Baylen Out Loud S01 E03
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00:00That's a spicy weenie guys. I do not need an exorcist. Okay, I've gotten the same DM
00:0512 times in the past two days about this doctor in Egypt that does
00:09Exorcisms and that I need to go I can assure you I'm fine, and I don't need it
00:16Sure, yes, sir drop and fuck off
00:18I am in the United States Air Force and I have a relocation coming up here in a couple months
00:24I cannot leave and fly across the country in the middle of training
00:29The only way we're seeing each other is if you come to me
00:32Plane rides are already hard enough, and I've never flown alone
00:37Colin is my soulmate, but I will have a tic attack right there in the airport and everyone will watch
00:43We're cutting the chicken with plastic knives. They're kid-proof
00:47She wants independence at all costs. I got invited to another event hosted by the Tourette's Association of America
00:55They asked me to speak on their panel
00:58It's in Dallas, but like I'm definitely worried about the airport
01:01If you have to go through a little bit of darkness through this airport or whatever it is
01:06Then just do it. It is literally essential that Baylen gets out of her comfort zone because standing still isn't gonna do anything for her
01:16Because I'm so anxious about flying everything is triggering your dad has a vagina
01:22Oh each experience at the airport expect the unexpected I
01:28Have a gun. Oh good. I have a gun. I have a gun. Oh my god. It's right there
01:46I'm even more
01:51Oh my neck's getting tired
01:58We are headed to TITCON in Dallas
02:01Which is a convention for people who have Tourette's so I might be able to meet with doctors that are able to help me
02:07And I'm gonna be speaking on a panel which is a really big deal because I've never spoken publicly before
02:14I'm nervous because I didn't prepare anything and to get there we have to fly
02:19Which I hate doing but if Colin gets relocated and can't come back to see me
02:24I'm gonna have to come see him. So this is like a test run
02:30Stress and we haven't even moved
02:35I have a gun
02:43Oh my gosh, this is not happening. I have a gun
02:52Your whole body felt like your heart just sinks into your gut and you're like, oh my god, they're gonna send us to a back room
03:05It's hard as a mom to get through these moments with Bailin
03:09Particularly if she wants to be independent get her own apartment eventually
03:25Thank goodness the TSA agent laughs it off
03:28But like you look at a situation like that and you're like, how is this girl ever going to move out on her own?
03:35But at least for right now we're in this together
03:39Let's get situated so you can go take your medicine
03:48Because I'm so afraid of heights I
03:50Have to take pills to knock me out on the plane or else I will be ticking the whole way
04:00It should absorb under your tongue and it'll it'll just hit your blood-brain barrier quicker
04:09I'm feeling it
04:13This tastes disgusting. Oh
04:17My gosh for real you're so dramatic
04:20We really need these meds to work because we know from past experience that things could go downhill really quick
04:28Bull jangles
04:36You want to be over the window
04:40Oh
04:41Bailin has to fall asleep on this flight. It's better for her. It's better for the fellow patrons
04:47Plus you'll be totally exhausted when we get to Dallas. It's better for everyone if Bailin sleeps. We're all gonna die
04:56But we still have a ways to go
04:59Ladies and gentlemen, please pay attention before you
05:07Oh my god, this is the worst
05:13Why
05:22Boy
05:28Turn the body out
05:41Thank God that's over with we're super excited to be here ready to meet doctors and other people with Tourette's syndrome
05:52But Bailin was up so early and is essentially running on fumes at this point
05:56And she has to speak on a panel as soon as we get to the convention
06:00I just hope she can make it through because too much stimulation and overexertion can certainly backfire. Oh my god
06:07It feels so good
06:11Welcome to Texas. Yeah, I mean we're here
06:15How are you feeling about speaking on the panel, I mean, I know that you're you're gonna have some stress
06:23Yeah, I
06:25Know this could be a lot for you because there's so many noises and sounds and grunts and I
06:31Get to see a whole bunch of Bailin's
06:34That and it's like a normal situation that I cried about for two years and then I look at all of y'all together and it's
06:40Like oh my gosh
06:42Vaginas, it's raining vaginas. She wasn't a weirdo Jaina's. This is a legit situation
06:48I'm sorry. You thought I was weird for two years only two years not weird only
06:54It's raining vaginas, there's vaginas hanging from the White House. Oh
07:03That specifically came from walking out onto a patio
07:07where it happened to be raining and I thought in my head about the movie cloudy with a chance of meatballs where
07:14Everything is raining from the sky during certain times and I already tick about vaginas and penises a lot. So
07:22Just comes together
07:40All right, baby, we're running out of time girlfriend, let's go
07:47It feels so nice in here
07:49So nice
07:51This was definitely
07:53Engineered by a woman wait, why because there is two vanities
07:58Okay, you're showering
08:00Yeah, he's app just slowly. It's just slip your mom. We're sketching 1040. Can you take a 20-minute shower?
