"Nobody Tells You How Traumatic..." | The Art of Beauty EP10 Redefining Self Image After Motherhood
Join our host Amanda Imani as she sits down with the inspiring Sophia Khan, beauty influencer and founder of Ulu Soleil, to discuss Redefining Self-Image After Motherhood.
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00:00Nobody talks about like, you know, like how traumatic
00:04Like our birth. Yeah childbirth is like I had no idea what to expect and I fractured my tailbone
00:13Hi everyone, welcome back to season 4 art of beauty and this is episode 10
00:19I can't believe it's episode 10, but I have a very very special guest today. We have the beautiful Sofia with me
00:26Hi
00:28How are you doing? You look wonderful, by the way. Oh, thank you. So do you? I'm good. Very good excited to be here
00:33Yeah, I'm excited to have you here. So today's topic is all about
00:37motherhood and redefining self-image
00:40So like you mentioned earlier, we've been like kind of Facebook friends for a while
00:44But I know actually the first time we're meeting each other
00:46Yeah, I can't be easy taken so long for us to actually sit down and have a chat, right?
00:50Yeah
00:50And I remember like way back when like when we were a lot younger like, you know
00:55I would see you so many of your cool pictures, but now you are a mom
00:59Yeah, a lot of change a lot of change. You also have your own brand. Yes, so you're juggling so many different things
01:05Maybe you could tell us a little bit about yourself and a little bit of like what you do
01:09It's a lot of juggling. I think so. It's kind of a balancing act
01:12Like I think for the most part like I'm a mom first. Yeah, so I have two kids
01:16I have a 10 month old and a four-year-old so
01:21Day to day is kind of just like I I try to balance like maybe I get two hours of work in per day
01:26Depending on the day, you know, some days are more demanding than other days, right in terms of my kids
01:31But yeah, it's a juggling act for sure. Yeah. Yeah, I guess that's what it is like being a mom, right?
01:36But you did mention you also work from home
01:38So, how did how is that working like I'm sure it's difficult already having kids
01:43But then having to work from home and having your kids kind of around it's really I mean, it's tough
01:48Like I love it. Like I would not change it. Yeah, I certainly wouldn't want to go into an office every day
01:54I mean like it's for some people but it's not for me. It is really hard, but
01:58It's super rewarding, right? Yeah, and like like I keep going back to like the juggling aspect of it
02:04It's really hard to like find that balance. Sometimes I feel like that balance doesn't even really exist
02:08You know, it's like some days you give like a hundred percent to like your work and you know
02:12Maybe like you sacrifice a little bit on the parenting aspect of things
02:16But I still wouldn't change it for the world because I get to be around my kids and I get to see them and it's hard
02:22Like it's definitely hard, but it's amazing
02:25Yeah
02:25But I mean I feel like ever since I saw your pictures when I before I met you
02:30Yeah, kind of look the same honestly, really really that is such a compliment
02:35You look you know, like how I remember you look like years ago and
02:43Yeah, yeah, but like what did you have like a like a self-image like change like pre mom post mom
02:51Did you ever see yourself differently after you had kids? Yes
02:54I think motherhood like absolutely like tears you apart breaks you down and like in in many ways like rebuilds you
03:02I think I actually
03:04Begun to understood myself a lot better after I had my first kid. Hmm. Yeah, it was that like more of like, you know your
03:13Your life choices your lifestyle or just like, you know your outlook in life in general
03:18Both. Yeah, my lifestyle 100% change. I think that's inevitable like it happens when you become a mom like your priorities change. Yeah
03:26You develop a lot more clarity
03:28I think my goals are also like more defined because I feel or I felt like when I had my first son like my first
03:34child, yeah
03:35Okay. I love this kid more than anything and I want to I want to make this world like a great place for him
03:41I don't want his life to be hard
03:43So, you know, it's just like a it's it's a natural thing that happens like you want to give them the best
03:47So therefore like your goals start to become more defined for the sake of your child and your family and yeah
03:52Yeah, yeah, did you always you know plan to have kids like early on in your life or I always wanted kids
03:59I think I I always knew I wanted kids. We certainly didn't plan for it to happen as early as it did
04:05I
04:06got married at
04:0828 or 27 God, I can't remember. Okay. Um, yeah, we got married and a few months later. We were pregnant
04:14Yeah, but it was a good time right to kind of actually it was kind of crazy how it happened because it was COVID
04:21So like Dan my husband we planned like a whole honeymoon thing obviously everyone wants to do like the honeymoon, you know
04:26It's fun. And of course we wanted to enjoy like time just us as a married couple
04:31But as it turns out like COVID hit. Yeah, so we wouldn't have like been able to go on that honeymoon anyway
04:37So I literally got pregnant and then COVID happened and then I gave birth during COVID. So yeah, yeah
04:43It kind of worked out. Yeah, definitely. Look at you now and how was that for you?
