When the city experiences a toilet paper shortage, Beth and Harold investigate and discover it's their old rival Sewer Mike who is the mastermind behind it all.
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TVTranscript
00:00PANIC IN THE STREETS AS THE TOILET PAPER SHORTAGE HITS WEEK 11
00:07GET YOUR LEAVES HERE BIG SOFT ASSORTED LEAVES
00:11THE POLICE HAVE NO LEAVES
00:13THIS IS TERRIBLE BETH I'M DOWN TO MY LAST COMIC BOOK
00:17IRONICALLY IT'S THE BROWN COBRA NUMBER TWO
00:20AND I HAD TO USE MY BEST TEDDY
00:22HE'S JUST NOT THE SAME ANYMORE
00:25LAST NIGHT I WANTED TO TP MY NEIGHBOR'S HOUSE BUT HAD TO USE STREAMERS
00:30THEY THOUGHT I WAS THROWING THEM A PARTY
00:33THEY THANKED ME
00:36AWW LET'S DRY THOSE TEARS
00:38ANYWAY OLD CHEF HERE HAS A GREAT FIX FOR THE TOILET PAPER PROBLEM
00:42MEET THE SHRED PRO 5000
00:44IT'LL TURN ALL YOUR CRUMBY ART PROJECTS INTO SOMETHING WITH ACTUAL VALUE
00:48FOR WIPING BUTTS
00:50WATCH
00:51HEY I WAS REALLY PROUD OF THAT
00:53MAYBE YOU SHOULD SET THAT BAR A LITTLE HIGHER
01:04HUH NOT MUCH ROOM FOR ERROR
01:06BUT IT'S BETTER THAN NOTHING
01:08I FEEL ESPECIALLY BAD FOR OWEN
01:10HE'S BEEN HOLDING IT SINCE THE TOILET PAPER SHORTED STARTED
01:13HOW YOU FEELING BUDDY
01:15LIKE FOUR CHOCOLATE PUDDINGS CRAMMED INTO ONE CUP
01:17THIS TP MYSTERY NEEDS TO GET SALT RIGHT NOW
01:20OR I'M GOING TO EXPLODE
01:22I'M SURE THE POLICE ARE WORKING ON
01:24I SAID RIGHT NOW
01:26OKAY
01:27I MIGHT HAVE A PLAN
01:29MY INTEL SUGGESTS CHEF'S LYING ABOUT THE TP SITUATION HERE AT THE SCHOOL
01:35YOUR INTEL?
01:36YOU LEARN A LOT ABOUT PEOPLE'S BATHROOM HABITS
01:38WHEN YOUR NOSE IS THE SAME HEIGHT AS THEIR BUTTS
01:40TALK
01:41TALK
01:42HOW COULD YOU?
01:55I'M SORRY I'VE KEPT A SECRET STASH OF TP
01:59WHAT WAS I SUPPOSED TO USE?
02:01YESTERDAY YOU TOLD ME TO USE A CAN OF SOUP BECAUSE IT WAS THE SAME SHAPE
02:04NO I'M A BAD MAN
02:06BUT THIS IS MY LAST ROLE I SWEAR
02:08THIS IS OURS NOW
02:10YOU GOT A PROBLEM WITH THAT?
02:11CALL THIS NUMBER
02:12OH YOU BETTER BELIEVE I GOT A PROBLEM WITH THAT
02:16TOILET PAPER POLICE HOLD PLEASE
02:20OKAY
02:22I CAN TELL THEY'RE GOING TO TAKE THIS VERY SERIOUSLY BY THEIR HIGH QUALITY HOLD MUSIC
02:27WELL WHAT YOU WAITING FOR?
02:31WELL I DON'T THINK THERE'S ENOUGH LEFT ON THIS ROLL TO TAKE CARE OF WHAT I GOT GOING ON
02:36OKAY TMI
02:39WE NEED TO FIND ALL THE TP AND I KNOW HOW WITH THIS
02:44WOW HAROLD WHERE'D YOU GET ALL THE SPY GEAR?
02:48FROM THE SPY STORE
02:50IT WAS KEY TO MAKING THE BATHROOM LOOK COMPLETELY NATURAL
02:54IT'S TOO BAD THAT OUR TP STING HAD TO BE TONIGHT
02:59WE'RE MISSING THE FINALLY OF MASTER DOG CHEF
03:02THAT'S TONIGHT?
03:03QUICK FIND IT
03:04QUICK FIND IT
03:09WOW WHAT A FINALLY
03:11I CAN'T BELIEVE THEY DISQUALIFIED REX JUST FOR PEEING ON THE JUDGES
03:15I KNOW
03:16DOG'S GONNA DOG AM I RIGHT?
03:19WAIT
03:20WHY ARE WE WEARING THESE HEADSETS?
03:22THE TOILET PAPER
03:27NO!