08:08Mm-hmm. All I'm doing is washing my hair. Okay, I'm timing you okay
08:19Hi, how are you? Good? How was your trip in? Oh long but worth it. I'm actually
08:29Excited but I'm not prepared
08:31I've been never spoken like in front of people who also have Tourette's so I don't really know how well it will go with
08:40The back and forth with the tics
08:42There's this thing called echolalia, which is where I repeat tics that other people say
08:49I want to keep pushing past my comfort zone to prove to people that I can be independent
08:54But at this point, I hope I don't crumble underneath my anxiety
09:02Okay, everyone we'd like to get started so please take your seats
09:09First I want to welcome everyone to tick on 2024
09:13Today this panel will focus on lessons learned from living with Tourette's syndrome in the public eye our panelists
09:21Bailin Dupree yes advocate Aidy Smith who is our TAA global ambassador. Mr. Peter Antico
09:28director and stunt coordinator and Quincy Roche linebacker for the Minnesota Vikings and TS advocate
09:35He built like a linebacker. Take a picture. It'll last longer. I agree. It will last longer. Thank you, baby
09:41Let's kick it off
09:43I'm not at all surprised that Bailin is up there and she's ticking that's expected in this sort of a situation
09:50But I'm concerned that she's gonna overdo herself
09:53This is Bailin's first time speaking publicly at a big event and this is a big moment for her because
09:59Only a few short years ago
10:01We weren't even sure how to get through a day and now here she is on a panel trying to help others
10:06But Bailin's ticks are really escalating
10:08I think just being in front of a crowd like this with a lot of other people ticking is really getting to her
10:13So it's it's about to get real probably
10:17One of the things that many people in our community struggle with is that they feel like they're being treated differently
10:22What advice would you have for the best way for them to be seen for their authentic selves?
10:28I would always urge you to embrace yourself. I mean, there's a lot of people out there
10:32I would always urge you to embrace yourself. I mean never let nobody tell you what you can be in life
10:37I'm like I used to put in my elementary school
10:40Yearbook, I put I want to be a professional football player, you know, I'm here
10:44I am today you could be nationality be president. You'd be whatever you want to be
10:51I would I would add to that as well. And that was that's beautiful
10:54I would add to that know that it's okay to not be okay with Tourette's some days. It's plumbing hard. It's painful
11:01We'll be in tears some days
11:03But what we learn from our Tourette's the empathy the emotional intelligence the cultural awareness
11:09That is what sets us apart from everyone else and that's what creates and allows us to be such beautifully kind-hearted
11:16Individuals, so if you have a dream go out and chase it and don't bloody let anyone tell you you can't do it because you are
11:23capable
11:27Listening to the men on the panel speak my tics are
11:31Definitely more active than there's
11:34They're well prepared. They're very sophisticated and know exactly
11:42What to say and
11:44Me, I don't know. I have no idea
11:47I've actually never been so anxious in my freaking life because they all of a sudden one picks up the mic and I'm sorry
11:52Do we have I'm sorry. This is the most intelligent man. I've ever seen ever heard and then there's me
11:57All right, Bailin one of the
12:01That I think makes your videos so popular is that you inspire people with your willingness to be open about what you're going through
12:10Why do you think it's important for people living with TS to be free to share the challenges?
