m ep 13
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00:00How good it is that you came home, it was nice for a moment to be alone in a Tel Aviv apartment, like Ravak, as if you could.
00:11I'll tell you what, I went to Zion and a half, about 80% of the time I was looking for a pub.
00:22Most of the time I was there.
00:26I know you don't like me driving.
00:28No, I don't like you.
00:31The truth is that at some point I had to leave.
00:33The understanding that if we don't break up, it's like losing everything.
00:38But in the end, I love you.
00:41You better. Really.
00:45You're amazing.
00:49I'm the one I cared most about the night of marriage.
00:53Of course, my whole family by the way.
00:56I've been working with Yudit for a while now to turn our podcast into a night on the stage about marriage.
01:02You know that today there is a cockroach, like dogs, that you can put in the owner's closet and see where it is exactly.
01:13This is a great conversation.
01:15We found a sort of a bi-matic evening that combines Yudit's neo-style with a lot of my humor.
01:22At the end of the day, it's our conversation.
01:25And we're just arranging the conversation to be as funny as possible.
01:31We're creating a closet.
01:33Yes.
01:34It's something else that I've never done before.
01:37But it changed my life so much, the neo-style.
01:42And I said to myself, what happens to us in the podcast,
01:45which reaches so many people and helps so many people,
01:49why wouldn't it be on the stage?
01:56Today, I have an interesting day because I'm going to fly kites.
02:04I'm playing in a small scene in a feature called Zebrot.
02:09In the scene, what happens is that I'm kind of a clown.
02:15I'm a big clown.
02:16But I'm flying kites and it's cool for me to come to a scene, to a movie,
02:21and be in a mess with someone and fly kites,
02:26and do things that require courage from me, because I like to feel that way.
02:32But, I don't know, it's... it's an issue.
02:46It's been more than two years since I've been in a relationship with a man.
02:51So it's an issue.
02:55Wait a minute.
02:56Yes.
02:57Do you see what's happening?
02:58It's some kind of blood flow.
03:00It's quite similar to the kites that grab hard.
03:05So let's work on it.
03:06Let's buy it at the same speed, but in terms of power,
03:10less power, to protect yourself from the kites,
03:14so you don't get injured or something that will hurt you.
03:21I'm really excited about this challenge.
03:24I hope Rachel will be fine with it.
03:34I've never done anything like this in my life.
03:39Not just in the game, but in real life as well.
03:43Fucking, I don't know, it's like sitting on a chair,
03:46and I'm surrounded by some kind of...
03:48What do you mean you don't know?
03:49What do you mean I don't know?
03:50It's far from the smell of fire.
03:52I don't really feel comfortable.
03:54I'm sure I know myself.
03:57And that's also the issue, that I'm trying to protect myself from it.
04:01It's a constant activity of mine,
04:04that I don't want you to remember,
04:06but it can also affect girls,
04:08because you'll feel threatened by it.
04:10So if it affects me, don't be afraid.
04:13You look crazy,
04:15you have a lot of wrinkles,
04:17it's always something that affects me in some way.
04:20It starts with you, girls,
04:22where we're going.
04:23I want to teach you, you look at me,
04:25you look at this all the time, I know,
04:27but in the end, it's not what drives me.
04:29My choices, my way of behaving,
04:32are not driven by the kites.
04:34Do you understand what I'm saying?
04:35It's not...
04:36So it's not driven?
04:37It's...
04:38The thing is,
04:40that okay, now I'm with you,
04:42and therefore everywhere,
04:43I say I'm lesbian, I'm bisexual,
04:44but at the root of things,
04:46I'm pansexual,
04:48it's such an amorphous place for me.
04:52But there's no difference in my eyes,
04:55between if it's, like,
04:59to love both men and women,
05:02or just women, or just men.
05:04There's no difference.
05:05Like, in the end,
05:06how much of this is strong,
05:08or not.
05:09It's the strongest.
05:17It's a fact that in a relationship,
05:19it's so hard for people to find the balance.
05:21I think that most people...
05:25They're not willing.
05:26They're not willing,
05:27they're not willing,
05:28they're not willing,
05:29they're not willing.
05:30She wasn't willing,
05:31and she really had it all.
05:37She wasn't willing at all.
05:38You tell yourself...
05:39It's very bad.
05:40There wasn't enough time for everything.
05:42All the time.
