• 2 days ago
In this episode of Snack Wars, we are joined by the legendary Danny Dyer to review Posh vs. Normal food!

Danny demonstrates the 'sexy' way to eat jellied eels, risks heartburn over spicy Peperami, and admits he's a regular Rustler burger consumer!

Marching Powder is only in cinemas from 7th March

#ladbible #ladbibleentertainment #DannyDyer

Category

😹
Fun
Transcript
00:00For me, all day long, whatever the f**k that is,
00:02there's a f**king hair on it, and oh, look, get on that, look.
00:05Oh, yes.
00:11I'm Danny Dyer, and this is Snack Wars for Ladbible.
00:15And today we're testing posh food,
00:17whatever that is, against normal food.
00:21Let's f**king have it.
00:22Right, ready?
00:23Boom.
00:24All right, okay, so.
00:27It's a jelly deal.
00:28Yeah, but it's the thing about these,
00:30is that I've had this put in front of me before.
00:33You know, you need a proper f**king jelly deal stall.
00:36You always know a good pie mash shop.
00:40A good pie mash shop is a geezer sitting in the corner with no teeth,
00:44old boy pushing 90, sucking on jelly deals.
00:48You go, this is a proper gaffe.
00:50Sushi.
00:51I don't mind sushi.
00:52Where's the f**king wasabi?
00:53Where's the soy sauce?
00:54Yeah.
00:56If we're gonna f**king do it, let's have it.
00:58Thank you very much, darling.
00:59No wasabi.
01:00That's a shame, didn't have the budget.
01:02Didn't have the budget.
01:03Now I'm just trying to think, what's in this?
01:04Is this a bit of salmon?
01:06That is salmon, yeah.
01:06Sometimes you can get the bollocky ones at Morrison's,
01:09and it's got a bit of cucumber in it.
01:11You know, what the f**k is the point of that?
01:13So I'll have a bang on it, just out of, you know, respect.
01:22The only way it's trying to be, this one,
01:24it's got all the crumbs on it,
01:25but you can't have the crumbs with cucumber
01:27and a bollocky bit of f**king salmon.
01:32Now, I love these in real life.
01:35It's good you're not sexy, is it?
01:38You know, if you pull someone, you go, come round.
01:42Go here, babe, have some of that.
01:49Then you have a mouthful, and then you go, now tongue me.
01:53So, I mean, look, you've got me a jekyll,
01:55I'd say Jekyll, Jekyll and Hyde, Snyde.
02:00A bit of jelly deals.
02:01And what you would also have on this,
02:02which you haven't got, budget,
02:04is chilli vinegar and white pepper.
02:08So it's got to be white pepper.
02:11The other thing is, you've got two around the spine.
02:19Gob it out.
02:20Well, I've got to, just because I'm from East London.
02:24So for me, it's the jelly deals.
02:32What's this bollocks?
02:34Raw greens, a virgin smoothie.
02:38And what, you can't go wrong with this.
02:40It's got to be this flavour.
02:42There's an orange one, not for me.
02:45I think they brought out a f**king passion fruit one,
02:46which was a f**king passion fruit.
02:47I think they brought out a f**king passion fruit one,
02:49which was a f**king disgrace.
02:52So, do I need the glass?
02:54I don't think I f**king do, do I?
03:00Something about a f**king Lucasaid.
03:03I mean, I could swim in that f**king thing,
03:05I'm a f**king big fat of it.
03:07No, now listen, as I'm getting older,
03:10I'm realising you've got to half look after yourself.
03:13Spinach is f**king amazing for you.
03:15Kale, not a fan of a pear.
03:17I've never understood pears.
03:19They're just like a s**t apple.
03:21A moody apple, I'd call them.
03:24Kiwis, good for you.
03:27Broccoli, f**k about.
03:31Love broccoli.
03:32You know, listen, generally things that are good for you,
03:35they look and taste like shite.
03:38And that's why we all like the other stuff, don't we?
03:40So, I think that smells all right.
03:45It's all right, really,
03:46because you don't get no broccoli or kale.
03:52Although I prefer the taste of broccoli to f**king pear.
03:55I don't know what's the matter with me.
03:57So, look, depends, doesn't it, really?
03:59I mean, that's obviously going to give me vitamins and s**t
04:02and build my immune system up.
04:04So, in general, I'd probably have to swerve that way.
04:06But, you know, I can't knock a Lucasaid.
04:08Oh, what am I going to go for here?
04:10Uh, uh, just because, you know, I want to live another five years,
04:17I'll go with a f**king smoothie.
04:20Pains me to say it.
04:24Right, okay.
04:25So, f**king la-dee-dah.
04:32I'm a massive fan of these, the old pepperoni.
04:35Always have been, again, something deemed as filth.
04:40You know, to be seen eating one, it's not a sexy food, is it?