12:16They face both the good and the bad
12:19Hi, my name is Bailin
12:23I have a penis. I have a nine-inch penis
12:26I
12:30It was really really hard to
12:40I completely forgot what I was talking about. Um, but going forward with
12:56A
12:59Criminal offensive side I
13:05Need a second
13:13My tics are so bad my neck hurts so bad like it's just not getting better
13:18I can tell that Bailin is low on sleep
13:22Overstimulated hasn't eaten. I worry that when Bailin pushes herself things can go really south real quick
13:40Yeah
13:51Why
13:53Don't you just tell the story of why you originally started to share I
13:59put myself on social media because I was followed around a
14:04store and I was videotaped from a girl and
14:09She posted the video. I hid from the internet. I was hiding from my friends. I
14:16Never left the house. I was in therapy four days a week
14:21I
14:23Because I couldn't even look at myself in the mirror because I thought that my Tourette's made me ugly I
14:33Wanted everyone else in the Tourette's community
14:39all say
14:41To not feel alone like I did
14:45my tics aren't the same as yours and your tics aren't the same as mine, but
14:50we're one community and
15:13The panel went great because
15:15Bailin
15:16Wasn't prompted or rehearsed in any way shape or form
15:19She was completely organic and I'm pretty sure she made a lot of the parents and the TS
15:27Afflicted kids in the audience tear up because he's real and she's humble and she's vulnerable and I have a nine-inch penis
15:34She doesn't
15:37You want to see yeah, it was awesome. She did a great job
15:41There's a lot of kids out there that I've forgotten about that don't speak up and don't know how to it's sad
15:54And I'm really glad that I'm able to share who I am in my journey
15:57And it's now I'm able to keep going with spreading awareness because it's so misunderstood
16:04I'm Bailin
16:06Jake from State Farm. Hi Jack. Hi Luke. Nice to meet you all
16:10You've been a huge inspiration to our family
16:13Like I sat there crying while you were talking because Jack's tics are so similar to yours
16:18We've never met anybody like both of you. So it's very inspiring
16:24Thank you
16:30Oh
16:36I
16:40Don't have a lot of friends. I don't really feel like I have a place but to be here I
16:49Have never felt more welcome
16:51comfortable and at peace with not only myself but just in a safe environment and
16:57I can't wait to hang out with my hopefully new friends soon
17:02Oh
17:03We've literally in 11 years never met any other parents with a child with Tourette's
17:08So we had neither until you had it because are you always like we're always starting like how do we do this right as parents?
17:15Yeah, how do we say the right? Yeah, cuz I'm like, she's still got to be an adult. She's still sufficient in society
17:20She's gonna do whatever I'm like, I know but if we can help her over here
17:24Yes, like we'll be her cushion to fall back on to but we need to equip her with everything that she needs to do
17:31To like put herself in the world and walk through stores and get stared at and like you've got to go through all those emotions
17:39You can't one of our goals and coming here is to obviously
17:43Connect with other people that can relate to us because I felt alone
17:47For quite some time. So I'm so excited to talk to other parents. I love it. I could talk to everybody here. I
17:53Have a little bit of bailing in me
17:56Sometimes I don't stop I want to I want to get drunk with other parents. I'm just kidding. I just wanted to throw that in there
18:04You will not put that on you will cut that
18:18I
18:20Have been non-stop all day go go go go go go go go go go and keep going. I
18:30But I miss Colin and I just want to call him really quickly before I go to bed for the rest of the day
18:41Hey, babe, I
18:44Just got done speaking for the panel discussion. I was just kind of
18:49Unprepared penis
18:53But like I felt like nothing was everything was just blank
18:59Yeah, and my tics are so bad my neck hurts so bad especially like all the way
19:06It's the same thing. Like it's just not getting better
19:10I'm always in pain from tics pain is very common to have with tics, especially when you're
19:19Doing whole body neck tics and it's like going to the gym and working out the same thing all
19:28Day but I met some really cool people and I'm really excited because they said that they want to hang out
19:38What I hope that Baylen gains a tick on is just friendships
