve such a fate.
00:51:44Never an unkind word.
00:51:46Never a dirty trick.
00:51:48Poor little...
00:51:54Hello?
00:51:55Mr. Gordon, it's me.
00:51:57It's me.
00:51:59It's me.
00:52:01It's me.
00:52:03It's me.
00:52:05It's me.
00:52:06Hello?
00:52:07Mr. Gordon?
00:52:09I'm in here.
00:52:10Tommy Weston here.
00:52:12Tommy, Angela's...
00:52:14Look here, sir, you'd better come right away.
00:52:16Your house is on fire.
00:52:17What?
00:52:19What?
00:52:20I'm in the telephone box just opposite the house.
00:52:22It looks pretty bad, sir.
00:52:23We've called the brigade.
00:52:25Tell you what to do.
00:52:26Come to my bedroom.
00:52:27Look after...
00:52:28Oh, no.
00:52:29No, don't.
00:52:31Why do you have to be a tax man?
00:52:37Oh, there you are.
00:52:38Sir, is this your car?
00:52:39Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:52:40Are you aware it's been parked on the wrong side of the road
00:52:42with no lights on?
00:52:43I must insist...
00:52:44Oh, get out.
00:52:45Get out.
00:52:46Oh.
00:52:47Oh.
00:52:48Oh.
00:52:49Oh.
00:52:50Oh.
00:52:51Oh.
00:52:52Oh.
00:52:53Oh.
00:52:54Oh.
00:52:55Oh.
00:52:56Oh.
00:52:57Oh.
00:52:58Oh.
00:52:59Oh.
00:53:00Oh.
00:53:01Oh.
00:53:02Oh.
00:53:03Oh.
00:53:04Oh.
00:53:05Oh.
00:53:06Oh.
00:53:07Oh.
00:53:08Oh.
00:53:09Oh.
00:53:10Oh.
00:53:11Oh.
00:53:12Oh.
00:53:13Oh.
00:53:14Oh, Daddy!
00:53:15Graciously, Scot!
00:53:16Wilson!
00:53:17Get in there and get him out.
00:53:18Yes, sir.
00:53:19Is he mad?
00:53:20I can't think of what he's doing.
00:53:21He knows there's no one there.
00:53:22Daddy!
00:53:23Are you alright?
00:53:24Are you...
00:53:25Daddy!
00:53:26Daddy!
00:53:27Daddy, are you all right?
00:53:34Are you...
00:53:35Oh!
00:53:36Is he mad?
00:53:37Wilson, get in there, get him out, and hold him this time.
00:53:42He must be mad.
00:53:43Marino!
00:53:44Marino!
00:53:45Marino!
00:53:46Are you quite sure there's nobody else inside?
00:53:52Quite.
00:53:53Look!
00:53:54He's up there now.
00:53:55Now, look, sir, you're causing a great deal of...
00:53:56Stop him!
00:53:57Stop that maniac!
00:53:58Daddy, for heaven's sake!
00:53:59You haven't heard the last of this.
00:54:00I'm going to have you charred!
00:54:01Daddy, what is it?
00:54:02Bobby.
00:54:03Bobby!
00:54:04Bobby!
00:54:05Bobby!
00:54:06Bobby!
00:54:07Bobby!
00:54:08Bobby!
00:54:09Bobby!
00:54:10Bobby!
00:54:11Bobby!
00:54:12Bobby!
00:54:13Bobby!
00:54:15Mommy!
00:54:16Oh, I wish I was dead too.
00:54:17Wish you got some smashing stuff here.
00:54:18She did all right.
00:54:19Yes, she did all right, all right.
00:54:20That must be worth a couple of thousand.
00:54:21Yes, and this,
00:54:22To the love of my life, Billy.
00:54:23Billy!
00:54:24It's見つけたんだな.
00:54:25It's 見つけたんだな.
00:54:26You're kidding.
00:54:27It's見つけたんだな.
00:54:28Billy!
00:54:29It's見つけたんだな.
00:54:30Billy!
00:54:31It's見つけたんだな.
00:54:32Billy!
00:54:33Billy!
00:54:34Billy!
00:54:35Billy!
00:54:36Billy!
00:54:37Billy!
