eastenders
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00:00podcast i i just wanted to reach out now here we go i've had enough podcast freaks knocking about
00:06yeah trying to take pictures of me every time i open the door no no no no no it's not like that
00:10i just want to talk you're not the first person to turn up claiming they're my dad either
00:16what no you wrote me aloud a few years back okay i didn't respond but after everything you've been
00:26through i felt awful i just wanted to come find you well i wrote a letter to every terry can i could
00:32find so how do i know you're my dad i can prove it come on let's go inside sonia please
00:40i'm glad you and amy are talking again i'm so proud of you
00:50mum i am you're so much stronger than i ever was at your age
00:56you just keep that head up yeah and is that my skirt not tonight it's not
01:04enjoy thank you
01:07you've got five minutes
01:21it's just after hearing what you've been through i just wanted to reconnect let you know that i was
01:30there for you that your dad was there for you like what you said you can prove it
01:36that you're my dad oh yeah yeah
01:39that's all i had of you is that you and then
01:50yes after what that reese bloke did and you being a new mum i just wanted to make sure you was okay
01:59and do what i can if you're not this coming from the bloke that abandoned his entire family
02:06took everything that wasn't nailed down do me a favor
02:08look i've even got id to prove i am well me
02:15you're probably thinking it's too little too late
02:18me arriving trying to be the hero but i just wanted to
02:24what i don't know
02:28maybe we could start over make a connection
02:32to be honest sonia you you've been in my thoughts ever since i last laid eyes on you
02:38i even use you as a totem to focus when i meditate
02:44oh hang on a minute can someone please translate i don't speak nutter
02:48no right that's it now you can focus off you've had your five minutes and take your tom tom with you
02:55but can you two just um give me some time
02:57you're not serious you all right yes you're being taken in by this man
03:05i just want to talk i'm not putting him in my will and i can't do that but you shouting the odds can i
03:10you put a foot wrong and i'll adjust your chakra
03:16thank you
03:25see that's your brother for you
03:29yeah
03:29all right
03:34looking good barney
03:36thanks
03:38still good for the gym later yeah
03:40dad
03:41well zach has kindly offered to take you on and train your barn
03:44get you strapped
03:45really
03:46sharon's brother training me in her gym
03:49no i'm all right thanks
03:51wouldn't feel right
03:52don't worry about that it's fine
03:53it's all right you and zach could be pals in no time
03:56of course
03:57get your confidence going looking better
04:00feeling better
04:01oh thanks
04:02what's that
04:03it's a vodka
04:05pfft
04:05no mate change that for water now
04:07well i've only just got it
04:08i'm gonna take you out for a run later
04:09nothing hectic just see what we're working with
04:11bonnie
04:13water
04:14go now
04:15so this mean we're good then yeah everything that's gone on
04:24forgotten
04:24no no no no cash don't worry i was training anyway you can just tag along
04:32yeah fair enough you just look after my boy
04:36yep main thing is we just have some fun yeah
04:40yeah
04:40thanks dad
04:42see you later
04:43i picked her up from the showroom this morning
04:53i live in barley most of the time so uh
04:56i'm gonna have her shipped out
04:57she's a real beauty ain't she
04:59look i
05:04genuinely
05:06honestly just want to have it right between us
05:09why now
05:13well i told you
05:15the podcast
05:16i couldn't
05:18get me head around what you'd been through
05:20so you thought you'd just drop into my life uninvited
05:23you did write me a letter
05:27which you ignored
05:28yeah yeah i'm sorry about that
05:30i was fully prepared for you to tell me where to go but i had to reach out i felt
05:35i felt awful about what you'd been through
05:38when your fault
05:40well maybe if i hadn't walked out on you all those years ago or
05:44answered the letter then
05:46i don't know maybe things would be different
05:48guess we'll never know eh
05:51no
05:51why didn't you
05:56answer my letter
