Sister Wives S19 Episode 4 - How the Mighty Have Fallen
Sister Wives S19 Episode 4 - How the Mighty Have Fallen
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00:00Previously on Sister Wives.
00:03McKelvey's pregnant with twins, and so we have to have
00:05a party to celebrate that.
00:07Hello.
00:09Hey, Tony.
00:10McKelvey's like, Chad and Rob on her hair.
00:12Your stuff.
00:13Oh, thank you.
00:14Well, I haven't seen Christine in months.
00:16Hi.
00:17I kept my distance and did not greet Christine
00:21because she told me she didn't want a relationship,
00:23and I don't want to push myself on her.
00:26Is your marriage with Cody over?
00:28I feel like I'm on trial.
00:29Like, I'm being cross-examined.
00:31It's really complicated because there's no legal marriage.
00:33He's not talking to me about it, so I think I'm
00:36going to have to lawyer up.
00:38Cody and I are officially done.
00:40Oh, jeez.
00:41I'm upset that I was neglected and abandoned.
00:45I'm just Rob, and I'll leave him.
00:46You know, I know who I am.
00:48I'm confident in who I am, and he's going to wake up one day
00:51and be like, wow, what the hell did I just do?
00:55He's going to be accountable for that,
00:58whether he likes it or not.
01:28Hi, and I come to Oma.
01:31Babies.
01:33Oh, hi, Archer.
01:36Hello, Ace.
01:38Oh, my gosh.
01:39Hi, boys.
01:40Your Oma missed you so much.
01:43I missed you.
01:44I didn't see you all day.
01:47McKelty just barely had the twins.
01:49Like, Ace and Archer are so cute, so delightful,
01:52but they're really newborn.
01:54Like, she had to have them cesarean section
01:56in the hospital.
01:57She left pregnant, and less than an hour later,
01:59she came back with twins.
02:00It's amazing.
02:02How was your first night home?
02:04It was good.
02:04You know, that's like a record.
02:06You had your cesarean.
02:07I don't think it's a record.
02:08Yes, it is.
02:09You were in the hospital for one night.
02:11Ace and Archer are fraternal twins.
02:14You can definitely tell who is who.
02:17So last night, I was definitely hurting a lot.
02:21Worst night of sleep of my entire life, honestly.
02:25My stomach, just because everything's loose in there,
02:27would kind of move over and slide,
02:29so it would pull the scar.
02:30So no matter how I slept, it hurt so bad.
02:35But then I'd also have to get up and then sit up
02:38so that I could hold the baby and try
02:40to nurse one of the boys.
02:42And Robin helped me through all of it.
02:44What did we do?
02:45Oh, we put a mattress pad down in our closet.
02:47Robin slept in the closet.
02:48Seriously.
02:49And she had both boys with her.
02:50And then when they would wake up and be hungry,
02:52she brought the boys to me, helped me, like,
02:54sit up and stuff.
02:55And then I'd feed one of the boys
02:56and then give the boy back to Robin,
02:58and she'd go back to bed.
02:59So I know that some people think, well,
03:01why are you sleeping in the closet?
03:02That's weird.
03:03But then it's just like, well, it's really close.
03:05It's convenient.
03:06Their closet's huge.
03:07You know, just I could be close.
03:10She didn't get any sleep.
03:11She's sleeping right now.
03:12She doesn't even, and she wouldn't want to.
03:16Guaranteed, Robin didn't sleep at all.
03:18There's no way.
03:18But she got to hold the babies.
03:20That's the most important part.
03:22Isabel.
03:23Hey.
03:25I'll trade you places.
03:26I'm right behind you.
03:35I'm really grateful that, you know, Robin could be there.
03:38And she really was helpful, it sounds like,
03:40especially with those first few hours.
03:44I can remember when Logan was born.
03:47Christine was brand new in the family.
03:48She and Cody had just married a few months ahead.
03:51And I remember Christine keeping Logan for me one night.
03:54And that was the most awesome thing,
03:56because, like, I could sleep.
03:57And so having somebody do that while you're at home
03:59in your own bed resting is huge.
04:03Look, I will say, when it comes to the kids,
04:06we really hope that we can all co-parent together peacefully.
04:09So the babies slept good.
04:10How was Avalon with them?
04:11So I kind of put one of the boys in her arms for a second.
04:15And then she started crying.
04:17Wait, what?
04:18Tony had a kid, and I had a kid.
04:20She, like, realized that we're not holding her.
04:24It was sad.
04:25That's one of the saddest things I've ever heard.
04:26Yeah, that was rough.
04:27Our whole world revolved around Avalon.
04:30And she knew it.
04:32And in one day, everything changed.
04:34And everything became hard.
04:37I'm sorry, you guys.
04:38I'm so sorry.
04:40She looked at her mom, and she looked at her dad.
04:43And she realized her whole world was going to change.