00:54:38Billy!
00:54:39Billy!
00:54:40Billy!
00:54:41The love of my life, Billy.
00:54:45She has him right.
00:54:48Out! Winker!
00:54:56Anybody there?
00:54:59Who's there?
00:55:02Billy?
00:55:04No!
00:55:08It's...
00:55:10First!
00:55:12Beryl.
00:55:14Beryl.
00:55:15Guess what's happened now.
00:55:17You want me to guess, eh?
00:55:19What?
00:55:20Well, I don't want to guess!
00:55:21What's happened?
00:55:22You organized that, you filthy little swine!
00:55:24Get out of my house!
00:55:25What are you doing, Beryl?
00:55:26I never want to see you again, ever!
00:55:32Hey, Snowdrop.
00:55:34What?
00:55:35How did you develop your muscles?
00:55:38I don't know. They developed themselves.
00:55:41How much did you weigh when you were born?
00:55:44Eighteen ounces.
00:55:46Here they said I was a miracle.
00:55:48They said I should never have been born.
00:55:51But I was.
00:55:53What's the time, then?
00:55:55The big hand's on the three,
00:55:57and the little hand's on the twelve.
00:55:59Quarter past twelve. Are you short-sighted?
00:56:01No, I'm worried.
00:56:02They should have been back by now.
00:56:04How's your head, boss?
00:56:06Where is she? Let me get her.
00:56:08Where's my gun? Where's my knife?
00:56:10I'll cut her in pieces. I'll shoot her to bits.
00:56:12Where is she?
00:56:13Nowhere. She'll be back. Right, Snowdrop?
00:56:15I said, where is she?
00:56:17Here they are now.
00:56:19That's right.
00:56:21Lucy, you look beautiful.
00:56:24Where did you get them?
00:56:26Evening. How's the bonce?
00:56:27May I be permitted to know where you've been?
00:56:29Getting a few household needs.
00:56:30Didn't they close ninth round here, then?
00:56:33Oh, it's a joke.
00:56:36That's very kind of you, I'm sure.
00:56:38I'm so glad you approve.
00:56:39Boss, wait till you see.
00:56:41I'm not interested.
00:56:42Oh, we'll keep you to that.
00:56:45It's all in five hundreds.
00:56:47One for Lucy, one for us.
00:56:49Hands off. This has nothing to do with you.
00:56:53Lucy, us.
00:56:58Mr. Gordon.
00:56:59Mr. Wilkins here alleges that after the assault you said,
00:57:02you swine, you killed my wife, I'll slit your throat.
00:57:05Is that true?
00:57:06No, that isn't true. I didn't say that.
00:57:08I said, you swine, you got a knife, you slit my coat.
00:57:13You said what?
00:57:14Your Honour, I mistook this old beggar,
00:57:17this old gentleman here for a pickpocket who robbed me.
00:57:20Had you any reason to believe that either the beggar or Mr. Wilkins
00:57:23had murdered your wife?
00:57:24Oh, no. None at all, Your Honour.
00:57:27Well, then how then do you explain saying,
00:57:29you killed my wife?
00:57:31I...
00:57:36I didn't say that, Your Honour.
00:57:37Well, then what did you say?
00:57:40Well, I said, you ruined my wife.
00:57:43You mean that old gentleman ruined your wife?
00:57:47I've never looked at a woman for 40 years.
00:57:52No, Your Honour, I didn't mean that.
00:57:54I meant life, my life.
00:57:57Then say what you mean.
00:57:58Thank you very much, Mr. Gordon.
00:57:59But do you see, Your Honour, I...
00:58:00Thank you, Mr. Gordon. Thank you.
00:58:01...my overall condition.
00:58:04My client can only express a deep regret for the assault, Your Worship,
00:58:07but I trust this explanation will satisfy you
00:58:09that it was a genuine mistake under extreme provocation.
00:58:13It doesn't.
00:58:15Mr. Gordon is obviously lying and obviously too he hit the wrong man.
00:58:18Anything known?
00:58:20Nothing known, sir.
00:58:21Fine five pounds.
00:58:22And keep out of trouble in future.
00:58:24Thank you, Your Honour, but I...
00:58:25This way.
