The Red Dead Redemption 2 Situation is Insane

Metatube

USE CODE 'Max0r' FOR 10% OFF GAMER SUPPS: https://gamersupps.gg/Max0r  Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/max0r Follow me on Twitter! or... X, I guess. https://x.com/realmax0r Join the Max0r Discord!  https://discord.gg/max0r Twitch: https://www.twitch.tv/max0r  Arthur voiced by Evan Maple: https://bsky.app/profile/evanmaplevo.com Dutch voiced by Quinn Stokan: https://hirethisman.com/ John voiced by Gianni Matragrano: https://www.getgianni.com/ Sean voiced by Macrackle:  @Macrackle  Ms. Grimshaw voiced by Fumei: https://www.twitch.tv/fumeihue  This video contains "The House of Leaves" by Kevin MacLeod, which is free to use with credit. This video contains “Living in the dark” by Myuu, which is free to use with credit.  0:00 I Do Not Condone Dangerous Acts 1:49 No one likes Chapter 1 2:04 Chapter 2 8:29 Great American Entrepreneurs 15:58 Everything you know and love will die soon 16:05 I love living in the greatest country on Earth 21:47 This is Tahiti, trust me 23:18 Ballad of a thousand candles 30:51 Our Red Dead Redemption, too

Transcript

00:00Drunk driving. You know it, you love it, we do not condone it in any way, shape, or form.

00:08No matter how funny it is, I am neither encouraging my viewers to booze, nor to cruise.

00:15But I am going to commit several felonies that have not been invented yet.

00:19Red Dead Redemption 2 is the greatest drunk driving simulator that I have ever played,

00:24with a funny cowboy game attached to it.

00:26And I've gotta say that compared to the various liquored laborings and inebriation

00:30transportations, that the cowboy part is pretty alright too.

00:33Taking place in one of the most massive, beautiful, and fleshed out worlds in gaming,

00:38with the greatest protagonist I've ever experienced, the greatest villain I've ever seen,

00:43and the most hated villain I've ever seen, if I have only played one singular video game.

00:48And considering the absolute size of this bitch, that is a possibility.

00:53Of course, that is Red Dead Redemption 2 before the miraculous experience that is

00:57modding the game until John is building his house during a violent insurrection.

01:01So if you are new to this channel, please allow me to describe to you the premise of this video.

01:06I do not explain games. I do not make them easier to understand.

01:10I add to the mystery of not playing the game by continuously spreading misinformation about it.

01:15And I am going to back up everything I am saying with the most legitimately unhinged

01:19video evidence that is so absolutely choreographed, so meticulously constructed,

01:24that I have planned out every single angle, for every single shot, in this video.

01:30And sometimes, I will make the screen do this.

01:33So join me as we recount the themes, story, and gameplay of this fantastic software,

01:38as experienced through the dying brain of a schizophrenic man,

01:41where we will learn nothing, accomplish nothing,

01:44and flat out black out by going full throttle at empty bullets.

01:48Starting with Chapter 1.

02:01Everyone hates Chapter 1, so we're gonna skip that shit.

02:04Ah, I broke the goddamn wheel!

02:16Flying down from the tutorial in a completely random direction,

02:19the gang finds themselves in the beautiful, wide-open countryside of New Hanover.

02:24Representing new opportunities, green pastures,

02:27and a fresh start for all the kidnapping and murder that we have intently planned on fitting.

02:32I can see absolutely no consequences for this, as Dutch is a very stable man.

02:43To emphasize our newfound freedom from the parasitic authorities,

02:49the game offers us a great deal of discretion,

02:52allowing us to terrorize the public with various methods hitherto unknown by quantum mechanics.

02:56And if I decide that I want to sit here for two hours and smoke 500 cigarettes,

03:00then it is my god-given right to do so.

03:02The Founding Fathers died for this shit, and now so will I.