04:45It's so sad.
04:46We're going to need to spend some extra time
04:48with Avalon for sure.
04:50Oh, you got Maria here.
04:51How long is Robin going to stay?
04:52She wants to be home for Thanksgiving.
04:55So no matter what, I think she'll leave Wednesday.
04:57Thanksgiving is less than a week.
04:58So I'm going to be making Thanksgiving dinner,
05:01because it's McKelty's year to host.
05:03I'm going to cook a little bit, hold the baby,
05:05cook a little bit, hold the baby.
05:06So this year has little to do about the food.
05:10What is cool is, so Jessie, one of the labor and delivery
05:14nurses, she was the one that kind of took care of.
05:16She was one of the nurses that took care of Archer
05:18when he came out.
05:19They both have their own team.
05:20Hey, Robin.
05:21Hey.
05:22Hey.
05:24I hear you slept in the closet with the babies all night.
05:28Best night of your life, right?
05:29I'm comforting, too.
05:30Nice.
05:32Did you sleep well?
05:32Did you have a good nap?
05:34Good.
05:35Yeah.
05:36My desire and intention has always
05:40been to have a good relationship with Christine.
05:43That's what I'm putting forward.
05:45Maybe this is kind of laying a foundation
05:48for future interaction, you know, so that it's positive.
05:52So time-wise, they're probably not too hungry.
05:55It's more like, oh, my milk came in.
05:56Yay.
05:57Yeah.
05:58So they're a, they've been really enjoying it.
06:01Oh, I bet.
06:03Partially, since they both had the real thing, too,
06:05now they're like, I want it.
06:06I want it.
06:07They don't necessarily need the food right now.
06:09I got them, I got them to take bean three times.
06:11That's amazing.
06:13That's amazing.
06:14That'll help.
06:15Do you think they're going to keep taking them, maybe?
06:16Mm-hmm.
06:17Yeah.
06:18It's a little bit awkward that Robin's here, of course.
06:20You know, we're not on the best of terms.
06:25I wish I didn't feel awkward.
06:26That's just stupid.
06:27That's the last, it's not even about me at all.
06:31You guys want to hear a funny story?
06:33Yes.
06:34Robin, last night, was like a prophet.
06:37Like, the kids were, like, super unsettled.
06:40She's like, they need to poop.
06:41So she comes over here and opens one up,
06:45and then he started pooping on command.
06:48He did?
06:49Yeah.
06:50Yes.
06:50Yes.
06:51It was so funny.
06:52Good.
06:53He was, like, pooping, and then they're like, OK,
06:54we'll wait.
06:55And that, so I went through, like, three diapers,
06:57because he just kept pooping and pooping.
07:00Nice.
07:01I know that the dynamic between my mom and Robin
07:04is really difficult. This new transition that my family's
07:07going through, it's hard.
07:09But I think that it just stands up
07:11for the incredible character of both of my moms,
07:15that they're able to work with each other for somebody
07:20that needs them.
07:22When Robin came in the family, and it was obvious
07:24her and McKelty had a great relationship,
07:26it was everything that I hoped for.
07:27When I was so excited about having a plural family,
07:30I was hoping that my kids would have a great relationship
07:33with other moms.
07:33It's great that McKelty has a great relationship with Robin.
07:36It's what I've always wanted for my kids to have.
07:39But, like, you take, just taking the kids out
07:41of the bassinet, too, and just keeping them with you
07:42helped so much.
07:44Because I was like, OK, I don't have to worry.
07:45I don't have to do anything.
07:47Robin's got the kids.
07:48I'm going to pass out.
07:49And I solid passed out.
07:52Yeah, Christine was great.
07:53We just co-grandparented.
07:54And that's kind of always what I've wanted.
07:57I understand, and I have to respect,
07:58that she doesn't want it the same way.
08:00And I know that she was probably just making sure
08:03that she was supportive to Tony and McKelty,
08:06which I appreciate.
08:07And so it worked out.
08:08It was fine.
08:09It was great.
08:16I just had to leave the twins, and Avalon,
08:21and Tony, and McKelty.
08:22And I just don't want to go.
08:24I've had the most beautiful experience with those babies.
08:28The family's in a weird place, as I guess you
08:30would expect from a divorce.
08:32The struggles that we have had have
08:34been so foreign from what our family was.
08:39It's been such a sweet experience
08:42being a part of all of this, and being there at the hospital,
08:48and helping taking care of the babies,
08:49and getting to bond with them.
08:53And I just really love being a grandma.
08:58I'm having a very difficult time connecting with all of my kids.
09:03And, of course, twins being born
09:05is going to give us all something special, something
09:09maybe that heals, helps to move things forward.
09:15I don't know if it'd heal anything between me and ex-wives,
09:17but I'm going to have to go see those babies.
09:19I've got to see those grandkids.
09:21So I'm going to be excited to go see them.
