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Host: Nida Yasir
Guest: Seemi Pasha, Shumaila Shahbaz
Good Morning Pakistan is your first source of entertainment as soon as you wake up in the morning, keeping you energized for the rest of the day.
Timing: Every Monday – Friday at 9:00 AM on ARY Digital.
#goodmorningpakistan #nidayasir #arydigitalshow #arydigital
Join ARY Digital on Whatsapp https://bit.ly/3LnAbHU
Subscribe NOW: https://www.youtube.com/arydigitalasia
Download ARY ZAP: https://l.ead.me/bb9zI1
Pakistani Drama Industry's biggest Platform, ARY Digital, is the Hub of exceptional and uninterrupted entertainment. You can watch quality dramas with relatable stories, Original Sound Tracks, Telefilms, and a lot more impressive content in HD. Subscribe to the YouTube channel of ARY Digital to be entertained by the content you always wanted to watch.
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FunTranscript
00:00:30Good morning, good morning Pakistan!
00:00:32Sometimes you find it so difficult to get up in the morning
00:00:37and the energy you need to get up in the morning is also difficult.
00:00:41Sometimes big tasks seem easy in life
00:00:44and sometimes small tasks seem very difficult.
00:00:47For example, when you are at every stage of life,
00:00:52your thinking is different.
00:00:53Like when you are young, you feel like you have to go to school in the morning,
00:00:56you have to go to school every day, you have to do your homework, you have to prepare for your exams.
00:01:00Life is so difficult.
00:01:01When you grow up and come into practical life,
00:01:03you feel that studies were the easiest,
00:01:06now you have to find a job, you have to make a career.
00:01:09So how difficult is this?
00:01:10You have to become a doctor, that is difficult.
00:01:13You have to study engineering, you have to study business,
00:01:16you have to start a business and take it till the end.
00:01:20No matter where you live in any country,
00:01:22it is not easy to achieve success.
00:01:24It seems very difficult.
00:01:26But you know that if you study medical,
00:01:29then yes, you will become a doctor.
00:01:32Your future will be secure.
00:01:34You know that if you study business,
00:01:39you will do CA, which is very difficult for a person to pass.
00:01:43But you know that your future will be safe.
00:01:46Good education, difficult education,
00:01:48and with that hard work, you get to know this.
00:01:52This is a guarantee that your future will be secure.
00:01:55You will move forward in your career.
00:01:58But whether you are a doctor, an engineer, a pilot,
00:02:02or whatever, no matter how much money you earn,
00:02:05you are a very successful businesswoman.
00:02:08There is one thing that has no guarantee,
00:02:11and there are no courses to teach it.
00:02:15That is, there is a phase in life
00:02:18in which you have to leave your parents' house
00:02:21and go to a stranger's house, which is called a stranger's house,
00:02:24and you have to make that stranger's house yours.
00:02:27And to make that stranger's house yours,
00:02:30you have to make a lot of sacrifices and endure a lot of things
00:02:33to make that house yours.
00:02:36But no one teaches us this properly.
00:02:39It has no classes, no books, no courses.
00:02:42Rather, everyone teaches you on the basis of their experiences.
00:02:45Your own, you can call it teaching you.
00:02:48Or you can call it teaching you wisdom.
00:02:51So, there is no guarantee
00:02:54that the things that have been told,
00:02:57where you are leaving,
00:03:00you are leaving,
00:03:03does the whole fit sit in that house or not?
00:03:06Whatever experiments you do in front of your parents,
00:03:09good or bad, your blood, your siblings,
00:03:12your parents forgive you.
00:03:15But if you go to that house and start experimenting,
00:03:18sometimes they become very heavy for you.
00:03:21So, to teach you this manners and culture,
00:03:24we have some experts with us today.
00:03:27One is the one who,
00:03:30on the basis of his experience,
00:03:33will put you in a lot of trouble.
00:03:36It is very good, if you don't have a blood relation
00:03:39and he teaches you this culture and manners,
00:03:42then you get to know the reality of life.
00:03:45But if your blood relative tells you something,
00:03:48then obviously, in love,
00:03:51he may not show you the real face of the world.
00:03:54But here, we are trying to give you guidelines
00:03:57so that you can see the real face of the world
00:04:00and how you have to bear in it,
00:04:03how to swim in that sea.
00:04:06We will give you some tips on our show.
00:04:09Good morning, Pakistan.
00:04:16Welcome. Welcome back.
00:04:19Good morning, Pakistan.
00:04:22As I told you, it is better to listen to someone else
00:04:25than to give these tips to yourself.
00:04:28Because sometimes, you can't give yourself the right advice.
00:04:31Maybe in love, maybe in love.
00:04:34Or they have their own experiences.
00:04:37But those who have seen the world
00:04:40and have more expertise than others,
00:04:43they can give you the right advice.
00:04:46Today, our two experts will sit on the topic of our show.
00:04:49They will give us guidelines
00:04:52based on their own experiences.
00:04:55They have been a daughter-in-law and a mother-in-law.
00:04:58They will give us guidelines based on their experiences.
00:05:01And the other one is an expert as a professional.
00:05:04So, let's welcome Simi Pasha.
00:05:07Assalamualaikum.
00:05:10Assalamualaikum.
00:05:13We have Shumaila Shahbaz with us
00:05:16to fulfill her expertise with you.
00:05:19She is an etiquette and grooming consultant.
00:05:22Assalamualaikum.
00:05:25How are you?
00:05:28This is a different kind of topic
00:05:31in which you both have been invited.
00:05:34There are a lot of scientific things
00:05:37but there are no basic life courses for this.
00:05:40There are no basic life courses for this.
00:05:43But I have tried
00:05:46that there should be a small pre-wedding course.
00:05:49Like in Pakistan,
00:05:52mothers are so busy
00:05:55and shy
00:05:58that they can't even tell their daughters the basic things.
00:06:01Or maybe they are really shy to tell their daughters.
00:06:04When their daughters get married
00:06:07and go to their in-laws' house,
00:06:10they are so shy to tell their daughters
00:06:13or guide them.
00:06:16So, there is a lot of hesitation
00:06:19to give them the confidence
00:06:22to go to their in-laws' house
00:06:25and tell them the basics.
00:06:28I got married at a very young age
00:06:31when I was educated and professional.
00:06:34I knew what to do
00:06:37but my mother didn't tell me what to do.
00:06:40My mother was also working
00:06:43so she thought that if I educate my daughter,
00:06:46she will learn by herself.
00:06:49I was the first child
00:06:52so my mother doesn't think that
00:06:55even a small thing at that age is a big deal.
00:06:58It was a small thing
00:07:01that made me a big deal.
00:07:04Then girls get disturbed.
00:07:07I don't know, maybe my mother realized this later
00:07:10when other sisters got married.
00:07:13It was her first experience of getting her first daughter married.
00:07:16So, at that time I realized that
00:07:19girls should have a little understanding
00:07:22and some house girls do have it.
00:07:25I don't know why they didn't teach us
00:07:28when we were young.
00:07:31We learned a lot of things after marriage
00:07:34and we learned it by ourselves.
00:07:37When we went to our in-laws' house,
00:07:40we saw their set up
00:07:43and we tried to adapt to it.
00:07:46There were some mishaps and mistakes
00:07:49but we learned from it.
00:07:52Now, if we groom girls
00:07:55and teach them how to conduct themselves
00:07:58or how to conduct themselves on stage
00:08:01or in mehendi rituals.
00:08:04These are small things that are happening now
00:08:07and I like it because it wasn't like this in our time.
00:08:10We did what we had to do.
00:08:13We were successful in doing it ourselves
00:08:16to a certain extent
00:08:19but it should have happened in our time.
00:08:22We miss these things.
00:08:25Whether we believe it or not,
00:08:28the world has progressed.
00:08:31But the old concept of going to a girl's house
00:08:34has not changed.
00:08:37In many classes and arranged marriages,
00:08:40if you go to a girl's house
00:08:43or if you see her in a gathering,
00:08:46you know that she wants to come home.
00:08:49When she comes home,
00:08:52no matter how confident she is,
00:08:55she is not able to understand
00:08:58how to come in front of her.
00:09:01Many girls will understand
00:09:04that they won't look fake.
00:09:07But this is a difficult thing
00:09:10because you know that someone is coming to see you
00:09:13and you are not able to stay in front of them.
00:09:16Either you become very quiet or you start talking a lot.
00:09:19Both things happen.
00:09:22The first question I will ask you
00:09:25is that when someone is coming to see a girl
00:09:28for the first time
00:09:31or she knows that
00:09:34all the focus will be on her,
00:09:37what should she do?
00:09:41You are absolutely right.
00:09:44These days, girls are educated.
00:09:47They don't want to be seen as a showpiece.
00:09:50Exactly.
00:09:53They don't want to be seen as a showpiece.
00:09:56Exactly.
00:09:59I always tell families
00:10:02and their parents
00:10:05that when someone is coming to see your daughter,
00:10:08don't tell them that you are going with a trolley.
00:10:11Don't do that.
00:10:14If you have another daughter at home,
00:10:17ask her to do all this.
00:10:20Like you said, she becomes very shy.
00:10:23We should make our daughters understand
00:10:26and give them confidence
00:10:29that it is not necessary for you to get married here.
00:10:32You don't have to worry.
00:10:35We meet other people outside.
00:10:38You are saying that a mother should
00:10:41first relax her daughter.
00:10:44It is not necessary for you to get married there.