03:06For an example of just one night I had in the town,

03:08I dragged a man through a river of human shit,

03:11antagonized random dudes on the street,

03:13entered the saloon,

03:14got absolutely plastered on gasoline,

03:16got into a bar fight,

03:18lost in a bar fight,

03:19quickly made an exit by flying through the window,

03:21and discovered the amazing risk-free joys of drunk driving.

03:25This is not an endorsement of dangerous behavior,

03:27as the beer actually improves your driving skills.

03:3080% of crashes are caused by sober drivers.

03:33But what makes Blue Dude Bamboozle,

03:35Green Theme Reconvene,

03:36Yellerfeller Endeavor,

03:38Blacksack Get'em Back,

03:39and Turquoise Purloined Embroiling 2

03:42into a really fun series of games that I will be cutting between at random intervals

03:46is the fact that public harassment in this world is not only entertaining and morally justifiable,

03:51but is in fact extremely profitable,

03:53as about 90% of all minor altercations will end in a gunfight,

03:57making the ensuing murder and kidnapping a reasonable act of self-defense,

04:01and giving me the obligation to ensure their property is returned to its rightful owner,

04:06exactly as the Founding Fathers intended.

04:08Speaking of being highly profitable and courteous to our fellow man,

04:12if you happen to be a big fan of the root of all evil,

04:15then this is essentially the perfect software,

04:17as all gameplay mechanics,

04:19story,

04:19and general premises of this game revolve solely around the acquisition of money,

04:24making this possibly the most realistic game ever set in America.

04:28You can make money by exploring the map.

04:32Actually, never mind.

04:34Don't do that.

04:35It's a little snowy out here.

04:37Committing highway robbery that never actually works.

04:40Committing highway murder.

04:42Riding into a ranch and skinning every single animal.

04:46Slowly.

04:48Old McDonald fucking had a farm.

04:50Turning into a bird and asking people for seeds.

04:53Robbing a train.

04:54Evading the pursuing gang stalkers.

04:56Stealing the entire train.

04:58And reminiscing on the beauty of America's once fabulous high-speed rail network.

05:03As well as helping numerous individuals,

05:05actively begging the player for a taste of delicious lead.

05:08But by far the most efficient way to make money is also the avenue by which you spend.

05:14We are fucked.

05:15And no, I am not referring to gambling again,

05:18though that is a very efficient and safe prospect,

05:21as I reserve the right and privilege to summon 90 Cheetos whenever I lose a hand.

05:25But rather through engagement with the various schemes and heists

05:28made available by our fellow criminals.

05:31Which of course will have no long-term consequences,

05:33as Dutch is very eager to employ us.

05:36Because yes, though I do in fact work for an extremely high premium,

05:39our main task is not only the advancement of our wealth,

05:42but that of our entire camp of quirky characters.

05:45Who after routinely performing Balkan-level massacres for,

05:48and donating millions of dollars to the max-level camp,

05:51will have Dutch turn around and tell me that we need to do just one more tour.

05:55And that he needs just a little more money,

05:57as he has spent the entire camp budget on fucking candles.

06:01Someone who is good at the economy, please help me!

06:04My plan has fallen apart!

06:06Well Dutch, have you tried not spending so much on candles?

06:09The candles are a key part of my plan, Orchard,

06:13and I find it disrespectful that you're bringing them up again!

06:17Frankly Black Lung, I don't think I can see enough around here.

06:20Blacka, I would appreciate it if you fucking killed yourself.

06:23As you can probably tell by this point,

06:24the only thing more batshit than the basic gameplay is the advanced gameplay.

06:29Moving from location to beautiful location,

06:31and chronicling the story of the Vanderlyn gang,

06:34as they literally cannot stop killing people.

06:37Or most accurately, cannot stop ordering you to kill people specifically.

06:41Like, there's this mission in-game where I'm escorting women to the store,

06:44I met a girl in Berryville, can't get her in, cause she won't stay still!

06:48Made me reconsider my opinion on the franchise.

