• 5 hours ago
Dad's best friend? ๐Ÿพ

MERCH: https://manitowocminute.com/collections

Follow me at these places:
Twitter: @CharlieBerens
Instagram: @CharlieBerens
Facebook: www.facebook.com/charlieberensTV
TikTok: @CharlieBerens
Threads: @CharlieBerens

For more Manitowoc Minute click here: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLRY-eAwoPfKBdGfuDu081r-bSMapeg0GB
Transcript
00:00We are not getting a dog.
00:01The hell is that?
00:02A cat.
00:03Shut up.
00:03Did you buy that?
00:04No, mom didn't.
00:05So I did.
00:06We're taking that thing back.
00:07Where's the receipt?
00:08Come here, Hank.
00:08What?
00:09You named him Hank?
00:09The hell is the matter with you?
00:11You're supposed to name him after something you like,
00:13like pickled eggs or Prilosec.
00:15Hey, Hank.
00:16You know what these things do?
00:17They chew.
00:17Ow!
00:18God!
00:18F**k!
00:19We got a lot of good wood in this house,
00:21and that thing's got teeth.
00:22You know what happens with wood and teeth?
00:24Yeah, they don't go well together.
00:25We are not keeping them.
00:26Honey, can you come here for a second?
00:28You stay right here.
00:29What's going on with the dog?
00:30We're not returning the dog.
00:31I said no dog.
00:32And now I'm being undermined here.
00:34You get to keep your lazy boy.
00:35We get to keep the dog.
00:37Okay.
00:37That's that.
00:38Mm-hmm.
00:38I make the rules.
00:39Where do you get to make the rules?
00:40In the garage.
00:41In the garage.
00:41Yeah.
00:42Oh.
00:42Mm-mm.
00:43Real good.
00:44Waste of money.
00:44Oh, you bite my finger.
00:45I'm going to bite yours.
00:47You like that?
00:48Get out of here.
00:52We're keeping the dog,
00:53but there's going to be some ground rules.
00:54The rules of the house are he is your dog.
00:56You feed him.
00:57You walk him.
00:58You pick up his poop.
01:00Oh, good Lord.
01:01Unreal.
01:02How do you even make something this big?
01:04It's supposed to be the kid's job.
01:05Unbelievable.
01:06He humps your pillow, not mine.
01:08I want this dog potty trained
01:10by the time I get back from the hardware store.
01:12What he does to the carpet,
01:13I'm doing to your PS5.
01:14Am I clear?
01:15You spill all the time.
01:16Oh, yeah?
01:17Well, does this dog pay the bills?
01:18Hey, knock it off.
01:19You see that?
01:20He spiked my camo slip.
01:21When that dog is paying a 30-year fixed-rate mortgage,
01:24well, then he can piss wherever he wants.
01:26Oh, great.
01:26Now he's peeing on my lazy boy.
01:28All right, I'm glad these rules are respected.
01:30Well, at least you got a hunting dog.
01:31He's not going hunting.
01:32Oh, he is going hunting.
01:33If he's sleeping in this backyard, he is hunting.
01:36Dad, he's sleeping in the bed.
01:37Ha!
01:38No, not happening.
01:39He's going to sleep outside
01:40so he builds up his coat like a dog should do.
01:42That's a wolf, for God's sake.
01:46Tell me that dog's not wearing a scarf.
01:48It's cute.
01:49Did you just say cute?
01:50He's not cute.
01:50He's a wolf.
01:51He doesn't need a scarf.
01:52He's got a fur coat.
01:53Mark my words.
01:54That dog is not sleeping in the house.
01:56What in the hell is this?
01:57Good God.
01:58Is this Tempur-Pedic?
01:59For God's sake, how much do we spend on this?
02:01Dog's got a better bed than me.
02:04Oh, I know you're not sitting on that couch.
02:06That's what I thought.
02:07I'm the alpha here.
02:09Don't you talk back to me.
02:10It's my house.
02:14That's how an alpha dog barks.
02:16One day you'll get there.
02:18Paws off the couch.
02:20Don't make me raise my voice with you.
02:22Do I need to put this in language you'll understand?
02:28That's what I thought.
02:29If you're going to be in this house, you're going to know the rules.
02:31Sit.
02:32No, put her there.
02:33There you go.
02:34Do not bite the hand that feeds you.
02:38You do not talk back to me.
02:42Yeah, that's what I thought.
02:43You come at the king, you best not mess.
02:45Freaking mess in here.
02:46This dog's got more toys than I did growing up.
02:49What the hell is the matter with you guys?
02:51Is this mine?
02:52Did you guys cut this off my rack in the basement?
02:53We weren't using it.
02:54It was full of dust.
02:56Come here.
02:57All right.
02:58See you got some treats.
02:59Sit.
03:00There you go.
03:01Shake.
03:02Good.
03:03And you look me in the eyes when you shake.
03:04He makes better eye contact than you.
03:05What the hell's wrong with your generation?
03:06What?
03:07Is Timmy stuck in the well?
03:08Oh, well, let's go get him.
03:09Come on.
03:10Now, are you stuck?
03:11For God's sake, it's a table.
03:12Find your way out.
03:13Freaking inbreds, I tell you.
03:14Oh, you've got to be kidding me.
03:16That's it.
03:17I specifically remember it saying,
03:18we got a lot of good wood in this house
03:20and he is not to chew it.
03:22Don't you dare give me that look.
03:23Dad, he didn't mean it.
03:24What are you, a dog whisperer?
03:251, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7.
03:27I'm 25 teeth marking this.
03:29I think he meant it.
03:30You know, I'm not Sarah McLachlan, pal.
03:32It's going to take a lot more than $2 a day
03:34to save your sorry ass.
03:35He is gone.
03:36Do you hear my words?
03:37I want him out by the end of the day.
03:38Dad, I thought you said no dogs are allowed on the couch.
03:41Well, you pipe down.
03:42I just got your brother to sleep.
03:43Hey, hey, hey, hey.
03:44Come on.
03:45Shh.
03:46Oh, who loves you, huh?
03:48He's just jealous he can't catch like you.
03:51So roll out the barrel and get the band brewing.
03:54Come here, buddy.
03:55You are the son I never had.
03:57Dad.
03:58Oh, you're still here?
03:59Hey, go take the garbage out, for God's sakes.
04:00What, you've never seen snow before?
04:01Come on.
04:02Do your deal.
04:03We're not here to play.
04:04We're here to do business.
04:05Quit sniffing around.
04:06Make Abe Lincoln proud.
04:07What, now you're going to bite me after that?
04:09Then you want to go?
04:10Huh?
04:11Put your paws back up.
04:12Life's got you down.
04:14Just keep her moving.

Recommended