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00:00Hi, I'm Jack. This was me in 2013, a closeted mummy's boy with a newly dead dad and a crap home.
00:07This is my mum Peggy.
00:10She's like a cross between Gwen from Gavin and Stacey and Pam from Gavin and Stacey.
00:16Shannon's gonna put dad's weed grinders in his coffin, so he'll always be high up in the sky.
00:21When I got into uni, it was a big deal.
00:23Welcome to the best three years of your life, and that's just for your mum.
00:26And that's where I met Danny.
00:28Yes, lad! You got the beers in?
00:30What's the P.O.A. for tonight, fresher?
00:32He looks like a take-me-out contestant.
00:34Little bit of barbeque mix.
00:36I'll keep my light on for him.
00:39Allies, aka moi.
00:41I'm a flipping ally llama.
00:43Where you going, fresher?
00:44Jack, are you crying?
00:45No.
00:46Take a deep breath.
00:48And this love.
00:49I'm messaging Leo. He wants me to come round his for fun.
00:52I'm just nervous in case.
00:54Turns out to be a mojo.
00:55What would Yemi do?
00:56It's easy.
00:57Load a pig, choose a tribe, never give out your bank detail.
00:59Run!
01:00My pills are stopping me from getting the old Jehovah's Stiffness.
01:05You all right?
01:06No, not really.
01:07You've got your whole life ahead of you.
01:09To live it.
01:11Two drunks on poppers!
01:12What?
01:13To have a laugh.
01:14What a wonderful...
01:15Danny, are you buying drugs?
01:17No! Leave it out. Well, yeah, I am, actually.
01:19With some nice girls.
01:21So one day, you'll fall in love.
01:24Are you OK?
01:25I just felt something wet hit my back.
01:27Jack's got something he wants to tell you, babe.
01:29Well, what is it?
01:30Come here.