"Are you a girl?" Vikrant Massey opened up about the stereotypes behind "men don't cry".
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00:00You know, don't cry.
00:01Are you a girl?
00:01You cry like a girl.
00:02Maybe I must have said something like that
00:04to one of my friends,
00:05but now I know better.
00:06I know what to teach my son.
00:10Major chunks of our country
00:12still remain patriarchal.
00:14So as boys, young boys
00:16out there on the playing ground,
00:18we were told, you know, don't cry.
00:19Are you a girl?
00:20You cry like a girl.
00:22I mean, that was f***ed up, but
00:26to become a man or to become a boy,
00:29you're a young boy.
00:31And in my case, you know,
00:32to be a man
00:35who has actually shed those inhibitions
00:38and come into our own,
00:42to cry, to accept the fact that,
00:44yes, men also cry.
00:46It's absolutely fine.
00:47In fact, it is a strength
00:49and not a weakness.
00:50I think it's it's
00:52it's a wonderful journey.
00:53And I think men have always cried,
00:54but they cry in private.
00:56How most of them do.
00:58But now it's fine.
00:59I think especially in the urban setups
01:03in Mumbai or in
01:06in areas which are socioeconomically
01:09settled, you know, are not sort of
01:13making ends meet.
01:15I mean, they have come to this realization.
01:17For example, when
01:20Roger Federer retired
01:22to watch Nadal and Federer weep
01:26like the way they did
01:28or to watch Sachin Tendulkar weep
01:31when he won the World Cup.
01:33And when he retired, you know,
01:34whether it is sportsmen,
01:36whether it is, you know,
01:38some political figures
01:39who've been so aspirational
01:41all throughout your life
01:42to see that vulnerable part
01:45in them is so reassuring
01:46that it's fine.
01:47Yeah.
01:48You know, so what we would
01:50thought as kids, you know,
01:53and the people would just
01:55without when we were kids,
01:56you know, we were not taught better.
01:58So we would be like,
01:59Why are you crying? Are you a girl?
02:00You know, my friends who were my age
02:03or maybe I kind of
02:05maybe I must have said
02:06something like that
02:07to one of my friends
02:08when I was maybe eight, nine.
02:10But now I know better.
02:11I know what to teach my son.
02:13Yeah.
02:13You know, I won't hopefully
02:15make the same mistakes
02:18I did when I was younger.
02:19So, yeah, we are all learning.
02:21We are all sort of definitely
02:23moving towards a better tomorrow.
02:25As much as we are all.
02:27Pessimistic or cynics
02:29right now that the world is doomed.
02:33As I said, you know,
02:34as much as we are living
02:35in the age of information,
02:36unfortunately, we are also living
02:37in the age of misinformation
02:38that also is part cynicism.
02:41But largely, I think
02:42I think all of us collectively
02:44have done a good job.