00:10:47You just need to meet them.
00:10:50You will sit with them and greet them.
00:10:53You will talk to them.
00:10:56You will see their mental level.
00:10:59You should have an idea.
00:11:02If you are shy,
00:11:05you may not understand them.
00:11:08If you are shy and don't talk to them,
00:11:11you may not understand them.
00:11:14If you are excited and talk to them,
00:11:17they will understand you.
00:11:20Talk to them with confidence.
00:11:23There is no problem.
00:11:26If you like them,
00:11:29they will understand you.
00:11:32If you cannot cook,
00:11:35you don't know how to cook.
00:11:38You have to observe them.
00:11:41You have to judge and observe them.
00:11:44They don't just come to see you.
00:11:47You have to make a relationship with them.
00:11:50If you think that
00:11:53it is a nice family and you can get along with them,
00:11:56you can tell your parents
00:11:59to meet once or twice more.
00:12:02If you don't want to meet them,
00:12:05you can tell them that you are sorry.
00:12:08Despite that, parents force you.
00:12:11If you don't want to meet them,
00:12:14it is important for girls to say sorry.
00:12:17As you know,
00:12:20our divorce rate has increased.
00:12:24It is better to judge them
00:12:27and then get married.
00:12:30Shumaila is right.
00:12:33I am not in favour of a girl bringing a tray.
00:12:36I want people to like each other
00:12:39in parties and weddings.
00:12:42That will automatically raise the confidence level.
00:12:47If she has to bring a tray,
00:12:50she should not bring a tray.
00:12:53I will second Shumaila.
00:12:56You have to put in her mind
00:12:59that you have to observe people.
00:13:02Her focus will be away from you.
00:13:05She will not be scared or scared.
00:13:08She will have the confidence
00:13:11that she has to judge people.
00:13:14The confidence level will change her body language.
00:13:17She will not be scared or scared.
00:13:20She will know how her parents are.
00:13:23She will know how her son is.
00:13:26These things will be wiped out.
00:13:29These things are not there in our girls.
00:13:32In earlier girls, there was a lot of fear.
00:13:35They didn't even look at their son.
00:13:38They didn't even look at their son.
00:13:41They didn't even think about their son.
00:13:44The second important thing is
00:13:47after the marriage is fixed,
00:13:50there are a lot of families
00:13:53who say that they don't want to meet their son.
00:13:56They don't want to go to their in-laws.
00:13:59There are a lot of families like this.
00:14:02I don't know why they do this.
00:14:05But they don't want to meet their son.
00:14:08They don't want to go to their in-laws.
00:14:11It's like a game.
00:14:14Before marriage, you feel that you are married.
00:14:17How much should you limit your visits?
00:14:20How much should you visit your in-laws?
00:14:23After the marriage is fixed.
00:14:26How much mail did you receive?
00:14:29How many phone calls did you receive?
00:14:32There should be a limit.
00:14:35I always say that
00:14:38if there is a distance, there is always respect.
00:14:41Even with your siblings,
00:14:44even with your siblings,
00:14:47even if you joke a lot,
00:14:50if there is a limit, you get upset with them.
00:14:53You know how your siblings are.
00:14:56You know how much you can cross the limit with them.
00:14:59You know how much you can cross the limit with them.
00:15:02Exactly.
00:15:05Even if you know how much you can cross the limit with them,
00:15:08even if you know how much you can cross the limit with them,
00:15:11it means that they are strangers.
00:15:14A little distance is very important.
00:15:17It is also important to meet the boy and the girl.
00:15:20If they don't meet, they won't even know each other.
00:15:23Because your comfort level increases
00:15:26when you know what they like.
00:15:29The basic things should not go too deep.
00:15:32If you don't want to dominate,
00:15:35if you don't want to dominate,
00:15:38if you don't want to dominate,
00:15:41if you don't want to dominate,
00:15:44if you don't want to dominate,
00:15:47if you don't want to dominate,
00:15:50if you don't want to dominate,
00:15:53if you don't want to dominate,
00:15:56if you don't want to dominate,
00:15:59you should meet them and say all basic things to them.
00:16:04At that time, you are showing affection to each other.
00:16:10This is important, don't go into too much depth.
00:16:13But the nature of your relationship should be known.
00:16:16We are told that when you go to a restaurant to meet someone,
00:16:24how is their reaction with the waiters?
00:16:27it means he is a good person by nature
00:16:29so these are the basic things
00:16:31you have to see
00:16:33if he is good to people
00:16:35down to earth
00:16:37unprivileged people
00:16:39then I think he should go ahead
00:16:41he should do it
00:16:43just keep this much
00:16:45and don't do long engagements
00:16:47the longer it is
00:16:49the more problems it creates
00:16:51the more things happen
00:16:53the more you go in depth
00:16:55more fights
00:16:57then the engagement
00:16:59breaks
00:17:01or the marriage
00:17:03it is better to talk on the phone
00:17:05and meet with the family
00:17:07this way you understand
00:17:09the family's behaviour
00:17:11a boy and a girl
00:17:13don't get married, it is a family
00:17:15so if after engagement
00:17:17and marriage families meet
00:17:19and the boy and girl
00:17:21sit and talk
00:17:23then it is better
00:17:25if you have to go alone
00:17:27then it is too much
00:17:29after marriage
00:17:31the golden period should be there
00:17:33the charm is over
00:17:35exactly
00:17:37the golden period
00:17:39after marriage
00:17:41is over
00:17:43so there is a time for everything
00:17:45and that's it
00:17:47one important question
00:17:49that
00:17:51a lot of girls
00:17:53I am not talking about dowry
00:17:55a lot of normal things
00:17:57that a girl needs
00:17:59she doesn't know
00:18:01what she should take
00:18:03for example
00:18:05her old clothes
00:18:07she gives it to her sisters
00:18:09I am talking about that
00:18:11what should be included
00:18:13in her list
00:18:15that can help her
00:18:17first of all
00:18:19if she wants to
00:18:21bring her things
00:18:23but when a girl gets married
00:18:25and she goes to another house
00:18:27like I went
00:18:29first of all my husband didn't get
00:18:31any dowry
00:18:33now what happened
00:18:35I got a little more shy
00:18:37after that no one is with me
00:18:39now when you reach there
00:18:41you need so many things immediately
00:18:43now who will you ask
00:18:45if someone gets married
00:18:47if she has a headache
00:18:49it's a long process
00:18:51if she has a headache
00:18:53now who will I ask
00:18:55and you feel shy
00:18:57and start asking for medicines
00:18:59but if you don't settle
00:19:01your stomach gets upset
00:19:03headache
00:19:05and all the advice I gave
00:19:07keep a hand carry
00:19:09with you
00:19:11keep different pouches
00:19:13in which your basic needs
00:19:15like shoes
00:19:17banded
00:19:19safety pins
00:19:21necklines
00:19:23because you wear new clothes
00:19:25we never thought about this
00:19:27and you can do
00:19:29neckline with safety pins
00:19:31there are fights
00:19:33you are newly married
00:19:35you are thin
00:19:37you are wearing a dress
00:19:39if someone hugs you
00:19:41first of all fights
00:19:43and start scolding
00:19:45so these small things
00:19:47safety pins
00:19:49a sewing kit
00:19:51with different colored needles
00:19:53you can do it
00:19:55immediately
00:19:57I carry it everywhere
00:19:59then you have
00:20:01a lidocaine spray
00:20:03usually doctors use
00:20:05when sportsmen
00:20:07get injuries
00:20:09so all the models
00:20:11who work all night
00:20:13they spray it
00:20:15and wear shoes
00:20:17I think our brides also
00:20:19wear shoes
00:20:21because inside the marriage
00:20:23how much walking
00:20:25making videos
00:20:27you can't even imagine
00:20:29when you get tired
00:20:31sitting on the stage
00:20:33who is used to
00:20:35sitting on the sofa
00:20:37I can sit as long as I want
00:20:39sitting straight
00:20:41you are newly married
00:20:43obviously you need that energy
00:20:45you can't eat
00:20:49we will continue this
00:20:51after a break
00:20:53you will also tell me your experience
00:20:55when a thin and thin girl
00:20:57becomes a bride
00:20:59what all things she has to bear
00:21:01keep watching Good Morning Pakistan
00:21:09welcome
00:21:11welcome back Good Morning Pakistan
00:21:13we are talking about
00:21:15something that
00:21:17we don't even think about
00:21:19that we need this
00:21:21we have to learn this
00:21:23so many things
00:21:25because of which
00:21:27girls have to face problems
00:21:29and these small things
00:21:31make a big thing
00:21:33so today we are discussing
00:21:35how to tackle it
00:21:37first impression is the last impression
00:21:39how to make your own impression
00:21:41last
00:21:43we left the topic
00:21:45that what all things a girl
00:21:47should carry in her suitcase
00:21:49so
00:21:51painkillers are necessary
00:21:53keep painkillers
00:21:55bandage, safety pins
00:21:57perfume always
00:21:59and deodorant
00:22:01because when you sit
00:22:03you sweat
00:22:05so you should have
00:22:07perfume
00:22:09and then
00:22:11what you have to do
00:22:13hair accessories are very important
00:22:15because when you tie your hair
00:22:17you have to
00:22:19comb your hair
00:22:21you have to get confused
00:22:23you have to
00:22:25tie your hair
00:22:27after that
00:22:29your snack
00:22:31keep small snacks
00:22:33sometimes when you are hungry
00:22:35you can't ask for snacks
00:22:37you feel shy
00:22:39you are a new bride
00:22:41I always say
00:22:43keep a small cake
00:22:45which is fully packed
00:22:47you open it and eat
00:22:49you get energy
00:22:51energy drink
00:22:53you should have
00:22:55other snacks
00:22:57vitamins
00:22:59and then
00:23:01a girl
00:23:03is always ready
00:23:05for marriage
00:23:07but when she wakes up
00:23:09she doesn't know
00:23:11that she is getting ready
00:23:13she doesn't know makeup
00:23:15if you don't know makeup
00:23:17what you have to do
00:23:19you don't need foundation
00:23:21keep a BB cream
00:23:23moisturize your face
00:23:25you should have sunscreen
00:23:27BB cream
00:23:29liquid illuminator
00:23:31if you apply two small puffs
00:23:33in BB cream
00:23:35it will glow
00:23:37on your face
00:23:39because you don't get enough sleep
00:23:41because of festivals
00:23:43although it is different
00:23:45from freshness
00:23:47but still
00:23:49when you got married
00:23:51you were thin
00:23:53you didn't have life
00:23:55I didn't have anything
00:23:57what she is saying
00:23:59I didn't have anything
00:24:01I didn't have any awareness
00:24:03that this should happen
00:24:05you are right
00:24:07after marriage
00:24:09in-laws feel
00:24:11what you have
00:24:13you can't ask
00:24:15you feel shy
00:24:17you are an expert
00:24:19you are telling
00:24:21so many minor details
00:24:23I don't need to say
00:24:25all girls should know
00:24:27and from your platform
00:24:29everyone will get awareness
00:24:31that you should keep small things
00:24:33but in our time
00:24:35I didn't see
00:24:37maybe it happens
00:24:39but it didn't happen with me
00:24:41I told you about illuminator
00:24:43and lipstick
00:24:45it is very important
00:24:47you should always keep yourself ready
00:24:49so that
00:24:51whoever sees a new bride
00:24:53she will be glowing
00:24:55and smiling
00:24:57now a days girls have awareness
00:24:59about tints
00:25:01you don't have to do makeup
00:25:03you can conceal dark circles
00:25:05if your skin is good
00:25:07if you are young
00:25:09your skin is beautiful
00:25:11you have glow of your age
00:25:13now a days girls apply tints
00:25:15you have seen in dramas
00:25:17they make eyebrows
00:25:19and apply tints
00:25:21so you should have
00:25:23freshness
00:25:25no make up look
00:25:27I don't know
00:25:29why girls don't wear bangles
00:25:31and bangles
00:25:33I don't want to wear bangles
00:25:35but at that time
00:25:37if you are at home
00:25:39I like the bangles
00:25:41it is very important
00:25:43to be ready
00:25:45when will you be ready?
