The Three Badasses Who Want Me ReelShort
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00:00:00You
00:00:03Sir I found Angela Lockhart
00:00:07Angela
00:00:08Still selling your hippie junk here
00:00:10I don't understand why you do so much for him behind the scenes without ever revealing your true identity now sign the divorce paper
00:00:19Baby
00:00:21I'll sign it
00:00:27My lovely princess I've selected three prime young men for you to choose from I will chase you to the end of the world
00:00:35if I have to
00:00:38You must choose one of them in seven days I'm going I need to pick up my bride
00:00:51I want to marry you
00:01:09Ellen Musk the only woman on the Forbes 30 under 30 list arrives at Atlanta today
00:01:14What a business tycoon is doing here in Georgia a forgotten stage. No one knows
00:01:19Angela my next-door neighbor still selling your hippie junk here if your mother-in-law sees she's gonna throw a big fit again
00:01:28Your mother-in-law was right about you
00:01:31What's the point of watching the news all day about these moguls if you can't even apply it to your penniless self?
00:01:36And how do you know that? This is none of my business?
00:01:40All right, everybody get out we got an important guest coming
00:01:45I
00:01:53Said pack up and scram
00:01:55Paid the staff here already and if you want me to leave then fine, but if you have to compensate for today's losses I
00:02:02Want to say that again?
00:02:06You know who's visiting today
00:02:09Ellen freaking Musk one of the richest people in the world
00:02:12Ellen Musk, of course a hick like you probably never heard of her. Just know that you can't afford to piss her off
00:02:20Really?
00:02:21Ellen Musk is flying all the way to Atlanta just to come to some flea market
00:02:26You don't think that she could be coming to see me
00:02:32Coming to see you
00:02:34All right. Oh, you know what? I'll play your game
00:02:36If she does it so much as give you a glance I'll I'll eat dirt deal
00:02:52Ellen Musk get to the flea market within 10 minutes or else you're fired
00:03:06You
00:03:16Prepare the limo miss Lockhart requires us immediately
00:03:26Your ten minutes is almost up good. Hope you don't wet your pants
00:03:36I
00:03:45Mean miss Musk Ellen, I mean, I'm sorry that I
00:03:51Sorry to frighten you
00:03:53How's my boss bitch kick an ass girlfriend? So, how do you like?
00:04:00She's my boss. Yeah, I prefer business partner or best friend
00:04:06No way
00:04:10Well
00:04:15No, no, no, I'm sorry for your boss no, I won't do it again
00:04:23We're not tyrants here
00:04:31Sir I found Angela Lockhart
00:04:37You
00:04:39Mean Angela Lockhart, I don't
00:04:44You made me lose $1,000,000 in just one game of poker, who are you?
00:04:53Where's she
00:04:54Atlanta and you're right. Who's he could leave her propping up Ellen Musk my clever bride
00:05:00I will chase you to the end of the world if I have to
00:05:07The fax prep the jet I'm heading to Atlanta
00:05:16Seven sterling's on the move. He's headed to Atlanta Atlanta. The game is afoot. I'm going
00:05:22Wait, dr. Wilson, the Prince of Bhutan. He's a medic. You can wait. I need to pick up my bride
00:05:31Dr. Wilson
00:05:36Oh
00:05:41Devin Sterling is saying most of our headed to Atlanta
00:05:44Atlanta
00:05:46Where's that whatever prepare my workplace those two going after my fiance this is
00:06:07I
00:06:10Have secretly allowed your husband Jared Cooper to win the bid on the Maple Plaza project like you asked me to
00:06:16Thank you so much. Ellen. This is gonna be the best anniversary gift ever
00:06:21That project is worth billions. You can finally take his company public, but Angela
00:06:27my boss I
00:06:29Don't understand why you do so much for him behind the scenes without ever revealing your true identity
00:06:34Without your backing no offense, but he's nothing without you. Well three years ago
00:07:04I
00:07:12Didn't want to reveal my true identity because I didn't want him to feel the pressure of being with a billionaire heiress
00:07:18But now with this
00:07:20Contract I feel like we'll be on more equal footing and then I can finally come out to the public
00:07:26So that's why you have me secretly helping him
00:07:29I'm sure he'll be moved when he finds out
00:07:34But why work at the flea market are you
00:07:38Disguising yourself to test him. Well, these exotic spices are
00:07:43Incredibly rare and cost a fortune to find plus I get to make the best dishes for my hubby and his mom
00:07:49You seem happy being a housewife
00:07:55Where the hell are you? Don't tell me you were selling junk at the flea market again
00:08:00Get home stat. It's a big day today
00:08:05that was
00:08:06My mother-in-law Carol. She judges me because she thinks I come from a lower-class family
00:08:12But she's gonna be ecstatic tonight when I finally come out and tell her who I really am
00:08:18You know, she even remembered a third year anniversary
00:08:26Please spend more time with my son
00:08:29I
00:08:32Have a big announcement I have to make finally you're back now sign the divorce papers
00:08:40Divorce papers
00:08:43Is this some sort of misunderstanding mom
00:08:46God
00:08:47Don't call me mom again. We're ending that relationship. Just look at you dirt all over
00:08:54You're selling the title of mrs. Cooper you don't deserve my son you're way below his league
00:09:01I'm below his league. That's right
00:09:04You are
00:09:06Jared is signing a hundred billion dollar contract tomorrow with the Ellen Musk and then his company's going public
00:09:15that's how much he's accomplished in three years, but you
00:09:19You're still just a stinky hippie peddler
00:09:23Jared's like the king in the clouds
00:09:27You will always just be a pawn like dirt
00:09:33on our shoes
00:09:36Dirt on your shoes
00:09:38But Ellen Musk works for me
00:09:41You're delusional. You will never upgrade to a queen. How dare you compare yourself to the real deal here?
00:09:50Resorting to lies definitely not good enough for Jared
00:09:56Who are you to come into my house and meddle with my family matters?
00:10:03You're nothing but a pathetic excuse for a wife
00:10:08Jared deserves a queen like Kaylee not a lowlife dirtbag enough
00:10:14Jared I knew you wouldn't divorce me
00:10:18But I am
00:10:21Don't fight it Angela
00:10:23There's 500 K. You'll never make this much as a hippie peddler selling spices
00:10:29Now sign the papers take a check and leave don't embarrass yourself further
00:10:36I've done so much for you these past three years
00:10:41Did that not mean anything to you?
00:10:44Didn't expect you to be so greedy
00:10:47Fine here's another 200,000
00:10:51500,000 is too much for her already. She's done nothing hasn't even contributed a
00:10:57Grandchild she just sells cheap grass all day. Is that really how much I'm worth to all of you? I
00:11:05Took care of both of you these past three years
00:11:07You
00:11:10Think we can't just hire a maid to cook for us or something and she wouldn't embarrass us with that permanent stench a
00:11:18Hippie peddler becoming the wife of a CEO
00:11:22What a joke if you actually love my son. You'll sign the damn divorce papers already and
00:11:30Leave
00:11:32You really think that Jared would have gotten that maple pause a bit without me let alone taking the company public I
00:11:40Did everything for you Jared now you take credit for my son success
00:11:50It's all my work
00:11:54baby
00:11:55We're gonna be late for the auction if we keep letting this
00:11:59psycho stall us
00:12:02You did say you would win me princess Diana's tiara didn't you?