19:42She has struggled a lot trying to find friends
19:45But at the same time I can tell that Baylen is low on sleep
19:50Overstimulated hasn't eaten and I worry that when Baylen pushes herself things can go really south real quick
19:57Another thing is me and my mom are gonna be talking to a doctor soon get more wisdom or knowledge
20:04I mean, they're educated I
20:08Know I'm excited. I definitely have a severe case of Tourette's
20:14So one of the reasons I wanted to come to ticcon was to meet with doctors because I really want to get my own apartment
20:21But that means being able to control my tics better
20:24My first line of treatment was medication and the medication was great for my tics
20:29But terrible for my mental health my well-being on the other end. So
20:34Hopefully they're able to give me some guidance
20:37We support the Tourette's community peace love and penis around the corner up the boob out the tube, bitch
20:44That's a tick I haven't heard before
20:46That's a new one from four years ago
20:51It came from Burke so that's it came from your brother Burke
20:56Yeah, Katie that tick
20:59Burke said when he was like 15 years old
21:03So the fact that that you pulled that from the far back. Yes, all this that was it was going it just kept going
21:11through the tube out the boob
21:14Through the corner out the tube out the boob. You excited to hear it when I get back. I
21:20Love you
21:23Around the corner out the boob out the tube
21:27Around the corner out the boob out the tube
21:33Today we're meeting with dr. Hermit at who works with the Tourette Association of America and she is an expert in Tourette deep brain stimulation
21:40It's a brain surgery. So it is quite invasive
21:42That's the last resort like they literally drill into your head with a drill
22:03Julie and Baylen are still out at the convention. And so I'm here holding down the fort with the three younger boys
22:10I got into woodworking when I was a young kid working on my father's house when gosh
22:15I was probably eight or nine years old that for me is my therapy
22:19Most of my time is dedicated to the kids in the family and especially Baylen
22:24Plus I work for the federal government. So as stress builds up. I got to try and really find time to do some work
22:32I
22:38Know Julie's doing a good job taking care of Baylen, but I really worry about Baylen when she's gone. I have to keep myself busy. I
22:47Found buried treasures. Yeah, let me see that one
22:51Thanks, buddy. What are you making?
22:53There one of you guys should take this to go put this in the garage. That one's ready to go
22:57When's mom and bae coming back they should be back Sunday night Baylen's gone for a couple of days at
23:06You're literally laughing
23:08It's not my fault
23:09You just keep looking over here at me when you're trying to say something just go when Baylen's gone for a couple of days
23:13At tick on so obviously I miss her. You said tick on you said tick on
23:19Gun to con so back in tic con. You're so cringe. It's not
23:27I'm kind of looking forward to them getting back here. I like the chaos. I like it noisy
23:31I like it chaotic because that's what I know. Everyone's home. Everyone's healthy
23:36Everyone's doing their thing when it's quiet. It makes me wonder what's going on. Why are you being so quiet?
23:42Yeah, it's been relaxed. It's it's gonna be loud
23:46What's the word for it? I don't have to watch for language not to worry about it. If that makes sense freedom. Yeah
23:52Yeah
23:53Freedom for my words when we're around Baylen
23:56We do need to watch our words and stuff because she can pick up on tics or learn new things
24:02And she can like copy off of Sammy said make dicks or something like that
24:07And now she says that
24:10Unbelievable, you just rip ass
24:15Yeah, I know you guys like it quiet like this, but I don't what are you laughing at I know you guys
24:22You're gonna get used to it. You're gonna have to he wants to move out
24:25Well, Baylen's got a lot to prove to us before she goes and you know hits the street
24:30So to speak what makes me the most grateful is just being a dad
24:34I wanted as many kids as I could have once I held that first kid. It was over for me
24:39I cut that cord it was done. I was like, this is this is fantastic. So when the kids move out, I'm very
24:46Emotional about it, but with Baylen it will really bother me because I'm not there
24:52Should something happen to her?
