Sima Aunty talks to Gulf News on the launch episode of the podcast Tell Me Why. She recounts how she started her career and her rapid rise to international fame.
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#UAEnews #Netflix #marriage
See more videos at https://gulfnews.com/videos
Read more Gulf News stories here: https://bit.ly/2HLJ2km
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#UAEnews #Netflix #marriage
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00:00My husband is a pillar of strength. He has supported me on every step by step, day by day.
00:06And the way I am here today, a celebrity being in 200 countries overnight,
00:13it's not an easy game. So I say behind every successful woman, there is a progressive husband.
00:18Hey guys, what's happening? Welcome to a new episode of Tell Me Why. Today's episode is extra
00:30special. We have a fantastic guest with us. The one, the only, the Indian matchmaking queen,
00:38Aunty Seema Taparia. How are you? You're in Dubai. Tell us a bit more about that. What are
00:43you doing here? Good afternoon friends. I'm Seema Taparia from Mumbai. Hello everyone. And today
00:50I'm very excited here to be in Dubai and be here to have a chit chat with you all. That's very nice.
00:57So just to give you a bit of a background, our show is called Tell Me Why. We tend to ask our
01:03guests a unique Tell Me Why question and then we dive into the story. So like, or the topic.
01:08So my Tell Me Why question to you is, why did you start matchmaking? Way before the show,
01:14way before the Netflix show, Indian matchmaking, why did you start it? Did you feel like there
01:18was a need? Did you feel like people were coming to you to match them with others?
01:23What was the reason? This matchmaking, I have started in 2005. 25 years before, I did a match
01:33of my own sister Preeti, who is happily living in Boston. So then I thought, when I've done this,
01:41I got a confidence and I've done few more matches of my relatives, my friends and all. So I thought
01:46that why not I do this? I help my society, my community. I help the people who are hunting for
01:53a partner. So their job will be less if I help them, if I do a service to the community. Since
02:00childhood, I had a unique ability to talk to people, to connect them, to be socialized,
02:08then to scan them, filter them. Like I had these qualities, means wherever I used to find,
02:15I used to go in functions, I used to talk to them and all. When I said when I had these qualities,
02:20why can't I become a matchmaker? Because in our society, in arranged marriages, a matchmaker was
02:26very much needed. Because in olden days, any cousins, any grandmother, any family member,
02:33they tell the rishtas that they help by telling the rishtas and matches and all. And now the
02:40system has stopped. It has eradicated. Nobody wants to give the rishtas and all. So then come
02:45the work of a matchmaker. So I thought I would help the society community and it will be a great
02:52job because I had all those abilities and all. So in 2005, professionally, I started and I became
03:00a matchmaker. Okay, so you said that this was a skill that you've had ever since being a child.
03:05Now, how do you do it now that it's like professionally, like you actually have
03:10clients that come forward and say, I want to get married? How do you gather information? How do
03:15you create the bio data that you spoke about in Indian matchmaking? How do you do that?
03:21Good question. My way of working is completely different. Number one, I think like my son and
03:27daughter, my clients. So this is emotionally connected and I'm attached to the people.
03:34It's a profession, but I don't work like a profession, but I work as if they are my family
03:39members. Number two, clients come with their bio data, with their criteria, with their,
03:47I mean, what they want and all. They come with a list of that. Then I see that I personally go to
03:53each and every house in India mostly. In Dubai also I go, nearby countries, I cannot fly always
03:59to US and all. By Zoom only I have to talk to them. So I personally, I visit, I see, I have food
04:07in their house. After having, I know what type of standard they're having, what type of serving
04:12they're doing, what type of food they're serving. I scan them. I filter the boys and girls. I see
04:17their business. I ask their criteria, everything I do it, then I match with the other party. Then
04:24it becomes easy because people go by my goodwill. They know what Seema Taparia is saying. They
04:30believe on that. And that takes a lot of trust. I feel like I have to trust Aunty Seema so much
04:35to know that, okay, you know what, whatever she brings forth, I trust that it's going to be,
04:38one of them will at least be a match. How do you gain their trust? How does it start?
