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00:00We've considered this unlikely but very plausible scenario a young woman alone in the big city
00:06Her ridiculous dream of becoming an actress lies shattered about her
00:10Hey, wait a minute. Hang on. Let's see where he's going
00:14It hits her. How is she going to survive? But she has no prospects no marketable skills
00:20And then one day she meets a group of geniuses and their friend Howard
00:25She befriends them and then lies in wait until they reveal a marketable idea which she steals and sells to the highest bidder
00:41That is ridiculous. Oh, is it? Let's see you come up with an explanation as to why this woman hangs out with us all the time
00:52Okay, you know what I've already mooched dinner off you guys I don't need to listen to this
00:55What are you doing there? Working on a new plan to catch the Roadrunner?
01:00The humorous implication being that I am Wile E. Coyote
01:05Yes, and this is a schematic for a bird trapping device that will ultimately backfire and cause me physical injury
01:14Yes
01:19What I'm doing here is trying to determine when I'm going to die
01:25A lot of people are working on that research
01:29So what is all this? My family history factoring in longevity, propensity for disease, etc. Interesting
01:37Cause of death for Uncle Carl was KBB. What's KBB? Killed by badger
01:44How's that?
01:46It was Thanksgiving. Uncle Carl said I think there's a badger living in our chimney. Hand me that flashlight
01:55Those were the last words he ever spoke to us. Do you go on many dates? Oh, yeah, I wouldn't say many a few
02:06What's a
02:09Your characterization of approximately a hundred and seventy-one different men is a few
02:15Where did you get a hundred and seventy-one men?
02:18Simple extrapolation in the three years that I've known you you were single for two and during that time
02:24I saw 17 different suitors if we work backwards correcting for observation bias and postulate an initial dating age of 15
02:32I did not start dating at 15. I'm sorry 16 14
02:39My mistake now assuming the left side of a bell curve peeking around the present that would bring the total up to
02:47193 men plus or minus eight men
02:50Remarkable, did you have sexual intercourse with all of these men? No, no, although that number would be fairly easy to calculate
02:57Based on the number of awkward encounters
02:59I've had with strange men leaving her apartment in the morning plus the number of times
03:03She's returned home wearing the same clothes. She wore the night before. Okay, Sheldon. I think you've made your point. So we multiply
03:09193 at minus 21 men before the loss of virginity. So a hundred and seventy-two times 0.18 gives a hundred and seventy-two
03:18Times 0.18 gives us thirty point nine six sexual partners
03:24Let's round that up to thirty one
03:26Okay, Sheldon. You are so wrong. That is not even close to the real number of men need a drink over here
03:32I'm sure she's the best fit for our little shall we call it rebel Alliance?
03:38I never identified with the rebel Alliance and despite their tendency to build death stars. I've always been more of an Empire man
03:47Yeah, not my point. I know what your point is. You're intimidated by Amy's intellect to that. I say buck up
03:55Okay, let me just get right to it. Amy is judgmental sanctimonious and frankly just obnoxious
04:03So
04:05So we already have you for all that
04:09Are you suggesting I terminate my relationship with Amy no, no, of course not just have your relationship someplace else
04:17You
04:26Said I could buy a desk. This isn't a desk. This is a
04:31brobding nagging and monstrosity
04:34Is that the American idiom for giant big-ass desk?
04:39It's actually British
04:42You said again for me brobding nagging one more time brobding nagging
04:48Now three times fast brobding nagging brobding
04:55How did you even get it in here that's for me Ramon Julio Jesus and Rodrigo to know and you to find out
05:03All right, you've made your point a fine prank very amusing now get it out
05:11No, yes, no, yes, no, yes, I have three brothers and two sisters Sheldon I can do this all day
05:19All right, if you are not going to remove it, I'll remove it for you knock yourself out
05:24You
05:37Help me move my desk. No, yes. No. Yes. No, it's too broad big banging
05:44It's called counterfactuals
05:46We postulate an alternate world that differs from ours in one key aspect and then pose questions to each other
05:51It's fun for ages 8 to 80 join us
05:56I like a good brain teaser. Give it a whirl
05:59You're in luck. This is an easy one in a world where mankind is ruled by a giant intelligent beaver
06:06What food is no longer consumed?
