Sister Wives S19 Episode 4 - How the Mighty Have Fallen
Sister Wives S19 Episode 4 - How the Mighty Have Fallen
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Short filmTranscript
00:00Previously on Sister Wives.
00:02McKelvey's pregnant with twins,
00:04and so we have to have a party to celebrate that.
00:07Hello. Hey, Tony.
00:09McKelvey's like, Chad and Rob on her hair.
00:12Your stuff. Oh, thank you. Thank you.
00:14Well, I haven't seen Christine in months.
00:16Hi.
00:17I kept my distance and did not greet Christine
00:21because she told me she didn't want a relationship
00:23and I don't want to push myself on her.
00:26Is your marriage with Cody over?
00:27I feel like I'm on trial,
00:29like I'm being cross-examined.
00:30It's really complicated because there's no legal marriage.
00:33He's not talking to me about it,
00:35so I think I'm going to have to blow you up.
00:38Cody and I are officially done.
00:40Oh, jeez.
00:41I'm upset that I was neglected and abandoned.
00:45I'm just Rob and I'll leave him.
00:46You know, I know who I am.
00:48I'm confident in who I am.
00:49And he's going to wake up one day and be like,
00:51wow, what the hell did I just do?
00:55He's going to be accountable for that,
00:57whether he likes it or not.
00:59♪♪♪
01:07♪♪♪
01:18♪♪♪
01:28Hi, welcome to Oma.
01:30Babies.
01:32Oh, hi, Archer.
01:35Babe, I made you food.
01:36Hello, Ace.
01:38Oh, my gosh.
01:39Hi, boys.
01:40Your Oma missed you so much.
01:43I missed you.
01:44I didn't see you all day.
01:46McKelty just barely had the twins.
01:48Like, Ace and Archer are so cute, so delightful,
01:51but they're really newborn.
01:53Like, she had to have them cesarean section
01:55in the hospital.
01:56She left pregnant, and less than an hour later,
01:58she came back with twins.
02:00It's amazing.
02:01How was your first night home?
02:03It was good.
02:04It was nice.
02:05You know, that's like a record.
02:06You had your cesarean.
02:07I don't think it's a record.
02:08Yes, it is.
02:09You were in the hospital for one night.
02:11Ace and Archer are fraternal twins.
02:14You can definitely tell who is who.
02:16So last night, I was definitely hurting a lot.
02:20Worst night of sleep of my entire life, honestly.
02:24My stomach, just because everything's loose in there,
02:26would kind of move over and slide,
02:28so it would pull the scar.
02:30So no matter how I slept, it hurt so bad.
02:34But then I'd also have to get up and then sit up
02:38so that I could hold the baby and try
02:40to nurse one of the boys.
02:41Robin helped me through all of it.
02:43What did we do?
02:44Oh, we put a mattress pad down in our closet.
02:46Robin slept in the closet.
02:47Seriously.
02:48And she had both boys with her,
02:49and then when they would wake up and be hungry,
02:51she brought the boys to me, helped me sit up and stuff,
02:54and then I'd feed one of the boys
02:55and then give the boy back to Robin,
02:57and she'd go back to bed.
02:58So I know that some people think,
03:00well, why are you sleeping in the closet?
03:02That's weird.
03:03But then it's just like, well, it's really close.
03:05It's convenient.
03:06Their closet's huge.
03:07You know, just I could be close.
03:09She didn't get any sleep.
03:10She's sleeping right now.
03:11No.
03:12She doesn't even, and she wouldn't want to.
03:15Guaranteed, Robin didn't sleep at all.
03:17There's no way.
03:18But she got to hold the babies.
03:19That's the most important part.
03:21Isabel.
03:22Hey.
03:25I'll trade you places.
03:26I'm right behind you.
03:27I know.
03:28McKelsey, you birthed the most beautiful babies.
03:32They're so adorable.
03:34I'm really grateful that, you know, Robin could be there,
03:37and she really was helpful.
03:39It sounds like, especially with those first few hours.
03:43I can remember when Logan was born,
03:46Christine was brand new in the family.
03:48She and Cody had just married a few months ahead.
03:50And I remember Christine keeping Logan for me one night.
03:53And that was the most awesome thing,
03:55because, like, I could sleep.
03:56And so having somebody do that while you're at home
03:59in your own bed resting is huge.
04:02Look, I will say, when it comes to the kids,
04:05we really hope that we can all co-parent together peacefully.
04:09So the babies slept good.
04:10How was Avalon with them?
04:11So I kind of put one of the boys in her arms for a second.
04:14And then she started crying.
04:16Wait, what?
04:17Toni had a kid, and I had a kid.
04:19She, like, realized that we're not holding her.
04:23It was sad.
04:24That's one of the saddest things I've ever heard.
04:26Yeah, that was rough.
04:27Our whole world revolved around Avalon.
04:30And she knew it.
04:31And in one day, everything changed.
04:34And everything became hard.
04:36I'm sorry, you guys.
