• 14 hours ago
In this episode, I explore the complexities of subconscious influence in our lives, motivated by a listener’s unsettling experience with a car crash. I discuss the possibility of our subconscious leading us toward self-destructive paths as a way to escape toxic relationships. Through personal anecdotes, I reflect on the role of serendipity in shaping our destinies and the often unseen connections that drive significant life changes.

Additionally, I analyze how personal injuries can reveal the depth of care from others, illustrating the dynamics of give-and-take in relationships. I address a listener's dream about mourning a brother, unpacking the symbolic nature of death and its relation to oppressive family dynamics and free will.

Ultimately, I emphasize the importance of higher moral standards in guiding our lives and relationships, highlighting the critical role of conscious choice and self-reflection in navigating our journeys.

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Category

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Learning
Transcript
00:00All righty, good morning everybody. This is Stefan Molyneux from Free Domain. It is 9.30am, Thursday, December 26th, 2024.
00:09And we have some questions from freedomain.locals.com.
00:14Great community, I hope you will join us and I hope you had a very, very Merry Christmas.
00:20Somebody wrote, Hey Stef, I recently got into a car crash on the way to my parents' house.
00:25I went into a median and flipped on the ice.
00:28I've had this recurring creeping thought that maybe it may have been intentional by my subconscious.
00:33Do you think that the subconscious can influence us to do things that are even life-threatening to keep us away from abusers?
00:39So that's the first part of the question. Yes. Yes.
00:43So if you are, I'm not saying you are, right, if someone is in a relationship where the continuation of that relationship is going to have you not want to live.
00:58You know, I look at this alternate world, this alternate path, this other universe.
01:07If I look at the chain of causality, like all the dominoes that had to fall in order for me to meet my wife and through meeting my wife transforming my life.
01:18And it's funny because it wasn't like I was introduced to my wife by someone in particular,
01:27but the couple who was responsible in a way for me meeting my wife.
01:33In other words, I met my wife playing volleyball, the guy who said, let's go play volleyball.
01:37They don't even know we got married, that couple.
01:41We had a ruckus in the relationship, doesn't really matter what.
01:46And we stopped talking to each other.
01:48And so they were responsible for my wife and I meeting and they don't even know we got married.
01:56It's pretty wild. Anyway.
01:58So I look at that alternate universe where what else would have happened, right?
02:05I mean, I would have, I'm sure, continued to date.
02:08I might have got married.
02:09Honestly, I can't believe or I can't imagine any way that it would have gone better than the way that it's gone.
02:16So I sort of look at that alternate universe and maybe I'd had a couple more relationships, maybe married for a while, maybe still married, may have kids, may not have kids.
02:27But if I sort of look at that alternate universe where I didn't get married and have kids and was in my late 50s, it would be, I mean, it would be really depressing.
02:42To be honest, it would be really depressing.
02:44There would be this weariness.
02:46What's the point?
02:47Missed the boat, made the wrong decisions, made the wrong choices.
02:52And, you know, there's a particular level of almost cruelty within the human mind where you only figure out your bad decisions when it's too late to fix them.
03:06You know, if you're doing something terrible like drunk driving and you only really realize how bad it is when the police or sirens are in the rearview mirror and they're demanding that you pull over.
03:20I mean, there are lots of people I've talked to over the years who woke up on their honeymoon realizing they'd married the wrong person.
03:30There's something in life, really, it's pretty challenging and pretty awful that this happens, but it really does.
03:37And this is why philosophy is so important because philosophy can help you avoid that.
03:41There is a kind of set of wiring that connects to your bad decisions only when it's too late to fix them.
03:47On the other hand, this is the women in their 40s realizing they do need men, and they do want kids, but it's too late to fix.
03:56And so I think there's something that happens sort of deep in our brain.
04:02If we're heading towards a life which is going to have us be absolutely miserable, then I think it is possible that our unconscious can guide us to an injury.
04:15An injury will disrupt the system, an injury will disrupt the situation, and an injury will also help you figure out how much people care about you.
04:24If you're in a relationship with really selfish people and you're being exploited, well, you can't provide resources when you're injured.
04:33In fact, you need resources when you're injured.
04:36Injury can be, or sickness can be, a really great way to figure out who cares about you and who doesn't.
04:46I mean, if there's some woman and she's a real looker and guys date her to parade her around and to be high status and so on, and then she's unwell, well, she can't provide that service.
04:58And how much are people interested in her?
05:00When a woman ages out of her youthful beauty and fertility, how much value does she have for men?
05:08She's gained in wisdom, perhaps, or resources, or money, or she has a house.
05:11But how much do people actually really care about her?
05:15So, I mean, it's the basic polarity in relationships.
05:19You're in a relationship because you gain some material or emotional value out of that person.
05:29Or you're in a relationship because you intensely admire that person's virtues and they inspire you to better virtues yourself.
05:38I mean, that's all there is.
