Sister Wives S19 Episode 4 - How the Mighty Have Fallen
Sister Wives Season 19 Episode 4
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00:00Previously on Sister Wives.
00:03McKelvie's pregnant with twins, and so we have to have
00:05a party to celebrate that.
00:07Hello.
00:09Hey, Tony.
00:10McKelvie's like, dad and Rob on her hair.
00:12Your stuff.
00:13Oh, thank you.
00:14Well, I haven't seen Christine in months.
00:16Hi.
00:17I kept my distance and did not greet Christine
00:21because she told me she didn't want a relationship,
00:23and I don't want to push myself on her.
00:26Is your marriage with Cody over?
00:28I feel like I'm on trial.
00:29Like, I'm being cross-examined.
00:31It's really complicated because there's no legal marriage.
00:33He's not talking to me about it, so I think I'm
00:36going to have to lawyer up.
00:38Cody and I are officially done.
00:40Oh, jeez.
00:41I'm upset that I was neglected and abandoned.
00:45I'm just Rob, and I'll leave him.
00:46You know, I know who I am.
00:48I'm confident in who I am, and he's going to wake up one day
00:51and be like, wow, what the hell did I just do?
00:55He's going to be accountable for that,
00:58whether he likes it or not.
01:28Hi, and I come to Oma.
01:31Babies.
01:33Oh, hi, Archer.
01:36Hello, Ace.
01:38Oh, my gosh.
01:39Hi, boys.
01:40Your Oma missed you so much.
01:43I missed you.
01:44I didn't see you all day.
01:47McKelty just barely had the twins.
01:49Like, Ace and Archer are so cute, so delightful,
01:52but they're really newborn.
01:54Like, she had to have them cesarean section
01:56in the hospital.
01:57She left pregnant, and less than an hour later,
01:59she came back with twins.
02:01It's amazing.
02:02How was your first night home?
02:04It was good.
02:04You know, that's like a record.
02:06You had your cesarean.
02:07I don't think it's a record.
02:08Yes, it is.
02:09You were in the hospital for one night.
02:11Ace and Archer are fraternal twins.
02:14You can definitely tell who is who.
02:16So last night, I was definitely hurting a lot.
02:21Worst night of sleep of my entire life, honestly.
02:24My stomach, just because everything's loose in there,
02:27would kind of move over and slide,
02:29so it would pull the scar.
02:30So no matter how I slept, it hurt so bad.
02:35But then I'd also have to get up and then sit up
02:38so that I could hold the baby and try
02:40to nurse one of the boys.
02:42And Robin helped me through all of it.
02:44What did we do?
02:45Oh, we put a mattress pad down in our closet.
02:47Robin slept in the closet.
02:48Seriously.
02:49And she had both boys with her, and then when they would wake
02:51up and be hungry, she brought the boys to me,
02:53helped me sit up and stuff.
02:55And then I'd feed one of the boys,
02:56and then give the boy back to Robin,
02:58and she'd go back to bed.
02:59So I know that some people think, well,
03:01why are you sleeping in the closet?
03:02That's weird.
03:03But then it's just like, well, it's really close.
03:05It's convenient.
03:06Their closet's huge.
03:07You know, just I could be close.
03:10She didn't get any sleep.
03:11She's sleeping right now.
03:12She doesn't even, and she wouldn't want to.
03:16Guaranteed, Robin didn't sleep at all.
03:18There's no way.
03:18But she got to hold the babies.
03:20That's the most important part.
03:22Isabel.
03:23Hey.
03:26I'll trade you places.
03:27I'm right behind you.
03:28I know.
03:29McKelsey, you birthed the most beautiful babies.
03:32They're so little.
03:35I'm really grateful that, you know, Robin could be there,
03:38and she really was helpful, it sounds like,
03:40especially with those first few hours.
03:44I can remember when Logan was born.
03:47Christine was brand new in the family.
03:49She and Cody had just married a few months ahead.
03:51And I remember Christine keeping Logan for me one night.
03:54And that was the most awesome thing,
03:56because, like, I could sleep.
03:57And so having somebody do that while you're at home
03:59in your own bed resting is huge.
04:03Look, I will say, when it comes to the kids,
04:06we really hope that we can all co-parent together peacefully.
04:09So the babies slept good.
04:10How was Avalon with them?
04:11So I kind of put one of the boys in her arms for a second,
04:15and then she started crying.
04:17Wait, what?
04:18Tony had a kid, and I had a kid.
04:20Do you, like, realize that we're not holding her?
04:24It was sad.
04:25That's one of the saddest things I've ever heard.
04:26Yeah, it was rough.
