The Three Badasses Who Want Me Short Drama
The Three Badasses Who Want Me Short Drama
#Reel #Short #ReelShort #Romance #EnglishMovie #cdrama #shortfilm #drama #crimedrama #engsub #chinesedramaengsub #movieshortfull #EnglishMovie #cdrama #drama #engsub #chinesedramaengsub #movieshortfull
#Reel #Short #ReelShort #Romance #EnglishMovie #cdrama #shortfilm #drama #crimedrama #engsub #chinesedramaengsub #movieshortfull #EnglishMovie #cdrama #drama #engsub #chinesedramaengsub #movieshortfull
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Short filmTranscript
00:00:00Sir, I found Angela Lockhart.
00:00:15Angela, still selling your hippie junk here?
00:00:18I don't understand why you do so much for him behind the scenes without ever revealing your true identity.
00:00:23Now sign the divorce paper.
00:00:27Baby.
00:00:29I'll sign it.
00:00:31Here, don't look right at it.
00:00:36My lovely princess, I've selected three prime young men for you to choose from.
00:00:41I will chase you to the end of the world if I have to.
00:00:47You must choose one of them in seven days.
00:00:50I'm going. I need to pick up my bride.
00:00:53No!
00:00:55Prepare my warplane!
00:01:01What's the situation here?
00:01:03I want to marry you.
00:01:06Ellen Musk, the only woman on the Forbes 30 Under 30 list, arrives in Atlanta today.
00:01:11What a business tycoon is doing here in Georgia, a forgotten stage no one knows.
00:01:16Angela, my next-door neighbor.
00:01:19Still selling your hippie junk here?
00:01:21If your mother-in-law sees, she's going to throw a big fit again.
00:01:24Your mother-in-law was right about you.
00:01:26What's the point of watching the news all day about these moguls if you can't even apply it to your penniless self?
00:01:31And how do you know that this is none of my business?
00:01:35All right, everybody get out.
00:01:38We've got an important guest coming.
00:01:41I'm going to get you out of here.
00:01:43I'm going to get you out of here.
00:01:45I'm going to get you out of here.
00:01:47I'm going to get you out of here.
00:01:49I'm going to get you out of here.
00:01:51We've got an important guest coming.
00:01:55You.
00:02:00You deaf? I said pack up and scram.
00:02:03I paid the staff here already.
00:02:05And if you want me to leave, then fine.
00:02:07But you have to compensate for today's losses.
00:02:10You want to say that again?
00:02:14You know who's visiting today?
00:02:16Ellen freaking Musk.
00:02:18One of the richest people in the world.
00:02:20Ellen Musk?
00:02:21Of course a hick like you probably never heard of her.
00:02:24Just know that you can't afford to piss her off.
00:02:28Really?
00:02:29Ellen Musk is flying all the way to Atlanta just to come to some flea market.
00:02:34You don't think that she could be coming to see me?
00:02:40Coming to see you?
00:02:42All right, you know what? I'll play your game.
00:02:45If she does this so much as give you a glance,
00:02:48I'll eat dirt.
00:02:51Deal.
00:03:00Ellen Musk, get to the flea market within ten minutes.
00:03:04Or else, you're fired.
00:03:19Prepare the limo.
00:03:21Ms. Lockhart requires us immediately.
00:03:30Ah, your ten minutes is almost up.
00:03:32Good. Hope you don't wet your pants.
00:03:35Five.
00:03:36Four.
00:03:38Three.
00:03:41Two.
00:03:44One.
00:03:48One.
00:03:52Ellen. I mean, Ms. Musk.
00:03:55Ellen, I mean, I'm sorry that I...
00:03:59Sorry to frighten you.
00:04:01How's my boss bitch?
00:04:03Kickin' ass, girlfriend.
00:04:05So how do you, like...
00:04:08She's my boss.
00:04:11I prefer business partner or best friend.
00:04:15Okay.
00:04:18Well?
00:04:22No. No!
00:04:24No, no, I'm sorry for offending your boss.
00:04:26No, I won't do it again.
00:04:30All right, that's enough.
00:04:32We're not tyrants here.
00:04:39Sir, I found Angela Lockhart.
00:04:46You mean Angela Lockhart.
00:04:49My runaway bride.
00:04:52You made me lose one million dollars in just one game of poker.
00:04:57Who are you?
00:05:00Where is she?
00:05:02Atlanta. And you were right.
00:05:04It was secretly her propping up Ellen Musk.
00:05:06My clever bride.
00:05:08I will chase you to the end of the world if I have to.
00:05:15Max, prep the jet.
00:05:17I'm heading to Atlanta.
00:05:23Dr. Wilson, Benning Sterling's on the move.
00:05:25He's headed to Atlanta.
00:05:27Atlanta? The game is afoot. I'm going.
00:05:30Wait, Dr. Wilson, the Prince of Bhutan needs your medical attention.
00:05:33He can wait. I need to pick up my bride.
00:05:39Dr. Wilson!
00:05:46General Eisenhower reporting, sir!
00:05:49Benning Sterling and Shane Wilson are headed to Atlanta.
00:05:52Atlanta!
00:05:54Where is that?
00:05:56Whatever. Prepare my warplane.
00:05:58Don't sue going after my fiancée.
00:06:01This is war.
00:06:16I've secretly allowed your husband, Jared Cooper,
00:06:19to win the bid on the Maple Plaza project, like you asked me to.
00:06:22Thank you so much, Ellen.
00:06:24This is going to be the best anniversary gift ever.
00:06:27That project is worth billions.
00:06:29He can finally take his company public.
00:06:31But Angela, my boss,
00:06:34I don't understand why you do so much for him behind the scenes
00:06:38without ever revealing your true identity.
00:06:41Without your backing,
00:06:43Without your backing?
00:06:45No offense, but he's nothing without you.
00:06:48Well, three years ago...
00:07:10You saved me.
00:07:14You saved me.
00:07:16He saved me, and I fell in love with him instantly.
00:07:20I didn't want to reveal my true identity
00:07:22because I didn't want him to feel the pressure
00:07:24of being with a billionaire heiress.
00:07:27But now, with this contract,
00:07:29I feel like we'll be on more equal footing,
00:07:31and then I can finally come out to the public.
00:07:34So that's why you have me secretly helping him.
00:07:37I'm sure he'll be moved when he finds out.
00:07:41But why work at the flea market?
00:07:44Are you disguising yourself to test him?
00:07:48Well, these exotic spices are incredibly rare
00:07:51and cost a fortune to find.
00:07:53Plus, I get to make the best dishes for my hubby and his mom.
00:07:57You seem happy being a housewife.
00:08:03Where the hell are you?
00:08:05Don't tell me you were selling junk at the flea market again.
00:08:08Get home, stat. It's a big day today.
00:08:13That was...
00:08:14My mother-in-law, Carol.
00:08:16She judges me because she thinks I come from a lower-class family.
00:08:20But she's gonna be ecstatic tonight
00:08:22when I finally come out and tell her who I really am.
00:08:26You know, she even remembered our 30-year anniversary.
00:08:34Please spend more time with my son.
00:08:38Hi, I'm home.
00:08:40I have a big announcement I have to make.
00:08:42Finally, you're back.
00:08:44Now sign the divorce papers.
00:08:48Divorce papers?
00:08:51Is this some sort of misunderstanding, Mom?
00:08:54God, don't call me Mom again.
00:08:58We're ending that relationship.
00:09:00Just look at you. Dirt all over.
00:09:03You're selling the title of Mrs. Cooper.
00:09:05You don't deserve my son.
00:09:07You're way below his league.
00:09:10I'm below his league?
00:09:12That's right. You are.
00:09:15Jared is signing a $100 billion contract tomorrow
00:09:19with the Ellen Musk.
00:09:21And then his company's going public.
00:09:24That's how much he's accomplished in three years.
00:09:26But you?
00:09:28You're still just a stinky, hippie peddler.
00:09:32Jared's like the king in the clouds.
00:09:34And you...
00:09:36will always just be a pawn.
00:09:39Like dirt...
00:09:41on our shoes.
00:09:44Dirt on your shoes?
00:09:46But Ellen Musk works for me.
00:09:49You're delusional.
00:09:51You will never upgrade to a queen.
00:09:53How dare you compare yourself to the real deal here?
00:09:59Resorting to lies.
00:10:01Definitely not good enough for Jared.
00:10:03And who are you to come into my house
00:10:06and meddle with my family matters?
00:10:10You're nothing but a pathetic excuse for a wife.
00:10:16Jared deserves a queen like Kaylee.
00:10:18Not a lowlife dirtbag.
00:10:20Enough!
00:10:22Jared...
00:10:24I knew you wouldn't divorce me.
00:10:26But I am.
00:10:29Don't fight it, Angela.
00:10:31Here's 500K.
00:10:33You'll never make this much as a hippie peddler selling spices.
00:10:37Now sign the papers, take your check, and leave.
00:10:40Don't embarrass yourself further.
00:10:44I've done so much for you these past three years.
