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GamingTranscript
00:00I see that as more of a mid-career move.
00:08Besides, you don't want to hear bebop without auto-tune.
00:13Says the rhino who never lets me shit in the mix chair.
00:20You broke the last two chairs!
00:24That a pink joke? Cause you ain't exactly a twig!
00:30Guys, you have to shut it down!
00:34Your DJ set is gonna shatter every single window in a three block radius!
00:42If the city won't have us...
00:46We'll tear it all down!
00:52What's come over you two? You're leaving us without a choice!
00:58Let's settle this in the mosh pit!
01:15Come on!
01:53I'm not leaving you!
01:58You're going down!
02:02I'm going down!
02:06I'm going down!
02:11I'm going down!
02:16I'm going down!
02:21I'm going down!
02:27I'm going down!
02:33I'm going down!
02:39I'm going down!
02:45Yeah
03:15I
03:45Mean
04:15Oh
04:42Great fully
04:46Don't make us hurt you too Ray
04:52Sorry guys, I only get paid if I do the whole set that's some gig economy realness right there
04:59We could use another hand hauling 600 pounds of large veterinary animal back to the sewers
05:06Ray fillet
05:09Yo G dog, what are you doing up there man?
05:12Ensuring the survival of my species, what does it look like I?
05:20Mean it kind of looks like you're poisoning in the water
05:26Poison you've got it all wrong turtles. This is the cure
05:32I'm just helping remind mutants who they really are
05:41Predators
05:56The heck is that another new mutant they're really coming out of the brickwork
06:03Humans want to put us at the bottom of the food chain, but we are the apex
06:08We're going to put the jungle back in concrete jungle
06:13And make Manhattan the capital of a new mutant controlled society
06:22Guys is it me or does she smell a little bit amazing?
06:29Like retching from the bodega on a hot summer night
06:34Dude yes
06:37Guys focus we're missing the monologue
06:42I'm sorry. Who are you we didn't catch your name?
06:48Kami Lian was the name written on my cage
06:54When we take this city, we will know each other as we would in the wild by scent
07:00Um
07:03Yeah, so about that clearly evil plan Kami, we're definitely going to expose it
07:11Let all of New York know that you're the one making all the newbies act crazy
07:18Dead turtles tell no tales Oh
07:23Genghis
07:29Remember how the swamp got drained with your tadpole brothers still inside these turtles were the ones who pulled the bath plug
08:00Oh
08:13Not there
08:15Drop the axe Genghis. We don't want to hurt you so what I'll only hurt a baby frog
08:22There were no tadpoles Kami said y'all try to gas like me. I'm immune to your sweet
08:29I
08:59I
09:18He's down should I grab the stretcher
09:23Before we move Genghis, there's one very important thing. We need to take care. Oh
09:28Oh, yeah, we should probably turn the water filter back on
09:36Guess there won't be any talking turtles in the post-apocalypse
09:39Apocalypse
09:58Man is she cray-cray
10:00No fear she can see us and we can barely see her
10:04Like shooting turtles in a barrel those night-vision goggles are giving her the upper hand
10:09Hmm, maybe we can use them against her
10:14What if we whack one of those generators it could cause a power surge the sheer intensity of light would overload the goggles
10:24Come on the one about the lazy wombat in the totally awesome one. I think I got the gist
10:31Wombats spend much of the winter in their burrows. Yeah, totally
10:39Eric Pattenborough down under is a great spinoff
10:44Every day foraging berries in preparation for the long winter
10:48But the lazy wombat spent all day watching the telly come first snowfall
10:54Yes, he was walking on the awesome wombat's burrow trying to bum lily-pillies. I mean, there's only one other character in the story
11:02That's right. The lazy wombat point is you're all lazy wombats, and I'm an awesome wombat now back away
11:09from the pudding
11:39I
12:09I
12:39I
12:46She's down
12:49We're getting good at this
12:52Shall I give the spiel
12:55Be my guest
12:59Hey Leatherhead
13:01Hey, you're safe, buddy. None of this was your fault. It was the pheromone that made you think the end times were nigher than usual
13:09Not so fast lazy wombats
13:40You
13:47Now stay down
13:52I doubt she'll wake up normal with all the pheromone in the air. Let's get her back to the sewers stat
13:58Good call everyone grab a limb
14:10You
14:14It's really dark inside the theater
14:18Why are you whispering there's no actual movie playing probably a good idea to keep our voices down so we nut doesn't hear us