00:58:30Slit your coat, you liar!
00:58:32Number 14 on your list, sir.
00:58:34William Delaney Gordon.
00:58:41Back again.
00:58:52William Delaney Gordon,
00:58:53you're charged with using insulting behaviour
00:58:55whereby a breach of the peace may have been attempted
00:58:57at Blade and Drive, London, on the night of May the 16th.
00:59:00Do you plead guilty or not guilty?
00:59:02Not guilty.
00:59:03Absolutely not guilty.
00:59:04Well, it was my fire.
00:59:05I'm surely entitled to do what I...
00:59:08I swear by almighty God,
00:59:09the evidence I give shall be the truth, the old truth,
00:59:11and nothing but the truth.
00:59:12James Smith, Police Constable 166, S Division, Your Worship.
00:59:15At 9pm on the 16th inst, I was giving assistance at a fire.
00:59:18Despite protest, the accused dived twice into the building
00:59:21and had to be brought out.
00:59:23When he attempted the third time,
00:59:24I tackled him from behind and received him full in the stomach,
00:59:27whereupon we struggled on the ground.
00:59:29He was hysterical and said,
00:59:32Mummy, oh, Mummy,
00:59:34I wish I was dead too.
00:59:36He addressed you as Mummy.
00:59:40I don't know, Your Worship.
00:59:42I took him to the station where he was charged and cautioned
00:59:44and he said,
00:59:45give me a ruddy rope and I'll hang myself now.
00:59:49No one in their right mind would address you as Mummy.
00:59:52I put it to you that you misheard.
00:59:54Mr Gordon's daughter asked him why he dashed into the fire.
00:59:57He replied, Bunny.
01:00:00She, mishearing him, exclaimed, Money.
01:00:04And he said, Bunny, no, Bunny.
01:00:07I wish I was dead too.
01:00:08No, no, no, no. Wait, wait, wait.
01:00:10You allegedly went, Money, no, Bunny.
01:00:15Wait, wait. You allegedly went,
01:00:17Money, Mummy, and Bunny, oh, Bunny.
01:00:21No, sir, no, sir.
01:00:22Bunny, Money, and Bunny, no, Bunny.
01:00:26No Mummy at all.
01:00:28Bunny, Money, and Bunny, oh, Bunny.
01:00:32No, sir, no, sir.
01:00:33Bunny, no, Bunny.
01:00:35Not, oh, Bunny.
01:00:36Oh.
01:00:38Bunny, oh, really, does it matter?
01:00:40Very much, Your Worship.
01:00:42Excuse me, sir.
01:00:43It was Money.
01:00:44Mummy and Mummy.
01:00:46No Bunny was mentioned in my hearing.
01:00:49Mr Gordon had a cold.
01:00:51What? What's that got to do with it?
01:00:53With a cold in the nose, Money sounds like Bunny.
01:00:57I've lost a load of Buddy.
01:00:59The truth is, as my client will testify,
01:01:01he mentioned neither Money nor Mummy, but Bunny.
01:01:04He's Budgerigar.
01:01:07And I should like you to note, Your Worship,
01:01:09that my client's feathered friend was lost on that fateful night.
01:01:13I should like to call Mr Gorth.
01:01:15Where are we going?
01:01:16I'm getting you out of there before they call you as a witness.
01:01:19Why?
01:01:20Well, did you ever own a Budgerigar called Bunny?
01:01:24No.
01:01:25I thought so.
01:01:26And what did you hear your father say at the fire?
01:01:28Yes, he did say Mummy.
01:01:29Exactly.
01:01:30And by the way, where is your mother?
01:01:32Oh, Tommy, I wish I knew.
01:01:34All right, don't worry about it.
01:01:35That's what we're going to find out now.
01:01:38When you arrived to find your home in flames,
01:01:40what was your first thought?
01:01:41My canary.
01:01:42My canary.
01:01:43Parrot.
01:01:44Budgerigar.
01:01:45Kindly don't answer your own questions.
01:01:48But, Your Honour, a Budgerigar is a species of parrot.
01:01:51Now, stop it.
01:01:53When forcibly restrained from your rescue attempt,
01:01:55what did you cry out?
01:01:57I cried out the name of the bird.
