BIG Men with BIG chests and BIG muscles!
Bumpin' Meat, BIG Meaty men 'slappin' meat!
Bumpin' Meat, BIG Meaty men 'slappin' meat!
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00:00I love big men slapping man meat, now out of context that sounds like a very different
00:05video but when you bring in the information it just gets you so damn excited.
00:10Because these are just two massive guys smashing into each other, and who doesn't want to get
00:14behind that?
00:15And given that man meat wrestling has kind of climbed back up to the tippity top, let's
00:19run down the 10 man meatiest wrestlers in history.
00:23What the flub are we doing, I'm a 10 big E.
00:26So even if he wasn't worthy of this list, but he absolutely is, I would still find a
00:29way to get Big E in here, because of course it was he that started talking about man meat.
00:34He dropped this wisdom bomb when he was doing the Much Missed New Day podcast, as he told
00:38Kofi Kingston and Xavier Woods, you can take your 5 star classics and your flippy dippy
00:43doodah matches, I just want to see two big meaty men slapping meat.
00:48He even talked about big chests and big muscles being his favourite thing, which is why it
00:51should come as no surprise that if Big E could pick his dream match, he would pick none other
00:56than Da-da-da-da Goldberg.
00:58So my word do I need that in my life, and maybe one day we will get it, and I do kind
01:02of understand where he was coming from here, because Vince McMahon had been so obsessed
01:06with this back in the day, we kind of ruined this concept, and Big E was like, nah, let's
01:11bring it back.
01:12He was right.
01:13Long may this continue as well, because look, I want all stars of wrestling, but I definitely
01:18want this one.
01:19I mean, it's just such a damn treat.
01:219.
01:22Yokozuna
01:23Yokozuna does not get the praise that he deserves, because so many people look at him today and
01:28kind of just write him off.
01:29I'm like, what are you doing, bro?
01:31He is one of the damn best big men in history.
01:33I mean, Yoko was able to move like a man half his size, and this ties into the Vince McMahon
01:37thing again.
01:38So many goobers are like, man, we made Zunes WWF champion.
01:42I'm like, yes, we did.
01:43Go and watch any of his matches.
01:45A lot of it doesn't make any sense, because he was just built differently.
01:48While it was kind of amusing that he was built from Japan, even though he was Samoan, he
01:53also had dudes like The Undertaker watch him and go to the boss and say, listen, bro,
01:58I need to work that guy.
02:00We can make magic.
02:01So he was just one hell of a big meaty man, and that Bonsai drop would absolutely ruin
02:05people.
02:06Very sadly, Rodney Anawaye did pass away way too soon, and he's been missed ever since.
02:118.
02:12Rusev
02:13Oh, Miro, you can pick your poison, but if you've watched any of my videos, you know
02:16I love this guy.
02:17And why?
02:18Because he slaps me.
02:19Now, as ever, there is more to this, because Miro is hilarious.
02:22Do you remember when we had that feud between him and Lana and Dolph Ziggler and Samurai?
02:27That was not the best executed thing, but Rusev, as he was back then, was so damn funny,
02:32he went out of his way to make it work.
02:34He kind of transcends all of this, too, because if you do go back to that era, he has more
02:38man meat than he has now, because he decided, nah, brah, I'm going to get all lean and all
02:43jacked.
02:44So now he represents the two spectrums of man meatiness.
02:47Watch.
02:48Miro also just has this aura that when he does arrive, you know he's going to flub somebody
02:52up.
02:53And don't forget, at All Out 2023, every single fan knew this, and basically put him on the
02:59meaty throne, because everybody kept chanting meat, and they weren't talking about the guy
03:03from WCW.
03:04The man can also play old school heel and wonderful new age baby face, so he just has
03:09it all in his tank.
03:10The only real issue is I don't see him on TV enough, but I will keep everything crossed.
03:15Number 7, Umaga.
03:16So honestly, this is another dude that people just don't get, or I kind of understand it.
03:21Because if you don't know the context, you just look at Umaga, and you go, well, clearly,
03:25this is just more WWE nonsense.
03:27Let's just take one of the three minute warning guides, we'll paint his face, and we'll turn
03:31him into a savage.
03:32And I bet when we were coming up with this, it was just a little bit offensive.
03:36The thing is, though, Edward Fatu didn't care, and he saw this as a massive opportunity,
03:41so he dove in with two feet, and he became such a man monster, before long, he was main
03:47eventing damn pay-per-views against John Cena.