05:59old letter
06:01cowardice i guess
06:03easier not to
06:05i mean i was so
06:07busy with work i just thought
06:09carry on
06:10i know
06:11selfish i know
06:12i know
06:13what'd you do for work
06:15oh well i've got my own mindfulness business
06:19it's like
06:19meditation and all that
06:21it's taken me around the world
06:22had a chance to really look at myself
06:24think deeply about me
06:26and you
06:27and everything
06:27really
06:28i know
06:31i know i did wrong
06:33but i'm here now
06:35and i want to show you that i'm not that stupid little prat anymore
06:39sonia i'm i'm not getting any younger
06:44i just want to make amends for everything i did or everything i failed to do
06:49i'm
06:52can we
06:54is there a way
06:56is there a way we can be part of each other's lives
06:59how long you're here for
07:04ah a week
07:06we could do some day trips
07:09talk
07:09maybe
07:10i um
07:11i need some time
07:12yeah yeah of course
07:13yeah
07:13on my own
07:15yeah
07:15yeah yeah of course it's a
07:17it's a lot to take in isn't it
07:19yeah
07:19er
07:20i'll
07:21i'll give you some space
07:22get out of your hair
07:23right
07:24yeah
07:25sonia
07:29i just want to
07:31thank you for hearing me out
07:32a lot of people would have said it's more than i deserve
07:36so
07:37yeah
07:38thanks
07:40go
07:49look i just want to know if there's any problems that's all i'm saying
07:51can you stop being so embarrassing my friends are here and i'm being cringe
07:57you're not
07:58all right
07:58looking good ain't you
08:00oh he's nice isn't he that one
08:07oh my god
08:08go
08:08all right
08:12come on
08:12we should get going
08:13oh no five more minutes
08:15it's just nice to be out of the flat
08:17what do you mean
08:18well louis been kicking off isn't he he's been moaning that he ain't got his own bedroom
08:22it has got me thinking
08:25that place is too small for all of us as it is
08:28let alone when the baby comes
08:29our flat just ain't gonna cut it anymore we need a house
08:32where are we supposed to get money for that
08:35i don't know
08:36but our family is growing and
08:38when this baby comes
08:40yeah
08:40all right leave it with me i'll speak to my dad when i get a chance
08:43but he's already paying for the wedding
08:45so
08:46hey kev lily hasn't been in has she
08:50i've not seen her since this morning no
08:53oh
08:53i uh
08:54i take it you haven't spoke to gene yet
08:57i haven't no i'm sorry
08:58i want how i do but
09:00it's not the right time
09:02there's just so much going on with stacy and
09:04and lily's not coping at all and gene's just
09:06trying to keep everything together so
09:09but i promise
09:11you know i will
09:13as soon as things come out of bed
09:14yeah so uh thanks and we'll just keep looking at this
09:18um
09:18fancy
09:19going to your voicemail
09:20she could be anywhere
09:22off a face on drugs
09:24bought with stolen money
09:25i don't know what to do
09:26how are you all nice
09:30same rob you okay
09:32yeah good you
09:33yeah good man
09:33do it
09:34yo
09:35thanks for coming
09:36ain't a party about me is it
09:38is lily coming
09:39yeah i think later she's just getting grief off to you
09:42oh well we'll still have a good time now yeah
09:44yeah of course
09:45go ahead she's coming in yeah
09:46yeah
09:56i'm happy you came
10:13i mean it
10:15yeah me too
10:16i just wanted to say all this stuff with the police and how you've handled it
10:21you've been amazing
10:23but now i need you to come and help me put some proper tunes on
10:27i want this night to be chilled and relaxed yeah
10:30oh what's on your same sense and slung you out is she
10:55i gave her some space so she could think it over all right
10:59trying to mug
11:00trying to let a sliver and snake like you get back into her life just because you've
11:05grown a conscience
11:06oh i'm the snake am i
11:07you knew i was back and didn't tell her
11:09how's she gonna feel about that hey
11:11you alright bianca
11:12what are you having
11:14who's that
11:17jack
11:18jack browning
11:19what do i know you
11:23it's terry can
11:24he was just a boy last time i saw you
11:27long time
11:28yeah not long enough
11:31look i'm not looking for any trouble
11:33okay but
11:34all the things i did i apologize for
