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What if eurotrips were honest? Roger Horton investigates. Use code HONESTADS50 to get 50% OFF your first Factor box plus 20% off your next month of orders at https://bit.ly/3V5Xh9F


CAST:
Roger Horton: Jack Hunter
French: Michael Strauss
Inn Keeper: Britt Migs

Producer: Michael Strauss
Director: Michael Strauss
Director of Photography: Rob Menzer
Writer: Britt Migs
Editor: Gabrielle Williott
Sound : Maxwell DiPaolo
Camera Assistant: Rachel Mossberg
Audio Mixer: Gabrielle Williott

00:00 Factor Ad
01:12 If European Vacations were honest


#europe #backpacking #vacation

Category

😹
Fun
Transcript
00:00Nothing like enjoying homemade pasta while summering in Tuscany.
00:04Psyche!
00:04I'm not in Italy. I'm in a hot windowless studio.
00:07But I bet I had you fooled with this amazing pasta from Factor.
00:11So what that I don't get paid enough to summer outside of the tri-state area?
00:14I'm perfectly content eating my delicious pasta from Factor right here in the good ol' U.S. of A.
00:20Where we wear deodorant and put ice in our coffee.
00:23Instead of a transatlantic flight, I just pop this in the microwave for two minutes.
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00:34Like filet mignon, shrimp, truffle butter, broccolini, and asparagus.
00:39Man, just saying broccolini makes me feel like I'm in Italy.
00:42Without all the guys trying to show me their Statue of David, you know what I mean?
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00:52And they've got tons of options for you to choose from.
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01:01and 20% off your next month of orders.
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01:12Are you just dying to see this old church? Or maybe this old church? Or this old church?
01:18Bonjour, Guten Tag, and Buen Dia to all you travelers out there.
01:23I am Rosetto from Hort Trips International.
01:28And this summer, let us take you on a journey to one of the oldest and most expensive places in the world.
01:34And no, I am not talking about a night on my lap. I'm talking about Europe.
01:39Americans are flocking to Europe in record numbers.
01:42Trips to Europe increased by 55% in 2023, which is shocking because this shit ain't cheap.
01:50The average cost of a trip to Europe usually starts around $5,000.
01:54And that's without all the bells and whistles and croissants.
01:58Starting with your airfare, you'll be slumming it in coach next to a Frenchman who doesn't believe in Dior.
02:08You thought you might be able to get one of those nice sleeper chairs for the overnight flight?
02:12Yeah, that'll set you back anywhere from $2,500 to $25,000.
02:17I heard those rich pricks get meal service with real silverware utensils up there.
02:22Maybe if you're lucky, the smell of their beef bourguignon will waft back to steerage.
02:27Oh, I'm sorry, coach.
02:29As you nibble on a peanut like a squirrel for eight hours.
02:32But that's the flight. Once you get there, I'm sure you'll be able to find some reasonable accommodations.
02:38Ah, wrong.
02:40Most mid-range hotels start at around 150 euros.
02:44And when we say mid-range, well, you're probably used to chain hotels like Maryhorts or Horltons.
02:52In Europe, if you don't want a closet-sized room, maybe you should spring for the five-star.
02:58Or you could really save yourself some money if you stay in one of Europe's famous hostels.
03:03Hope you don't mind bunking and sharing a bathroom with ten smelly strangers.
03:08Usually a group of young, drunk students who'll keep you up late with one of their orgies.
03:13Causing you to miss your 10 a.m. tour of the insert old monument.
03:20Oh! Somebody was supposed to update that.
03:24Well, of course, if neither of these options excite you, you could always stay at a bed-and-breakfast
03:30run by the oldest, meanest lady you've ever met.
03:33You've been doing chores for me for so long that you forget what country you come from.
03:38But no matter where you stay, Hort Trips International has your itinerary jam-packed with excitement.
03:44You're going to see a lot of old churches, including this one, which isn't even complete yet.
03:49I mean, get a move on it, guys. Jeez!
03:52Yeah, and make sure you have a cardigan to cover up those salacious, voluptuous shoulders.
03:57By the way, I hope you weren't coming here to get in touch with your family heritage.
04:02Because your roots might be connected to the bad guys.
04:06Yeah, bad news. Uncle Christoph definitely fought on the wrong side.
04:12Oh, and don't forget about the museums.
04:16Oh, what glorious museums you'll visit.
04:19You'll pay 20 to 30 euros to look at old paintings.
04:23And good luck getting a peek at this stuck-up lady.
04:26Now, with your remaining two euros, maybe you can buy yourself a postcard
04:31or something to commemorate the trip.
04:33Oh, never mind. Looks like you just got got by one of Europe's famous pickpockets.
04:39European scam artists are exceptionally good at separating you from your money and valuables.
04:45And they lay in wait at the city's biggest attractions for unassuming dum-dum tourists.
04:50While you're admiring the Eiffel Tower or throwing a coin in the Trevi Fountain,
04:55they're busy lifting the last euro you have to your name.
04:58Oh, that's too bad.
05:01Hope you didn't plan on getting sympathy from the locals.
05:04They don't really love Americans.
05:06As soon as they hear that entitled little accent of yours, forget it.
05:10Ha, ha, ha. Stupid American.
05:13They think they are the best at everything.
05:16Well, they are not. They can't even eat snails.
05:19Aw, are you disappointed?
05:22Were you coming to Europe to find yourself in exactly one week
05:26because that's the only PTO you get from work?
05:29That's cute.
05:31But this ain't eat, pray, love, bitch.
05:33Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to use the, how you say, toilet.
05:39Which European attractions often charge for.
05:42Hey, buddy, can you lend me a euro?
05:44I've been Roger.

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