09:23And this is going to give us more opportunity to open
09:26the doors with my children.
09:28I don't know.
09:29I don't know why I'm going to go home and not see them every day.
09:33I'm having a hard time even thinking about it.
09:35It's just been such a sweet, sweet experience.
09:43So you want some darkness, right?
09:46Robin and I don't behave like a married couple
09:48when my other wives are around.
09:50So we weren't acting like a married couple
09:52with Mary in our presence.
09:54I've heard Cody say multiple times how awkward it is.
09:57He can't show the affection to Robin that he wants.
10:00I just really don't want to go be a third wheel
10:02at Robin and Cody's house.
10:12You're going to have to drop right on the bottom of there.
10:17Gravy?
10:17Yes.
10:18OK.
10:19All right.
10:20Saul, I guess we're worrying about you later.
10:22This is the first Thanksgiving that Robin and I are having
10:24with just our children alone.
10:26We have never had this before.
10:28Oh, there's another nice piece.
10:30So I had had kind of tentative plans
10:33to take a trip to California over Thanksgiving,
10:35and that fell through.
10:37Yeah, Robin did reach out and ask if I wanted to go over there
10:43for Thanksgiving, and I'm not going to do that.
10:45That's just weird.
10:50Last year, Mary was here with our Thanksgiving,
10:52and it was a pleasant experience.
10:54But Robin and I don't behave like a married couple
10:57when my other wives are around.
10:59So we weren't acting like a married couple
11:01with Mary in our presence.
11:02That's mostly on Robin.
11:03To be fair, that's because Robin is
11:05very sensitive to other people.
11:06She wants to be very careful about their feelings.
11:09So when Mary's there with us at our Thanksgiving,
11:11I'm not close with Mary, and now I'm no longer close with Robin
11:15because Mary's present, and Robin
11:17wants to be sensitive to Mary.
11:20I've heard Cody say multiple times how awkward
11:23it is that I'm even there, because he
11:25can't show the affection and the adoration to Robin
11:28that he wants to, and I'm not going to inhibit that.
11:32I'm not a member of the family.
11:36I just really don't want to go be a third wheel
11:39at Robin and Cody's house.
11:40Oh, there we go.
11:51What this year, this Thanksgiving this year
11:53is about, and what we're most grateful for
11:55is those babies being healthy, and we're
11:58just grateful that they have this little family now,
12:00and everybody's doing great.
12:02Let's get the bowls up there.
12:03They're clean bowls.
12:04Isabel's here, Aspen and Mitch, and then we
12:07have Tony's family, Tony's mom, Maria, dad, Antonio,
12:11and then some of his siblings are her as well.
12:15So Gwendolyn came into town with her girlfriend, Bia.
12:18Gwendolyn and Bia together are adorable.
12:20They're a cute couple.
12:21They're really cute.
12:22If they wanted to get married, I'd be fine with it.
12:24Just saying, I'd be fine.
12:31So this year, Logan and Michelle are hosting Thanksgiving
12:34in Las Vegas at their house.
12:35They just bought a house.
12:36We're going to be there.
12:37It's going to be very fun.
12:44Peyton is Christine's biological son,
12:46and he always says to me, well, you're my other mom.
12:49So I only had one boy, just Peyton,
12:51and he escaped living in a house full of women all the time.
12:57Like, he is my kid, but he's not my biological child.
12:59But it doesn't seem any different.
13:01He just fits right in with all my boys.
13:03It just feels like he belongs there.
13:05He was always over at Janelle's house.
13:07He's definitely benefited from me living polygamy
13:10because he has so many brothers now, and he loves it.
13:12Him doing Thanksgiving with Janelle is just awesome.
13:17You want some of the drumstick?
13:18I want the drumstick.
13:20Drumstick.
13:21I want a drink, but I don't know about that.
13:24I love my children, and we're having a nice time,
13:27but I miss the family.
13:29I miss the big experience.
13:31Hey, listen, very exciting to have
13:33all you here for Thanksgiving.
13:35This is a very nice layout.
13:37Thank you, ladies, for this setup,
13:38all the food that's been cooked.
13:40It's very nice.
13:41Thanksgiving was always such a big deal
13:43when we were all together as a family.
13:45We'd have 50 people over.
13:46Like, we never had Thanksgiving that was small.
13:50We originally started out with the vision
13:52of having one family, and we worked very hard.
13:55Even when Robin came, we tried very, very hard
13:57to still have that one family identity.
14:00I never imagined that we would not ever
14:02spend Thanksgiving together, but I'm
14:04really enjoying this smaller Thanksgiving,
14:06and I'm with people I want to be with.
14:08It's actually fun.
14:09I'm enjoying it.
14:11Are you good?
14:12I'm really struggling in many ways
14:15that it still feels like something's missing.
14:18This is small.
14:19There's just the seven of us.
14:22It's quiet.
14:23It feels safe.