00:12:06so
00:12:08She's the reason for the divorce
00:12:11She's worth more than you Angela
00:12:15Fine I'll sign it
00:12:19But don't regret it
00:12:22Regret
00:12:24You know who I am
00:12:25Yeah a cockroach that only knows how to crawl her way into a married man's bed, I'm Eric Vanderbilt's only daughter
00:12:33Jared winning the bid a maple Plaza was because of my dad because he's business partners with Ellen Musk
00:12:42It's part of the power I have
00:12:47You can't do shit because you're poor
00:12:51social stratum matters
00:12:53Yeah
00:12:54Social stratum does matter
00:12:56And the Coopers are beneath me and you really think Ellen Musk would come to Atlanta if it weren't for me
00:13:05Ha you're delusional
00:13:07Now sign the papers and scram
00:13:15You dirty bitch you sick of me
00:13:24You hit me outside the papers take a check and get the fuck out
00:13:47I don't need your pity money
00:13:50I
00:13:52Finished you don't want the money. That's your loss
00:13:56Your check is just pennies to me, but I would like my ring back
00:14:10Have fun on your economy flight while I catch right on my private helicopter out of here
00:14:20And I'm way out of your league
00:14:29Isn't that the Winston blue diamond ring it's worth tens of millions of dollars
00:14:36Well, it's probably just cheap glass
00:14:39Something she found at the flea market. You're right. She could never afford anything so expensive
00:14:44Expensive
00:14:48Congrats Jared boo-boo. I'm getting rid of that dirt bag. Oh
00:14:54My dad says there's gonna be a secret big shot financial tycoon at tomorrow's summit
00:15:00Bigger big shot than Ellen Musk. Yeah, and nobody's met them, but I can introduce you
00:15:08Everything's thanks to you, baby
00:15:15I
00:15:26Angela mr. Vanderbilt the richest man in Georgia wants to schedule a meeting before the bidding Vanderbilt
00:15:32Yeah, he's actually CEO of one of our companies basically our employee. Okay, I'll meet about the summit tomorrow
00:15:38It's fine. Well, you're still going to the summit tomorrow, but you and Jared Cooper are already divorced
00:15:43That's exactly why I'm going
00:16:07Angela Lockhart, I finally found you
00:16:13See that that's Devin Sterling
00:16:16He's number one on Forbes 30 under 30 list an early investor of crypto CEO of sterling enterprises
00:16:23Rumor has it he's worth trillions
00:16:26and he's
00:16:27your fiance
00:16:29What what my fiance the one and only?
00:16:35So after running away and leaving me single for three years
00:16:40Have you figured out how you're gonna make it up to me yet, babe?
00:16:52That tiara looks perfect on you
00:16:58What is she doing here
00:17:03You skank my son just divorced you yesterday and you're already hooking up with another man
00:17:10divorce
00:17:12That's right, so I guess this was never meant to be mr. Sterling
00:17:22So she has to hide her marital status to find another man guess she's not just a forsaken woman
00:17:28She's also a stinky penniless whore
00:17:33How dare you insult my boss like that
00:17:37Fuck are you bitch?
00:17:40Do you know who I am?
00:17:42They don't know who you are
00:17:45You hide it well
00:17:47X team teach these fools a lesson
00:17:53Teach these fools a lesson
00:17:58Sir you were kind of in a rush when you flew to Atlanta and then to New York you forgot to bring the security team
00:18:05Mm-hmm
00:18:10But if I borrow your men
00:18:17Chelsea's ill-mannered. It's out. Oh, you bitch. I'll have my son teach you a real lesson
00:18:30Kiss
00:18:33No
00:18:42Guest list is very distinguished tonight
00:18:44You've got Bill Ford Harvey Buffett old money like me
00:18:50Gentlemen, Harvey bill. This is Jared Cooper. Pleased to meet you all your families all started empires after the Industrial Revolution
00:18:57What an honor I heard you secured the Maple Plaza project
00:19:02That's worth billions of dollars
00:19:04Congrats, you'll be next. Thank you, but we haven't received the contract yet. We deserve it. Oh, that's nothing
00:19:11I introduced this kid to Ellen Musk
00:19:13Vanderbilts and miss musk have always had a good relationship. So I thought I'd help the kid out pull a few strings
00:19:22Now we just have to impress miss musk special guest of honor
00:19:26I heard they're a very important and powerful guest even wealthier than Ellen Musk
00:19:34If we can just secure a position with this big shot, we can feast for generations
00:19:49Excuse me second children. What if it's the Prince of Bhutan?
00:19:56How did hobo like you sneak in here
00:19:59Me a hobo
00:20:01How did cheating scumbag like you sneak in here sleep your way in? I told you Angela Lockhart
00:20:06Don't bother stalking me. Nothing will come of it and it only sickens me further
00:20:16This is your ex-husband
00:20:20What were you blindfolded when you married him
00:20:22Who the hell is this?
00:20:24You were cheating on me
00:20:37Son you have to avenge me and Kaylee that wicked ex-wife of yours hired some thugs and a gigolo to beat us up
00:20:46They even took Kaylee's tiara
00:20:54You dare hurt my mom and Kaylee?
00:21:05Get your hands off her
00:21:11My lady
00:21:24It's
00:21:40It's him
00:21:42He scammed a million dollars off me in a game of poker yesterday
00:21:45Who are these peasants?
00:21:47These seats are reserved for the Ellen Musk and her special guest
00:21:52Shut up old man
00:21:55Disturbing the peace
00:21:59Fuckers you know who that is. That's Eric Vanderbilt
00:22:02You have any idea how many generations of wealth he has his ancestors built the railway and steamship Empire of America
00:22:09The Civil War would not have been won without his family's involvement
00:22:13Vanderbilt
00:22:15the father of that skank
00:22:18Kaylee Vanderbilt who only knows how to crawl her way into a married man's bed
00:22:24that only Vanderbilt family
00:22:34Damn it stomachache now
00:22:40Whatever Angela can handle herself. She'll be fine
00:22:48How
00:22:56Dare you call one of us low
00:22:58I'm Harvey effin Buffett the most important investor in the entire stock market I
00:23:04Can wipe you out with a simple pinky only?
00:23:08And I can wipe you out with just a strand of my hair
00:23:12Not with me around I build Ford in the entire Ford Auto Empire stand with these gentlemen
00:23:19You're all just peasants compared to who I really am
00:23:24You're fucking delusional Angela we've had enough of your games
00:23:28Security break their limbs and toss them out looks like the old guard is teaming up against you
00:23:37You got your money I
00:23:40I can handle myself. Thank you. Yes, my great
00:23:45You're all despicable
00:23:48an insult to your family names
00:23:53Now it's my turn to rule
00:23:57Destroy Jared Cooper cut off all business ties, and if you don't I
00:24:04Will take away all of your family's wealth and power
00:24:11You're here to fuck with me you can't fool anyone here
00:24:14How much money did you spend on that get up and to hire that gigolo to make me jealous?
00:24:18You're an orphan who sells hippie spices at a flea market you have nothing and you will always be nothing
00:24:27She's a gold digger gold digger
00:24:31I
00:24:33Don't try me for a night
00:24:36Yeah, you're a little too pricey mr.. Vanderbilt. We really shouldn't keep these bandits here any longer
00:24:41They might upset miss Ellen musk and her special guest Angela Lockhart is my spurned ex-wife
00:24:46She's only here to try and ruin my bill in the maple plaza project. Oh
00:24:51Skirt
00:24:54You all don't realize that you actually all work for me, and now you're trying to throw a coup you
00:25:03Insolent fools let me guess you're that special guest I
00:25:09Don't know throw them out and not without some broken bones, too
00:25:23Oh back down I got this
00:25:53What
00:25:58The hell are you two doing here?
00:26:00Always supposed to guard you know you're supposed to make sure miss Lockhart is okay. Oh my god. We're so screwed
00:26:16Angela
00:26:18Don't hurt her you bitch. I've always been sick of you. You just threw yourself at me
00:26:23How dare you insult my boss like that boss?