06:11A BLT where the B stands for beaver
06:16Leonard be serious. We're playing a game here. I
06:20Know I can figure this out. Let's see
06:22Well beavers eat tree bark the only tree bark. I know that humans consume is cinnamon
06:28So I'll say cinnamon incorrect. Obviously the answer is cheese Danish
06:35What in a world ruled by a giant beaver
06:39Mankind builds many dams to please the beaver overlord the low-lying city of Copenhagen is flooded
06:44Thousands die devastated the Danes never invent their namesake pastry
06:50How
06:52Does one miss that
06:54I'd rather not say Howard if you want my help, I've got to know what happened, but it's embarrassing. Yeah, that's what I'm counting on spill
07:04Okay, well, you know World of Warcraft
07:07The online game sure. Well, did you know that the characters in the game can have sex with each other? Oh
07:16God I think I see where this is going
07:19Her name was Glissando the troll
07:24Bernadette walked in on me while we were doing the cyber nasty under the Bridge of Souls. Oh
07:31You're right, that is so embarrassing
07:35Talk to her Bernadette or the troll
07:39Bernadette she was so mad at me. She wouldn't even listen to my side of the story. Well, what was your side?
07:44Well for all we know listen to the troll wasn't even a real woman. She could have been a 50 year old truck driver in
07:50New Jersey
07:53Really and that didn't make her feel better the month Sheldon spent grinding up insects and mixing them into Leonard's food
07:58Well, excuse me. That was not a betrayal. That was an experiment to determine at what concentration food starts tasting
08:06mothy
08:15Hey, that's new P out. Can I have a snow cone? We're sure
08:25These are pretty good, what flavor is this guess?
08:30Papaya no guava. You're so close. I give up mango caterpillar
08:36I
08:41Am sorry to bother you guys, but you've got to come take your Sheldon back
08:45Doing in your apartment. Well, he was moping down in the lobby. So I invited him over and now I regret it
08:50Why do you regret never mind stupid question?
08:53Can't you just let him play with you until bedtime?
08:57I'm not playing. This is real work. We're gonna be hundred airs
09:02Okay, what if I got him to apologize and promise to behave?
09:07Then
09:09I guess we would let him back on the app team
09:11And while we're doing that you could take an aerial tour of LA on your flying pig
09:17Okay, wait right here
09:21I'll tell you one thing if I get rich enough. That's the kind of girl. I want to take on a submarine ride
09:27And yes that time I meant it to be dirty use what I wonder about zombies
09:32Oh
09:34What happens if they can't get any human flesh to eat they can't starve to death they already dead
09:40You take this one. I spent an hour last night on how do vampires shave when they can't see themselves in the mirror
09:47Well groomed vampires meet in pairs and shave each other case closed
09:52Yeah, okay, so zombies I guess it depends on the zombies Roger
09:57Are we talking slow zombies fast zombies like in 28 days if those zombies didn't eat they starve you're thinking of 28 days later
10:0428 days is where Sandra Bullock goes to rehab and puts the audience into an undead state
10:09Hey, don't back on Sandra Bullock
10:11You think it makes you look cultured, but you just come off as bitter
10:14Fabricate a tantalizing piece of gossip and a second non tantalizing piece to use as a control
10:20Then we'll track its progress through our social group and interpret the results through the competing academic prisms of mimetic theory
10:26algebraic gossip and epidemiology
10:33Okay, Amy, what's up Sheldon and I engaged in sexual intercourse in other news
10:37I'm thinking of starting an herb garden mom's the word gotta go
10:45Will Amy be joining us for dinner? Yes, I believe so good good everything okay between you two
10:56Yes
11:02Now if you'll excuse me I have work to do yeah you do you dog you
11:09Nice shot. Thank you. My father taught me archery as a child
11:20It's odd how the activity brings back the smell of Kmart bourbon
11:26Perfect I know what an elf I would have made
11:34Whoo, what do you think you're doing shooting at a target with what an arrow really?