06:51It is truly incredible how much faster draft horses were in 1899.

06:55Dude, this car kicks ass!

06:57And I can watch Madagascar while I'm driving!

07:00For another example of a productive money-making activity,

07:03my favorite mission is definitely the one where you go to the saloon,

07:06and get so shit-faced that you begin to be haunted

07:08by the numerous ghosts of your dead friend Lenny,

07:11whose accident was unavoidable,

07:12yet the regret still haunts our protagonist to this day.

07:15I could go on.

07:17But if I were to talk about all the missions,

07:19we would be here for an extended runtime,

07:21longer than the entirety of Breaking Bad,

07:22with 20 hours to spare.

07:25So forgive me if my insane rambling happens to pass over some details,

07:28like the amazing side quest where you play as the secret gang member,

07:31Bones Vanderlyn,

07:33who honestly was a pretty positive influence on the gang overall,

07:36and had a lot to say about anti-skeleton racism.

07:39And I know this is going to piss off a lot of my viewers,

07:41but these guys deserve reparations,

07:43and my channel is no place for the calcifobic.

07:46Rather, we are instead going to focus on the overall story of the gang,

07:50and how it closely parallels the failure of the nation once known as America.

07:54Should interest rates become more lopsided,

07:56they will buy Italy next.

07:57The broad fields of New Hanover, therefore,

07:59represent to the gang and to the player a pure,

08:02wholehearted expression of radical freedom,

08:04made possible only by the wide-open countryside,

08:07slavery,

08:08and the elimination of all those who stand in our way.

08:11Just like in the real America,

08:12which historically killed up to 8 million people to grow corn,

08:16and we would do it again.

08:19Do not be alarmed though,

08:20I have absolutely no issues with the American government,

08:23because my true enemy is the American people,

08:25and there is still so much pain yet to inflate.

08:29Let me have a rule and a solid for the night

08:32I don't know where the hell we are,

08:35but you are going to be king, Arthur, you hear me?

08:38Sure thing, Dutch.

08:40Sure thing.

08:58Take every oil wagon I can get, done.

09:08So after a laborious moving process

09:10involving the careful transportation of the women and children,

09:13we find ourselves exploring the wonderful,

09:15peaceful civilization of the state of Lemoyne.

09:18Meaning, of course, that I am blessed with the unique opportunity

09:21to discuss the topic of race relations in the post-Vellum South,

09:24a task which was apparently so hard for the devs

09:27that they simply set all plantation workers to be white people,

09:31so as to bypass the issue entirely.

09:33You will be working on your own land, you fucking Yakubian experimenter,

09:37but we here on the Maxxor channel are not ones to sugarcoat real history,

09:41nor are we going to disguise the horrors sadly inflicted on the skeleton race.

09:46This being said, I can completely understand,

09:48as a historically accurate Arthur Morgan

09:51would in fact be throwing the hard R faster than he throws his bullets.

09:54Arthur, can you explain what the hell you just did to me?

09:58Well, Dutch, I just don't understand why I can't say it.

10:02I mean, Lenny says it all the time.

10:04You can't say that word in camp, Arthur.

10:06It's just, it's just not our word, okay?

10:08You're gonna have to trust me on this one.

10:10Of course, I'm allowed to say it,

10:12because I am the special boy who can say the special racism, but like...

10:16You can say it.

10:17More importantly, Lenny's a skeleton now,

10:19so honestly, at this point, you're being bigoted in two ways.

10:22The Vanderlyn gang might be murderous,

10:24genocidal, kleptomaniacal,

10:26and against every form of law and basic reasoning,

10:29but we are not going to do a hacking racist arena,

10:32and you will be forced to play the side mission

10:34where Bones and Lenny form a unique relationship of racial solidarity

10:37in opposition to the ruling capitalist class,

10:40and Arthur is just kind of like,

10:41you know, I feel pretty oppressed too with all the police chasing me,

10:44and Bones just kind of responds with,

10:45I'm sorry, Arthur, but you just wouldn't understand.

