TW: Distressing themes.
Young people in Central Delhi shared their stories of harassment and unwanted advances during a chat with Brut. They also talked about what needs to change in society…
Young people in Central Delhi shared their stories of harassment and unwanted advances during a chat with Brut. They also talked about what needs to change in society…
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00:00I have been molested in my home.
00:02Right now, I wish I would have told them in my early ages.
00:06So, I would have stopped earlier.
00:08They try to molest me and they try to just put hands and just things like that.
00:15So, what safety measures do you take before leaving the house?
00:18Try to dress etiquettely, I guess. Like, try to dress more modestly is what I think.
00:23Why so?
00:24Because whenever anything bad happens, right, they would just say,
00:28Oh, what was I supposed to wear?
00:29You should take some safety measures with you.
00:31Like, pepper spray is not only for girls, boys can also use it.
00:34Dear man, just don't be an a**.
00:36So, today, Brute is in Central Delhi.
00:38And we'll speak to some youngsters here to know if they have ever been molested
00:43or didn't feel safe at some point in their life.
00:45Is it okay if we record your answers?
00:47Yeah.
00:48So, have you ever been molested or you know, been in a situation that scared you for life?
00:53I have been molested in my home.
00:56Okay.
00:57So, could you, would you like to share?
01:02I was being molested since I don't even remember.
01:07When I was 16, I told my mother and then the things were stopped.
01:12Any woman or any other girls is having the same situation
01:17when it is about, you know, relatives or somebody else.
01:21Just speak up. Don't think too much.
01:25Whoever that person is, don't think, just speak up.
01:29The moment you will speak up, it will end.
01:32I had experienced it.
01:34I wish I would have said it in my early ages.
01:39So, maybe it would have stopped earlier.
01:41But the moment when I said it with courage, it stopped.
01:46Has it ever happened that you have been molested or you know, didn't feel safe at some point?
01:51Do you want to share?
01:53I was in my 6th or 7th class.
01:55I was coming for tuition.
01:57I was going to join the tuition.
01:59It was in the morning.
02:00So, some boys, they tried to molest me.
02:02And they tried to just put hands and just things like that.
02:08So, how did you deal with it, if I may ask?
02:11At that time, I didn't have the courage to deal with it.
02:13I was a kid.
02:15But if I had to deal with it or if I had to take some safety measures with me,
02:20like pepper spray is not only for girls.
02:22Boys can also use it.
02:23One of my most scariest situations where like just auto drivers would try to randomly have conversations.
02:28And you just pick it up really quickly.
02:30Oh, it's not safe.
02:31This is not the right vibe.
02:32What do you do then?
02:34We cannot really do anything.
02:36This is why I try to like travel with my friends or my family.
02:39And I try not to travel all alone, especially at nights.
02:41So, yeah, that's one of the things.
02:43Okay.
02:44So, what safety measures do you take before leaving the house?
02:49Before leaving the house?
02:50Oh, try to dress etiquettely, I guess.
02:55Like try to dress more modestly.
02:57Why so?
02:59Because whenever anything bad happens, right,
03:01they would just say,
03:03Oh, what should I have worn?
03:05That becomes like one of the most asked questions.
03:08What should I have worn?
03:09But then you see everybody's getting molested no matter what they're wearing, right?
03:13But then yeah, I try to dress moderately.
03:17I try to share my locations with the ones I feel safe with.
03:22It's either my sister or my dad or my friends.
03:24Whenever I'm going out, I'm just like,
03:26Okay, this is my location.
03:28If anything goes down, I'll keep on updating you.
03:30That's one of the most specific things that I do.
03:34A few months back, in the Chhatarpur area, there were lots of PG's and all.
03:38So, there at night, I and my friend were just coming back from Haldiram.
03:43So, we were followed by a guy,
03:45I think it was a Zomato bike.
03:47So, he followed us.
03:49And the Chhatarpur area is very dark and all.
03:52So, yeah, we were followed and then we ran.
03:54And then we hid in someone's parking.
03:56And then when he left,
03:58he was standing outside for a long time.
04:00When he left, then we left.
04:02So, what safety measures do you take before leaving the house?
04:04Dressing moderately and just taking care of the timing.
04:08And sharing locations.
04:10That's the best we can do.
04:13There was a situation where I was returning home
04:15from the metro station once.
04:17And this random guy stopped his car next to me.
04:22There was kind of a deserted road.
