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LifestyleTranscript
00:00My name is Trish Michelle, born in Brooklyn and raised on Long Island.
00:14I am a single mom of two amazing boys, twins.
00:19I'm a child of immigrants, so I'm a first generation.
00:22My parents are from Haiti, they're Haitian.
00:24I speak the language, I eat the food, I don't really know how to cook it as well, but I'm
00:29getting there.
00:30It was interesting growing up in the suburbs of Long Island, in many spaces where I was
00:35the only black girl, trying to figure out my identity.
00:38I feel like it primed me for some of the challenges I went through.
00:42Growing up, no one in our family had cancer until my son, one of the twins, was diagnosed
00:48with a rare leukemia in 2014.
00:50That was the first experience with cancer, being his caregiver at the time.
00:55My son was just out of active treatment, right, like just finished coming out of the
01:00hospital and kind of resuming his life or trying to rebuild his life.
01:04I had a physical, and the doctor said, you're great, maybe a low iron, low vitamin D, but
01:10for the most part, you're good to go.
01:13But I had some sort of feeling that something was off, and I couldn't put my finger on it,
01:17like I like to say, until I literally put my finger on it and felt the lump.
01:21And so I circled back to my doctor, and I was met with such resistance that it was shocking
01:29to me and alarming that you can come to your doctor and voice a concern and be told it's
01:35not a big deal, or like, you were just here.
01:37I said, I understand I was just there, however I felt the lump.
01:41And they said, well, maybe it's your menstrual cycle, how about you just like come back in
01:46a month or two and see.
01:48And so I insisted on going back in.
01:50And he gave me a breast exam, which now I know better that it wasn't even a real breast
01:56exam.
01:57It was kind of like, all right, let me just do this thing, because since she's here.
02:01And he said, see, I told you, nothing.
02:04And so I put my hand over his, and I said, well, what about this?
02:09And he said, I mean, I guess, but again, how old are you, 36?
02:15I don't think you need anything.
02:16I think you're fine.
02:17And I insisted on a mammogram, my first mammogram.
02:20I remember sitting in that waiting room for that final diagnosis was so scary, was so
02:27isolating.
02:28I'm looking around and I'm like, is this going to be my life now?
02:33I wasn't told that day.
02:34I ended up having to get biopsies and what have you.
02:37And I was told by a tech that called me, wasn't even my doctor, oh, you know, you need to
02:43circle back.
02:44We think it's cancer.
02:45It was so hard.
02:47I'm fortunate and was fortunate that I had a great nuclear family, but I really didn't
02:52know how to share it with friends and other people, because some folks can't handle the
02:59heavy stuff and they just either shut down or disappear, they ghost.
03:03But just recognizing that, like, cancer can change your life in such a way.
03:08And I just wanted to get rid of it.
03:10So I chose an aggressive surgery for my double mastectomy.
03:14I chose a deep flap.
03:15On the operating table, they found out that it was a bigger cancer than they thought.
03:20And there was a second cancer that didn't come up in any imaging.
03:24So I was indeed stage three, not stage one.
03:28That really threw me for a loop.
03:30Cancer is very isolating.
03:31However, it's a very shared experience.
03:34So I had cancer, sure.
03:37But I had an oncologist, I had a primary care doctor, I had my parents, I had my kids, I
03:41had my network, I had my friends.
03:43So there's a level of performance.
03:45I need to let the folks that care about me know that I'm OK, even though if I'm not OK.
03:53Because they need to know that I'm improving, I'm feeling better.
03:56To keep them engaged, they want to have hope.
03:59Everyone needs support.
04:00That's what gets you through.
04:01I mean, after surgery, I literally could not stand straight.
04:04For like three weeks' time, I couldn't even button my buttons of my shirt.
04:08When you're in active treatment, getting to the end is like the goal, right?
04:13And so when I got through chemo and then radiation and got to ring that bell, it was like the
04:18night before the first day of school.
04:19I had my clothes laid out on the bed.
04:21I knew what I was going to wear that next day.
04:24I dressed to the nines.
04:26I rang that gong.
04:27My mama was there.
04:28The nurses, we all clapped.
04:30It was a glorious feeling.
04:31I felt like now I've had my near-death experience.
04:34It's my opportunity to live my best and most authentic life.
04:39And what I learned by going through it was honestly that I needed to take up space and
04:44use my voice.
04:45Like, I didn't go through all that just to live a humdrum, normal, quiet life and be
04:50a foot soldier.
04:51No.
04:52It was like, OK, now I'm living for me.
04:54When I was looking to see what would life as a cancer patient and a cancer survivor
04:58look like, I was not seeing representation.
05:00I was not seeing Black people, period, much less Black people in my age group.
05:05And so if I couldn't find representation, then maybe that was my opportunity to become
05:12the representation that I so needed.
05:14Again, when you think about, like, the darker moments or, like, the questions, this is where
05:18you need not just a network, but you need a community.
05:22And finding my breasties, both during that time and now, so many years later, has changed
05:29my life.
05:30I found the community when I was trying to navigate active treatment and post-active
05:36treatment.
05:37And I was putting myself out there on social media, building my own community, my own network
05:41within this larger breasty space, and then was invited to join leadership.
05:47And I am the chief community officer for the Breasties, a nonprofit that serves breast
05:52and gynecologic people impacted by cancer.
05:54We call it the worst club with the best members.
05:56I'm not looking to have the group grow, right?
05:59I want it to be, like, done with me.
06:01However, it's nice to know that this exists, should anyone get a diagnosis, so that they
06:07don't feel alone like I did in those early days.
06:10So it is difficult work, but I stay tapped in because there's such beauty in the sharing
06:16of the stories.
06:17The old school may think it's taboo to talk about that, but we should know better and
06:22not just talk about, like, what was the recipe in grandma's pie, but also, like, when grandma
06:28died, what did she die of?
06:30It's important to have those honest conversations and not treat it as taboo, because that will
06:36arm future generations to know their genetic history, not just their family tree.
06:42Happy birthday to you!
06:50I'm Trish Michelle, a breast cancer survivor, and I'm out here thriving.
06:58I'm out here thriving.
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