POV your Dad with the family dog

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Dad's best friend? 🐾  MERCH: https://manitowocminute.com/collections  Follow me at these places:  Twitter: @CharlieBerens Instagram: @CharlieBerens Facebook: www.facebook.com/charlieberensTV TikTok: @CharlieBerens  Threads: @CharlieBerens   For more Manitowoc Minute click here: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLRY-eAwoPfKBdGfuDu081r-bSMapeg0GB

Transcript

00:00We are not getting a dog.

00:01The hell is that?

00:02A cat.

00:03Shut up.

00:03Did you buy that?

00:04No, mom didn't.

00:05So I did.

00:06We're taking that thing back.

00:07Where's the receipt?

00:08Come here, Hank.

00:08What?

00:09You named him Hank?

00:09The hell is the matter with you?

00:11You're supposed to name him after something you like,

00:13like pickled eggs or Prilosec.

00:15Hey, Hank.

00:16You know what these things do?

00:17They chew.

00:17Ow!

00:18God!

00:18F**k!

00:19We got a lot of good wood in this house,

00:21and that thing's got teeth.

00:22You know what happens with wood and teeth?

00:24Yeah, they don't go well together.

00:25We are not keeping them.

00:26Honey, can you come here for a second?

00:28You stay right here.

00:29What's going on with the dog?

00:30We're not returning the dog.

00:31I said no dog.

00:32And now I'm being undermined here.

00:34You get to keep your lazy boy.

00:35We get to keep the dog.

00:37Okay.

00:37That's that.

00:38Mm-hmm.

00:38I make the rules.

00:39Where do you get to make the rules?

00:40In the garage.

00:41In the garage.

00:41Yeah.

00:42Oh.

00:42Mm-mm.

00:43Real good.

00:44Waste of money.

00:44Oh, you bite my finger.

00:45I'm going to bite yours.

00:47You like that?

00:48Get out of here.

00:52We're keeping the dog,

00:53but there's going to be some ground rules.

00:54The rules of the house are he is your dog.

00:56You feed him.

00:57You walk him.

00:58You pick up his poop.

01:00Oh, good Lord.

01:01Unreal.

01:02How do you even make something this big?

01:04It's supposed to be the kid's job.

01:05Unbelievable.

01:06He humps your pillow, not mine.

01:08I want this dog potty trained

01:10by the time I get back from the hardware store.

01:12What he does to the carpet,

01:13I'm doing to your PS5.

01:14Am I clear?

01:15You spill all the time.

01:16Oh, yeah?

01:17Well, does this dog pay the bills?

01:18Hey, knock it off.

01:19You see that?

01:20He spiked my camo slip.

01:21When that dog is paying a 30-year fixed-rate mortgage,

01:24well, then he can piss wherever he wants.

01:26Oh, great.

01:26Now he's peeing on my lazy boy.

01:28All right, I'm glad these rules are respected.

01:30Well, at least you got a hunting dog.

01:31He's not going hunting.

01:32Oh, he is going hunting.

01:33If he's sleeping in this backyard, he is hunting.

01:36Dad, he's sleeping in the bed.

01:37Ha!

01:38No, not happening.

01:39He's going to sleep outside

01:40so he builds up his coat like a dog should do.

01:42That's a wolf, for God's sake.

01:46Tell me that dog's not wearing a scarf.

01:48It's cute.

01:49Did you just say cute?

01:50He's not cute.

01:50He's a wolf.

01:51He doesn't need a scarf.

01:52He's got a fur coat.

01:53Mark my words.

01:54That dog is not sleeping in the house.

01:56What in the hell is this?

01:57Good God.

01:58Is this Tempur-Pedic?

01:59For God's sake, how much do we spend on this?

02:01Dog's got a better bed than me.

02:04Oh, I know you're not sitting on that couch.

02:06That's what I thought.

02:07I'm the alpha here.

02:09Don't you talk back to me.

02:10It's my house.

02:14That's how an alpha dog barks.

02:16One day you'll get there.

02:18Paws off the couch.

02:20Don't make me raise my voice with you.

02:22Do I need to put this in language you'll understand?

02:28That's what I thought.

02:29If you're going to be in this house, you're going to know the rules.

02:31Sit.

02:32No, put her there.

02:33There you go.

02:34Do not bite the hand that feeds you.

02:38You do not talk back to me.

02:42Yeah, that's what I thought.

02:43You come at the king, you best not mess.

02:45Freaking mess in here.

02:46This dog's got more toys than I did growing up.

02:49What the hell is the matter with you guys?

02:51Is this mine?

02:52Did you guys cut this off my rack in the basement?

02:53We weren't using it.

02:54It was full of dust.

02:56Come here.

02:57All right.

02:58See you got some treats.

02:59Sit.

03:00There you go.

03:01Shake.

03:02Good.

03:03And you look me in the eyes when you shake.

03:04He makes better eye contact than you.

03:05What the hell's wrong with your generation?

03:06What?

03:07Is Timmy stuck in the well?

03:08Oh, well, let's go get him.

03:09Come on.

03:10Now, are you stuck?

03:11For God's sake, it's a table.

03:12Find your way out.

03:13Freaking inbreds, I tell you.

03:14Oh, you've got to be kidding me.

03:16That's it.

03:17I specifically remember it saying,

03:18we got a lot of good wood in this house

03:20and he is not to chew it.

03:22Don't you dare give me that look.

03:23Dad, he didn't mean it.

03:24What are you, a dog whisperer?

03:251, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7.

03:27I'm 25 teeth marking this.

03:29I think he meant it.

03:30You know, I'm not Sarah McLachlan, pal.

03:32It's going to take a lot more than $2 a day

03:34to save your sorry ass.

03:35He is gone.

03:36Do you hear my words?

03:37I want him out by the end of the day.

03:38Dad, I thought you said no dogs are allowed on the couch.

03:41Well, you pipe down.

03:42I just got your brother to sleep.

03:43Hey, hey, hey, hey.

03:44Come on.

03:45Shh.

03:46Oh, who loves you, huh?

03:48He's just jealous he can't catch like you.

03:51So roll out the barrel and get the band brewing.

03:54Come here, buddy.

03:55You are the son I never had.

03:57Dad.

03:58Oh, you're still here?

03:59Hey, go take the garbage out, for God's sakes.

04:00What, you've never seen snow before?

04:01Come on.

04:02Do your deal.

04:03We're not here to play.

04:04We're here to do business.

04:05Quit sniffing around.

04:06Make Abe Lincoln proud.

04:07What, now you're going to bite me after that?

04:09Then you want to go?

04:10Huh?

04:11Put your paws back up.

04:12Life's got you down.

04:14Just keep her moving.

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