"The Legend of Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom" waves its family-friendly flag proudly, boasting an epic adventure for all ages. Although, upon closer inspection by gamers of a certain age, all is not innocent in the kingdom of Hyrule.
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00:00The Legend of Zelda Tears of the Kingdom waves its family-friendly flag proudly, boasting
00:05an epic adventure for all ages. Although, upon closer inspection by gamers of a certain
00:10age, all is not innocent in the kingdom of Hyrule. Caution, Tears of the Kingdom spoilers
00:16ahead.
00:20After sitting out Breath of the Wild and several other titles, Ganondorf returned to the Zelda
00:24franchise in Tears of the Kingdom. As many fans were quick to notice before the game
00:29even released, the Demon King gets a different look this time around. He traded in his more
00:33restrained armored attire for lots of bare skin, strategically placed tattoos, and gold
00:39accessories. He also clearly hit the gym during his absence, with chiseled muscles on display
00:44everywhere players look.
00:46When Zelda and Link first encounter Ganondorf during the sequel's opening act, he appears
00:50as little more than a well-accessorized hunk of jerky. Of course, he doesn't stay in this
00:55guise and later faces Link in his proper, rehydrated form. This turn of events puts
01:00off some real The Mummy vibes.
01:02The first two films in the reboot series feature the cursed Egyptian priest, Imhotep, returning
01:07from the dead to take over the world using dark magic. When he first revives, he doesn't
01:12look so great, but by the end of the film he fully regenerates into a complete hottie,
01:17sporting flowing robes with his bare chest on display.
01:20Imhotep was a confusing crush for The Mummy viewers in the late 90s and early 2000s. Now
01:25Ganondorf has turned up to make players question their views on the undead all over again.
01:31Modern businesses go to great lengths to collect customer information and make more sales.
01:35These tactics take many forms, ranging from opting into text messages or emails in exchange
01:40for coupon codes to loyalty programs that allow buyers to earn points and redeem rewards
01:44whenever they shop. Simply enter some information and watch your inbox fill up with promotions
01:49and your wallet overflow with rewards cards for every store you've ever visited.
01:53It seems players can't get away from this seemingly inevitable reality even in Zelda
01:58games. As soon as Link registers with the Network of Stables, your local owner opts
02:02him into the Pony Points program. While he earns free points by simply visiting the different
02:06stable locations, he has to register horses or shell out money for beds to continue moving
02:11up the tiers and unlock more rewards. The Pony Points setup is nice for those who already
02:15plan to go horse hunting or take advantage of the lodging. However, it's also one of
02:20a few jarring ways that the real world bleeds into the setting. Nothing helps you forget
02:24your everyday troubles quite like carting around a rewards card or stopping to take
02:28a bunch of photos with your tablet while exploring ancient ruins. Now, if only Nintendo would
02:33add Hyrule's take on Instagram.
02:36When the developers at Nintendo set out to create a follow-up to Breath of the Wild,
02:40they clearly had a core objective in mind — make players as thirsty as possible. Ganondorf
02:45may be the entree, but the studio has served up plenty of appetizers.
02:49"...one step at a time. What exactly happened?"
02:56Zelda has a new haircut and gown, complemented by tasteful but eye-catching accessories.
03:01Link continues to flirt with androgyny, and the team made sure to reduce him to just his
03:05undies again for the start of the game. Sidon, already a complete catch, features once more,
03:11and is as elegant and supportive as ever.
03:13Then there are the research characters. Pora, who accidentally de-aged herself into a child
03:18in Breath of the Wild, got a major glow-up for Tears of the Kingdom. Rather than a kid,
03:23she appears as a young adult for the sequel, complete with fitted clothing and high heels
03:27— which, you know, doesn't inspire any weird feelings at all.
03:31The entry also introduces Toro, a reptilian researcher who just loves fieldwork. Presumably,
03:37he pumps iron while translating Zonai. No wonder so many people have developed a sudden
03:41interest in the ancient language.
03:44When players finally follow up on the wealth of hints from multiple NPCs and head to Rito
03:48Village, they find the settlement in dire straits. A supernatural blizzard has rendered
03:53the area nigh-unreachable and inhospitable, cutting it off from its usual supply chains
03:58and leading to a food shortage. Link strolls in to learn more about the situation, only
04:03to discover that nearly all of the adult Rito have flown the nest, leaving their young children
04:07to manage the settlement and its businesses.