03:49He was also known as the Samoan Bulldozer, which absolutely tied into his character,
03:54and even when he was taking on Big Match John, Cena would have to kind of fluke to get the
03:58one, two, three, or you'd be sitting there going, oh my gosh, I think Umaga could win.
04:03And he never did, but he got in your head.
04:04So his legacy definitely remains, and it's just the best example of giving yourself,
04:09no matter what the gimmick, eventually, you'll probably start to see things pay off.
04:13I mean, people genuinely feared this dude by the end, and very sadly, he was another
04:17guy that passed away way too soon, but go and honor his memory by watching one of his
04:22matches today, and I bet you have a good time.
04:25Number six, Akeem.
04:26So this was a dumb gimmick, and probably most definitely was just taking shots at Dusty
04:30Rhodes.
04:31What a waste of time.
04:32I'm sure the one-man gang must have been absolutely astounded when he was told this, but again,
04:37it kind of ties into the last entry.
04:39Because even though Vince McMahon also made him dance, my gosh, when the bell did go ding,
04:43ding, ding, Akeem was like, well, I know what I'm able to do, I know what I'm capable of,
04:47and he would just run through falls.
04:49The real smart choice is that we paired him up with the big boss man, Ray Traylor, another
04:53guy that could just move around the ring, even though he was massive.
04:56And when the pair of them get going, well, you know the deal.
05:00It was big men slapping man meat, but you were totally mesmerized by it.
05:03As he did get this new gimmick too, McMahon was desperate to push him, meaning he was
05:07able to destroy other wrestlers, and this was the era when all of our sports entertainers
05:12were massive, so at the end of the day, everybody just respected the hell out of Akeem, kind of.
05:17The only real downfall, again, was this humorous side, because if you had created him in 2023
05:22and done it right, he probably would have been a damn champion.
05:25He also served very well given the era he was in there, because without wanting to tread
05:28on too many toes, Akeem just looked like a giant as opposed to a chemically enhanced monster.
05:35I mean, really, he was just happy to get deep down in the mud and smash it.
05:39I love it.
05:395. The Natural Disasters
05:41So what keeps me up at night sometimes is that if you watch wrestling at the wrong time,
05:45you will think that John Tenter was nothing more than Shark in WCW,
05:50and that Fred Ottman was nothing more than the Shockmaster.
05:54That ain't fair.
05:54This is because their proper run came as Earthquake and Typhoon, the Natural Disasters,
05:59and even though they were once enemies, they then came together,
06:02I'm just going to say it straight, became one of the best tag teams nobody talks about anymore.
06:06They terrified the fans to such a degree, soon they were being booked against Hulk Hogan,
06:10and once again, you had dudes going, well, look, there's no way Earthquake
06:14is going to get the three, but what if he does?
06:16Honestly, I feel like before long in the WWF, they were on the same level as the Legion of Doom,
06:21and because they were so good at what they did, they became mega popular,
06:24they went babyface, and they became the tag team champions.
06:28Yes.
06:29When you do go through the history books, this run was actually pretty short,
06:32but doesn't that just sum it up?
06:34They maximised their minutes, we shall remember them forever,
06:38as the Natural Disasters, as well as those two stupid other gimmicks.
06:42Number four, Braun Strowman.
06:43So go back to WrestleMania, where Braun Strowman did team up with Ricochet,
06:46and they had that excellent tag team match, and this was just a very good example of how
06:51to go crazy with man meat while also having a little and large tag team.
06:55Because you needed both guys to play their roles perfectly,
06:58and when you do go through it, that's essentially what Braun has been doing since day one.
07:02Because he was so large, he barely spent any time in NXT, when he had his Wyatt family run,
07:06when he was put in a feud with Roman Reigns,
07:09and he spent 75% of the time flipping mother-flopping vehicles.
07:14I mean, why wouldn't he do that?
07:15And Strowman is so over the top in this character, these days,
07:19he would even go outside the ring, pretend he is quite literally a train,
07:23and run people over.
07:24And that shouldn't work, but again, he's committed, it does.
07:27I mean, down the line, if he was going to go mega bad guy again,
07:30he would just be the perfect foil for somebody like Cody Rhodes.
07:33How will he overcome these insurmountable odds?
07:36And then he will.
