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00:00That's a shocking start.
00:04Tom!
00:12Yep, that's it.
00:14Where's Tom?
00:23No!
00:24I hate you.
00:27Let me out of here!
00:30Hello and welcome to Taskmaster.
00:40It's our third episode and after my week-long cryogenic sleep,
00:44they've updated my moral source code with what's okay
00:47and what's not okay to joke about.
00:50Look out straight white men, I'm coming for you.
00:53Let's meet the cast.
00:57The stinky and old Dave Hughes.
01:01The wonderful Emma Holland.
01:03The irreplaceable Lisa McKeown.
01:07The very cool and suave Takashi Pakasuki.
01:11And the stinky and getting old Tommy Little.
01:15Hello!
01:17And next to me, the boy who spends his weekend
01:21hanging out at the library telling people to shh
01:24and getting tingles in his naughty region
01:26at the brilliance of the Dewey Decimal System.
01:29It's Tom Cashman.
01:31CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
01:35How are you this week?
01:37I've been inspired this week.
01:38Yeah.
01:39Because we have a warm-up guy here on the show
01:41called Steve Philp.
01:42I've been trying to do something similar.
01:43Yep.
01:44I've been trying to become a warm guy.
01:46LAUGHTER
01:56Is that warmth?
01:57It's an attempt at warmth.
01:59OK.
02:00OK, Princess.
02:01What's our first task for the show?
02:03Our first task is a prize task.
02:04And this week our contestants have been asked
02:06to bring in what they consider to be
02:08the swankiest thing.
02:10Alright.
02:11So, Waka.
02:12Yes.
02:13What do you have for me?
02:14They bought birds.
02:16Birds.
02:17And...
02:18Crested birds.
02:19LAUGHTER
02:20That's why I put my hair make like this.
02:23It takes so long.
02:24Lots of time and effort there.
02:26But this bird, when they wake up,
02:29already there.
02:30LAUGHTER
02:31When it's rainy day, it's already there.
02:33APPLAUSE
02:35That's the swankiest things I ever think.
02:37It's naturally swankiest.
02:39I must admit it's a problem I can't really relate to.
02:42LAUGHTER
02:43All right.
02:44Lisa, what did you bring in?
02:45Look, I brought a high tea.
02:46Ooh.
02:47It's pretty and it's nice
02:48and everybody gets dressed up for it
02:50and partakes in it together.
02:52Yep.
02:53And there's conversation.
02:54Polite conversation.
02:55As opposed to low tea,
02:56which is an issue I deal with.
02:57LAUGHTER
02:58Yes.
02:59What does a low tea involve?
03:00A tea is short for testosterone.
03:02LAUGHTER
03:03You really are lesser in every way, aren't you?
03:07Because apparently too much testosterone calls baldness.
03:11LAUGHTER
03:12I'm just saying I'm locked and loaded.
03:15Is that true though,
03:16or is that just something that they say to bald men
03:18to make them feel better about themselves?
03:20Yeah, it's just some annoying thing from science, Husey.
03:22LAUGHTER
03:23But you enjoy your full head of hair
03:24and your one sperm cell rattling around your empty nuts.
03:26LAUGHTER
03:27You'll be fine.
03:28See, I've had a vasectomy anyway, so I don't...
03:30LAUGHTER
03:31So they can't get out whether they're there or not.
03:35LAUGHTER
03:36Hey, Huse, when you've had a vasectomy,
03:38does it just go like...
03:40Pah!
03:41LAUGHTER
03:42Mate, I'll show you later.
03:44LAUGHTER
03:49Alright, so, Emma,
03:50what's the swankiest thing you brought in?
03:52I brought in something I made.
03:54It's a golden statue of Hilary Swank.
03:57LAUGHTER
04:00And it looks exactly like her.
04:04LAUGHTER
04:05Are you a massive Hilary Swank fan?
04:07Oh, absolutely.
04:08I love all of her work.
04:09Including what?
04:11Oh, just the movies, you know?
04:13LAUGHTER
04:14All the cinema that she's in, you know?
04:16A real fan wouldn't pick a favourite.
04:18LAUGHTER
04:20Tommy, what did you bring in that you thought was swanky?
04:23I brought in an invitation I got from the, at the time, royals.
04:26From Harry and Meghan and I RSVP'd and then forgot.
04:33LAUGHTER
04:35They didn't do a follow-up check.
04:37So I think it's a bit on them, Tom.
04:39LAUGHTER
04:40So you needed not just a royal invite, you needed a royal reminder.
04:44LAUGHTER
04:45Yes.
04:46OK, Dave, what's the swankiest thing that you've brought in?
04:50An electric foot masseuse.
04:53So you put your feet on it and underneath the things come up and make you feel like you're
04:59a king or a queen or, you know, whatever gender-neutral term you have for royalty.
05:04Um, yeah.
05:05So how much does that cost, you reckon, Husey?
05:07Oh, I got it for free, but I reckon if you bought it, I've no idea.
05:11What do you reckon?
05:12Yeah, like, what, $49.99?
05:14LAUGHTER
05:15It sounds affordable.
05:17Yeah, I'm not an elitist.
05:19It's anyone...
05:20Well, for this prize task, you're supposed to be.
05:23Oh, right.
05:24Yeah, cos this seems very affordable and something that anyone could get.
05:27Yeah, right.
05:28Which doesn't feel swanky at all to me.
05:29Anyway, I'm already starting to score one.
05:31LAUGHTER
05:36I don't even want to hear your defence of it.
05:38LAUGHTER
05:39I'm going to go two points for Lisa.
05:40I appreciate what you're trying to do.