04:27Our whole world revolved around Avalon, and she knew it.
04:32And in one day, everything changed,
04:35and everything became hard.
04:37I'm sorry, you guys.
04:38I'm so sorry.
04:40She looked at her mom, and she looked at her dad,
04:43and she realized her whole world was gonna change.
04:45It's so sad.
04:46We're gonna need to spend some extra time
04:48with Avalon for sure.
04:50Oh, you got Maria here.
04:51How long is Robin gonna stay?
04:52She wants to be home for Thanksgiving.
04:55So no matter what, I think she'll leave Wednesday.
04:57Thanksgiving is less than a week,
04:58so I'm gonna be making Thanksgiving dinner
05:01because it's McKelty's year to host.
05:03I'm gonna cook a little bit, hold the baby,
05:05cook a little bit, hold the baby.
05:06So this year has little to do about the food.
05:10What is cool is, so Jessie,
05:11one of the labor and delivery nurses,
05:15she was the one that kind of took care of,
05:16she was one of the nurses that took care of Archer
05:18when he came out.
05:19They both had their own team.
05:20Hey, Robin.
05:22Hey.
05:24I hear you slept in the closet with the babies all night.
05:28That's night of your life, right?
05:29I'm partied too.
05:30Nice.
05:32Did you sleep well?
05:33Did you have a good nap?
05:34Good.
05:35Yeah.
05:36My desire and intention has always been
05:41to have a good relationship with Christine.
05:43That's what I'm putting forward.
05:45Maybe this is kind of laying a foundation
05:48for future interaction, you know, so that it's positive.
05:52So time-wise, they're probably not too hungry.
05:55It's more like, oh, my milk came in.
05:57Yay.
05:58Yeah, so they're, they've been really enjoying it.
06:01Oh, I bet.
06:03Partially since they both had the real thing too,
06:05now they're like, I want it, I want it.
06:07They don't necessarily need the food right now.
06:09I got them to take bean teasers.
06:11That's amazing.
06:13That's amazing.
06:14That'll help.
06:15And they're going to keep taking them, maybe?
06:17Yeah.
06:18Yeah, it's a little bit awkward that Robin's here.
06:20Of course, you know, we're not on the best of terms.
06:25I wish I didn't feel awkward.
06:26That's just stupid.
06:27That's the last, it's not even about me at all.
06:32Yeah, so here, a funny story.
06:33Yes.
06:34Robin last night was like a prophet.
06:37Like the kids were like super unsettled.
06:40She's like, they need to poop.
06:41And so she comes over here and opens one up,
06:45and then he started pooping on command.
06:48He did?
06:49Yeah.
06:50Yes.
06:50It was so funny.
06:51Good.
06:52He was like pooping, and then they're like,
06:53okay, we'll wait.
06:54And that, so I went through like three diapers
06:57because he just kept pooping and pooping.
07:00Nice.
07:01I know that the dynamic between my mom
07:04and Robin is really difficult.
07:06This new transition that my family's going through,
07:08it's hard, but I think that it just stands up
07:12for the incredible character of both of my moms,
07:15that they're able to work with each other
07:18for somebody that needs them.
07:22When Robin came in the family and it was obvious
07:24her and McKelty had a great relationship,
07:26it was everything that I hoped for.
07:27When I was so excited about having a plural family,
07:30I was hoping that my kids would have a great relationship
07:33with other moms.
07:33It's great that McKelty has a great relationship
07:35with Robin.
07:36It's what I've always wanted for my kids to have.
07:39But like you take,
07:40just taking the kids out of the bassinet too
07:42and just keeping them with you helped so much.
07:44Cause I was like, okay, I don't have to worry.
07:45I don't have to do anything.
07:47Robin's got the kids.
07:48I'm going to pass out.
07:49And I solid passed out.
07:52Yeah, Christine was great.
07:53We just co-grandparented
07:54and that's kind of always what I've wanted.
07:57I understand and I have to respect
07:58that she doesn't want it the same way.
08:00And I know that she was probably just making sure
08:03that she was supportive to Tony McKelty,
08:06which I appreciate.
08:07And so it worked out.
08:08It was fine.
08:10It was great.
08:16I just had to leave the twins
08:20and Avalon and Tony McKelty.
08:22And I just don't want to go.
08:24I've had the most beautiful experience with those babies.
08:28The family's in a weird place,
08:29as I guess you would expect from a divorce.
08:32The struggles that we have had have been so foreign
08:37from what our family was.
08:39It's been such a sweet experience
08:42being a part of all of this
08:44and being there at the hospital
08:48and helping taking care of the babies
08:49and getting to bond with them.
08:53And I just really love being a grandma.