05:44The last few months,
05:45part of the treatment with my mother,
05:47she tells herself,
05:48and it's amazing,
05:49it really calms me down,
05:50it really fills me up.
05:52I'm very,
05:53I'm very willing.
05:55Very willing.
05:58Our life.
06:00I'm very willing.
06:04Very willing with you.
06:07Yes.
06:09Very willing with you.
06:11I'm also very willing with you.
06:15That's a good thing.
06:16We're both willing.
06:17We're both willing,
06:18that's good.
06:20I want to.
06:23I came to Judit,
06:24I was with her for about five years.
06:26I didn't know Elad.
06:27I didn't know about his existence.
06:29And then I met him by chance.
06:32And when he asked for my phone number,
06:34I remember I was very embarrassed.
06:35I said,
06:36but the treatment, the treatment.
06:38What about the treatment?
06:39I was obsessive,
06:40like, about the treatment.
06:41I said, no,
06:42I'm afraid.
06:44And Elad and I met,
06:46and he was like,
06:47world-famous.
06:49He thought I was some kind of
06:51rotten pig,
06:52a piece of hell.
06:54Another second,
06:55we met each other.
06:57And she helped us.
06:59She helped us.
07:01And...
07:02What does help us mean?
07:03She saved us.
07:05She saved us.
07:07Treatment at Judit.
07:09How much I love being in this room.
07:11It's so much fun.
07:12I...
07:13It immediately brings me back,
07:14Judit, when I'm in this room,
07:16it immediately brings me back to...
07:18The past?
07:19Yes, to the places where it all started.
07:21All the magic happened here.
07:25Judit, I'll tell you the truth.
07:27This night on stage
07:28is a bit of a shock to me.
07:30Because the moment you try
07:32to get to what you want,
07:34to what you want to achieve in life,
07:37and things start to work out,
07:39you act the opposite of others.
07:43You go into a crazy stress.
07:46It scares you.
07:48Now, your ability,
07:50I have no doubt,
07:51in your enormous talent,
07:52and in the ability
07:53that you don't know,
07:54unfortunately,
07:55basically,
07:56I, your foundation,
07:58like,
07:59don't think of myself as anything good.
08:02So it's up to others to think it.
08:04And what's amazing about this whole story
08:06is that even though you have
08:08all this GIF of yours
08:10in relation to yourself,
08:12people love you madly.
08:14I've never seen anything like it in my life.
08:18Actually, I haven't been on stage
08:20in 20 years.
08:2220-something years, even.
08:24When I was about 20, 21,
08:28I was in some theater show.
08:32And every time,
08:34before it had to start,
08:36I would faint.
08:38I had there the first time
08:40that happened to me,
08:42what happens to me, by the way,
08:44usually before filming,
08:46or some project.
08:48I faint.
08:50That's the thing.
08:52I just faint to the point
08:54where I can't get up.
08:55I can't move.
08:56I said, that's it,
08:57that's the end of the story.
08:58If I want to take care of my health,
09:00I won't.
09:01I won't.
09:02I don't know,
09:03I'm sure I won't be on stage.
09:05I couldn't.
09:06I couldn't.
09:08I hated myself for it.
09:11Come on, Yael,
09:12let's start filming.
09:13Are you done with the makeup?
09:14Yes.
09:15You're done?
09:16Yes, yes, yes.
09:17As Yudit always tells me,
09:19she told me to write,
09:20I love my weaknesses,
09:22and I love my strengths.
09:25I don't really love my weaknesses,
09:28but I'm trying to accept them,
09:30so to speak.
09:32And now,
09:33after 20 years,
09:34I can go on stage,
09:35I don't know.
09:37But I do know
09:38that it makes me excited
09:40to bring to as many people
09:42this treatment method
09:43that has become my life.
09:46There will be a lot of posters.
09:55Today I'm doing the sex scene,
09:58which I decided to bring to my life.
10:00And it's going to be scary,
10:02the feeling of death.
10:04So that I leave there
10:05with the feeling that
10:07I'm alive,
10:09I'm a hero.
10:11Mom, what?
10:12I'm not doing well with Rachel.
10:15Why?
10:17Lately,
10:19I'm very insecure.
10:21She's going through a phase
10:23where I don't want her,
10:24and I don't love her.
10:26I love her the most in the world,
10:28and I want to be with her all day.
10:35I'm just under pressure
10:36from this sex scene today.
10:38She connects with me
10:39to all kinds of unresolved places
10:41that I have with men.