05:41Yeah.
05:42But it's not quite as special as a fancy bird,
05:45so I'm going to give three points to Waka.
05:48I feel like I'm going to give four points to Tommy Little,
05:50cos that's a very swanky invitation.
05:52But for all the effort, I mean, Hilary's swanky.
05:54You can't get more swanky than Hilary.
05:56Five points to Emma.
05:58Well done.
05:59APPLAUSE
06:01OK, let's get into a task.
06:03Like someone who purchased the hit single
06:05Don't Stop Believin' and was unsatisfied,
06:07it's time to return journey.
06:22Come in.
06:23Hey, Tom.
06:24Hi, Waka.
06:25Hi.
06:26Hi, Dave.
06:27How are you?
06:28I'm again.
06:29A little kiss?
06:30Sure.
06:31Who's doing who?
06:32Cheek.
06:36Second for good measure.
06:37Oh, sorry.
06:38So rude.
06:41Might as well go third.
06:42Oh, yep.
06:43OK.
06:44That was too soon.
06:45That was a bit wet, that one.
06:46I'm so sorry.
06:47I'll just...
06:48I'll just...
06:51Make this exercise ball go as far away as possible from you and have it come back.
06:57Once the exercise ball has left you...
07:00You may not take a step without forfeiting an attempt.
07:03Furthest return journey wins.
07:06You have 15 minutes.
07:08Your time starts now.
07:12All right, I love that.
07:14How can I do this?
07:16So I can have multiple attempts.
07:18Yep.
07:19Do whatever I like.
07:20Well, not whatever, within reason.
07:21Do whatever you like.
07:22I can't do whatever I like.
07:23I can do...
07:24There's certain rules.
07:25Yeah, there's rules.
07:26You've told me the rules.
07:27Morality.
07:28Yeah.
07:29Did you just say morality?
07:30Yeah, there's kind of moral boundaries that are kind of limiting your behaviour currently.
07:33Well, I suppose they aren't.
07:34I'm not even thinking about it.
07:35That's subconscious, isn't it?
07:36Yeah.
07:41So, Lisa Tom, what moral boundaries are holding you back from doing what you actually want
07:46to do?
07:47Tax fraud.
07:50That's your first go-to.
07:52I don't think you have to pay tax if you earn under $18,000.
07:55Does it?
07:56Oh!
08:01I love this.
08:02I feel like this is nerd on nerd action.
08:05I love it.
08:06So, I've got to say, Lisa Tom, Tommy, was this the beginning of something?
08:10I hoped it was.
08:12Were you looking for favourable treatment?
08:14No, Tom just hadn't had some action in a long time.
08:18Jock on nerd action.
08:19OK.
08:20Who's first?
08:21First to have a ball while they throw a ball at the wall.
08:26It's two people whose names I really wish rhymed with ball.
08:29It's Lisa and Waka.
08:31They just put this and they come back without moving.
08:35Wow.
08:36Oh no.
08:37It's not too bad.
08:38That's pretty good.
08:39I'm going to look for another way now.
08:40I have to trust my tape.
08:42Oh no.
08:43All right.
08:44I know.
08:45I know it's strange.
08:46But...
08:47OK.
08:4890 seconds.
08:49I'm going to try and use gravity.
08:50I'm going to try and use gravity.
08:51It's not too bad.
08:52It's not too bad.
08:53It's not too bad.
08:55That's pretty good.
08:56I'm going to look for another way now.
08:57I have to trust my tape.
08:59Oh no.
09:00All right.
09:01I know it's strange.
09:03But...
09:04OK.
09:0590 seconds.
09:08I'm going to try and use gravity.
09:10OK.
09:1190 seconds.
09:14I'm going to try and use gravity.
09:17How many minutes have I got left?
09:20We've got one minute and 57 seconds.
09:23Oh my god.
09:24That was pretty good.
09:25That was pretty good.
09:26Yes.
09:27You moved.
09:28I saw.
09:2915 seconds.
09:30I'm just going to throw it back just in case by magic it comes back.
09:36Oh.
09:37Fingers crossed.
09:38Yep.
09:4012 seconds.
09:47Maybe if I wish hard enough it might come back.
09:51I think potentially, at this point, we may have to give up.
09:56I liked your approach there, Lisa, where you thought you'd just throw it in the air because you've got nothing to lose and hope that by magic it'll just come back.
10:06You just never know.
10:07Yeah.
10:08You know, like sometimes things just change and it might have kind of come back.
10:13Like there's magic in the world.
10:14I believe in magic.
10:15Yes.
10:16OK.
10:17Waka.
10:18You had mixed results with the stringy.
10:20You had a bit of a shit sticky tape situation.
10:22Once you made decision and it didn't work well, your brains got panicked.
10:27Yes.
10:28That's why.
10:29Yeah.
10:30I used tyre.
10:31That was the second best option.
10:35OK.
10:36Because at that point you're in a panic, you don't have much time to go, so you just thought, I'll just fling it at shit.
10:40Yeah.
10:41I know.
10:42I did the best job, but I saw that.
10:43That looks so bad.
10:44OK.
10:45Well, I feel like we need to know the measurements now.
10:50Well, Waka, by throwing it at a stack of tyres when there was an extremely flat wall right behind him.
10:54That was bad.
10:58I know.
10:59Your result was 7.42 metres.
11:01Lisa's reliance on golf, then gravity, then God, but ultimately, with the string, got 14.2 metres.
11:07It's not bad.
11:10OK.
11:11Well, it's time for an ad break.
11:13So just like a big red ball with Lisa casting spells behind it, we hope you come back.