08:58I'm having a very difficult time connecting
09:01with all of my kids.
09:03And of course, twins being born
09:05is going to give us all something special,
09:08something maybe that heals,
09:10helps to move things forward.
09:15I don't know if it'd heal anything between me and ex-wives,
09:17but I'm going to have to go see those babies.
09:20I got to see those grandkids.
09:21So I'm going to be excited to go see them.
09:23And this is going to give us more opportunity
09:25to open the doors with my children.
09:28I don't know.
09:29I don't know why I'm going to go home
09:31and not see them every day.
09:33I'm having a hard time even thinking about it.
09:35It's just been such a sweet, sweet experience.
09:43So you want some darkness, right?
09:46Robin and I don't behave like a married couple
09:48when my other wives are around.
09:50So we weren't acting like a married couple
09:52with Mary in our presence.
09:54I've heard Cody say multiple times how awkward it is
09:57because he can't show the affection to Robin that he wants.
10:00I just really don't want to go be a third wheel.
10:03I just want to be with the baby at Robin and Cody's house.
10:15You have to go like that.
10:17OK, we'll look in there.
10:19Gravy?
10:20Yes.
10:21OK.
10:22All right.
10:23So I guess we're working about you later.
10:25This is the first Thanksgiving that Robin and I are having
10:27with just our children alone.
10:29We have never had this before.
10:31of tentative plans to take a trip to California
10:34over Thanksgiving, and that fell through.
10:37Yeah, Robin did reach out and ask
10:40if I wanted to go over there for Thanksgiving,
10:44and I'm not going to do that.
10:45That's just weird.
10:50Last year, Mary was here with our Thanksgiving,
10:52and it was a pleasant experience.
10:54But Robin and I don't behave like a married couple
10:57when my other wives are around, so we
10:59weren't acting like a married couple with Mary
11:01in our presence.
11:02That's mostly on Robin.
11:03To be fair, that's because Robin is
11:05very sensitive to other people.
11:06She wants to be very careful about their feelings.
11:08So when Mary's there with us at our Thanksgiving,
11:11I'm not close with Mary, and now I'm no longer close with Robin
11:15because Mary's present, and Robin
11:17wants to be sensitive to Mary.
11:20I've heard Cody say multiple times
11:22how awkward it is that I'm even there because he can't show
11:26the affection and the adoration to Robin that he wants to,
11:29and I'm not going to inhibit that.
11:32I'm not a member of the family.
11:36I just really don't want to go be a third wheel
11:39at Robin and Cody's house.
11:45Aw, there we go.
11:51What this year, this Thanksgiving this year,
11:53is about and what we're most grateful for
11:55is those babies being healthy, and we're just
11:58grateful that they have this little family now,
12:00and everybody's doing great.
12:04Isabelle's here, Aspen and Mitch,
12:06and then we have Tony's family.
12:08Tony's mom, Maria, dad, Antonio, and then some of his siblings
12:12are her as well.
12:15So Gwendolyn came into town with her girlfriend, Bia.
12:18Gwendolyn and Bia together are adorable.
12:20They're a cute couple.
12:21They're really cute.
12:22If they wanted to get married, I'd be fine with it.
12:24Just saying.
12:25I'd be fine.
12:29So this year, Logan and Michelle are hosting Thanksgiving
12:32in Las Vegas at their house.
12:33They just bought a house.
12:34We're going to be there.
12:35It's going to be very fun.
12:36Oh, OK.
12:37With the garlic cloves, do we want to smash them?
12:39I want to smash them and put them in there.
12:41Peyton is Christine's biological son,
12:44and he always says to me, well, you're my other mom.
12:47So I only had one boy, just Peyton,
12:49and he escaped living a house full of women all the time.
12:53Like, he is my kid, but he's not my biological child.
12:56But it doesn't seem any different.
12:57He just fits right in with all my boys.
12:59It just feels like he belongs there.
13:02He was always over at Janelle's house.
13:03He's definitely benefited from me living
13:06with him because he has so many brothers now, and he loves it.
13:08Him doing Thanksgiving with Janelle is just awesome.
13:13You want some of the drumstick?
13:15I want the drumstick.
13:17Drumstick?
13:17I want a drink, but I don't know about that.
13:20I want a drink.
13:21I want a drink.
13:22But I don't know about that.
13:24I love my children, and we're having a nice time,
13:27but I miss the family.
13:29I miss the big experience.
13:31Hey, listen, very exciting to have all you here
13:34for Thanksgiving.
13:35This is a very nice layout.
13:36Thank you, ladies, for this setup, all the food
13:39that's been cooked.