04:37I'm so sorry.
04:38She looked at her mom, and she looked at her dad.
04:42And she realized her whole world was going to change.
04:44It's so sad.
04:45We're going to need to spend some extra time with Avalon,
04:48for sure.
04:49Oh, you got Maria here.
04:50How long is Robin going to stay?
04:51She wants to be home for Thanksgiving.
04:53So no matter what, I think she'll leave Wednesday.
04:56Thanksgiving is less than a week.
04:57So I'm going to be making Thanksgiving dinner,
05:00because it's McKelty's year to host.
05:02I'm going to cook a little bit, hold the baby.
05:04Cook a little bit, hold the baby.
05:05So this year has little to do about the food.
05:09What is cool is, so Jessie, one of the labor and delivery
05:13nurses, she was the one that kind of took care of,
05:15she was one of the nurses that took care of Archer
05:17when he came out.
05:18They both had their own team.
05:20Hey, Robin.
05:21Hey.
05:23I hear you slept in the closet with the babies all night.
05:26That's the sign of your life, right?
05:28I'm partied, too.
05:30Nice.
05:31Did you sleep well?
05:32Did you have a good nap?
05:33Yeah.
05:34Good.
05:35Yeah.
05:36My desire and intention has always
05:40been to have a good relationship with Christine.
05:43That's what I'm putting forward.
05:45Maybe this is kind of laying a foundation
05:48for future interaction, you know, so that it's positive.
05:52So time-wise, they're probably not too hungry.
05:54It's more like, oh, my milk came in.
05:56Yay.
05:57Yeah.
05:58So they've been really enjoying it.
06:01Oh, I bet.
06:03Partially since they both had the real thing, too.
06:05Now they're like, I want it.
06:06I want it.
06:07They don't necessarily need the food right now.
06:09I got them to take bean teasers.
06:11That's amazing.
06:12Yep.
06:13That's amazing.
06:14That'll help.
06:15So then they're going to keep taking them, maybe?
06:17Yeah.
06:18It's a little bit awkward that Robin's here, of course.
06:20You know, we're not on the best of terms.
06:24Hm.
06:25I wish I didn't feel awkward.
06:26That's just stupid.
06:27That's the last.
06:28It's not even about me at all.
06:31You guys want to hear a funny story?
06:33Yes.
06:34Robin, last night, was like a prophet.
06:37Like, the kids were, like, super unsettled.
06:39And she's like, they need to poop.
06:41And so she comes over here and opens one up.
06:45And then he started pooping on command.
06:48He did?
06:49Yes.
06:50Yes.
06:51He was so good.
06:52Good.
06:53He was, like, pooping.
06:54And then they're like, OK, we'll wait.
06:55And so I went through, like, three diapers
06:57because he just kept pooping and pooping.
06:59Nice.
07:01I know that the dynamic between my mom
07:04and Robin is really difficult.
07:06This new transition that my family's going through,
07:08it's hard.
07:09But I think that it just stands up
07:11for the incredible character of both of my moms,
07:14that they're able to work with each other
07:18for somebody that needs them.
07:21When Robin came in the family, and it was obvious
07:24her and McKelty had a great relationship,
07:26it was everything that I hoped for.
07:27When I was so excited about having a plural family,
07:29I was hoping that my kids would have
07:31a great relationship with other moms.
07:33It's great that McKelty has a great relationship with Robin.
07:35It's what I've always wanted for my kids to have.
07:38But, like, you just taking the kids out of the bassinet, too,
07:41and just keeping them with you helped so much.
07:43Because I was like, OK, I don't have to worry.
07:45I don't have to do anything.
07:46Robin's got the kids.
07:47I'm going to pass out.
07:48And I solid passed out.
07:51Yeah, Christine was great.
07:52We just co-grandparented.
07:54And that's kind of always what I've wanted.
07:56I understand and I have to respect
07:58that she doesn't want it the same way.
08:00And I know that she was probably just making sure
08:03that she was supportive to Tony and McKelty,
08:06which I appreciate.
08:07And so it worked out.
08:08It was fine.
08:09It was great.
08:15I just had to leave the twins and Avalon
08:20and Tony and McKelty, and I just don't want to go.
08:23I've had the most beautiful experience with those babies.
08:28The family's in a weird place, as I guess you
08:30would expect from a divorce.
08:32The struggles that we have had have been so foreign
08:37from what our family was.
08:39It's been such a sweet experience
08:42being a part of all of this and being there at the hospital
08:48and helping taking care of the babies
08:50and getting to bond with them.
08:54I just really love being a grandma.
08:58I'm having a very difficult time connecting
09:01with all of my kids.
09:02And of course, twins being born is going to give us
09:06all something special, something maybe that heals,
09:10helps to move things forward.
09:14I don't know if it'd heal anything between me
09:16and ex-wives, but I'm going to have to go see those babies.
09:19I've got to see those grandkids.
09:21So I'm going to be excited to go see them.
09:23And this is going to give us more opportunity
09:25to open the doors with my children.