10:48Now, up until this point,

10:49I have been disguising a few important gameplay mechanics from you,

10:52which are all very important steps for Orchard to be Red Dead Redeemed or something.

10:56I wouldn't know.

10:57I didn't play the game.

10:59All this footage is from my secret evil twin,

11:01starting, of course, with your health,

11:03representing the ability to get shot,

11:05which is restored by intentionally getting hit by small bullets

11:08so that you eventually build a resistance to big ones.

11:11Your stamina,

11:12which is restored by stealing the food and cocaine present in unattended houses,

11:17and most interestingly,

11:18the Deadeye Meter,

11:20representing your ability to kill everyone

11:26very quickly,

11:27and a skill which I have hitherto not shown in the video

11:29because it is really bad looking on camera,

11:32unusually restored only by copious amounts of drinking and smoking,

11:36which means that, yes,

11:37drinking is not only used for the arduous task of vehicular operation,

11:41but is also a core gameplay mechanic,

11:43utterly vital to the flow of combat,

11:45and necessitating the vast majority of my dad's income

11:49when I was seven years old.

11:51Although you can't really blame the guy

11:52since there are 13 different ways to drink alcohol in this game

11:55and zero ways to drink water.

11:58Speaking of not drinking any water and rapidly filling my stamina bar,

12:02one of the best and most effective ways for Arthur to boost his endurance

12:05is the consumption of a special item known as Gamersup's Energy Drinks,

12:09which has this really cool mission about it

12:11where Arthur and Hosea offer the people of Rhodes

12:13various unique flavors of energy at only 40 cents per serving.

12:18Okay, everyone shut the fuck up.

12:20Causing the local townsfolk to clamor into the video description

12:23where they will use code MAXOR with a zero for 10% off all products,

12:27featuring a wide assortment of delicious energy flavors

12:30such as the Chug Juice,

12:32Guacamole Gamerfart 9000,

12:35and Grandma's Ashes,

12:37which are all of course real flavors that you can actually buy.

12:40Filling the local populace with so much energy

12:42that they enter a transcendent state of productivity

12:45known as getting fucked up on the subs

12:47and attracting the attention of the local authorities

12:49at the presence of such criminal deals.

12:52Hundreds of people may be dead now,

12:54but that is how I keep the price low.

12:56Speaking of offering criminal deals and maintaining a defense against inflation,

13:00I probably should have mentioned by this point

13:02that Red Dead Redemption takes place in a fictional universe

13:05where those who rightfully commit mass murder and arson

13:07are attacked by a special gang called The Police,

13:10who actually try to stop you from doing crimes.

13:14And the main plot of this game is centered around this very conflict.

13:17You might call it battery and assault,

13:19Dutch calls it keeping the rent low in our neighborhood.

13:22Law's been honest for a good time now, Black Lung.

13:25Maybe now's not the time for you to be hanging around.

13:28Yeah, maybe Sean shouldn't be using that stupid Reddit page so much.

13:31No, come on now, Arthur.

13:33Reddit is my favorite website.

13:35Well, can't say he didn't deserve it.

13:37This is, of course, in great contrast to how it is in real America,

13:40where the police exist mainly to evict single mothers.

13:43But in the hyperbolic and unrealistic world of Tancan Revenge 2,

13:47the police primarily try to stop you from killing people,

13:50cause you to kill more people in self-defense,

13:53shrug their shoulders three hours after a crime is committed,

13:56and then send about 20 bounty hunters to annoy me instead.

13:59Founded upon a system of bystanders and crime reports,

14:02meaning that if a person happens to observe your misdeeds,

14:05you are subtly encouraged to terminate the remaining witnesses.

14:09Sorry that I talk about everything in a really roundabout way,

14:11but, uh, you kill them.

14:13You drag them off cliffs, you shoot them,

14:16you make Julius Caesar look like a fucking joke.