10:43My first experience of having sex with a man
10:46was hard and traumatic.
10:50And I have a scene there
10:52that I want to get rid of.
10:57OK.
10:58OK, come on.
11:00Hello.
11:01How are you?
11:02How are you?
11:03How are you?
11:04How are you?
11:05How are you?
11:06How are you?
11:08Wow.
11:09She's coming to hug me.
11:10She's coming to hug you.
11:11She's coming to hug you.
11:13She's coming to hug you.
11:14Is she right?
11:15Yes.
11:16Tell me, Yael,
11:17do you have intimacy here?
11:18Yes, I know you.
11:21I don't know how to tell you how I feel.
11:24I feel good.
11:26I'm out.
11:28I just want to feel comfortable with myself.
11:32I think it's going to be OK.
11:35I just think it's going to take some time.
11:40I think I'll get used to it.
11:44OK.
11:45I also wanted to say something we haven't talked about.
11:48Yes.
11:49It's really important that it's a matter of longing.
11:51That it's something that can happen.
11:53Yes.
11:54That it's something logical and natural and reasonable.
11:56Even if it happens.
11:57Yes.
11:58But just to say it,
11:59and even if it happens,
12:00know that it's not something personal or emotional,
12:04even if it happens,
12:05it's really emotional.
12:06Yes.
12:07It's logical that it will happen.
12:08Yes.
12:09So just say it.
12:12OK.
12:13And something that you need,
12:15something that...
12:17I think it's just a matter of time to see that it happens.
12:21I have my eyes on you and on him,
12:23and I'll get used to it.
12:26OK.
12:27And feel comfortable.
12:28If you need to stop,
12:29it's legitimate.
12:32OK.
12:34Can I give you a hug?
12:37Thank you so much.
12:38You're welcome.
12:40Yes.
12:41And I really hope that it will be something that will lift you up
12:45and move you forward.
12:46It will be.
12:47To everything you want.
12:48Yes.
12:49Yes.
12:50So that's it.
12:51God bless you.
12:53Oh, shit.
12:54What is this?
12:55Fear?
12:59Oh, you know something?
13:00Yes.
13:01Hi.
13:02A moment before the show.
13:04How do you feel, Neder?
13:06Fiery.
13:08Oh.
13:09You don't understand how many people are talking to me about this.
13:12Tonight at what?
13:14Yeah.
13:15How many people?
13:16Five?
13:19300? 400?
13:20Wow.
13:21That's a lot.
13:23So you did rehearsals and all that?
13:25There's not much to do but rehearsals.
13:27You don't...
13:28Every time it changes, you know?
13:30You know, you can't write what you say here.
13:32Right.
13:33Write is...
13:34What is it?
13:35It's...
13:37It's a podcast.
13:38It's a conversation.
13:40You can't really prepare for it.
13:45Okay, I'm a little under pressure.
13:51It'll be fine.
13:52Get out of my comfort zone.
13:58What's up?
13:59All right.
14:00Can you do a second take?
14:09That's it, please.
14:10To limit the presence of anyone who doesn't want to be here.
14:13Get down.
14:14And...
14:15Ready?
14:16First take.
14:17Quiet around.
14:18Quiet down.
14:19Roll sound.
14:20Spin.
14:21Camera.
14:22And take three.
14:23And set and...
14:25Action.
14:30Cut.
14:36Don't do...
14:37I might end up in jail.
14:39All right.
14:43Oh.
14:44In the kitchen?
14:46Yeah.
14:59I'm...
15:00I have a high ability to look very cool when I'm outside.
15:06But inside, I'm the most scared and childish person there is.
15:13On the other hand, I'm crazy about adrenaline, and it makes me feel the most alive.
15:23Makeup.
15:25Makeup.
15:26Come on.
15:27Ah.
15:33Ugh.
15:39Ugh.
15:52Damn.
15:54Ugh.
16:04Ugh.
16:06Ugh.
16:07It's been like 10 minutes.
16:09The party's about to start.
16:10Let's make a toast.
16:12Cheers.
16:13Cheers.
16:14Cheers.
16:15Enjoy every moment.
16:32Good evening.
16:35It's funny when I come to talk about dating.
16:39Me and Elad had a heart attack
16:42about two weeks ago.
16:44We almost threw up, right?
16:45A heart attack.
16:46He took a pill.
16:48He ran away.
16:50I said to Yudit,
16:51Tell me.