01:02:02Pinky.
01:02:05Bonzi?
01:02:06Bunny.
01:02:07Oh, Bunny.
01:02:08Bunny.
01:02:09Really, this is all highly improper.
01:02:10Very well, no.
01:02:11You must not prompt your own witness.
01:02:13Any questions?
01:02:14No, Your Worship.
01:02:15I'm extremely sorry, Your Honour,
01:02:17but my one thought was to save the little bird
01:02:19from perishing in the flames.
01:02:21Thank you. Thank you, Mr. Gordon.
01:02:22Thank you very much.
01:02:24Your Worship, I'm quite sure that you realise
01:02:26that this whole affair, this entire business,
01:02:28is due to a misunderstanding.
01:02:29Yes, quite so, yes.
01:02:32I am persuaded that you were probably trying to rescue
01:02:34something much more valuable than a bird,
01:02:36and that is money,
01:02:37spelled C-A-S-H.
01:02:39Cash.
01:02:40Find £10.
01:02:43Cash.
01:02:46Thank you, Your Honour, and believe me...
01:02:48I shan't believe you, Mr. Gordon.
01:02:49Go away.
01:02:50I've seen and heard quite enough of you for one day.
01:02:52Next case, please.
01:02:53Well, that's a pity, because...
01:02:54Come along.
01:02:58Number 15 on your list, sir.
01:03:00William Delaney Gordon.
01:03:09What?
01:03:30William Delaney Gordon,
01:03:31you are charged with causing unnecessary obstruction
01:03:33with your car at Aster Street on May the 16th,
01:03:36and further with assaulting Police Constable Clutter
01:03:38whilst in the execution of his duty.
01:03:45You plead guilty or not guilty?
01:03:46Not guilty.
01:03:49I swear by Almighty God that the evidence I give
01:03:51shall be the truth, the whole truth,
01:03:52and nothing but the truth.
01:04:00Listen, listen, listen to this.
01:04:02I was trying to rescue my budgerigar, I think.
01:04:06Oh, poor little budgerigar.
01:04:09I almost feel sorry for the fella.
01:04:11Yeah, he must be wondering what hit him.
01:04:14Nice to see you in such fine spirits, fellas.
01:04:21You going to help me change that wheel, Snowdrop?
01:04:23Yeah.
01:04:24I never saw no budgerigar in that house.
01:04:26Oh, come on.
01:04:28What wheel?
01:04:29Oh, get out of it.
01:04:33Whisper.
01:04:34Looks like we struck it rich at last, eh?
01:04:36Yes.
01:04:37Yes.
01:04:38Yes.
01:04:39You know what?
01:04:40What?
01:04:41I guess Lucy did us proud, eh?
01:04:42Lucy.
01:04:43Lucy!
01:04:45Lucy.
01:04:46Good morning.
01:04:52What are you staring at?
01:04:53Where did you get that hair?
01:04:55Out of a bottle.
01:04:57Same as your girlfriend.
01:04:58Well, you go and put it back again.
01:04:59How am I going to send you home looking like the dog's dinner?
01:05:02You're not.
01:05:03I'm going to stay here.
01:05:05Oh, yes, I am.
01:05:06You organised those raids last night,
01:05:08so you can't threaten us no more.
01:05:11If you know what's good for you...
01:05:12Do you remember what happened the last time you threatened me,
01:05:15sonny boy?
01:05:17What's the matter with you?
01:05:19You've got half the money.
01:05:21I'm willing to set you free.
01:05:23What more do you want?
01:05:24I'll tell you.
01:05:26I haven't finished with Billy Gordon yet.
01:05:28Did you read about that woman murdered on the Great North Road?
01:05:31Yes.
01:05:32Disgusting.
01:05:33It didn't give you an idea.
01:05:34Why should it?
01:05:36It's got nothing to do with me.
01:05:37No, but Billy thinks it's me.
01:05:39He reckons I'm dead and that you did it.
01:05:41Ah, he's barmy.
01:05:42I wouldn't do a thing like that.
01:05:46Here.
01:05:47I've just had a smashing idea.
01:05:49If he thinks that, we could blackmail him.
01:05:51You're a genius.
01:05:52Yes, I am.
