"This is much bigger than just my HIV status or my sexuality."
Brut spent an evening with Oliver Sim of the "The xx," as he prepared for his first solo show in the U.S. …
Brut spent an evening with Oliver Sim of the "The xx," as he prepared for his first solo show in the U.S. …
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00:00I've convinced myself this is the room where I'm going to find my future husband.
00:09And if I don't, there is no hope for me at all.
00:30I feel like breaking out into Empire State of Mind, being like a real basic tourist.
00:43This is like the most New York thing I've ever seen in my life.
00:48It feels amazing.
00:49New York always feels like there is something, in the best way, a little bit auspicious in
00:55the air, like something could happen.
00:59And it's nice, it's fun.
01:03I feel scary coming here on my own, like I always have Romy and Jamie with me.
01:09But it's good to feel scared.
01:24I'm having feelings that I didn't think I would be able to feel again.
01:27I remember the first time we came here as a band, and it was terrifying.
01:34But it was like that naivety and that unknown of that first record, I just didn't think
01:39I would feel again.
01:41And I'm coming here with my first solo record, I have no idea how this is going to go.
01:50But it's a nice feeling, as terrifying as it is.
01:57Hello!
02:03How long was your hair before the cut?
02:06Like, my fringe I could put in my mouth.
02:09Oh wow, okay.
02:11I just want to meet people.
02:13I want to know what kinds of people would come to my show.
02:18Because that's like the most immediate way of getting a reaction.
02:22Being in the studio and making records is quite like a slow burn, kind of like satisfaction.
02:28But seeing people's faces is the most immediate thing.
02:32So I think tonight is going to be fun, because it's not necessarily going to be my crowd.
02:38I've got to win people over, and I will try my hardest to do that.
02:46It's good, I feel a little bit like a serial killer.
02:49Kiss the hand.
02:53How do you feel?
02:55I feel good, I feel good.
02:57You're such a back bumble.
02:59I know, right?
03:00I've got mirrors behind me, so hopefully that is not wasted.
03:05Let's hear it for the back of the dress.
03:22It was easy in return.
03:25Oh, I'm hideous.
03:29Performing hideous for the first time was really terrifying, but also really liberating.
03:36And this is much bigger than just my HIV status, or my sexuality.
03:44I'm just feeling a lot more at peace with myself.
03:52Hello.
03:58Hello, how are you?
04:02My name is Oluwosin.
04:06I normally play the band called The X-X.
04:11But this is my first ever American solo show.
04:17Celebrating, and being proud, and being around queer people,
04:23and being able to be your own cheerleader, I think is fantastic.
04:27But almost what I've done on my record is the opposite of that.
04:30Because it's with the same destination, but it's...
04:33I've made a record about fear and shame, and some self-loathing.
04:38But I haven't written about those things to make myself feel like shit.
04:41It's kind of the opposite, I think.
04:43Celebrating yourself and being proud is wonderful,
04:46but also expressing some kind of self-loathing to kind of free yourself of it,
04:51also has some merit to it.
04:54And playing that show in Paris two nights ago was a lot of kind of freeing myself.
05:02Some of that shame.
05:04And I think tonight will be as well.
05:14Tomorrow I'm going to think about that show, and it's going to seem like a dream.
05:19I've realised I don't think I've ever played a show like that.
05:23But it was very fun. Very, very fun.
05:27And strange in a good way.