14:24By safe, I simply mean that we are all in a state of respect
14:29with each other.
14:2910 years ago, I was safe for everybody,
14:33but they weren't safe for each other.
14:37It shows me in so many ways the dysfunction of just the basics
14:43in plural marriage.
14:45I've heard that Mary is not going
14:47to be spending Thanksgiving with Cody and Robin,
14:49which kind of surprised me, and I
14:50wondered who she was going to be spending it with.
14:52I hope somebody.
14:56I think Mary deserves a lot more,
14:57and I think it's time for her to do something different.
15:00I felt that for a while, and she still is around.
15:04I don't really plan on telling anybody
15:07about mine and Cody's decision.
15:09I don't feel like it's necessary for me to go make
15:13a big announcement about it.
15:15I'm actually staying in town.
15:18It's just going to be an easy day of just getting
15:22caught up on work.
15:23Logic says that when a man and a woman
15:27decide they're not going to be married any longer,
15:31they also, therefore, don't spend Thanksgiving together.
15:40See right there?
15:40That's what Thanksgiving's about.
15:42It's just these babies laying on Tony and sleeping, finally.
15:45I mean, come on.
15:48The kids are a week old today.
15:49Oh!
15:50Congratulations, baby.
15:52Happy week birthday.
15:54I want my other children in my life.
15:56I don't know how to do that.
15:57I believe.
15:58I'm grateful for the faith and hope
16:02that I have that things get better in the future.
16:06So yeah, I miss everyone.
16:09And I wish we were together.
16:12So yeah.
16:18It's a trigger point for me.
16:20I'm tired of being angry.
16:21I just don't understand why you're not, like,
16:25like, just talking to the kids as much as you can.
16:28Like, I just don't know why you're not
16:29reaching out to them more.
16:31I don't know.
16:32I'm having a hard time not, like, feeling, like, losing
16:37respect for you a little bit.
16:52So it is Tuesday, the week after Thanksgiving.
16:57And I'm going to be talking to my husband,
16:59Mary, on Tuesday, the week after Thanksgiving.
17:04And I spent Thanksgiving here in my bed, sick.
17:11Mary had told us she wasn't going
17:12to do Thanksgiving with us.
17:13She was going to do it with her children.
17:15Like, I found out later that she was at home sick.
17:19I just was like, oh my gosh, she's right here.
17:22I had already made the decision that I wasn't going to spend
17:33Thanksgiving with Cody and Robin.
17:38I mean, I don't know exactly what's going on with Mary
17:42and Cody's relationship.
17:43Like, I heard that they were separated.
17:46And I don't know where she's living.
17:51I really have no idea.
17:53I don't really talk to Mary, so I'm not sure.
17:57I think that me being sick, honestly,
18:00is just my body's way of saying, hey, it's time you stop
18:06and you think about this and you figure it out, so.
18:21Earlier this morning, Robin and I got into a conversation
18:36after we got the kids to school.
18:38Robin is extremely upset that I'm not reaching out
18:42more to my children.
18:45I was putting pressure on Cody to work on his relationships
18:49to work on his relationships with his kids.
18:52And it triggered him and it upset him.
18:56Well, this all just came to a head.
18:57Our voices are starting to raise.
18:59I'm not going to sit here and fight with you
19:01and have a rift in our relationship caused
19:05by these people who have created the biggest rift in my life.
19:10I'm not, I'm not doing that, OK?
19:15So I just decided I needed to take off.
19:19So Cody's coming home.
19:21He let me know he's on his way.
19:23I have to talk to him more about this.
19:25I have to have it sink in.
19:27It's just something that is just eating at me.
19:30I'm so worried about these kids.
19:35Hey.
19:36Hi.
19:37How are you doing?
19:38Good.
19:39Come back and maybe we can finish the conversation.
19:45You feeling a little better?
19:46I'm a little emotional.
19:48Well, I mean.
19:49I was just thinking about what you're saying, so.
19:51Well, do you mind if we talk about it?
19:52Are you in a place where we can talk about it more?
19:54Yeah, it's a trigger point for me, you know?
19:59I'm tired of being angry.
20:01I know, I'm tired of it too.
20:03It's hard.
20:04I'm tired of feeling betrayed.
20:06What has happened is in the divorce, in the divorces,
20:11the ugly finger of blame has come out.
20:13Dad, you were never at my house.
20:14I'm sorry, I had four wives.
20:16I was at your house, though.
20:18Because the other wife was complaining
20:20that I was at your house.
20:21I just don't understand why you're not, like,
20:26just talking to the kids as much as you can.
20:28Like, I just don't know why you're not
20:30reaching out to them more.
20:32This has been going on for so long.
20:35They're trash talking.
20:36Well, they're hurting.
20:37Robin, you saw how they were at the wedding.
20:43I recently went to a family wedding.
20:44The whole family was there.
