The Method and Maw (Snuffy Smith)
Category
😹
FunTranscript
00:00Honey pot, I want to go home.
00:20That burn it, so do I.
00:22Well, Google, you done did it again.
00:24Another one of your concerned crazy schemes and we ain't got nothing to show for it.
00:29We got poverty.
00:30We ain't got a mule or a wagon and we're stuck in a big city without a dollar thirty to our name.
00:35On top of that, I'm hungry.
00:38Well, you rest here a spell and I'll go see if I can rustle up some grub.
00:43Yeah, I'll be right back.
00:45I'm so hungry I could eat half a heifer.
00:50I told you it would be a disaster, sheer disaster.
00:53I absolutely refuse to go on.
00:56Now, now, Beaulieu, you're brilliant in the part.
00:59There's nothing to worry about.
01:00First you did happiness in the Himalayas, then reverie in the Rockies, comedy in the Catskills, and now tragedy in the Ozarks.
01:08Oh, it'll be a tragedy, all right.
01:10Five hours from curtain time and I, I have to play the part of a miserable hillbilly woman and I've never even seen a hillbilly.
01:17Our costume designer has designed some beautiful stuff, leotards.
01:22Your idiot costume designer has never been south of New Jersey.
01:25I'm warning you, darling, unless somebody...
01:27Oh, he got us.
01:29It's alive.
01:30Let us capture it, darling.
01:33Oh, darling, allow me to introduce myself.
01:36My name is Beaulieu Beaulieu.
01:38Beaulieu Beaulieu? Oh, that's nice.
01:41That's nice.
01:42Harry, did you hear that? That's nice, she says.
01:45And who, may I ask, do I have the honor of addressing?
01:49Louise Smith. Louise.
01:52Harry, did you hear that? Louise, she says.
01:55What a bet.
01:56Darling, how would you like to earn ten dollars?
02:00Oh, I'd rather have some vittles.
02:02Darling, you come with me and you shall have your vittles.
02:06Yeesh, whatever they are.
02:08Harry, a taxi.
02:10Harry.
02:19Now, easy, darling.
02:21You just stand there and don't move a muscle.
02:23This won't take long.
02:26Oh, lend a gaushen.
02:28How do I look, darling?
02:31What happened, you ain't the purliest looking critter I ever did see.
02:35That war fantastical, the way you did that lickety split.
02:39Oh, darling, simply beautiful.
02:41Now, let me try it.
02:44That war fantastical, the way ye did that lickety lickety split.
02:49There's just one lickety.
02:52Oh, yes, I'm sorry, darling.
02:54Lickety split.
02:56Oh, my, you sure talk funny.
02:59Good, this play can use a few laughs.
03:03Now, darling, how do you walk?
03:06With my feet?
03:07No, no, show me how you walk.
03:10Oh, that's easy.
03:20What are you laughing at?
03:22Well, you sure walk funny like.
03:26Marvellous, simply marvellous.
03:29I'll pull this horrible play out of the fire yet.
03:33Lend a gaushen, Harry.
03:35Don't just stand there gaping.
03:38Give Louise the vittles and get rid of her lickety lickety split.
03:42Oh, thank you, honey pot.
03:44But remember, there's just one lickety.
03:54Oh, the fire, where's that woman?
03:57I'm hungry.
03:58Snuffy, I think we better go look for Louise.
04:01Good idea, Google.
04:02You go that-a-way and I'll go this-a-way.
04:06That's funny, Google.
04:07I said I'll go that-a-way and you go this-a-way.
04:10Sure.
04:20Beulah the curtain's in five minutes.
04:22Harry, darling, I've got to be overwhelmed with the proper mood.
04:28Oh, gone's on you, darling.
04:31I will not give up my little old cabin.
04:35Who is it?
04:36Woman, where you been?
04:37Hey, cads, of all the impudent, unspeakable frontries.
04:43Grand pleasure to learn all them new cuss words.
04:46I'm going to have to wash your mouth out with soap.
04:49Soap, indeed.
04:51Oh, why, you little unwashed weasel.
04:54You little unwashed weasel.
04:56I doubt whether you know the meaning of the word.
05:00Louise, my true love.
05:02She must have got kicked in the head by a bus.
05:08Louise!
05:10Louise!
05:16Hi, Snuffy.
05:17Hi, Google.
05:18I couldn't find Louise.
05:20Louise!
05:21You know, with that fin and a strobe, I never...
05:26Louise did that?
05:27Not only that.
05:28That bird woman doesn't seem to believe me still.
05:32Louise said that?
05:35Snuffy, are you going to take that line down?
05:37What can I do?
05:38What can you do?
05:39Who's the man in your miserable family?
05:41I am.
05:42Who wears the pants in your raggedy family?
05:44I do.
05:45Who's been made a mule-eared, flap-jawed fool of?
05:47I have.
05:48Who's going to go in that theater and get that woman out of there?
05:51You are.
05:52I am.
05:54Not me.
05:55You.
05:56Me.
05:57That's who.
05:59She's mine, Zeke.
06:00She's mine.
06:01No, she ain't, you skunk.
06:02She's mine.
06:03The arm, darling.
06:04It is not a prop.
06:05She's mine.
06:06No, she's mine.
06:07Great balls of fire.
06:09She's mine.
06:12You will, Billy Hambone.
06:14Don't you fret, Louise.
06:19So startlingly realistic.
06:21It's a mad pigeon now.
06:26Six, seven, eight.
06:28Must be some kind of aerial act.
06:36Eighteen, nineteen.
06:37Oh, hi, Louise.
06:39Hi, Barney.
06:40You a schnuffy?
06:41Schnuffy?
06:42On an empty stomach.
06:48Oh, come on, honeypot.
06:50Here for your little chill.
06:53Quiet, still.
06:59Wait.
07:02Don't drop that food.
07:04We'll sign you to a run-of-the-show contract.
07:11Well, everything's back to normal, eh, Ma?
07:14Oh, sure, darling.
07:16You promise me you won't go near them show folk anymore.
07:19Sure, Pa.
07:20You can't trust them show critters.
07:22No, Pa.
07:23Besides, they's no fun.
07:26They can't fight worth a dime.
07:28And that woman, she didn't fool me for a lickety-split second.
07:33Sure.
07:46I'm sorry.
07:47I'm sorry.
07:48I'm sorry.
07:49I'm sorry.
07:50I'm sorry.
07:51I'm sorry.
07:52I'm sorry.
07:53I'm sorry.
07:54I'm sorry.
07:55I'm sorry.
07:56I'm sorry.
07:57I'm sorry.
07:58I'm sorry.
07:59I'm sorry.
08:00I'm sorry.
08:01I'm sorry.
08:02I'm sorry.
08:03I'm sorry.
08:04I'm sorry.
08:05I'm sorry.
08:06I'm sorry.
08:07I'm sorry.
08:08I'm sorry.
08:09I'm sorry.
08:10I'm sorry.
08:11I'm sorry.
08:12I'm sorry.
08:13I'm sorry.
08:14I'm sorry.