14:18But aside from just stabbing all your problems away,

14:21there are two different methods to ensure that the police at least temporarily leave us alone,

14:25which I am fairly interested in doing,

14:27considering that I need to repeatedly go to the bullet store for no particular reason.

14:32The first, of course, being to simply lawfully surrender,

14:35and to successfully resist the temptation to reach for your gun,

14:38at which point you will be serving a $320,000 bounty for

14:4210,000 counts of murdering officers,

14:441,002 counts of murder,

14:46437 counts of abduction,

14:483 counts of inducing vapors,

14:5149 counts of horse inversion,

14:539 billion counts of assault,

14:55and at least 40,000 DUIs.

14:5840,001 DUIs.

15:00And the second is to just pay off your debt to the state in cash,

15:04which usually totals to about one-third of the money you stole.

15:08Yes, I did calculate it.

15:10Yes, I did invest it on the cowboy stock market.

15:12And yes, I did lose it all on Blackjack.

15:15Because this isn't actually about paying your debt to society.

15:18It's about your cut to the IRS,

15:20which of course begs the question,

15:22if the gang is constantly being pursued by the police,

15:24and if that is a problem for us,

15:27why doesn't Dutch just go to the post office and pay his bounty?

15:30Is he stupid?

15:32The tranquil terrain and red roads of Georgia, therefore,

15:34represent the gang's ideal rebellion against a world far too civilized

15:38and far too willing to catch serial arsonists.

15:41Though, just like in the real America,

15:43everything is going to go downhill from here.

15:46And everything we do from this point forward is a raw statement of abject cruelty.

15:51It is all we have done.

15:52It is all we will do.

15:53The rapture happened in the year 2015,

15:56and three people were sent to heaven.

16:00Actually, uh, never mind.

16:02Everything is going to go really great.

16:06Because Dutch just texted me in Blue Archive and told me that he has a plan.

16:10We are going to Tahiti or some shit.

16:12Dutch, I am Arthur, and I am fucking constipated with tuberculosis.

16:15And, uh, I can kill people.

16:17I can legally kill people and shoot them.

16:19Let's fucking do it, Arthur.

16:21There she is.

16:25A real city.

16:29The future.

16:34Exactly.

16:51So after doing, uh, whatever that was,

17:11I made that shit and I still don't know what I did.

17:13We awaken on the polluted shores of the city of Saint Denis,

17:17a major municipality of boundless beauty and classy commerce.

17:21Commerce that makes literally no sense,

17:23as Saint Denis' only route to the ocean takes us over a gigantic-ass waterfall.

17:31Which, no doubt, would complicate the gang's escape to Tahiti in unforeseen ways.

17:36Why are there so many boats here?

17:38Who is putting them in the harbor?

17:40How can they get to the harbor?

17:41I have nobody to talk to about this.

17:44So to escape the consequences of our crimes and get to said tropical paradise,

17:48Dutch has a well-thought-out plan.

17:54I think Dutch hit his head a little too hard.

17:57Where we need to, that's right, commit even more crimes and get even more money.

18:02What could possibly go wrong?

18:04But first, we need to enter the big city by putting on an elegant disguise.

18:08Utilizing the game's extensive and normal customization options to

18:12convert to Islam and, with God's help, play the rest of the game as the changed man,

18:17Abdullah Morgan.

18:18Which, although a powerful build option with a variety of unique abilities,

18:22unfortunately means that I'm required to abstain from drinking.

18:26So instead, we are just going to play the entire rest of the game looking like this.

18:32I, uh, this is entirely for gameplay purposes.

18:36The Pinkertons are simply very unlikely to see this and conclude that it is human.

18:40Someone send the police after me because this shit is an actual crime.

18:44Now, other than role-playing as a recent escape from the Sandini Zoo,

18:47there are many new kinds of entertainment which we can seek in the heart of the big city.

18:52Such as one, perhaps even two types of gambling and

18:55antagonizing the women's suffrage movement for some reason.