04:48what was like you're you know, I have a few friends that are now also moms and I'm always so interested to see like their
04:54whole like
04:55Pregnancy journey and their their motherhood process because it's different for everyone. It is like for you
05:01Okay, I found pregnancy like super difficult. I'll be completely honest like pregnancy was really hard for me
05:06Although with that being said like my two pregnancies like my first and my second were extremely different. I hear them
05:13Yeah, so I don't know what dictates that but with Cameron my firstborn
05:18I had HG which was like a it's basically morning sickness, but like around the clock so you can't keep food down
05:24I'm really gross
05:25But it's also really really like you could I couldn't even have like water and keep it down
05:29So it was so bad that I had to be hospitalized and get like on a drip and stuff because I was like severely
05:34Dehydrated so I was like losing weight into my second trimester when you're actually supposed to be gaining weight
05:39and it was all down to like this condition called HG, but
05:43That subsided
05:45Towards the end of my second trimester. So it got better, but it was still really hard and then nobody talks about like, you know
05:51like how traumatic
05:54Like Albert. Yeah childbirth is like I had no idea what to expect and I fractured my tailbone. Oh my god
06:01I know I didn't even know that was a thing. Oh, yeah, so never heard of that. I know is that is that quite common?
06:06I don't think it's necessarily like common. It can happen according to my doctor
06:11It can happen but it's not common and but it's an extremely painful injury and there's nothing you can do really for recovery aside from
06:18Breast which is an impossibility when you've just had a baby. I'm like you're breastfeeding right? So my doctor's advice is like
06:23Don't walk up any stairs. Don't walk. Don't run sleep on your back
06:27Like basically basically his advice is all the things you kind of couldn't do if you're planning to be like a really hands-on
06:33Right mom and like carry your kid. And yeah, so it was tough. My first pregnancy and delivery was tough second pregnancy was easier
06:41Yeah, I'm still hot
06:43I know they can't someone love it. Like I have some friends who are like, oh, you know being pregnant is amazing
06:48I wish I could just you know, keep having babies and be pregnant
06:50I'm like, oh my god, I want to be you. I wish I could say that for myself. I guess like you said, yeah
06:55Everybody's different. I know I've also had some friends really
06:58Yeah, it was a breeze like, you know walk in the park and I was like, oh my god
07:00I'm like, you know pregnant slap pregnancy glow, right?
07:03I didn't really did not have that like I got acne like I was yeah, my hormones were clearly haywire
07:08So I got like breakouts and like, you know, I was uncomfortable all the time and in pain and yeah pregnancy was not fun
07:14Yeah, yeah
07:16But during that time were there any like beauty practices you did or any sort of like, you know
07:21Mantras that you told yourself to kind of get yourself through that
07:25Beauty practices. I mean like I would call it like a self-care practice
07:28I feel like when you're pregnant you absolutely need to do like self-care for yourself because especially for your first pregnancy because your body changes
07:36So rapidly and no one kind of warns you for it like you you don't really know what's coming until it happens, right?
