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00:00The following program contains mature subject matter and coarse language. Viewer discretion is advised.
00:05The drought is over. My libido's back.
00:08Go with the flow. I'll take care of you tonight.
00:13We say goodbye to Julie Muldoon today.
00:18First, her career died, then her vagina.
00:22Let us pray.
00:24Dead sit, Iluge.
00:26Dead sit, Iluge.
00:28Dead sit, Iluge.
00:39Mom, I can't fall asleep.
00:42Okay, it's okay. What time is it?
00:45Dad told me that you wouldn't be able to pick me up.
00:48What's going on?
00:49Yeah, I just have, um, I've got some work meetings and stuff.
00:56What are your meetings about?
00:59Uh...
01:00I'm here for my CT scan.
01:02Have a seat.
01:04I'm here to see the gynecologist.
01:06Have a seat.
01:08The sleep specialist.
01:09The volvologist.
01:10Bone density scan.
01:11Audio stuff and, uh, branding.
01:16Mm-hmm.
01:18And, yeah, exactly. It's what we need to sleep.
01:21Poder placement.
01:22Mm-hmm.
01:23Mm.
01:26Spreadsheets.
01:27What is this doing here?
01:40Oh, yeah, it was the only place with a plug I had put in there. Do you love it? You do? You do? Do you love it?
01:44That's right.
01:44Okay, I'm sorry. What are you wearing today? You look like a business pirate.
01:47Arrgh, here. Oh.
01:49Never too many pillows for a shared office.
01:51Ugh.
01:52Look at me. I got something for you, okay?
01:54It's gonna open you up.
01:56You ready?
01:58Ba-bing!
01:59Best friends. Do you like this?
02:01Best friends.
02:02Yeah, I'm gonna put this right over here.
02:04Look.
02:04Yep.
02:04Look, we're looking at each other.
02:05Yeah, that's great.
02:06Mwah. I love you. I love you.
02:08Mm.
02:10Okay, come on.
02:12You don't seem like yourself. Lay it on me.
02:14Okay. Fine. I'm having some problems with sex.
02:18Mm-hmm.
02:19And, uh, it's like my garden has become a sandbox and everything I try doesn't work. It's just so unfair.
02:27It's like, you know, like, men, they get erectile dysfunction. What do they do? They go to the doctor. They say, I got an ED. He's like, poof, here's some Viagra.
02:34For women? What do we got?
02:35We've got, uh, VD. Vaginal dryness. See what he did there?
02:39That is an unfortunate acronym.
02:40It kind of is.
02:45Oh, Ronnie's here.
02:48I don't know. Who's Ronnie?
02:49Ronnie Roy from News with Ronnie?
02:51I don't know who Ronnie is.
02:52Oh, my God. Oh, I'm sorry. I'm so tired. Um, our guest canceled yesterday. My friend Ronnie's in town. Um, she has a show on CNN. She's won a bunch of Peabody's.
03:03She's actually really incredible.
03:04Well, it's just that normally we choose the guests together, so I don't think that's a good idea.
03:08You are gonna love Ronnie. She's amazing. She's, like, ambitious and driven and a go-getter.
03:14Uh, that just all sounds like the same thing. Like, she's kind of boring, like, like, like, like, no personality.
03:19We were inseparable back in the day. People used to call us work wives. That's what they said. Anyway, I hate that term.
03:25Yeah, I don't like that term either. You know, if we're gonna be a work wife, there's good.
03:28Julie?
03:36Listen, if I have to go to one more event where they seat me next to Elon, honestly.
03:42Don't get me started. Yeah, I get invited to a lot of events, too.
03:47Is that right?
03:48Hey, buddy. Honey.
03:50Honey? No, no. Atria says no hugging, no hugging.
03:53I would just say that. Yeah, well, friends can hug. Friends can hug.
03:56Coworkers can't hug, but friends can.
03:58I come bearing gifts. Signed.
04:01Oh.
04:02I like to think of it as my blueprint on surviving media.
04:05Hit your deadlines, never say no, and don't let anyone stand in your way.
04:10Phoebe Herman retweeted me once.
04:13Okay.
04:13Okay. Congrats on the show. Heard the first episode. It's cute.
04:20Oh, high praise indeed. The last person she called cute was Enrique Peña Nieto after a couple of double mojitos.
04:27That sounds spicy.
04:29I know, Enrique, that I've heard of that. Oh, gosh. He's a man.