11:36the pain i caused carrie or family the whole lot
11:39i'm sorry all right
11:39i'm sorry to hear about jimmy
11:42rest in peace he was a proper proper gentleman
11:45yeah because he stuck around for his family
11:46didn't bail out at the first sign of a dirty nappy did he
11:49what you after
11:50i'm here for sonia
11:53i heard that podcast and i
11:56couldn't help but wonder what
11:57what it would be like for her if i was in her life
11:59yeah worse
12:00yeah worse you may
12:01i've had a good look at myself and
12:03i just want to find a version of me that i want to be
12:06and that's why i came back
12:08i'm only in the country for a week
12:11and i want to show my daughter someone she can be proud of
12:14someone maybe she could forgive
12:16look if you want to take a swing i ain't gonna stop you
12:21and i ain't gonna fight you back
12:22and we both know i deserve it
12:24i need some fresh air
12:29nice to see you jack
12:30looking good
12:32he is dreaming if he thinks that waffle's gonna get his feet back under sonia's table
12:38over my dead body
12:41nugget said you needed me
12:47they said that you invited them
12:48that's right isn't it yvonne
12:50we go way back
12:52yeah
12:53oh come in then
12:54what are you playing at
12:58you mentioned party
12:59i saw a business opportunity
13:00so you followed me
13:02i need to try out some customs
13:04i'll get by on your pocket money can i
13:06well it ain't that sort of party
13:07well it's about to be
13:09you know this house belongs to a copper
13:11you need to go
13:13now
13:14i haven't seen no coppers about food
13:16all i say is a scared little girl
13:18lily yeah would you please give me a call
13:26thank you
13:27where is your silly silly
13:33mummy
13:34what's this
13:38mum i'm so sorry i didn't call you
13:46this
13:47charlie was playing with this
13:50you stupid stupid girl
13:53it uh bad timing
13:58no
13:59i was going to ask you actually
14:02is there any proof of ruby
14:04setting fire to the stall
14:05you spoke to slaters
14:06telling me there's a lack of evidence
14:08oh
14:09you all right
14:11i was just expecting um
14:15don't matter
14:17sorry
14:18yeah
14:20bumped into him
14:22and harris
14:23what did you make of him
14:26i don't know
14:29i don't know what i'll think does it
14:31what are you gonna do
14:33lost so much an i
14:37martin
14:40life i thought i was gonna have a race
14:43all i wanted was a normal family
14:46you spoke to carol
14:50no
14:51no
14:52whatever i choose to do is my decision
14:56do you think a bloke like that can change
15:00you know i did a lot of stupid things when i was young
15:06stuff that i wasn't proud of
15:09i mean think of it like this
15:12he's gonna be abroad
15:13you're gonna be here
15:15it's just gonna be a couple of phone calls texts every now and a minute
15:18if he is genuine i mean
15:21you know maybe it's gonna be a good thing for you
15:24but if he is still a toe rag
15:28you just kick him in a touch
15:30and you come back to what you know
15:33which is us
15:35thanks
15:38see you later
15:39hey uncle jack
15:41hey mate
15:42she could have choked on that bag
15:51and what if it wasn't empty
15:52i mean what were you thinking
15:54i wasn't
15:55i'm sorry
15:58i'm sorry i'm so sorry
16:01i'm trying to stop it
16:06stop what
16:09everything
16:09my dad i've let him down
16:12i've let him down so much
16:14no you haven't
16:16why'd you say that
16:17i didn't even say goodbye to him
16:18i had a speech
16:22i couldn't go to his own funeral
16:27i couldn't
16:28why not
16:29i couldn't bear it
16:31watching mum
16:33smiling and
16:35nodding sorry for your loss
16:38when this was all her fault
16:40right
16:41i know you're angry
16:43and you want someone to blame
16:46but none of this
16:47is your mum's fault
16:48you're going through so much
16:53and your whole world
16:56is changing far too fast
16:58and now with
17:00what's happened to your dad's stall
17:02i mean i can only think
17:03that ruby was in a very dark place
17:06to have done something like that
17:07i mean jack came and
17:09said that the evidence was inconclusive
17:11but we all know that ruby set the fire
17:13so
17:14and ruby didn't set the fire
17:17i did i
17:21i'm sorry
17:26i'm sorry it's all my fault
17:28ruby and roman leaving
17:30i've just made everything so much worse