20:45There was so much animosity from some of my family.
20:49There's a couple of my kids wouldn't even
20:51engage me at the wedding, some of them.
20:53Wouldn't even talk to me.
20:55But some of the kids have flat out rejected me.
20:57I know.
20:57You saw Madison take her kids and scuttle them away from me.
21:00Yeah, I saw.
21:01She never told me she was pregnant.
21:03She never told me she was going to have a baby.
21:05The only thing the kids are upset with him
21:07is the way he has treated his family, the way he
21:09has completely, like, ditched out.
21:12And really, Maddie doesn't have any contact with him.
21:14She is very protective of her children.
21:16Cody has not been there since Evie was born.
21:19And Evie's three and a half.
21:21And she didn't want him to just drop in and, like, be like,
21:25oh, I'm your grandpa.
21:26And then be like, what?
21:27Who is this guy?
21:28Like, you know what I mean?
21:29It's unrealistic expectation for grandparents
21:31to be in their grandchildren's lives all the time,
21:33especially if you move your children
21:38to an entirely different coast.
21:40I have work and a life in Flagstaff.
21:43They're purposefully leaving me out of their lives
21:47to punish me for a crime I did not commit.
21:50I am only guilty of not falling badly
21:53in love with their mothers.
21:56Well, Madison actually called Janelle,
21:59saying dad said he didn't love you.
22:02I know, but couldn't you, like, reach out to her?
22:04Every time I talk to her, she spreads gossip about me
22:07to the rest of the family.
22:09I never said that I didn't love Janelle.
22:11On the contrary, I actually said that I loved Janelle.
22:13This is some rumor that was created in the family
22:15that just sowed division.
22:17Our family was killed by gossip.
22:22Cody has this narrative about Madison
22:24where she's such the gossip.
22:26But he is as big of a gossip.
22:28He'd always say that Mary was difficult
22:31or Christine was whatever.
22:32Like, he would always say things like that to me
22:34about Mary and Christine.
22:36He never said it about Robin.
22:38But he would say stuff about Mary and Christine.
22:40What they've done is they've got,
22:42there's all this contempt that they have for me.
22:47Listen, I need.
22:48I'm just having such a hard time with this.
22:51Well, I will work.
22:52I will reach out to, I will love those children
22:55who will allow me to do it.
22:58And in time, maybe the rest of them will come back around.
23:01You know, you know.
23:04You know that my biological father did not.
23:07I know.
23:08Do what he was supposed to do as far as a dad is concerned.
23:11Yeah, but I've not been doing that.
23:14When I was little, my parents got a divorce.
23:18He lived with one wife in another city
23:21and then my mom lived alone.
23:24I remember confronting my biological father
23:27saying, what happened?
23:29Why?
23:30All he really did was just make a bunch of lame excuses
23:32as to why he wasn't there for me when I was young.
23:36And it just sucked.
23:39To Cody, I'm like, hey, listen, you don't want to be this guy.
23:43I know you're hurting, but you don't want to be this guy.
23:47But don't we, I'm just, I'm struggling to.
23:49I text one of my kids.
23:51I'm starting.
23:51And they send back notes saying, you are a piece of trash.
23:55I would never speak to you again.
23:57I'm not your daughter.
23:58I would never speak to you again anyway.
24:01I'm not trying to do anything.
24:02Well, if you sit there long enough and like.
24:05I'm not going to do it with rejection every single time.
24:09I'm not abandoning my children.
24:11They have betrayed me, inadvertently maybe.
24:14But they're kids and they're trying to.
24:16No, they're adults.
24:17They're your kids though.
24:19I know.
24:19They're still young.
24:20But they have animosity.
24:21I do not want to talk to a person who sits there
24:24with so much contempt.
24:27They need you.
24:29They can have me.
24:30They just don't need to treat me like crap to get me.
24:34They are purposefully leaving me out of their lives
24:38to punish me for a crime I did not commit.
24:41The experience with COVID, one, two, three divorces,
24:44the breakup of the family, the different directions,
24:47all the secrecy, all this upheaval, all this damage,
24:51all this tearing us apart.
24:54I don't know how we fix it or when we fix it
24:57or whether we fix it.
24:59It's like, we want to sit down with you, dad,
25:01and blame you for everything that happened.
25:03There's no respect.
25:05Oh, I'm having a hard time not like feeling like
25:11losing respect for you a little bit.
25:13It just, I'm trying to be terrible, nay, honest, but.
25:17Robin, did I, do you know of something I did wrong
25:21besides not falling madly in love with their mothers?
25:24Well, every, okay, I'm sorry,
25:25but there's two sides to all of it, okay?
25:28I know that you weren't perfect in those marriages.
25:30They weren't either, okay?
25:32I'm not-
25:33Fine.
25:33But I'm not, I don't think-
25:35Let's go from there.