04:35Okay, why don't we start with the makeup?
04:37Sure. Okay, I was thinking that we could do a winged liner. I think that would be really great. It would highlight.
04:42How about this?
04:43Mm-hmm.
04:44Travel makeup tips.
04:47Great. I love it.
04:48Okay. Yeah.
04:49Yeah, it's perfect. Honestly, it's cute and fast and efficient.
04:53Yay, travel. So interesting.
04:57Okay, great. Well, then I'll start the research. Chris, you're on makeup prep, and we'll do the pre-interview at 1 p.m.
05:04Oh, I just, I have, can't do the, I have, I have that meeting. You know, the ones where I have to lay down a lot.
05:12Oh, yes, of course. Uh, you can't miss that. Okay, um.
05:15That's okay. Julie can do the pre-interview. She knows me inside out. No need for Chris.
05:21Great.
05:21Well, when you say that, I would go the opposite. There is a need for me. I made a decision. Oh, I'll be here.
05:27No, no, don't sweat this. We got this.
05:28Hey, remember when you called Brokaw a sad, wet noodle?
05:32Oh, my God, the look on his face.
05:33Oh, because he knew it was true.
05:36Julie and I see a lot of penises together, too.
05:46Quick question. It'll only take a sec.
05:47I am just trying to enjoy my Earl Grey.
05:55So, how long have Ronnie and Julie been friends? Are they casual friends, close friends, ride or die? Like Julie and I, I highly doubt that.
06:01They worked together at Reuters for years.
06:03Okay, just because they've worked together for a long time and known each other for a long time doesn't mean they're close, so.
06:08Question asked, question answered.
06:09Hey, hey, about what happened at the meeting...
06:18Yeah, Mo, I'm actually listening, and I do not think that this is an appropriate conversation and something about consent.
06:23Who would you rather be friends with? Some award-winning host? No. Or this one, me. Voila.
06:29I'd rather work alone.
06:31Listen, hang on. I haven't even told you what I have to offer. I have fun. I have friendship. I have a load of unused gift cards.
06:37I am best friends with everybody. Why wouldn't you want to be my best friend?
06:42Hey, Keith, I'm gonna see you at lunch.
06:44Girl, that ain't Keith.
06:45My point still stands. It doesn't matter. Julie and I share an office, so technically, we are work wives. Why didn't you see that?
06:51Have you been to high school?
06:52I did, kind of.
06:54Have you ever seen a romantic comedy?
06:55I love them.
06:56Thing is, gotta make her jealous.
07:03Want somebody else's degree?
07:05Yeah, I agree.
07:06Larry, stop asking.
07:11Yes, I did decorate our office with my best friend, okay? A little comfy, a little professional. A bit of both of us. Two peas in a pod.
07:18Cool. Fun fact. Lennon hated peas.
07:22How is that helpful?
07:23It's like, come on, John. Give peas a chance.
07:25Shut up, Larry.
07:26Please, stop calling me your work wife.
07:28I would never say that.
07:29You say it?
07:30Say it now. You said you'd say it. Say it.
07:32Oh, my.
07:37Hello, Clarice.
07:39That's pretty good.
07:40We're just hanging out, being friends, wearing masks, chilling, bonding, vibing, friending.
07:45Oh, um, Chris, we're actually trying to get some work done.
07:48Sure thing.
07:49I just want to say that I'm a huge fan of your show.
07:51Aw, thank you.
07:53I'm all fans of shows, okay? All different shows would be fans of.
07:56Okay, get out of here.
07:58Yeah, I thought we were bonding.
07:58Honeymore.
07:59Okay.
07:59Hey, Chris, where are we with the makeup?
08:01Oh, it's all done. We are going to do a cat eye, nude lip, timeless elegance.
08:04I don't do cat eye.
08:05Okay, I'll think of something else. No problem.
08:07Great, thanks.
08:08Hey, Jules, remember that time when you and I were going to...
08:10Oh, when border security took your phone and you had to use eyeliner to file your report?
08:16Yeah, I won the Emmy.
08:20But enough about me. What's new? How are you doing?
08:24How's Pete?
08:25Oh, good. Great.
08:27Look, I know we've been going through a bit of a rough patch lately, but we can get through this, vagina.
08:34We can do hard things.
08:36You love hard things.
08:38Now I want you to cut out your nonsense and get in that bed and make sweet, sweet love to your husband.