07:37So, surprisingly too, his release from the company in 2021 actually did him the world of good,
07:42because when he did come back the following year, well, he just felt better than ever.
07:46Long may this continue, because again,
07:48if you haven't understood what this list is all about, I am supporting man meat.
07:52Number 3, Bam Bam Bigelow.
07:54I'll tell you who was the man back in the day too, this guy.
07:57Now, such was the impressive nature of Bam Bam Bigelow,
08:00Paul Heyman built an entire show around him,
08:02and you are never going to be able to understand this unless you were around at the time.
08:06Because despite being huge, he was doing moonsaults and cartwheels,
08:10and he just looked so damn good, to the point you were like, this person can't be real.
08:15And he always had this aura to him though,
08:16where it felt like he could rip your heart out and watch you die.
08:19And why do you think Bam Bam was putting that WrestleMania 11 event against Lawrence Taylor?
08:24It's because they knew the NFL player needed all the help he could get,
08:27and Bigelow was the man to do it.
08:29I mean, go and read all the stories around that match too,
08:31my word he had his work cut out for him.
08:33But he also smashed it in ECW, and basically everywhere he showed up.
08:38It's another sad tale, because he did pass away way too soon,
08:42but if you were talking about all time big men, you gotta talk about Bam Bam Bigelow.
08:47Number 2, Vader.
08:48Or, you may pick this guy instead.
08:50I mean, following a very similar path to Bigelow,
08:53Vader just went everywhere and totally smashed it.
08:56And he too was doing moonsaults and just moving around the ring like a butterfly.
09:01And you'd watch him and be like, well, someone better explain this to me.
09:04It's like eating tomatoes and chocolate.
09:06Nobody should be doing it.
09:07His first success came over in Japan too, where he was presented like a right killer.
09:12Seriously, go and watch this today.
09:13He turns up, he faces Antonio Inoki, who never loses, and he beats him in seconds.
09:20And survey the crowd after this, they actually can't believe it.
09:23He was also so easy to buy into, mostly because he did potato people a lot of the time.
09:27And the only really sad tale is that when he went to WWF after loads of success,
09:32they treated him terribly and even had him come out on TV once and go,
09:36nothing more than a fat piece of shit.
09:38That's the point.
09:39It's what we wanted.
09:40Now I'm going to assume it's because this gimmick was successful elsewhere before he
09:43did get to the World Wrestling Federation.
09:45And again, you know the deal.
09:46For some reason, Vince McMahon always had a problem with that.
09:49Still, be it in WCW or New Japan, Vader just went everywhere and racked up multiple world
09:55title wins.
09:56One of the best, mightiest, meatiest men ever.
09:58Number one, Mark Henry.
10:00Which brings us to number one.
10:02That's right.
10:02Not enough is said about how easily Mark Henry was able to throw giants around.
10:07And The Undertaker even tells a story when they were on a tour bus and there was another
10:11vehicle blocking their path.
10:13So Mark just got out of the thing and he moved it with his bare hands.
10:17Now, I'm sure there's some exaggeration to that, but just go and do some reading on the
10:21internet.
10:21There are many a tale like this.
10:23Mark Henry was so damn strong.
10:26I mean, he was the world's strongest man.
10:27It's fair to say it took a while before it all clicked.
10:30But when he did do that fake retirement in 2013 and then went to beat John Cena for the
10:35World Heavyweight Championship, he never looked back.
10:37He went on that Hall of Pain run.
10:40Yeah, he totally made a name for himself.
10:41We always made sure that he did these feats of strength on TV too.
10:45And that, no, we haven't gimmicked this.
10:47And if you need more proof, go and watch his matches with The Big Show.
10:51He picks Paul White up like he's a child.
10:54I did my research.
10:55He ain't no kid.
10:55It's why when he jumped to AEW in 2021, most people were just happy for him.
11:00And he does continue to tease one last match.
11:03So I would do Mark Henry versus Powerhouse Will Hobbs.
11:07And then we can all sit down and look to the skies and cry out, well, that was one hell
11:12of a big man slapping man meat match.
11:15And in case you hadn't figured it out, I really like big men slapping man meat.
11:19And big women slapping women meat.
11:21Just some form of wrestler slapping some meat.
11:24That's what wakes me up in the morning.
11:26Is that a weird thing to say?
11:27Yes, it is.
11:28Goodbye.