09:28I don't know.
09:29I don't know I'm going to go home
09:31and not see them every day.
09:32I'm having a hard time even thinking about it.
09:35It's just been such a sweet, sweet experience.
09:43So you want some darkness, right?
09:45Robin and I don't behave like a married couple
09:48when my other wives are around.
09:50So we weren't acting like a married couple
09:52with Mary in our presence.
09:54I've heard Cody say multiple times how awkward it is
09:57because he can't show the affection to Robin that he wants.
10:00I just really don't want to go be a third wheel
10:03at Robin and Cody's house.
10:05♪♪♪
10:14Right over there.
10:16Gravy?
10:18Okay, all right.
10:19Saul, I guess we'll worry about you later.
10:21This is the first Thanksgiving that Robin and I are having
10:24with just our children alone.
10:26We have never had this before.
10:28Ooh, there's another nice piece.
10:30So I had had kind of tentative plans
10:32to take a trip to California over Thanksgiving,
10:35and that fell through.
10:37Yeah, Robin did reach out
10:39and ask if I wanted to go over there for Thanksgiving,
10:43and I'm not going to do that.
10:45That's just weird.
10:47Oh, my God.
10:49Last year, Mary was here with our Thanksgiving,
10:52and it was a pleasant experience.
10:54But Robin and I don't behave like a married couple
10:56when my other wives are around.
10:58So we weren't acting like a married couple
11:00with Mary in our presence.
11:02That's mostly on Robin, to be fair.
11:04That's because Robin is very sensitive to other people.
11:06She wants to be very careful about their feelings.
11:08So when Mary's there with us at our Thanksgiving,
11:11I'm not close with Mary,
11:13and now I'm no longer close with Robin
11:15because Mary's present,
11:17and Robin wants to be sensitive to Mary.
11:19I've heard Cody say multiple times
11:22how awkward it is that I'm even there
11:24because he can't show the affection
11:26and the adoration to Robin that he wants to,
11:29and I'm not going to inhibit that.
11:31You know, I'm not...
11:34a member of the family.
11:36I just really don't want to go be a third wheel
11:39at Robin and Cody's house.
11:41♪♪♪
11:44Aww, there we go.
11:47I'm saying it's my turn.
11:49What?
11:51What this year, this Thanksgiving this year is about,
11:53and what we're most grateful for
11:55is those babies being healthy,
11:57and we're just grateful that they have this little family now,
12:00and everybody's doing great.
12:02Let's get the bowls up there.
12:04Isabel's here, Aspen and Mitch,
12:06and then we have Tony's family.
12:08Tony's mom, Maria, dad, Antonio,
12:11and then some of his siblings are her as well.
12:14So Gwendolyn came into town with her girlfriend, Bea.
12:18Gwendolyn and Bea together are adorable.
12:20They're a cute couple. They're really cute.
12:22If they wanted to get married, I'd be fine with it.
12:24Just saying. I'd be fine.
12:26♪♪♪♪
12:31So this year, Logan and Michelle are hosting Thanksgiving
12:34in Las Vegas at their house.
12:36They just bought a house. We're going to be there.
12:38It's going to be very fun.
12:40Oh, okay. With the garlic cloves, do we want to smash?
12:42I want to smash them and put them in there.
12:44Peyton is Christine's biological son,
12:46and he always says to me, well, you're my other mom.
12:49So I only had one boy, just Peyton,
12:52and he escaped living in a house full of women all the time.
12:56Like, he is my kid, but he's not my biological child.
12:59But it doesn't seem any different.
13:01He just fits right in with all my boys.
13:03It just feels like he belongs there.
13:05He was always over at Janelle's house.
13:07He's definitely benefited from me living polygamy
13:10because he has so many brothers now, and he loves it.
13:12Him doing Thanksgiving with Janelle is just awesome.
13:15You want some of the drumstick?
13:18I want the drumstick.
13:20I want a drink, but I don't know about that.
13:23I love my children, and we're having a nice time,
13:27but I miss the family. I miss the big experience.
13:31Hey, listen, very exciting to have all you here for Thanksgiving.
13:35This is a very nice layout. Thank you, ladies, for this setup,
13:38all the food that's been cooked. It's very nice.
13:41Thanksgiving was always such a big deal
13:43when we were all together as a family.
13:45We'd have 50 people over.
13:47Like, we never had Thanksgiving that was small.
13:50We originally started out with the vision of having one family,
13:54and we worked very hard.
13:56Even when Robin came, we tried very, very hard
13:58to still have that one family identity.
14:01I never imagined that we would not ever spend Thanksgiving together,
14:05but I'm really enjoying this smaller Thanksgiving,
14:07and I'm with people I want to be with.
14:09It's actually fun. I'm enjoying it.
14:11Are you good?
14:13I'm really struggling in many ways
14:16that it still feels like something's missing.
14:18This is small. There's just the seven of us.
14:21It's quiet. It feels safe.
14:24By safe, I simply mean
14:26that we are all in a state of respect with each other.
