“I have never poisoned her against her father. I have told her everything.” Neena Gupta spoke about raising a child outside marriage and how she felt about her daughter Masaba's divorce.
Thanks to PinkVilla for the footage!
Thanks to PinkVilla for the footage!
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00:00Young girls are getting divorce because women are earning, they are not taking any shit from the man, so that's a very difficult situation now.
00:10The best part about you is that like you said that because of you being a single mother and you had a child out of wedlock, people thought that you are brave.
00:18But also there was a section, I believe back then because India was not a progressive country that we are today or that we imagine ourselves to be.
00:26You must have faced a lot of judgement, how did you deal with that?
00:31I think the love for my child made me go through all that and I mean I started working very early because I had to feed her and myself, I had no other support.
00:47But the other day I was reading somewhere about Karan Johar saying, some people saying single father, single father but he talked about his mother looking after the kids.
01:01So I suddenly remembered I was never a single mother, I was a single mother for maybe two years.
01:11Then my dad came, he left everything, you must have seen my thing, my dad came and he stayed with me.
01:19He looked after my household, me, my daughter, he was my man.
01:26True.
01:27He was the man in my life, so I said God always compensates.
01:32That's true.
01:34I didn't have a husband, so he gave me my dad.
01:37And my mother had died a long time and also I had no man in my life who was living with me or something so it was easy for him to live.
01:46Sometimes I feel I wish I had a normal family, proper, this, that.
01:52Because I had to lose a lot of things while we were all growing, me, my dad and Masaba were together.
02:00I had no time to go to a parlor, see a movie, I had no time to do the womanly things.
02:07It's not about being brave, it's about making that choice that you wanted to keep Masaba.
02:12A lot of people wouldn't have.
02:14No, the difficult part is not making a choice of having Masaba.
02:21The difficult part is to accept what you have chosen and stand by it.
02:32Yeah.
02:33That is a difficult choice.
02:35A lot of people told me at that time that we will marry you, my friends told me we will marry you because your child gets a name and all.
02:42I said what the f**k, what name?
02:45I will marry you because I can earn and I can look after my daughter.
02:52But a man makes a lot of choices.
02:56Whether it is a wrong choice or a right choice, you have to stand by it.
03:00And not beg for money or any emotional help from anybody.
03:08Then you will survive.
03:09The best thing about you is that you have been an extremely, extremely, what do I say, an ideal mother to Masaba.
03:19And Masaba in her interviews has always spoken about you in that way.
03:23But I remember that in an interview you had said, and this is a beautiful thing for a mother to say,
03:29you said that, you know, because of the decisions I made and I realized where I went wrong,
03:34I had told my daughter that listen, do not live in with a man because you might regret it like me and I didn't want.
03:42That is such a cool thing for a mother to say in today's age.
03:45I don't know how many mothers would say that to their kids.
03:47What made you think, do you share that rapport with her?
03:50And what made you actually say that to her?
03:52Did you make her feel and know the fact that you are a single mother from the very beginning?
03:58How did you make it?
03:59I have been very honest with her.
04:02At the same time, I have never poisoned her against her father.
04:08I have told her everything.
04:12According to her age, not that when she is small then I should not tell her a few things kind of thing.
04:22I have told her everything and we are now like friends.
04:27And a normal, any other normal mother-daughter relationship, we fight, we share our clothes,
04:33we share our, we have the same shoe size, thank God.
04:38There was this beautiful interview where you said that, you know,
04:40I suggested my daughter shouldn't go for a live-in because of course you guys share a comfortable relationship.
04:47How did she react to that?
04:49And how did she react to whatever you said over the ages?
04:52Like, was she comfortable in taking it in?
04:54She takes, she is that way very good.
04:57People are getting divorced so quickly.
05:00Young girls are getting divorced.
05:03Because women are earning, they are not taking any shit from the man.
05:07So that's a very difficult situation now.
05:09Men have not grown as much as the women, not grown but liberated.
05:18I mean, I just got an idea.
05:21We all say women lib, we need men lib.
05:26Men's liberation.
05:28Because he is still a mama's boy.
05:30Right?
05:31Still, no, where are my shoes, where are my towels?
05:35Right?
05:36So I think men's liberation is more needed.
05:39Women are quite liberated.
05:40Spend so much money in marriage.
05:42Work so hard.
05:44Work so hard.
05:46After that you can get divorced.
05:48Then live in.
05:50I think, I have changed my mind during the last 3-4 years.
05:58Has it come about because of her separating from her husband?
06:02Not just her separating but seeing things around me.
06:06Not just hers.
06:08I feel times are changing.
06:10Specially in big towns.
06:1299% of India is still like that.
06:16Touching mother-in-law's feet.
06:18How did you help her throughout?
06:22You know, you have been through not the same situation but a similar situation.
06:26So you have seen that pain.
06:28Did that help you keep or make sure that she didn't go through so much pain?
06:33On the contrary, she helped me.
06:36Oh really?
06:37I was devastated.
06:40And I used to talk to her and she helped me go through it.
06:47She helped me.
06:48These youngsters are very smart.
06:51Very smart.
06:52This younger generation is very smart.