11:18Hello, welcome back to Taskmaster.
11:34Give us a recap, my little chap.
11:37Our contestants are sending exercise balls away and hoping they come back, and the furthest return journey without taking a step wins.
11:43Next up, one's a boomer, the other one likes meringues.
11:46Let's put them together and watch them boomerang.
11:48It's Dave and Emma.
11:50All right, let's go for his safety.
11:52All right, that's coming back.
11:56No steps.
11:58That's a keeper.
11:59OK.
12:00Do you have any remote controlled cars?
12:02I think there's one in the shed.
12:03If I deflate this and then use a drone, I think I can get this done.
12:07You come here often?
12:17Yeah.
12:18Yeah.
12:19Yeah, heaps.
12:20Oh.
12:21Go find me a drone.
12:22Go!
12:23Go find a drone!
12:29I really need that to stay in there.
12:32This is gonna protect me when the drone brings it back to me.
12:40Is it coming backwards?
12:41It's coming backwards.
12:42OK.
12:43From wherever it stopped there.
12:46Nice.
12:47You gonna have another go?
12:48How much time do I have?
12:492 minutes and 27 seconds.
12:50OK.
12:51Send the drone.
12:53Ball, fly away.
12:55Come on, ball, come on.
12:57Go, ball.
12:58Please go away from me.
13:00Make me a winner.
13:04That seems to be a long way.
13:06I think this is a win if you can come back.
13:08I think you can come back now.
13:10Or keep going if you like, you decide.
13:13Time?
13:14One minute.
13:15Please come back!
13:16Stay in the air!
13:17Stay up!
13:18I want you back!
13:20Where did you go?
13:21You're not gonna turn back?
13:22You're crazy.
13:23What time?
13:2443 seconds.
13:25Alright.
13:26Come back, ball!
13:27I think it's landed itself.
13:28Come back!
13:29I think it can't handle the weight.
13:30She's struggling.
13:31Oh no.
13:3220 seconds.
13:33You're running out of power!
13:34I'm running out of time!
13:35It's so close.
13:36Please come back!
13:37Oh!
13:38Yes!
13:39Come on!
13:406 seconds.
13:41God damn you!
13:42It had the vibe of such victory.
13:43Yeah it did.
13:44Why did you go so far away?
13:45We bit off more than we could chew.
13:46God damn!
13:47God damn you!
13:48Oh!
13:49It had the vibe of such victory.
13:51Yeah it did.
13:52Why did you go so far away?
13:54We bit off more than we could chew.
13:56God damn!
13:57So Emma you must have been very proud of your first attempt there.
14:07Yeah I was happy it came back to me.
14:09I'm more concerned about the fact that this is not the first time Husey and I have thought
14:12of the same thing.
14:15I don't know.
14:16I'm not comfortable with that.
14:20So you were pretty happy with the remote controlled car?
14:22That worked really well.
14:23Would have you liked it if the editors didn't include your second attempt?
14:26I think that...
14:27You could have looked like a real chap.
14:29That would have been awesome but they didn't do that did they?
14:33So Dave just to be clear you were controlling the drone by yelling at it?
14:37Ah look let's not get into that.
14:39The fact is the drone was my idea.
14:42No one else thought of a drone.
14:44It was a brilliant idea.
14:45And it was almost probably the best task ever in the history of this show.
14:51So I'm guessing Emma's first attempt was the winner.
14:54Emma's first attempt was a successful return distance of 49.05 metres.
15:01Okay so that was quite a distance around the back of the house.
15:04And then Dave's drone distance would have been 51.2.
15:07If it came back but of course it didn't which means we'd go with his safety of...
15:11Waka you'll remember that the wall behind.
15:1415.6 metres.
15:16Alright.
15:17Okay.
15:18So there's still a score there.
15:19Alright well give us another then.
15:21Whilst I may not exactly have consented to his kiss on the lips I consent to him being next.
15:25It's Tommy Little.
15:27Hey is there keys in that car?
15:29That's actually been a bit of an issue recently but...
15:31What do you mean?
15:32Nothing.
15:33Let's check the car.
15:34Okay.
15:35So I'm going to need you to drive.
15:37Oh okay.
15:38I'm just going to put the ball in the passenger seat.
15:40Okay.
15:41And then drive it as far as you can.
15:42Okay.
15:43And then come back.
15:44Okay.
15:45And go!
15:46I have no faith in this van coming back.
15:58Same here.
16:02Pretty lonely way of doing things.
16:06Come on.
16:12Yeah!
16:18Hi Tommy.
16:19You've got 15 seconds.
16:21No worries.
16:22Thanks Tommy.
16:23You did wonderful.
16:25You did too.
16:33Tommy did you just do something clever?
16:36It was very...
16:37Stop!
16:38It was...
16:39I'm saying...
16:40It was very disorienting.
16:42I was expecting you to deflate the ball, shove it up your arse or put it in your pants.
16:47To see you actually do something clever, I think it really threw all of us, didn't it?
16:51Is that within the rules that this time we can just do something?
16:55Dave, you also instructed someone to take yours away.
16:59Okay, well, how did he do?
17:05What did he do?
17:06The total distance, including the 19 point turn I had to do to turn the van around, was
17:10774 metres.
17:12So that means one point goes to Wacker, Lisa gets two, Dave gets three, Emma gets four,
17:20but the winner of the task with the driving is Tommy with five points.
17:23And then for the overall episode scores we've got three fours at the bottom and two nines
17:30at the top with Emma and Tommy leading so far.
17:37Okay lad, another task please.