07:43This is my experience like I need to clarify. That's my experience
07:46but like, you know, like and for me like everything changes, it's like your skin changes like your
07:52Chest like your boobs. Yeah breast change like everything changes. Yeah, so, um, I
07:57Found like when I was pregnant like my belly was massive like it grew pretty big pretty quickly
08:02And so you get itchy cuz like your skin is stretching. Yeah, and it gets drier
08:06So I tried all sorts of products like, you know
08:08They're the usual stuff like what they recommend for like pregnancy. So like the bio oils, right the world
08:13Um, I tried loads of things and nothing really like eased it for me
08:17Until like one of my friends actually gifted me like like just pure share
08:20But I'm like African Jim, but I like I can't even remember the brand but I tried it and I was like, oh my god
08:25It's actually working. Mm-hmm
08:27So I just started doing that kind of religiously and that's actually kind of how loose or they came about it was like I fell
08:33In love with the magic of shea butter. Yeah, and yeah, that's how our body bombs came about. Okay. Wow. Yeah
08:38Yeah, so just a little off topic. Let's talk a bit about your brand
08:43So you mentioned that that was one of the things that inspired you to start? Oh, yeah. So I
08:48Recently met Sophia at a Harvest Bazaar
08:51Beauty Awards and that product won an award
08:54So I'm so excited to try it
08:56But can you tell us a little bit more about like how you started it how it came about why you started it and you?
09:03Know what the products are really?
09:04Yeah, sure
09:05So you've kind of gotten the gist of it in a sense that like I started it when I was pregnant and shea butter was
09:10What worked for me like pure shea butter by the way
09:12So it can't be like so loads of products on the market have shea butter in them
09:16But they're just like tiny amounts like trace amounts of shea butter
09:19So the key for me like what actually really worked for me during pregnancy was the fact that it was pure
09:25So the body bombs that we made are infused to it. We have two body bombs the one that you're talking about that one
09:31The best body bomb category at Harvest Bazaar, that's our retinol body bomb
09:34So that's basically like over 90% shea butter and it's infused with retinol
09:38But obviously retinol is not recommended for pregnancy
09:41So if you're like breastfeeding or I'm pregnant like you shouldn't use it or you're advised not to basically
09:47So we have like another version called the shea butter and hyaluronic plus vitamin E version
09:53Which is fantastic for pregnancy fantastic for breastfeeding completely safe and it like really works
09:58So we've kind of revolutionized the application of shea butter in that it's instead of like putting it in a jar
10:04We're like cuz that was one thing that really bothered me when I was pregnant like, okay
10:07Shea butter is so great. Like my skin feels so good. But oh my god, it's messy
10:12Like it's really it can be greasy and messy and it kind of gets on everything
10:15So I was like, why can't we like put it in a tube and then just like, you know, like yeah like a deodorant
10:20Yeah
10:21And then um, you know
10:22Like we did a lot of research and a lot of the people like the R&D people we spoke to were like no can't be
10:27Eventually like we cracked it and we found a formulation that worked and like the we managed to get the shirt
10:32Shea butter solidified with the active ingredients and yeah, we arrived at the body bums
10:37In this little cardboard tubes like okay
10:40So let's just talk about like some of the I guess like, you know motherhood stuff
10:44Yeah, like a lot of moms always talk about like stretch marks. Oh, yeah, I skin all that
10:48Yeah, have you did you go through that? Do you because you know what guys come on?
10:52She doesn't look like she came birth 10 months ago. Honestly, that's crazy to me. That's no
10:59Like, okay. So this is the thing like first pregnancy versus second pregnancy
11:02I think my mindset was very different of course because like I said, um, nobody warns you for what's about to happen to your body
11:08So I feel like if there's more awareness more understanding more
11:11Appreciation moms wouldn't have such a hard time like dealing with like their body changes during the first pregnancy
11:17But I feel like it's not normalized enough. Mm-hmm. So during my first pregnancy
11:20I think like full disclosure. I definitely like dealt with some like body issues. I'm like, oh my god, what's happening to my body?