00:10:48Did that not mean anything to you?
00:10:51Didn't expect you to be so greedy.
00:10:54Fine.
00:10:56Here's another 200,000.
00:10:59500,000 is too much for her already.
00:11:01She's done nothing.
00:11:03Hasn't even contributed a grandchild.
00:11:06She just sells cheap grass all day.
00:11:09Is that really how much I'm worth to all of you?
00:11:13I took care of both of you these past three years.
00:11:18You think we can't just hire a maid to cook for us or something?
00:11:22And she wouldn't embarrass us with that permanent stench.
00:11:26A hippie peddler becoming the wife of a CEO?
00:11:30What a joke.
00:11:31If you actually love my son,
00:11:34you'll sign the damn divorce papers already.
00:11:37And leave!
00:11:40You really think that Jared would have gotten that Mabel Plaza bid without me?
00:11:45Let alone taking the company public?
00:11:47I did everything for you, Jared.
00:11:51Now you take credit for my son's success?
00:11:57It's all my work!
00:12:01Baby, we're going to be late for the auction
00:12:05if we keep letting this psycho stall us.
00:12:09You did say you would win me Princess Diana's tiara, didn't you?
00:12:14So, she's the reason for the divorce.
00:12:18She's worth more than you, Angela.
00:12:22Fine.
00:12:24I'll sign it.
00:12:27But don't regret it.
00:12:30Regret?
00:12:32Do I know who I am?
00:12:34Yeah, a cockroach that only knows how to crawl her way into a married man's bed?
00:12:38I'm Eric Vanderbilt's only daughter.
00:12:42Jared winning the bid on Mabel Plaza was because of my dad.
00:12:47Because he's business partners with Ellen Musk.
00:12:51It's part of the power that I have as an elite.
00:12:55You can't do shit because you're poor.
00:12:59Social stratum matters.
00:13:01Yeah, social stratum does matter.
00:13:05And the Coopers are beneath me.
00:13:08And you really think Ellen Musk would come to Atlanta if it weren't for me?
00:13:13Ha! You're delusional!
00:13:16Now sign the papers and scram!
00:13:21You owe me.
00:13:23You dirty bitch. You sicken me.
00:13:32You hit me.
00:13:36Now sign the papers, take a track, and get the fuck out!
00:13:51I don't need your penny money.
00:13:55We're finished.
00:13:57You don't want the money? That's your loss.
00:14:00Your check is just pennies to me.
00:14:03But I would like my ring back.
00:14:15Have fun.
00:14:19Have fun on your economy flight
00:14:22while I catch a ride on my private helicopter out of here.
00:14:30And I'm way out of your league.
00:14:37Isn't that the Winston Blue Diamond Ring?
00:14:41It's worth tens of millions of dollars.
00:14:45Oh, it's probably just cheap glass.
00:14:48Something she found at the flea market.
00:14:50You're right. She could never afford anything so expensive.
00:14:56Congrats, Jared Boo Boo, on getting rid of that dirt bag.
00:15:01Oh! My dad says there's going to be a secret big-shot financial tycoon at tomorrow's summit.
00:15:08Bigger big-shot than Ellen Musk?
00:15:11Yeah. And nobody's met them, but I can introduce you.
00:15:16Everything's thanks to you, babe.
00:15:34Angela, Mr. Vanderbilt, the richest man in Georgia, wants to schedule a meeting before the bidding.
00:15:39Vanderbilt?
00:15:40Yeah. He's actually CEO of one of our companies. Basically, our employee.
00:15:44Oh, okay. I'll meet him at the summit tomorrow. It's fine.
00:15:47You're still going to the summit tomorrow? You and Jared Cooper are already divorced.
00:15:51That's exactly why I'm going.
00:16:10Angela Lockhart. I finally found you.
00:16:15Who is he?
00:16:17That? That's Devin Sterling.
00:16:20He's number one on Forbes' 30 under 30 list, an early investor of crypto, CEO of Sterling Enterprises.
00:16:26Rumor has it he's worth trillions.
00:16:29And he's your fiancé.
00:16:32What? What?
00:16:35Your fiancé.
00:16:37What? What? My fiancé?
00:16:40The one and only.
00:16:43So, after running away and leaving me single for three years, have you figured out how you're going to make it up to me yet, babe?
00:16:54Hmm.
00:17:00That tiara looks perfect on you.
00:17:06What is she doing here?
00:17:11You skank. My son just divorced you yesterday and you're already hooking up with another man?
00:17:18Divorced?
00:17:20That's right. So, I guess this was never meant to be, mister...
00:17:26Sterling. Devin Sterling.
00:17:30So she has to hide her marital status to find another man.
00:17:33Guess she's not just a forsaken woman. She's also a stinky, penniless whore.
00:17:41How dare you insult my boss like that.
00:17:44Who the fuck are you, bitch?
00:17:48Do you know who I am?
00:17:50They don't know who you are.
00:17:53You hide it well.
00:17:56X-Team! Teach these fools a lesson.
00:18:01Teach these fools a lesson.
00:18:07Sir, you were kind of in a rush when you flew to Atlanta and then to New York.
00:18:11You forgot to bring the security team.
00:18:18Mind if I borrow your men?
00:18:21Go ahead.
00:18:25Tell these ill-mannered apes out.
00:18:28Oh, you bitch. I'll have my son teach you a real lesson.
00:18:38A kiss as a reward, my lady.
00:18:42No.
00:18:48Uh, guest list is very distinguished tonight.
00:18:52You've got Bill Ford, Harvey Buffett, old money like me.
00:18:57Gentlemen, Harvey, Bill, this is Jared Cooper.
00:19:00Pleased to meet you all. Your families all started empires after the Industrial Revolution. What an honor.
00:19:06I heard you secured the Maple Plaza project.
00:19:09It's worth billions of dollars. Congrats. You'll be next.
00:19:13Thank you. But we haven't received the contract yet. We deserve it.
00:19:17Oh, that's nothing. I introduced this kid to Ellen Musk.
00:19:20Vanderbilts and Miss Musk have always had a good relationship.
00:19:23So, thought I'd help the kid out, pull a few strings.
00:19:27Thank you, Mr. Vanderbilt.
00:19:29Now, we just have to impress Miss Musk's special guest of honor.
00:19:33Oh, yes. I heard they're a very important and powerful gang.
00:19:38Even wealthier than Ellen Musk.
00:19:41Now, if we can just secure a position with this big shot, we can feast for generations.
00:19:50I'll do my best.
00:19:56Excuse me.
00:19:57A second, gentlemen.
00:19:58What if it's the Prince of Bhutan?
00:20:03How did a hobo like you sneak in here?
00:20:07Me? A hobo?
00:20:09How did a cheating scumbag like you sneak in here?
00:20:12You sleep your way in?
00:20:13I told you, Angela Lockhart, don't bother stalking me.
00:20:16Nothing will come of it, and it only sickens me further.
00:20:19Don't flatter yourself.
00:20:24This is your ex-husband?
00:20:28What, were you blindfolded when you married him?
00:20:30Who the hell is this?
00:20:32You were cheating on me?
00:20:37Son, you have to avenge me and Kaylee.
00:20:40That wicked ex-wife of yours hired some thugs and a gigolo to beat us up.
00:20:45They even took Kaylee's tiara.
00:20:56I'm sorry.
00:20:57I'm sorry.
00:20:58I'm sorry.
00:20:59I'm sorry.
00:21:00I'm sorry.
00:21:01I'm sorry.
00:21:02I'm sorry.
00:21:03I'm sorry.
00:21:04I'm sorry.
00:21:05I'm sorry.
00:21:09You dare hurt my mom and Kaylee?
00:21:14Get your hands off of her!
00:21:19My lady.
00:21:35My queen.
00:21:46It's...
00:21:48It's him!
00:21:50He scammed a million dollars off me in a game of poker yesterday.
00:21:53Who are these peasants?
00:21:55These seats are reserved for the Ellen Muskiner special guest.
00:22:00Oh, shut up, old man.
00:22:03You're disturbing the peace.
00:22:07Fuckers, you know who that is?
00:22:09That's Eric Vanderbilt.
00:22:10You have any idea how many generations of wealth he has?
00:22:13His ancestors built the railway and steamship empire of America.
00:22:17This civil war would not have been won without his family's involvement.
00:22:21Vanderbilt.
00:22:23The father of that skank, Kaylee Vanderbilt.
00:22:27Who only knows how to crawl her way into a married man's bed.
00:22:32That?
00:22:33Only Vanderbilt family.
00:22:41Oh, god damn it.
00:22:43A stomachache now?
00:22:48Whatever.
00:22:49Angela can handle herself.
00:22:50She'll be fine.
00:23:03How dare you call one of us low?
00:23:06I'm Harvey F. N. Buffett.
00:23:08The most important investor in the entire stock market.
00:23:12I can wipe you out with a simple pinky only.
00:23:16And I can wipe you out with just a strand of my hair.
00:23:20Not with me around.
00:23:22I, Bill Ford, and the entire Ford Auto Empire stand with these gentlemen.