05:42It's a great phrase that used to be referred to as sort of capitalism, right?
05:46That people don't treat each other as genuine human beings, but rather instead they have these dry calculations of mutual utility.
05:54Dry calculations of mutual utility.
05:56But, of course, that has a lot to do with how people have relationships, right?
06:01You know the old meme that if sexual availability wasn't on the table, men would realize how many women weren't actually very interesting.
06:10And if money wasn't on the table, women would realize how little men had to offer.
06:18And I think there's some truth in that for sure.
06:21I think there's some truth in that for sure.
06:23So, if you're in a relationship where you provide value, status, resources, you know, you help people.
06:32You babysit their kids.
06:33You watch their house when they're away.
06:35You do all of these great things for them.
06:38But it's just kind of one way.
06:39Well, what happens when you're sick, when you need resources?
06:43So, if you're heading towards certain misery that might even end up involving self-destructive tendencies like more serious,
06:52if you're heading towards misery, you will risk injury to avoid misery.
06:58Because in that way, your unconscious may do that calculation.
07:01This is just my opinion.
07:02Of course, I have no proof of any of this.
07:04It's just my opinion based upon, I mean, some fairly decent data in the thousands of conversations I've had with people over the years.
07:11But I think your unconscious will say, well, if we're heading towards certain misery and we are not awake as to how we're exploited,
07:19we will create a situation where people have to help us.
07:23And it is really remarkable.
07:26I remember, I won't get into the relationship in details,
07:29but I very clearly remember when someone I knew was going to have his first kid,
07:35I spent an entire long weekend helping them clean their place in preparation.
07:42You know, there's this nesting instinct, right?
07:44And I just remember thinking afterwards, I remember thinking afterwards,
07:47you know, there's no way that this guy is going to be over at my house for a long weekend if I ever have kids.
07:55Cleaning up, like, it's just not going to happen, right?
07:57I had, when I produced my first play called Seduction, I gave the script to another guy.
08:04I knew to read it and give me some feedback, never did.
08:07When I wrote my first novel called The Jealous War,
08:12I gave it to a friend of mine who was stationed in a very remote location for the entire summer.
08:18And he said he never got around to reading it, even though no TV, no internet,
08:23and he had nothing to do for eight hours of the day, right?
08:25Eight hours sleep, eight hours work, nothing to do.
08:27He just, you know, he never, so just that level of interest, right?
08:30When I first started doing what I do now, there were people, of course, in my life
08:35that I really wanted to listen to what I'm doing, give feedback and so on.
08:39And it was virtually, virtually non-existent.
08:42So when you are not providing resources to people, but instead asking them for something,
08:47well, you find out how much you're valued, how reciprocal things are or are not.
08:54And it's really, it's really, really important to go through that.
08:58So I think as a whole, I'm sorry, should I do this next question?
09:04Will it tie in? I think it might.
09:06So the guy goes on to write, additionally, sorry, let me just go back there for a second.
09:10Sorry for skipping around, but there's a point I forgot to mention.
09:13It's the old thing that if you're, if the plane you're in is going down,
09:18and like you'll jump, because to stay on the plane is certain death.
09:23So you'll jump, maybe you'll land in a swimming pool, maybe there's water down there,
09:26maybe there's some sloping roof that you can skid down and land on a hay rack.
09:30Like you'll have a chance of survival by choosing something that's immediately dangerous
09:36and avoiding a certain destruction.
09:38So yeah, I think if you are in a situation where you're going to be exploited and miserable,
09:46and if you have like really bad parents, like sort of unrelentingly bad parents,
09:50that conditions who you can get married to, right?
09:54Because if there's a high quality woman, she won't want to spend time around abusive,
10:00neglectful, destructive, exploitive people, right?
10:04She won't want to raise her kids around that.
10:06She won't want to be part of that whole family situation.
10:09So it's not just your relationship with your parents.
10:12It's that your relationship with your parents, if your parents are really bad,
10:15is keeping good people away and the only people that you have available to marry,
10:20the only women you have available to marry,
10:23are equally corrupt and dangerous and destructive or massively appeasing
10:29and therefore you won't respect them kind of women.
10:31So I think it's a dice roll saying we got to get to a better place.
10:34The guy goes on to say,
10:36Additionally, my nightmares have been more consistent than ever lately.
10:38I have had back-to-back nights where I dream of my brother being dead and I am mourning him.
10:43In reality, he is alive and well and live with my parents.
10:48What does it represent in a dream for someone to be dead who is alive in real life?
10:52Thanks again for what you do.
10:54You're welcome.
10:55Freedomain.com.
10:56Donate if you find these answers helpful.
10:58I would very much appreciate it.
11:00So if you look at what death is, physical death, right?
11:04So physical death is you have no conscious thought.
11:08You're beyond free will and you are decaying.
11:11You have no conscious thoughts.
11:12You're beyond free will and you are decaying.