00:26:28Miss musk
00:26:30That's Ellen musk that woman right there is Angela Lockhart my boss and sole heiress to the Henry Lockhart's fortune
00:26:38Their lineage is older than this country itself
00:26:41Past the American Revolution back to the Renaissance
00:26:45If she's your boss, then that means Angela Lockhart is that's lady Lockhart to you
00:26:50She's royalty and since you're all subsidiaries. She's your boss's boss
00:26:56Kneel to me oh
00:26:59Your majesty welcome to the United States
00:27:04Oh
00:27:13My queen, please forgive our
00:27:19What are you doing idiot let go of the boss lady and beg for forgiveness
00:27:34Rightfully belongs to you
00:27:52She's a badass herself you missed out on a good wife
00:27:57You you you told me your wife was a hippie peddler turns out you were the freeloading scumbag
00:28:04No, no, don't believe their lies. I worked hard for everything
00:28:08You worked for everything
00:28:16So our 30th anniversary is coming up and I thought that maybe we can do something special this year
00:28:22I can't focus on anything trivial like that
00:28:24I have to figure out this bid for the Maple Closet project and if I get it I can take the company public
00:28:34You
00:28:37Were nothing before me all your achievements all your glory
00:28:43That's all mine
00:28:45including the Maple Closet contract I
00:28:49Can take all of that away?
00:28:53You can't take that away from me that's why Ellen Musk was urging us to pass on deals to this nobody. Oh
00:28:59And
00:29:00This antique wedding ring. Yeah, I forgot to tell you it was Queen Victoria's and it's worth is equivalent to more than an entire
00:29:08country's GDP
00:29:16Gave you back the ring
00:29:29Oh man, it looks like they've started the party without us. No one's allowed to start a fight without cold Eisenhower
00:29:43Guard these two again
00:29:44Did he say is he cold Eisenhower?
00:29:48President Eisenhower's descendant after General Eisenhower won World War two
00:29:51Each of his descendants have all gone on to become five-star generals the highest rank in the nation's military
00:29:57Bloody buffoons know your history. Sorry. I'm late, babe. I got lost try and find Atlanta then lost again. I'm on my way back to New York
00:30:08And that there is that is the legendary the boy genius dr. Wilson he's dr.
00:30:15House's protege dr. Hell. I thought that was just a TV show. Oh, no, that's based on real figure. Yep. That's me
00:30:22son James house
00:30:24Dr. House, he's practically my uncle. I correctly diagnosed the Pope before him when I was just 12 years old
00:30:30So he's been off crying himself a waterfall somewhere in the Netherlands for the last
00:30:36I'm late because I ran out of gum and had to make a pit stop
00:30:44Hey Alan, who are these weirdos and why are they here? They're all your fiancee
00:30:51What?
00:30:53Fiancees
00:30:56Plural
00:30:57fiancees plural
00:31:00Watch it nurse. I'm her fiance. No, I'm her fiance. You can both shut up. I'm her fiance
00:31:07It's you. It's me. Who the hell is he? I'm spider-man
00:31:13How are all three of these men my fiance
00:31:18Your father had arranged these engagements years ago, but I didn't tell you because he decided to marry Jared Cooper at the time
00:31:25She has three badass fiancees and she marries his dumb ass
00:31:32Whatever since you're all here help me finish them
00:31:38Since you're all here help me finish them
00:31:43At your service me too
00:31:49Oh one down two more to go she's become Queen Bishop to g4
00:32:03Most German fests and water in the Nile River
00:32:09Rock to a 8
00:32:16Hello
00:32:19I thought I was king. No, you wish the king doesn't do anything. So Alan can be my king
00:32:30Bankrupt before it's right this second
00:32:37Hi
00:32:49I've been bankrupt. I
00:32:52Told you I would remove all of you from status and power if you didn't cooperate
00:32:57Well, guess what game over? All right, boys
00:33:01Let's figure out this four-way engagement. Oh, that's serious
00:33:08Wait for me nobody beats me to the finish line
00:33:19And
00:33:23You already have three fiancees you can't accuse me of cheating I want compensation
00:33:33You greedy SOB
00:33:36My ex-husband
00:33:37Wait, you were married. Yeah, and if that's a problem for you, then you can totally back out of this engagement
00:33:44More for me, you know, no, of course not just
00:33:48You want me to check your eyes for you?
00:33:50Don't steal my joke. I can make him disappear without a trace all the evidence of your past with him
00:33:57What there's something on my face, uh, yeah murderous intent
00:34:02Let's remarry
00:34:05Let's remarry
00:34:07You still don't realize I only fell in love with you because you saved me from drowning three years ago
00:34:15I
00:34:39Sir, it's an emergency
00:34:41We need to wreck right away.
00:34:43Nicole Eisenhower and Shane Wilson are causing mayhem at the company warehouse.
00:34:47Okay, I'm on my way.
00:34:51She should be okay now.
00:34:56Hey you!
00:34:57Watch over here.
00:34:59I'll be right back.
00:35:08You saved me.
00:35:12Fuck.
00:35:13I unwittingly gave away my own wife.
00:35:17Fuck.
00:35:18I unwittingly gave away my own wife.
00:35:20You've cheated on me.
00:35:22You've hit me.
00:35:23And you've insulted me.
00:35:25And after all that, I never want to see you again.
00:35:29I fucking hate you.
00:35:32Lady Lockhart!
00:35:34What? What now?
00:35:37Yes, we understand that you are a very busy person,
00:35:41but if you're not going to give your ex-husband the Maple Plaza project...
00:35:45How about us three?
00:35:46Yes, unlike that scumbag, we won't turn on you.
00:35:50Yeah, no. You're all fired for trying to throw a coup.
00:35:55This is your fault, you doofus!
00:35:57We never should have believed your bullshit!
00:35:59No! No!
00:36:02We can't lose our positions with Elon Musk and the Lockharts.
00:36:06How about me?
00:36:08I'll get you for this!
00:36:16I never should have listened to you.
00:36:17I'm ruined because of you!
00:36:33So, what's the situation here?
00:36:35I want to marry you!
00:36:45I want to marry you!
00:36:49Listen, I only met you guys a few hours ago,
00:36:53and I'm not interested in flash marriages.
00:36:56But what if I told you
00:36:58that we've known each other for much longer than just a few hours?
00:37:02Much longer?
00:37:06Angela?
00:37:07Your parents would like to have a video call with all of you.
00:37:14My lovely princess, how are you?
00:37:17Look, your mother and I are in Italy!
00:37:19The views here are absolutely stunning!
00:37:22Perfect for a wedding, wouldn't you say?
00:37:25I heard you finally divorced that good-for-nothing,
00:37:29blood-sucking, freeloader husband of yours.
00:37:32Can't call his name, but...
00:37:34Anyway, congratulations!
00:37:36I've selected three prime young men for you to choose from to replace him.
00:37:41You must pick one of them to marry, otherwise...
00:37:45Let me do it!
00:37:47You must choose one of them in seven days,
00:37:50otherwise...
00:37:52We'll kill ourselves.
00:37:54Mom!
00:37:56Alright, honey, that's it!
00:37:58Bye! Bye!
00:38:03So, who are you going to choose?
00:38:08Well, what if I want all three of you?
00:38:13Well, what if I want all three of you?
00:38:18That seems greedy.
00:38:23But...
00:38:25I can always remove the other two options.
00:38:28Hey, I may be a doctor, but I can take lives too.
00:38:32I know and have access to all the deadliest poisons in the world.
00:38:37Well, okay, no murder please, I was just kidding.
00:38:42You have seven days to win her over.
00:38:45Ooh, it's like The Bachelorette.
00:38:48Ooh, it's like The Bachelorette.