00:25:47all my life
00:25:49this is the day
00:25:51to enjoy
00:25:53we can't do this
00:25:55we can't do this
00:25:57we don't want to wear bangles
00:25:59what will we do?
00:26:01traditions should be kept
00:26:03many girls say
00:26:05we can't do this
00:26:07they discuss
00:26:09we don't like this
00:26:11we don't like that
00:26:13sometimes we have to wear
00:26:15bangles
00:26:17wear bangles
00:26:19one more thing
00:26:21many girls don't have this awareness
00:26:23they have focus on them
00:26:25if you go as a guest
00:26:27in a normal wedding
00:26:29you don't have this much focus
00:26:31but when you become a bride
00:26:33all the focus is on you
00:26:35I have seen in Mayo
00:26:37when girls wear veil
00:26:39they will be like this
00:26:41girls don't know
00:26:43that all the guests
00:26:45are looking at you
00:26:47how can you be presentable?
00:26:49how can you sit?
00:26:51how can you be Mayo's bride?
00:26:53how can you be Mehendi's bride?
00:26:55you are wearing heavy dupatta
00:26:57as a model
00:26:59please explain this
00:27:01I am in favor of
00:27:03Mayo should be simple
00:27:05with no makeup
00:27:07her posture should be proper
00:27:09she shouldn't bend
00:27:11what is the need of bending?
00:27:13Mayo should be simple
00:27:15in Mehendi
00:27:17light makeup
00:27:19flowers
00:27:21no jewellery
00:27:23brides should be simple
00:27:25in Mayo and Mehendi
00:27:27if you compare
00:27:29all look the same
00:27:31in Mehendi
00:27:33brides are over
00:27:35I don't think so
00:27:37it doesn't glow
00:27:39in Mehendi
00:27:41Mayo should be simple
00:27:43your posture should be proper
00:27:45why should you bend?
00:27:47Dupatta should be on your head
00:27:49like Tika Jhumar
00:27:51Dupatta on brides
00:27:53in Mayo and Mehendi
00:27:55you don't have to put it aside
00:27:57these are traditions
00:27:59you don't have to put it aside
00:28:01you have to maintain it
00:28:03this is the beauty of marriage
00:28:05Mayo
00:28:07Mayo, Mehendi
00:28:09Mayo, Mehendi
00:28:11in Mayo when brides bend
00:28:13you don't have to bend
00:28:15in Mayo no makeup
00:28:17no makeup look
00:28:19light glow
00:28:21these are the pictures
00:28:23there are traditions in Pakistan
00:28:25in Mayo
00:28:27I always say
00:28:29from now on
00:28:31brides hair should be set
00:28:33so that it doesn't get messy
00:28:35like Dupatta
00:28:37yellow flowers
00:28:39should be adorned
00:28:41so that it looks good
00:28:43and they adorn
00:28:45in our tradition
00:28:477 married women
00:28:49adorn
00:28:51in-laws also bring
00:28:53adorn
00:28:55Mayo should have 3 quarters
00:28:57or half sleeves
00:28:59so that if someone is
00:29:01putting uptan
00:29:03it shouldn't touch their clothes
00:29:05if someone is putting uptan on arms
00:29:07it should be open
00:29:09it shouldn't look weird
00:29:11you should sit with confidence
00:29:13your posture should be good
00:29:15Dupatta should be like this
00:29:17and with a light smile
00:29:19you are not laughing a lot
00:29:21but you are taking a good picture
00:29:23so that it will be remembered for life
00:29:25and for Mehendi
00:29:27makeup should be light
00:29:29and red
00:29:31flowers
00:29:33you have done yellow on Mayo
00:29:35red flowers
00:29:37it will look different
00:29:39and also
00:29:41Mehendi is put on your hands
00:29:43so you should put some
00:29:45leaves on it
00:29:47there is one thing
00:29:49in Pakistan
00:29:51they give so many sweets
00:29:53that girls get worried
00:29:55all the mehendi
00:29:57that I have done
00:29:59I take fruits
00:30:01I make a whole bouquet
00:30:03you take a small
00:30:05container
00:30:07crystal container
00:30:09you put
00:30:11the green one
00:30:13in pots
00:30:15you make a whole bouquet
00:30:17you put strawberry, pineapple
00:30:19which are seasonal
00:30:21seasonal fruits
00:30:23and whoever comes
00:30:25they put mehendi
00:30:27so that the sugar
00:30:29girls also get worried
00:30:31what to do
00:30:33literally
00:30:35now it is enough
00:30:37I had little understanding
00:30:39so I told my mother
00:30:41that I don't want sweets
00:30:43I like chocolates
00:30:45so I told her to take
00:30:47the almond bunty
00:30:49and put it in your mouth
00:30:51it will be small
00:30:53you don't have to open your mouth
00:30:55because they are giving so many sweets
00:30:57but now it has changed
00:30:59it is happening
00:31:01but the idea of fruits is very good
00:31:03because at that time
00:31:05you will make the bride so hyper
00:31:07and sometimes the stomach also gets upset
00:31:09and next day if you get married
00:31:11what will you do
00:31:13so it is good to eat fruits like that
00:31:15and to sit
00:31:17you should always
00:31:19make her sit on a comfortable chair
00:31:21so that she doesn't get tired
00:31:23see the girls
00:31:25how can it be comfortable
00:31:27keep cushions at the back
00:31:29see
00:31:31this is the thing
00:31:33we go and see the halls
00:31:35we see which sofa is good
00:31:37girls should see
00:31:39themselves
00:31:41it should be a two-seater
00:31:43so that many people don't sit on it
00:31:45it happens that aunts and uncles
00:31:47sit to perform the rituals
00:31:49and they sit on the girl's dupatta
00:31:51these cushions
00:31:53on henna
00:31:55on henna
00:31:57and the wedding stage
00:31:59keep it like this
00:32:01so that the dupatta doesn't come out
00:32:03and she can sit comfortably
00:32:05so that her back doesn't hurt
00:32:07or she can stay relaxed
00:32:09the wedding dress is heavy
00:32:11and no one should be allowed to sit at the back
00:32:13and pull her dupatta
00:32:15it happens often
00:32:17so she can sit comfortably
00:32:19because if your shoes are uncomfortable
00:32:21your feet hurt
00:32:23your face hurts
00:32:25your clothes are sticky
00:32:27all these things
00:32:29are coming out of your face
00:32:31if it is painful
00:32:33then how can it be comfortable
00:32:35the bride has to take care of all these things
00:32:37by herself
00:32:39no one else can do it
00:32:41she knows that my shoes
00:32:43are making me uncomfortable
00:32:45don't wear a new shoe
00:32:47try it
00:32:49don't cut it
00:32:51the shoes should be comfortable
00:32:53but in the wedding
00:32:55you have to keep a fit flop
00:32:57or a comfortable shoe
00:32:59you sit in the car
00:33:01you go with that shoe
00:33:03you don't have to wear heels
00:33:05when you are shooting a photo
00:33:07you wear heels
00:33:09if you are in the hall
00:33:11you wear heels
00:33:13you don't have to wear heels
00:33:15you know how painful their feet are
00:33:17and you have to wear it for 3 days
00:33:19you have to walk
00:33:21so you have to keep a comfortable shoe
00:33:23you pick up your dress
00:33:25and leave
00:33:27you have to find comfort for yourself
00:33:29you don't have to think
00:33:31you have to wear what you are given
00:33:33for example
00:33:35it happened with me
00:33:37my mother's shoes were very comfortable
00:33:39but I didn't see the wedding shoes
00:33:41I thought it will be new
00:33:43the box will open
00:33:45and everyone will come
00:33:47so I will look at it
00:33:49I thought it was comfortable
00:33:51when I wore the wedding shoes
00:33:53I was like this
00:33:55then I had to wear
00:33:57the old Mayo shoes
00:33:59I decided
00:34:01instead of falling down
00:34:03or not being able to walk
00:34:05I should see my comfort level
00:34:07so then
00:34:09I continued
00:34:11the Mayo shoes
00:34:13henna, Mayo
00:34:15everything was comfortable
00:34:17we have so much experience
00:34:19which we are telling
00:34:21and they will not repeat
00:34:23the mistakes
00:34:25now the next step
00:34:27after marriage
00:34:29usually the family
00:34:31brings the breakfast
00:34:33on the first day
00:34:35they are sitting on the breakfast
00:34:37I don't know how to behave
00:34:39I can't even eat
00:34:41there also
00:34:43they are forgetting
00:34:45so what to do there
00:34:47how to behave
00:34:49how much to eat
00:34:51and how much not to eat
00:34:53I was so hungry
00:34:55I didn't eat anything
00:34:57I didn't eat anything
00:34:59it happens sometimes
00:35:01you go in a trance
00:35:03there are new people
00:35:05what to eat
00:35:07I didn't eat anything
00:35:09I didn't eat anything
00:35:11my mind was blank
00:35:13I always say
00:35:15girls should eat
00:35:17you feel hungry
00:35:19but you feel shy
00:35:21everyone is sitting
00:35:23first of all
00:35:25the bride should greet
00:35:27everyone
00:35:29how are you
00:35:31I hope you are fine
00:35:33the elders
00:35:35how are you
00:35:37she feels so good
00:35:39that she becomes your fan
00:35:41say a few words
00:35:43how are you
00:35:45if someone is looking good