18:59But if we are desiring the true urban experience,

19:02there is no better place to be than the local theaters containing a myriad of

19:06impressive vaudeville shows featuring fire-breathing dancers,

19:10exquisite comedic routines,

19:122250 rabid grizzly bears,

19:15and a musical performance about the existence of the telephone.

19:21Damn, that shit is gas.

19:23Finally, capping off with an act in which the performer asks you to shoot him

19:28and then gets mad when you shoot him.

19:30As well as enjoying the novel and unusual Nickelodeons

19:33where the eunuch film pincher cuts his images very quickly.

19:36I'm really excited for the new movie, I say with excitement.

19:40Little did I know, it would be a feature.

19:44A creature feature.

19:46Featuring the creature.

19:50Though my personal favorite component of the American city experience

19:53would be catching a terminal illness and then going into permanent medical debt for it.

19:58Which, as we all know, was the ultimate goal of the founding farters.

20:02Really, Red Dead Redemption 2 is just a game that is absolutely brimming with a

20:06frankly unnecessary amount of detail.

20:08So much so that it can sustain an entire YouTuber ecosystem

20:12whose job it is to point out things that are in the video game.

20:15And yes, while I might be a little bit guilty of that,

20:18the difference with my channel is that my videos are puzzles

20:21where you try to find the correct information.

20:23Like for instance, did you know that in Blue Dude Bamboozle 2,

20:27in the mission where Sean dies, you will notice that his horse is missing.

20:30This is a subtle nod to the fact that in just a few moments,

20:33Sean's brain will also be missing.

20:36Did you know, if you happen to shoot a shopkeeper in the face,

20:39they will appear again with a large bandage but still serve you.

20:42This is a subtle reference to the fact that they have forgotten us

20:45as a consequence of the brain damage.

20:48Did you know, horse testicles do in fact shrink when cold.

20:52That is actually in the game, and I will not show you it.

20:57Can we uh, can we do the next fucking joke please?

21:00Did you know, that if you shoot Javier, stab Dutch,

21:03cannonball Strauss, burn Sadie with a molotov,

21:06drag Micah off a cliff, explode Ms. Goodshot,

21:09tie up Lenny, punch Mary Beth into the atmosphere,

21:12drag Hosea from the horse, throw an axe at Abigail,

21:16give radiation to Kieran for being a Hibernian,

21:18perform a duel against Jack, drown Pearson,

21:22run over Bill with a stagecoach, and insult John in front of his family,

21:26God, look at you fools.

21:28John will be very mad with you.

21:30But my favorite detail in the entire game is that if the player donates $40,000 to the camp,

21:35and if this is before Dutch receives the traumatic brain injury

21:38that coincidentally makes him listen to Micah,

21:41the gang will finally have the money to journey down the waterfall

21:44and wash up unexpectedly upon the beautiful shores of Tahitian.

21:49Where after a long and arduous day of holding the W key for four minutes straight,

21:53and one minute gay, allows you to access the game's optional happy ending,

21:58where the Vanderlyn gang comes together to perform their very first land acknowledgement,

22:03followed by a brief four more minutes of walking in chains

22:06as an apology for doing slavery and white settler colonialism.

22:10Adding the island quest to the game was certainly a choice,

22:14definitely a decision, indubitably a determination,

22:18and if I was Rockstar Games, I would probably try not to build a two-foot prison

22:22for the player to show off my extinct iguana modeling

22:24and how bad everyone is at shooting things.

22:29How the fuck did I miss?

22:31But ultimately, it is a necessary prison for us to discover the deep underlying truth.

22:36Tahiti was never truly a place.

22:38It was an elaborate hallucination, and where good cowboys go to a farm upstate.

22:43Therefore, just like the rest of America,

22:46Arthur Morgan is now doomed to achieve only the worst possible outcomes,

22:50and will thus persist in defying all of the civilized world merely by continuing to live.