17:39Yeah, we could or maybe let's bloody head to the pub.
17:43Down some brewskis and watch the footy or have an arm wrestle or...
17:47This will make more sense when you watch the tyres.
17:54Hi Emma. Hi Tom.
18:09That's a shitter.
18:13Oh, oh, oh.
18:16The art department wins an award or someone gets arrested mate.
18:19Cause that's not right.
18:22Oh.
18:23Can I pee or?
18:24No, thank you.
18:26Oh, goodness.
18:28I feel like this should play into my strengths.
18:31I feel like it's the only task so far where I've walked out and gone, comfortable.
18:36Tommy, I think you're going to be right.
18:38You do?
18:42Be a man.
18:43Manliest man wins.
18:44You have 30 minutes.
18:46Your time starts now.
18:4830 minutes?
18:50That's right.
18:51Yeah.
18:52So how do I be a man?
18:54I've got to be a man.
18:55What do men like?
18:56Would you like to know my thoughts?
18:58Initially it was just lift up the toilet and throw it off the balcony.
19:02Men like Quentin Tarantino.
19:05What if I make a Quentin Tarantino style film about pissing standing up?
19:10A lot of foot shots.
19:11Yeah.
19:12You know what the most manly thing to be is?
19:14To show your vulnerability.
19:18Maybe I might do a day in the life of a man.
19:22Oh, wow.
19:23You're going to be the man?
19:24Oh, actually, no, that's actually a good point.
19:26I could get you to be the man and I could direct you.
19:28Oh.
19:29Oh, that's good.
19:30I think what makes a man manly is always women.
19:37So you think what makes a man manly is women?
19:40Yeah.
19:41Protect women.
19:42Are you trying to use this show as a vehicle to impress women?
19:45So I have to ask, why was there a shit in Hughes's toilet and no one else's?
19:59Because none of the others had one in there.
20:01Oh, no.
20:02Did you do something early on?
20:03I didn't shit in the toilet!
20:05Did you think I was going to eat it or something?
20:08Why? Why? What?
20:10Out of all the steps, why was that the next one?
20:14And also, just to be clear, Hughsy,
20:17it's very manly to own up to something.
20:19I didn't shit in the toilet!
20:26Oh, well, they've got their promo.
20:33OK, which man are we getting to see first?
20:38Being a manly man in the style of every man's favourite man,
20:41it's Emma Holland.
21:03Can I get you a drink?
21:21I want you a drink.
21:36Emma, the crowd loved it.
21:43So just to be clear, did you piss all over the seat
21:45over the seat and then put the put the seat up after that yeah and then I flushed and then did
21:49a shit and gave it to you I mean brilliant I feel like this came from a real place though have you
21:58had to sit through a lot of men banging on about how great Quentin Tarantino is yeah I've met men
22:03yeah he's great he is yeah of course you would love that Feeney McFreak it was quite satirical
22:13and it was making fun of men but it was so accurate that men in the crowd were going
22:17oh cool Quentin Tarantino yeah and what is being a man if not oblivious
22:23all right time for something else manly trying to coerce society into making decisions against
22:35their wishes through power and influence their ad breaks back soon
22:43hello and welcome back to Taskmaster where we're playing for something Dave Hughes' bunion-y feet have been in
22:58connect some dots Lester Tom our contestants are trying to be really really manly or to me normal
23:04next up of our cast he has the most tattoos and if you think that makes him a bad boy oh baby you've
23:12got no idea it's Tommy Little I think I need to say something something manly what we do in this life
23:19echoes to eternity oh that's beautiful thank you should I also do a gladiator quote
23:25yeah I got it
23:32yeah
23:49Are you not entertained?
23:56That was good.
23:59That was beautiful.
24:01You think you did well on this one?
24:02Are you kidding?
24:05This could be one of my prouder moments.
24:10Tommy, thanks for that example of toxic masculinity.
24:14Anytime, Tom.
24:15It was very powerful.
24:17It was so fun.
24:19It worked. I mean, it was very manly.
24:21You had to lift it. That was heavy.
24:22Yeah, it was heavy. It was dumb.
24:24Yeah.
24:24It was fun.
24:26Yeah.
24:27Yeah.
24:27And there was a reference to Gladiator,
24:29which is up the Tarantino into the spectrum.
24:32Yeah.
24:32And then afterwards, I went and found Husey's toilet
24:34and took a shit in it.
24:40This is turning into a very lowbrow whodunit.
24:46I didn't realise we had such a budget
24:47we could throw toilets off balconies.
24:49No, I think there was only one.
24:51No, we had to replace it.
24:52It cost $370.
24:56All right.
24:57The only issue is it was very manly.
24:59You had to lift it up.
25:00You threw it off the balcony.
25:01It smashed.
25:02Yes.
25:02You yelled out a Gladiator quote.
25:04Yes.
25:05But there was just...
25:06We've got a photo of what your face looked like
25:07after you let go of the toilet.
25:10Yes.
25:10This will be manly.
25:11Yeah.
25:11All right.
25:18Throw me another bloke, please.
25:20Being the manliest man by showing his feminine side,
25:22it's Dave Hughes.
25:23You know what I don't do often enough?
25:26I don't cry, man.
25:27I need to cry more.
25:29I need you to lie on the ground.
25:31I need you to just tap one leg.
25:38I need you to growl just a little bit.
25:39Just go...
25:41Just do it.
25:42It's okay, buddy.
25:46It's our mommies we had together.
25:48Me and you.
25:49You are my best friend.
25:52Our family loved you, man.
25:56We miss you, man.
25:59Doggy door, mate.
26:00Never worked it out, did you?