24:54Guessing head off and go get me some more wood. Go over there. Keep busy. All right
25:00Thanks
25:18Are you super excited
25:23I
25:27Am excited I am if you can't tell
25:31Today we're meeting with dr. Hermit at who works with the Tourette Association of America and she is an expert in Tourette
25:37Baylen wants to move out and be independent
25:39But I won't feel great about that until she has better control over her tics. I have tried several different medications
25:47however, the side effects
25:50Aren't worth taking and I'm also doing semen therapy to work on my vocal tics
25:55And now we training your brain to say I don't have to tip I can breathe instead
26:00But it's an extremely slow process. So in meeting with dr
26:04Hermit at the hope is that she will give us some sort of a solution that we haven't thought of yet
26:09All right. So how can I help you guys today? What's going on?
26:12All she's done is she has the diagnosis and we're still in the now. What do we do face? How does she?
26:19Independent because I because there's so many other areas than my tics or my Tourette's in my life
26:25That's a way worse than that like OCD ADHD
26:30Right. So 86% of people living with Tourette's syndrome live with other conditions like OCD anxiety and ADHD
26:36The best analogy I can give is that living with Tourette's is like living in a car and there's really four people in the car
26:43It's tics. It's OCD
26:45It's anxiety and it's ADHD right and
26:49sometimes tics are driving and anxieties in the passenger seat and then the next day can be like
26:54OCD is driving and ADHD is in the passenger seat
26:58OCD is driving. Oh, see he's driving always like my tics are always there
27:03But then I start adding the threes and then I'm like, okay, I need to start hitting myself more
27:08It's just two more times three more times six more times
27:12OCD is always driving
27:14Anxieties behind no
27:17anxiety
27:18Anxiety is behind OCD and ADHD is everywhere
27:30It's just literally like me against my thoughts every day, oh my god, I don't want to leave I do want to leave
27:38I can't leave because this isn't clean because this isn't done. Yeah, it's not only the OCD
27:43Everything controls my life. That's right
27:45The anxiety makes the OCD worse the ADHD going out in public makes my tics worse. That's right. It's
27:54You're fighting it every day and then I see myself a completely different way that everyone else sees me
28:02And it's I've never hated
28:05Anyone in my entire life. I've never just liked anyone in my entire life other than myself
28:11And I don't know why yeah, like I love God and I love Jesus
28:17And I know that he made me the way that I'm supposed to be and I know that he thinks that I'm perfect
28:23But in my eyes, I don't see that and I want to see that. Yeah, like I just want to stop
28:31Struggling from myself. Yeah, I know. I know and I just worse critics. Yeah, we're gonna work on that
28:39We're gonna put together a plan. I
28:42Am passionate about working with the truck community because they are literally
28:45Superheroes living in mere mortal bodies and those superpowers or that they're highly sensitive
28:50They're highly perceptive and they're highly intelligent and that's actually backed up by science
28:55So yeah
28:56She has profound tics that other people might see when they walk past her and it's very apparent that her tics are impairing
29:02But she's still highly sensitive
29:04She's perceptive and she's intelligent and because of that I think that's what makes her so connected to this community
29:11Is that she's living authentically?
29:13So are there some current treatments that maybe Baylin and I don't really know about yeah
29:18So as you guys know treatment line one is what's called CBIT
29:22Comprehensive behavioral intervention for tics a lot of people with TS are also on medications, right? So those are really considered
29:30Traditional interventions for tics and you can also do more invasive processes like DBS, which is deep brain stimulation
29:37So it's a brain surgery. So it is quite invasive. The success rate is about 30 to 50 percent
29:43So DBS is kind of like a pacemaker, right?
29:46So I'm pretty much there's an instrument here and then an instrument placed where we know that tics live in the brain and these two
29:53Instruments talk to each other. So is it essentially the same?
29:57Sort of mechanism treatment they use for like Parkinson's similar crazy
30:01It's incredible because really the brain is an electrical instrument, right?
30:05So what that kind of pacemaker type tool does is interrupts the whole tictoretic process
30:10Lots side effects related to that
30:12But often those that are exploring DBS are willing to take a chance on those side effects because their tics have become so profound and so
30:20Impairing it's kind of like all the traditional stuff that we know last resort
30:24Deep brain stimulation surgery, I'll never get okay
30:27Like they literally drill into your head with a drill and I could pull up a picture of the drill they use
30:33But it's literally a drill that my dad has in the shed with an attachment piece. That's about this yay long
30:41That's a big barbecue
30:43BBQ
30:45And they just you know
30:47drill into your head
30:49My pushback would be good therapies invasive, right?