00:23:27You're all just peasants compared to who I really am.
00:23:32You're fucking delusional, Angela.
00:23:34We've had enough of your games.
00:23:36Security!
00:23:37Break their limbs and toss them out.
00:23:40Looks like the old guard is teaming up against you.
00:23:43But don't worry.
00:23:45You got new money here.
00:23:48I can handle myself, thank you.
00:23:51Yes, my queen.
00:23:53You're all despicable.
00:23:56An insult to your family names.
00:23:59Now, it's my turn to rule.
00:24:03Destroy Jared Cooper.
00:24:06Cut off all business ties.
00:24:08And if you don't,
00:24:11I will take away all of your family's wealth and power.
00:24:16I knew it.
00:24:17You're here to fuck with me.
00:24:19You can't fool anyone here.
00:24:20How much money did you spend on that getup?
00:24:22And to hire that gigolo to make me jealous?
00:24:25You're an orphan.
00:24:26Who sells hippie spices at a flea market.
00:24:29You have nothing.
00:24:30And you will always be nothing.
00:24:33She's a gold digger.
00:24:36Gold digger?
00:24:37Gigolo.
00:24:39Wanna try me for a night?
00:24:41Yeah, you're a little too pricey.
00:24:43Mr. Vanderbilt, we really shouldn't keep these bandits here any longer.
00:24:46They might upset Miss Ellen Musk and her special guest.
00:24:49Angela Lockhart is my spurned ex-wife.
00:24:51She's only here to try and ruin my bill in the maple plaza.
00:24:54She's only here to try and ruin my bill in the maple plaza project.
00:24:56Oh, I'm gonna kill that sushi chef!
00:24:59Security!
00:25:05Security!
00:25:07You all don't realize that you actually all work for me.
00:25:10And now you're trying to throw a coup?
00:25:13You!
00:25:15Insolent fools.
00:25:17Let me guess.
00:25:18You're that special guest?
00:25:21I don't know.
00:25:23Throw them out!
00:25:24And not without some broken bones, too.
00:25:33Back down, ass.
00:25:38I got this.
00:25:52Whoa!
00:25:57Hey!
00:25:58Hey, you!
00:26:06What the hell are you two doing here?
00:26:08I thought we were supposed to guard you.
00:26:10No, you're supposed to make sure Miss Lockhart is okay.
00:26:13Oh my God, we're so screwed!
00:26:23Angela!
00:26:25Don't hurt her!
00:26:26You bitch.
00:26:27I've always been sick of you.
00:26:28You just threw yourself at me.
00:26:29How dare you insult my boss like that?
00:26:32Boss?
00:26:33Did she say her boss?
00:26:35Miss Musk?
00:26:36That's Ellen Musk?
00:26:38That woman right there is Angela Lockhart.
00:26:40My boss and sole heiress to the Henry Lockhart's fortune.
00:26:44Their lineage is older than this country itself.
00:26:47Past the American Revolution?
00:26:49Back to the Renaissance.
00:26:51If she's your boss, then that means Angela Lockhart is...
00:26:54That's Lady Lockhart to you.
00:26:56She's royalty.
00:26:57And since you're all subsidiaries, she's your boss's boss.
00:27:01What the hell did you do?
00:27:03Kneel to me.
00:27:04Oh, your Majesty.
00:27:07Welcome to the United States.
00:27:10We've always been your loyal subjects.
00:27:13Yes, your Highness.
00:27:15Is it a queen or princess?
00:27:18It doesn't matter.
00:27:20My queen, please forgive our insolence.
00:27:23We didn't mean to offend.
00:27:25Hey, what are you doing, idiot?
00:27:27Let go of the boss lady and beg for forgiveness.
00:27:40What rightfully belongs to you.
00:27:50She's a badass herself.
00:27:52He missed out on a good wife.
00:27:54You, you, you told me your wife was a hippie peddler.
00:27:58Turns out you were the freeloading scumbag this entire time.
00:28:01No, no, don't believe their lies.
00:28:03I worked hard for everything.
00:28:05You worked for everything?
00:28:09I'm sorry.
00:28:10I'm sorry.
00:28:11I'm sorry.
00:28:12I'm sorry.
00:28:13I'm sorry.
00:28:14I'm sorry.
00:28:15I'm sorry.
00:28:16I'm sorry.
00:28:17I'm sorry.
00:28:18I'm sorry.
00:28:22Hi honey.
00:28:24So, our third year anniversary is coming up
00:28:27and I thought that maybe we could do something special this year.
00:28:30I can't focus on anything trivial like that.
00:28:32I have to figure out this bid for the Maple Plaza project
00:28:35and if I get it, I can take the company public.
00:28:41You were nothing before me.
00:28:48All your achievements, all your glory, that's all mine, including the Maple Plaza contract.
00:28:56I can take all of that away, just like that.
00:29:00No, you can't take that away from me.
00:29:03That's why Ellen Musk was urging us to pass on deals to this nobody.
00:29:07Oh, and this antique wedding ring, yeah, I forgot to tell you.
00:29:12It was Queen Victoria's, and its worth is equivalent to more than an entire country's
00:29:16GDP.
00:29:17Oh, no.
00:29:18I gave you back the ring, I divorced a royal heiress?
00:29:29No, please, take me back, baby, I still love you.
00:29:38Oh, man, looks like they've started the party without us.
00:29:41No one's allowed to start a fight without Cole Eisenhower.
00:29:51Guard these two again.
00:29:52Did he say, is he Cole Eisenhower?
00:29:56President Eisenhower's descendant.
00:29:57After General Eisenhower won World War II, each of his descendants have all gone on to
00:30:01become five-star generals, the highest rank in the nation's military.
00:30:04Bloody buffoons know your history.
00:30:06Sorry I'm late, babe, I got lost trying to find Atlanta, then lost again on my way back
00:30:11to New York.
00:30:17And that there is, that is the legendary boy genius, Dr. Wilson.
00:30:22He's Dr. House's protege.
00:30:23Dr. House?
00:30:24I thought that was just a TV show.
00:30:25Oh, no, that's based on a real figure.
00:30:28Yep, that's me, son of James House.
00:30:31Dr. House, he's practically my uncle.
00:30:34I correctly diagnosed the Pope before him when I was just 12 years old.
00:30:38So he's been off carrying himself a waterfall somewhere in the Netherlands for the last
00:30:4214 years.
00:30:43And I'm late because I ran out of gum and had to make a pit stop.
00:30:49Hey, Ellen, who are these weirdos and why are they here?
00:30:55Uh, they're all your fiancés.
00:30:58What?
00:30:59Fiancés?
00:31:00Plural?
00:31:01Fiancés?
00:31:02Plural?
00:31:03Watch it, nerds.
00:31:04I'm her fiancé.
00:31:05No, I'm her fiancé.
00:31:06You can both shut up.
00:31:07I'm her fiancé.
00:31:08It's you.
00:31:09It's me.
00:31:10Who the hell is he?
00:31:11I'm Spider-Man.
00:31:12I'm Spider-Man.
00:31:13I'm Spider-Man.
00:31:14I'm Spider-Man.
00:31:15I'm Spider-Man.
00:31:16It's me.
00:31:17Who the hell is he?
00:31:18I'm Spider-Man.
00:31:19How are all three of these men my fiancé?
00:31:25Uh, your father had arranged these engagements years ago, but I didn't tell you because he
00:31:29decided to marry Jared Cooper at the time.
00:31:32She has three badass fiancés and she marries his dumb ass.
00:31:39Whatever.
00:31:40Since you're all here, help me finish them.
00:31:46At your service.
00:31:48Me too.
00:31:54One down, two more to go.
00:31:56She's become queen.
00:31:57Bishop to G4.
00:32:02Ow!
00:32:03Ow!
00:32:04Ow!
00:32:05What in the world is that?
00:32:06The most germ-infested water in the Nile River.
00:32:10Ah!
00:32:11Ow!
00:32:12Ow!
00:32:13Ow!
00:32:14Ow!
00:32:16Rook to A8.
00:32:24Hello?
00:32:27I thought I was king.
00:32:28No, you wish.
00:32:29The king doesn't do anything, so Alan can be my king.
00:32:33Oh, fine.
00:32:38Big Rook to four.
00:32:39It's right this second.
00:32:40I've...
00:32:41I've been bankrupt!
00:32:42No!
00:32:43Who is it?
00:32:44I've been bankrupt!
00:32:45No!
00:32:46I told you I would remove all of you from status and power if you didn't cooperate.
00:32:47Well, guess what?
00:32:48Game over.
00:32:49All right, boys.
00:32:50Let's figure out this four-way.
00:32:51What?
00:32:52What?
00:32:53What?
00:32:54What?
00:32:55What?
00:32:56What?
00:32:57What?
00:32:58What?
00:32:59What?
00:33:00What?
00:33:01What?
00:33:02What?
00:33:03What?
00:33:04What?
00:33:05What?
00:33:06What?
00:33:07What?
00:33:08What?