11:26Like, oh my god, my stomach. Oh my god, my thighs my hips, you know, but like in my second pregnancy
11:31I'm like, oh, yeah, you know like bring it like I'm excited. Yeah, you know, like I'm gonna embrace
11:36Yeah, I'm gonna embrace this and also like I mean, it's pretty powerful like what your body is doing
11:40Like you're not just creating life
11:42but you're carrying it and you're nurturing it and like your body your body's going through so much and
11:47Like it's also gonna it's also gonna go back, you know, maybe not to like the state that it was like pre baby
11:53But like that's okay. Yeah. Yeah, so like my my I suppose like my relationship with like stretch marks and all those things
12:01During my first pregnancy wasn't so positive. It wasn't healthy. I would say
12:06so it took time like it took time for me like for me to understand and kind of like
12:10Do work on myself and accept accept these things accept them as like, you know
12:15Things are actually pretty empowering. Like I'm pretty lucky to be able to experience all this
12:19Yeah, you know and be healthy whilst doing it. Mm-hmm. So during the second pregnancy, I think I breezed through it a little bit more
12:25like breezed
12:30Relatively speaking like comparative. Yeah. Yeah
12:33Yeah, so like my stance towards stretch marks and you know, even like me freckles, you know
12:38I've got freckles and that took me time to accept but now like I love them like I love I do have stretch marks
12:44But not on my belly. So I had stretch marks like pre-pregnancy. Okay. Yes
12:48I did use like, um share butter on my belly whilst I was pregnant. So you're so lucky to not have stretch marks
12:54Like yeah, but I have stretch marks like in other places, you know, like you stretch, you know, like you grow
12:59Yeah, any rapid and like, you know weight loss like any sort of exactly and I think a lot of people also don't like
13:06Normalize that people always assume that you only get stretch marks or you know, like all these are so normal
13:11Yeah, it's so normal. You don't have to even you know be going through pregnancy to get absolutely not
13:16You can make guys have stretch marks like it's it's normal like yeah
13:20Yeah, yeah set things like cellulite all those kind of things like people like make a big deal out of it when it's really just you
13:25Know very just skin. It's just it's not like um, yeah, it's not like an evil medical condition. I think that's bad for you
13:32It's just skin. Yeah, yeah, really and you know, you did mention to me also like you were not so huge on like the whole like
13:40Confinement aspect of yeah. Yeah. Okay. So to clarify during my first pregnancy. It was COVID
13:47So I think I was a little bit like I think most people during COVID, you know
13:52There was a massive anxiety surrounding like illness and I'm like, oh my god
13:55I can't let like a random person into my home. It's my I was very protective of my baby
14:00I think we're just normal and you know
14:02we first give birth because it's all just like such a new thing and all these emotions and hormones like
14:06Kind of just hits you out of nowhere and so that was kind of why I think with my first pregnancy
14:11I didn't do the whole confinement thing. Yeah
14:15So with my second pregnancy, I did try
14:17It didn't work out
14:20Like it just it wasn't for me like I think too many rules. I like my independence
14:27Like I have a lot of friends who swear by it and you know like to each their own like I'm sure it's great for
14:32Some moms and like they love it. I will say like the massage aspect of confinement is fantastic though
14:38Like I love I loved getting massages, but you know, it's like come back on this really, you know, I'm just like well, okay
14:44Yeah, I really need this
14:46Right now. I'm hungry
14:48things like that and then also like
14:50It was I just found it very restrictive. It depends on the type of person you are
14:54Yeah, and I also like I couldn't stay at home
14:56like I wanted to go out for walks and right like I also had like a
15:00Three-year-old at the time who I've got like a routine with so I didn't feel like just because I'm you know
15:05I've just because I've given birth. I need to I couldn't neglect him. I felt bad. Yeah. Yeah, I understand that
15:10I'm going out and getting fresh air
15:14Definitely, yeah, but let you know like throughout your pregnancy like were you a very like cautious
15:20Either or like were the things that you were very strict about first pregnancy. Yes. Yeah second pregnancy
15:29I mean like the things obviously like raw meat. I don't have raw meat. I think in my second pregnancy
15:35I did have sashimi, but I think they're like, I think it's actually like, okay. I'm not sure don't write me
15:40I'm not like a medical professional, but I was definitely more lax in my second pregnancy
15:46Yeah, I mean, I generally try to like maintain like an overall healthy diet. Yeah, of course. Yeah. Have you always been like a healthy?