00:38:51I know, we'll start with challenge one.
00:38:56Welcome to the show, The Three Badasses Who Want Me.
00:39:00Today, we have our first challenge.
00:39:04What is all of this, Ellen?
00:39:07You'll see.
00:39:10Oh my god, oh my god, cockroaches!
00:39:13All women are afraid of cockroaches,
00:39:16and it is every man's job to save their beloved woman
00:39:19from this monstrosity of a creature.
00:39:21What will our three candidates do to prove their undying love
00:39:25for our single woman, but screaming her head off heiress?
00:39:30Looks like one of our contestants has already called it quits.
00:39:33It's up to the final two.
00:40:00Whoa.
00:40:10Crunchy.
00:40:12That is sick, Cole.
00:40:14Hey, when you're stranded in the middle of the battlefield,
00:40:17you'll be glad to see one of these around.
00:40:20There are two more left.
00:40:22Wanna try one?
00:40:23God, no, no.
00:40:26Oh my god, save me.
00:40:28Save you? Save me?
00:40:33I'm a German folk doctor.
00:40:35These hands can't get germs on them.
00:40:37They're for surgery and saving lives.
00:40:54Thank god you're here.
00:40:57Are you alright, honey?
00:40:59Angela!
00:41:03Alright, you won the first challenge, so your reward,
00:41:06you get to watch over her for the night.
00:41:09Just don't cross the line, if you know what I mean.
00:41:12I'm not her scumbag husband. You have nothing to worry about.
00:41:20Honestly, even if you guys fuck, it's not like it's against the rules or anything.
00:41:23At least my girl can get some.
00:41:25I bet her husband has a small dick anyway.
00:41:30The cockroaches!
00:41:31They're gone, they're gone.
00:41:33There's nothing in this room except you and me, okay?
00:41:36I'm going to kill Ellen when I see her tomorrow.
00:41:43I need a drink.
00:41:46Whoa, easy! You're on an empty stomach.
00:41:49Oh, why do you care?
00:41:52I'm trying to drink away your sorrows, Angela.
00:41:57You guys were right.
00:41:59I was blind from marrying that asshole.
00:42:02You know, I wasted three whole years of my life with him.
00:42:08He didn't care.
00:42:10I wasted three whole years of my life with him.
00:42:15He never even loved me.
00:42:17And I gave up my entire career for him.
00:42:23Do you really think that you would still be number one on the Forbes 30 Under 30 list if I was around?
00:42:31You may not be number one on Forbes list, but you know what you're number one in?
00:42:36What?
00:42:40You're number one here.
00:42:47You know, we've known each other kind of a long time.
00:42:51Lies.
00:42:54You all just want something from me.
00:43:01Angela, I know it's hard to trust again.
00:43:06But I assure you, I don't care what family you're from.
00:43:12I'm the richest man in the nation.
00:43:14I don't need your power, your status, your wealth, your connections.
00:43:22I just need you.
00:43:26I'll prove my love to you within six days, I promise.
00:43:37Screw the contest. I just want love.
00:43:42Angela, you're drunk.
00:43:45I'm an adult. Can't I just go get what she wants?
00:43:49Okay.
00:43:55But love and sex aren't exactly the same thing.
00:43:58Oh, they're not mutually exclusive either.
00:44:06This is what you want.
00:44:37Nine inch penis.
00:44:39Morning to you too.
00:44:42You sure you were drunk last night? You wouldn't...
00:44:44A girl remembers when she's had a nine inch penis inside of her.
00:44:50Well, glad you enjoyed it.
00:44:53But don't tell Shane or Cole.
00:44:56Because then they would...
00:44:58Say that you were being unfair?
00:45:00Technically, us having sex doesn't break any rules.
00:45:03Technically, us having sex doesn't break any rules.
00:45:06I won the first challenge, and according to Ellen,
00:45:09my prize was to spend a night with you anyways.
00:45:13Don't make this any harder than it already is.
00:45:19You sure you don't want it pretty hard?
00:45:23Stop.
00:45:26Fine, fine, fine.
00:45:30I won't tell.
00:45:33But only on one condition.
00:45:37I won't tell.
00:45:39But only on one condition.
00:45:42You have to go out on a date with me.
00:45:45Fine.
00:45:49I've had a crush on you since college, Angela.
00:45:53You never noticed me.
00:45:57Um, you should get dressed and get out of here before anyone sees you.
00:46:04It's only 7am. She's still sleeping.
00:46:07I'm not sleeping alone.
00:46:08Yeah, I'm not letting my fiancé be alone with another man for another second.
00:46:14Morning, gentlemen. Or shall I say ruffmen?
00:46:18Oh, don't mind him.
00:46:20What's up, guys?
00:46:22We're ready for the second challenge.
00:46:24No cockroaches this time.
00:46:26Yes, no more terrifying things. That was my bad, Angela.
00:46:29This better be a good challenge, Ellen.
00:46:32I'm sure you'll all enjoy this one.
00:46:34The second challenge is...
00:46:36The second challenge is...
00:46:38a date.
00:46:39Lane, I should have asked for something else.
00:46:41A date? That's it.
00:46:44What's the catch?
00:46:45No catch. Just who Ms. Lockhart enjoys spending her time with the most.
00:46:49As simple as that.
00:46:50I know what I want to do. Let's start with me first.
00:46:52Okay. Who goes up first? Then...
00:46:54Me. Save the best for last.
00:46:57Ain't that right, Angela?
00:46:59Then it's decided.
00:47:03Please don't take my BMW away.
00:47:06Too bad. You pissed off the Lockharts.
00:47:10I have nothing left.
00:47:14It's that bitch who ruined me.
00:47:19It's that bitch who ruined me.
00:47:29You know Eisenhower, sir?
00:47:31At ease, Lieutenant.
00:47:32This is my lieutenant. He also manages this boxing gym.
00:47:35Please don't take my BMW away.
00:47:38I have nothing left.
00:47:40This is my lieutenant. He also manages this boxing gym.
00:47:43Pleasure to meet you, Madam Eisenhower.
00:47:45He's so serious. But hang on.
00:47:48Lieutenant, I don't know who I'm going to marry yet.
00:47:51Baby, I decided to take you here on our first date so that I can introduce you to my guns.
00:47:56Guns? Like murder weapons?
00:47:59Yes. Murder weapons.
00:48:10Guns.
00:48:21You're like my guns, babe.
00:48:23Pretty rock hard.
00:48:24Yeah.
00:48:26Let me show you what I can do with them.
00:48:28Lieutenant! Come close!
00:48:31Wait! You're just going to hit him like that? He's not even going to fight back?
00:48:35Fighting back would be treason, ma'am!
00:48:37Lieutenant, you guys are way too serious.
00:48:40Look, you rock hard bitch! I caught you!
00:48:43If I'm going down, you're all going down with me!
00:48:46Lieutenant, here's your attack!
00:49:00You dare try to hurt my wife?
00:49:04I will make you pay!
00:49:07You don't need to keep beating him up. We could just take him to the cops.
00:49:11Not when he tries to hurt you!
00:49:19He's always a bit violent. Some might call it being protective.
00:49:23Poor anger issues. What if we get married and I forget to use a coaster on an antique table or something?
00:49:29Is he going to be, like, rough?
00:49:32Hey, some girls are into that.
00:49:34I don't know if I am.
00:49:37Well, maybe Shane will be your type.
00:49:42Your date with Shane starts now.
00:49:49Hey.
00:49:51Cool ride.
00:49:53A gift from the Chancellor of Germany when I saved his wife.
00:49:56Impressive.
00:49:59Your breath smells like peppermint.
00:50:02Refreshing.
00:50:04I got cool mint, too.
00:50:06Or do you prefer spearmint?
