CARLA and Erik have spent their 10-year relationship – seven of which they’ve been married – living separately. Erik is serving a 13-year prison sentence and the couple met a year into his incarceration. Out of their decade-long relationship, Carla estimates she and her husband have spent approximately 50 days together. Carla’s family were worried to learn she was not only dating someone in prison but someone convicted of a violent crime. Erik’s 13-year sentence is for attempted murder. Erik is released later this year and the couple are preparing to go from 15-minute daily phone calls and love letters to living together 24/7.
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00:00This is Carla. I'm telling you, this house is crazy.
00:04She fell in love with...
00:06Eric.
00:09When I tell people that I'm married to somebody that's in prison,
00:12they think, like, oh, what did he do? Did he kill somebody?
00:14And I'm just like, no.
00:17Close to that, but...
00:18Eric is currently serving a 13-year prison sentence
00:22for attempted murder.
00:24When I found out about all, like, the crimes he's done,
00:27I'm just like, you are the craziest.
00:30That's what I said.
00:31And when these two got together,
00:33there were many that didn't approve the match.
00:35When we first started talking,
00:37my family was not OK with me dating him.
00:39Her brother had told me that she's dating some guy in prison.
00:43I was like, oh, my gosh, that's crazy.
00:45With Eric's release on the horizon,
00:48will their relationship finally get the acceptance they long for?
00:51She married this guy and he's in there for something violent.
00:55It does scare me a little bit.
01:03So I have a lot of his stuff that he has sent me over the years.
01:08I have some drawings.
01:10So he did this one probably before we got married, so, like, 2012, 11.
01:17This card, he put Eric and Carla.
01:20I am married to an incarcerated man
01:22that is serving 13 years for attempted murder.
01:25He was a part of a gang when he was younger.
01:28We met while he was already serving his time.
01:30He was one year into his sentence.
01:32It's not every day you meet the love of your life
01:34and they're locked up in prison.
01:36But for Carla and Eric, romance blossomed while he was behind bars.
01:41He contacted his friend, which was dating my cousin,
01:45and she asked me if I would talk to somebody.
01:47And then she told me he was incarcerated, so I told her no.
01:51She got me to write him, and then the rest is history.
01:57As a criminal, people think, like, he's just, like,
02:00wanting to beat up people and, like, do stuff to people.
02:03And I'm like, he has feelings, he gets sad, he gets emotional.
02:06If he was a hardcore, crazy person,
02:09he wouldn't be sending all these little lovey-dovey stuff.
02:13These are all the letters from 2010, 12, 13.
02:21So this just says, like, I love you with all my heart, princess.
02:25You are the most beautiful thing that has ever happened in my life.
02:30I never pictured myself in a relationship with an inmate.
02:34There's nobody in my family that has ever been to prison.
02:37I had my doubts, cos you never know.
02:39So I still think about it, it's in the back of my head.
02:42I don't just live, like, a fairytale world where I'm like, ah, I'm in love.
02:46The couple have been together for ten years,
02:48and Eric is serving a 13-year sentence.
02:51These are some of the pictures that I have of me and him.
02:55These are all just contact visits, just regular visits.
02:58The couple's entire relationship has been while Eric has been in prison.
03:03Even their wedding day happened in jail.
03:06This is a very special picture for me.
03:09The day we got married, my parents didn't go,
03:11so I only had my cousin there with me.
03:13Carla's mother did not approve of the marriage,
03:16but despite that, the pair went ahead and tied the knot.
03:20My mum was not OK with it.
03:22Obviously, she wanted me to wait until he got out to marry him.
03:25That didn't happen.
03:27So they were not OK.
03:29My mum didn't talk to me for, like, a month when I got married.
03:32But then she got over it, I guess, and she's OK with it now.
03:37Carla has found being married to an incarcerated man
03:40brings a lot of snap judgments about her choice of husband.
03:44When I tell people that I am married to somebody that's in prison,
03:47you know, they think, like, oh, he's a criminal,
03:49what did he do, did he kill somebody?
03:51And I'm just like, no, close to that.
03:54But, you know, that doesn't define him as a person to me.
03:59And it's not just the judgment that's difficult.
04:01There are many physical difficulties
04:03that come when one half of the couple is behind bars.
04:07So not being able to go out on a real date with my husband
04:10So not being able to go out on a real date with my husband
04:13it sucks because, obviously, you go out
04:16and you see all these couples out there just walking around
04:19and living their lives, and, you know, I just...
04:23look forward for my one phone call.
04:34Yeah, this new prison is so stupid.
04:38If something happens, there's a lockdown, there's a fight,
04:40then there's no phone calls.
04:43This is why I don't wait.
04:47Because then I get mad.
04:53Like, you could be in prison, but if you tell me a certain time,
04:57you call me at that time.