25:36But every one of those kids who has shut me out
25:40is blaming me for what happened or you,
25:44which is a bunch of crap.
25:46That's just misguided.
25:47And I don't need to sit down with them
25:48and have to defend you.
25:51Usually after I have a date,
25:53I don't like, you know, say anything or anything like that.
25:56But I just had a date with this guy, David.
25:59His pictures were beautiful.
26:01It was him with these eyes.
26:03We've already planned our second date.
26:04I'm just telling you that straight up.
26:06They need you in their life.
26:08They can have me.
26:09All they have to do is pick up the phone and call.
26:12You want to ask the question,
26:13what did I do to deserve this?
26:15What did I do wrong?
26:21Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
26:29Okay.
26:31Okay.
26:33Usually after I have a date,
26:35I don't like, you know, say anything or anything like that.
26:38But I just had a date with this guy, David.
26:42We've been talking for like a month.
26:44I signed up for a dating website
26:47that is for people with kids.
26:51It's crazy.
26:51I'm so excited.
26:52The first time that I got on, I met David.
26:55His pictures were beautiful.
26:56It was him with these eyes.
26:58Pictures do not do him justice.
27:00His eyes were beautiful.
27:01And I told him, oh my gosh,
27:03we're walking into the restaurant.
27:04And I go, I just have to tell you,
27:05I think your eyes are beautiful.
27:07Just like that.
27:09And so we met up at a breakfast place
27:11and we sat down at a table and he's like,
27:13this is kind of far away.
27:14Let's get closer to each other.
27:15I'm like, okay.
27:17So we scooted our chairs closer to each other
27:19and we just started talking about everything.
27:22Anyway, it went so great.
27:27At this point, I'm still just not interested in dating.
27:29I was married to Cody for 30 years
27:31and Cody is a complicated person.
27:35There's a lot of like what Robin used to call
27:37the roller coaster ride.
27:38And I don't want to do that anymore.
27:40I just want to be me and do me
27:42and like pursue my own things.
27:46You know, at this point I can go to bed when I want.
27:49I can get up when I want.
27:50I can do what I want.
27:51I can travel where I want.
27:53Oh, I love it.
27:54It's just fun.
27:57It's easy and it's fun.
27:59And it's exciting because I can do what I want to do.
28:03But anyway, we just had this date and he's a man.
28:06He's not a guy.
28:07He's not a dude.
28:08He's a man.
28:10He has eight kids.
28:11So he goes, how many kids do you have?
28:13And I'm like six.
28:15And it killed me to just tell him I had six kids only.
28:18We've already planned our second date.
28:20I'm just telling you that straight up.
28:21It's everything I've been looking for.
28:23I'm just saying.
28:24I'm putting it all on the line on a second date.
28:26But if I can't say who I am, I live plague me.
28:29That's part of like a really big part of me
28:32and Janelle's kids and my kids all together.
28:34I claim Janelle's kids as my kids.
28:36And I'm going to do things with Janelle
28:38for the rest of my life.
28:39And he probably needs to know that.
28:41Just saying.
28:49I don't want to judge Cody, but at the same time,
28:52I feel like you just have to let your kids know you're there.
28:57If I were him, I would be calling, emailing, texting,
29:04maybe showing up, flying out there, you know, whatever.
29:08Every one of those kids who has shut me out
29:11is blaming me for what happened or you.
29:15So what I do just say, oh, OK, you can call Robin
29:17whatever you want.
29:18No, you can say they can talk to me.
29:21I would love to work it out with each of them, any of them
29:24that have an issue.
29:25Where this hate for Robin came from, I don't know.
29:28But it's like, if I can't protect her from it,
29:31I'm just not going to engage it.
29:32She never did anything to you.
29:34What are you complaining about?
29:36I just loved her and I didn't love your mother, OK?
29:38So there's the guilt. The guilt lies there.
29:41I'm just having a hard time with this.
29:43And I don't want to pile on.
29:46I know you're going through a lot.
29:47I know that you're going through a lot.
29:50I see you struggling.
29:52I see you angry.
29:54And I'm dealing with my own grief about it.
29:59It's just I, OK, I need to get this because I just.
30:07Robin, I'll make the effort.
30:09OK, so I've spent a year here just lamenting the situation.
30:14When I get over that, those children who are open to me
30:18will get my attention.
30:19Well, don't you think you could do
30:20a little bit of communication?
30:26At the wedding.
30:27Just to let them know it's open?
30:28I tried to connect with Madison.
30:30Have you been trying to communicate with them?
30:33Gabriel, yes, I have.
30:35Any of the other kids?
30:36Hunter, but I'm received with total contempt.
30:39I'm sitting here with a broken heart over these people
30:43who have shut me out that aren't talking to me.
30:46You want to ask the question, what did I do to deserve this?
30:49Like, what did I do wrong?
30:51Divorce is hard on kids.
30:54Separation is hard.