00:35:47say that
00:35:49she will be happy
00:35:51from the beginning
00:35:53whenever you meet
00:35:55have a seat
00:35:57when you sit
00:35:59please sit
00:36:01don't sit first
00:36:03make everyone comfortable
00:36:05you sit first
00:36:07you sit
00:36:09those who don't eat
00:36:11it's not necessary
00:36:13to eat everything
00:36:15the healthy things
00:36:17that will make you feel
00:36:19you feel
00:36:21take an omelette
00:36:23an egg
00:36:25eat an omelette
00:36:27in Punjabi
00:36:29they say
00:36:31bring a pie
00:36:33eat a pie
00:36:35take a bowl
00:36:37they say you shouldn't eat a pie
00:36:39but I am telling the bride
00:36:41how can you eat
00:36:43take a pie
00:36:45put small pieces
00:36:47take a quarter roti
00:36:49break the pieces
00:36:51and then
00:36:53eat from a spoon
00:36:55exactly
00:36:57you can just have a spoon
00:36:59and then eat it
00:37:01don't eat roti
00:37:03when you eat food
00:37:05you feel you can't eat
00:37:07because you feel
00:37:09you are hungry
00:37:11when you sit
00:37:13you feel hungry
00:37:15take some rice
00:37:17don't take roti
00:37:19and eat it with a spoon
00:37:21it's easy and quick
00:37:23you don't know how much you ate
00:37:25if you want to eat less
00:37:27eat less
00:37:29because
00:37:31my mother used to
00:37:33feed me
00:37:35no one will do this
00:37:37take care of yourself
00:37:39after a short break
00:37:41we will come back
00:37:43and tell you
00:37:45how to do it
00:37:47because first impression is the last impression
00:37:49we will make you so confident
00:37:51that you will remember us
00:37:53in good and bad times
00:37:55good morning
00:37:59good morning
00:38:03good morning
00:38:07welcome
00:38:09welcome back
00:38:11good morning Pakistan
00:38:13want to learn
00:38:15new things
00:38:17like finesse
00:38:19pre-bridal
00:38:21this is a new course
00:38:23I think
00:38:25this time
00:38:27These courses that we have discussed here, they take it in a little more detail,
00:38:34they make the brides practice it a little, so it is better for them,
00:38:39because when you practice one thing, then you remember everything.
00:38:43So I think you can call it a pre-wedding course.
00:38:46Yes, I can call it a pre-wedding course.
00:38:48If I ask you, you don't have a daughter, you have sons,
00:38:54so every mother-in-law has expectations, that when the daughter-in-law comes home,
00:38:59she will be like this, she will be happy.
00:39:01What makes you happy as a mother-in-law?
00:39:04First of all, there is respect.
00:39:07After that, you have to think a little.
00:39:10Like she said, you sit first, respect.
00:39:16These things are a lot.
00:39:18For me, it's a lot.
00:39:19What more do you want?
00:39:21What can you expect from a daughter-in-law?
00:39:23You have spent your whole life,
00:39:25to bring up your sons, to get them married,
00:39:29after that you have seen so much of the world,
00:39:32after that you need respect and a little care.
00:39:35If the daughter-in-law takes extra care,
00:39:38then you will be happy with her,
00:39:40she will enter your heart,
00:39:42and even if she doesn't ask you,
00:39:44you won't really hate her,
00:39:46you won't feel bad,
00:39:48because you brought her with your choice,
00:39:50plus you brought her with your son's choice,
00:39:52you don't feel that,
00:39:53but in your heart, it remains,
00:39:55that if she would have asked,
00:39:57it would have been better.
00:39:59Then life moves ahead,
00:40:01then things come ahead,
00:40:03but if you give your daughters a place,
00:40:09give them confidence,
00:40:11that this is your home,
00:40:13then a lot of things change.
00:40:16As a mother-in-law,
00:40:18do you feel that your daughter-in-law is ready,
00:40:21and you are praising her,
00:40:23that your daughter-in-law dresses well,
00:40:25do you get compliments?
00:40:27I have never focused on these things,
00:40:29that how ready she is,
00:40:31I see her comfort first,
00:40:33that in which dress she is comfortable,
00:40:36I don't want that if she is wearing jeans,
00:40:39then I will say Nida is coming,
00:40:41wear a shalwar kameez,
00:40:43I have never done this with my daughters-in-law,
00:40:45and in which she is happy,
00:40:47in which she is comfortable,
00:40:49more than makeup,
00:40:51I focus on her nature,
00:40:53that she is right with Nida,
00:40:55she is right with Shumaila,
00:40:57if Shumaila and Nida go from here,
00:40:59she won't say what kind of daughter-in-law she is,
00:41:01she didn't ask, didn't talk much,
00:41:03she was quiet,
00:41:05those things matter to me more,
00:41:07for me dressing and makeup,
00:41:09not matter,
00:41:11conduct matters more,
00:41:13and in conduct,
00:41:15if you respect everyone,
00:41:17if you don't respect,
00:41:19you won't get respect,
00:41:21I have seen some daughters-in-law,
00:41:23in families,
00:41:25they want us to get respect,
00:41:27from everyone,
00:41:29but we should stay in our zone,
00:41:31that zone is very dangerous for them,
00:41:33some girls,
00:41:37they are talkative,
00:41:39they know how to take initiative,
00:41:41how to start talking,
00:41:43but when a new girl goes there,
00:41:45many girls stay quiet,
00:41:47shy,
00:41:49they don't talk,
00:41:51so on relatives,
00:41:53family members,
00:41:55they get impression that
00:41:57she is moody,
00:41:59boring,
00:42:01stiff neck,
00:42:03where it is about respect,
00:42:05salam, dua,
00:42:07you understand that she is good,
00:42:09but after that,
00:42:11she doesn't even do this,
00:42:13I have seen such families,
00:42:15they don't even do this,
00:42:17so how can a person,
00:42:19she will sit quietly,
00:42:21this shouldn't happen,
00:42:23and if someone asks her,
00:42:25she is lost,
00:42:27she is not present there,
00:42:29same people,
00:42:31go to their families,
00:42:33and play different role,
00:42:35when they go to their parents,
00:42:37they have different personality,
00:42:39when they are in in-laws,
00:42:41in-laws have a boy,
00:42:43husband,
00:42:45he knows what kind of things
00:42:47are liked in my family,
00:42:49and what kind of things
00:42:51are not liked,
00:42:53now if a mother-in-law
00:42:55directly asks her daughter-in-law,
00:42:57why are you sitting like this,
00:42:59she will feel bad,
00:43:01and I think mother-in-law's
00:43:03relationship with her will be bad,
00:43:05her personality will be bad,
00:43:07her impression will be bad,
00:43:09her role is,
00:43:11to tell her wife,
00:43:13this is how we meet in my family,
00:43:15when she comes,
00:43:17this aunty is like this,
00:43:19talk to her like this,
00:43:21if you talk to her like this,
00:43:23she will be very happy,
00:43:25or uncle will be happy with you,
00:43:27now when she is bringing her
00:43:29in comfort zone,
00:43:31she is thinking,
00:43:33I am very close to her,
00:43:35she will be happy,
00:43:37so instead of talking to each other,
00:43:39we talk about family,
00:43:41my aunty is like this,
00:43:43when I used to talk to my husband,
00:43:45before marriage,
00:43:47I knew everyone's nature,
00:43:49who is of what kind of nature,
00:43:51so she gets a little help,
00:43:53exactly,
00:43:55and similarly,
00:43:57if she feels,
00:43:59she talked to her mother,
00:44:01I told her this,
00:44:03she told me to tell her like this,
00:44:05what I was thinking,
00:44:07in between,
00:44:09when it comes to mother-in-law and daughter-in-law,
00:44:11if there is a problem,
00:44:13then I think,
00:44:15that boy should also do this,
00:44:17if he wants to say something,
00:44:19or wants to scold his wife,
00:44:21you said this to my mother,
00:44:23or talked like this,
00:44:25then he should tell her alone,
00:44:27because if he talks to her alone,
00:44:29she will not feel so insulted,
00:44:31so she will listen to him,
00:44:33and if he wants to talk to his mother,
00:44:35or wants to say something,
00:44:37then he should talk to her alone,
00:44:39so that she also feels insulted,
00:44:41that daughter-in-law came and talked to me like this,
00:44:43so the role of a boy,
00:44:45is very important,
00:44:47one more important thing,
00:44:49often,
00:44:51mother-in-law is older than you,
00:44:53and if she says something to you,
00:44:55I have seen,
00:44:57girls respond to them equally,
00:44:59and if there is a fight,
00:45:01how much should you be quiet,
00:45:03how much should you speak,
00:45:05it is not possible,
00:45:07that you become quiet,
00:45:09or you get bulldozed,
00:45:11and it is also not possible,
00:45:13that she is older than you,
00:45:15obviously,
00:45:17the relation of respect is different,
00:45:19then she is older than you,