13:40It's very nice.
13:41Thanksgiving was always such a big deal
13:43when we were all together as a family.
13:45We'd have 50 people over.
13:46Like, we never had Thanksgiving that was small.
13:50We originally started out with the vision
13:52of having one family, and we worked very hard.
13:55Even when Robin came, we tried very, very hard
13:57to still have that one family identity.
14:01I never imagined that we would not ever
14:03spend Thanksgiving together, but I'm
14:05really enjoying the smaller Thanksgiving,
14:07and I'm with people I want to be with.
14:09It's actually fun.
14:10I'm enjoying it.
14:11Are you good?
14:12I'm really struggling in many ways
14:15that it still feels like something's missing.
14:18This is small.
14:19There's just the seven of us.
14:22It's quiet.
14:23It feels safe.
14:24By safe, I simply mean that we are all in a state of respect
14:29with each other.
14:2910 years ago, I was safe for everybody,
14:33but they weren't safe for each other.
14:37It shows me in so many ways the dysfunction of just the basics
14:43in plural marriage.
14:45I've heard that Mary is not going
14:47to be spending Thanksgiving with Cody and Robin, which
14:49kind of surprised me, and I wondered
14:51who she was going to be spending it with.
14:52I hope somebody.
14:56I think Mary deserves a lot more,
14:57and I think it's time for her to do something different.
15:00I felt that for a while, and she still is around.
15:04I don't really plan on telling anybody
15:07about mine and Cody's decision.
15:09I don't feel like it's necessary for me
15:11to go make a big announcement about it.
15:15I'm actually staying in town.
15:18It's just going to be an easy day of just getting
15:22caught up on work.
15:23Logic says that when a man and a woman
15:27decide they're not going to be married any longer,
15:31they also therefore don't spend Thanksgiving together.
15:40See right there?
15:40That's what Thanksgiving's about.
15:42It's just these babies laying on Tony and sleeping finally.
15:45I mean, come on.
15:48The kids are a week old today.
15:49Oh!
15:50Congratulations, baby.
15:52Happy week birthday.
15:54I want my other children in my life.
15:56I don't know how to do that.
15:57I believe.
15:58I'm grateful for the faith and hope
16:02that I have that things get better in the future.
16:11So yeah, I miss everyone, and I wish we were together some.
16:18Yeah.
16:23It's a trigger point for me.
16:25I'm tired of being angry.
16:27I just don't understand why you're not like,
16:31like just talking to the kids as much as you can.
16:33Like, I just don't know why you're not
16:34reaching out to them more.
16:36Oh, I'm having a hard time not like feeling like losing
16:43respect for you a little bit.
16:48Oh!
16:58So it is Tuesday, the week after Thanksgiving,
17:03and I spent Thanksgiving here in my bed, sick.
17:09Mary had told us she wasn't going
17:10to do Thanksgiving with us.
17:12She was going to do it with her children.
17:14Like, I found out later that she was at home sick.
17:17I just was like, oh my gosh, she's right here.
17:20After my conversation with Cody in April,
17:29I had already kind of made the decision
17:32that I wasn't going to spend Thanksgiving
17:34with Cody and Robin.
17:38I mean, I don't know exactly what's going on with Mary
17:41and Cody's relationship.
17:43Like, I heard that they were separated,
17:46and I don't know where she's living.
17:51I really have no idea.
17:52I don't really talk to Mary, so I'm not sure.
17:57I think that me being sick, honestly,
18:00is just my body's way of saying, hey, it's time you stop
18:06and you think about this and you figure it out, so.
18:16Earlier this morning, Robin and I got into a conversation
18:38after we got the kids to school.
18:40Robin is extremely upset that I'm not reaching out
18:44more to my children.
18:47I was putting pressure on Cody to work on his relationships
18:51with his kids, and it triggered him and it upset him.
18:56Well, this all just came to a head.
18:57Our voices are starting to raise.
18:59I'm not going to sit here and fight with you
19:01and have a rift in our relationship caused
19:05by these people who have created the biggest rift in my life.
19:10I'm not doing that, OK?
19:13So I just decided I needed to take off.
19:17So Cody's coming home.
19:19He let me know he's on his way.
19:21I have to talk to him more about this.
19:23I have to have it sink in.
19:25It's just something that is just eating at me.
19:27I'm so worried about these kids.
19:33Hey.
19:33Hi.
19:35How are you doing?
19:36Good.
19:37Come back, and maybe we can finish.
19:43Good conversation.
19:44You feeling a little better?
19:46I'm a little emotional.
19:48Well, I mean, you can't.
19:49I'm just thinking about what you're saying, so.