08:42Fantastic. What you want to do with your creme brulee is you don't want to leave it in too long.
08:47We're going through a bit of a dry spell. I'm the dry spell.
08:51Oh.
08:51Yeah, I've heard it returns to normal after menopause.
08:55Total lie. I never got my sex drive back.
08:58So you... you don't have sex?
09:00Frankly, I'm glad to be done with it. Sex is overrated.
09:03Now I can focus on what really matters, making a difference.
09:06And that's what you should focus on too.
09:08Sounds rewarding.
09:10Remember how good it felt? Those all-nighters to break a story?
09:17How many podcasts are you working on right now?
09:20Just the one. Glow.
09:22That's your problem. Find your passion.
09:26This is our act too.
09:28You know, I have to say, when I read your book, I thought it would make a great podcast.
09:35Really? You good?
09:37Oh, my God. Yes, I'm fine. I'm just locked out of my office, which is totally normal.
09:41And I am not listening, okay? I'm leaning like this.
09:44You want me to knock?
09:45No, I don't want you to knock. I'm going to go get the key from Jamila in a bit, okay?
09:48Okay.
09:48If you're looking for a work wife, I'd like to apply.
09:55I think you misunderstood. I'm good.
09:56My skills? Great listener, excellent snack prep, and in a crisis, I have pyrotechnics.
10:02That's great. I have to be there.
10:04These are all fantastic. Another idea? How about starting each episode with a quote from your book?
10:14I am loving all of this.
10:15Really? Let's celebrate. I think there's some champagne in the fridge.
10:18Oh, love it.
10:19Not as much as you're going to love my next idea.
10:27It wasn't even locked.
10:28No, I swear to God it was. I would not mess with you because I love you.
10:31Can I finish my Earl Grey tea?
10:33Mm-hmm.
10:33Oh, whoa-ee. That's a lot for a glow-up.
10:39It's for a new podcast Jules and I are working on.
10:43Hey, guys, I got some kombucha.
10:45Robin labels everything in the fridge kombucha so nobody steals it.
10:47I didn't know that you were doing a new podcast with Ronnie.
10:50Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. We're just spitballing.
10:52Julie can do more than one podcast if she wants to.
10:55Oh, Kenji, I guess I know how life works. Okay, Ronnie?
10:58Listen, I get it. You two bond over brains, okay?
11:01You know what we bond over? Personal stuff.
11:03We go deep inside each other. That's us, like real friends do, okay?
11:07Okay, okay, okay. We are all real friends here, so why don't we celebrate with some kombucha?
11:12It's the real stuff from France.
11:13Like this morning, you know what Julie was talking to me about?
11:15How she has VD.
11:17I don't have VD.
11:18Yeah, you do. Your dry vagina. You talk about it to me.
11:21And guess what I talk about with her? My hot, sweet swamp.
11:24You know why? Because we talk about our vaginas all the time, all day long, because that's what best friends do.
11:29Sounds like stimulating conversation.
11:31Oh, and I'm sure what you two talk about is way better.
11:34Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Multiplication. Plate tectonics.
11:37You know what? I'm fun, and everybody loves our show.
11:39And if I am not intellectual enough for you, oh, hi, Sophocleets. Nice to meet you.
11:44Then I know a ton of people that would want to work with me, okay?
11:47Chris, come on. Oh, Chris.
11:49Let her go.
11:51Ugh.
11:58I'm sorry. Do you know how long the wait will be?
12:01No, sorry. Put on this gown. Change rooms are down there.
12:09No, no, no, no, no.
12:39You're a beautiful woman who counts.
12:47She's positive.
12:48Genius.
12:49Why did you tell Chris we were doing this?
13:19I thought we were doing a podcast. I thought we were just brainstorming ideas for you.
13:22It would be for us. We're doing it together.
13:25Okay, but we haven't pitched it to Evan or Michael.
13:27What about your book tour? What about your show?
13:29Oh, hey, breathe.
13:30I'm giving you your life back.
13:33Big, important ideas was a show that said something.
13:37Don't you miss it?
13:40I do.
13:40I really do.
13:42I really do.
13:59Hi there.
14:01Hi.
14:01Hi. How are you today?
14:02I'm good. Great.
14:04Great.
14:05My name is Andrea.
14:07Do you know what procedure you're having today?
14:09I certainly do. An ultrasound.
14:11I've had many. I've had a baby.