00:33:09Let's figure out this four-way engagement.
00:33:11Oh, that's serious business.
00:33:13I'm right with you!
00:33:16Wait for me!
00:33:17Nobody beats me to the finish line!
00:33:28Angela!
00:33:31You already have three fiancées?
00:33:34You can't accuse me of cheating.
00:33:36I want compensation.
00:33:41You greedy SOB.
00:33:43Who the fuck is that?
00:33:44My ex-husband.
00:33:46Wait.
00:33:47You were married?
00:33:48Yeah.
00:33:49And if that's a problem for you, then you can totally back out of this engagement.
00:33:53More for me.
00:33:54No, no.
00:33:55Of course not.
00:33:56Just...
00:33:57Do you want me to check your eyes for you?
00:33:59Don't steal my joke.
00:34:00I can make him disappear without a trace.
00:34:02All the evidence of your past with him is gone.
00:34:05What?
00:34:06Is there something on my face?
00:34:07Uh, yeah.
00:34:08Murderous intent.
00:34:10Let's remarry.
00:34:12Let's remarry.
00:34:14You still don't realize.
00:34:17I only fell in love with you because you saved me from drowning three years ago.
00:34:35Sir, it's an emergency.
00:34:37We need to wreck right away.
00:34:39Nicole Eisenhower and Shane Wilson are causing mayhem at the company warehouse.
00:34:43Okay, I'm on my way.
00:34:47She should be okay now.
00:34:52Hey, you!
00:34:54What's going on?
00:34:56What's going on?
00:34:58I'm sorry.
00:34:59I'm sorry.
00:35:00I'm sorry.
00:35:01I'm sorry.
00:35:02I'm sorry.
00:35:03I'm sorry.
00:35:04Hey, you!
00:35:05Watch over here.
00:35:06I'll be right back.
00:35:16You saved me.
00:35:20Fuck.
00:35:21I unwittingly gave away my own wife.
00:35:25Fuck.
00:35:26I unwittingly gave away my own wife.
00:35:28You've cheated on me.
00:35:30You've hit me.
00:35:31You've insulted me.
00:35:32And after all that, I never want to see you again.
00:35:36I fucking hate you.
00:35:39Hello, ladies.
00:35:41What now?
00:35:43Yes, we understand that you are a very busy person.
00:35:48But if you're not going to give your ex-husband the Maple Plaza project...
00:35:52How about us three?
00:35:54Yes, unlike that scumbag, we won't turn on you.
00:35:57Yeah, no.
00:35:59You're all fired for trying to throw a coup.
00:36:00But...
00:36:02This is your fault, you doofus.
00:36:04We never should have believed your bullshit.
00:36:06No.
00:36:08No.
00:36:09We can't lose our positions with Ellen Musk and the Lockhawks.
00:36:13Our family.
00:36:15I'll get you for this.
00:36:23I never should have listened to you.
00:36:25I'm ruined because of you.
00:36:30Ugh.
00:36:40So...
00:36:42What's the situation here?
00:36:43I don't want to marry you.
00:36:53I don't want to marry you.
00:36:56Listen.
00:36:58I only met you guys a few hours ago.
00:37:01And I'm not interested in flash marriages.
00:37:04But what if I told you...
00:37:06That we've known each other for much longer than just a few hours.
00:37:10Much longer.
00:37:14Angela?
00:37:16Your parents would like to have a video call with all of you.
00:37:23My lovely princess, how are you?
00:37:26Look, your mother and I are in Italy.
00:37:28The views here are absolutely stunning.
00:37:31Perfect for a wedding, wouldn't you say?
00:37:33I heard you finally divorced that good-for-nothing, blood-sucking, freeloader husband of yours.
00:37:41Can't call his name, but...
00:37:43Anyway, congratulations.
00:37:45I've selected three prime young men for you to choose from to replace him.
00:37:50You must pick one of them to marry.
00:37:53Otherwise...
00:37:55Let me do it.
00:37:56You must choose one of them in seven days.
00:37:59Otherwise...
00:38:01We'll kill ourselves.
00:38:03Mom!
00:38:05Alright honey, that's it.
00:38:07Bye!
00:38:12So, who are you going to choose?
00:38:16Well...
00:38:18What if I want all three of you?
00:38:21Well...
00:38:23What if I want all three of you?
00:38:26That seems greedy.
00:38:33But...
00:38:35I can always remove the other two options.
00:38:38Hey!
00:38:40I may be a doctor, but I can take lives too.
00:38:43I know and have access to all the deadliest poisons in the world.
00:38:47Well, okay.
00:38:49No murder, please.
00:38:51I was just kidding.
00:38:53You have seven days to win her over.
00:38:54Seven days to win her over?
00:38:56Oh, it's like the Bachelorette.
00:38:59I know.
00:39:01We'll start with challenge one.
00:39:04Welcome to the show, The Three Badasses Who Want Me.
00:39:08Today, we have our first challenge.
00:39:12What is all of this, Ellen?
00:39:16You'll see.
00:39:24Oh my god! Oh my god!
00:39:26Cockroaches!
00:39:28All women are afraid of cockroaches.
00:39:30And it is every man's job to save their beloved woman from this monstrosity of a creature.
00:39:36What will our three candidates do to prove their undying love for our single, but screaming her head off heiress?
00:39:51Looks like one of our contestants has already called it quits.
00:39:54On to the final two.
00:40:19Crunchy.
00:40:21That is sick cold.
00:40:22Hey, when you're stranded in the middle of the battlefield, you'll be glad to see one of these around.
00:40:28There are two more left.
00:40:30Want to try one?
00:40:31God, no! No!
00:40:34Oh my god, save me!
00:40:36Save you? You're going to save me!
00:40:40I'm a germophobic doctor.
00:40:42These hands can't get germs on them.
00:40:44They're for surgery and saving lives.
00:40:52Woo!
00:40:57Woo!
00:41:01Thank god you're here.
00:41:05Are you alright, honey?
00:41:07Angela!
00:41:11Alright, you won the first challenge, so your reward, you get to watch over her for the night.
00:41:17Just don't cross the line if you know what I mean.
00:41:20I'm not her scumbag husband.
00:41:21You have nothing to worry about.
00:41:28Honestly, even if you guys fuck, it's not like it's against the rules or anything.
00:41:32At least my girl can get some.
00:41:34I bet her husband has a small dick anyway.
00:41:38The cockroaches!
00:41:39They're gone, they're gone.
00:41:41There's nothing in this room except you and me, okay?
00:41:44I'm going to kill Ellen when I see her tomorrow.
00:41:51I need a drink.
00:42:00Whoa, easy! You're on an empty stomach.
00:42:03Oh, why do you care?
00:42:06I'm trying to drink away your sorrows, Angela.
00:42:11You guys were right.
00:42:13I was blind from marrying that asshole.
00:42:15You know, I wasted three whole years of my life with him.
00:42:22He never even loved me.
00:42:24And I gave up my entire career for him.
00:42:30Do you really think that you would still be number one on the Forbes 30 under 30 list if I was around?
00:42:38You may not be number one on Forbes list, but you know what you're number one in?
00:42:43What?
00:42:45You're number one here.
00:42:55You know, we've known each other kind of a long time.
00:42:58Lies.
00:43:01You all just want something from me.
00:43:09Angela, I know it's hard to trust again.
00:43:12But I assure you, I don't care what family you're from.
00:43:18I'm the richest man in the nation.
00:43:20I don't need your power, your status, your wealth, your connections.
00:43:27I just need you.
00:43:31I'll prove my love to you within six days, I promise.
00:43:42Okay.
00:43:48Screw the contest.
00:43:50I just want love.
00:43:53Angela, you're drunk.
00:43:56I'm an adult. Can't I go just get what she wants?
00:44:00Okay.
00:44:05But love and sex aren't exactly the same thing.
00:44:07Well, they're not mutually exclusive either.
00:44:19This is what you want.
00:44:379-inch penis.
00:44:39Morning to you too.
00:44:41You sure you were drunk last night? You wouldn't...
00:44:44A girl remembers when she's had a 9-inch penis inside of her.
00:44:49Well, glad you enjoyed it.
00:44:52But don't tell Shane or Cole.
00:44:55I don't want to.
00:44:57I don't want to.
00:44:59I don't want to.
00:45:01I don't want to.
00:45:03I don't want to.
00:45:05I don't want to.
00:45:07Because then they would...
00:45:09Say that you're being unfair?
00:45:11Technically, us having sex doesn't break any rules.
00:45:14I won the first challenge, and according to Ellen, my prize was to spend a night with you anyways.
00:45:21Don't make this any harder than it already is.
00:45:27You sure you don't want it pretty hard?
00:45:31It's not...
00:45:34Fine, fine, fine.
00:45:37I won't tell.
00:45:40But only on one condition.
00:45:44I won't tell.
00:45:46But only on one condition.
00:45:49You have to go out on a date with me.
00:45:52Fine.
00:45:56I've had a crush on you since college, Angela.
00:46:00You never noticed me.
00:46:02Fine.