14:29Ten years ago, I was safe for everybody,
14:33but they weren't safe for each other.
14:37It shows me in so many ways
14:39the dysfunction of just the basics in plural marriage.
14:45I've heard that Mary's not going to be spending Thanksgiving
14:48with Cody and Robin, which kind of surprised me,
14:50and I wondered who she was going to be spending it with.
14:52I hope somebody.
14:55I think Mary deserves a lot more,
14:57and I think it's time for her to do something different.
15:00I've thought that for a while, and she still is around.
15:03I don't really plan on telling anybody
15:06about mine and Cody's decision.
15:08I don't feel like it's necessary
15:10for me to go make a big announcement about it.
15:14I'm actually staying in town.
15:17It's just going to be an easy day
15:20of just getting caught up on work.
15:23Logic says that when a man and a woman
15:27decide they're not going to be married any longer,
15:30they also therefore don't spend Thanksgiving together.
15:35See right there, that's what Thanksgiving's about,
15:38is just these babies laying on Tony and sleeping finally.
15:42I mean, come on.
15:44The kids are a week old today.
15:47Congratulations, baby.
15:49Happy week birthday.
15:51I want my other children in my life.
15:53I don't know how to do that.
15:55I believe, I'm grateful for the faith and hope that I have
16:00that things get better.
16:02In the future.
16:08So yeah, I miss, I miss everyone,
16:11and I wish we were together.
16:14So, yeah.
16:20It's a trigger point for me.
16:22I'm tired of being angry.
16:24I just don't understand why you're not like,
16:27like just talking to the kids.
16:30Like, just talking to the kids as much as you can.
16:33Like, I just don't know why you're not reaching out
16:35to them more.
16:37Oh, I'm having a hard time not, like,
16:40feeling like losing respect for you a little bit.
16:46So, it is Tuesday, the week after Thanksgiving,
16:52and I spent Thanksgiving here in my bed.
16:58Sick.
17:00Mary had told us she wasn't going to do Thanksgiving with us.
17:02She was going to do it with her children.
17:04Like, I found out later that she was going to do Thanksgiving
17:08with her kids.
17:10And I was like, oh my gosh.
17:12She's going to do it with her children.
17:14Like, I found out later that she was at home sick.
17:17I just was like, oh my gosh.
17:19She's right here.
17:21After my conversation with Cody in April,
17:29I had already kind of made the decision
17:32that I wasn't going to spend Thanksgiving
17:35with Cody and Robin.
17:38I mean, I don't know exactly what's going on
17:41with Mary and Cody's relationship.
17:43Like, I heard that they were separated,
17:46and I don't know where she's living.
17:51I really have no idea.
17:53I don't really talk to Mary, so I'm not sure.
17:57I think that me being sick, honestly,
18:00is just my body's way of saying, hey, it's time you stop
18:06and you think about this and you figure it out.
18:10So...
18:34Earlier this morning, Robin and I got into a conversation
18:38after we got the kids to school.
18:40Robin is extremely upset that I'm not reaching out
18:43more to my children.
18:46I was putting pressure on Cody to work on his relationships
18:50with his kids, and it triggered him and it upset him.
18:55Well, this all just came to a head.
18:57Our voices are starting to raise.
18:59I'm not going to sit here and fight with you
19:01and have a rift in our relationship
19:04caused by these people who have created
19:08the biggest rift in my life.
19:10I'm not doing that, okay?
19:15So I just decided I needed to take off.
19:18So Cody's coming home.
19:21He let me know he's on his way.
19:23I have to talk to him more about this.
19:25I have to have it sink in.
19:27It's just something that is just eating at me.
19:29I'm so worried about these kids.
19:35Hey.
19:36Hi.
19:37How you doing?
19:38Good.
19:39Come back, maybe we can finish the conversation.
19:44Are you feeling a little better?
19:46I'm a little emotional.
19:47Well, I mean...
19:48I'm just thinking about what you're saying, so...
19:50Well, do you mind if we talk about it?
19:52Are you in a place where we can talk about it more?
19:54Yeah.
19:55It's a trigger point for me, you know?
19:58I'm tired of being angry.
20:01I know.
20:02I'm tired of it too.
20:03It's hard.
20:04I'm tired of feeling betrayed.
20:06What has happened is, in the divorce,
20:09and the divorce is,
20:10the ugly finger of blame has come out.
20:12Dad, you were never at my house.
20:14I'm sorry, I had four wives.
20:16I was at your house, though,
20:17because the other wife was complaining
20:19that I was at your house.
20:21I just don't understand why you're not, like...
20:25like, just talking to the kids as much as you can.
20:27Like, I just don't know why you're not
20:29reaching out to them more.
20:31This has been going on for so long.
20:34They're trash-talking.
20:35And they're hurting.
20:37Robin, you saw how they were at the wedding.
20:42I recently went to a family wedding.
20:44The whole family was there.
20:45There was so much animosity from some of my family.