15:53person
15:55No, definitely not no, no
16:01No, I mean like I used to love junk food like it's so bad, but I did I mean it's so bad, but so good
16:07Yeah
16:08But now I'm like more conscious of that stuff. I feel like the more like
16:13Research I suppose you do as you get older the more you understand like, okay, this stuff is so yummy
16:17but it's not detrimental to my health and also like my partner has played like a massive role in kind of
16:24Rewiring me and my relationship towards food. So he's really like, um, he's very disciplined like to him
16:30It just comes naturally like it's really easy. So he's sugar-free completely like alcohol-free completely. He's very disciplined, you know
16:36So sugar-free is difficult
16:39Okay, like so that's what I would say as well
16:41but like if you speak to him like it's actually so frustrating sometimes because he's like no it's not it's easy and I'm like
16:46In Malaysia, I feel like it's a bit of a challenge
16:48so we cook a lot like we we cook at home a lot, but
16:52Even when we don't like if we were to go out and stuff
16:54We just kind of like he tends to order like whole foods
16:56So for example, like if I were to go out to like, I don't know yellow like a brunch plate place
17:01For example, I order like scrambled eggs avocado like toast
17:04But whole foods generally obviously have less processed sugar or like no process. Yeah, so he will eat fruit sometimes
17:12so I'll have like
17:13Natural sugars like, you know from dance or whatever, but not we're not like, yeah, exactly
17:17So you would never have a slice of cake or chocolate? Oh my god. I know
17:22It's amazing like I aspire to be that way, but I'm not but he doesn't have like those like, you know
17:27Craving no, so he according to him like it
17:30They're really easy to kick like when you hit the two-week period you kind of just don't crave sugar anymore
17:34Your body just doesn't like want it. I guess according to him. Yeah
17:40Like it's yeah, maybe it's an individual thing
17:42I haven't gotten to that level like also his personality and mine are very different like he's got a very like extreme personality
17:48He's like a hundred or nothing
17:49Like if we have a bar of chocolate at home, like he will smash that entire chocolate bar
17:53Whereas I can have like a square and I'm good. Okay. Yeah. Yeah, does that make sense?
17:56Yeah, but that's so interesting like how you guys are so different but at the same time like, you know
18:01You mentioned also your parenting styles are different. Yeah, we did. So that's the thing. It's like interesting
18:05I feel like I'm very like similar core values, but very different upbringings. Like, you know, he was brought up in
18:11The UK I'm I was brought up in Malaysia and like my mom's like I'm from a mixed family
18:15But still like, you know, we have I have a lot of like I suppose like Asian Valley values. Yeah, so it's definitely been
18:23We've worked to kind of come to where we are now. Mm-hmm
18:26Yeah, so it's a lot of compromise a lot of understanding a lot of work a lot of healing even yeah
18:31But like nowadays now that you have two kids
18:35How do you prioritize your self-care like having you know, juggling two kids and a beauty brand?
18:42so self-care
18:44To me like that's actually quite simple. So I am one of those people like I do need my down time
18:49Yeah, so I spent all day with my kids also working
18:52So like again juggling act but at seven o'clock the babies are asleep
18:56So we have like seven o'clock night like seven o'clock the next day to kind of just like have dinner together
19:01You know like just you know connect
19:03Also do a little bit of work at night even but also just to if I want to do self-care
19:07Okay, this evening. I'm gonna I'm gonna do my own thing. Do your own thing? Yeah, and yeah
19:11I mean, I guess that's like a healthy balance as well
19:14you know for yourself to also just kind of I guess unwind and and
19:19Just kind of kick back and do something for yourself because I yeah, you're always doing things for your kids
19:24Yeah, what's like, you know some of the things you do for yourself. Is it like maybe like you do?
19:28I don't know. Do you mask at home or do you enjoy your cooking for yourself?