19:51Well, do you mind if we talk about it?
19:52Are you in a place where we can talk about it more?
19:54Yeah.
19:55It's a trigger point for me, you know?
19:59I'm tired of being angry.
20:01I know.
20:02I'm tired of it, too.
20:03It's hard.
20:04I'm tired of feeling betrayed.
20:06What has happened is, in the divorce,
20:09and the divorce is, the ugly finger of blame has come out.
20:13Dad, you were never at my house.
20:14I'm sorry, I had four wives.
20:16I was at your house, though.
20:18Because the other wife was complaining
20:20that I was at your house.
20:21I just don't understand why you're not, like,
20:26just talking to the kids as much as you can.
20:28Like, I just don't know why you're
20:29not reaching out to them more.
20:32This has been going on for so long.
20:35They're trash talking.
20:36They're hurting.
20:37Robin, you saw how they were at the wedding.
20:43I recently went to a family wedding.
20:44The whole family was there.
20:45There was so much animosity from some of my family.
20:49There's a couple of my kids wouldn't even
20:51engage me at the wedding.
20:53Some of them wouldn't even talk to me.
20:55But some of the kids have flat out rejected me.
20:57I know.
20:57You saw Madison take her kids and scuttle them away from me.
21:00Yeah, I saw.
21:01She never told me she was pregnant.
21:03She never told me she was going to have a baby.
21:05The only thing the kids are upset with him
21:07is the way he has treated his family, the way he
21:09has completely, like, ditched out.
21:12And really, Maddie doesn't have any contact with him.
21:14She is very protective of her children.
21:16Cody has not been there since Evie was born.
21:19And Evie's three and a half.
21:21And she didn't want him to just drop in and, like, be like,
21:25oh, I'm your grandpa, and then be like, what?
21:27Who is this guy?
21:28Like, you know what I mean?
21:29It's unrealistic expectation for grandparents
21:31to be in their grandchildren's lives all the time,
21:33especially if you move your children
21:38to an entirely different coast.
21:40I have work and a life in Flagstaff.
21:43They're purposefully leaving me out of their lives
21:47to punish me for a crime I did not commit.
21:50I am only guilty of not falling madly
21:53in love with their mothers.
21:56Well, Madison actually called Janelle,
21:59saying dad said he didn't love you.
22:02I know, but couldn't you, like, reach out to her?
22:04Every time I talk to her, she spreads gossip about me
22:07to the rest of the family.
22:09I never said that I didn't love Janelle.
22:11On the contrary, I actually said that I loved Janelle.
22:13This is some rumor that was created in the family
22:15that just sowed division.
22:17Our family was killed by gossip.
22:22Cody has this narrative about Madison
22:24where she's such the gossip, but he is as big of a gossip.
22:28He'd always say that Mary was difficult
22:31or Christine was a whatever.
22:32Like, he would always say things like that to me
22:34about Mary and Christine.
22:36He never said it about Robin,
22:38but he would say stuff about Mary and Christine.
22:40What they've done is they've got,
22:42there's all this contempt that they have for me.
22:47Listen, I need.
22:48I'm just having such a hard time with this.
22:51Well, I will work, I will reach out to,
22:54I will love those children who will allow me to do it.
22:58And in time, maybe the rest of them will come back around.
23:02You know, you know.
23:08You know that my biological father did not.
23:10I know.
23:11Do what he was supposed to do as far as a dad is concerned.
23:14Yeah, but I've not been doing that.
23:18When I was little, my parents got a divorce.
23:22He lived with one wife in another city
23:24and then my mom lived alone.
23:27I remember confronting my biological father,
23:30saying what happened?
23:32Why?
23:33All he really did was just make a bunch of lame excuses
23:36as to why he wasn't there for me when I was young.
23:39And it just sucked.
23:42To Cody, I'm like, hey, listen,
23:44you don't wanna be this guy.
23:47I know you're hurting, but you don't wanna be this guy.
23:50But don't, I'm just, I'm struggling.
23:53I text one of my kids and they send back notes
23:56saying you are a piece of trash.
23:58I would never speak to you again anyway.
24:01I'm not trying to do anything.
24:02Well, if you sit there long enough and like,
24:05I'm not gonna do it with rejection every single time.
24:09I'm not abandoning my children.
24:11They have betrayed me.
24:13Inadvertently maybe.
24:14But they're kids and they're trying to.
24:16No, they're adults.
24:17They're your kids though.
24:19I know.
24:20They're still young.
24:20But they have animosity.
24:21I do not want to talk to a person
24:24who sits there with so much contempt.
24:27They need you.
24:28They can have me.
24:30They just don't need to treat me like crap to get me.
