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ash vs. evil S1 - 41 - Backstagepass zur Realität
Transcript
00:00What are you doing here, damn it! And where is the book that you stole from my family?
00:10Calm down, darling. And she sells you tickets?
00:14She's one of the good guys. She saved us from Fischer.
00:17Well, not all of us.
00:19Okay, so good. First, it's my book. For 30 years already.
00:24Second, I'm on your property to save a tiny little thing that I call Earth.
00:29Do you know what I've been doing for the last 30 years?
00:32I've been getting rid of your shit.
00:34Otherwise, something big would have been destroyed that everyone calls Earth.
00:38And what have you achieved in all these years?
00:41Your stump is wearing a chainsaw as jewelry. Congratulations.
00:46That's not as easy as it looks.
00:48Give me another one with a working chainsaw arm.
00:51That has to stop. You have the Necronomicon.
00:54And you had to give it to me. So where is it?
00:56Don't give a shit. But I'll tell you something. Soon it will be six feet under the ground.
01:00Oh, you want to bury it?
01:01You can count on it. I found out about it on a drug trip.
01:05Does that mean your whole plan to save the world is based on the smoking of a bong?
01:08No, I didn't smoke the drugs, darling. I drank them.
01:11That's how I got a backstage pass to reality.
01:15I buried it in the basement. Then I can finally say to the bad guy,
01:17Hey, bad guy, you can fuck me in the ass.
01:19What a wonderful picture.
01:21But unfortunately it doesn't work if you just bury the book.
01:24But my vision said so.
01:26Then your vision is stupid.
01:28Yeah, you're right. It's kind of stupid.
01:30Almost as stupid as your stupid face.
01:36Do you have anything else to say?
01:38I'll tell you a lot of stupid things.
01:43That was nothing.
01:45Okay, okay, kids, stop it.
01:47Now let's all take a deep breath, okay?
01:50Listen up.
01:52If this book of the dead is buried, like it used to be,
01:54some idiot can just dig it up and make it immortal.
01:58To make the Necronomicon forever harmless,
02:00you have to take it apart, destroy it.
02:03That's impossible. I tried.
02:05What, with a toy gun and a baby chainsaw?
02:08Just don't talk so badly about Moe and Larry here.
02:11They've done me good deeds over the years.
02:13Sure. You can kill the body that's possessed by the evil,
02:16but the spirit comes back again and again, doesn't it?
02:20Could be.
02:22Yes, the book and the evil that surrounds it.
02:24You don't draw from it in compassion.
02:26You have to use this.
02:29A Kandarian German.
02:31I know what that is.
02:33Yes, so show me the book.
02:35And we'll finally put an end to this.
02:37I want to talk to my people.
02:42Well, what do you think?
02:44Okay, well, she saved our lives.
02:47And I think she smells good.
02:49But I haven't showered in a long time,
02:51so I might not be able to judge.
02:53I don't know.
02:54When I've learned something from you, Ash,
02:56it's that something that's too good to be true
02:58usually doesn't work.
03:00And besides, she doesn't smell that good.
03:02Man, it's really hard to make decisions.
03:04Let's see it in a positive light.
03:06We're in deep shit.
03:08Where can you go?
03:09Up the mountain.
03:10Yeah, and back in the shit.
03:12Head first.