14:12Great.
14:12Feet in the stirrups, please.
14:14Fly back.
14:15And then could you scooch down a bit more?
14:19Oh, a little bit more.
14:20Just one more time.
14:24Great.
14:26Oh, I definitely knew it was that kind.
14:28Yeah, because why use the tummy kind when you...
14:31That one's much more thorough.
14:32It gets right up in there.
14:35Hi.
14:36Hi.
14:36I'm the attending physician. How are you today?
14:39I'm just great.
14:40Actually, this is a teaching hospital.
14:42Do you mind if some students watch and learn?
14:44Oh, yeah?
14:45Okay.
14:45Okay.
14:45Relax.
14:54I'm relaxed.
14:55Okay, and here we go.
14:57Oh, okay. Get a brain up in there.
14:59I've had worse days than this.
15:01I'm just...
15:02I'm joking.
15:07Chris?
15:07Yeah?
15:08Do you want to say something?
15:11Um...
15:12I'm okay.
15:14Uh, actually, yes.
15:15Uh...
15:17I'm just going to tell my doctor what is wrong.
15:21Oh, go ahead.
15:25I...
15:25would like less people watching, please.
15:28I'm so sorry. We'll leave.
15:30Okay.
15:31She's not comfortable!
15:35Why don't we try that again?
15:36Just the two of us.
15:38Okay.
15:39Okay.
15:39Ready?
15:40Yes.
15:41Last time.
15:44Okay.
15:44When you hear the word ultrasound, you just think it's going to be the belly kind.
15:50You don't think it's going to be the weight of two hours and 15 people look at your vagina
15:53kind.
15:54I know that something's wrong.
16:01I keep having these appointments.
16:05And no one's telling me anything.
16:06And I'm just losing a lot of blood and I'm losing sleep.
16:13I think I'm losing my mind.
16:17And I'm losing...
16:18And I'm losing my friend, Julie.
16:20Oh, my God, Chris.
16:23Oh, sorry.
16:25What is wrong with me?
16:26I gotta stop.
16:28I'm happy.
16:28You know what I'm doing, Andrea?
16:29I'm going to tell you what I'm doing.
16:30I'm letting fear roll today and I'm not going to do that.
16:33Because I don't think I'm alone.
16:35Because I have Julie.
16:36Oh, God, I am going to end up alone if I keep talking about her dry vagina.
16:41Andrea, you are really kind, but are you done?
16:45Yep.
16:45I'm only done.
16:46Can I ask a favor?
16:48Yeah, sure.
16:48Can I borrow some of that lube?
16:50The ultrasound gel?
16:52Potato, potato.
16:52Potato.
17:02Gemilla, have you seen Chris?
17:04Is she back?
17:04Girl, I am just trying to drink my tea.
17:08Julie, hi.
17:09Love Ronnie, obvi.
17:10But could you just tell her I am not an intern, okay?
17:12She sent me for coffee twice and she doesn't even work here.
17:14Ronnie kicked us out of the studio and I couldn't say no.
17:17I can't tell if I'm a fanboy or if I'm reliving some sort of trauma.
17:20It is an honor to work with her, obviously.
17:21But if she touches my de-esser one more time, I...
17:25Okay, guys, I know that Ronnie is impatient and blunt and a tiny bit terrifying,
17:29but if she was a man, she would be celebrated.
17:32Oh, her gender is not the problem.
17:33I love women.
17:33We know this.
17:34It's just that she's totally ruining the vibe around here.
17:36Yeah, this isn't going to be, like, a permanent thing, is it?
17:39She mentioned a new show.
17:44Um...
17:44No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
17:47Ronnie, I'm going to pee.
17:48Stop.
17:48No, no, no, please.
17:50Julie.
17:50Ronnie was just pitching me the podcast that you're working on.
17:54I love it.
17:55You know, we've been missing a news podcast since we lost big, important ideas.
17:58Losing it.
17:59Michael caught it and you said it was for mall walkers and angry libs.
18:02I didn't.
18:03This is Ronnie Roy, so it could be a huge numbers bump for us.
18:07I would love to hear a proof of concept.
18:08Well, it's not entirely fleshed out yet, but it will be.
18:11Almost done.
18:11Great.
18:13And you know what?
18:13You use whatever you need in this office, Ronnie.
18:15I mean it.
18:16I got you, girly.
18:18And have it in to me by, um...