26:02And in years, barking outside, let me in.
26:06It was a way to let yourself in.
26:08It was on hinges.
26:09You idiot.
26:10But that was all right.
26:13We didn't mind.
26:14Because we loved you, man.
26:16I'm going to hug you, man.
26:21Good on you, mate.
26:22I love you, Barkley.
26:28All right.
26:29I think I'm done.
26:31Just had an emotional moment with my dog.
26:36I'm going to go now.
26:37Mm.
26:40I mean, the very first thing you brought in was your dog's ashes.
26:52This is a light entertainment show.
26:53It's supposed to be comedy.
26:55I know, but Tom really turned into him.
26:58That is one of the most uncomfortable moments of my life, I reckon.
27:01Yeah, I appreciate what you did.
27:04And you go above and beyond the call of duty many times.
27:07But being my dog is something I'll never forget.
27:11So if you ever want to come round to my house, I'd love to put a lead on you and walk around.
27:14All right.
27:20Test me with some more testosterone, please.
27:22If you remove one of the C's, her full name is legitimately an anagram for the word masculine,
27:28which means her whole name is an anagram for C masculine.
27:31Let's C masculine with Lisa McHugh.
27:34Unbelievable.
27:34So this first scene, you're just waking up in the morning.
27:39Okay.
27:39And then I'm going to...
27:41I've got YouTube open.
27:43Okay, so you kind of know where we're going, okay?
27:45Oh, all right.
27:46Okay.
27:55It's not working.
27:56That's what I'm trying to get, okay?
28:02Yeah, so just roll over and we'll keep playing.
28:17It's not that one.
28:18That one's stuck.
28:20It's a steak.
28:21Okay, here we go.
28:27So we're asleep.
28:45I just want one sound.
28:47Okay, here we go.
28:51Oh, there we go.
28:59Tom.
29:02I'm getting up.
29:03I can't.
29:04Okay.
29:05I know it doesn't worry you, but...
29:08Oh.
29:09I apologise.
29:10And that is being a man.
29:17Oh, thank God.
29:21I was stuck.
29:22And you don't have YouTube premium.
29:27And I didn't have my glasses and I couldn't see the button.
29:30It was just a disaster.
29:31But you accidentally really honed in on something.
29:34Which was?
29:35Something very manly.
29:36I mean, how many times have you watched a middle-aged man fumble their way through YouTube?
29:40Because they've got no idea what they're f***ing doing.
29:45Okay, great.
29:46That was actually what I was...
29:48It was totally what we were getting at.
29:50All right, it's time for a break.
29:51Have you checked your prostate lately?
29:53Back with more Man Chat soon.
29:55Hello and welcome back to Taskmaster, where we've just been hanging out with our wangs out.
30:15Yes, that's right.
30:16We've had four versions of a man.
30:18Now here's an attempt at Superman.
30:19It's Takashi Wakasugi.
30:21Thank you so much for coming, Tomasina.
30:23You are so beautiful.
30:25My heart's burning like a global warming.
30:27I'm so hot.
30:28You are so hot.
30:29What, you want to drink anything?
30:30A minute's early, but let's have a few cocktails.
30:32Cocktails?
30:33Anytime.
30:35Very beautiful with cocktails.
30:36She's a bitch.
30:38She betrayed me and she stole my money.
30:42I'm going to kill her.
30:45I can feel something.
30:46Someone watching.
30:47There!
30:48See you in hell.
30:51Ah!
30:52Tomasina!
30:53Ah!
30:59Welcome!
30:59You are so beautiful.
31:01I love you.
31:03Oh!
31:05Welcome!
31:05Oh!
31:08Oh!
31:20Welcome!
31:21Welcome!
31:22Congrats!
31:24You don't look okay!
31:24You're okay!
31:28You don't look okay!
31:29Sorry for the wait.
31:33Let's talk about...
31:34Your dreams.
31:36Cheers for...
31:37Our future.
31:39So, Waka, what was you thinking here?
31:52I'm strong, protect, and still make the promise, bring the cocktails.
31:59Yeah, you took a bullet as well?
32:01Yeah, between the eyes.
32:04Yeah, I like the way you dived through the air and you took all the bullets in your chest
32:08and then you turned around and it was in your head.
32:11Lots of things going on, yeah.
32:14And also now I understand why you guys kiss each other.
32:18Tom is very attractive.
32:25I must say, this is one of the hardest tasks I've ever had to score.
32:29Because they're all very, very manly.
32:30But I'm going to give one point to Tommy.
32:32Okay.
32:33But that's just, that's where we're at.
32:34That's the base manly level, is smashing a toilet and yelling out a gladiator quote.
32:39That's where we're at.
32:40I'm really happy to take his one.
32:41I don't think one is very good.
32:43I'll take your one.
32:43A man would never let you.
32:44Okay.
32:47Very good.
32:48Well, I'm going to give two points to Lisa because fumbling through YouTube was still very
32:52manly despite that being a mistake.
32:54Three points to Emma for the Tarantino film because it was great.
32:58Oh, unpopular opinion.
33:01Maybe you haven't watched this show, Emma.
33:03I don't give a shit what they think.
33:06That's been firmly established.
33:08And if you are on Reddit at the moment, you can all go f*** yourself.
33:10I'm going to give four points to Husey because being honest with your emotions, it's a lot.
33:18But I'm going to give five points to Waka because, I mean, that was just a bloodthirsty,
33:23entertaining look at manliness.
33:28All right, slice me up a fresh task, please, then, Lesser Tom.
33:32Sure, like Joseph taking his wife to the beach, this one's about to get Mary Shelley.