14:28Guys bats see with echolocation. She's probably staring at us like right now
14:35What crud
14:38Everyone feel along the wall and flip any switch you find let's get these lights on
14:45Commence button smashing
14:48Nope nope not that one. That's definitely a vacuum ah let there be light I
15:02Think Mikey just turned on the projector it must be playing the last film that was loaded before the theater closed
15:08Huh
15:12Were there any early aughts movies featuring a giant shadow dragon
15:19That's no movie, it's actual winglets silhouette
15:37No fair we can't reach her
15:40Learn Yumi instead of nunchucks
15:43No way being the archer of the group is like being the drummer in a band the front man's always blocking your shot
16:07I
16:37I
17:07I
17:37I
18:07I
18:09I
18:36Down
18:38That was the most intense theater going experience I've ever had
18:44Let's give her the smelling salts back in the sewer if the antiferrimone doesn't work. We don't want her escaping into the rafters again
18:53Good idea
19:01Didn't realize turtles can make that noise they do when they're cornered
19:05I'm sorry Mikey, but we have to knock you out. It's for your own good
19:16This feels wrong just pretend we're back in the dojo, but without the sparring gloves
19:26Sorry about the toy truck Mikey
19:34You to apologize you were probably the one holding it you're the tallest this is how the ooze made me baby big is beautiful
20:05I
20:06Talked to take down that kid if he was half as effective as a teammate as he was a mini boss
20:15We would have wrecked Kami's plan by now, let's get out of here before a cement mixer drives by and rouses him
20:26Whole bunch of feral movies
20:35You
20:40Our movement grows
20:45Only because you poison the pizza that was supposed to cure them I
20:51Don't know what you're talking about, but why would anyone want to cure this?
20:58Behold
21:00Revolution we're finally free to flash our beautiful hides in the open
21:06Now it's the humans who are afraid to leave their home
21:12Yes, there's a bit of a problem for us humans are our friends
21:19Friends people tire of pets
21:22Today you're a new puppy tomorrow. You'll be tangled up with five other canines on a dog walkers multi-leash
21:31I
21:34Know friendship when I feel it. It's when your podcast co-hosts tease you up for a joke
21:43Or you hot rod a drum with a pal
21:49When you share a swim lane and somehow never managed to bump into each other
21:53You
21:56When you rally a kickball team from certain defeat and rush them out
21:59I can tell by the look in your eye that you haven't felt friendship Kami, and I'm sorry for that
22:09The look you're seeing is disappointment you four have been over socialized domesticated
22:16I
22:27Don't get you
22:38Come on
22:46Oh
22:52Sorry
22:58Awesome
23:16You fight well
23:20Revolution I could use ninja bodyguards. Why are you saying anything?
23:31You smell too much you don't want your pheromone to practice very important position
23:37There's nothing creepy about
23:40Human society will tell you
23:42Is the official language of New York City, I'll be committed to the name
24:02Time to move
24:04Oh
24:11Yummy
24:15Not there
24:19So what exactly happens to the humans
24:22They can move to the suburbs
24:25Well, that's a step up from Superfly
24:28You can't take people out of their homes
24:31It used to be a forest
24:34Plums about evicting the squirrels
24:38Taking what's ours
24:53Guard
24:57Oh
25:03Why are the newbies running away stampede
25:11Look a TCR Ivan dance floor cutting up the side streets
25:27Oh
25:29Oh
25:52No, I promise no cages it wasn't meant to be like this
26:00Hey, Tammy, we got to get out of here before they round us up. We've actually been captured by TCR I before and I'm still
26:12Yet you still defend humans we can debate on the way home. Come on. Let's get you some more safe
26:21I'm sorry
26:24Oh
26:27Tammy wait time for us to disappear. Let's go
26:32What
26:54Oh
26:59This is straight out of a disaster movie, how did Kami managed to wreak this much havoc
27:05Cuz she just absorbed the ultimate dose of the pheromone great we turbocharged her
27:12And unleashed all of her worst instincts. Oh
27:16Oh
27:18Kami it's us your buds. Why are you brandishing your chucks? Don't taunt the angry chameleon?
27:26I'm waving. This is waving
27:31We do need a way to lure her out of hiding
27:34Let's think what do chameleons like to eat grasshoppers crickets geckos
27:40Wait, what was that last one?