19:33Or I I cook like two times a day at least. I definitely
19:38I
19:41Mean like, okay, maybe once in a while like if actually Dan cooks for me my husband and he's a fantastic cook
19:47So that like to me, I mean, can you call that self-care? I think yeah, like if my husband cook right dinner
19:51That's pretty nice. And he does it quite often. Okay, but my idea of like self-care is probably like time alone
19:57Mm-hmm. Yeah where it's like, you know, I'll run a bath like a really really hot bath
20:01yeah, and you know put a mask on you know have a scrub and light a candle and just kind of read a book and
20:06Yeah, yeah escape like you don't need to be out doing it like for me like a hot bath is it's great
20:12Yeah, yeah
20:13I mean do you have any tips for maybe like moms or moms to be like watching this, you know kind of
20:20Then how do you balance it? Like you said like it's quite difficult. I mean every day is kind of different, you know
20:26I do find that balance. Yeah, so like my advice to like new moms. I can only speak on my experience
20:31So like I'm probably projecting like my experience here
20:33But I feel like I wasn't prepared enough for motherhood
20:36So I didn't understand like, you know people they post perfect pictures on social media looking like, you know
20:42Like your hair is done your makeups done like your body's perfect like, you know, and like, you know, everything looks picture-perfect
20:47So that was like what my expectation of motherhood was gonna be like so it literally hit me like like, you know
20:52Like a bus like when it happened for real cuz I'm like, whoa like sleep-deprived
20:57No one tells you like so I decided to like again fully your choice
21:00But like I decided to fully breastfeed. Mm-hmm. And let me tell you like breastfeeding is hard work. I'm still breastfeeding
21:06So I'm like going on four years. No, I'm I've surpassed four years of breastfeeding, but it's hard work
21:11Like, you know a baby's tummy is like tiny so, you know, you don't feed them every like four or five hours
21:16You feed your baby every two hours
21:18so that means like
21:19You know on average like in a 24-hour period like you are waking up every two hours to feed your baby
21:26And no one can really help you with that right if you're fully breastfeeding
21:29It's different if like you're expressing which is also heartbreaking itself
21:32Like, you know mothers who choose to pump but I think my advice would be like do your research really figure
21:39Figure out like what you want like have a plan
21:42Talk to your partner about the understanding and the arrangement like, you know, this is gonna be your role
21:47This will be my role because I think teamwork like really does make the dream work. Like motherhood is such a
21:53beautiful experience
21:54But it's really important to have support like whatever your support is
21:57Like just you got to make it work and you got to communicate that to your partner if it's your mom helping just whoever it
22:02Is yeah. Yeah. Yeah, so do your research and like plan. Yeah and see like what works for you, I guess exactly
22:08Yeah, for sure
22:09But like for you was there ever a moment where you felt like you need to like reinvent or rediscover yourself
22:18after you've had children, um
22:20kind of like finding yourself or oh
22:23That's a tough one, okay
22:24Um, I feel like I definitely lost my identity a little bit in motherhood
22:28I think that might be a fairly normal thing because I've discussed this with some friends and I think it takes time like for me
22:33It took a really long time because I was like I was really in the throes of motherhood like it kind of became my whole
22:39Personality. I kind of still feel like it is like
22:42Me, you know, like I love it
22:46But in yes, so I suppose yes, like I definitely felt like I had an identity crisis like oh my god
22:52like who am I like, am I still that person but you know, like it changes like you kind of
22:57Rediscover yourself or or you find out like what your true calling really is for me. Anyway, mm-hmm
23:01Yeah, that is pretty interesting because I like I said
23:05I also have some friends and now that I meet them there, you know
23:08Their whole life is literally their kids and I can totally understand that but when I see them now versus like how I met them before
23:14They had children. They're like two separate different people, which I think I mean, that's the whole like progression
23:19I wouldn't call it like necessarily like an identity change or crisis. It's not
23:24yeah, so like I when I say like I feel like I lost my identity what I mean by that is more like in
23:29Becoming a mother. I think when you're parenting someone else like that brings up like a lot of feelings
23:34I think or like memories or experiences from when you were little and I I think you've kind of got to start
23:39Reparenting yourself like it's almost like I got to know myself a lot better after having kids
23:44Like I understood myself a lot more like I learned to say no to people, you know
23:49Which is something I kind of think in the past. I've may have struggled with you know, I'd be like, yeah, sure