00:50:09What do you not have in this coat of yours?
00:50:12Fruit flavored gum. I can't stand those.
00:50:15So, where are you taking me, Shane?
00:50:17Let me show you.
00:50:20Dr. Wilson!
00:50:23Our VIP of VIPs!
00:50:25Right this way.
00:50:26VIP of VIPs?
00:50:28Ah, just some other guy I saved. I forget who.
00:50:31You saved a lot of people.
00:50:33I do what I can.
00:50:35Oh, my gosh.
00:50:37It's my gold-digging neighbor who just got dumped by her husband.
00:50:42Sandra Miller, what are you doing here?
00:50:46Sandra Miller, what are you doing here?
00:50:49I just thought this was for the VIP of VIPs.
00:50:52Your mother-in-law told me all about the divorce
00:50:54and how you hired some gigolo to beat her and Kaylee Vanderbilt up.
00:50:59How low of you.
00:51:01What are you doing here, Sandra?
00:51:03Of course your bird brain wouldn't remember.
00:51:05I sell high-fashion jewelry pieces so high-end,
00:51:08you couldn't even afford even a few soldier organs.
00:51:12The auction begins.
00:51:14I'll deal with you later.
00:51:17Here, I'll just be one second.
00:51:23Cameron, I have a task for you.
00:51:28Our next piece is absolutely extraordinary.
00:51:32Cleopatra's armband.
00:51:34Sold by our vendor, Sandra Miller, for five million dollars.
00:51:41Excuse me.
00:51:43I'd like to donate this piece to auction.
00:51:45It's Queen Victoria's ring.
00:51:48I'd like to donate this piece to auction.
00:51:51It's Queen Victoria's ring.
00:51:53What are you doing?
00:51:54Just watch.
00:52:01That is Queen Victoria's ring?
00:52:04Please, I'm an expert and that's a fake.
00:52:07She probably got it at the flea market she works at.
00:52:10You work at a flea market?
00:52:11Not this again.
00:52:13Cut the bullshit.
00:52:14That wouldn't even sell for five dollars.
00:52:16Oh yeah?
00:52:17Here, you want it?
00:52:18For free.
00:52:19Ew!
00:52:20I don't want that trash from a stinky hippie peddler.
00:52:24Well, that's too bad then, because you are the fraud.
00:52:30What are you talking about?
00:52:31Who the hell are you to accuse me?
00:52:33Throw them out!
00:52:35Mr. Wilson, I know you're a legend in medicine, but we're professionals.
00:52:39Oh yeah?
00:52:41And that armband sells for five million dollars?
00:52:44Yeah.
00:52:45Mine is the real thing.
00:52:47You two are just upset because you're too poor to afford our luxury items.
00:52:52Oh, is that so?
00:52:53We're a so-called expert failed to recognize Queen Victoria's ring then?
00:52:57Dear Lord.
00:53:00This is real.
00:53:02It's authentic.
00:53:03It's Queen Victoria's ring.
00:53:09Cameron, what have you found?
00:53:11Yeah, that picture of Cleopatra's armband you sent me?
00:53:14It's a replica.
00:53:17They had the same one right here at the flea market.
00:53:20So, you're the fraud.
00:53:24You just went to the flea market so you can buy some fakes.
00:53:27And Cameron, how much are these fakes being sold for?
00:53:31150.
00:53:32Wow.
00:53:33Not even five dollars.
00:53:35Sandra.
00:53:36You've been duping us the whole time?
00:53:40Arrest her!
00:53:41No!
00:53:42Please!
00:53:43It was just this one time!
00:53:45Please!
00:53:46What's going on, Dr. Wilson?
00:53:48Uh, investigating lead poisoning from Chief Jewelry for the Emperor of Japan.
00:53:52Bye.
00:53:53Blacklist her from the jewelry industry forever.
00:54:03I had a really great time tonight.
00:54:06Me too.
00:54:07May I have a kiss?
00:54:24Something wrong?
00:54:26Do you always have gum in your mouth?
00:54:33Yep.
00:54:34You never have to worry about stinky breath from me.
00:54:45Ha!
00:54:46You owe us a bunch of money, Cooper.
00:54:51I don't have any money.
00:54:53How did you pay for this hotel then?
00:54:56I guess you'll only pay up if I break your other leg.
00:55:03Stop!
00:55:07Mr. Vanderbilt.
00:55:11Mr. Buffett.
00:55:16This is the contract for the Maple Plaza project.
00:55:19That's right.
00:55:20Miss Musk wanted me to give it to you.
00:55:23I knew Angela was still in love with me.
00:55:26I knew Angela was still in love with me.
00:55:28No, no.
00:55:29Sorry about those injuries from earlier.
00:55:31It was all just a little misunderstanding.
00:55:34Yeah, we could be partners again.
00:55:37And then maybe you can tell Lady Lockhart to put in a good word for us?
00:55:43Angela still loves me.
00:55:44She's just throwing a fit.
00:55:46She'll be back to me soon enough.
00:55:48Yeah, do you need any help winning her back?
00:55:50We can give you jewelry to give to her.
00:55:53I was just sucking up to these pricks a few days ago,
00:55:56and now they're all begging me to help them out.
00:55:58It feels so damn good to be in power.
00:56:02Sure.
00:56:03I'll put in a good word for you.
00:56:05I just need...
00:56:06Anything.
00:56:07You tell us, we'll give you anything.
00:56:09Once I take everything from these idiots,
00:56:12I'll go after Angela Lockhart for my revenge.
00:56:21I'm giving the contract to Jared Cooper, just like you asked me to.
00:56:25Well done, he'll be fucked soon.
00:56:29Well done, he'll be fucked soon.
00:56:31I don't get it, Ms. Musk.
00:56:33That contract has a preliminary clause.
00:56:35It requires him to pay 50% of the costs up front as a deposit.
00:56:39And if he can't, then what?
00:56:41He'll be bankrupt.
00:56:42So as long as he's greedy, I have to take it.
00:56:46I'm avenging my best friend.
00:56:48I want to show the world that without Angela Lockhart, he's nothing.
00:56:58I signed the Maple Plaza project.
00:57:01We should celebrate.
00:57:02You did?
00:57:03You see, I know my son has it in him.
00:57:06That skank Angela is nothing next to you.
00:57:09And it's all thanks to you, sweetheart.
00:57:12Actually, it's thanks to Angela.
00:57:18What?
00:57:20You're trying to ditch me to go back to your wife?
00:57:22Oh, no, no, no, he's not.
00:57:24Jared, what are you doing?
00:57:26You have such a beautiful and bright future ahead of you.
00:57:30It's my decision, Mom.
00:57:32I'm the head of the house here.
00:57:34I'm telling my dad.
00:57:36Fine, go right ahead, he has enough problems himself.
00:57:38If you're obedient, I'll keep you around as a side piece.
00:57:41But if not, you can scram.
00:57:44Dad, Jared is being mean to me.
00:57:47Teach him a lesson.
00:57:48Kaylee, be a good girl, okay?
00:57:50Jared has the backing of some very powerful people now.
00:57:54Don't get on his bad side.
00:57:56We can't afford to piss him off.
00:57:58So do as he says.
00:58:00But Dad...
00:58:08I'm sorry.
00:58:10Be your side piece.
00:58:12Very good.
00:58:13I'm happy you've come around.
00:58:15Now let's go celebrate.
00:58:20I mean, do I really want to be with Mr. Minty Mouth forever, though?
00:58:24But that tongue action, though.
00:58:26Tongue is important.
00:58:28In more than just one spot.
00:58:29Ellen, we aren't in public.
00:58:31It's true.
00:58:33Stomach ache.
00:58:34Again?