01:05:54What a turn-up.
01:05:55He can't fail.
01:05:56It can if it's left to you.
01:05:57Let me do the thinking and we may have some fun.
01:05:59Now, the first thing you're going to do, little old poncleroy,
01:06:02is to have your hair cut,
01:06:03if you're going to carry out the plan that I have in mind.
01:06:05I'm not going to have my hair cut.
01:06:07Oh, yes, you are.
01:06:08Oh, no.
01:06:21Daddy.
01:06:22Oh, hello, darling.
01:06:24Daddy, where is Mommy?
01:06:26Um, she's gone away.
01:06:29The truth is, she's abroad.
01:06:31I'm sorry, sir.
01:06:32We just can't accept that.
01:06:33I don't give a damn what you accept.
01:06:34Nothing to do with you.
01:06:35That's where you're wrong, sir.
01:06:36Now, look, why don't you stick to income tax
01:06:37and keep your nose out of my business?
01:06:38I'm afraid it's too late for that now, sir.
01:06:40I married Angela yesterday.
01:06:42What?
01:06:43And I shall stick to income tax
01:06:45and keep my nose in your business.
01:06:46I'm now the inspector in charge of your files.
01:06:51Now, look, old son.
01:06:52There's no mystery about this, you know.
01:06:54I mean, you and I can just have a little chat.
01:06:56Hmm?
01:06:59Mr. Gordon?
01:07:02Yes?
01:07:03Yes?
01:07:06Take it off.
01:07:08I hope you'll forgive us barging in like this,
01:07:10but the outer door was open.
01:07:11I'm Inspector Wainwright of Scotland Yard,
01:07:13and this is Sergeant Sykes.
01:07:14Just a small routine matter, sir.
01:07:16Do you mind if I speak in front of your friends?
01:07:18Look, I'll see you later and explain everything.
01:07:20And not to worry.
01:07:21I...
01:07:22We won't detain you very long, sir.
01:07:26Detain me?
01:07:28Yeah, I mean, sir.
01:07:33Of course not.
01:07:35Of course not.
01:07:36Certain statements attributed to you.
01:07:38Of course, some speculation as to the whereabouts of Mrs. Gordon.
01:07:43Hmm?
01:07:45Mrs. Gordon.
01:07:47Oh!
01:07:48Mrs. Gordon.
01:07:49Yes, um...
01:07:51Well, she left a few days ago.
01:07:53After a quarrel.
01:07:57Ah.
01:08:03Then there is no question of her having disappeared.
01:08:05Eh?
01:08:06Oh, rather not.
01:08:07Good Lord, no.
01:08:08No, we're in daily contact.
01:08:10On the telephone.
01:08:12I see.
01:08:18Oh, well, there it is, then. Gossip.
01:08:21Nasty thing, that gossip.
01:08:23All right, Sykes, I'll go on to Tottenham.
01:08:25You go back to the yard and report that the Gordon fight is clear.
01:08:27Very good, sir.
01:08:28Oh, uh, we're investigating that very, very gruesome Great North Road murder, you know.
01:08:35Good day, sir.
01:08:37Good day.
01:08:45Phew.
01:08:46Hmm.
01:08:59You've forgotten something?
01:09:02No, sir.
01:09:03I haven't forgotten something.
01:09:06But you have.
01:09:08Haven't you, sir?
01:09:10Something wrong with your eye?
01:09:11No, sir.
01:09:12They tell me it's pretty sharp.
01:09:14Why does it keep winking, then?
01:09:16A nod is as good as a wink to a blind horse.
01:09:19A nod? What does that mean?
01:09:21That's an old Latin quotation.
01:09:23And it means, is this your old woman's nightie?
01:09:28It was found by the body on the Great North Road.
01:09:31And the underworld grapevine says that you instructed a gang to do her in.
01:09:36That's a lie!
01:09:37Is it?
01:09:38Oh, you told the inspector some whoppers just now, didn't you, sir?
01:09:42Here.
01:09:43Supposing he wanted to meet your missus,
01:09:45you'd have a bit of a job finding the bits, wouldn't you, sir?
01:09:50How much do you want?
01:09:51How much have you got?