20:49There's a couple of my kids
20:50wouldn't even engage me at the wedding,
20:52some of them.
20:53Wouldn't even talk to me.
20:54But some of the kids have flat-out rejected me.
20:56I know.
20:57You saw Madison take her kids
20:58and scuttle them away from me.
21:00Yeah, I saw.
21:01She never told me she was pregnant.
21:02She never told me she was gonna have a baby.
21:05The only thing the kids are upset with him
21:07is the way he has treated his family,
21:08the way he has completely, like, ditched out.
21:11And really, Maddie doesn't have any contact with him.
21:14She is very protective of her children.
21:16Cody has not been there since Evie was born.
21:19And Evie's three and a half.
21:20And she didn't want him to just drop in and, like,
21:23be like, oh, I'm your grandpa,
21:25and then be like, what?
21:26Who is this guy?
21:27Like, you know what I mean?
21:29It's unrealistic expectation for grandparents
21:31to be in their grandchildren's lives all the time,
21:33especially if you move your children
21:37to an entirely different coast.
21:40I have work and a life in Flagstaff.
21:43They're purposefully leaving me out of their lives
21:47to punish me for a crime I did not commit.
21:50I am only guilty of not falling madly in love
21:54with their mothers.
21:56Madison actually called Janelle,
21:59saying Dad said he didn't love you.
22:01I know, but couldn't you, like, reach out to her?
22:04Every time I talk to her,
22:05she spreads gossip about me to the rest of the family.
22:08I never said that I didn't love Janelle.
22:10On the contrary, I actually said that I loved Janelle.
22:13This is some rumor that was created in the family
22:15that just sowed division.
22:17Our family was killed by gossip.
22:21Cody has this narrative about Madison
22:24where she's such the gossip,
22:25but he is as big of a gossip.
22:28He'd always say that Mary was difficult
22:31or Christine was a whatever.
22:32Like, he would always say things like that to me
22:34about Mary and Christine.
22:35He never said it about Robin,
22:37but he would say stuff about Mary and Christine.
22:39What they've done is they've got,
22:41there's all this contempt that they have for me.
22:46Listen, I need...
22:48I'm just having such a hard time with this.
22:50Well, I will work, I will reach out to,
22:53I will love those children who will allow me to do it.
22:57And in time, maybe the rest of them will come back around.
23:00You know, you know...
23:07You know that my biological father did not...
23:10I know.
23:11...do what he was supposed to
23:12as far as a dad is concerned.
23:14Yeah, but I've not been doing that.
23:17When I was little, my parents got a divorce.
23:21He lived with one wife in another city,
23:24and then my mom lived alone.
23:27I remember confronting my biological father,
23:30saying, what happened? Why?
23:33All he really did was just make a bunch of lame excuses
23:36as to why he wasn't there for me when I was young.
23:39And it just sucked.
23:42To Cody, I'm like, hey, listen, you don't want to be this guy.
23:46I know you're hurting, but you don't want to be this guy.
23:50But don't you, I'm just, I'm struggling to...
23:53I text one of my kids...
23:54I'm starting...
23:55...and they send back notes saying,
23:56you are a piece of trash.
23:58I would never speak to you again anyway.
24:01I'm not trying to do anything but have a relationship.
24:03Well, if you sit there long enough and like...
24:05I'm not going to do it with rejection every single time.
24:09I'm not abandoning my children.
24:11They have betrayed me.
24:13Inadvertently, maybe.
24:14But they're kids and they're trying to...
24:16No, they're adults.
24:17They're your kids, though.
24:18I know.
24:19They're still young.
24:20But they have animosity.
24:21I do not want to talk to a person who sits there
24:24with so much contempt.
24:27They need you.
24:28They can have me.
24:30They just don't need to treat me like crap to get me.
24:34They are purposefully leaving me out of their lives
24:37to punish me for a crime I did not commit.
24:41The experience with COVID, one, two, three divorces,
24:44the breakup of the family, the different directions,
24:47all the secrecy, all this upheaval, all this damage,
24:51all this tearing us apart.
24:53I don't know how we fix it or when we fix it
24:57or whether we fix it.
24:59It's like we want to sit down with you, Dad,
25:01and blame you for everything that happened.
25:03There's no respect.
25:05Oh, I'm having a hard time not, like, feeling like
25:10losing respect for you a little bit.
25:13It just...
25:14I'm trying to be careful and being honest, but...
25:16Robin, did I...
25:18Do you know of something I did wrong
25:20besides not falling madly in love with their mothers?
25:23Well, every...
25:24Okay, I'm sorry, but there's two sides to all of it, okay?
25:27I know that you weren't perfect in those marriages.
25:30They weren't either, okay?
25:31I'm not...
25:32Fine.
25:33But I'm not...
25:34Let's go from there, but every one of those kids
25:37who has shut me out is blaming me for what happened
25:41or you, which is a bunch of crap.
25:45That's just misguided.
25:46I don't need to sit down with them and have to defend you.