18:19End of day, obviously.
18:21We're on it.
18:21No, end of day we can't because I still have to edit Glow Up With Chris.
18:24So multitask.
18:26Now, where is that Chelsea?
18:27I need a coffee.
18:28Is it possible that Ronnie's a bad person?
18:38Oh, yeah.
18:39That's why I love her.
18:48Okay, everyone.
18:49We're on tight timeline.
18:50Larry, change out that mic.
18:51Robin, set up Studio One.
18:52Chelsea, take orders for a dinner run.
18:54No one leaves till we're done.
18:55No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
18:57No food orders.
18:58No all-nighters.
18:58Everyone go back to what you're doing.
19:00I'll lay that order.
19:01You wanted this.
19:01Oh, you wanted this.
19:03Well, if you want another Peabody, it's either all in or all out.
19:07What's it going to be?
19:07Julie, I am so sorry.
19:09I love you.
19:10Here's lube.
19:11Look, you're welcome.
19:12Actually, it's ultrasound gel, and it's for your dry sandbox.
19:15I'm going to water it.
19:16Not me who's going to water it, but this will water it.
19:18Wow, okay.
19:19Well, thanks.
19:20I don't think the two products are interchangeable, but it's the thought that counts.
19:25You're welcome.
19:27Ronnie, I am...
19:28I am out.
19:31You never change, but I have.
19:34With you, it's always about you.
19:36But Chris, I never come in second place.
19:38Whoop, whoop.
19:39Yeah.
19:39Number one.
19:40She completes me.
19:41Yeah.
19:41We are work...
19:43Wives.
19:43No, I hate that term.
19:44We are work friends.
19:45Best friends.
19:46Nope.
19:46The bestest of friends.
19:47Okay, we could have whatever call our friends.
19:49Look, the point is, I would like you to stop bossing my team.
19:52Hello.
19:53Ronnie here.
19:54Really?
19:56Amazing?
19:57An explosion?
19:58How many dead?
20:00No survivors.
20:01On my way.
20:02I'm on the air in three hours.
20:05It's been a slice, everyone.
20:07Tune in at 9 p.m.
20:09Oh my God, I can't believe she was a worker.
20:10She's so rude.
20:11She didn't even say goodbye.
20:12I would always say goodbye.
20:13Or if I like you and I do like you, high kick ya.
20:16Goodbye!
20:16No, no, no, no, no, no.
20:17You're gonna really give away the...
20:18I saw it all.
20:19It was there.
20:20Now we need a new guest.
20:21That's for another day.
20:23How did your doctor's appointment go?
20:25I don't think I really want to talk about it.
20:26But you know what?
20:27Maybe I'll get some answers.
20:29Sorry about Ronnie.
20:29She's kind of a human freight train.
20:31That's okay.
20:31You know, she just wasn't a good fit.
20:33Oh.
20:34Hey.
20:34Hey.
20:35Can we talk now?
20:37Mo, remember what I said about boundaries?
20:39I'm gonna talk to you when I'm ready.
20:40Okay?
20:40Understood.
20:41Right.
20:42No.
20:42I just really want to be able to pick our podcast guests together.
20:46You're right.
20:48We're partners.
20:49We should choose the guests together.
20:51See you tomorrow, work buddy.
20:57Uh-oh.
20:58Why am I wet?
21:00The glove full of lube was in my purse.
21:03Okay.
21:05Ooh.
21:06Let's get to the elevator?
21:07Yeah.
21:07I just want to push somebody.
21:17I just want to push somebody.
21:18The body won't let you.
21:20I just want to move somebody.
21:23The body won't let you want to steal somebody.
21:28The body won't let you.
21:30Oh.
21:30Ooh.
21:31Who are you talking to?
21:31Who?
21:32Who are you talking to?
21:37Who are you talking to?
21:41Who are you talking to?
21:42Who are you talking to?
21:42Who are you talking to?
21:43Who are you talking to?
21:43Who are you talking to?
21:44Who are you talking to?
21:45Who are you talking to?
21:45Who are you talking to?
21:46Who are you talking to?
21:46Who are you talking to?
21:47Who are you talking to?
21:48Who are you talking to?
21:48Who are you talking to?
21:49Who are you talking to?
21:50Who are you talking to?
21:51Who are you talking to?
21:52Who are you talking to?
21:53Who are you talking to?
21:54Who are you talking to?
21:55Who are you talking to?