01:09:53Apparently nothing. I'm ruined. Look.
01:09:55Oh, nothing in the cupboard, eh?
01:09:57Well, we'll just have to make do with...
01:09:58Just a minute. I've got to live.
01:10:00So have I, Billy boy. So have I.
01:10:04We'll just have to make do with this.
01:10:06Keep it. You're a disgrace to the force.
01:10:09Oh, don't say that, sir.
01:10:11Well, ta-ta, Billy boy.
01:10:14Oh...
01:10:18Keep smiling.
01:10:23A nod is as good as a wink to a blind horse.
01:10:37Extraordinary fellow.
01:10:38What division was this, Sergeant?
01:10:40Five division, sir.
01:10:51Mr. Gordon.
01:10:52I'm sorry to come barging in, sir, but the outer door was open.
01:10:55I'm Inspector Janssen from Scotland Yard. This is Sergeant Smale.
01:10:58This is just a small inquiry about your wife, sir.
01:11:01I'm sure we won't have to detain you longer than necessary.
01:11:05Well...
01:11:08Well, what do you want?
01:11:10Well, in view of certain statements you're alleged to have made
01:11:13regarding the disappearance of your wife...
01:11:15What are you winking at?
01:11:16Sir?
01:11:17I've got it. It's a conspiracy.
01:11:19The whole police force is in it.
01:11:21Mr. Gordon.
01:11:22Don't you, Mr. Gordon, me, you bloodsucker.
01:11:24Go and carve it up for Sergeant Ruddy Sykes.
01:11:26Not a penny more. I'd rather hang.
01:11:28Mr. Gordon, are you suggesting...
01:11:32Mr. Gordon, are you suggesting that the police have been accepting money?
01:11:35Accepting? I like that.
01:11:38He only accepted 3,000 pounds, and that's your lot, cock.
01:11:42Now, get out!
01:11:43Mr. Gordon, I think you would be wise to...
01:11:45Just a minute, just a minute.
01:11:47Have you got a warrant to come in here?
01:11:48No, I haven't, but I can...
01:11:49Well, I think you'd be wise to get out of it before I sling you out.
01:11:52Well, go on, beat it!
01:11:54You'll be hearing from us again.
01:11:56And you'll be wasting your flipping time!
01:12:02Two, three, 400, 50, 60, 70.
01:12:06I shan't get far on 470.
01:12:09What now, sir?
01:12:10Get hold of that Sergeant Sykes of 5th Division.
01:12:12And you'd better start digging in the ruins of Gordon's house.
01:12:15He killed his wife, all right.
01:12:27Do you mind?
01:12:30What's this?
01:12:31A nightie?
01:12:32Are you going away for the weekend?
01:12:34Give me that.
01:12:35Who are you?
01:12:36Don't you recognize me?
01:12:38No.
01:12:40Oh, yes.
01:12:41Yes, I couldn't forget.
01:12:45I certainly couldn't...
01:12:46What do you want?
01:12:47Oh, Mr. Gordon, the gang have killed your wife.
01:12:50Yes, I know.
01:12:51Oh, why didn't you pay the ransom?
01:12:53I thought they were bluffing.
01:12:54I didn't think that idiot could kill a fly.
01:12:57And they haven't finished yet.
01:12:58They're going to dress up as policemen and come and blackmail you.
01:13:01What?
01:13:02Yes, I heard them plotting it.
01:13:03Inspector Wainwright and, um...
01:13:05Sergeant Sykes?
01:13:08And I fell for it.
01:13:09I fell for it!
01:13:11Then I'm too late.
01:13:123,000 pounds too late.
01:13:14Only one consolation, the second lot didn't get anything.
01:13:17What second lot?
01:13:18You know, Inspector Jensen and the other fellow forgot his name.
01:13:20There wasn't a second lot.
01:13:24No?
01:13:29Look, the gang's idea was to blackmail you.
01:13:32And when they sucked you dry,
01:13:33they were going to write an anonymous letter to the police
01:13:35saying it was you who killed your wife.
01:13:37Well, they didn't even bother.
01:13:38I've done that myself with some real policemen.
01:13:40I've got to get out of the country.
01:13:42I should need a false passport.
01:13:44Where can I get a false passport?
