Music has been central to Edward Cooke’s entire life.
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00:00Good afternoon, my name is Phil Hewitt, Group Arts Editor at Sussex Newspapers and also
00:06Chairman of the Festival of Chichester, and fabulous again to speak to our new Principal
00:11Sponsor at the Festival of Chichester, Edward Kirk Family Law. Now Edward, we've spoken
00:16so much about why music is so important to you, but it's really important in your work
00:21context isn't it? It's part of the de-stressing of the mediating job that you do in law. Where
00:28does music fit in, in that respect? Yeah, I think music and mediation, there are definitely
00:32parallels in terms of the work we do, about communication, about listening, those skills
00:40that you learn as a mediator, sorry, as a musician, you also practice as a mediator.
00:46And you're right, it is a de-stress, I think, for a lot of mediators and family law professionals.
00:51We work in a stressful world where we're dealing with people's traumas day in, day out, and
00:56for me personally, going home in the evening and listening to music, playing music, I think
01:01it can be hugely, hugely calming, and also for our clients as well, you know, going through
01:06difficult times, I think for them as well. So I think there are definitely links between
01:10music and mediation, absolutely. As a mediator, you are in the middle, let's
01:15say, between a couple, aren't you? You are not on one side or the other, you are not
01:19giving legal advice, you are with them trying to find a way forward. How do you approach that?
01:26Well, there's a range of ways of approaching it. In a sort of traditional mediation setting,
01:31I would be in a room with the couple together. So I would have them in the room together,
01:36and we would have a number of sessions through which we'll talk through the impact of their
01:40separation, how they're going to structure arrangements, how they're going to talk to
01:44the children about the separation, how they're going to sort out financial issues, whether
01:48it's where they're going to live, financial support, how they're going to deal with the
01:51family business, pensions, there's a whole range of things. So in a traditional setting,
01:56it will be very much them in a room with me. But increasingly, I'm doing a lot of mediation
02:00online as well. And as a practice, we've got five mediators in our practice. We do a lot of
02:04mediation around the country online with couples, and particularly since the pandemic, there has
02:09been, I think, a realisation the court system is broken. It's not a great place for families to be
02:14anyway, to be honest, it should be a last resort. And with that, the growth of technology, I think,
02:20has given a real opportunity for mediation online. And so I do a lot of mediation online now,
02:25and some of that mediation is less traditional. So it's not where the couple are in a room together,
02:29but quite often, they will be dialling in from different parts of the country.
02:33And we'll be doing on Zoom, and we'll be doing it very often with their lawyers there as well.
02:39So the way that works is, I can mediate people in separate rooms online, with client A being there
02:47with their lawyer in one breakout room, client B being in another breakout room with their lawyer.
02:54And often in quite high conflict situations, I will then shuttle between the rooms and strive
03:00to enable them to reach an agreement. And that can be a far less stressful experience for people,
03:05actually, than going to court and reliving the trauma of the breakdown of their relationship.
03:10And Edward, you were saying something really striking just now, you are dealing with people,
03:14at their lowest ebb, people in traumatising situations, most difficult situations in
03:19their lives, potentially. You're saying that from all this, you retain an optimism about human
03:25nature. That's quite something, isn't it? I really do, actually. And I think mediation
03:29can be immensely powerful. I mean, I sometimes do mediations where people have been in conflict for
03:34two or three years, you know, they may have been trying the traditional route with lawyers,
03:38writing lots of letters to each other, getting very positional. And it's not a criticism of
03:42the lawyers, that's just that's their job, to some extent, is to represent their client's
03:45positions. But things can become very entrenched. And when you get people into mediation,
03:50particularly in the sort of creative mediation models I've been explaining this morning about,
03:55you know, mediating online and mediating with lawyers, they're supporting the process and
03:59enabling me to shuffle between rooms to try and find solutions. I am optimistic. And because,
04:05you know, I've seen many cases that you really don't think are going to get resolved, do get
04:10resolved through that medium. One particular technique that I use as a mediator is what's
04:15called hybrid mediation. And in hybrid mediation, I'm able to go between rooms, have private
04:20meetings with each party and their lawyer, and really find out what's going on behind the
04:26negotiation lines, because I'm able to hold confidences. And holding a confidence means I
04:31can find out where they may be willing to settle without passing that back to the other room.
04:37And that can be immensely powerful in terms of resolving really quite intractable and long
04:44running disputes. So I think as a result, and when you see people come out of that, you see
04:49the weight being lifted off their shoulders and being able to find a way through and, you know,
04:53and then hopefully be able to be parents with their children in the future, which is incredibly
04:58important. Yeah, I do feel very optimistic about the power of dialogue and about mediation.
05:04It sounds an immensely challenging job, but also an immensely rewarding one. And thank goodness
05:09you have music to support you through. Yeah, absolutely. And music is a total joy. I mean,
05:14you know, I feel very lucky to have music in my life. And a lot of my colleagues have other
05:20hobbies. But you know, I think I always encourage all my team to do what they enjoy outside,
05:26because I think it's incredibly important that we all have hobbies, immersive hobbies,
05:29whether it's art or music or cooking or whatever it may be. I think we all live,
05:36not just in my work, but I think across the whole range of professional jobs and other jobs,
05:41you know, we all have our stresses. And I think we all need to have ways of unwinding.
05:46And for me, that particular way of unwinding is music.
05:50Absolutely, which is, of course, part of the power of the Festival of Chichester, isn't it?
05:54It really is. It is a powerful. And I think I'm sure lots of people taking part in the Festival
05:58of Chichester, for them, it's, you know, the great thing is a community festival. And it's a,
06:02for me, I've taken part in the past, it's a great, it's a great outlet for people to,
06:07to express themselves creatively and perhaps things they wouldn't be doing in their day job.
06:12And, and to get together and enjoy music, enjoy all forms of the arts, dance, and, you know,
06:18theatre, and all the things that we're passionate about in a really, in a really
06:22constructive and enjoyable way.
06:25Well, once again, really thrilled that you are our principal sponsor for the
06:292020 Festival of Chichester. Edward, always great to speak to you. Thank you.
06:33Thank you, Phil.