22:56Frankly, it is time for us to accept the facts.

22:59We are not going to escape civilization.

23:01We are not going to Tahiti.

23:03And I am an agent of the Antichrist.

23:06My videos are mediums for dark spirits, and that is how I get the game to look like this,

23:10leaving us with only one pressing question for us to finally address.

23:16What the fuck are we even doing right now?

23:20Mmm...

23:28After playing for two hours inside of the definitely optional side quest

23:31that definitely takes place in Tahiti,

23:33Arthur Morgan returns to the accursed land of America

23:36with a new optimistic outlook on life and the universe,

23:40leading him to retire from the outlaw life

23:42in order to pursue his true passion of stalking and killing innocent animals.

23:46And with an excessive 234 different species,

23:49Each with their own excessively long skinning animation, which the developers worked very hard on,

23:54so please watch the entire thing.

23:55We will not let you skip it.

23:57Each kill is a digital blood sacrifice to Satan himself.

24:01There is certainly a lot of hunting to be done,

24:03and a lot of places to travel in the meantime,

24:06such as in the gleaming forests of Roanoke Ridge,

24:09where we bravely fought 10 to 20 copies of Jack.

24:12Oh, Arthur.

24:14I was just starting to dream the silliest, softest of dreams.

24:19I miss you, baby.

24:21In the dank swamps of Bayou Noir,

24:23where I was killed and eaten by many alligators.

24:26In the sunny plains of West Elizabeth,

24:28where we extincted the last remaining buffalo,

24:31dooming us to interminable environmental collapse.

24:34In the beautiful vistas of Big Valley,

24:36where we shot at the hordes of perfidious Irishmen,

24:39an invasive species not native to this area.

24:42And in the deserts of New Austin.

24:45In the year of 2010,

24:47my dad bought a game for me called Red Dead Redemption 1,

24:50wherein I refused to play the actual game,

24:52because I was too busy slaughtering and skinning all available farm animals in a 10-mile radius.

24:58Not to sell their skins, mind you,

25:00just for the love of the game.

25:02Which I did dutifully and elegantly for the next five hours,

25:05until my dad told me that in order to keep playing the game,

25:07I had to stop doing that.

25:10And as Arthur traveled all across these United States,

25:13meeting numerous people,

25:15and killing numerous more,

25:17he dwelled on all of the things that had brought him to this moment.

25:20And realized with an uncomfortable clarity,

25:23that this was stupid.

25:25That no matter how many crimes he committed,

25:27no matter how much money he donated,

25:29it was never enough to satisfy Dutch's insatiable need.

25:33An insatiable need...

25:35to buy more candles.

25:37And the more that Arthur gave to him,

25:39the more candles he always seemed to acquire.

25:42All the while, the man standing behind his shoulder,

25:45the man who fed into his worst impulses and darkest fears,

25:49was not the brightest wick in the candle store.

25:53And as Arthur gazed into the fireplace,

25:55wondering how he could have been so blind,

25:58and how he could be left in the dark for so long,

26:01as if a bright candle had just illuminated his darkest night,

26:05he had finally come to the realization,

26:08that he alone had the power to end this vicious cycle.

26:12And that he alone had to put a stop to it,

26:14once and for all.

26:27So as he rode that long ride back to Roanoke Ridge,

26:31as he remembered every struggle that had come before,

26:35and all the people who had helped him get there,

26:38and yes, I am counting skeletons as people,

26:40he knew that this...

26:42was going to be his Red Dead Redemption 2.

26:49For the PlayStation 4.

26:52That's the way it is...

26:58That's the way it is...

27:03Hurry! Lot of candles. Hurry!

27:06We just got plenty of time, Micah.

27:10Time to discuss our finances.

27:13Black Lung, you're back. Hooray.

27:17Ahem. Ahem.

27:20That is quite a bed of candles, Dutch.

27:24No doubt expensive.

27:26Now Dutch, I...