11:15So when you say in reality, he is alive and well,
11:18the word well, right?
11:20Since your parents are abusive, according to what you say, alive and well.
11:24But if he lives with abusive parents into, I assume, into his 20s or later,
11:29because you don't say that he's very young and if you and you don't say that he's,
11:36you know, that it's unusual that he lives.
11:39Sorry, that it's normal or natural that he lives with your parents.
11:42So I assume that he's in his 20s or maybe older, but let's say 20s.
11:46Lives with my parents.
11:48I mean, as you well know, a lot of people die young,
11:53but it takes 65 or 70 years to bury their bodies.
11:58So it's your brother alive.
12:01It's your brother alive.
12:02To be alive is to have conscious thoughts and to have free will
12:09and to be growing in strength and virtue.
12:12If your brother has no particular conscious thoughts, in other words,
12:17if he's like an NPC, if he's programmed, if he's reactive,
12:20if he's hiding out from life, if he's taking the path of least resistance, right?
12:25I mean, the reason we have conscious minds, morality, and willpower
12:29is so we can do that which is very hard to do.
12:34That is why we have these capacities.
12:39Why do we have muscles?
12:41We have muscles so that we can not have inertia, right?
12:46You think of the sort of ragdoll physics some character dies in a video game.
12:49They just bounce down a mountainside.
12:50They don't have any mode of power.
12:52It's just boom, boom, boom, right?
12:54So we have muscles to overcome inertia
12:57and we have muscles because we have the will to choose what we do,
13:00the muscles in our mouth to choose what we say,
13:02the muscles in our arms to choose what we move,
13:05the muscles in our legs to choose where we go.
13:08And we have a muscle in the mind called morality
13:11that has us overcome the inertia,
13:14the ragdoll physics of bouncing down the mountainside of inevitability, right?
13:19And to choose and will something.
13:22And so to have conscious thoughts in the moral realm
13:25is to have a higher standard of virtue that we strive to achieve.
13:31If your brother is enmeshed in NPC ragdoll physics,
13:35if he's just bouncing down his sort of hillside of circumstances,
13:39not making any choice,
13:41then to dream that he is dead,
13:43which is to say he has no conscious thoughts,
13:45he has no free will,
13:47because if he has no higher standards that he's striving for,
13:49then he has no free will.
13:51Free will is not granted to every human being.
13:54Free will is the result of having a higher standard that you aim for.
13:59If someone is overweight but believes that they are healthy and beautiful
14:04and everyone around them tells them that they're healthy and beautiful,
14:07do they have the choice to lose weight
14:11if either they don't think they're overweight
14:13or they know that they're overweight but think that it's fine, healthy and beautiful?
14:17Well, no.
14:19In order to have free will,
14:21you have to have a standard that is different from what you're doing
14:25than who you are.
14:27It's a little bit like an animal.
14:28Animals don't have higher moral standards.
14:30They just respond to instincts and hunger and lust
14:33and the programmed parabolic protection
14:35if they are mothering and fathering types of animals.
14:40So we only have free will if we reject what is for what should be,
14:46not even what could be, what should be.
14:48So if somebody genuinely believes that smoking is not harmful
14:55and they love smoking and everyone around them smokes
14:58and their doctor says smoking is fine,
15:00are they free to quit smoking?
15:02Well, no.
15:03The propaganda is there to strip you of free will.
15:06Now, if someone knows that smoking is really bad for him
15:10and that he needs to quit in order to be healthy,
15:13well, that person has the choice to quit smoking.
15:18So if your brother does not have a higher standard
15:21that chafes against where he is
15:23and encourages him to try to break free of abusers,
15:28to move out, to, right?
15:30Because again, it's one thing if you're enmeshed in a relationship
15:33with abusive parents in terms of limiting your dating prospects
15:37to people who are intensely low quality
15:39and probably abusive themselves.
15:41But if you're actually living at home with abusive parents,
15:46you are as unattractive to virtuous women as you can possibly be.
15:50So if somebody is pursuing a life path
15:55that will not allow them to marry a virtuous woman,
15:59then their bloodline is dead to morality.
16:02In fact, if he's going to produce anyone,
16:05he's going to probably produce people against morality.
16:09All right, so here's a long question about why I live in Canada
16:14and the First Amendment in America.
16:17Well, I mean, maybe you live in the world of words.
16:21I live in the world of what actually happens.
16:23And if you look at the companies that censored me,
16:27you figure out the geography and so on.
16:29It's not super complicated.
16:31Okay, so those are the questions.
16:33I really do appreciate it.
16:35If you'd like to do a call, then, of course,
16:36freedomain.com slash call.
16:38To do that, it would be greatly, deeply, and humbly appreciated.
16:41And freedomain.com slash donate to help out the show
16:45would also be gratefully, humbly, and deeply appreciated.
16:47Have yourselves a wonderful day.
16:48Merry Christmas again.
16:49I'll talk to you soon. Bye.