00:46:06You should get dressed and get out of here before anyone sees you.
00:46:11It's only 7am.
00:46:13She's still sleeping.
00:46:14Am I sleeping alone?
00:46:15Yeah, I'm not letting my fiancé be alone with another man for another second.
00:46:21Morning, gentlemen.
00:46:23Or shall I say ruffmen?
00:46:25Oh, don't mind him.
00:46:27What's up, guys?
00:46:29We're ready for the second challenge.
00:46:31The second challenge?
00:46:33No cockroaches this time.
00:46:35Yes, no more terrifying things.
00:46:37That was my bad, Angela.
00:46:39This better be a good challenge, Ellen.
00:46:41I'm sure you'll all enjoy this one.
00:46:43The second challenge is...
00:46:45The second challenge is...
00:46:47A date.
00:46:48Lame.
00:46:49I should have asked for something else.
00:46:50A date?
00:46:52That's it.
00:46:53What's the catch?
00:46:55No catch.
00:46:56Just who Ms. Lockhart enjoys spending her time with the most.
00:46:58As simple as that.
00:46:59I know what I want to do.
00:47:00Okay, who goes up first?
00:47:02Me.
00:47:03Save the best for last.
00:47:05Ain't that right, Angela?
00:47:07Then it's decided.
00:47:11Please don't take my BMW away!
00:47:15Too bad.
00:47:16You pissed off the Lockharts.
00:47:18I have nothing left!
00:47:20It's that bitch who ruined me!
00:47:26It's that bitch who ruined me!
00:47:37General Eisenhower, sir!
00:47:39At ease, Lieutenant.
00:47:41This is my lieutenant.
00:47:43He also manages this bar.
00:47:45He's a good guy.
00:47:47He's a good guy.
00:47:48He's a good guy.
00:47:49He also manages this boxing gym.
00:47:51Pleasure to meet you, Madam Eisenhower!
00:47:53You're so serious.
00:47:54But, hang on.
00:47:56Lieutenant, I don't know who I'm going to marry yet!
00:47:59Baby!
00:48:00I decided to take you here on our first date so that I can introduce you to my guns.
00:48:04Guns?
00:48:05Like, murder weapons?
00:48:07Yes.
00:48:08Murder weapons.
00:48:19Like my guns, babe?
00:48:21Pretty Lockhart.
00:48:23Yeah.
00:48:25Let me show you what I can do with them.
00:48:27Lieutenant!
00:48:29Come close!
00:48:31Wait!
00:48:32You're just going to hit him like that?
00:48:34He's not even going to fight back?
00:48:35Fighting back would be treason, ma'am!
00:48:37Treason?
00:48:39You guys are way too serious.
00:48:41Look, you Lockharts!
00:48:43I'm not going to hit you!
00:48:45I'm not going to hit you!
00:48:47I'm not going to hit you!
00:48:49Lockhart, bitch, I caught you!
00:48:51If I'm going down, you're all going down with me!
00:48:54Lieutenant, here's your attack!
00:49:08You dare try to hurt my wife?
00:49:12I will make you pay!
00:49:13You don't need to keep beating him up.
00:49:15We could just take him to the cops.
00:49:17Not when he tries to hurt you!
00:49:25Zoe's a bit violent.
00:49:27Some might call it being protective.
00:49:29Poor anger issues.
00:49:31What if we get married and I forget to use a coaster on an antique table or something?
00:49:35Is he going to be, like, rough?
00:49:38Hey, some girls are into that.
00:49:40I don't know if I'm into that.
00:49:41I don't know if I am.
00:49:44Well, maybe Shane will be your type.
00:49:49Your date with Shane starts now.
00:49:56Hey, cool ride.
00:49:59A gift from the Chancellor of Germany when I saved his wife.
00:50:02Impressive.
00:50:06Your breath smells like peppermint.
00:50:09Refreshing.
00:50:11I got cool mint, too.
00:50:14Or do you prefer spearmint?
00:50:17What do you not have in this coat of yours?
00:50:20Fruit flavored gum.
00:50:21I can't stand those.
00:50:23So, where are you taking me, Shane?
00:50:25Let me show you.
00:50:33Dr. Wilson!
00:50:35Our VIP of VIPs!
00:50:37Right this way.
00:50:38VIP of VIPs.
00:50:39Ah, just some other guy I saved.
00:50:42I forget who.
00:50:43You saved a lot of people.
00:50:45I do what I can.
00:50:47Oh my gosh!
00:50:49It's my gold-digging neighbor who just got dumped by her husband.
00:50:54Sandra Miller, what are you doing here?
00:50:57I just thought this was for the VIP of VIPs.
00:51:00Your mother-in-law told me all about the divorce and how you hired some gigolo to beat her and Kaylee Vanderbilt up.
00:51:07How low of you.
00:51:09What are you doing here, Sandra?
00:51:11Of course your bird brain wouldn't remember.
00:51:13I sell high-fashion jewelry pieces so high-end, you couldn't even afford even a few soldier organs.
00:51:20The auction begins.
00:51:22I'll deal with you later.
00:51:25Here, I'll just be one second.
00:51:31Cameron, I have a task for you.
00:51:33Our next piece is absolutely extraordinary.
00:51:37Cleopatra's armband, sold by our vendor, Sandra Miller, for five million dollars.
00:51:45Excuse me.
00:51:47I'd like to donate this piece to auction.
00:51:50It's Queen Victoria's ring.
00:51:53I'd like to donate this piece to auction.
00:51:56It's Queen Victoria's ring.
00:51:58What are you doing?
00:52:00Just watch.
00:52:02Just watch.
00:52:09That is Queen Victoria's ring?
00:52:12Please, I'm an expert and that's a fake.
00:52:15She probably got it at the flea market she works at.
00:52:18You work at a flea market?
00:52:19Not this again.
00:52:21Cut the bullshit, that wouldn't even sell for five dollars.
00:52:24Oh yeah? Here, you want it? For free.
00:52:27Ew, I don't want that trash from a stinky hippie peddler.
00:52:30Well, that's too bad then, because you are the fraud.
00:52:36What are you talking about? Who the hell are you to accuse me?
00:52:40Throw them out.
00:52:42Dr. Wilson, I know you're a legend in medicine, but we're professionals.
00:52:47Oh yeah? And that armband sells for five million dollars?
00:52:51Yeah, mine is the real thing.
00:52:54You two are just upset because you're too poor to afford our luxury items.
00:52:58Why is that so?
00:53:00When a so-called expert failed to recognize Queen Victoria's ring then?
00:53:04Dear Lord, this is real.
00:53:09It's authentic.
00:53:11It's Queen Victoria's ring.
00:53:15Karen, what have you found?
00:53:18Yeah, that picture of Cleopatra's armband you sent me, it's a replica.
00:53:24They had the same one right here at the flea market.
00:53:26So, you're the fraud.
00:53:30You just went to the flea market so you can buy some fakes.
00:53:33And Cameron, how much are these fakes being sold for?
00:53:37150.
00:53:39Wow, not even five dollars. Sandra.
00:53:43You've been duping us the whole time? Arrest her!
00:53:48No! Please! This is my time! Please!
00:53:52What's going on, Dr. Wilson?
00:53:53Uh, investigating lead poisoning from cheap jewelry for the Emperor of Japan. Bye.
00:53:58Black Callista from the jewelry industry forever.
00:54:09I had a really great time tonight.
00:54:12Me too. May I have a kiss?
00:54:15May I have a kiss?
00:54:32Something wrong?
00:54:34Do you always have gum in your mouth?
00:54:36Thanks.
00:54:42Yep, you never have to worry about stinky breath from me.
00:54:55You owe us a bunch of money, Cooper.
00:55:00I don't have any money.
00:55:02How did you pay for this hotel then?
00:55:03I guess you'll only pay up if I break your other leg.
00:55:10Stop!
00:55:15Mr. Vandervilt.
00:55:18Mr. Buffett.
00:55:23This is the contract for the Maple Plaza project.
00:55:26That's right. Miss Musk wanted me to give it to you.
00:55:29I knew Angela was still in love with me.
00:55:32I knew Angela was still in love with me.
00:55:35Sorry about those injuries from earlier. It was all just a little misunderstanding.
00:55:41Yeah, we could be partners again.
00:55:44And then maybe you can tell Lady Lockhart to put in a good word for us?
00:55:50Angela still loves me. She's just throwing a fit. She'll be back to me soon enough.
00:55:55Yeah, do you need any help winning her back? We can give you jewelry to give to her.
00:55:59I was just sucking up to these pricks a few days ago, but now they're all begging me to help them out.
00:56:05It feels so damn good to be in power.
00:56:08Sure. I'll put in a good word for you.
00:56:12I just need...
00:56:13Anything. You tell us, we'll give you anything.
00:56:16Once I take everything from these idiots, I'll go after Angela Lockhart for my revenge.
00:56:29I'm giving the contract to Jared Cooper, just like you asked me to.
00:56:33Well done. He'll be fucked soon.