24:34They are purposefully leaving me out of their lives
24:38to punish me for a crime I did not commit.
24:41The experience with COVID, one, two, three divorces,
24:44the breakup of the family, the different directions,
24:47all the secrecy, all this upheaval,
24:50all this damage, all this tearing us apart.
24:53I don't know how we fix it or when we fix it
24:57or whether we fix it.
24:59It's like, we want to sit down with you, dad,
25:01and blame you for everything that happened.
25:03There's no respect.
25:05Oh, I'm having a hard time,
25:08not like feeling like losing respect for you a little bit.
25:13It's just, I'm trying to be careful and being honest, but.
25:17Robin, did I, do you know of something I did wrong
25:21besides not falling madly in love with their mothers?
25:24Well, every, okay, I'm sorry,
25:25but there's two sides to all of it, okay?
25:28I know that you weren't perfect in those marriages.
25:30They weren't either, okay?
25:32I'm not-
25:33Fine.
25:33But I'm not, I don't think-
25:35Let's go from there.
25:36But every one of those kids who has shut me out
25:40is blaming me for what happened or you,
25:44which is a bunch of crap.
25:46That's just misguided.
25:47And I don't need to sit down with them
25:48and have to defend you.
25:51Usually after I have a date,
25:53I don't like, you know, say anything or anything like that.
25:56But I just had a date with this guy, David.
25:59His pictures were beautiful.
26:01It was him with these eyes.
26:03We've already planned our second date.
26:04I'm just telling you that straight up.
26:06They need you in their life.
26:08They can have me.
26:10All they have to do is pick up the phone and call.
26:12You want to ask the question,
26:13what did I do to deserve this?
26:15What did I do wrong?
26:17Hey.
26:19Okay.
26:22Usually after I have a date,
26:24I don't like, you know, say anything or anything like that.
26:26But I just had a date with this guy, David.
26:30We've been talking for like a month.
26:33I signed up for a dating website,
26:35but I just never got a date.
26:38And I'm like, I'm not sure what's going on with me.
26:41I'm not sure where this is going.
26:43I don't know.
26:44I don't know where this is going.
26:46dating website that is for people with kids. It's crazy, I'm so excited. The first
26:52time that I got on, I met David. His pictures were beautiful. It was him with
26:57these eyes. Pictures do not do him justice. His eyes were beautiful and I
27:01told him, oh my gosh, we're walking into the restaurant and I go, I just have to
27:05tell you, I think your eyes are beautiful. Just like that. And so we met up at a
27:10breakfast place and we sat down at a table and he's like, this is kind of far
27:14away, let's scoot closer to each other. I'm like, okay. So we scooted our chairs
27:17closer to each other and talked. We just started talking about everything. Anyway,
27:22it went so great. At this point, I'm still just not interested in dating. I was
27:29married to Cody for 30 years and Cody is a complicated person. There's a lot of
27:35like what Robin used to call the roller coaster ride and I don't want to do that
27:39anymore. I just want to be me and do me and like pursue my own, pursue my own
27:45things. You know, at this point, I can go to bed when I want, I can get up when I
27:49want, I can do what I want, I can travel where I want. Oh, I love it. It's just fun.
27:56It's easy and it's fun and it's exciting because I can do what I want to do. But
28:03anyway, we just had this date and he's a man. He's not a guy. He's not a dude. He's
28:09a man. He has eight kids. So he goes, how many kids do you have? And I'm like, six.
28:14And it killed me to just tell him I had six kids only. We've already planned our
28:19second date. I'm just telling you that straight up. It's everything I've been
28:22looking for. I'm just saying. I'm putting it all in line on a second date. But if I
28:27can't say who I am, I live polygamy. That's part of, like a really big part of
28:31me. And Janelle's kids and my kids all together, I claim Janelle's kids as my
28:36kids. And I'm gonna do things with Janelle for the rest of my life. And he
28:39probably needs to know that. Just saying.