00:58:35I have to run to the bathroom.
00:58:36Devin should be here to pick you up soon.
00:58:38Okay.
00:58:40Devin's late.
00:58:42Not a good sign for a date.
00:58:46This hotel restaurant has five Michelin stars.
00:58:51It's her.
00:58:52And she's alone.
00:58:53With no one to save her.
00:58:57You whore.
00:58:58You seduced my son so he could back with you.
00:59:05Let me tell you.
00:59:06I would never go back even if your entire family got down on their knees and begged me.
00:59:13Hey, you guys can fight all you want.
00:59:15But you need to take this somewhere else.
00:59:17Whoever gets rid of her for me gets all this.
00:59:20What?
00:59:21Why do I have to leave?
00:59:22She's the one starting shit.
00:59:23Because I have money and you don't.
00:59:26You're just a stinky hippie peddler.
00:59:28And my son just signed a 100 billion dollar contract.
00:59:32He still got the contract?
00:59:34Hmm.
00:59:35Must be Ellen's doing.
00:59:37Even if he does sign it,
00:59:39he doesn't have the liquidity to pay the deposit up front.
00:59:41Oh, he's just gonna...
00:59:43Bet you've never seen this much cash before.
00:59:47Bet you've never seen this much cash before.
00:59:52You take my charity and toss it in my face as if it's your own.
00:59:57My maid wouldn't even pick up such a pitiful amount.
01:00:00One thousand dollars to take her away.
01:00:03Two thousand dollars to drag her away.
01:00:06Five thousand dollars to beat her away.
01:00:11Oh, oh, hey!
01:00:13Hey! Ow! Hey!
01:00:15Oh!
01:00:17You okay?
01:00:18Yeah.
01:00:19Are you hurt?
01:00:24Weakling.
01:00:25You!
01:00:26You, just a few days ago,
01:00:27you found yourself a boy toy right after getting divorced.
01:00:30And now you have two more?
01:00:32What a whore.
01:00:34What a whore.
01:00:35Yeah.
01:00:36And Jared wanted to get back with her?
01:00:38What if she has an STD?
01:00:40Oh, like sleeping with a married man wouldn't give you an STD.
01:00:44Let's go.
01:00:46We'll expose her to Jared.
01:00:48Hang on.
01:00:49What do you want?
01:00:51I'll scream.
01:00:52I don't hit women.
01:00:54But I never said I don't kill women.
01:00:58But I never said I don't kill women.
01:01:01Oh, God.
01:01:02He is a murderer.
01:01:04What if he murders me?
01:01:05Not him.
01:01:06Definitely not him.
01:01:08Definitely not him.
01:01:13We're not afraid of you.
01:01:15That's enough.
01:01:16This isn't a war zone.
01:01:18You'll be removed from being a five-star general
01:01:20if you hurt a civilian without adequate cause.
01:01:22I was just messing with him.
01:01:24Was he, though?
01:01:25We're not afraid of you.
01:01:28Jared!
01:01:29You have to avenge us.
01:01:30Look at this slut.
01:01:31She's found two more boy toys.
01:01:33She's cheating on you.
01:01:34Don't get back with her.
01:01:36Mr. Cooper, it's you.
01:01:37I apologize for this scene.
01:01:39I'll toss out the potty crashers immediately
01:01:41so that you can go to your salvation banquet.
01:01:43Who did you say you were going to toss out?
01:01:46Who did you say you were going to toss out?
01:01:48The potty crashers.
01:01:52You have any idea who that is?
01:01:54That's my wife.
01:01:55We saved that head off of the real skank over there.
01:01:58That's right.
01:01:59Know your place.
01:02:00Shut up.
01:02:01She's cheating on you.
01:02:04Know your place.
01:02:06You're just a side piece.
01:02:07If I still want you, that is.
01:02:09Eric, have you gone mad?
01:02:11This is Eric Vanderbilt's only daughter.
01:02:13You slap her for this whore?
01:02:15Mom!
01:02:16They really think they're something, huh?
01:02:18Angela's an heiress to a family
01:02:20whose wealth and status goes back to the Victorian age.
01:02:22She's richer even than Ellen Musk.
01:02:25I only got the Maple Plaza project
01:02:27because she gave it to me.
01:02:29What?
01:02:31You apologize right now
01:02:33or I will kick you and your father to the curb.
01:02:41I'm sorry.
01:02:43No.
01:02:45This can't be.
01:02:47I made you divorce...
01:02:51Go home.
01:02:53You're not suited to come with me to my celebration banquet.
01:03:01I apologize on behalf of my mother.
01:03:04Honey, I know you came here to celebrate my achievements.
01:03:08I promise no one will bother you anymore.
01:03:11I didn't come here for you.
01:03:14I'm on a date.
01:03:16A date with two men at the same time?
01:03:19She really is a whore.
01:03:21Angela, please forgive me.
01:03:23I really do love you.
01:03:27Lady Lockhart is here.
01:03:31Lady Lockhart is here.
01:03:34Yeah, we already know you beat Ford's effort.
01:03:38We're too old for that.
01:03:40They're here for my celebration banquet.
01:03:42Please, you gave me the contract,
01:03:44so if anyone should go as my guest of honor,
01:03:47it should be you.
01:03:48Oh, yes, please, Miss Lockhart, join us.
01:03:50We'll all be one happy business family again.
01:03:54What the hell are you all doing here?
01:03:56Where were you?
01:03:58Stomach issues.
01:04:00Again?
01:04:01Would you like my diagnosis?
01:04:03No.
01:04:05Let me make myself clear, okay?
01:04:09I would rather die than be with you again.
01:04:13Seems that they're not actually on good terms.
01:04:17I can't lose face in front of these pricks.
01:04:19Otherwise, they'll cut me off, too.
01:04:21Angela, I know you're still mad,
01:04:22but please give me a chance.
01:04:23I'll prove it to you.
01:04:25You want a chance?
01:04:27Angela, no.
01:04:28You have three great guys here who all want to marry you.
01:04:31Don't take him back.
01:04:33I'll give you two choices.
01:04:37I'll give you two choices.
01:04:41Me or the contract.
01:04:44You're kidding me.
01:04:45No, I'm not kidding you.
01:04:48If you choose me, we can remarry this week.
01:04:52But you don't get the $100 billion contract.
01:04:56The choice is all yours.
01:04:58That's a tough choice.
01:05:00You think so?
01:05:01He either marries a royal heiress
01:05:02or gets a contract that takes his company to the moon.
01:05:05Either way, he benefits.
01:05:07Why can't I have both?
01:05:09You really are a greedy bastard.
01:05:12Angela, I saved you in the pool, remember?
01:05:14I deserve the contract.
01:05:16Did you really?
01:05:22Look who's fashionably late now.
01:05:25He didn't save her at the pool.
01:05:27Wait, what are you talking about?
01:05:30I choose the contract.
01:05:32I knew it.
01:05:34You'll get what's coming to you.
01:05:36With this contract,
01:05:38my company's earning potential is limitless.
01:05:41Angela Lockhart, you humiliated me in front of everyone.
01:05:44I will get you one day.
01:05:46Let me show you something.
01:05:56You saved me.
01:06:02You saved me.
01:06:04I'm sorry if his lies led to you
01:06:07wasting three years of your life.
01:06:10But I promise you,
01:06:13I'm gonna make it up to you with the rest of our lives.
01:06:16No, no, I wasn't lying.
01:06:18I just couldn't remember exactly what happened that day.
01:06:23Does that mean we both each saved her once?
01:06:27What? Me?
01:06:29Dr. Wilson? Losing at saving people?
01:06:32No way.
01:06:34You guys, one of you,
01:06:36do something life-threatening right now.
01:06:38You're crazy.