27:28can hardly blame you on accounting your traumatic brain injury, but...

27:32as for Micah...

27:34well...

27:36Micah's just fucking stupid on his own.

27:39You know we need the candles, Black Lung.

27:42We don't.

27:43That's a goddamn lie, Dutch.

27:46Dutch, think of the value.

27:48What fucking value, Micah?

27:50They're an investment, Black Lung.

27:53It all makes sense now.

27:56No.

27:57It damn well doesn't.

28:02Dutch.

28:03Think.

28:04Dutch.

28:06It's getting pretty dark out, you wanna...

28:08buy some candles?

28:10Dutch!

28:12Ugh...

28:14You left me.

28:16You left me to die!

28:18My boy.

28:20That was literally the point.

28:23You're fucking weird.

28:24What?

28:24Can you go away now?

28:25What the fuck?

28:27Perhaps I'm not the only one with brain damage.

28:29That's right.

28:31Because I also hit my head too hard in a trolley accident.

28:35All that and so much more, Dutch.

28:38For fucking candles!

28:40Be quiet, cowpoke.

28:43Be quiet.

28:44You live in the dark.

28:45Excuse me, um...

28:46I've been trying to contact you regarding a free trial to the new...

28:51What?

28:52Now!

28:56Who among us...

28:57Among us?

28:58...is with me?

29:04And who...

29:06...are you again?

29:07God, I'm sorry!

29:08Dutch.

29:10Don't do this.

29:12You can't sell them, they're just gonna melt!

29:15He's lying.

29:17He is lying, Dutch.

29:21You ain't babies!

29:32Come on, Arthur.

29:33Tahiti's just ahead.

29:34Fuck off.

29:37No.

29:38I ain't taking directions from a deadbeat.

29:40Come on.

29:41You go.

29:43Arthur, I told you I'd get to my child support payments after we got out of this mess.

29:47I love you, random side character that I just met today.

29:52Now...

29:54I'll hold him off.

29:57Here.

29:59And promise me that you will go drunk driving at least once.

30:04I guarantee you it is...

30:06...quite the experience.

30:10Now, go!

30:12Arthur!

30:13So that one fateful day...

30:15Arthur!

30:16...you can achieve your Red Dead Redemption too.

30:22You're my brother.

30:25I don't know who the hell you are.

30:27They should make a sequel game about you or something.

30:30Fuck it, I don't know.

30:37Hey, partner, I got a headache. You got some ibuprofen?

30:59This one's for you, Arthur!

31:01I'm going into Haiti!

31:07Hey there, guys, it's me, Side Character Maxxor,

31:10out here building John's house during the middle of an actual riot.

31:14Listen, this has been a very long video with a diverse amount of visual effects,

31:18and I just want you to know that these take a very long time to make.

31:21This and the last video took a lot out of me because my workday is about 10 hours long

31:25in order to finish 30 seconds of video,

31:28mainly because every single shot in this video has around three failed prototypes,

31:32and that shot of John flying into his house had to be repeated maybe 12 different times.

31:37So, uh, be patient with the next project, please.

31:40I could just be making slop right now, but I choose to make garbage instead.

31:44And on that note, a big thank you to all the people at my Patreon,

31:48who are the only reason that a video like this can be made in the first place.

31:52And if you want to fund the creation of further questionable endeavors,

31:55the link to do so is in the description.

31:57I am still working on creating Maxxor merchandise, but again, I am one person,

32:02and this video has basically put me on the edge of a mental breakdown.

32:05As always, more insane gacha game content to come,

32:08and I hope that all of you have a very lumbago tahiti or something.

32:12Fuck it, just play this game already.

32:14Cruel, cruel world, must I go on?

32:19Cruel, cruel world, I'm moving on.

32:24I've been living too fast, I've been living too wrong.

32:31Cruel, cruel world, I'm gone.

32:35This big old world, sure got me running round.

32:41Heard a voice, it told me something.

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