00:56:37Well done. He'll be fucked soon.
00:56:40I don't get it, Ms. Musk.
00:56:42That contract has a preliminary clause. It requires him to pay 50% of the costs up front as a deposit.
00:56:48And if he can't, then what?
00:56:50He'll be bankrupt.
00:56:52So as long as he's greedy, I have to take it.
00:56:53I'm avenging my best friend.
00:56:56I want to show the world that without Angela Lockhart, he's nothing.
00:57:05I signed the Maple Plaza project.
00:57:09We should celebrate.
00:57:11You did? You see, I know my son has it in him.
00:57:14That skank Angela is nothing next to you.
00:57:18And it's all thanks to you, sweetheart.
00:57:20Actually, it's thanks to Angela.
00:57:25What?
00:57:27You're trying to ditch me to go back to your wife?
00:57:30Oh, no, no, no. He's not.
00:57:32Jared, what are you doing?
00:57:34You have such a beautiful and bright future ahead of you.
00:57:37It's my decision, Mom. I'm the head of the house here.
00:57:41I'm telling my dad.
00:57:43Fine. Go right ahead. He has enough problems himself.
00:57:45If you're obedient, I'll keep you around as his side piece.
00:57:49But if not, you can scram.
00:57:51Dad, Jared is being mean to me.
00:57:55Teach him a lesson.
00:57:57Kaylee, be a good girl, okay?
00:57:59Jared has the backing of some very powerful people now.
00:58:02Don't get on his bad side.
00:58:04We can't afford to piss him off.
00:58:06So do as he says.
00:58:08But Dad...
00:58:09I'm sorry.
00:58:16I'm sorry.
00:58:18I'll be your side piece.
00:58:20Very good.
00:58:22I'm happy you've come around.
00:58:24Now let's go celebrate.
00:58:27I mean, do I really want to be with Mr. Minty Mouth forever, though?
00:58:32But that tongue action, though.
00:58:34Tongue is important.
00:58:36In more than just one spot.
00:58:37We aren't in public.
00:58:39It's true.
00:58:41Stomachache.
00:58:43Again?
00:58:44I have to run to the bathroom.
00:58:45Devin should be here to pick you up soon.
00:58:47Okay.
00:58:49Devin's late.
00:58:51Not a good sign for a date.
00:58:54This hotel restaurant has five Michelin stars.
00:58:59It's her.
00:59:01And she's alone. With no one to save her.
00:59:02You whore.
00:59:04You seduced my son so he'd get back with you.
00:59:10Let me tell you.
00:59:12I would never go back even if your entire family got down on their knees and begged me.
00:59:19Hey, you guys can fight all you want.
00:59:21But you need to take this somewhere else.
00:59:23Whoever gets rid of her for me gets all this.
00:59:26What? Why do I have to leave?
00:59:28She's the one starting shit.
00:59:29Because I have money and you don't.
00:59:31You're just a stinky hippie peddler.
00:59:33And my son just signed a 100 billion dollar contract.
00:59:37He still got the contract?
00:59:39Hmm.
00:59:41Must be Ellen's doing.
00:59:43Even if he does sign it,
00:59:45he doesn't have the liquidity to pay the deposit up front.
00:59:47Oh, he's just gonna...
00:59:49Bet you've never seen this much cash before.
00:59:53Bet you've never seen this much cash before.
00:59:56You take my charity
00:59:58and toss it in my face
01:00:00as if it's your own.
01:00:02My maid wouldn't even pick up such a pitiful amount.
01:00:051,000 dollars to take her away.
01:00:082,000 dollars to drag her away.
01:00:115,000 dollars to beat her away.
01:00:17Oh, oh, hey!
01:00:19Hey!
01:00:20Ow!
01:00:22Hey!
01:00:23You okay?
01:00:24Are you hurt?
01:00:29Weakling.
01:00:30You!
01:00:31You!
01:00:32Just a few days ago
01:00:33you found yourself a boy toy
01:00:34right after getting divorced.
01:00:36And now you have two more?
01:00:38What a whore.
01:00:40What a whore.
01:00:41Yeah.
01:00:42And Jared wanted to get back with her?
01:00:45What if she has an STD?
01:00:47Oh, like sleeping with a married man
01:00:48wouldn't give you an STD.
01:00:50Let's go.
01:00:51We'll expose her to Jared.
01:00:53Hang on.
01:00:55What do you want?
01:00:56I'll scream.
01:00:58I don't hit women.
01:00:59But I never said I don't kill women.
01:01:03But I never said I don't kill women.
01:01:06Oh, God.
01:01:07He is a murderer.
01:01:08What if he murders me?
01:01:10Not him.
01:01:11Definitely not him.
01:01:12We're not afraid of you.
01:01:14That's enough.
01:01:15This isn't a war zone.
01:01:16You'll be removed from being a five-star general
01:01:18if you hurt a civilian without adequate cause.
01:01:21I was just messing with him.
01:01:23Was he, though?
01:01:24We're not afraid of you.
01:01:26Jared!
01:01:27You have to avenge us.
01:01:28Look at this slut.
01:01:29She's found two more boy toys.
01:01:31She's cheating on you.
01:01:32Don't give up.
01:01:33I'm not giving up.
01:01:34I'm not giving up.
01:01:35I'm not giving up.
01:01:36I'm not giving up.
01:01:37I'm not giving up.
01:01:38I'm not giving up.
01:01:39I'm not giving up.
01:01:40I'm not giving up.
01:01:41She's cheating on you.
01:01:42Don't get back with her.
01:01:43Oh, Mr. Cooper.
01:01:44It's you.
01:01:45I apologize for this scene.
01:01:46I'll toss out the potty crashes immediately
01:01:48so that you can go to your salvation banquet.
01:01:51What did you say?
01:01:52You were going to toss out?
01:01:53What did you say?
01:01:54You were going to toss out?
01:01:55The potty crashes.
01:01:59You have any idea who that is?
01:02:01That's my wife.
01:02:03You saved that title for the real skank over there.
01:02:06That's right.
01:02:07Know your place.
01:02:08Shut up.
01:02:09She's cheating on you.
01:02:11I know your place.
01:02:13You're just a side piece,
01:02:14if I still want you, that is.
01:02:16Eric, have you gone mad?
01:02:18This is Eric Vanderbilt's only daughter.
01:02:20You slap her for this whore?
01:02:22Mom!
01:02:23They really think they're something, huh?
01:02:26Angela's an heiress to a family
01:02:27whose wealth and status
01:02:28goes back to the Victorian age.
01:02:30She's richer even than Ellen Musk.
01:02:33I only got the Maple Closet project
01:02:35because she gave it to me.
01:02:37What?
01:02:38You apologize right now
01:02:40or I will kick you and your father
01:02:42to the curb.
01:02:48I'm sorry.
01:02:50No.
01:02:52This can't be.
01:02:54I made you a divorce.
01:02:58Go home.
01:03:00You're not suited to come with me
01:03:01to my celebration banquet.
01:03:08I apologize on behalf of my mother.
01:03:12Honey, I know you came here
01:03:13to celebrate my achievements.
01:03:15I promise no one will bother you anymore.
01:03:18I didn't come here for you.
01:03:21I'm on a date.
01:03:23A date with two men at the same time?
01:03:27She really is a whore.
01:03:28Angela, please forgive me.
01:03:30I really do love you.
01:03:34Oh ho!
01:03:35Lady Lockhart is here!
01:03:38Oh ho!
01:03:39Lady Lockhart is here!
01:03:42Yeah, yeah, we already know
01:03:44you beat Ford's ass up.
01:03:46We're too old for that.
01:03:48They're here for my celebration banquet.
01:03:50Please, you gave me the contract
01:03:52so if anyone should go
01:03:54as my guest of honor, it should be you.
01:03:56Oh yes, please, Miss Lockhart, join us.
01:03:58We'll all be one happy business family again.
01:04:02What the hell are you all doing here?
01:04:04Where were you?
01:04:06Still making shoes.
01:04:08Again?
01:04:09Would you like my diagnosis?
01:04:11No.
01:04:13Let me make myself clear, okay?
01:04:16I would rather die
01:04:18than be with you again.
01:04:20Seems that they're not actually
01:04:22on good terms.
01:04:24I can't lose face in front of these pricks.
01:04:26Otherwise they'll cut me off too.
01:04:28Angela, I know you're still mad,
01:04:30but please give me a chance.
01:04:31I'll prove it to you.
01:04:32You want a chance?
01:04:34Angela, no.
01:04:35You have three great guys here
01:04:37who all want to marry you.
01:04:38Don't take him back.
01:04:40I'll give you two choices.
01:04:44I'll give you two choices.
01:04:48Me
01:04:49or the contract.
01:04:51You're kidding me.
01:04:53No, I'm not kidding you.
01:04:55If you choose me,
01:04:57we can remarry this week.
01:04:59But you don't get the
01:05:01hundred billion dollar contract.
01:05:04The choice is all yours.
01:05:06That's a tough choice.
01:05:08You think so?