25:53Usually after I have a date,
25:55I don't, like, you know, say anything or anything like that,
25:58but I just had a date with this guy, David.
26:02His pictures were beautiful.
26:04It was him with these eyes.
26:05We've already planned our second date.
26:07I'm just telling you that straight up.
26:09They need you in their life.
26:11They can have me.
26:12All they have to do is pick up the phone and call.
26:15You want to ask the question,
26:16what did I do to deserve this?
26:18What did I do wrong?
26:28Okay.
26:30Okay.
26:33Usually after I have a date,
26:34I don't, like, you know, say anything or anything like that,
26:37but I just had a date with this guy, David.
26:41We've been talking for, like, a month.
26:44I signed up for a dating website
26:46that is for people with kids.
26:50It's crazy. I'm so excited.
26:51The first time that I got on, I met David.
26:54His pictures were beautiful.
26:56It was him with these eyes.
26:58Pictures do not do him justice.
27:00His eyes were beautiful, and I told him,
27:02oh my gosh, we're walking into the restaurant,
27:04and I go, I just have to tell you,
27:05I think your eyes are beautiful just like that.
27:08And so we met up at a breakfast place
27:10and we sat down at a table,
27:12and he's like, this is kind of far away.
27:14Let's scoot closer to each other.
27:15I'm like, okay.
27:16So we scooted our chairs closer to each other
27:19and we just started talking about everything.
27:22Anyway, it went so great.
27:26At this point, I'm still just not interested in dating.
27:29I was married to Cody for 30 years,
27:31and Cody is a complicated person.
27:34There's a lot of, like, what Robin used to call
27:36the roller coaster ride,
27:37and I don't want to do that anymore.
27:39I just want to be me and do me
27:41and, like, pursue my own things.
27:45You know, at this point, I can go to bed when I want.
27:48I can get up when I want.
27:49I can do what I want.
27:51I can travel where I want.
27:52Oh, I love it.
27:53It's just fun.
27:56It's easy and it's fun, and it's exciting
27:59because I can do what I want to do.
28:02But anyway, we just had this date,
28:04and he's a man.
28:05He's not a guy.
28:06He's not a dude.
28:08He's a man.
28:09He has eight kids.
28:10So he goes, how many kids do you have?
28:12And I'm like, six.
28:15And it killed me
28:16to just tell him I had six kids only.
28:18We've already planned our second date.
28:19I'm just telling you that straight up.
28:21It's everything I've been looking for.
28:22I'm just saying.
28:23I'm putting it all on the line on the second date.
28:26But if I can't say who I am,
28:28I live plaguing me.
28:29That's part of, like, a really big part of me.
28:32And Janelle's kids and my kids all together,
28:34I claim Janelle's kids as my kids,
28:36and I'm gonna do things with Janelle
28:37for the rest of my life,
28:38and he probably needs to know that.
28:41Just saying.
28:42♪♪♪
28:48I don't want to judge Cody,
28:50but at the same time, I feel like
28:52you just have to let your kids know you're there.
28:56If I were him, I would be calling,
29:01emailing, texting,
29:03maybe showing up flying out there.
29:05You know, whatever.
29:06Every one of those kids who has shut me out
29:10is blaming me for what happened, or you.
29:13So what do I do?
29:14Just say, oh, okay,
29:15you can call Robin whatever you want?
29:17No, you can say they can talk to me.
29:20I would love to work it out with each of them,
29:23any of them that have an issue.
29:24Where this hate for Robin came from, I don't know,
29:27but it's like, if I can't protect her from it,
29:30I'm just not gonna engage it.
29:31She never did anything to you.
29:33What are you complaining about?
29:34I just loved her, and I didn't love your mother, okay?
29:37So there's the guilt. The guilt lies there.
29:40I'm just having a hard time with this,
29:42and I don't want to pile on.
29:44I know you're going through a lot.
29:46I know that you're going through a lot.
29:48I see you struggling.
29:51I see you angry.
29:53And I'm dealing with my own grief about it.
29:58It's just, I...
30:01Okay.
30:03I need to get this, because I just...
30:06Robin, I'll make the effort.
30:08Okay, so I've spent a year here just lamenting the situation.
30:13When I get over that,
30:14those children who are open to me will get my attention.
30:18Well, don't you think you could do
30:19a little bit of communication?
30:25At the wedding.
30:26Like, just to let them know it's open?
30:28I tried to connect with Madison.
30:30Have you been trying to communicate with them?
30:32Gabriel, yes, I have.
30:35Any of the other kids?
30:36Hunter, but I'm received with total contempt.
30:39I'm sitting here with a broken heart
30:41over these people who have shut me out
30:44that aren't talking to me.
30:46You want to ask the question,
30:47what did I do to deserve this?
30:49Like, what did I do wrong?
30:51Divorce is hard on kids.
30:53Separation is hard.
30:54Yeah, but it's a total betrayal.
30:55It's not about the divorce.
30:56I'm not even talking about their mothers.