01:06:40And actually,
01:06:42maybe I've been doing horrible shit behind your back.
01:06:45I don't know.
01:06:47I don't know.
01:06:49Maybe I've been doing horrible shit behind your back.
01:06:53What?
01:06:55Mr. Sterling had me investigate their company's dealings.
01:06:58Turns out they've been fudging the numbers
01:07:00on your shared accounts and contracts.
01:07:02Put it simply,
01:07:04they've been stealing from you.
01:07:06I can't believe I didn't realize.
01:07:08Ms. Lockhart, I'm so sorry.
01:07:10I should have had third-party accountants check thoroughly.
01:07:13No, it's not your fault.
01:07:15They're just too slick.
01:07:18Oh, God, no. Not that again.
01:07:20Please.
01:07:22Max, you know what to do.
01:07:37The banks have pulled all of our funds.
01:07:39All business ties have been severed.
01:07:41We're bankrupt!
01:07:47How did you do that?
01:07:49Who are you?
01:07:51And don't say Spider-Man.
01:07:55I'll tell you who I am.
01:07:58I'll tell you who I am.
01:08:02I am...
01:08:04Crypto Punk Number Two.
01:08:06What did he say he was?
01:08:08That's more bizarre than Spider-Man.
01:08:10You're Crypto Punk Number Two?
01:08:13Well, I'm Crypto Punk Number One.
01:08:16You are Number One at something.
01:08:18The most expensive NFT collection in the world.
01:08:21Forget Forbes' list.
01:08:23It's all about young money now.
01:08:25So, how about our date?
01:08:33I'm not letting them one-up me on this one.
01:08:35I'll spy two.
01:08:47They forgot to cancel my contract.
01:08:50I still have the $100 billion project.
01:08:53Yes! I'm rich!
01:08:56I think I'll make them all pay soon.
01:09:05What?
01:09:06Mr. Cooper, sir.
01:09:07The Maple Plaza contract requires us to provide 50% of the costs up front.
01:09:11Otherwise, it's a breach of contract and will be revoked.
01:09:14Otherwise, it's a breach of contract and will have to pay for all financial repercussions.
01:09:18No!
01:09:20I'm bankrupt.
01:09:23I need you to loan me my car.
01:09:24You tricked me!
01:09:31Oh, allow me.
01:09:35I'm sorry I was late, my queen.
01:09:37I had to get some very important materials...
01:09:41for our special date.
01:09:43Well, cheers.
01:09:45Cheers.
01:09:55This looks good.
01:10:01Did you use my spices?
01:10:03I know your ex-in-laws never appreciated you.
01:10:07You can have all the money and power in the world...
01:10:10and you still can't force a man to love you.
01:10:14I couldn't even remember our anniversary.
01:10:20Angela...
01:10:22your future...
01:10:24with me...
01:10:26is going to be different.
01:10:28Come on.
01:10:30We can dance.
01:10:37Come on.
01:10:50Wow.
01:10:52Devon, I can't believe this is what I've been missing out on these past few years...
01:10:57just because of some silly mistake.
01:11:00Angela...
01:11:02I've known and loved you for three whole years.
01:11:05Actually...
01:11:07I've also loved you for three years.
01:11:09That's right.
01:11:11I fell in love with you three years ago, too.
01:11:13How is all of this possible?
01:11:16I didn't meet any of you until recently.
01:11:19Well, actually...
01:11:21maybe Devon, but...
01:11:24I've had a crush on you since college.
01:11:27You were my motivation to go to business school.
01:11:31Despite who you were...
01:11:33you chose me for being poor.
01:11:37Are you trying to get hired at Fortune 500...
01:11:41in a suit like that?
01:11:45All you do is babble on and on about...
01:11:48Internet money, Bitcoin, and shit like that.
01:11:53Are you trying to steal my spot?
01:11:57I'll teach you a lesson.
01:12:00Hey! Get away from him!
01:12:03Fancy girl. I like her.
01:12:16How is he?
01:12:18It's a rare poison...
01:12:19made from a mixture of dried roots found in Africa.
01:12:22Astragal, saltif.
01:12:24Can it be cured?
01:12:25I actually think I know that poison.
01:12:27It sounds really scary, but its cure can actually be found in any developed country.
01:12:31Household salt.
01:12:40I like her.
01:12:43There you go.
01:12:45Time is up.
01:12:48Oh, shoot. I'm late for swim practice.
01:12:57I like her.
01:12:59We have been rivals ever since.
01:13:01So, that's how I...
01:13:04well, we...
01:13:06all met.
01:13:07I barely remember.
01:13:09I should have never let you go to swim practice that day.
01:13:11Matthew Richards...
01:13:13the guy who poisoned me...
01:13:15attacked you out of revenge.
01:13:16You wouldn't have known.
01:13:17I did hear you dropped out and became a loan shark, though.
01:13:20If that makes you feel any better.
01:13:21Yeah, I think that suits him a little better.
01:13:24Angela, your seven days is almost up.
01:13:27Now that you know they all loved and fought for you for three years,
01:13:31who will you pick?
01:13:37How can that be?
01:13:39Angela Lockhart is an heiress?
01:13:46Kaylee, we've gone bankrupt.
01:13:50Bankrupt?
01:13:51The Vanderbilts have gone bankrupt?
01:13:55Well then, get out of here!
01:13:58You can't do this to me!
01:14:02Jared!
01:14:03Mom, it's me.
01:14:04What happened?
01:14:06Jared, I have carefully reconsidered.
01:14:09Angela is way better than this dimwit.
01:14:11You should get back with your wife.
01:14:13We're bankrupt.
01:14:15What?
01:14:19Jared Cooper.
01:14:22We're here to recompose your belongings.
01:14:26No one is going to save you now.
01:14:33What kind of an asshole throws his own mother to the dogs?
01:14:39Who will you pick?
01:14:43I...
01:14:49I brought you fried chicken.
01:14:50Fried chicken?
01:14:51Hey, not all girls like sushi and caviar.
01:14:54Yeah, he's right. I did live in Atlanta for three months.
01:14:57Sucking up last minute!
01:14:59At least I don't speak like an AI robot.
01:15:01Hey, stop. Stop.
01:15:05Welcome back to the Bachelorette.
01:15:07I mean, the three badasses who want me.
01:15:11I mean, Angela Lockhart...
01:15:14You know what I mean.
01:15:15Today, our heiress bachelorette will choose
01:15:19which one of our three badasses will she marry.
01:15:23Will it be Shane, the doctor?
01:15:27Cole, the general?
01:15:31Or Devin, the CEO?
01:15:36Uh, looks like our bachelorette may need a little more time to decide.
01:15:40Oh, the suspense is killing me.
01:15:43But when she does,
01:15:45she will take this eternal rose made from glass imported from Venice
01:15:49and give it to our winner, Angela.
01:15:55Angela.
01:15:56Oh, I, uh...
01:16:00I need more time to think.
01:16:05Uh, while our bachelorette takes a little time to decide,
01:16:09why don't we check in with each of our candidates?
01:16:12Let's check in with each of our candidates.
01:16:15Let's start with Cole.
01:16:17Cole.
01:16:22There's not much to say.
01:16:24Who wouldn't want a five-star general
01:16:26who has huge biceps,
01:16:28a massive chest,
01:16:30who would protect their wife?
01:16:35Okay, thank you.
01:16:37Uh, Shane?
01:16:40Muscles, money,
01:16:42they won't get you so far.
01:16:44But you need a well-balanced man like me
01:16:46that has more than one way to keep a lady happy,
01:16:49if you know what I mean.
01:16:53Okay, I think we do.
01:16:55And Devin?
01:16:58That was quite disgusting.
01:17:02I just hope Angela's okay.
