What up guys! I’m Mr. Breast and I just bought this entire white void! And I’m prepared to give 20,000 diabetics a year’s worth of insulin....so long as they can outlast each other in this white void!! Alright suckers are you ready for the challenge?
Cast:
Roger Horton: Jack Hunter
Players: Shosh Brodman and Jamell Sirleaf
Crew:
Written by Sam Schaefer
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#mrbeast #youtube #parody #comedy #honestads
Cast:
Roger Horton: Jack Hunter
Players: Shosh Brodman and Jamell Sirleaf
Crew:
Written by Sam Schaefer
Join this channel to get access to perks:
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC-0dXntqR76zT7b3-iB7Q1g/join
Honest Ads Merch: https://the-cracked-dispensary.creator-spring.com
Cracked.com: https://www.youtube.com/@UCjD2KyAEm84yVH8cTilID7Q
#mrbeast #youtube #parody #comedy #honestads
Category
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FunTranscript
00:00What up, guys? I'm Mr. Brees, and I just brought this entire white void!
00:06And I'm prepared to give 20,000 diabetics a year's worth of insulin,
00:10so long as they can outlast each other in this white void!
00:16All right, suckers, you ready for the challenge? Hell yeah!
00:20Let's do this!
00:21This white void is made of pure nothingness and exists beyond the realm of human perception.
00:27But whoever outlasts the other will truly be seen as a champion of humankind.
00:33There's just one twist.
00:34We're going to subject them to terrible working conditions that we promised they wouldn't have to experience.
00:40For instance, we told them we would feed them three meals a day as per compliance to union rules and basic human decency.
00:47Instead, they're only going to get one breastable meal.
00:51But full disclosure, there's enough microplastics in there to kill an orangutan.
00:55I know because I no longer own an orangutan.
00:58Wait, people want to watch this?
01:00Yeah, there's no way this is entertaining to people.
01:03Oh, but it doesn't have to be.
01:05Thanks to this platform's patented and ultra-secret algorithm,
01:08my videos don't have to be good or quality or moral.
01:12They just have to follow a set of prescribed characteristics to ensure as many people watch it as possible.
01:18So in order to gain followers, you decided to film people competing for life-changing medical access?
01:26Well, it was either that or start uploading the Wolf of Wall Street in 30-second clips.
01:31Those are the only options?
01:33Pretty much.
01:34Isn't it great?
01:35No, this is horrible.
01:37Well, don't worry.
01:38If you don't like this video, you can follow any of the millions of greasy losers that copy my every move with increasingly diminishing quality.
01:46What's up, guys?
01:48I'm giving away 20,000 Advils to people that need insulin.
01:54What's up, guys?
01:55I'm giving away 2,000 Wasps to people with poor blood sugar.
02:01What's up, guys?
02:02I'm giving 20 people diabetes.
02:06You're a terrible person.
02:08All of you are terrible people.
02:10Well, would a horrible person give away such a good prize?
02:14Doing something charitable or good only to turn it into content doesn't make you a good person.
02:19It makes you an expletive psycho.
02:22Yeah, you should be in jail.
02:24Oh, my God.
02:26Someone just tweeted out my home address.
02:28I just got a notarized invoice for a hit someone took out on me.
02:30Yes, anyone that talks even remotely negative about me online or in the public sphere
02:36is subjected to my army of 300 million children worldwide, and they don't mess around.
02:42They'll leak your home address, send you death threats, and do it all with a book report due tomorrow.
02:48At this point, I have such a stranglehold on the youth demographic of this country,
02:52they're going to let me choose the next president in about four years.
02:55That's it.
02:56I'm out.
02:57I'm done.
02:57Oh, that's fine.
02:59Hey, where'd they go?
03:00I just sent them to a place where they'd be much happier, the echo chamber.
03:06Hello?
03:07Mr. Beast is so problematic.
03:10Yes, I agree.
03:11He needs to be shut down.
03:14Okay, great.
03:15So we're on the same page.
03:17He exploits so many people.
03:19Just refuse.
03:20Yes, it's wrong.
03:22I agree.
03:23What is that?
03:23Liberal purgatory?
03:24In a way.
03:26See, the algorithm thinks it's best that people only ever agree with each other, even when they disagree.
03:31So anytime someone has anything important to say, they get put into the echo chamber,
03:36a wonderfully calm place where you only ever hear views that are your own.
03:40That way, everyone is happy and nothing ever has to change.
03:44Yo, what if we need to call attention to something that's, like, actually important?
03:47This whole algorithm sucks, man.
03:49We should boycott.
03:50Are you ready to get poisoned by flavor?
03:53Sir, then you need to check out Breastable Drinks, all-new flavor, kidney failure.
03:59Now with enough microplastics to shut down your vital organs, whether a human or an orangutan.
04:05Buy a case today.
04:07What was that?
04:08That's the reason all of us are here.
04:10See, you don't get into the content game for viewers or followers or clout.
04:14That doesn't buy you anything.
04:16You get into this for one reason, ad revenue.
04:19As long as I can position my ad strategically throughout my videos to pump up my own products
04:25and maximize profits, this whole channel will be a success, no matter the backlash I get.
04:31You know what?
04:32I think this is too much for me.
04:34Sorry, I quit.
04:35That's fine.
04:36More insulin for me.
04:37Thanks so much for tuning in.
04:39Don't forget to watch out for our next video, where we're seeing who can pull $3 million
04:44off a human-sized mousetrap.
04:47I've been Roger.
04:50Wait.
04:51Wait.
04:51Roger.
04:52Roger.
04:52Roger.
04:52How do you get out here?
04:54Roger, where'd you go?
04:55Roger!
04:56Roger!