04:43Because the way it is, I present them the same thing. Not like this that if they are A, B,
04:49I present them C, D, no. Whatever I see, whatever they're having, whatever the ifs and buts are
04:54there of the family, I present the same thing, whatever it is. You're truthful. I cannot,
04:59I'm truthful. In the show also, why people love me? Seema Aunty is honest. Seema Aunty is grounded.
05:07Seema Aunty is the way she is. She's down to earth. So people say we love you.
05:11And also because you mentioned that you're like a mother to them. They're like your children.
05:15And I've seen that. You've had clients that are from the US going to visit, you know,
05:19their matches, parents in India, and you flew out with them just to be there as support. And I love
05:26that. I absolutely love that. And I'm sure they appreciate it. So going back to the fact that
05:30you were saying, I treat them like my kids. Did you matchmake your kids?
05:34Yeah, the other one, my daughter is in Dubai. She's married since 10 years. You can see her
05:41in season three. In episode three. My daughter, my son-in-law, my granddaughter, my younger
05:47daughter. They all are there in season three. And she's happily married in Dubai. She stays in JLT.
05:52That's amazing. So you were able to do it with your kids. It's tricky because you know how
05:56you mentioned this on the show too. You're like, doctors can't operate on their loved ones.
06:01And I remember that. You have seen many minutely the show.
06:05I have. I love this show. I love you. And I love your energy. So of course,
06:09I have. I matchmade my aunt's son. And few of them have matchmade. My sister-in-law's daughter
06:17who is married happily in Delhi. Few of them have matched from my family. That's fantastic. Okay,
06:22so diving into like, what are the certain deal breakers and what actually lead to a successful
06:30match? Can you tell us a bit more? What are some deal breakers that you've seen between,
06:34you know, candidates? And what are some things that help them, you know, become a successful
06:39match? You see, if the clients don't be picky, then everything goes well. Oh, yes. And if they're
06:46picky, they want everything. So how will they get everything? Yeah, wherever they have to draw a
06:50border, they have to draw a line. You cannot get everything. Yes. So I tell them you get only 60%,
06:5670%. Don't go for 100% because nobody has got 100%. And if your checklist is okay, studies,
07:04looks, height or anything, whatever you want, compatibility, whatever you want, if 60, 70 is
07:10okay, you must say yes and proceed. Don't go for 100%. Yes. Because 100% nobody has got. Yeah. But
07:17after marriage while staying together, you have to make 100%. That's the beauty of a good
07:23relationship. What a beautiful segue into my next question. What makes a successful marriage?
07:28So we know that there's no such thing as a perfect marriage. We know that. But what makes it
07:33successful? Because we've seen this on your show as well, where we've had couples that have been
07:38married for 40 years, and they talk about not being able to go a day without their partner and
07:42not being able to live without their partner. What made myself and my husband Anoop? Yes,
07:47we are more married since 40 years. Last month, we had a 40th anniversary. And we are opposite
07:53poles apart. Oh, and what made it successful? Successful because we appreciate each other's
07:59qualities. We compromise, we adjust, we are flexible. Yes. Love and respect is another part.
08:07So all these qualities and drop your ego and have patience. Yes. If you follow these qualities,
08:14you will have a good relationship and a very smooth married life. I agree. Can I add one more?
08:20Because I've been married for two years and nine months now. Very young yet, but I realized that
08:26communication is key. I found out that I'm not the type of person that can communicate properly.
08:32And when I started talking about my feelings, bridged the gap. So I agree. I agree with
08:37everything you said. So talking about season three, I wanted to ask because you mentioned
08:42this as well as being one of the issues that you faced, maybe not issue, but like one of the
08:46challenges, let's say, where you find a mama's boy, or a girl that's too attached to her parents,
08:52like we've seen this with Roshali, I think, yeah, she was too attached to her family. How do you
08:56deal with something? How do you advise her to at least get a different perspective? Because she
09:01wanted someone that loved her like her mother or cooked like her mother. And sometimes that's not
09:06realistic. How do you deal with that? I just advise them. Then rest is their call. They are
09:13very smart. They understand. Parents are smart. Then how can I tell them to change those thoughts?