23:53Okay, let's do this. Let's do that
23:54Whereas now I'm like, no I value my time like I'm not gonna go out and do this like it's not personal
24:00I just need I need to be at home right now for myself setting boundaries
24:04You're exactly boundary setting just but like all sorts of things. So I feel like motherhood for me was very very healing
24:09I didn't realize I had so much healing to do but I did. Yeah, you know and I'm like, okay Wow
24:14I think also that one of the beautiful things about you know, becoming a mom
24:18Yeah, I learned so much just from that like I've been very lucky though, because of course, you know, it can go both ways
24:24So to be conscious of that, you know and be gentle and patient with yourself is really important. Yeah. Yeah
24:30So like what would you say to moms who are maybe struggling with like, you know
24:35their self-image like how they look how they feel and
24:38You mentioned you also were a little kind of like not wanting to go out
24:42Point where you just know like
24:44Like I think if I could speak to myself like four years ago
24:48I would like I would probably tell myself like give yourself grace like, you know
24:52Acknowledge what your body is doing like be patient and be kind like this is gonna sound so hippie
24:57but like your body hears you you know, like all the thoughts that you're having like, you know
25:01Make your make your mind like a pretty place like a beautiful place to be so, you know
25:05Be kind have kind thoughts like especially about yourself. Yeah and understand that it's a process
25:10Yeah, and also I think you know
25:12A lot of people don't realize like, you know, bringing up kids and having a kid even like your support system, right?
25:18Yeah, your community around you your friends and family play a huge role. How is that like for you?
25:24I mean you mentioned that you know, your your husband is really hands-on with yeah
25:28I'm like very very lucky
25:30I am grateful like every day for the husband that I have because he's he's such a great dad
25:34Yeah, like he's so good to our kids like he's super hands-on. Mm-hmm
25:39Which is invaluable, yeah. Yeah, but in terms of like a village I
25:44Feel like it's controversial
25:46But like I don't think I had like that village that I dreamed of that that
25:51You know, I see a lot of people around me who are like, you know
25:54Like they got their parents around and they got like loads of siblings helping out and stuff and like I fully get it
26:00It's not like it's not my mom's responsibility. It's not my my sister's like they're so good with my kids
26:05Like they love them to death, but you know
26:07Everyone's got their own life and I think that's just the nature of society in this day and age
26:10Like everyone works. Everyone's got a social life. Everyone's got their own goals
26:14So you can't really expect to have that village anymore, but you do need to like figure a plan out
26:21like because
26:22You kind of have you've got to have help like whether it comes from like, you know
26:27Literally like paid help or like your husband or like, you know, whatever it is
26:30Like you do need like a village of support. So I think personally I I struggled with
26:36And my expectation not meeting reality which made it much harder for me
26:41I'm glad it yeah, because I think we sometimes like we think we assume like yeah, I was gonna play
26:46Oh, wait, so it's the assumption and I think it's like, oh, no
26:52So, right, right
26:53Yeah
26:53I think it's also the same thing like you mentioned with pregnancy itself like a lot
26:57Oh, yeah, because you never really know until you're actually going through it, right?
27:00Absolutely, like you don't expect like you read things on like articles, but that's the thing
27:05I don't think I even read enough. Oh, yeah
27:06I feel like I just like walked into it kind of blind
27:09It was that like the goal like you just was like you were like, you know what? I'm just gonna do this
27:13No, it wasn't planned. So like we got married
27:15We'd you know, like I said, we plan to go on a honeymoon and take our time with that and a few years
27:20Please but yeah, so basically I was on I'm birth control
27:23Yeah
27:23So I went to the doctors a guy knee actually and he he said to me like oh
27:28You need to get off birth control because you have PCOS blah blah blah and I'm like, oh, okay
27:33Really? And then he's like, yeah, you're really gonna struggle to get pregnant and I'm like, right
27:37Okay, so I in hindsight really should have gotten a second opinion because he was totally wrong. Oh, he's like number one
27:43I did not have PCOS. I don't know how he like managed to I don't know that. Yes, exactly and I got
27:50Pregnant like within a month of going off right? Yeah, so
27:54Yeah, get always get a second opinion. Exactly. Yeah
27:57I
27:59Like just and plan if you can it's important to understand like a financial like situation
28:04Oh, yeah, like the assumed roles for both parents like your support your village. Yeah
28:09Before we end what are you know?