30:54But it's a total betrayal.
30:55It's not about the divorce.
30:57I'm not even talking about their mothers.
30:59I know, but they just, they're getting caught in it.
31:01They're getting fed information that is not true or is
31:06one-sided.
31:07They can be mad at their mothers 10 years from now
31:09when they want a relationship.
31:10They need you in their life.
31:12They can have me.
31:13All they have to do is pick up the phone and call.
31:17All they have to do is answer when
31:19I call without having total contempt for me.
31:24This argument, this disparity in relationship with my children
31:30is specifically, in my mind, because of talk.
31:35There's this whirlwind of disappointment
31:38from the family breaking up or whatever.
31:41And it's like, well, blame dad.
31:43Dad screwed up.
31:45Right.
31:46I did screw up.
31:49I gave up.
31:51I gave up on love because it wasn't enough love.
31:54And I'm pretty sure they're going to say that's dad's fault.
31:58And, well, you can blame me, and I'm fine.
32:02Just don't bring contempt to our conversation.
32:07I am so angry that when somebody opens up to me,
32:10I'm likely to lash out.
32:13Robin, I can't even get it straight with you right now.
32:16This takes some time.
32:17I've got to get over what has happened
32:20and how I've been treated.
32:22You need to figure it out because it's hard on us.
32:25Listen, when the time is right, I'll finally feel forgiving,
32:28I think, I hope.
32:31But it doesn't take anything for me to just get forgiving
32:33and then to have one of these.
32:35Not even like getting on your knees
32:37and asking God for help or?
32:40Well, yeah, I'm pretty desperate.
32:43Because I know that.
32:44It takes more than just that.
32:45It's going to take a change of heart with me.
32:49It's all so complicated, I can't make sense of it.
32:53And when I go to God, there's still a wall for me.
32:57Well, I've completely lost my religion, which is sad.
33:02We're sisters.
33:04Sisters from the same mister.
33:06She's a sister from the same mister,
33:08and he's a brother from another mother.
33:11I feel like Cody was a very present dad in a lot of ways.
33:18To truth be told, that was what made me fall in love with Cody,
33:22seeing him be present with his kids.
33:24Does everybody remember Robin?
33:26Yes.
33:27Do you guys like Robin?
33:29Yeah.
33:30Well, Robin likes us.
33:33He's so hurt by some of the children's rejection
33:36and anger, because he's just like, wait a minute,
33:39I was there for you.
33:40Why is your rejection of me is so drastic?
33:43It doesn't fit what has happened.
33:46You know anybody who's gone through three divorces in really
33:50kind of almost one or two years?
33:52Like, Cody, I know.
33:55I'm not looking for your pity.
33:56I'm looking for understanding, Robin.
33:58I am.
33:59I am, don't you?
34:00But you're losing respect for me.
34:02Because it just.
34:04Is that from your own experience with your father?
34:08I mean, I have not betrayed these kids.
34:11I just know how much I need my dad.
34:16My biological father still, like my whole life,
34:20was very absent.
34:22Did not fight for the relationship.
34:24Did not care to have one.
34:29Still doesn't really care to have one.
34:31I'll see him now and then.
34:33He'll tell me how much he loves me.
34:34But he's very absent.
34:39The kids who are mad at me get together.
34:43And they're all colluding, not all,
34:45but they're colluding against me.
34:48OK.
34:49It's a betrayal.
34:50I want to talk about it.
34:51Listen, they're hurting.
34:54Their whole family is in pieces.
34:58And they don't know how it's going to turn out.
35:00That's got to be hard for them.
35:05Don't you see that?
35:07Oh, I see that.
35:09And I can be forgiving of it completely, Robin.
35:12It's tough in separations and divorces.
35:14People drag their kids into it.
35:17It's hard.
35:18It's complicated.
35:21Kids get very mixed up in their head.
35:23What do you want me to do?
35:24I've reached out to him.
35:27I don't want to judge Cody.
35:29But at the same time, I feel like I don't think
35:34Cody should be accepting it.
35:36I think that Cody should be camping out on their doorsteps
35:40and saying, hey, you're going to talk to me.
35:42Because sometimes that's just what you got to do,
35:45is when you care about someone, it's just say,
35:48hey, you need to talk to me.
35:50Cody, honey, yes, your kids need you.
35:56They need you in their life.
36:13Cody, honey, yes, your kids need you.
36:19They need you in their life.
36:22I know they're angry right now, but they need you.
36:25Can I just have some time then?
36:27Can you give me enough space with this
36:32without losing respect for me?
36:34Yeah.
36:35Yeah, I will.
36:37Yeah.
36:38Just understand, it boggles my mind
36:41that I am being punished for a crime I never committed.
36:44Well, they don't understand that.
36:46They think I did something?
36:47Yes.
36:48What would they think I did?
36:49Didn't love their mother?
36:51Anything that they've been told, OK?