33:35Tommy!
33:53Hi, Dave.
33:54How are you?
33:55Oh, my God.
33:56It's good.
34:00Oopsie.
34:01Dress as Frankenstein, then video call someone in your contacts.
34:06If they allude to how you're dressed,
34:08you must end your phone call immediately.
34:11If you tell them not to mention how you're dressed, you will be disqualified.
34:14Best dress.
34:15Frankenstein wins.
34:17All other people will be scored based on who has the longest video call.
34:21You have 15 minutes to dress,
34:22then five minutes to begin your video call.
34:25Your time starts now.
34:27All right, Frankenstein, Frankenstein.
34:29OK, I'm going to go and get dressed as Frankenstein.
34:34OK, great, so a simple one.
34:36But just to be clear,
34:37they don't have to mention that they're Frankenstein.
34:38No.
34:39They just cannot talk about their appearance.
34:41Any mention of the contestant's appearance,
34:42they need to hang up immediately, and that's the end of the call.
34:44And that's it.
34:45All right, who are we going to see first?
34:46Calling their family, it's Tommy and Emma.
34:49Yeah, I'm going to get some stuff.
34:50What does Frankenstein look like?
34:52How long have we got?
34:5312 minutes and 18 seconds.
34:54OK.
34:56OK, I'm ready.
34:57OK, I'm ready.
34:59OK, I'm going to try my little sister.
35:04I've got an ace up my sleeve.
35:05My dad is pretty blind.
35:08I think I'm just going to talk at her.
35:11Oh, OK.
35:11Not let her have a word in.
35:12Oh, my God, I look so green.
35:18Are you busy?
35:18Yeah.
35:19Oh, my God.
35:20Um, I have to tell you a story.
35:22Frankenstein is a frame story written in epistolary form.
35:26Set in the 18th century, it documents a fictional correspondence between Captain Robert Walton and his sister Margaret Walton Seville.
35:33Hello, Pa.
35:35How are you?
35:37I'm good.
35:38How are you?
35:39Yeah, I'm pretty good.
35:40I'm pretty good.
35:41After departing from Archangel, the ship is trapped by pack ice on the journey across the Arctic Ocean.
35:46He sees and melts in the same obsession that he has destroyed him and recounts a story of his life's mini-serie.
35:53Wealthy Genevan family.
35:54Are you busy?
35:55No.
35:56OK, great.
35:56From a young age, Victor has a strong desire to understand the world.
36:00Hey, are the Mighty Pies going to win tonight?
36:02Well, nobody thinks they are.
36:04I think, uh...
36:05He thinks it's a bunk.
36:06Honestly, it's just a video of his neck.
36:09He's actually having...
36:10Well, we can talk about something else if you want to.
36:13You know what?
36:13No, I'm going to keep reading this to you.
36:14Victor buries himself in his experiments to deal with the grief.
36:17I'm around next weekend.
36:18Are you up for brekkie or something like that?
36:21What about that?
36:21This is just a personal call.
36:24Can I hang up soon?
36:25Whatever you want.
36:26Oh, thanks for calling.
36:27Love you.
36:28Miss you.
36:29And I'll see you, um...
36:30I'll see you next weekend.
36:31OK, will do.
36:32OK, bye.
36:33Bye.
36:33Bye.
36:36Do you have anything else to say?
36:37Anything to comment on?
36:39Um, are you dressed like Frankenstein?
36:41Oh.
36:44Sorry for swearing.
36:46He just thought it was a phone call.
36:48The video was on his ear the whole time.
36:50Except, did you see right at the end, he's just seen a green man that he's just been chatting
36:59to with a panicked look on his face.
37:01I'm just like, oh, shit, he's on to me.
37:05I reckon that went okay.
37:07It felt like a long call.
37:08I'm sure I'm going to win this one.
37:10APPLAUSE
37:11You made a really good point, Tommy.
37:17Let's just have a look at the moment that Tommy's dad hung up on him.
37:22LAUGHTER
37:22It does look like he saw your green face for the first time.
37:29Oh, I still don't think he knows.
37:31Because we had to get a release form to sign,
37:34and I thought, Dad's going to have some questions about why I filmed his phone call.
37:38And I said, Dad, can you sign this?
37:40And all he said was, when am I going to be on TV?
37:43LAUGHTER
37:44APPLAUSE
37:44But you really lucked on to something,
37:49because he answered a video call as an audio call...
37:52Yes.
37:52..so he wasn't looking at you the whole time.
37:54Now, did it feel like a long phone call?
37:56It was the longest phone call I've ever had with my dad.
37:59LAUGHTER
38:00OK, so it took a task for you to bond with your dad.
38:03LAUGHTER
38:03Yeah, I don't think that's unusual.
38:06Yeah.
38:07OK, well, Emma, great strategy.
38:09You justified your appearance straight away,
38:11and then you just barrelled into a really long story
38:13that your sister didn't want to hear.
38:15I pulled out the Wikipedia page for Frankenstein
38:17and just read from top to bottom.
38:19You just kept reading the whole thing, just kept barrelling through.
38:22I feel like you've got the kooky, confident sister vibes
38:24from the way that she was putting up with you.
38:26LAUGHTER
38:27I don't think it's the weirdest phone call we've ever had.
38:30LAUGHTER
38:30All right, well, I feel like we need to know
38:33how long those phone calls went for.
38:34The longest call Tommy's ever had with his dad...
38:37..five minutes and 57 seconds.
38:39LAUGHTER
38:39APPLAUSE
38:40Aww.
38:43Emma's wicky feet, on the other hand,
38:44went for 13 minutes and 26 seconds.