01:17:04I know she's going under a lot of stress right now,
01:17:07a lot of choices to make.
01:17:09And she's my queen.
01:17:11I just really hope she's okay.
01:17:13And one more thing.
01:17:15What kind of a doctor
01:17:17brings fried chicken to a girl?
01:17:19That's a good point.
01:17:21It's bad for her heart.
01:17:24And then you!
01:17:25What?
01:17:26You know what they say about military men.
01:17:29They beef their wives.
01:17:32What?
01:17:36Enough!
01:17:38Stand up!
01:17:41Hey, you guys.
01:17:43Whoa, break it up!
01:17:45Hey!
01:17:46Break it up!
01:17:51Cut to commercial!
01:17:53Cut to commercial!
01:18:02Cut to commercial!
01:18:12This is the hardest decision I've ever had to make in my entire life.
01:18:17Who do I choose?
01:18:26Angela's marrying me!
01:18:27You're not stealing her from me.
01:18:29Oh yeah?
01:18:30I may be a doctor, but like I said,
01:18:32I know and possess the deadliest poisons in the world.
01:18:38What don't you have in that coat?
01:18:40Fruit flavored gum.
01:18:42I won't let you take Angela away from me.
01:18:44I'll fight you to the death.
01:18:46Don't forget about me.
01:18:48It's time I reveal my true identity.
01:18:53These stupid profile cards don't make any sense.
01:18:56They do not help.
01:18:58Who made these?
01:19:17It's time I reveal my true identity.
01:19:22I'm actually a part of the X-Men.
01:19:26And I have the power of telekinesis!
01:19:44We may have to work together to take him down.
01:19:56This battle within our heads is the most intense I've ever experienced.
01:20:00I may not be able to take them both down if they decide to team up.
01:20:04Hmm.
01:20:05Winterment or coolment?
01:20:11You know,
01:20:13I've always really liked your hair.
01:20:15Really?
01:20:16I'm actually pretty self-conscious about it.
01:20:20So I appreciate that.
01:20:23And you know,
01:20:25I've always really liked the way you talk.
01:20:29Really?
01:20:30Yeah.
01:20:33What do you got for me?
01:20:35I always really like the way you chew gum.
01:20:39Yeah?
01:20:40It's fresh, right?
01:20:44You're actually a really good talker.
01:20:47You need me to look at you?
01:20:49I got you.
01:20:50Me?
01:20:52Angela's been kidnapped!
01:20:54Angela's been kidnapped!
01:20:56It was Jared Cooper!
01:20:58That fucker!
01:21:00We have to find her.
01:21:01What, how?
01:21:02Her ring.
01:21:03Her dad installed a GPS tracking mechanism on her ring just in case.
01:21:06Well, let's go then!
01:21:07My phone!
01:21:08My fiancé!
01:21:09My fiancé!
01:21:16Jared.
01:21:18What am I doing here?
01:21:20You destroyed me.
01:21:24I took everything.
01:21:27What?
01:21:28I have nothing left.
01:21:30It's not my fault you're too greedy.
01:21:33I wasn't greedy to have sex with my wife.
01:21:36What?
01:21:38I'm not your wife anymore!
01:21:40Oh yeah, I know.
01:21:41You wouldn't take me back now,
01:21:42not unless I get you pregnant with my child.
01:21:44This is illegal!
01:21:45You wouldn't want your child to be away from its father.
01:21:47You won't have me arrested.
01:21:49You will take me back.
01:21:52Ow!
01:21:53You're my bitch.
01:21:56I'll settle you down a little.
01:22:06You will be begging me to fuck you soon.
01:22:11Hey!
01:22:13Hey!
01:22:15Angela!
01:22:16Come here!
01:22:20You're too late!
01:22:21I drugged her.
01:22:22She'll be dead soon unless...
01:22:24And yet, have you forgotten who I am?
01:22:27He really does have everything in his coat.
01:22:29Everything except for...
01:22:30Yeah, except for fruit-flavored gum.
01:22:31We get it already.
01:22:32Just save my boss!
01:22:36Here you go.
01:22:42You're all good now.
01:22:44Oh, thank God.
01:22:46But what do we do with that piece of shit?
01:22:48What?
01:22:49What are you going to do to me?
01:22:51Hey, stop!
01:22:52No, don't!
01:22:54Enjoy your erectile dysfunction forever.
01:23:02Glad we didn't actually have that fight.
01:23:04Turns out he's the most dangerous of them all.
01:23:12So who did you pick, sweetheart?
01:23:14We've invited the most important figures of the world to your wedding.
01:23:17The Prince of Bhutan.
01:23:19And remember, we will kill ourselves if you don't choose.
01:23:27Welcome back to the finale of...
01:23:29The Three Badasses Who Want Me.
01:23:32We're down to the wire.
01:23:33Literally.
01:23:34The wedding day.
01:23:35But who's the groom?
01:23:43Welcome back to the finale of...
01:23:45The Three Badasses Who Want Me.
01:23:47But who's the groom?
01:23:51Uh...
01:23:52Seems our heiress still hasn't decided.
01:23:56Any input from the parents?
01:23:58Maybe that will help sway our bachelorette's choice.
01:24:01Well, this is exciting!
01:24:03Who should my daughter pick?
01:24:05I don't know.
01:24:06I don't know.
01:24:07I don't know.
01:24:08I don't know.
01:24:09I don't know.
01:24:10I don't know.
01:24:11You should let your daughter pick!
01:24:13Let me think.
01:24:17I like the Doctor.
01:24:19He's cute.
01:24:22But the General looks like a strong fellow.
01:24:26And we can't forget about Devon Sterling, the one who's loved her the longest.
01:24:30Isn't that right, Devon?
01:24:32Angela.
01:24:34You are all three very fine gentlemen, and I'm really grateful for all of your love.
01:24:48But this was a really hard decision, and I decided to devise one last challenge.
01:24:59I'm just kidding. I'm just as sick of this as you guys are.
01:25:05Each of our candidates have saved our main character. I mean, Bachelorette, once.
01:25:11They've all proven their undying love. So who gets to unlock Angela Lockhart's heart? Literally.
01:25:19Could it be Angela Lockhart?
01:25:24Could it be the sexy and protective, general with a temper, Mr. Cole Eisenhower?
01:25:34Or the fun, wicked-minded, but kind of weird, Dr. Shane Wilson?
01:25:46And last but not least, could it be the richest man of them all,
01:25:53the man Angela would have married a long time ago, Mr. Devin Sterling?
01:26:00Gentlemen, it's been a pleasure getting to know you.
01:26:04It has. May the best man win.
01:26:07May the best man win.
01:26:10Drumroll, please.
01:26:24Seriously, Ricky?
01:26:33I choose...
01:26:44I need a powerful, strong man in my village to feel like he can protect me.
01:26:51Who could resist those guys?
01:26:55Would it interest you in an N.F.D., Ellen?
01:26:57Would you like a full-body checkup?
01:27:12Shane, it's you. I'm lovesick for you.
01:27:16You like that minty flavor, don't you?
01:27:21It's that tongue action, ladies and gents.
01:27:24Ellen, be my new queen. I hope we can build together.
01:27:27Let's make guns, babe.
01:27:40It's always been you.
01:27:47I'll always love you.
01:27:52Let's give it up for those nine inches, everybody.
01:27:55Ellen, would you like a full-body checkup?
01:27:58Have you seen my murdering weapons?
01:28:00I need fruit-flavored gum for you.
01:28:17I love you.
01:28:38I, Selene Lovett, accept my role as Nightwind's pack Luna...
01:28:43and your wife.
01:28:46I, Alexander Kane, fucking love you.
01:29:05Wow. Two alphas together.