05:00You know?
05:01Like, I also have things to do out here.
05:08PHONE RINGS
05:19Hey.
05:22Nothing, just sitting down.
05:24What are you doing?
05:33What?
05:38Not one, two jobs.
05:39OK, so are they going to pay you?
05:43How much?
05:49OK, don't fuck up nobody's hair.
05:51The phone calls, we get 15 minutes if we're lucky.
05:54It's very annoying because, you know, there's so many things
05:57I want to tell him, but then I can't.
06:00Because those 15 minutes go by really fast.
06:03I miss him all the time, you know.
06:04What do you want to do the first day you get out?
06:06What do you want to do?
06:07You haven't told me.
06:13Where are you going to take me?
06:14I don't want McDonald's.
06:19That'd be nice.
06:20Do you feel, like, scared, though, or no?
06:33Love you.
06:35All right.
06:38Like, now that he's there and he's going to get out,
06:40like, his answers are so much...
06:44..like, clearer, if that makes sense.
06:46Like, um...
06:48He gives you, like, a forward answer.
06:50Sometimes he'll be like, I don't know yet, I don't know.
06:52And then now I think, cos he's so close to coming home,
06:54he's just, like, A, B, C, D.
06:56And I'm like, whoa.
06:59Society, people think because you're married to somebody in prison,
07:02they think you're like that too.
07:04Her brother had told me that she's dating some guy in prison,
07:08and then it wasn't probably till, like, a year later
07:10I actually found out that they were married,
07:12and I was like, oh, my gosh, that's crazy.
07:14Like, I don't know anybody who would marry a guy in prison.
07:18It was a huge shock and surprise to me.
07:20I was like, how are you going to wait that long, you know?
07:23And here we are, seven years later,
07:25and he's about to get out in a couple of months.
07:28I mean, you marry...
07:30She married this guy, and he's in there for something violent.
07:35It does scare me a little bit,
07:37but he does seem like he has changed,
07:40and I hope he does good and stays out of trouble.
07:44Happily for Eric and Carla, his release date is approaching,
07:47and they are now looking forward to finally being united
07:50outside of prison walls.
07:52Personally, I'm not scared when my husband gets out.
07:55I've thought about it a lot.
07:57I think he might actually be a little bit more scared of me.
08:00Hello.
08:01Hi, Alyssa.
08:04Carla told me about her relationship.
08:06I remember the first time that you told me that he was locked up.
08:10I went to work, and I was like, Alyssa, Eric got locked up.
08:15And I was like, oh, my God, why?
08:18She was, like, very shocked.
08:20I was so shocked.
08:21I was so shocked.
08:22And then when I found out the reason that he had gotten locked up,
08:27I was even more surprised.
08:30Four months. Are you excited?
08:32Obviously, he's been in there for almost 13 years,
08:36and he has missed out a lot.
08:38He's missed out his whole 20s.
08:41Like, the funnest years.
08:43Like, drinking, partying, being able to go to the club.
08:45Just everything.
08:47He doesn't even probably know what, like, a touchscreen phone is.
08:49He's not going to know what apps are.
08:51That's true.
08:52What are you guys going to do first?
08:54He's never been to Disneyland, so we plan on going to Disneyland.
08:58Like, he's never been there.
09:00What would happen if he was to go back into prison?
09:02Bye, bitches.
09:03Yeah?
09:04I would literally be like, bye, bitches.
09:06You guys get one phone call a day now.
09:09You're going to be around each other 24-7.
09:11Do you feel like you're going to have, like, things, like,
09:13run out of things to talk about, or, like,
09:16Are you nervous to actually have him around all the time?
09:19No.
09:20I don't think I'm going to be nervous.
09:22I'm just excited for everyone else to meet him, too.
09:24Like, you guys get to meet him.
09:26I know.
09:27I feel like he's been a part of the family just as long as I have,
09:29but we've never met, so it'll be exciting to meet him.
09:33Well, she's happy with him, so why would I go and say, like,
09:37don't be with him just because he is, you know, in prison?
09:40That's her decision.
09:44I feel like they have a lot of love for each other.
09:47I think their relationship, when he gets out
09:50and they're finally together,
09:52I think it's going to be even stronger.
09:56Despite having spent almost all of their relationship apart,
10:00with just a few months to go before he gets out,
10:03Carla and Eric have a lot to look forward to.
10:06You had a good day today. You sound really happy.
10:08Very positive.
10:10Because she made me feel like that.
10:12Who?
10:13You, babe.
10:14We're going to try to live a normal life.
10:16That's what we want, and that's what we plan on doing.
10:19I cannot wait to just, like, hold his hand and walk down the street.
10:23Just walk down the street with him.
10:25That's going to be fun.
10:39I love you.
10:40I love you too.