30:52I mean not brain surgery
30:53But like seabed in a lot of ways is playing with brain electricity, right?
30:57Because what we're doing is we're queuing the frontal lobe to get our executive functioning in line, right?
31:02So we're still changing brain electricity and brain chemistry, but it's through a behavioral therapeutic process, which is just wild. I
31:10Have an open mind on any sort of treatment because Baylon wants her independence
31:15But being at this conference
31:17It's become even more apparent to me that Baylon's case even stands out within the Tourette's community
31:23And seabed is great
31:25To help her stop cursing in public and whatnot
31:28But it won't necessarily stop her from touching a hot stove or harming herself and then having to do it three times
31:34So as a parent, I would like to at least push her to get more of the intricate information in regards to dbs
31:42Vagina
31:55Let's go Baylon shoot straight I have no aim but we'll go for it. It don't matter
32:01Strike strike one
32:04You hit the ball this time today i'm hanging out with a couple people I met from the convention and i'm so excited
32:16Let's go, there you go
32:23Shut the fuck up
32:26Shut the fuck up
32:28Shut the fuck up
32:30Shut the fuck up
32:32Shut the fuck up i've never
32:35Hung around with more than one person with Tourette's even going out
32:40of the conference
32:41So i'm excited
32:42Around the corner through the boob out the tube around the corner through the boob out the tube
32:46Around the corner through the boob out
32:53Okay
32:55Yeah
32:58See she's got the best look of us all i'm prepared olivia's ready for the golf course
33:04That was a good swing. Uh-huh. Oh boy. Get out of here you donut
33:10I want to see our best baseball throws. I was worried that the other people there with Tourette's would set my tics off
33:17Turns out tics can come from everything even the camera
33:22just
33:24Don't make me throw it at you
33:36Sorry
33:45Best baseball game i've ever played
33:48So obviously like a lot of our tics look different
33:51I mean like my tics don't look like your tics your tics don't look like calum's tics like yeah, like yeah
33:55But we all have Tourette's but we all have Tourette's we are a family. I have a coughing tic. You have a vagina
34:02Sorry, I love that
34:03I didn't realize that I had Tourette's
34:06OCD where like I have to do things like a certain amount of times or like something bad will happen
34:12I was diagnosed when I was seven
34:14um and my dad
34:18After I was uh
34:20Literally said I wanted it. Do you need more napkins? We can get more napkins. This is safe space. Errol's got a hammer. Errol's got a hammer
34:27I have a gun
34:29I was diagnosed when I was seven, but I think my tics were very mild and then my dad went in and they were like
34:38mark
34:41He was diagnosed after I was that's
34:44Insane that your dad went that long without any answers any answers. It's crazy
34:49Yeah
34:50the hardest part about living with
34:53Tourette's syndrome, I think would just
34:56I don't know on hard days, you know wishing that
35:00You weren't here anymore, but
35:02Experiences like this not only changes but saves lives because you know you
35:08Find your people you realize that hey, I have people just like me who understand what i'm going through and I you know
35:16I
35:17can
35:19Do this
35:36I've met some amazing moms here over the last day and a half and I just wanted to really like just connect with them
35:44What was the funniest tic your kid ever had though, I mean bailyn clearly tries to find some level of humor she does
35:54If you don't laugh you cry
35:56So you have to laugh. Oh some of the things they've said some of the things jack has were like
36:01And you don't want him to think you're laughing some sort of a weird sexual. Oh, yeah
36:05Where did that come from? Was it deep down in or are you doing something? I don't know
36:09All right
36:13How about callum he had one tick really early on
36:17Uh where he would say I paid five dollars for that ferret
36:21And we didn't have a ferret and i'm pretty sure that's a bargain. Hayden is 11
36:27He wants therapy animals because he loves stuffed animals, right? So he said sweetheart, right? I want it
36:32I want a therapy bird, but my goodness
36:36The bird chirps all day long and hayden now chirps
36:40All the time because he picks up on it. And so that's his therapy. He talks to his bird
36:46That's a wonderful non-medication way to deal with your chicks
36:51What other things like have your kids had for yeah, what is everyone doing for treatment? We are doing it
36:56Callum did it and if you ask him he'll tell you see that was
37:00Helpful for him and in december 2022 he had deep brain stimulation surgery they
37:08Drilled holes in his head
37:10Um, he was asleep the entire time then they turned it on after it was like a little over three weeks
37:16And so like when they turn it on is it like an instant? Yeah, like what happened?