27:46So, what do I do exactly just lie still
27:54But not too still chameleons prefer a hot meal we don't want Kami to think mondo is dead
28:03Now go on out there and look appetizing I'm just I'm just working up to it
28:11Okay, here I go
28:21Now we wait doesn't pretty scared I feel bad for the guy
28:41Ah
28:45Run mondo, this is why I'm a pacifist
28:52Kami over here. It's me Leo
29:00There is no Kenny there is only
29:04Turbo Kenny, she does not look happy that her dinner turned out to be takeout
29:11Oh
29:17Now what I don't know but we can't let her get away fan out
29:28Let's save Kami guys you sure we can do it
29:34We can if we stick together I just hope she doesn't have a final form
29:40Look she's moving claw prints in the caramel pie. That's something let's follow her tracks and start swinging
30:11Yeah
30:31We know yo, we're not ready for our sandwiches we ate a hearty breakfast
30:36I can't watch you Turtles fumble in the dark any longer. I want you to see how I see with my ears
30:57At the location sick, thanks for the air support wingnut anytime now it's time to ground and pound
31:06Yeah
31:36Oh
32:02Hey
32:06Oh
32:36I
32:51Witnessing a spontaneous evolution me like five
32:55Way faster than you guys. She's adapting to her environment
33:00In real time playing hide-and-seek didn't work out so she evolved armored scales
33:05I think it's going full-on tank mode just where I start
33:11It feels like she's just shrugging off our attack
33:29Oh
33:40Special delivery ray you brought us pizza
33:43You keep plugging away at Kami and I'll keep you fueled up
33:46These pies ought to keep us in the game long enough to pierce Kami's armor
33:50play ready
33:59Oh
34:02Come on
34:07Very complete
34:29Oh
34:59Oh
35:29Yeah
35:59Love it
36:29Oh
36:36That's a long way down
36:40Anyone see a splash?
36:42Would we even from this high up?
36:45Hold my side
36:47What do no way?
36:51I'm a good swimmer been training since August
36:54That's irrelevant you hit the water from this altitude, it'll feel like concrete let's not be lemmings
37:03It's up to the boss man, I'm willing Leo I
37:09Lost a friend today. I'm not losing a brother. I
37:14Can't believe she's
37:16Gone, if this is the end for Kami it came because she was trying to protect her fellow mutants
37:21She's an example to all of us
37:23Let's go home
37:51Oh
38:06What is that thing
38:09It's an IRL meh
38:12You boys can help me hold my pitch
38:15Wait Toby's inside of that thing. That's the hard questions just like real investors
38:22Okay, um, I guess I'll go first
38:26How did a C-suite guy like you learn to drive that thing I can control this exoskeleton using only my mind
38:35See about these fine motor skills is he changing a light bulb
38:45This is a sun salutation
38:49Your ninja should take a look at yoga, it's great for flexing
38:57This guy's nuts
39:02Not buying my pitch then nothing wins over a room of skeptical venture capitalists like a hands-on demo
39:14I
39:18Sure must be a pheromone. This is what makes the mind control possible
39:27Omega strain you accidentally discovered it does affect people just like with you
39:34Our thoughts become uncluttered without the pheromones too much noise
39:41It's the ultimate signal booster
39:44Yeah
40:09Hey
40:14Yeah
40:44Oh
40:54That big flies and
41:00Prepare to be grounded
41:14I think we're in for a rollercoaster
41:18Rollercoaster
41:43No
41:45Do even realize how expensive this was the prototype
41:49We're pulling the plug Toby on your funding and your robot
41:55Technically that's a class 6 exoskeleton. Oh
41:58And Toby, please use whatever brain control you have left to land this blimp at the nearest police station
42:06Sure, I'll just let the nice officers know you imprisoned me in this suit and why would we do that?
42:13Because
42:15You're using me as a guinea pig
42:20Testing how effective the mutant porn pheromone is at mind-controlling humans
42:25That does sound pretty sinister
42:29Yeah, I know right
42:31Now, can you repeat our fake plan once more this time direct a camera?
42:38What what camera?
42:42Hold the Mac and say cheese Toby
42:46So you were recording
42:48Everything I just said technically my friend Maz was I texted him when we flew over Bay Ridge to tell us
42:54Just in case you know this
42:57We've got the smoking gun Toby you and TCR. I are going down
43:03TCRI ha the moment you leak this video they'll toss my pitch deck into the shredder. Oh
43:10no
43:11anything but
43:13the shredder
43:15Let me guess this shredder. It's laced with razor-sharp chrome
43:20Relentlessly choose their victims like grandma
43:25I'm shivering in my leg warmers
43:29Wait, I thought we agreed those are totally necessary ankle sweat guard
43:36And depends on the weather don't say I didn't warn you
43:41You