00:45:21so some girls tolerate a lot,
00:45:23and some girls do not tolerate at all,
00:45:25the middle thing,
00:45:27how much should it be,
00:45:29before this,
00:45:31I would like to ask you,
00:45:33what do you think,
00:45:35what should be the limit,
00:45:37I think, the elders should be ignored,
00:45:41they are sensible,
00:45:43girls have not come,
00:45:45or they have become old,
00:45:47they are still girls,
00:45:49they ignore their daughter's mistakes,
00:45:51or avoid them,
00:45:53or ignore them,
00:45:55that she has done it,
00:45:57do the same with daughters-in-law,
00:45:59it is not possible,
00:46:01that daughters-in-law will scold you,
00:46:03that why did you do like this,
00:46:05when you make them understand,
00:46:07I am sure they will understand,
00:46:09they will not be so blunt,
00:46:11but if you come to the same page,
00:46:13with them,
00:46:15then it is a fight,
00:46:17then the respect of elders and children is over,
00:46:19now a days,
00:46:21they are interested in teaching
00:46:23respect to elders,
00:46:25because the girls,
00:46:27have become more exposed,
00:46:29they have been shown the world,
00:46:31in our time,
00:46:33this was not there,
00:46:35social media and all,
00:46:37so if they answer,
00:46:39then you make them understand with love,
00:46:41or ignore them,
00:46:43I believe this,
00:46:45the more you confront them,
00:46:47the bigger the fight will be,
00:46:49then what happens,
00:46:51your son gets beaten,
00:46:53who is right and who is wrong,
00:46:55when you fight,
00:46:57the right and wrong ends,
00:46:59they come to the edge,
00:47:01that you misbehaved,
00:47:03so I answered with misbehavior,
00:47:05to the daughter-in-law,
00:47:07so the misbehavior adds,
00:47:09the motive also ends,
00:47:11why did you fight,
00:47:13what did you dislike,
00:47:15all this ends and
00:47:17everything is converted into a fight,
00:47:19then the son gets worried,
00:47:21you don't want to trouble your son,
00:47:23in any situation,
00:47:25you don't want to put your son in any situation,
00:47:27that you don't speak on his side,
00:47:29speak on my side,
00:47:31so what do mothers do in this,
00:47:33they sacrifice from day one,
00:47:35so in this also,
00:47:37compromise,
00:47:39mothers have to sacrifice to some extent,
00:47:41because they are mothers,
00:47:43that's why,
00:47:45you are right,
00:47:47in this,
00:47:49in this,
00:47:51whatever happened,
00:47:53everything escalates,
00:47:55that they said this to me,
00:47:57they misbehaved,
00:47:59so what we are thinking,
00:48:01that our focus,
00:48:03is on the problem,
00:48:05that this happened,
00:48:07they misbehaved,
00:48:09I answered with misbehavior,
00:48:11the reason,
00:48:13the fight,
00:48:15the clothes,
00:48:17that matter is over,
00:48:19but they misbehaved,
00:48:21so the focus is on the problem,
00:48:23not on the solution,
00:48:25that what happened,
00:48:27and second thing,
00:48:29as you said,
00:48:31girls either get suppressed,
00:48:33or quiet,
00:48:35so girls should also see,
00:48:37if they feel,
00:48:39that something has happened,
00:48:41then firmly,
00:48:43like they say to their mothers,
00:48:45they filter the speech,
00:48:47the problem is,
00:48:49that you are being filtered,
00:48:51you can easily say to them,
00:48:53that you said this,
00:48:55but I felt,
00:48:57that it shouldn't have happened,
00:48:59or I felt,
00:49:01that mother said something bad,
00:49:03or I didn't like what aunty said,
00:49:05you won't mind,
00:49:07but I don't like it,
00:49:09and if she feels,
00:49:11that she can't say to her mother in law,
00:49:13and this filtering speech,
00:49:15as you talk to your parents,
00:49:17you can't talk to your mother in law,
00:49:19you have to respect them,
00:49:21because they are there,
00:49:23you can't say to your husband,
00:49:25that your parents are annoying,
00:49:27your parents said this,
00:49:29you have to use your words carefully,
00:49:31you tell them,
00:49:33I respect your family,
00:49:35I like them,
00:49:37but I feel,
00:49:39that they didn't like what I said,
00:49:41can you please convey the message,
00:49:43or tell me,
00:49:45that how can I say,
00:49:47you have to respect your words,
00:49:49you can say it in your home,
00:49:51but you have to be careful,
00:49:53when you use your words,
00:49:55if you want to convey your message,
00:49:57you can't say it in simple Urdu,
00:49:59your vocabulary should be good,
00:50:01you have to use synonyms,
00:50:03which will sound better,
00:50:05exactly,
00:50:07but you have to convey your message,
00:50:09but you can say it very nicely,
00:50:11suppose,
00:50:13your mother in law is angry,
00:50:15you are thinking,
00:50:17she is not talking to me,
00:50:19girls are also quiet,
00:50:21but you have to communicate,
00:50:23you are young,
00:50:25you can go,
00:50:27what happened,
00:50:29if your mother in law is friendly,
00:50:31you can hug her,
00:50:33I used to do that,
00:50:35same here,
00:50:37if you hug her,
00:50:39you don't have to get the result,
00:50:41of that argument,
00:50:43sometimes,
00:50:45you don't have to find
00:50:47a solution for many things,
00:50:49same here,
00:50:51I used to fight with my husband,
00:50:53in small things,
00:50:55but it gets solved,
00:50:57because it is happening in your room,
00:50:59in front of everyone,
00:51:01but if you are not very physical,
00:51:03some people don't touch each other,
00:51:05you can ask them,
00:51:07why are you quiet,
00:51:09you can praise them,
00:51:11your husband,
00:51:13with whom you have to spend your life,
00:51:15she is his mother,
00:51:17you can say,
00:51:19you look good when you smile,
00:51:21you can say a few words,
00:51:23they will melt,
00:51:25but if you are rigid,
00:51:27you can say,
00:51:29I am busy here,
00:51:31there will be a gap,
00:51:33if you want to have a good relationship,
00:51:35you have to put in a lot of effort,
00:51:37if your daughter-in-law thinks,
00:51:39that she looks good in makeup,
00:51:41she can take out her mother-in-law's clothes,
00:51:43instead of her,
00:51:45she will take out her clothes,
00:51:47you wear this,
00:51:49but you should also look at your mother-in-law,
00:51:51if your daughter-in-law is putting in a lot of effort,
00:51:53you shouldn't go inside and sleep,
00:51:55you shouldn't show more tantrums,
00:51:57she is coming, let her come,
00:51:59because if,
00:52:01she is raising her hand,
00:52:03you should also come half way,
00:52:05both of you should come half way,
00:52:07and if you bring your daughter-in-law close to you,
00:52:09then your son will automatically come close to you,
00:52:11no one understands this,
00:52:13at the end of the day,
00:52:15mother-in-law, daughter-in-law,
00:52:17I have seen 90% families here,
00:52:19their mother-in-law's end is with their daughter-in-law,
00:52:21not with their daughters,
00:52:23if you think,
00:52:25that I give more importance to my daughter,
00:52:27and not to my daughter-in-law,
00:52:29then that is also wrong,
00:52:31now a days we are all educated,
00:52:33so it should be that,
00:52:35you should respect your daughter-in-law,
00:52:37that you know,
00:52:39at the end,
00:52:41my daughter may not be with me,
00:52:43now if I think,
00:52:45I am getting my son married,
00:52:47I should make my daughter-in-law so close to me,
00:52:49that when I die,
00:52:51she should remember me,
00:52:53a lot of daughters-in-law do this,
00:52:55a lot of daughters-in-law do this,
00:52:57when there is a discussion with people,
00:52:59they say,
00:53:01I miss my mother-in-law a lot,
00:53:03one important thing,
00:53:05girls are young at that time,
00:53:07when they get married,
00:53:09they are naive,
00:53:11they don't know,
00:53:13how much to talk to whom,
00:53:15everyone talks to their mother-in-law,
00:53:17how much to talk to your mother-in-law,
00:53:19new girls understand this,
00:53:21like she used to go to school,
00:53:23what happened in school,
00:53:25what happened with friends,
00:53:27she used to tell everything to her mother-in-law,
00:53:29she has developed this habit,
00:53:31from childhood till now,
00:53:33now how much she has to stop,
00:53:35to talk to her mother-in-law,
00:53:37this is a question for both of you,
00:53:39means to talk to your mother-in-law,
00:53:41yes,
00:53:43can she stop, what is the need,
00:53:45sometimes it happens,
00:53:47if you tell everything,
00:53:49don't tell everything about the house,
00:53:51husband, wife, mother-in-law,
00:53:53that's what I am saying,
00:53:55if she doesn't tell, it's better,
00:53:57because mother's point of view is different,
00:53:59to see her mother-in-law,