01:05:09He either marries a royal heiress
01:05:11or gets a contract that takes his company to the moon.
01:05:13Either way, he benefits.
01:05:15Why can't I have both?
01:05:17You really are a greedy bastard.
01:05:19Angela, I saved you in the pool, remember?
01:05:22I deserve the contract.
01:05:24Did you really?
01:05:30Look who's fashionably late now.
01:05:32He didn't save her at the pool.
01:05:34Wait, what are you talking about?
01:05:36I, uh,
01:05:38I choose the contract.
01:05:40I knew it.
01:05:42You'll get what's coming to you.
01:05:44With this contract,
01:05:46my company's earning potential is limitless.
01:05:48Angela Lockhart,
01:05:50you humiliated me in front of everyone.
01:05:52I will get you one day.
01:05:54Let me show you something.
01:06:02You saved me.
01:06:08You saved me.
01:06:10I'm sorry
01:06:12if his lies led to you wasting
01:06:14three years of your life.
01:06:16But I promise you,
01:06:18I'm gonna make it up to you
01:06:20with the rest of our lives.
01:06:22No, no, I wasn't lying.
01:06:24I just couldn't,
01:06:26can't remember exactly what happened that day.
01:06:28I'm sorry.
01:06:30Can't remember exactly what happened that day.
01:06:40Does that mean we both each saved her once?
01:06:42What?
01:06:44Me?
01:06:46Dr. Wilson losing at saving people?
01:06:48No way.
01:06:50You guys, one of you,
01:06:52do something life-threatening right now.
01:06:54You're crazy.
01:06:56And actually,
01:06:58I've been doing horrible shit behind your back.
01:07:00What?
01:07:04Mr. Sterling had me investigate their company's dealings.
01:07:06Turns out they've been fudging the numbers
01:07:08on your shared accounts and contracts.
01:07:10Put it simply,
01:07:12they've been stealing from you.
01:07:14I can't believe I didn't realize.
01:07:16Ms. Lockhart, I'm so sorry.
01:07:18I should have had third-party accountants
01:07:20check thoroughly.
01:07:22No, it's not your fault.
01:07:24They're just too slick.
01:07:26Oh God, no. Not that again.
01:07:28Please.
01:07:30Max, you know what to do.
01:07:44The banks have pulled
01:07:46all of our funds.
01:07:48All business ties have been severed.
01:07:50We're bankrupt!
01:07:56How did you do that?
01:07:58Who are you?
01:08:00And don't say Spider-Man!
01:08:02I'll tell you who I am.
01:08:06I'll tell you who I am.
01:08:10I am
01:08:12Crypto Punk Number Two.
01:08:14What did he say he was?
01:08:16That's more bizarre than Spider-Man.
01:08:18You're Crypto Punk Number Two?
01:08:20Well,
01:08:22I'm Crypto Punk Number One.
01:08:24You are Number One at something.
01:08:26The most expensive NFT collection in the world.
01:08:28Forget Forbes' list.
01:08:30It's all about young money now.
01:08:32So,
01:08:34how about our date?
01:08:40I'm not letting anyone up me on this one.
01:08:42I'll spy too.
01:08:54They forgot
01:08:56to cancel my contract.
01:08:58I still have the
01:09:00100 billion dollar project.
01:09:02Yes!
01:09:04I'm rich!
01:09:06I can make them all pay soon!
01:09:13What?
01:09:15Mr. Cooper, sir.
01:09:17The Maple Plaza contract requires us
01:09:19to provide 50% of the costs upfront.
01:09:21Otherwise, it's a breach of contract
01:09:23and we'll have to pay for all financial repercussions.
01:09:25No!
01:09:27I'm bankrupt!
01:09:29I need a little off guard.
01:09:31You tricked me!
01:09:39Allow me.
01:09:43I'm sorry I was late, my queen.
01:09:45I had to get some very important materials
01:09:49for our special date.
01:09:51Well, cheers.
01:09:53Cheers.
01:10:02This looks good.
01:10:08Did you use my spices?
01:10:10I know your ex-in-laws never
01:10:12appreciated you.
01:10:16You can have all the money and power in the world
01:10:18and you still can't force a man to love you.
01:10:21I couldn't even remember our anniversary.
01:10:28Angela,
01:10:30your future
01:10:32with me
01:10:34is going to be different.
01:10:36Come on.
01:10:38Upstairs.
01:10:51Wow.
01:10:53Devon,
01:10:55I can't believe
01:10:57this is what I've been missing out on
01:10:59these past few years
01:11:01just because of some silly mistake.
01:11:03Angela,
01:11:05I've known and loved you
01:11:07for three whole years.
01:11:09Actually,
01:11:11I've also loved you for three years.
01:11:13That's right.
01:11:15I fell in love with you three years ago, too.
01:11:17How is that possible?
01:11:20I didn't meet any of you
01:11:22until recently.
01:11:24Well, actually,
01:11:26maybe Devon, but...
01:11:28I've had a crush on you
01:11:30since college.
01:11:32You were my motivation to go to business school.
01:11:36Despite who you were,
01:11:38you never judged me for being poor.
01:11:42Are you trying to get hired
01:11:44at Fortune 500
01:11:46in a suit like this?
01:11:48Fortune 500 in a suit like that?
01:11:52All you do is babble
01:11:54on and on about
01:11:56internet money, Bitcoin,
01:11:58and shit like that.
01:12:00Are you trying to
01:12:02steal my spot?
01:12:04I'll teach you a lesson.
01:12:08Hey! Get away from him!
01:12:125C girl. I like her.
01:12:18How is he?
01:12:20It's a rare poison
01:12:22made from a mixture of dried roots
01:12:24found in Africa.
01:12:26Can it be cured?
01:12:28I actually think I know that poison.
01:12:30It sounds really scary,
01:12:32but its cure can actually be found
01:12:34in any developed country.
01:12:36Household salt.
01:12:48I like her.
01:12:50There you go.
01:12:56Oh, shoot. I'm late for swim practice.
01:13:05I like her.
01:13:07We have been rivals ever since.
01:13:09So, that's how
01:13:11I... well,
01:13:13we all met.
01:13:15I barely remember.
01:13:17I never let you go to swim practice that day.
01:13:19Matthew Richards,
01:13:21the guy who poisoned me,
01:13:23attacked you out of revenge.
01:13:25You wouldn't have known.
01:13:27I did hear he dropped out and became a loan shark, though.
01:13:29That makes you feel any better.
01:13:31Yeah, I think that suits him a little better.
01:13:33Angela, your seven days is almost up.
01:13:35Now that you know they all loved
01:13:37and fought for you for three years,
01:13:39who will you pick?
01:13:41How can that be?
01:13:43Angela Lockhart
01:13:45is an heiress?
01:13:51Kaylee,
01:13:53we've gone bankrupt.
01:13:55Bankrupt?
01:13:57The Vanderbilts have gone bankrupt?
01:13:59Well, then,
01:14:01get out of here!
01:14:03You can't do this to me!
01:14:07Jared!
01:14:09Jared!
01:14:11Mom, it's me.
01:14:13What happened?
01:14:15Jared, I have carefully reconsidered.
01:14:17Angela is way better than this dimwit.
01:14:19You should get back with your wife!
01:14:21We're bankrupt.
01:14:23What?
01:14:27Jared Cooper,
01:14:29we are here
01:14:31to propose to your
01:14:33belongings.
01:14:35No one is going to save you now.
01:14:37What?
01:14:41What kind of an asshole
01:14:43throws his own mother to the dogs?
01:14:47Who will you pick?
01:14:51I...
01:14:57I brought you fried chicken.
01:14:59Hey, not all girls like sushi and caviar.
01:15:01Yeah, he's right.
01:15:03I did live in Atlanta for three months.
01:15:05I'm sucking up last minute.
01:15:07At least I don't speak like an AI robot.
01:15:09Hey, stop.
01:15:11Stop.
01:15:13Welcome back to The Bachelorette.
01:15:15I mean,
01:15:17the three badasses who want me.
01:15:19I mean, Angela Lockhart,
01:15:21you know what I mean.
01:15:23Today,
01:15:25our heiress bachelorette will choose
01:15:27which one of our three badasses
01:15:29will she marry.
01:15:31Will it be Shane,
01:15:33Cole,
01:15:35the general,
01:15:37or Devin,
01:15:39the CEO?
01:15:43Uh, looks like our
01:15:45bachelorette may need a little more time to decide.
01:15:47Oh, the suspense
01:15:49is killing me.
01:15:51But when she does,
01:15:53she will take this eternal rose,
01:15:55made from glass, imported from Venice,
01:15:57and give it to our winner.
01:15:59Angela.
01:16:01Angela.
01:16:03Oh,
01:16:05I, uh,
01:16:07I need more time to think.
01:16:13Uh, while our bachelorette
01:16:15takes a little time to decide,
01:16:17why don't we check in with each of our candidates?
01:16:19Let's check in with each
01:16:21of our candidates.
01:16:23Let's start with Cole.
01:16:25Cole.