28:12Some of the other tips you would give moms that are you know, maybe struggling like, you know
28:18Sometimes not everyone is as blessed to have you know, a caring husband or supportive husband
28:23Sometimes there are moms who are single moms who are bringing kids up alone
28:27Yeah, I mean, I guess if you could give them some words of affirmation
28:33Just yeah, you know some words of support like how what would you tell them like to prioritize during their pregnancy and you know
28:41After giving birth, okay
28:43Like I couldn't again only speak on my experience that it is for me like the hardest work
28:48I've ever done like literally the hardest but it is absolutely like hands-down the most
28:53Rewarding work I have ever done like nothing
28:57For me nothing rewards me like oh my god
28:59I get emotional I think about it, but like nothing is as rewarding as being a mom for me
29:04Yeah, so even if you are going through a hard time
29:06I think you've you've really got to have faith like a mother's love for their child. I feel is
29:12You know, it's it's indescribable reading like the bond that you have with your child like, you know, it will get you through
29:18Yeah, so yeah, just keep going just keep going
29:20Hey strong
29:20but if you also like it's important to say though like if you do have somebody you can talk to always talk to someone like
29:26Even if they can't physically do something for you
29:28Like it always helps to like alleviate that burden, you know
29:30Like when you talk to someone you get a perspective and you just you know, a burden is lifted, right?
29:35Yeah, so talk to people, you know, just reach out and yeah, keep going cool. Yeah
29:42So, um, I guess before we end what can we expect to see from you in the next, you know a few years like
29:49Your brand and maybe also yeah, you know, I'm actually we've got a lot in the pipeline. Yeah
29:54So yeah, we are really excited about it and we are dropping new products
29:57Finally after like two and a half years on the market. We've only we've got like a small product range
30:02So only five products, but um, we've done research and it's taken a while
30:06but we're ready really excited to drop new products at the end of the year this year and
30:10Early next year like fingers crossed. We've actually got exciting news
30:13I'm not supposed to say like what exactly is happening
30:15but I can tell you that we will be launching in stores with like one of like
30:22Beauty's biggest retailers
30:26Okay, that's really exciting that must be really cool and I mean it's a lot like, you know
30:31It's kind of the it's always been the end goal for us. So so we'll say that
30:34I'm so excited
30:36Fingers crossed that it happens. Okay, I'm sure we will. Oh, we're here to support you. I'm sure whoever's watching you're like, yeah, okay, so
30:44But yeah before I let you go
30:45Where can we find you on social media like if you want to keep up with you and your life my Instagram?
30:51I'm an Instagram. Yeah, literally just Instagram so you don't have to talk. I know I really need to get on tick-tock
30:55But oh my god, I'm like tick-tock illiterate. It's very overwhelming. Yeah
31:00And I also not relatable
31:02So we can find Sophia
31:05Got it. Yeah. Yeah. Thank you again so much for coming on to this episode so much fun
31:10Yeah, it was so much fun for me. I actually feel like yeah, I've had girl time. I loved it
31:14I loved it cuz I feel like I can learn so much from because I I mean obviously I'm not a mom
31:18But I feel like you know, just hearing like what you have to say
31:21It's different for everyone. So I think whoever's watching as well who's maybe, you know expecting or you know
31:28I need to have a kid like, you know, just know that you're not alone
31:31Everybody's absolutely. Yeah, I'm just taking it's your own journey. It's your own journey. Yeah, so once again, thank you so much Sophia
31:38It was a pleasure having you on this episode and with that
31:43I'm gonna say bye everybody
31:47Thank you next season hey fingers crossed thank you for watching and I'll see you guys hopefully soon
32:01You