28:48I don't want to judge Cody, but at the same time, I feel like you just have to
28:54let your kids know you're there. If I were him, I would be calling, emailing,
29:03texting, maybe showing up, flying out there. You know, whatever. Every one of
29:08those kids who has shut me out is blaming me for what happened. Or you. So
29:15what I do, just say, oh, okay, you can call Robin whatever you want? No, you can say
29:19they can talk to me. I would love to work it out with each of them. Any of them
29:24that have an issue. Where this hate for Robin came from, I don't know. But it's
29:29like, if I can't protect her from it, I'm just not going to engage it. She never
29:33did anything to you. What are you complaining about? I just loved her and I
29:37didn't love your mother, okay? So there's the guilt. The guilt lies there. I'm just
29:42having a hard time with this. And I don't want to pile on. I know you're going
29:47through a lot. I know that you're going through a lot. I see you struggling. I see
29:52you angry. And I'm dealing with my own grief about it. It's just, I need to get
30:05this because I just. Robin, I'll make the effort. Okay, so I've spent a year here
30:11just lamenting the situation. When I get over that, those children who are open to
30:17me will get my attention. Well, don't you think you could do a little bit of
30:20communication? At the wedding? Just to let them know it's open? I tried to
30:29connect with Madison. Have you been trying to communicate with them? Gabriel, yes, I
30:34have. Any of the other kids? Hunter, but I'm received with total contempt. I'm
30:39sitting here with a broken heart over these people who have shut me out, that
30:45aren't talking to me. You want to ask the question, what did I do to deserve this?
30:49Like, what did I do wrong? Divorce is hard on kids. Yeah, but it's a total betrayal.
30:55It's not about the divorce. I'm not even talking about their mothers. I know, but
30:59they just, they're getting caught in it. They're, they're getting fed information
31:04that is not true or is one-sided. They can be mad at their mothers ten years
31:09from now when they want a relationship. They need you in their life. They can have me.
31:13All they have to do is pick up the phone and call. All they have to do is answer.
31:19When I call, without having total contempt for me. This argument, this
31:26disparity in relationship with my children is specifically, in my mind,
31:33because of talk. There's this whirlwind of disappointment from the family
31:39breaking up or whatever, and it's like, well, blame dad. Dad screwed up. Right, I
31:46did screw up. I gave up. I gave up on love because it wasn't enough love, and
31:54I'm pretty sure they're gonna say that's dad's fault, and well, it, you can blame
32:00me and I'm fine. Just don't bring contempt to our conversation. I am so
32:08angry that when somebody opens up to me, I'm likely to lash out. I can't, Robin, I
32:13can't even get it straight with you right now. This takes some time. I've got
32:18to get over what has happened and how I've been treated. You need to figure it
32:23out because it's hard on us. I, listen, when the time is right, I'll finally feel
32:27forgiving. I think. I hope. But it doesn't take anything for me to just get
32:33forgiving and then to have one of these... Not even, like, getting on your knees and
32:37asking God for help, or? Well, yeah, I'm pretty desperate. Because I know... But it takes more
32:44than just that. It's going to take a change of heart with me. It's all so
32:49complicated, I can't make sense of it, and when I go to God, ah, there's still a wall
32:56for me. Well, I've completely lost my religion, which is sad.
33:03Sisters from the same mister. She's a sister from the same mister, and he's a
33:09brother from another mother. I feel like Cody was a very present dad in a lot of
33:14ways. To truth be told, that was what made me fall in love with Cody. Seeing him be
33:23present with his kids. Does everybody remember Robin? Yes. Do you guys like
33:28Robin? Yeah. Well, Robin likes us. But he's so hurt by some of the children's
33:35rejection and anger, because he's just like, wait a minute, I was there for you.
33:40Why is your rejection of me is so drastic? It doesn't fit what has happened.
33:45You know anybody who's gone through three divorces in... No. Like, really kind
33:50of almost one or two years. No. Like, Cody, I know... I'm not looking for your pity. I'm
33:56looking for understanding, Robin. I am. I am, don't you... But you're losing respect for me.
34:02Because it just... Is that from your own experience with your father? I mean, I
34:08have not betrayed these kids. I just know how much. I need my dad. My biological
34:17father still, like, my whole life was very absent. Did not fight for the
34:23relationship. Did not care to have one. Still doesn't really care to have one.
34:31I'll see him now and then. He'll tell me how much he loves me, but he's very absent.
34:38The kids who are mad at me get together, and they're all colluding to... Not all, but
34:45they're colluding against me. Okay. It's a betrayal. I want to talk about it.
34:51Listen, they're hurting. Their whole family is in pieces, and they don't know how it's
34:59going to turn out. That's got to be hard for them. Don't you see that? I know. I see that.
35:09And I can be forgiving of it completely, Robin. And it's really tough. It's tough in separations
35:13and divorces. People drag their kids into it. It's hard. It's complicated. Robin...
35:21Kids get very mixed up in their heads. What do you want me to do? I've reached out to him.
35:27I don't want to judge Cody, but at the same time, I feel like... I don't think Cody should
35:34be accepting it. I think that Cody should be camping out on their doorsteps and saying,
35:41hey, you're going to talk to me. Because sometimes that's just what you got to do, is, you know,
35:46when you care about someone, it's just say, hey, you need to talk to me.