37:20I'm, so curious
37:21They only do one side of the brain under the time and if you know anything about the brain if you turn to the right
37:25Side the left side is impacted. Yeah
37:27And so she would be like, how does that feel and he'd go like this and one hand would be steady and the other one
37:32Would be going. It was really wild. What do you think his reduction is?
37:36He would tell you that he estimates 70 to 80 percent reduction. Wow
37:41Like he used to punch himself eight nine hours. We had to take him to the er and they would have to sedate him
37:48It's super cool to hear how successful
37:51Callum's dbs
37:52Was for him because I want to take balen down every route possible to see if there's a way for her life to be made
37:58easier
37:58But deep brain stimulation is a pretty invasive treatment and balen is the one that has to sign on the dotted line
38:06She's an adult now and she's the one that has to figure it out in the end
38:13Callum how old were you when you got deep brain stimulation? Uh 16. I was 17. So it got
38:21Really bad that was the complete last. Yeah dbs is the severe the severe. Oh, I know. Oh, I know
38:28And how how much how much better do you think your life has been since getting it a lot better?
38:33I'm able to have like hang out with my friends more somewhat go in person to school
38:38Are you in less pain? Yeah, like most of my motor tics went away after the surgery. Like I still have the sickly simple
38:44It's mostly just vocal and like that's I mean, I want to say that's great. But I mean
38:49Trouble what are you thinking about it?
38:57It's like i'm here and it's in utah so it's like I have other options first like i've been deceived it but I need to
39:06Do more for myself and for my comorbidities
39:12I'm so happy for callum. You can truly see that dbs has changed his life
39:18But the surgery is a no for me
39:22We could get all the way through it wake up from surgery and it could not do a single damn thing
39:27fun
39:31At this point i'm just scared of the unknown
39:38Oh, oh my gosh, yeah. Oh, yep. Okay. Okay. It's okay. It's okay. You're okay. I need ice
39:48You
40:00Oh my gosh
40:04Yeah, yeah, yep, okay. Okay. It's okay. It's okay. You're okay. She's going to get it
40:10I don't know
40:14You're okay, you're okay, it's gonna be okay. I know no, you're not gonna say I'm not gonna let you
40:35I just really need you guys. She just needs ice ice. Okay, she needs ice like really bad
40:40Thank you for that. How can we get ice?
40:45This tic attack is definitely the worst one that she's had
40:48She's gonna get really badly hurt if I can't hold myself together
40:55I'm sorry. No, no, you're fine, honey. Don't worry about me. I need ice
41:10Yeah
41:18I mean it was rock bottom. It was rock bottom
41:21I'm more concerned that if she has one of those tic attacks to that extent
41:25And no neither of us are there
41:29What do you think of this city I love dc there's so many things to do
41:34It is like the perfect place to be at least
41:38For me closer to you, I mean about that, I think we should have a talk
41:46Shut up
41:48She is not easy to live with
41:50There's a lot all day every day. You're pissed. You don't like colin. No, i'm concerned. Oh for who?
41:57for everybody
41:58penis
42:00Hey
42:01Y'all made it. Yeah, my parents are very conservative and religious
42:06One of my favorite ones is but seek ye first the kingdom of god and his righteousness
42:10And all these things shall be added to you. So
42:13I'm, very nervous because we're sitting here reading the bible and then little do we know we're holding the secret and
42:19Trying to hold tics in jesus. Take the wheel
42:22I'm pregnant
42:30You