09:20Yeah, I just guide them. That's all. Then it's their call whether they want to change or not.
09:24How do you persuade them? You're so good at this. Like, how do you do it?
09:28God has made each personality different than others. We are millions of people in the world.
09:34But each people is different than other. Right. So we have to just advise them, guide them.
09:42And then they take their call. That's the thing. We cannot force them. No, you have to change it.
09:46But we have to guide them. You see, this is the point. This is the point. If you change,
09:50it's good for you. Okay. And many people listen also to me. Many people are adamant. So it's their
09:56call. So I cannot force anybody for that. My next point is you were saying that you have
10:00some clients in Dubai. And we know from your show that you have clients in London in the US.
10:06Are you planning on opening up new markets? Yeah, we are planning. I'm going to do a meet
10:11and greet very soon in Dubai. I have given a talk recently in Stanford. 800 students.
10:17Wow. Last month, I gave in Yale 800 students. I gave in KPMG America. Now I'm going to Chicago,
10:26and many universities are inviting me. So I'm going to give the talk of my Indian values there.
10:33So Dubai also and I've done meet and greet in San Jose, Chicago, three in New York. Now I'm doing
10:39in London and Dubai and many places. Okay, so I'll be doing meet and greet very soon in Dubai.
10:45Do you find that Indians living abroad are resistant to the idea? Because as you said,
10:49like matchmaking has become or arranged marriages have become a bit outdated or
10:54some people think that way. Do you feel like they're resistant the younger generations?
10:58No, it depends on people to people. We are not forcing to that you do arrange marriage.
11:03Those who want to do they can do love marriage also. Okay, those who want to go from Bumble
11:07and Timber and that all those Timber, they can go there. But those who want to come in,
11:12they can come to me. So there is no force at all. Okay. And now after seeing Indian matchmaking,
11:18youngsters are telling we want to do arrange marriage.
11:21So the concept is changing now in their mind. They want to do arrange marriage.
11:27So you see now and there's no force those who want to do they can go in any line.
11:32Okay, there is no force and those who want they can come to me for in marriage.
11:36This is interesting because we also see that there are certain apps that that help like,
11:42you know, South Asians meet or Arabs meet or like they're specific to a demographic.
11:48Do you plan on doing that?
11:49Yeah, like in US and all I've done so only Indians had come there.
11:53Okay.
11:54In three I did in this one and in mostly 90% I do Indians. But now I've started an app just
12:0120 days before. The app name is Urban Match.
12:05Urban Match.
12:06Yeah, in that anybody can come and they can join, they can register.
12:10So now recently we have started then we'll go to US, Dubai, Singapore, Hong Kong.
12:15So anybody can come and join that match and all I mean community people can come and
12:20be a member there.
12:20Have you dealt with anyone different like other than an Indian?
12:24No, still still we have not done but we have started that app now.
12:27Okay, okay. Do you feel like that you might face some challenges
12:30with like the different cultural values or do you think?
12:33No, the app is just it is a high tech app.
12:35Okay.
12:36So they have few categories. One category is if you want to get the service of Seema Taparia.
12:43That is one category.
12:44Okay.
12:45So when the member joins, they can join any category what they want.
12:48Moving on to your previous clients. Can you tell us do you stay in touch with them?
12:53Do they come and still visit you? Do they tell you like, if they have kids now,
12:57do they introduce you to them? Like, is there a really a long term relationship with these?
13:01Yeah.
13:02Or is it just like, I match them and I leave?
13:04No, we have a long term relationship. And when we match them, we get connected to their families.
13:11And they think as though we are a family member.
13:14Yeah.
13:14And even we think that we are a family member.
13:16Right.
13:17So the bond is becomes more strong.
13:19Okay.
13:19So they come and meet and all the relationship, it continues.
13:23Have you attended any of the weddings that have happened?