11:40I didn't see you draw one from your quiver
11:43I'm not gonna do that Sheldon Leonard the people at Nintendo can only go so far in helping us recreate an actual athletic experience
11:52We have to do our part, too
11:57I
12:01Was uncalled for but I'll play along
12:05Al world's greatest astrophysicist and don't thank me you earned it
12:12Howard Wolowitz
12:16Why not world's greatest engineer, oh, I'm sorry I typed that into the label maker, but I just couldn't press enter
12:23Now down to business
12:25What would it take for you to abandon Leonard and join me in a rival company?
12:30Unless of course the mugs are sufficient in which case welcome aboard
12:35We're not quitting on Leonard. I understand your loyalty is admirable. But what if I were to up the ante?
12:44What are you talking about monogrammed keychains with a built-in laser pointer?
12:54No, how about canned cozies emblazoned with our university mascot
13:02Go Beavers
13:06I'll be back. Rhea just made a snide comment about your acting career. What the hell did she say?
13:12She thinks it's cool. You're following your dream. No matter what
13:15Bitch
13:21How do you want to handle it, um
13:23Okay, tell Bernadette to tell Priya that I'm on my way to Prague to shoot a movie with Angelina Jolie
13:30Got it
13:31It's gonna be in 3d
13:34What I don't know it doesn't matter I'm gonna say 3d that'll let her know the studio has faith in it
13:42You're kidding 3d
13:46I hear the studio must have real faith in it
13:53Why she didn't tell me have you been spending time with your ex-girlfriend? No
14:00Then why are you surprised she didn't tell you well, it's not as much of surprise as
14:07You know the other thing
14:09What other thing what if you uh, I
14:17Don't
14:19What's the word I'm looking for?
14:21I'm not gonna help you. This is hilarious. Let's see if we can find the cafeteria and get real coffee. Sure
14:27We're going to the cafeteria to get some coffee. You want anything? I'm fine
14:31It's nice that they're getting along your girlfriend and your ex-girlfriend hanging out together. Oh, yeah, that can only be good for you
14:40What are you talking about one of them broke up with you do you really want her telling the other one why I
14:49Don't care I have anything to hide good good then you've nothing to worry about
14:57No, I do not
15:02You are a mean little man
15:05You'd think it'd be because my parents didn't love me but actually they loved me a great deal
15:12God that is so true. Yeah, I know right
15:17Took you guys so long. Oh, we were just chatting. It's nice. What about we're just comparing notes about how you are in the sack
15:24What if she wasn't kidding doesn't matter I'm the king of foreplay
15:45God I feel ridiculous in this dress. You look beautiful lieutenant. Uh-huh
15:51Now prepare for
15:54Inspections
15:56My brother's going to hear you relax, he's got headphones on and we're 10 miles above earth in a starship
16:04Really 10 miles you're orbiting inside the atmosphere
16:08Moron
16:10I'm wearing my brother's Halloween costume. I
16:14Can't believe you think he only wears it on Halloween
16:18Open the landing bay doors shuttlecraft approaching
16:23Hidden reality takes on a grand question. Is our universe the only universe you see?
16:31There's a growing belief among scientists like me that ours may only be one among many universes
16:37Populating a gigantic cosmos in the hidden reality. I explore this possibility without
16:43presuming any knowledge of mathematics or physics on the part of the reader
16:47hysterical
16:50I'm glad you talked me into this. We work so hard. Sometimes. It's nice to goof off and do something silly
16:56Every you know, wait, will you hear how he dumbs down Werner Heisenberg for the crowd? You may actually believe you're in a comedy club
17:04Think about Heisenberg's uncertainty principle much like the special order menu that you find in certain Chinese restaurant
17:11Where you have dishes in column a and other dishes in column B
17:14And if you order the first dish in common, you can't order the corresponding dish in column B
17:18That's sort of like the uncertainty principle, but I'm bum