36:54There was a lot of misunderstandings through COVID.
36:57Some of them thought that you wanted
36:59to be here instead of with them, and that's
37:01why you made the rules, which is ridiculous.
37:04During COVID, there was two huge mistakes I probably made.
37:08I wanted the boys to move out because they couldn't
37:10comply to the COVID rules.
37:12That just became sort of a foolish power game.
37:17And one of those mistakes was also
37:20not going to Isabel's surgery.
37:25And that put some bad blood between a bunch of us.
37:29In plural marriage, it's tough.
37:33It can get confusing for wives and kids
37:36when it comes to the husband and the father.
37:39And they can think someone is more important
37:41or someone is more loved.
37:43And I know you love all your kids.
37:45With plural marriage, it's very difficult for a dad
37:49to get one-on-one time with kids.
37:52He has to be really, really present,
37:54but then at the same time, it's still difficult
37:56just because of math, just because time.
37:59It's very natural for kids to kind of become
38:02closer to their mother.
38:04Just last week while I was skiing, I was up there.
38:06It was nice and sunny, and I texted Gabriel.
38:09Yeah.
38:10I just thought, I just, so I reached out to him.
38:16Nothing yet.
38:17Keep trying, OK?
38:19I'm glad to hear you are trying.
38:21I don't try enough.
38:22I know that.
38:24That's because it's not safe to go there.
38:26And I'm triggering like crazy.
38:28I know you're going through.
38:29I don't want to trigger while I'm
38:31in a conversation with them.
38:33I'm so angry about what has happened
38:35that if I talk to my kids, I'm worried that they'll
38:38trigger me with an accusation.
38:42Really, I'll be honest with you.
38:43I don't have the bandwidth yet to go to God in gratitude
38:49and try and fill my love tank with the spirit of God.
38:52I'm just bitter right now.
38:54OK, I'm not going to argue with you anymore.
38:56I'm too hot-headed right now, Robert.
38:58All I'll do is more damage.
38:59OK, I just want, I just want to know you're trying, OK?
39:02OK.
39:03Because this needs, these relationships
39:06do need to get mended.
39:07You know what, Robert?
39:09We've had such a struggle with this.
39:11I'd almost rather just take some time
39:13to get in a better place with you and me
39:15because I've been in this place for a very, very long time.
39:18And it's hurt us more than it's hurt them.
39:24And thank you for saying that.
39:25I appreciate that.
39:26It's good to hear.
39:27Well, I'm mad as hell.
39:29And I'm not meaning for it to come out on you.
39:32My heart is broken.
39:33Well, I'm sitting here with the person
39:35that I love the most in the world.
39:38And my heart's still broken.
39:40What do I do with that?
39:41And my heart's broken, too.
39:44You react with this very special and sweet emotion that you have.
39:47I am angry.
39:50I'm angry out of my mind.
39:53The kids are, they are always the collateral damage
39:58when this happens.
39:59But I'm not trying to damage them.
40:00No, but just, just keep trying.
40:02That's all I'm asking, OK?
40:05I've had one of my kids just said, you're an asshole.
40:09I'm never talking to you again.
40:11You manipulated me.
40:13And you brainwashed me.
40:15Some people think that parental child relationships shouldn't,
40:19don't have to be reciprocal.
40:21But when they're adults, yeah, they do.
40:23I'm not going to reach out forever.
40:25I'm willing to make the effort.
40:28But somebody else is going to have to be on the other end
40:30of that and make some effort, too.
40:34I'm not going to camp out on somebody's doorstep.
40:36I really need the space to do it.
40:38I'm not fixing this today, tomorrow, or next week.
40:42OK.
40:42And with the kids who are reaching out to me
40:45and who are listening to me.
40:46Just promise me you'll keep trying at least a little bit
40:49until you're ready.
40:51Promise me.
40:54OK, a little bit.
40:56Just enough, a little bit, to let them
40:58know that you still care, please.
41:01OK.
41:03They need you and you need them.
41:09Thanks for coming down and talking to me
41:11before I went back in the house.
41:13I didn't want to go back to where we were.
41:17I know those kids need their dad.
41:20They need him.
41:22They need him to try harder.
41:28It's his role.
41:28He's dad.
41:30I don't think he realizes how important that is.
41:34He just doesn't grasp how important a dad is to a child.
41:46Next time on Sister Wives.
41:48OK, so David and I have gone out twice now.
41:51God, he's just solid and he's real.
41:53I really like him a lot.
41:55Just saying.
41:56I think that Robin definitely has a victim complex.
42:01There's a lot of anger towards Robin.
42:03You know what I mean?
42:04They're leery of Robin.
42:05But I'm not hopeful for a relationship
42:08with dad and Robin.
42:15For me now, my prayer was just like, save me and Robin.
42:20Save our marriage, save us, save the special
42:24after this horrible experience of breaking up.