38:47APPLAUSE
38:47All right.
38:50Who's our next cold, covered-in-make-up caller?
38:53Calling their son and their friend respectively,
38:55and hopefully also respectfully,
38:57it's Lisa and Rucker.
38:57LAUGHTER
38:58I didn't worry about the bottom half,
39:01cos I kind of figure that it's kind of...
39:03But then I'm going to see the bottom half.
39:04LAUGHTER
39:05LAUGHTER
39:06Two questions?
39:08OK.
39:09Is it a bit dangerous to put glue to my body, skin?
39:13LAUGHTER
39:14What's happening in your neck?
39:16That's...
39:16Frankenstein had the neck cut off.
39:18I just had to put it back on.
39:19Oh, OK.
39:20I'm going to call my son.
39:22Not my mum, not my mum.
39:23LAUGHTER
39:24Scary.
39:26Harry Jun, my comedian friend.
39:32Hi, mate. How are you? Are you good?
39:34Hey, I was just ringing to see.
39:36Is the shower still leaking?
39:38Hey.
39:38Hello, Harry.
39:39What the...
39:40How are you? How are you going?
39:42How are you...
39:42How's your gig?
39:43The Melbourne, the Melbourne, China time things.
39:45Do you get a haircut?
39:45Hi. Do I have a haircut?
39:47Yeah, I've just...
39:48Oh!
39:52Why do you look like that?
39:54How many people there?
39:56Why do you look like that?
39:58LAUGHTER
39:59It wasn't very long, was it?
40:08I didn't say anything.
40:09He said, why do you look like that?
40:11Of course!
40:12If he didn't say anything, he's...
40:16..the idiot.
40:19APPLAUSE
40:19Oh, how cute.
40:24Waka, who did you ring up?
40:25Harry.
40:25Harry Jun, my comedian friend.
40:27Oh, he's a comedian?
40:28Yep, he's very funny.
40:29Oh, OK, well, you're just wanting to show off
40:30that you're on Taskmaster.
40:31LAUGHTER
40:32No, he's a nice guy.
40:33And...
40:34..very sad, the result, but I'm happy.
40:37Harry's the normal guy.
40:39LAUGHTER
40:39Oh, so...
40:40You were relieved that your friend was normal.
40:43Yeah.
40:44He didn't ask me.
40:45That's...
40:46..his problem.
40:47So, Lisa, you tried to engage your teenage son
40:51with a chat about a leaky showerhead.
40:53Yeah, I thought Oliver would have played ball
40:55a little better than he did,
40:56but then I think I may have overdone it with the hair.
40:58If I had have just done the face,
40:59he might have just thought,
41:00oh, Mum's got a face mask on,
41:02and he might have kept going.
41:03I know now, it's about getting the balance right,
41:05cos I don't look great in the morning.
41:06And I think that that's probably...
41:08He kind of is used to seeing a certain decay.
41:12All right, I think we need to look at the times.
41:15Walker's phone call with his very normal friend
41:17lasted 14 seconds.
41:19LAUGHTER
41:19Yep, but he's normal.
41:23Lisa's phone call with her very normal son
41:25lasted 13 seconds.
41:26Oh, Rick!
41:28Oh!
41:30All right, sit back and keep your eyes glued
41:32to these advertisements.
41:33Unless you're Tommy's dad,
41:34then get up close and put your ear to them.
41:37Back soon!
41:37APPLAUSE
41:38Hello, welcome back to a collection
41:53of carefully arranged pixels and sound waves,
41:57otherwise known as Taskmaster.
41:59What's happening?
41:59Our contestants are dressing as Frankenstein
42:01and trying to have the longest video call they can
42:03before someone mentions their appearance.
42:05Next up, he loves an energy drink,
42:07but can he become a monster?
42:08It's Dave Hughes.
42:10Have you read the book Frankenstein?
42:12I would have, yeah.
42:13Absolutely, I would have.
42:14But years ago.
42:15But I know Frankenstein is a monster
42:17created by...
42:20Dr. Frankenstein.
42:23Oh, dress as Frankenstein.
42:26Frankenstein is not the monster.
42:29Frankenstein's the doctor.
42:30I've already cracked the code here.
42:32Best dressed Frankenstein wins.
42:36So I've got to dress like a doctor.
42:41All right.
42:44Who are you going to call?
42:45What about Andy Lee?
42:47I'm just going to talk about stuff, yeah?
42:52Hey, buddy, how you going?
42:54Where are you?
42:55Where am I?
42:56I'm just cruising.
42:57Where are you, man?
42:58What are you doing?
43:00I'm at Grill and I'm about to have a burger.
43:01You're going to have a burger and grill?
43:03That's cool, man.
43:04What sort of burger are you going to have?
43:07What's going on?
43:08So, yeah, you're going...
43:10Well, the Blues are having a good year,
43:12aren't they, mate?
43:13So, yeah.
43:14Are you...
43:15Are you...
43:15Are you...
43:15Are you working on the ship, Al?
43:18I'm pretty good.
43:21LAUGHTER
43:22APPLAUSE
43:23Well, I had many predictions about you before this show, Husey,
43:29and one of them was not you being across classical literature.
43:32LAUGHTER
43:33I'm more well-read than I look like I am.
43:36So, yeah, and that was...
43:37I'm so, you dickheads!
43:40LAUGHTER
43:40I was so impressed.
43:44I found out then.
43:45LAUGHTER
43:46Can I point out that even Emma didn't realise
43:49that Frankenstein described the Doctor
43:51and she read the entire Wikipedia page?