04:10The tiny Rito run everything from the store to the inn without any form of supervision.
04:15Tebar and his wife seem to be the only fully-grown Rito left, and they stand together on one
04:20of the higher platforms, presumably basking in the glow of all of that free child labor.
04:24Meanwhile, the fledgling scurry around in the lower levels, trying to figure out how
04:29to keep the village running while the other adults scavenge for food or search for clues
04:33regarding the origin of the blizzard.
04:35This situation feels like walking into a mall and finding a bunch of eight-year-olds
04:39manning every store, not a security guard or manager in sight. While their parents later
04:44commend them for their contributions, it's quite heart-wrenching to see the fledglings
04:48carry such a heavy burden without protection, comfort, or guidance.
04:54As Link moves between the central locations in Hyrule, he collects battle companions from
04:58the major tribes. This process involves each combat partner learning a foundational lesson
05:03before they can assist the protagonists in solving the region's big problem. For fan
05:07favorite Prince Sidon, Nintendo decided to drive home a concept that seems simple enough
05:11on the surface — don't let fear stop you from living your life.
05:15Unfortunately, the way the developer decided to handle this issue raises some red flags.
05:20As part of his quest, Sidon's newly-introduced fiancée confronts him after he's spent a significant
05:25amount of time holed up in one area of Zora's Domain, working to fight off the sludge that
05:29has contaminated the local water supply.
05:32While her words seem to come from a place of concern, she tells him that he's letting
05:36the fear of losing someone important to him stop him from going with Link to investigate
05:40the cause of the sludge. Rather than acknowledging the validity of his experience or the toll
05:45of everything the Prince has been through — like losing his sister and almost losing
05:49his father — she insists that the Sidon she knows wouldn't behave that way. In response,
05:53he plasters on a smile and agrees to go with Link.
05:56This scene echoes a common situation that many people experiencing mental distress encounter.
06:01Faced with a change in their demeanor, those close to them may insist that they aren't
06:04acting like themselves, and suggest that they simply decide to be happy instead. These moments,
06:10much like the scene with Sidon, falsely suggest that only some of their feelings are valid,
06:14or that people can simply decide to stop feeling a certain way. In the Zora Royale's case,
06:18the game seems to hint that he only has value when he's chipper and supportive of those
06:22around him. But the moments he needs support, he's basically told to get over it and go
06:27back to acting normal because it's more convenient for everyone else.
06:31While players of all ages can appreciate the opportunity to express their love for a virtual
06:35good boy, dog petting — or the like thereof — has become a hilarious point of contention
06:40for more seasoned gamers in recent years. A Twitter account with over 500,000 followers
06:45exists solely to document whether players can properly interact with animals in-game,
06:50and the question makes a round on major news sites every time a new title releases.
07:01Unfortunately for Zelda fans, Tears of the Kingdom does not allow players to pet the
07:05dogs they encounter around Hyrule. Like in Breath of the Wild, feeding the dogs can earn
07:09Link their canine affection. Properly appreciative pups may even lead the Swordsman to hidden
07:14treasure. However, this doesn't make up for the fact that he can't interact with them,
07:18and especially heartbreaking realization when the dogs in question roll onto their backs
07:22and present their bellies for rubs. Sorry, pooches, Nintendo just didn't see adding this
07:27feature as a priority.
07:29Link meets a lot of people on his travels, and that's even if you ignore the series canon,
07:34which states that there have been many versions of Link over the millennia. It would make
07:38sense for the hero to forget a few of the faces he's encountered while facing down the
07:41forces of evil, but it makes a bit less sense for the people he's saved to forget him. Still,
07:46that seems to be what's happened for many of the NPCs Link encounters in Tears of the
07:50Kingdom. Despite the fact that players spent a lot of time helping out the Koroks in the
07:54previous game, most of the little guys here don't seem to have any knowledge of Link.
07:59You'd think he'd be a legend among Koroks, but even stranger is the fact that many of
08:03the citizens of Tarrey Town don't appear to recognize him. A bit of time has passed since
08:08the events of Breath of the Wild, during which Link essentially bought the land and founded
08:12the town. There's a whole questline devoted to the creation of this village, but Link
08:17is essentially a stranger there now.