17:33and mum is gonna lose her mind
17:34when she finds out about the weed
17:35oh
17:37oh
17:40well
17:42your mum doesn't need to know about this
17:44she's got enough on her plate
17:46what do i do
17:50you stop
17:50that's what you do
17:53the drugs
17:54the stealing
17:55everything
17:56it stops
17:57do you understand
17:58and um
18:04about
18:07cat's money
18:09beck's lent me some
18:11to help
18:13pay it back
18:15you're a cat
18:16a massive apology
18:17this is not just a bit of fun
18:21lily
18:21this is potentially lethal
18:24it's like
18:25it's like
18:25cigarettes for your lungs
18:27it can mess with your brain development
18:30psychosis
18:31you sound like a leaflet
18:33it stops
18:34lily
18:35hi
18:46amy told me that those
18:51older guys are mates
18:53how we could be mates
18:55you want to know me
18:57you're gonna need to call your dad
19:05what
19:06you need to get them out of here
19:08your mates
19:09they're alright
19:09they ain't smashing up the base
19:11amy they're not my mates
19:12they're dealers
19:14he brought dealers into my house
19:17i didn't mean to
19:18i swear
19:19i scored a bit of weed with declan earlier
19:22and he followed me here
19:23you put drugs to my party
19:25amy
19:26this was supposed to be a night
19:28about all of us getting together
19:29something normal
19:30nice
19:31i know
19:32not an excuse for you to get off your head
19:34i didn't smoke it you know
19:35i threw it away
19:36i'm gonna call my dad
19:39when they're gone
19:40me and you
19:41we're done
19:41understand
19:42so
19:48don't keep me hanging
19:50what's the verdict
19:51terry i've had so much going on in my life lately
19:56sonia just tell
19:57no just let me finish
19:58reese
20:00losing martin
20:02bianca
20:03well
20:04me and bianca
20:05i've had so much bad stuff going on
20:08you don't want me adding to it
20:10no
20:11no
20:12i've thought about it
20:14and i'm willing to try
20:16what
20:17to take the first steps
20:20in getting to know each other
20:22get in
20:23get in
20:25baby steps only there
20:27i've had so much chaos
20:29i don't want to regret this
20:30i promise you you won't
20:31it's but
20:32baby steps
20:33wow
20:37very cozy
20:39all right mate
20:45nice loosener
20:46stretch for your quad
20:48nice
20:49up right back
20:50that's it
20:51i still don't really get how
20:52this will get a varley to notice me
20:54running fast
20:56don't mean i'll ever be able to speak to her
20:57without sounding like some idiot
20:58oh come on
20:59that ain't true mate
21:00next look
21:03with my dad
21:04and harry
21:05things like
21:07working out
21:08and talking to girls
21:09and stuff
21:10just seems to be something
21:11they were born with
21:12i sometimes feel like i'm from another planet
21:15alien living amongst the humans
21:18well like
21:20clark kent
21:21yeah
21:22exactly
21:23hmm
21:23all right well today we're gonna leave clark kent behind for a bit
21:26and we're gonna unleash your inner superman
21:28how's that sound
21:28yeah
21:29yeah all right
21:30all right
21:30all right
21:32how's
21:33how's the hamstrings feeling all right
21:35as usual
21:37all right let's go
21:39all right
21:40copper
21:45if you really had sonia's best interests at art
21:50you'd never come back here terry
21:52because i remember mum i'm crying at night on the stairs
21:56you made her feel like nothing
22:00sonia doesn't need you
22:03she never did
22:05she is doing just fine without you here
22:09this
22:11this is fine is it
22:14stuck here with you
22:16dripping poison in her ear all day
22:19the truth ain't poison
22:22she doesn't want you here
22:25nobody does
22:26so why don't you just
22:28get on your little speed boat
22:30and sail off into the sunset
22:32truth
22:33how would she feel
22:35if she knew
22:36that you knew i was back
22:37looking for her
22:38and you didn't say a word
22:40i think she'd turn her back on me
22:41for trying to protect her
22:42from another abusive bloke
22:43coming in and
22:44trying to ruin her life
22:45dream on
22:46well let's find out shall we
22:48why don't you go in there
22:49and tell her the truth
22:50truth about what
22:53look i'm so sorry
23:02my dad will be here any minute
23:03wait ames your dad's coming why
23:05yeah to kick
23:06if only stupid mates out the house before they wreck it
