"There is a lot of guilt with young kids." Falguni Nayar, the founder of Nykaa, opened up about how spending less time with children leads to mom guilt.
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00:00There is a lot of guilt with young kids
00:02that you're not spending time, even if you're spending quality time.
00:05I have seen such fantastic, intelligent women,
00:08my friends give up their work because they just felt too guilty and they give up.
00:13Guilt as a mother stays for a very long time.
00:18I was just unsure of how to work with the guilt that came along with being a working mom.
00:25See, guilt as a mother stays for a very long time
00:28till finally when the kids grow up and then everybody starts saying,
00:32okay, you didn't do such a bad job.
00:35So I think that takes a long time.
00:37Unknowingly also friends who are your biggest supporter also,
00:41I had lots of friends who really supported me.
00:43I lived in US and London and these girls were my big support system,
00:48picking up kids after work if I couldn't pick them up if I was traveling.
00:52And still they would always say, because they could see kids waiting for me.
00:56So they would always say, can you not come back a little earlier?
00:59And you always feel that people don't get it.
01:02People don't get what exactly is keeping you away.
01:08But I think with Advaita also what I saw was that
01:13I can say that I'm both a tough boss and a tough mother
01:16because I threw new business at her right in the middle of the pregnancy.
01:20And she's like, mom, why are you giving it to me now?
01:24And I said, no, I know you can do it.
01:26So she's been able to handle a lot during pregnancy and even now.
01:34So it's been good.
01:35So mom guilt is a huge millennial.
01:41I mean, it's been there forever.
01:43But for us millennials, it's become even bigger.
01:46It's become even bigger, right?
01:48Did you go through it?
01:49How did you manage it?
01:51I think the issue is that when you have young children,
01:54that's when your career is also at its peak demand on you, right?
01:58So both things are happening.
01:59Like one used to travel.
02:01I used to travel extensively.
02:03And I remember, you know, I would come back home late at night
02:06and early morning I'd be flying off.
02:08And Advaita would have said, sign here, sign here, sign here.
02:10So the children also grow up and take a lot of responsibility.
02:14But so there is a lot of guilt with young kids
02:17that you're not spending time, even if you're spending quality time.
02:20I used to keep telling myself that, yeah, I know I'm spending quality time.
02:24But how do I compete with a mother who's also spending quality time
02:28and still giving a lot more time?
02:29So and there are enough examples of all types of mothers at school
02:33who are there 100% of the time.
02:35So you're always comparing.
02:37And it's a long term thing, I think.
02:41And it doesn't get easy.
02:43You know, I use this word called little, you know, English word is stubborn.
02:47But I love the Hindi word for it is little jiddi.
02:50You really need to be jiddi about what you want to achieve at work
02:52for you to overcome that guilt and say, no, this matters to me.
02:56And I need to do because I have seen such fantastic, intelligent women.
03:00My friends give up their work because they just felt too guilty and they give up.
03:05And now they regret that they didn't take it forward in their work.