00:54:01daughter-in-law is different,
00:54:03son is different,
00:54:05if daughter says anything to her mother-in-law,
00:54:07mother can give any wrong advice,
00:54:09and in her mind,
00:54:11that advice is absolutely right,
00:54:13she is giving it after seeing her daughter,
00:54:15she has to live with her mother-in-law,
00:54:17mother-in-law's nature,
00:54:19daughter has understood it well,
00:54:21but mother couldn't understand it well,
00:54:23so she will give her point of view,
00:54:25some daughters filter it,
00:54:27mother has said,
00:54:29listen from one ear,
00:54:31but some daughters,
00:54:33most of the daughters,
00:54:35listen a lot to their mother,
00:54:37they say day is day, night is night,
00:54:39they are like this since childhood,
00:54:41no, mother should not interfere so much,
00:54:43you are in your house,
00:54:45see your house,
00:54:47whatever is happening there, solve it yourself,
00:54:49I don't have that much time,
00:54:51I have a lot of things to do,
00:54:53if she listens,
00:54:55she will tell as much as she listens,
00:54:57we don't know from which environment,
00:54:59what is the exposure,
00:55:01how educated the family is,
00:55:03but the girl should not share
00:55:05the things of her house with her mother,
00:55:07she should do the right thing,
00:55:09and whatever is happening in the house,
00:55:11she should solve it herself,
00:55:13or tell her husband,
00:55:15like Shumaila said,
00:55:17how to improve it,
00:55:19Shumaila, I will ask you,
00:55:21after a short break,
00:55:23keep your points ready,
00:55:25we will tune our girls,
00:55:27it won't be difficult,
00:55:29Inshallah, good morning,
00:55:37Welcome, welcome back,
00:55:39good morning Pakistan,
00:55:41such a lovely show,
00:55:43I wish I could,
00:55:45if I could meet you before marriage,
00:55:47it would have been so beneficial,
00:55:49the difficulties I faced in the beginning,
00:55:51I wouldn't have faced them,
00:55:53and I pray that the girls,
00:55:55who are about to come,
00:55:57don't face them as well,
00:55:59because when a girl is born,
00:56:01this is the first thing she is blessed with,
00:56:03and we are lucky,
00:56:05all parents take care of their kids,
00:56:07with love,
00:56:09but I have also seen,
00:56:11that sometimes,
00:56:13parents say,
00:56:15what good deeds we have done,
00:56:17that our daughter got such a house,
00:56:19that she is happily married,
00:56:21so,
00:56:23first impression is the last impression,
00:56:25we were talking,
00:56:27we will continue the same,
00:56:29to stop the interference of the mother,
00:56:31or to what extent the girl,
00:56:33should share things with her,
00:56:35I think the girl should not share,
00:56:37those things,
00:56:39which are controversial,
00:56:41if I give my own example,
00:56:43I got married,
00:56:45and I went to Saudi Arabia,
00:56:47phones were not available there,
00:56:49so I couldn't share much,
00:56:51secondly,
00:56:53my mother gets anxiety,
00:56:55the mother with anxiety,
00:56:57can also get sick,
00:56:59if you are sharing such things,
00:57:01and the same thing,
00:57:03as Seemi said,
00:57:05she can give you wrong advice,
00:57:07my daughter is married,
00:57:09I don't know,
00:57:11what is the situation,
00:57:13in her in-laws,
00:57:15she knows better,
00:57:17what is the situation there,
00:57:19she can handle it,
00:57:21so, mothers should not,
00:57:23over share,
00:57:25over sharing means,
00:57:27whatever they don't want to share,
00:57:29they are sharing,
00:57:31mother has gone into depression,
00:57:33because,
00:57:35sometimes,
00:57:37you have ruined,
00:57:39your parents house,
00:57:41they are also fighting,
00:57:43in their house,
00:57:45so, it is better,
00:57:47you solve it yourself,
00:57:49talk to your husband,
00:57:51and try to,
00:57:53calm him down,
00:57:55and I think,
00:57:57mothers should,
00:57:59think of it as their daughter,
00:58:01the problem is,
00:58:03we are 50-60 years old,
00:58:05and the girl is 25 years old,
00:58:07or 27 years old,
00:58:09or 30 years old,
00:58:11we say, we can do this,
00:58:13why can't she do this,
00:58:15she has just come,
00:58:17you tell her,
00:58:19this is not done,
00:58:21when we came for marriage,
00:58:23we did this,
00:58:25why can't she do this,
00:58:27we have 4 kids,
00:58:29why can't she do this,
00:58:31that comparison starts like this,
00:58:33she has come,
00:58:35and you are guiding her,
00:58:37in a mature way,
00:58:39be a mentor,
00:58:41not mom-in-law,
00:58:43they say monster-in-law,
00:58:45I call my son-in-law,
00:58:47monster-in-law,
00:58:49he is my sweetheart,
00:58:51my daughter,
00:58:53they are very happy,
00:58:55and they handle each other,
00:58:57in a good way,
00:58:59they smile at each other,
00:59:01you are my son-in-law,
00:59:03and my daughter,
00:59:05you keep a comfort zone,
00:59:07so that no one else,
00:59:09thinks, my mother-in-law is sitting,
00:59:11I don't want to say this,
00:59:13or I don't want to talk to her like this,
00:59:15you said a very good thing,
00:59:17because if you make your mother-in-law
00:59:19an air,
00:59:21then you can't cross it,
00:59:23your comfort level ends,
00:59:25then they can't be one,
00:59:27in one, the over sharing I said,
00:59:29I should have said this in the first segment,
00:59:31when we see the relations of girls,
00:59:33we over share everything,
00:59:35what happens is,
00:59:37you are sitting,
00:59:39I am talking to you,
00:59:41my back is aching,
00:59:43he is in our family,
00:59:45he was sick,
00:59:47they keep it in their mind,
00:59:49they say,
00:59:51we don't want to get married here,
00:59:53so you think very carefully,
00:59:55and over share these things,
00:59:57because people judge you,
00:59:59because you are not together,
01:00:01so they judge you,
01:00:03what is it, what is not,
01:00:05in your family,
01:00:07everyone is sick,
01:00:09every time a taunt is ready,
01:00:11your aunt is also sick,
01:00:13it becomes difficult for you,
01:00:15if you over share,
01:00:17it is obvious,
01:00:19when you are together,
01:00:21the responsibilities of the house,
01:00:23are equally shared,
01:00:25the henna on the hands,
01:00:27is also a part of the responsibilities,
01:00:29it is not a bed of roses,
01:00:31if you show it to the bride,
01:00:33it looks good,
01:00:35it is a fantasy world,
01:00:37you can do anything after marriage,
01:00:39but the burden of the responsibilities,
01:00:41comes on you,
01:00:43the things that get up late,
01:00:45at your mother's house,
01:00:47get over after marriage,
01:00:49how to start handling the responsibilities,
01:00:51how to start doing ads in the kitchen,
01:00:53all these things,
01:00:55should be done,
01:00:57with ease,
01:00:59I think,
01:01:01the mother-in-law should be told,
01:01:03what are her responsibilities,
01:01:05and what are the responsibilities of the mother-in-law,
01:01:07it is a joint family,
01:01:09the sisters-in-law are living together,
01:01:11the work should be divided among them,
01:01:13so that no one is burdened,
01:01:15or a daughter-in-law does not say,
01:01:17I have been told everything,
01:01:19I am looking after the house,
01:01:21so I think it is the responsibility of the mother-in-law,
01:01:23how to start,
01:01:25how a girl should start,
01:01:27in the kitchen,
01:01:29it depends on the girl,
01:01:31how friendly she is,
01:01:35how loving she is,
01:01:37or how caring she is,
01:01:39she has come to a new house,
01:01:41it is her mother-in-law's house,
01:01:43she has to tell her mother-in-law,
01:01:45she has to give her confidence,
01:01:47then she can take her life ahead,
01:01:49but before she comes,
01:01:51it is her mother-in-law's house,
01:01:53she knows what time the food is made,
01:01:55in our house,
01:01:57food is not made at night,
01:01:59food is made before 3 pm,
01:02:01people make food at night too,
01:02:03some things are made fresh,
01:02:05but mostly in the afternoon,
01:02:07our kitchen is off,
01:02:09who will tell the new girl,
01:02:11who has just come,
01:02:13maybe food is made in the evening,
01:02:15so these rules,
01:02:17will be told by the mother-in-law,
01:02:19responsibilities will be shared by the mother-in-law,
01:02:21so in the beginning,
01:02:23she will stand with her in the kitchen,
01:02:25I think, like Simi is saying,
01:02:27mother-in-law will tell her,
01:02:29this is your responsibility,
01:02:31but the girl has just come,
01:02:33let her enjoy for a few months,
01:02:352-3 months,
01:02:37this is not a matter of a few months,
01:02:39this is a matter of the future,
01:02:41my question is,
01:02:43how should she start,
01:02:45she will give input,