01:13:45Oh, I can help you there.
01:13:46My uncle makes them.
01:13:47Hmm?
01:13:48You're kidding.
01:13:49How soon?
01:13:50Well, tomorrow.
01:13:51On conditions.
01:13:52Later, later.
01:13:53What?
01:13:54What conditions?
01:13:55That you take me with you.
01:13:56Look, I don't hold with murder.
01:13:57And if the gang find out that I've warned you,
01:13:58they'll kill me.
01:13:59All right, all right.
01:14:00Now, about the passports.
01:14:01How much?
01:14:02Well, we need two.
01:14:03That'll be 500.
01:14:04500?
01:14:05You'll take 460.
01:14:06That's my lot.
01:14:07Your lot?
01:14:08What are we going to live on abroad?
01:14:09Oh, don't worry about that.
01:14:10I've got some stacked away for emergency like this.
01:14:12Come on, let's get the photographs taken.
01:14:15Well, it really looks as if my dreams might come true.
01:14:18Dreams?
01:14:19What dreams?
01:14:20Oh, a country house.
01:14:22A cook, a butler, and a gardener.
01:14:25All the things that Billy promised me,
01:14:27but would never have given me.
01:14:29I've only got one dream.
01:14:31A little garden, and a big girl my own size.
01:14:37It worked like a dream.
01:14:38I played it beautifully, beautifully.
01:14:40I wish you'd all been there.
01:14:42Yeah, never mind about the details.
01:14:43How much?
01:14:442,300.
01:14:45Empty your pockets.
01:14:47How dare you?
01:14:48Turn them out.
01:14:49Or must we do it for you?
01:14:51I've never been so insulted in all my life.
01:14:53How dare you?
01:14:55Keep your distance.
01:14:56Keep your distance.
01:14:57He's right, you know.
01:14:58It is insulting.
01:15:00It's high time we decided who's boss here once and for all.
01:15:02We have.
01:15:04In your absence, we held an election.
01:15:06You were defeated, and I was elected unanimously.
01:15:09Now do put away that silly great gun
01:15:11and empty your pockets like a good boy.
01:15:15You can't do that.
01:15:17Her?
01:15:18Oh, a woman?
01:15:19After all I've done for you?
01:15:20After all you've done for us, you're lucky we ain't straight.
01:15:22You're going to cough up, or maybe we will.
01:15:25He's right, you know.
01:15:26We might.
01:15:27Oh, right.
01:15:29There you are.
01:15:31I wasn't going to keep it.
01:15:33Now this one.
01:15:34There isn't any more.
01:15:37What's this?
01:15:38That's my petty cash.
01:15:39Petty cash.
01:15:40That's better.
01:15:41Is that all?
01:15:42Yes.
01:15:46Hey, guess what?
01:15:47I got nearly 500 out of them for fake passports.
01:15:49Well done.
01:15:50He's potty.
01:15:51He can get a real one for 30, Bob.
01:15:53And that's not all.
01:15:54He has got a secret cache.
01:15:55I knew it.
01:15:56Where?
01:15:57I don't know.
01:15:58But he thinks we're going to South America together.
01:16:00He's meeting me at Southampton tomorrow
01:16:01and bringing the money with him.
01:16:02And he'll just slip off on his own?
01:16:04He can't.
01:16:05He thinks I'm bringing the passports.
01:16:06Well, why aren't you travelling down together?
01:16:08Because he has to say goodbye to his dear old mother.
01:16:11Ah, that's nice, isn't it?
01:16:13Got it.
01:16:15That's where it is, at his mother's.
01:16:18How do you know?
01:16:19Because, Dimwit, at this moment,
01:16:21he couldn't care less about his dear old mother.
01:16:24Yes, boys.
01:16:25I think our little partnership is almost over.
01:16:28I think we're on to the last of his lolly.
01:16:30Come on.
01:16:50BILLY BOY
01:16:57Billy, my boy.
01:16:59Hello, Ma.
01:17:00Drunk again?
01:17:01Not this time.
01:17:02How are you, Ma?
01:17:04Billy boy, now what you want, really,
01:17:06is a cup of nice strong coffee.
01:17:08That's a jolly good idea.