35:50Cody, honey, yes, your kids need you. They need you in their life.
35:58I know they're angry right now, but they need you.
36:25Can I just have some time then? Can you give me enough space with this without losing respect
36:33for me? Yeah. Yeah, I will. Yeah. Please just understand, it boggles my mind that I am being
36:42punished for a crime I never committed. Well, they don't understand that. They think I did
36:47something? Yes. What would they think I did? Didn't love their mother? Anything that they've
36:52been told, OK? There was a lot of misunderstandings through COVID. Some of them thought that you
36:58wanted to be here instead of with them, and that's why you made the rules, which is ridiculous.
37:03During COVID, there's two huge mistakes I probably made. I wanted the boys to move out
37:09because they couldn't comply to the COVID rules. That just became sort of a foolish power game.
37:15And one of those mistakes was also not going to Isabelle's surgery. And that put some bad
37:26blood between a bunch of us. In plural marriage, it's tough. It can get confusing for wives and
37:35kids when it comes to the husband and the father. And they can think someone is more important,
37:41or someone is more loved. And I know you love all your kids. With plural marriage, it's very
37:47difficult for a dad to get one-on-one time with kids. He has to be really, really present, but
37:54then at the same time, it's still difficult just because of math, just because time. It's very
37:59natural for kids to kind of become closer to their mother. Just last week while I was skiing,
38:05I was up there. It was nice and sunny, and I texted Gabriel. Yeah. And I just thought,
38:12I just, so I reached out to him. Nothing yet. Keep trying, okay? I'm glad to hear you are trying.
38:20I don't try enough. I know that. That's because it's not safe to go there. And I'm triggering
38:27like crazy. I know you're going through. I don't want to trigger while I'm in a conversation with
38:32them. I'm so angry about what has happened that if I talk to my kids, I'm worried that they'll
38:38trigger me with an accusation. Really, I'll be honest with you. I don't have the bandwidth
38:46yet to go to God in gratitude and try and fill my love tank with the Spirit of God. I'm just
38:52bitter right now. Okay. I'm not going to argue with you anymore. I'm too hot-headed right now,
38:57Robert. Okay. All I'll do is more damage. Okay. I just want, I just want to know you're trying,
39:01okay? Okay. Because this needs, these, these relationships do need to get mended.
39:07You know what, Robert? We've had such a struggle with this. I'd almost rather just take some time
39:13to get in a better place with you and me because I've been in this place for a very, very long time,
39:18and it's hurt us more than it's hurt them. Oh, thank you for saying that. I appreciate
39:26that. It's good to hear. Well, I'm mad as hell, and I'm not meaning for it to come out on you.
39:32My heart is broken when I'm sitting here with the person that I love the most in the world,
39:38and my heart's still broken. What do I do with that? My heart's broken too.
39:44You react with this very special and sweet emotion that you have. I am angry. I'm angry out of my
39:52mind. The kids are, they are always the collateral damage when this happens.
39:58But I'm not trying to damage them. No, but just, just keep trying. That's all I'm asking, okay?
40:05I've had one of my kids just said, you're an ass. I'm never talking to you again.
40:11You manipulated me, and you brainwashed me. Some people think that parental child relationships
40:18shouldn't, don't have to be reciprocal, but when they're adults, yeah, they do.
40:23I'm not going to reach out forever. I'm willing to make the effort,
40:27but somebody else is going to have to be on the other end of that and make some effort too.
40:34I'm not going to camp out on somebody's doorstep. I really need a space to do it. I'm not fixing
40:39this today, tomorrow, or next week. Okay. And with, with the kids who are reaching out to me
40:45and who are listening to me. Just promise me you'll keep trying at least a little bit
40:49until you're ready. Promise me. Okay. A little bit. Just enough, a little bit to let them know
40:58that you, you still care. Please. Okay. They need you when you need them.
41:10Thanks for coming down and talking to me before I went back in the house. I didn't want to go
41:14back to where we were. I know those kids need their dad. They need him. They need him to
41:25try harder. It's, it's his role. He's dad. I don't think he realizes how important that is.
41:34He just doesn't grasp how important a dad is to a child.
41:46Next time on Sister Wives. Okay. So David and I have gone out twice now.
41:51God, he's just solid and he's real. I really like him a lot. Just saying.
41:56I think that Robin definitely has a victim complex.
42:01There's a lot of anger towards Robin. You know what I mean? They're leery of Robin.
42:05But I'm, I'm not hopeful for a relationship with dad and Robin.
42:15For me now, my prayer was just like, save me and Robin. Save our marriage,
42:21save us, save the special after this horrible experience of breaking up.