01:16:28There's
01:16:30not much to say.
01:16:32Who wouldn't want a five-star general
01:16:34who has huge biceps,
01:16:36a massive chest,
01:16:38who would protect
01:16:40their wife?
01:16:42Okay.
01:16:44Thank you. Uh, Shane?
01:16:48Muscles, money,
01:16:50they won't get you so far.
01:16:52But you need a well-balanced man
01:16:54like me that has more than one way
01:16:56to keep a lady happy,
01:16:58if you know what I mean.
01:17:00Okay.
01:17:02I think we do.
01:17:04And Devin.
01:17:06That was quite disgusting.
01:17:10I just hope Angela's okay.
01:17:12I know she's going under
01:17:14a lot of stress right now,
01:17:16a lot of choices to make.
01:17:18And she's my queen.
01:17:20I just really hope she's okay.
01:17:22Now one more thing.
01:17:24What if a doctor
01:17:26brings fried chicken to a girl?
01:17:28That's a good point.
01:17:30Fat for her heart.
01:17:32And then you!
01:17:34Well, you know what they say
01:17:36about military men.
01:17:38They beef their wives.
01:17:44Enough!
01:17:46Stand up!
01:17:48Hey, you guys.
01:17:50Whoa, break it up!
01:17:52Hey!
01:17:54Break it up!
01:17:58Cut to commercial!
01:18:00Cut to commercial!
01:18:19This is the hardest decision I've ever had
01:18:21to make in my entire life.
01:18:23Who do I choose?
01:18:33Angela's marrying me!
01:18:35You're not stealing her from me.
01:18:37Oh yeah?
01:18:39I may be a doctor,
01:18:41but like I said,
01:18:43I know and possess
01:18:45the deadliest poisons in the world.
01:18:47What don't you have in that coat?
01:18:49I won't let you take Angela away from me.
01:18:51I'll fight you to the death.
01:18:53Don't forget about me.
01:18:55It's time I reveal my true
01:18:57identity.
01:19:01These stupid profile cards
01:19:03don't make any sense. They do not help.
01:19:05Who made these?
01:19:19Oh!
01:19:25It's time I reveal my true
01:19:27identity.
01:19:29I'm actually a part
01:19:31of the X-Men.
01:19:33And I have the power
01:19:35of telekinesis!
01:19:49We may have to work together
01:19:51to take him down.
01:20:03This battle within our heads
01:20:05is the most intense I've ever experienced.
01:20:07I may not be able to take them both down
01:20:09if they decide to team up.
01:20:11Hmm.
01:20:13Winterment or Coolment?
01:20:19You know,
01:20:21I've always really liked your hair.
01:20:23Really?
01:20:25I'm actually pretty self-conscious
01:20:27about it. So I
01:20:29appreciate that.
01:20:31Hey, hey, hey. And you know,
01:20:33I've always really
01:20:35liked the way you talk.
01:20:37Really? Yeah.
01:20:41What do you got for me?
01:20:43I always
01:20:45really like the way you chew gum.
01:20:47It's fresh, right?
01:20:51You know, you're actually
01:20:53a really good doctor.
01:20:55You need me to look at you?
01:20:57I got you.
01:20:59Angela's been kidnapped!
01:21:01Angela's been kidnapped!
01:21:03It was Jared Cooper!
01:21:05That fucker!
01:21:07We have to find her. What, how?
01:21:09Her ring. Her dad installed
01:21:11a GPS tracking mechanism on her ring
01:21:13just in case. Well, let's go then!
01:21:15Oh! My fiancé!
01:21:17My fiancé!
01:21:23Jared.
01:21:27What am I doing here?
01:21:29You destroyed me.
01:21:33I took everything.
01:21:35What?
01:21:37I have nothing left.
01:21:39It's not my fault you're too greedy.
01:21:42Greedy?
01:21:44Is it greedy to have sex with my wife?
01:21:46What?
01:21:48I'm not your wife anymore!
01:21:50Oh yeah, I know. You wouldn't take me back now
01:21:52not unless I get you pregnant with my child.
01:21:54This is illegal! You wouldn't want
01:21:56your child to be away from its father.
01:21:58You won't have me arrested.
01:22:00You will take me back.
01:22:02Ow!
01:22:04Come on, bitch.
01:22:06I'll settle you down a little.
01:22:08Come on.
01:22:12Shh.
01:22:18You will be begging me to fuck you soon.
01:22:22Hey!
01:22:24Angela! Come here!
01:22:28You're too late!
01:22:30I drugged her. She'll be dead soon
01:22:32unless... Yet? Have you forgotten
01:22:34who I am?
01:22:36He really does have everything in his coat.
01:22:38Everything except for fruit. Yeah, except for fruit-flavored gum.
01:22:40Get it already! Just save my boss!
01:22:50You're all good now.
01:22:52Oh, thank God.
01:22:54But what do we do with that piece of shit?
01:22:56What? What are you going to do to me?
01:22:58Hey, stop! No! Don't!
01:23:02Enjoy your erectile dysfunction forever.
01:23:04Oh, no!
01:23:08Glad we didn't actually have that fight.
01:23:10Turns out he's the most dangerous
01:23:12of them all.
01:23:18So who did you pick, sweetheart?
01:23:20We've invited the most important figures
01:23:22of the world to your wedding.
01:23:24The Prince of Bhutan.
01:23:26And remember, we will kill ourselves
01:23:28if you don't choose.
01:23:34Welcome back
01:23:36to the finale of
01:23:38The Three Badasses Who Want Me.
01:23:40We're down to the wire. Literally.
01:23:42The wedding day.
01:23:44But who's the groom?
01:23:58Welcome back to the finale of
01:24:00The Three Badasses Who Want Me.
01:24:02But who's the groom?
01:24:06Seems our heiress
01:24:08still hasn't decided.
01:24:10Any input from the parents?
01:24:12Maybe that will help sway
01:24:14our bachelorette's choice.
01:24:16This is exciting.
01:24:18Who should my daughter pick?
01:24:20Let me think.
01:24:24I like the doctor.
01:24:26He's cute.
01:24:28But
01:24:30the general looks like a strong
01:24:32fellow.
01:24:34And we can't forget about Devon Sterling,
01:24:36the one who's loved her the longest.
01:24:38Isn't that right, Devon?
01:24:40Angela.
01:24:46You are all three
01:24:48very fine
01:24:50gentlemen.
01:24:52And I'm really grateful
01:24:54for all of your love.
01:24:56But this was a really hard
01:24:58decision and
01:25:00I decided to devise
01:25:02one last challenge.
01:25:04And
01:25:06I decided to devise
01:25:08one last challenge.
01:25:12I'm just kidding.
01:25:14I'm just as sick of this as you guys are.
01:25:20Each of our candidates have saved
01:25:22our main character.
01:25:24They've all seen Bachelorette once.
01:25:26They've all proven their undying love.
01:25:28So who gets to unlock
01:25:30Angela Lockhart's heart?
01:25:32Literally.
01:25:34Could it be
01:25:36the sexy and protective
01:25:38general with a temper,
01:25:40Mr. Cole Eisenhower?
01:25:46Or the fun,
01:25:48wicked-minded, but
01:25:50kind of weird,
01:25:52Devon Wilson?
01:25:56And last but not least,
01:25:58could it be the richest man of them all,
01:26:00the man Angela would have married
01:26:02a long time ago, Mr. Devon Sterling?
01:26:08Gentlemen,
01:26:10it's been a pleasure getting to know you.
01:26:12May the best man win.
01:26:14May the best man win.
01:26:18Drum roll, please.
01:26:22Let me make you understand
01:26:24Never gonna give you up
01:26:26Never gonna let you down
01:26:28Never gonna run around
01:26:30and desert you
01:26:32Seriously, Ricky?
01:26:40I choose...
01:26:52I need a powerful, strong man
01:26:54who I really feel like he can protect me.
01:26:58Who could resist those guns?
01:27:02Could I interest you in an N.F.D., Ellen?
01:27:04Would you like a full-body checkup?
01:27:07What the fuck?
01:27:21Shane, it's you.
01:27:23I'm lovesick for you.
01:27:25You like that minty flavor, don't you?
01:27:29It's that tongue action, ladies and gents.
01:27:31Ellen, be my new queen.
01:27:33I hope we can go together.
01:27:35Thanks, babe.
01:27:48It's always been you.
01:27:58I'll always love you.
01:28:02Let's give it up for those nine inches, everybody.
01:28:05Ellen, would you like a full-body checkup?
01:28:07Have you seen my murdering weapons?
01:28:09I need fruit-flavored gum for you.
01:28:35I, Selene Lovett,
01:28:37accept my role as
01:28:39Nightwind's pack Luna
01:28:41and your wife.
01:28:43I,
01:28:45Alexander Kane,
01:28:47fucking love you.
01:28:51Yes!
01:28:53Yes!
01:28:55Yes!
01:28:57Yes!
01:28:59Yes!
01:29:01Yes!
01:29:03Yes!
01:29:13Wow. Two alphas together.