01:02:47like if there is a table,
01:02:49she will help,
01:02:51or she will make a salad,
01:02:53I know how to make a good salad,
01:02:55mother-in-law will see,
01:02:57that she is giving interest,
01:02:59small things,
01:03:01or if there is no maid at home,
01:03:03she will give her input,
01:03:05that I know how to make good kebabs,
01:03:07so mother, I will make kebabs today,
01:03:09so these are small things,
01:03:11in our house,
01:03:13when a bride comes,
01:03:15after a few days,
01:03:17she is asked to make sweets,
01:03:19like kheer,
01:03:21now whether she makes a poori or not,
01:03:23she is asked to make kheer,
01:03:25whether she makes it good or not,
01:03:27you praise her,
01:03:29she will be happy,
01:03:31if you ask her what she has made,
01:03:33she will never want to go to the kitchen,
01:03:35after that,
01:03:37if you make the girl do it,
01:03:39she is ready,
01:03:41even if the girl wants it,
01:03:43she will ask for help,
01:03:45then the work starts,
01:03:47you ask for help,
01:03:49ice has broken,
01:03:51one more thing,
01:03:53if she makes something bad,
01:03:55please praise her a lot,
01:03:57or if it is very salty,
01:03:59make it very tasty,
01:04:01if it was less salty,
01:04:03it would have been more tasty,
01:04:05the way girls should choose their words,
01:04:07in the same way,
01:04:09elders should also choose their words,
01:04:11you see,
01:04:13in most of the cases,
01:04:15in-laws are very friendly,
01:04:17although,
01:04:19they have seen the outside world,
01:04:21but still,
01:04:23they always have a soft hand,
01:04:25on the daughter-in-law,
01:04:27that they don't hurt her,
01:04:29otherwise,
01:04:31they have been strict in the house,
01:04:33that father shouldn't feel bad,
01:04:35father shouldn't feel bad,
01:04:37they keep their daughter-in-law,
01:04:39a little light,
01:04:41they praise her a lot,
01:04:43they should also do it,
01:04:45so that,
01:04:47her heart grows,
01:04:49if there is a situation,
01:04:51when there is a lot of work,
01:04:53you see,
01:04:55some daughters-in-law,
01:04:57make breakfast,
01:04:59how to handle it,
01:05:01you can talk to your husband,
01:05:03can we share the duties,
01:05:05I am feeling a little,
01:05:07because I am not used to it,
01:05:09I feel a little exhausted,
01:05:11so for a few days,
01:05:13can you help me around,
01:05:15husband will slap you,
01:05:17he will say,
01:05:19go to office,
01:05:21cook food,
01:05:23the problem is,
01:05:25here in Pakistan,
01:05:27there is everything,
01:05:29but in the whole world,
01:05:31if you see,
01:05:33here mostly,
01:05:35the burden is on the husband,
01:05:37he is doing extra jobs,
01:05:39so if in the kitchen,
01:05:41the responsibilities of the house,
01:05:43will be handled by the woman,
01:05:45then how will you run the house,
01:05:47that's very true,
01:05:49but if you say,
01:05:51the man should sit down,
01:05:53give him a glass of water,
01:05:55this is also not right,
01:05:57if we see,
01:05:59as a human,
01:06:01the husband should move,
01:06:03so that you can,
01:06:05sometimes husbands come and sit,
01:06:07first of all,
01:06:09all the responsibilities of the office,
01:06:11then they drive in the traffic,
01:06:13so that's why,
01:06:15when they come home,
01:06:17they become lazy,
01:06:19those who are running around,
01:06:21they become lazy,
01:06:23because I am living outside,
01:06:25I have taught my children,
01:06:27my son,
01:06:29when he wakes up,
01:06:31he will heat the food,
01:06:33if he has to give water to his father,
01:06:35he will give it to him,
01:06:37if I have said something to him,
01:06:39if I go back home,
01:06:41if I am very tired,
01:06:43he is working from home,
01:06:45but he will get up and do all the work,
01:06:47I always tell him to make his bed,
01:06:49and he makes my bed too,
01:06:51sometimes on Sundays,
01:06:53so this should happen,
01:06:55why are you so dependent,
01:06:57because,
01:06:59my mother has a bad habit,
01:07:01she doesn't teach her children,
01:07:03she teaches them,
01:07:05she sends them to the court,
01:07:07but they become dependent,
01:07:09if they go alone,
01:07:11they can't help themselves,
01:07:13they can't make their own bed,
01:07:15I have trained both of my sons,
01:07:17I have trained them well,
01:07:19I knew that both of them have to go out,
01:07:21the elder one went to study,
01:07:23but the younger one couldn't go,
01:07:25but they have a habit,
01:07:27earlier we used to boil water,
01:07:29then we used to fill the bottles,
01:07:31and keep them in the fridge,
01:07:33so one had to fill the water,
01:07:35and the other had to clear the table,
01:07:37with the maid,
01:07:39but she had to do her duties,
01:07:41how will he make tea,
01:07:43the maid is not there,
01:07:45at some point Nida came,
01:07:47my friend came,
01:07:49I am talking about 10 to 12 year old children,
01:07:51I am not talking about the elder ones,
01:07:53I am talking about the younger ones,
01:07:55and this should happen,
01:07:57you have trained them to go out,
01:07:59but if they start helping their wives,
01:08:01they start breathing like this,
01:08:03like they are helping their wife,
01:08:05but you see,
01:08:07they are life partners,
01:08:09if they help each other,
01:08:11their bonding will be better,
01:08:13women love it,
01:08:15when their husbands help them in the kitchen,
01:08:17this is a very romantic bond,
01:08:19I think,
01:08:21don't do it in the kitchen,
01:08:23make a cup of tea,
01:08:25the girl will be very happy,
01:08:27he is caring,
01:08:29there is no such system here,
01:08:31but there is a lot of bonding,
01:08:33there should be bonding,
01:08:35in my opinion,
01:08:37one more very important thing,
01:08:39I don't know,
01:08:41this is not a tradition in many houses,
01:08:43but it is still a tradition,
01:08:45I have to go to my mother's house,
01:08:47my husband will say,
01:08:49ask your mother-in-law,
01:08:51I don't know,
01:08:53which generation to follow,
01:08:55ask her, tell her,
01:08:57what should be her way,
01:08:59I think,
01:09:01we don't have a system to ask,
01:09:03I don't know if it is there,
01:09:05but mostly it is not there,
01:09:07if you tell her,
01:09:09it is a very good thing,
01:09:11I will not eat dinner at night,
01:09:13I am going to my mother's house,
01:09:15sometimes,
01:09:17in my father's house,
01:09:19there are three people,
01:09:21father, sister-in-law and brother,
01:09:23sometimes it happens,
01:09:25they go to their mother's house,
01:09:27and don't eat,
01:09:29father feels sad,
01:09:31that the food is wasted,
01:09:33tell them,
01:09:35I will not eat dinner at night,
01:09:37I will ask the cook to cook according to me,
01:09:39he says,
01:09:41there is a lot of risk,
01:09:43I also get angry with this,
01:09:45there is a lot of risk,
01:09:47why are you keeping it in the fridge,
01:09:49you need it fresh every day,
01:09:51when you are in a big house,
01:09:53you should tell them,
01:09:55it is a good thing,
01:09:57but I think,
01:09:59asking is not there anymore,
01:10:01asking means,
01:10:03you become so bound,
01:10:05if your parents are not at home,
01:10:07your mother-in-law is not at home,
01:10:09you are sitting to ask,
01:10:11but now we are so mature,
01:10:13I think,
01:10:15mother-in-laws also know,
01:10:17if they have a plan,
01:10:19tell them,
01:10:21they will tell you,
01:10:23they have set the plan,
01:10:25we have two people,
01:10:27we will eat quickly and go to sleep,
01:10:29what should be the way to tell them,
01:10:31I will eat dinner with my parents,
01:10:33something like this,
01:10:35today I had a conversation,
01:10:37someone was coming,
01:10:39my parents were sad,
01:10:41I asked them,
01:10:43today I will eat there,
01:10:45and I am coming back,
01:10:47tell them,
01:10:49I am coming today or not,
01:10:51but you know,
01:10:53you have to send your husband to office,
01:10:55you may be late,
01:10:57or we are taking the keys,
01:10:59small things like this,
01:11:01we may be late,
01:11:03I have the keys,
01:11:05when you share these things,
01:11:07the bonding becomes good,
01:11:09this is not,
01:11:11or you didn't tell them,
01:11:13you left the market,
01:11:15you went to your mother's house,
01:11:17you are living in a joint family,
01:11:19you can't afford this,
01:11:21if you are going to the market,
01:11:23send a voice message to your mother,
01:11:25you have to tell her,
01:11:27if you are shy,
01:11:29some girls are shy,
01:11:31you tell your husband,
01:11:33both of you stand up,
01:11:35and tell your parents,
01:11:37you are not shy,
01:11:39you are going,
01:11:41when you are newly married,
01:11:43you feel shy,