13:26It was such a peace and sense of satisfaction when I see the weddings. I feel so happy. Because
13:32they come and say, Oh, Seema aunty, that you have done it. I said, No, who I am, I'm just a mediator.
13:38Already God has fixed you all. But just God has sent me as a mediator. So I'm working for that.
13:44And what does your husband think of what you're doing?
13:46My husband is a pillar of strength. He has supported me on every step by step, day by day.
13:53And the way I am here today, a celebrity being in 200 countries overnight. It's not an easy game.
14:01Of course.
14:02This is the help of my husband and my daughters. I'm from a conservative Marwadi family.
14:08Okay.
14:08And from the Marwadi family to reach the world, it's impossible. So this God is great. God is
14:15kind. It is God's, I mean, help and my husband's support is pillar of the strength. So I say
14:22behind every successful woman, there is a progressive husband. He has helped me. And
14:27today also he's there in Dubai with me. When I go to US, he's there with me because I want
14:32to support. So he's supporting me in every day, every day, every step by step and everywhere.
14:38So I'm very thankful for him.
14:40Does he sometimes help you with the bio data? Does he have like
14:43any advice for you sometimes? Or does he contribute? And when it comes to these things?
14:47Yeah, we had gone in somebody's house. So somebody had come to meet us today in Taj. So he said,
14:54Oh, that girl will go for this boy. If I forget all the sentences, sometimes he's sitting and
15:00listening and all. Yeah. So he said, Oh, that that girl will go. I said, Yeah, you're right.
15:04So he helps me in that also.
15:06Oh, he's a pro as well. So tell us about your music video.
15:10You've heard?
15:11Yes.
15:11Have you seen on YouTube?
15:13Yes, I have. Of course. I've seen you. Was this an actual wedding? Like you filmed it
15:17at an actual or was it script? Okay. Yes.
15:20Since childhood, I had a dream to sing. But I thought my voice is not so beautiful as the
15:25other ladies sing. And I used to sing in anthakshari, in chorus, or like this, I used to
15:30sing but not like a mic and I'm standing and I'm singing. So after the show, I saw that the whole
15:37world is loving my voice. They are loving the way I talk. So I thought there is no, I mean,
15:45boundary for any creativity. Yes. And I always like to do some creativity. And I tell all my
15:50clients who are listening here that there is no boundary. If you have any creativity, please you
15:55come out and you fulfill your wish, singing, dancing or anything. And there is no age limit
16:01for that at any age, you can do it. So when I thought my voice has become my asset, I thought
16:06I have to sing a song. And the song connected to marriage because my profession, my line is
16:12of marriage. So first I wanted to sing for a marriage. Okay, so I sang a rap that it suits
16:17my voice. And it is really happening. And it's a peppy song and very catchy song. Yeah, so I
16:23thought of making that song. And last 15 days before I launched the song, and 1.5 millions
16:29have already seen those those video and it is going viral in India in many marriages. The song
16:36is being played. Yes, I can assume I was just gonna say that was my next question. Have you
16:40heard it? And have you heard that it's been played? Yeah, in weddings, two, three people
16:44have called me and said we have played in a wedding this song. And I think even you by two
16:48lines, you can tell my audience that song like in that any Dubai video and all they have done that.
16:54Yes. So just two lines, you can, I mean, make them to listen. Yes. Even they know what is a
17:00song. Can you sing a bit of it right now with us? My voice is gone today. It's a beautiful voice.
17:05You have a radio voice, by the way.
17:17Beautiful. I'm speechless. I just don't know what to say. Honestly, thank you so much for your time.
17:23Thank you. Aunty Seema Taparia, ladies and gentlemen was joining us in the studio today.
17:28Thank you so much. We'd love to have you back. I'm very happy that you all are loving me the
17:33world is a huge fan. Since childhood, I dreamt of respect and love. So I got my love and respect
17:40from you all. And recognition and fame was a byproduct what I got. I was passionate about
17:47my work. I was focused. I worked hard just for love and respect. But you all are loving me.
17:54Fame is a byproduct. So I love you all. Please watch my season three and please listen my song.
18:00It's really going viral and peppy. And I love you all.