04:43So, I'll have a mouthful of that first.
04:45I'm happy that you've gone for the hot one.
04:47There's an even hotter one than this, I think.
04:50It's a fat f**ker, I know.
04:51It's like naughty.
04:57I mean, you are guaranteed heartburn.
05:00But, love that.
05:02Now, all this butter, see, look.
05:05You know what that is?
05:06Salami.
05:07Saucisson.
05:08Saucisson, we're back in France.
05:11Exactly.
05:11Can I have that one more time, actually?
05:16This is the bollocks I hang up in f**king posh butchers, isn't it?
05:18You're like, it's a bit hard, isn't it?
05:23That's what I'm saying, look.
05:24How's that posh, look?
05:31Not for me, that.
05:34Too chewy.
05:35It's trying to be posh, as well.
05:36You know what I mean?
05:37I'm thinking about it.
05:39You know, for me, all day long, whatever the f**k that is,
05:43there's a f**king hair on it.
05:44And, oh, look, get on that, look.
05:46Oh, yes.
05:50So, for me, pepperoni.
05:54Plus hair, better.
05:55With a bit of hair?
05:56Yeah.
05:56Preferably.
05:56Preferably.
05:57With a bit of dog hair.
06:01So, I'm assuming that's posh.
06:02That's your posh.
06:03This is cheese on toast, but it's got a bollocky word for it.
06:06What is it?
06:06Croque monsieur.
06:07Croque f**king monsieur.
06:08It's cheese on toast.
06:09Being a very working class person myself, I just pick that up like that.
06:12You know what I mean?
06:13So, cutting it.
06:14Have a little rip up.
06:16Oh, it's got ham in it and all.
06:18There's some bollocks in it.
06:19Why would you put this bollocks on it?
06:21It's posh.
06:22Leave it alone.
06:27Wonderful.
06:28Know what it needs?
06:31It needs to be laced with Worcester sauce.
06:33Oh, got ketchup, if you want.
06:36Nah, it's mental.
06:38I love grub, but I also like eating s**t.
06:41Well, lucky for you.
06:42What's coming up next?
06:44Well, the old rustler.
06:46The classic.
06:48I like the hot dog rustler.
06:51I have before, you can actually buy a double rustler.
06:56So, it's two of these f**kers in the same packet.
06:59Bloody hell.
07:00And, you know, you sort of eat it and then it's like a kebab.
07:04You know, you feel disgusted with yourself.
07:05Do you know what I mean?
07:07It's like if you get caught eating two rustler burgers,
07:09it's like being caught watching Pond.
07:16I know in some circles that is filth,
07:17but who knows what's f**king in it?
07:21It's like a donkey burger, isn't it?
07:23Which one's getting the point, Danny?
07:28Well, because really, I don't book that as posh.
07:32Cheese on toast with a bit of ham in it.
07:33I'll go with that.
07:34I love f**king cheese and I love ham.
07:38Ah, okay.
07:40So, being a skint kid, you know,
07:47you know, this, I'm assuming this is the poor man's food, is it?
07:52For me, that was unattainable.
07:53It was like, you know, a knickerbocker glory and wimpy
07:56was something I would only dream about.
07:58You know, I was never going to be allowed to have it.
08:00Never heard of Jude's.
08:02Flat white coffee, f**king hell.
08:05Well, let's have a bang on this then.
08:08We'll go with this first.
08:15Tastes like a flat white?
08:17Um, just general coffee, isn't it, really?
08:19I mean, it's not really flat f**king white.
08:22So, this, I love how you give me the whole f**king thing.
08:26One minute, I'll just eat it like a sandwich.
08:31Look at that f**king thing there.
08:32Look, look, that is just, look at that, look.
08:37That's a f**king thing of beauty.
08:38That goes right back to the 80s, this thing, doesn't it?
08:41Right, okay.
08:42Don't think I've ever had the mint one.
08:44Like I said, as a kid, you know, I could only dream about these things.
08:48I mean, I'm caked now.
08:52Oh.
08:55I've got to go with a viennetta because it doesn't, it's not like ice cream.
08:58I don't know what it is.
08:59Who knows what it is?
09:00You could probably sit that in the sun, it'd never melt.
09:02In a way, in my eyes, that's the posh one.
09:04So, the viennetta gets the point.
09:06And in that game of Snack Wars, normal food won.
09:10Come on.
09:12Usually, I fast in the day, but, you know, I take one for the team.
09:14Okay, okay.
09:15Well, thank you for doing that.
09:16Got to keep your tits down, you know.
09:17Tell you, he's a no.
09:19He wants it.
09:20Go for it.
09:20No, he loves it.
09:22No.
09:22Here.
09:23No.
09:24I'll never speak to you again, mate.
09:27Wow, when you find out something new about your best mate.

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