30:58I know, but they're getting caught in it.
31:01They're getting fed information that is not true
31:05or is one-sided.
31:06Well, they can be mad at their mothers
31:0710 years from now when they want a relationship with me.
31:10They need you in their life.
31:12They can have me.
31:13All they have to do is pick up the phone and call.
31:16All they have to do is answer when I call
31:20without having total contempt for me.
31:23This argument, this disparity in relationship
31:28with my children
31:30is specifically, in my mind,
31:33because of s*** talk.
31:35There's this whirlwind of disappointment
31:38from the family breaking up or whatever,
31:40and it's like, well, blame Dad.
31:42Dad screwed up.
31:44Right.
31:46I did screw up.
31:48I gave up.
31:50I gave up on love
31:52because it wasn't enough love,
31:53and I'm pretty sure they're going to say
31:56that's Dad's fault,
31:57and, well, you can blame me, and I'm fine.
32:02Just don't bring contempt to our conversation.
32:07I am so angry that when somebody opens up to me,
32:10I'm likely to lash out.
32:11I can't, Robin, I can't even get it straight
32:13with you right now.
32:15This takes some time.
32:17I've got to get over what has happened
32:19and how I've been treated.
32:21You need to figure it out,
32:22because it's hard on us.
32:24Listen, when the time is right,
32:26I'll finally feel forgiving, I think, I hope,
32:30but it doesn't take anything
32:31for me to just get forgiving
32:33and then to have one of these...
32:34Not even, like, getting on your knees
32:36and asking God for help or...
32:39Yeah, I'm pretty desperate.
32:42Because I know that...
32:43But it takes more than just that.
32:45It's going to take a change of heart with me.
32:48It's all so complicated,
32:50I can't make sense of it.
32:52And when I go to God,
32:54ah, there's still a wall for me.
32:57I've completely lost my religion,
32:59which is sad.
33:02We're sisters.
33:03Sisters from the same mister.
33:05She's a sister from the same mister,
33:07and he's a brother from another mother.
33:10I feel like Cody was a very present dad
33:13in a lot of ways.
33:17To truth be told,
33:18that was what made me fall in love with Cody.
33:21Seeing him be present with his kids.
33:24Does everybody remember Robin?
33:26Yes.
33:27Do you guys like Robin?
33:28Yeah.
33:29Well, Robin likes us.
33:32He's so hurt by some of the children's rejection
33:35and anger, because he's just like,
33:38wait a minute, I was there for you.
33:40Why is your rejection of me so drastic?
33:43It doesn't fit what has happened.
33:45You know anybody who's gone through three divorces?
33:47No.
33:48Like really kind of almost one or two years.
33:51No.
33:52Like, Cody, I know.
33:54I'm not looking for your pity.
33:55I'm looking for understanding, Robin.
33:57I am.
33:58I am, don't you?
33:59But you're losing respect for me.
34:01Because it just.
34:03Is that from your own experience with your father?
34:07I mean, I have not betrayed these kids.
34:10I just know how much.
34:12I need my dad.
34:15My biological father still, like,
34:18my whole life was very absent.
34:21Did not fight for the relationship,
34:23did not care to have one,
34:28still doesn't really care to have one.
34:30I'll see him now and then.
34:32He'll tell me how much he loves me,
34:34but he's very absent.
34:37The kids who are mad at me get together,
34:42and they're all colluding, not all,
34:44but they're colluding against me.
34:47Okay.
34:48It's a betrayal.
34:49I have days where I want to talk about it.
34:51Listen, they're hurting.
34:53Their whole family is in pieces,
34:57and they don't know how it's going to turn out.
34:59That's got to be hard for them.
35:02Don't you see that?
35:05I see that,
35:08and I can be forgiving of it completely, Robin.
35:11It's tough in separations and divorces.
35:13People drag their kids into it.
35:16It's hard.
35:18It's complicated.
35:20Kids get very mixed up in their head.
35:22What do you want me to do?
35:24I've reached out to him.
35:26I don't want to judge Cody,
35:28but at the same time, I feel like,
35:31I don't think Cody should be accepting it.
35:35I think that Cody should be camping out on their doorsteps
35:39and saying, hey, you're going to talk to me,
35:42because sometimes that's just what you got to do,
35:45is when you care about someone,
35:47it's just say, hey, you need to talk to me.
35:49Cody, honey, yes, your kids need you.
35:55They need you in their life.
36:10Cody, honey, yes, your kids need you.
36:16They need you in their life.
36:19I know they're angry right now, but they need you.
36:22Can I just have some time then?
36:25Can you give me enough space with this
36:29without losing respect for me?
36:32Yeah, yeah, I will.
36:35Please just understand,
36:37it boggles my mind that I am being punished
36:41for a crime I never committed.
36:43Well, they don't understand that.
36:45They think I did something?
36:47Yes.
36:48What would they think I did?
36:49Didn't love their mother?
36:50Anything that they've been told, okay?
36:53There was a lot of misunderstandings through COVID.