04:24And then he asked me the way to somewhere.
04:26Which was weird because the way he was asking me
04:28was in the opposite direction of where he was going.
04:30So, he did that.
04:32And then he asked me if I wanted to come along.
04:35He could drop me somewhere.
04:37And then he sort of insisted.
04:41I said, no, I can walk.
04:43My home was 300 meters from that place.
04:45So, he insisted to drop me.
04:47And then I just started walking.
04:49And I didn't look back.
04:51I started walking at a faster pace
04:53till I reached my house.
04:55So, yeah.
04:57Have you?
04:59I have, but I would like.
05:01I have, but
05:03I don't think I want to say that.
05:05That's okay.
05:07There were 2-3 situations.
05:09Would you like to share one of them?
05:11And what did you do?
05:13I was in 8th or 9th standard.
05:15I was a kid at that time.
05:17And there was a huge crowd in the metro.
05:19It was a shocking thing.
05:21And someone just grabbed my ass.
05:23And he was a middle-aged person.
05:25And he was a middle-aged person.
05:27And something weird happened.
05:29Something happened
05:31which I didn't understand.
05:33There was a crowd.
05:35I saw that uncle.
05:37Obviously, I could not do anything.
05:39I couldn't do anything.
05:41Then the crowd left.
05:43So...
05:45So, what safety measures
05:47do you take now?
05:49Paper spray.
05:51Have you ever been molested?
05:53Or didn't you feel safe anywhere?
05:55Or didn't you feel safe anywhere?
05:57No, nothing like that happened to me.
05:59But there is a fear
06:01when I go out at night.
06:03Or when I leave office late.
06:06So, when you go out,
06:08what safety measures do you take?
06:10After seeing so much,
06:12I don't want to go out.
06:14What should we do
06:16to make a healthy society
06:18where women feel safe?
06:20We are protecting ourselves
06:22to a very large extent.
06:24But we are not even safe in our own home.
06:26Then what we can do about ourselves?
06:28All we can do is just to educate the men.
06:30Parents should educate their sons
06:32that they should respect women.
06:34I think
06:36there should be awareness.
06:38People think
06:40they can get aware
06:42and men feel like they are superior to women.
06:44Some men
06:46still think that women shouldn't
06:48be exposed to
06:50domestic work.
06:52It shouldn't be like that.
06:54We should bring a change in mindset
06:56at the primary level
06:58in the education of children.
07:00Because patriarchy is nothing but
07:02it is consumed by both
07:04women and men.
07:06Both are consumed by patriarchy.
07:08So, if we want to bring a change in society,
07:10we need to bring changes
07:12at the pre-education level.
07:14From there, a child's growth starts
07:16and from there, patriarchy is fed.
07:18So, we need to bring a complete change
07:20at the societal level.
07:22Secondly, I don't think
07:24orthodox mindset can change.
07:26But we can bring a lot of changes
07:28at the primary level.
07:31What advice do you want to give to men or women in society?
07:33Dear men,
07:35I would really want to add
07:37that we are not wearing short clothes.
07:39If you don't look at us in that way,
07:41you won't do anything wrong.
07:43We don't have
07:45a problem in wearing short clothes.
07:47We feel comfortable in that clothes.
07:49It's not you who will be telling us
07:51what to wear and what not to wear.
07:53So, I would definitely say
07:55to change your mindset.
07:57You comment on us
07:59and obviously, it happens a lot in boys
08:01that if girls are wearing short clothes,
08:03then they are asking for it.
08:05If we are asking for it,
08:07we can just ask for it.
08:09We don't need to do anything.
08:11If we have to do something,
08:13we will personally come and ask for it.
08:15So, please change your small thinking
08:17that you are having, this orthodox thinking.
08:19Dear women,
08:21you are strong, you are stronger
08:23than the men around there.
08:25Please do share about whatever
08:27you are doing in your life so that people
08:29who are responsible can come up
08:31and take action about it.
08:33Dear men, just don't be assholes.
08:35Dear men,
08:37we don't need protection.
08:39Just look at us equally.
08:41That's enough for us.
08:43You have sisters, mothers and friends.
08:45You should look at others
08:47in a good way.
08:49You should respect women.
08:51It's not like if she is not my friend,
08:53then you should tease her
08:55or say something like that.
08:57As a man, we should think
08:59that if we are doing this
09:01with someone,
09:03then it can happen with our relatives too.
09:05Men, change yourself.