16:53Who did I marry?
16:56I'm going to murder him.
16:59I'm going to murder him.
17:05And Yudit said to me,
17:07Listen to me, Yael.
17:09Think about good things.
17:14I said to her,
17:16Yes?
17:18How?
17:20What?
17:22What things?
17:23Good things.
17:24Tell him good things.
17:27Because what's the problem?
17:28I'm sending him shit.
17:31You're just sending him shit.
17:34You're not doing anything.
17:36I don't believe I kissed you.
17:38I don't believe it.
17:39What?
17:40What?
17:41I don't believe it.
17:42What?
17:43What?
17:44What?
17:45What?
17:46What?
17:47What?
17:48What?
17:49What?
17:50What?
17:51What?
17:52What?
17:53What?
17:54What?
17:56And it was hard.
17:58But I said, I'll do it.
18:00And I started sending him.
18:03You're crazy.
18:06A crazy baby.
18:08A crazy baby.
18:10A giant baby.
18:13And I swear to you,
18:15I started doing things,
18:17And he kept coming.
18:19And coming.
18:20What do you need, Mommy?
18:22Do you need anything, Mommy?
18:24So I would like to invite, please,
18:26My dear teacher, Judith Milon.
18:39What's up?
18:40Judith, we had a hunch
18:42That marriage will arrange our lives.
18:45The hunch that marriage will arrange our lives
18:48In fact, it caused us to be very good-natured,
18:51Very sensitive.
18:59Listen, all day,
19:01I know it sounds like a cliché now,
19:04And after we got married,
19:09But I think,
19:11Honestly,
19:12And it was always in my head,
19:14Even when we didn't talk,
19:16That you give me
19:19So much confidence,
19:22And the fact that you're by my side,
19:29It's one of the main things
19:32That gives me the confidence
19:36To do the things I do.
19:39And I know I'm not good at showing it,
19:43And that I love Decatur,
19:48But that you know,
19:50That I see it and feel it,
19:54And that it's just a very solid foundation
19:58In my life.
20:00I ask of you,
20:02In life, to love each other.
20:04We were wrong in our thoughts about marriage.
20:08That is, in fact, our thoughts
20:11About life.
20:13We think we know everything,
20:16And we speak, and we express,
20:19And we talk,
20:21Because...
20:22What happened?
20:23Are you crazy?
20:24The evening has just begun,
20:26Where are you going?
20:28The time has come for you to make a change in life,
20:32And change the way you think,
20:35In general.
20:37Thank you for listening,
20:39And I love you.
21:10It happens.
21:1112.30 at night,
21:12On Friday, people get old.
21:14The opening was perfect.
21:15Oh, they're leaving.
21:16They're leaving.
21:17They're leaving.
21:18Yael, Yael, listen.
21:20You have to understand.
21:21Look, first of all,
21:22I wasn't at fault at all.
21:23I lost it today.
21:25No, no.
21:26I was very upset with all the audience that came out.
21:29I saw the movie,
21:30Come on.
21:31They're all leaving.
21:33Like, come on.
21:34Maybe we need to get used to it.
21:37I'm disappointed in terror.
21:38Me too.
21:39In my life.
21:40I'm really not.
21:41I'm really upset.
21:42I'm telling you.
21:57Mamin,
21:58I have to tell you that your stand-up was amazing.
22:01It was amazing.
22:02You were amazing.
22:04Mamin.
22:07It was the worst thing I've ever done in my life.
22:11You've done worse things.
22:13No.
22:14I don't remember when I felt like it was so bad.
22:20You have a lot of potential.
22:22I hate the word potential so much.
22:25Potential calls me to failure.
22:28Let's say you have potential.
22:30You know?
22:31I have something about it.
22:33When you fail, you say you have potential.
22:37Potential.
22:39Your potential has already reached achievements in life.
22:43That particular evening,
22:45It was awful.
22:47And I didn't know if I wanted to continue with it.
22:57When you do things that scare you, you get bonuses.
23:03When I put myself in a situation that's not comfortable for me,
23:06I'm sure I'm going to get something out of it.
23:09Now I'm going to perform at Reading.
23:12It opened up the chakra for me to want to play everything.
23:15To make the second chair that I move between the piano and the double bass,
23:18the trance, the saxophone, the drums.
23:23I want to be at my best, but I have to work so hard for it.
23:27Enough. I'm fine.
23:29Let me go.
23:56I love you.