43:53LAUGHTER
43:54APPLAUSE
43:55Just to be clear, so whoever was the best Frankenstein
44:03just gets five points and we don't judge them
44:05by the length of the phone call.
44:06That's right.
44:06That means Husey's on five.
44:08Yes.
44:09And then one point goes to Lisa
44:10because she had the shortest phone call.
44:12Then we have Waka with two points,
44:13Tommy with three,
44:14Emma with four,
44:14but Dave Hughes wins the task with five points.
44:16APPLAUSE
44:17All right, you little Frankensteins,
44:21up on the stage for the last task of the show.
44:24CHEERING
44:25All right, who's doing the honours this time, squirt?
44:31Dave Hughes will read the task.
44:34Choose an item to place in the vessel
44:36to raise the water level.
44:38Once an item has been touched,
44:41it must go in the jar.
44:42If you cause the jar to overflow,
44:45you are eliminated.
44:47Last person standing wins.
44:50Lisa, please select an item.
44:52I'm going to start off
44:53really, really conservatively.
44:56You know, just to kind of get us going.
44:59Waka.
45:00Nice.
45:01Oh, OK.
45:02I'm going to put Starfishy back home.
45:06I'm going to write my own story.
45:08Are you the doctor or the monster?
45:09LAUGHTER
45:09I'm going with Tommy Little.
45:12LAUGHTER
45:13That's in.
45:22Dave, did you just touch an item?
45:27LAUGHTER
45:28You have to put that item in when it's your turn.
45:31LAUGHTER
45:32Dave, you must select the poker chips.
45:37I was hoping one would drop off.
45:41It's touching liquid.
45:42Oh!
45:43There we go.
45:47Oh, look at that.
45:49What's he doing?
45:50LAUGHTER
45:50Some of it's touching liquid.
45:53No way.
45:54CHEERING
45:55It's touching liquid.
45:59I don't know what I'm doing.
46:00I'm just going to try this.
46:03LAUGHTER
46:04That was overflow.
46:06See you later, guys.
46:07APPLAUSE
46:08That was not a ping-pong ball.
46:14That is a ping-pong ball filled with concrete.
46:16LAUGHTER
46:17I don't see any overflow.
46:20LAUGHTER
46:21APPLAUSE
46:22It's in.
46:26APPLAUSE
46:28It's in.
46:33It's in.
46:37It's in.
46:39It's in.
46:40Oh...
46:41LAUGHTER
46:41It is a weighted ducky.
46:43LAUGHTER
46:44LAUGHTER
46:45APPLAUSE
46:46There's overflow.
46:49Dave Hughes has been eliminated.
46:50APPLAUSE
46:51OK, Tommy, please select an item.
46:54Little dog.
46:55It's in.
46:57It's in.
46:58Oh...
46:59LAUGHTER
47:01Two seconds.
47:03LAUGHTER
47:03It's in.
47:05APPLAUSE
47:06It's in.
47:07APPLAUSE
47:08Yes!
47:09You're back.
47:11There's overflow.
47:13That's dripping.
47:14No...
47:15APPLAUSE
47:17Michael is eliminated.
47:19All right, that jar is certainly more than half full,
47:21but I'm optimistic we will find a winner.
47:23See you after the break.
47:24CHEERING
47:25Welcome back to Taskmaster.
47:38We've had blokes, jokes and things that don't float,
47:41but we're not done yet.
47:42That's right.
47:43We're in the middle of a live task.
47:44We're down to the final two.
47:45The person who overflows this receptacle will be eliminated.
47:49Emma, please select an item.
47:55APPLAUSE
47:56It's in.
47:58Oh, no, it's real cheap.
48:00LAUGHTER
48:01LAUGHTER
48:03Emma Holland is the winner.
48:08APPLAUSE
48:09Oh, thank you.
48:10Well done.
48:11Well done.
48:12Well done.
48:13All right, mop up the stage so we can mop up the scores
48:15and find a winner.
48:16APPLAUSE
48:17All right, so how do we hand out the scores there?
48:22Well, Lisa gets one point.
48:24Dave on two.
48:25Micah three.
48:26Tommy gets four points.
48:27But Emma wins the task with five points.
48:28APPLAUSE
48:29OK, before we get our episode winner,
48:34how's the series looking after three episodes?
48:36Well, Lisa, Tommy, Waka and Dave are all bumping shoulders
48:39in the pack, but a length ahead is Emma on 54 points.
48:42APPLAUSE
48:47So who's the episode winner?
48:49Lisa's in last place with eight points.
48:50Then we've got Waka with 14, Dave with 15, Tommy with 17,
48:53but winning a second episode is Emma with 21 points.
48:56CHEERING
48:57All right, congratulations, Emma.
48:59Go up on stage and claim your swanky crack.
49:02APPLAUSE
49:04So what have we learned?
49:05Well, Husey taught everyone that Frankenstein is the doctor,
49:09because, incredibly, he's read the book.
49:11LAUGHTER
49:12But more importantly, he's learning right now that,
49:14in Murder on the Orient Express style,
49:16it was all of us who crapped in his dunny.
49:19LAUGHTER
49:20LAUGHTER
49:22Once more, well done, Emma, and well done to all of us
49:24for another cracker of an episode.
49:26That's good.
49:2799!
49:27APPLAUSE
49:45No-one ever thinks about what it's like to be a taskmaster
49:47when you have to deal with all this shit.
49:49Don't talk to me.
49:50Oh, my God!
49:51Just got to be honest, I don't know what the f*** is going on.
49:55LAUGHTER
49:56LAUGHTER
50:00MUSIC