01:17:10I'll go and make one myself.
01:17:11No, Billy, don't do that.
01:17:12I'll make it for you.
01:17:14Billy.
01:17:16Billy, what are you doing that for?
01:17:18I'll tell you in a minute.
01:17:19Billy.
01:17:20Yes, Ma?
01:17:21Are you staying over the weekend?
01:17:23No, I'm going to South America.
01:17:25Oh, Billy.
01:17:26South America?
01:17:27Good evening.
01:17:29Good evening.
01:17:30Do you think you could spare us a glass of water, please?
01:17:33Certainly.
01:17:34Certainly.
01:17:35These gentlemen are asking for some water,
01:17:37but I'm going to make them some tea.
01:17:41Thank you very much.
01:17:44Not so fast, Billy boy.
01:17:46Aren't you going to kiss your mummy goodbye?
01:18:02What are you...
01:18:04Oh, no.
01:18:05You...
01:18:07Well, what do you want now?
01:18:09We've come to help you with the luggage.
01:18:11Here.
01:18:12There's a black car with P-O-L-I-C-E on it.
01:18:17Wacky.
01:18:18Stay put.
01:18:19Billy wouldn't say a word.
01:18:20He dared.
01:18:21Unbolt the door.
01:18:26Oh, good evening.
01:18:27Hello.
01:18:28Mr. Gordon.
01:18:29I understand that you contemplate leaving the country.
01:18:32What? What?
01:18:33Is that so?
01:18:34Certainly.
01:18:35Nonsense.
01:18:36I came down to see my mother.
01:18:37Oh.
01:18:38Oh.
01:18:39Is this your case?
01:18:40No, sir.
01:18:41What?
01:18:42No, it's mine.
01:18:43Haven't we met before?
01:18:45No, sir.
01:18:46No, I don't think so.
01:18:47The name is Mal Travers.
01:18:48Harry Mal Travers.
01:18:49We just happened to be passing,
01:18:50and the good lady was kind enough to offer us some refreshment.
01:18:53Ah, but I see you're busy, sir.
01:18:55Come, gentlemen.
01:18:56We must be on our way.
01:18:57Good day, sir.
01:18:58Good day.
01:18:59Thank you for your hospitality, sir.
01:19:01Oh, and do apologise to the good lady for me.
01:19:04Cheerio, sir.
01:19:05Let's go.
01:19:10Now, Mr. Gordon, I'm going to ask you a few questions.
01:19:12First of all, do you recognise this nightdress?
01:19:15Yes, and they did it.
01:19:16Come on, let's get up.
01:19:17Wait a minute.
01:19:18Do you mind?
01:19:19I have every reason to believe that it was you
01:19:21who murdered your wife, Lucy Gordon.
01:19:23Don't be so ridiculous.
01:19:25Why should I want to murder my wife?
01:19:26I loved her.
01:19:27And we had our little differences, but who doesn't?
01:19:30I'd sacrifice anything to have my Lucy back.
01:19:41Oh, Billy, Billy.
01:19:43Oh, I said he was drunk when he came in.
01:19:46No, it's shock, dear.
01:19:47He's had the most terrible shock.
01:19:49He really thought I'd left him for good, didn't you, dear?
01:20:03I'm pinching his car to get away, you know.
01:20:06Is it better to rehearse, eh, fellas?
01:20:08Yeah, well, if you don't drive slow, we'll finish up in one.
01:20:10Ah, cheer up, Sidney.
01:20:11We're rich at last.
01:20:13Here, who's got a case?
01:20:14I have.
01:20:15Well, hang on to it.
01:20:16There's 50,000 there to be carved up between us.
01:20:18No, only half of that.
01:20:19Lucy gets hers, remember?
01:20:20Lucy's had hers.
01:20:21We've kissed goodbye to Lucy,
01:20:22and she's kissed goodbye to this little lot.
01:20:25Kissed face when you took that case.
01:20:27Dear gentlemen, I've just been thinking.
01:20:31Do you think this is honest?
01:20:32Oh, shut up.
01:20:33Never mind.
01:20:34Hang on to that case, and hang on tight.
01:20:36Right-o.
01:21:04Oh, my God.
01:21:34Oh, my God.