36:55Some of them thought that you wanted to be here
36:58instead of with them, and that's why you made the rules,
37:01which is ridiculous.
37:03During COVID, there's two huge mistakes
37:06I probably made.
37:07I wanted the boys to move out
37:09because they couldn't comply to the COVID rules.
37:12That just became sort of a foolish power game.
37:17And one of those mistakes was also
37:19not going to Isabel's surgery.
37:24And that put some bad blood between a bunch of us.
37:28It's in plural marriage, it's tough.
37:32It can get confusing for wives and kids
37:35when it comes to the husband and the father,
37:38and they can think someone is more important
37:40or someone is more loved,
37:42or, and I know you love all your kids.
37:45With plural marriage, it's very difficult
37:48for a dad to get one-on-one time with kids.
37:52He has to be really, really present,
37:53but then at the same time, it's still difficult
37:55just because of math, just because time.
37:58It's very natural for kids to kind of
38:01become closer to their mother.
38:03Just last week while I was skiing,
38:04I was up there, it was nice and sunny,
38:07and I texted Gabriel.
38:09Yeah.
38:10And I just thought, I just,
38:12so I reached out to him.
38:15Nothing yet.
38:16Keep trying, okay?
38:18I'm glad to hear you are trying.
38:20I don't try enough, I know that.
38:23That's because it's not safe to go there,
38:25and I'm triggering like crazy.
38:27I know you're going through.
38:28I don't want to trigger
38:29while I'm in a conversation with them.
38:31I'm so angry about what has happened
38:34that if I talk to my kids,
38:36I'm worried that they'll trigger me
38:38with an accusation.
38:40Really, I'll be honest with you,
38:42I don't have the bandwidth yet
38:45to go to God in gratitude
38:48and try and fill my love tank
38:50with the spirit of God.
38:51I'm just bitter right now.
38:53Okay, I'm not going to argue with you anymore.
38:55I'm too hot-headed right now, Robert.
38:57All I'll do is more damage.
38:58Okay, I just want,
38:59I just want to know you're trying, okay?
39:01Okay.
39:02Because this needs,
39:03these relationships do need to get mended.
39:07You know what, Robert?
39:08We've had such a struggle with this,
39:10I'd almost rather just take some time
39:12to get in a better place with you and me,
39:14because I've been in this place
39:16for a very, very long time,
39:17and it's hurt us more than it's hurt them.
39:23Thank you for saying that.
39:24I appreciate that.
39:25It's good to hear.
39:26Well, I'm mad as hell,
39:27and I'm not meaning for it to come out on you.
39:31My heart is broken.
39:32Well, I'm sitting here with the person
39:34that I love the most in the world,
39:37and my heart's still broken.
39:39What do I do with that?
39:40And my heart's broken, too.
39:42You react with this very special
39:45and sweet emotion that you have.
39:47I am angry.
39:49I'm angry out of my mind.
39:52The kids are, they are always
39:55the collateral damage when this happens.
39:58But I'm not trying to damage them.
40:00No, but just, just keep trying.
40:02That's all I'm asking, okay?
40:04I've had one of my kids just said,
40:07you're an asshole.
40:08I'm never talking to you again.
40:10You manipulated me, and you brainwashed me.
40:14Some people think that parental-child relationships
40:17shouldn't, don't have to be reciprocal,
40:20but when they're adults, yeah, they do.
40:23I'm not going to reach out forever.
40:25I'm willing to make the effort,
40:27but somebody else is going to have to be
40:29on the other end of that
40:31and make some effort, too.
40:33I'm not going to camp out on somebody's doorstep.
40:36I really need the space to do it.
40:38I'm not fixing this today, tomorrow, or next week.
40:41Okay.
40:42And with the kids who are reaching out to me
40:44and who are listening to me.
40:46Just promise me you'll keep trying
40:48at least a little bit until you're ready.
40:51Promise me.
40:53Okay, a little bit.
40:56Just enough, a little bit, to let them know
40:58that you, you still care.
41:01Please?
41:02Okay.
41:03They need you when you need them.
41:09Thanks for coming down and talking to me
41:12before I went back in the house.
41:14I didn't want to go back to where we were.
41:17I know those kids need their dad.
41:20They need him.
41:23They need him to try harder.
41:27It's his role.
41:29He's dad.
41:31I don't think he realizes how important that is.
41:34He just doesn't grasp how important a dad is to a child.
41:40Ooh.
41:43Next time on Sister Wives.
41:46Okay, so Dave and I have gone out twice now.
41:49God, he's just solid, and he's real.
41:52I really like him a lot.
41:53Just saying.
41:55I think that Robin definitely has a victim complex.
41:59There's a lot of anger towards Robin.
42:01You know what I mean?
42:02They're leery of Robin.
42:04But I'm not hopeful for a relationship
42:06with Dad and Robin.
42:08For me now, my prayer was just, like, save me and Robin.
42:15Save our marriage, save us, save the special
42:18after this horrible experience of breaking up.