23:09if you want them gone they're gone all right
23:10i've got trouble
23:12look mate
23:13you and your boy
23:14you've got to bounce
23:16now
23:16nah
23:17i'm just getting started
23:19and ain't your mate
23:21mate
23:22whoa whoa whoa
23:22you deaf
23:23you're leaving now
23:24go on
23:25you shouldn't have done that little man
23:27what
23:28definitely please
23:28just listen
23:29oi don't touch my sister
23:30you really
23:32shouldn't have done that
23:34so you knew
23:39that terry was looking for me
23:41but you never said a word
23:42i was just trying to do
23:44what was best for you
23:45well that's not your choice is it
23:46son look
23:47you knew that i tried to contact him a few years ago
23:51you knew i wanted to meet my dad
23:52yet you tried to send him away behind my back
23:55you can't help yourself can you
23:57always sticking your nose in
23:58bianca knows best
24:00it's not fair
24:03i was just looking out for you
24:06shall i tell you the best way to look out for me
24:08is to be there for me
24:10and to support me
24:11yeah well that's what i was doing
24:12i was just trying to control the amount of toxic weirdos that come through this store
24:15control
24:16is that your job is it
24:18well you know who else used to control me
24:21reese
24:22son
24:24no
24:25just please
24:26i can't fight with you anymore
24:27i need some time to terry right now
24:31all right you get out
24:59get out before i put you out
25:01you fancy your chances do you old man
25:03oh yeah
25:04that's against you
25:05what you reckon
25:05hey would you fancy your chance against me and my gang do you
25:09no i didn't think you did
25:10dad i'm sorry i didn't
25:14who invited scum like that into my house
25:22lemon balm and holy basil
25:30take your head off
25:31relaxation wise
25:33thank you
25:34okay
25:34i sometimes wonder
25:40if i can ever have a normal relationship with bianca
25:43it's always constant chaos
25:46you know
25:46just trying to have it right with her
25:48well
25:49you've got a lot of your life left to live
25:51you've seen the world
25:53my life's nipping to the shop
25:56or having a drink in the local
25:57or it was
25:59now everything's a reminder of reese
26:03people sticking their noses in you know
26:05let's get a selfie with a murderer's fiance
26:07i don't want my baby exposed to that
26:11no
26:11when i traveled
26:16i was on me own
26:18i bet you got photo albums
26:20overflowing with
26:22friends and family that are still around here
26:24i never had any of that
26:27no
26:28you didn't have to be on your own
26:30no
26:31and i was an idiot for leaving it so long
26:34so
26:35no more time wasting
26:36you
26:36me
26:37and the grandkids
26:38are going to spend the next 48 hours
26:40hitting all the hot spots of walford
26:41it should take about five minutes
26:43then we'll go up west
26:4548 hours
26:47you said you were here for a week
26:50oh yeah
26:51well i got a call
26:52work beckons
26:53i
26:53i've got to get back to barley
26:54i've got to keep the cash rolling in
26:56i mean that boat won't pay for itself you know
26:58what
27:01well no i guess you'll be in touch
27:03work permitting
27:03oh no no no it ain't like that
27:05isn't it
27:06one calling you're off
27:07i can't mean that much to you
27:09well of course you do
27:10you know what
27:11i think you should just go
27:13sonia
27:13found and abandoned in one day
27:15it must be a record
27:16i am not abandoning you
27:17in fact quite the opposite
27:19well what does that mean
27:20look you're sick of people
27:22talking behind their hands
27:24and giving you the side eye
27:25come back to barley with me
27:28nobody knows you
27:30they're becks and the baby too
27:32it's a great opportunity
27:34for us to really get to know each other
27:36come for a couple of weeks
27:38a few months
27:38six months
27:39hell come and stay if you want
27:41it's up to you
27:42leave all that
27:43podcast malarkey behind
27:46what have you got to lose
27:49and i don't know each other
27:50it's up to you
27:52to be in touch
27:53the best
27:53we'll see you
27:54in touch
27:54as long as we can see you
27:55in touch
27:56and let's see you
27:57no
28:00no
28:01no
28:02no
28:03no
28:04no
28:04no
28:06no
28:07no
28:07no
28:09no
28:09no
28:09no
28:10no
28:11no