01:11:45so the same thing,
01:11:47husband's role is very important,
01:11:49his important role is,
01:11:51a bridge between
01:11:53mother and wife,
01:11:55and if the husband is weak,
01:11:57if he feels,
01:11:59I am scared of my mother,
01:12:01exactly,
01:12:03because your wife is your responsibility,
01:12:05if you don't
01:12:07support her,
01:12:09and your mother,
01:12:11who raised you,
01:12:13if you don't support her,
01:12:15then you can't do anything,
01:12:17so you have to have a firm personality,
01:12:19that no, she is my mother,
01:12:21you have to deal with her like this,
01:12:23she is my wife,
01:12:25please don't mind,
01:12:27you don't have to talk to her like that,
01:12:29talk to her like this,
01:12:31it's good that both sides are clear,
01:12:33we are taking a short break,
01:12:35after the break, keep watching Good Morning Pakistan,
01:12:45Welcome, welcome back,
01:12:47Good Morning Pakistan,
01:12:49we had set it like,
01:12:51now we will do dandiya,
01:12:53now we will put luddi,
01:12:55but this show is more important
01:12:57than dandiya and luddi,
01:12:59and because,
01:13:01after watching this show,
01:13:03after applying these things in my life,
01:13:05I got a little peace,
01:13:07just for the sake of Dua,
01:13:09please raise your hand,
01:13:11this will be our fees,
01:13:13now a lot of,
01:13:15a question,
01:13:17a lot of girls are housewives,
01:13:19they don't earn,
01:13:21they have never done a job,
01:13:23I think so,
01:13:25even now,
01:13:2775% men are earning in their homes,
01:13:29even now,
01:13:31awareness has come,
01:13:33girls are working professionally,
01:13:35but the girls,
01:13:37who used to take pocket money from their father,
01:13:39now after marriage,
01:13:41they will take pocket money from their husband,
01:13:43they will ask,
01:13:45now they are shy,
01:13:47they don't even ask,
01:13:49and there are things that you need,
01:13:51how long,
01:13:53a lot of girls,
01:13:55ask their father,
01:13:57what to do,
01:13:59how to take initiative,
01:14:01in this,
01:14:03it is very important for a son to be smart,
01:14:05that it was the first month,
01:14:07that he kept pocket money in his hand,
01:14:09a mother should make her son understand,
01:14:11that from the first month,
01:14:13you will give him pocket money,
01:14:15this is a mother's job,
01:14:17a son will not understand,
01:14:19these things,
01:14:21and he should know,
01:14:23that his necessities,
01:14:25his needs,
01:14:27how will he fulfill them,
01:14:29and girls should know,
01:14:31that when you get married,
01:14:33you will not take money from your father,
01:14:35because father will want to give,
01:14:37but maybe he is retired,
01:14:39maybe he doesn't have that much,
01:14:41and he has spent everything,
01:14:43that our Pakistanis,
01:14:45that we got married,
01:14:47and here,
01:14:49there is a lot of dowry,
01:14:51even if he doesn't have it,
01:14:53this is a lot of expenditure,
01:14:55so don't ask from him,
01:14:57ask your husband,
01:14:59that I want this,
01:15:01these are my basic needs,
01:15:03and if he is good,
01:15:05like they say,
01:15:07if a queen has raised him,
01:15:09then he will give you,
01:15:11other than your basic needs,
01:15:13but girls should also see,
01:15:15that how much he is earning,
01:15:17how much he should spend,
01:15:19or how much he should spend on himself,
01:15:21and it is good to save a little,
01:15:23sometimes,
01:15:25girls are naive,
01:15:27they are innocent,
01:15:29they don't take care of things,
01:15:31their mother has taken care of their things,
01:15:33now at the wedding,
01:15:35from in-laws,
01:15:37they get gold jewellery,
01:15:39bangles,
01:15:41the house is full,
01:15:43there are guests at the wedding,
01:15:45so the girl has a fear,
01:15:47and sometimes she gives her gold jewellery,
01:15:49that she is a responsible woman,
01:15:51she is taking care of everything,
01:15:53now what happens,
01:15:55she feels shy to ask again,
01:15:57she shouldn't ask,
01:15:59she should give it to her mother-in-law,
01:16:01I think,
01:16:03I am a very organized,
01:16:05and systematic person,
01:16:07not everyone can be like you,
01:16:09so I will say,
01:16:11she doesn't need to ask her husband,
01:16:13she should take care of her pocket money,
01:16:15because she is new,
01:16:17and after 2-3 days,
01:16:19when her locker is arranged,
01:16:21then you tell her,
01:16:23your locker is arranged,
01:16:25take your jewellery and keep it there,
01:16:27some mothers-in-law keep it in their own locker,
01:16:29what is a new locker,
01:16:31I think it is gone,
01:16:33now there are no such mothers-in-law,
01:16:35you think it is in a certain class,
01:16:37but it is middle class,
01:16:39still,
01:16:41more than relations,
01:16:43jewellery is given importance,
01:16:45then all the jewellery goes in the same locker,
01:16:47but if you feel like,
01:16:49you want that jewellery,
01:16:51you want to wear it for your new marriage,
01:16:53you want to wear it,
01:16:55then you can,
01:16:57filter your speech,
01:16:59say it with love,
01:17:01mom, I really wanted that set you made,
01:17:03nice,
01:17:05seriously,
01:17:07the set you made is so beautiful,
01:17:09I want to wear it and show it to everyone,
01:17:11that my mother-in-law's choice is so good,
01:17:13say it in a diplomatic way,
01:17:15with so much love,
01:17:17that they say wear it,
01:17:19good one,
01:17:21till the time you
01:17:23don't filter your speech,
01:17:25till the time you
01:17:27don't do it in a positive way,
01:17:29it is important to be diplomatic in life,
01:17:31don't look so blunt,
01:17:33now a days,
01:17:35this is a wrong trend,
01:17:37to be honest,
01:17:39by saying to be honest,
01:17:41you break each other's legs,
01:17:43seriously,
01:17:45you say, I am honest,
01:17:47I am saying the right thing,
01:17:49I am blunt, I say it on the face,
01:17:51by saying it on the face,
01:17:53you have broken the hearts of others,
01:17:55exactly,
01:17:57and they can't be joined,
01:17:59that's why you should
01:18:01keep your tongue so sweet,
01:18:03that you should be
01:18:05red on top and red on bottom,
01:18:07you have to do a little drama,
01:18:09I think this is not drama,
01:18:11if you,
01:18:13we are professionals,
01:18:15we have to change ourselves,
01:18:17when daughters-in-law come from one house to another,
01:18:19they also have to change,
01:18:21so you change with so much love,
01:18:23and be so sweet that everyone praises you,
01:18:25now see, if someone is unwell at home,
01:18:27oh,
01:18:29when mom and dad are at home,
01:18:31there is an army to make us angry,
01:18:33but when your in-laws
01:18:35are always unwell,
01:18:37and you have the responsibilities of the house,
01:18:39so,
01:18:41how do you reach them,
01:18:43you don't have the courage,
01:18:45you can't stand up,
01:18:47even when the daughters are unwell,
01:18:49they stand up,
01:18:51now call your husband,
01:18:53and tell your mother,
01:18:55I am very unwell,
01:18:57I can't go to the kitchen,
01:18:59mother and son should deal with each other,
01:19:01call from outside,
01:19:03exactly,
01:19:05it is important to convey the message,
01:19:07but,
01:19:09if you have to do it,
01:19:11you have to win your mother-in-law,
01:19:13you go,
01:19:15don't pull yourself,
01:19:17if you are unwell,
01:19:19you are falling down,
01:19:21it's okay,
01:19:23if you are unwell,
01:19:25sit on the chair,
01:19:27I will help you,
01:19:29it is important,
01:19:31in some families,
01:19:33you have to convey the message,
01:19:35I can't do it,
01:19:37sit on the chair,
01:19:39I will help you,
01:19:41when I am fine,
01:19:43I will help you,
01:19:45if the practice is too much,
01:19:47if I am unwell,
01:19:49it is like a lion,
01:19:51it doesn't matter,
01:19:53if I am unwell,
01:19:55I come for the morning show,
01:19:57if I can come for the morning show,
01:19:59my husband will say this,
01:20:01then you can't cook,
01:20:03so,
01:20:05you have to work,
01:20:07for the relations,
01:20:09you shouldn't take it lightly,
01:20:11you will have a good life,
01:20:13when you work for them,
01:20:15thank you so much,
01:20:17for teaching us so much,
01:20:19everyone is getting a lot of knowledge in today's show,
01:20:21that's what I am saying,
01:20:23this thing,
01:20:25your blood relation,
01:20:27instead of it,
01:20:29if you don't have a blood relation,
01:20:31then sometimes,
01:20:33what someone else says,
01:20:35can be very useful,
01:20:37so, this free knowledge,
01:20:39is for you,
01:20:41thank you so much,
01:20:43may God bless you,
01:20:45good morning Pakistan,
01:20:47and Khuda Hafiz,