03:28WAIT WHAT'S THAT?
03:30I KNOW THAT TALE
03:32TO THE SEWERS
03:34IT'S A MAZE DOWN HERE
03:36HOW ARE WE SUPPOSED TO FIND THIS SEWER MIKE GUY
03:39DOES ANYONE ELSE HEAR MUSIC?
03:42I THINK IT'S COMING FROM OVER THERE
03:44COME ON
03:46WHOA
03:47GUESS WE FOUND OUT WHERE ALL THE TOILET PAPER ENDED UP
03:49LIDAYS AND GENTLEMEN
03:51PUT YOUR HANDS TOGETHER
03:53FOR SEWER MIKE
03:55OH
03:57OH PLEASE
03:58YOU'RE TOO KIND
03:59KOSH WHAT A RECEPTION
04:01THIS IS A LITTLE NUMBER ABOUT THE WORST TOILET INNOVATION EVER
04:06WELL LOW FLOW'S A NO-GO
04:09WHEN YOU GO
04:10HOW I GO
04:11JUST LIKE A RHINO
04:13WEARING A KIMONO
04:14LOW FLOW
04:15NO-GO
04:16RHINO
04:17KIMONO
04:18LET'S FLUSH THE WHOLE THING DOWN
04:22THANK YOU
04:24I SHOULD'VE MENTIONED SEWER MIKE IS WONKY IN THE HEAD
04:27CUZ HE IS
04:29UH OH
04:30OWEN
04:31IS IT TIME?
04:32IT'S OKAY
04:33NO ONE CAN HOLD IT FOREVER
04:34NO IT'S THE SONG
04:36THAT GATOR HAS THE VOICE OF A ROUGH SCANDED ANGEL
04:39GREAT VOICE OR NOT
04:40LET'S RESCUE ALL THIS TP BEFORE SEWER MIKE NOTICES WE'RE HERE
04:44THE LAST THING WE NEED IS TO GET TRAPPED DOWN HERE
04:46WITH AN UNHINGED, KARAOKE SINGING, TOILET PAPER STEALING GATOR
04:51HE'S RIGHT BEHIND ME, ISN'T HE?
04:57DON'T WORRY
04:58CHEF HAS FOR SURE NOTICED WE'RE MISSING
05:00IT'S PROBABLY GONNA COME AROUND THE CORNER TO RESCUE US RIGHT NOW
05:03OR MAYBE NOW
05:04OR NOW
05:05OR NOW
05:06WHERE IS HE?
05:07ARE YOU GONNA EAT US?
05:10MAYBE LATER
05:12RIGHT NOW
05:14I WANT TO KNOW WHAT YOU'RE DOING WITH MY AUDIENCE
05:16THIS TOILET PAPER BELONGS TO EVERY
05:18SORRY
05:19DID YOU SAY AUDIENCE?
05:20I DID
05:25THEY'RE THE BEST AUDIENCE EVER
05:27KIND
05:28SUPPORTIVE
05:29ULTRA ABSORBENT
05:30I'M NOT SURE HOW ABSORBENCY IS A-
05:31IT ALL STARTED A FEW MONTHS AGO
05:34I JUST RETURNED FROM A PARTY AT A DAYCARE THAT TURNED OUT TO BE A BIT OF A WASHOUT
05:39HE MEANS CHASING KIDS THROUGH THE SEWERS LIKE A BIG DORK BECAUSE I DIDN'T WANT TO BE HIS FRIEND
05:44HAVE YOU EVER EATEN ALLIGATOR?
05:45NO
05:46WELL I'VE EATEN KID SO MAYBE LESS INTERRUPTING
05:50ANYWAY I GOT HOME TO FIND THIS GUY
05:55OH
05:57MR. TP YOU'RE ALIVE
05:59I GUESS A TEXT WAS TOO MUCH TO ASK
06:02MR. TP WAS MY FIRST AUDIENCE MEMBER
06:05IT WAS A GAME CHANGER
06:07I CRAVED A BIGGER AUDIENCE
06:09SO I WENT UP AND STOLE THEM
06:11AND AS MY AUDIENCE GREW SO DID MY SKILL
06:14UNTIL I BECAME THE GREATEST TALENT IN THE SEWERS
06:20WHAT THE STEALING IS WRONG
06:21ALL THIS TP BELONGS UP THERE
06:23BEFORE IT COMES BACK DOWN HERE
06:25SOUNDS LIKE I ONLY HAVE TWO CHOICES
06:27LET YOU TAKE MY FANS AND LIVE A SAD UNFULFILLED LIFE
06:31OR EAT YOU AND CONTINUE TO BE HAPPY
06:34WHAT TO DO WHAT TO DO
06:37SHHH SHHH
06:38HE'S THINKING
06:39I'VE GOT A GOOD FEELING ABOUT
06:41I'M GONNA EAT YA
06:43WAIT
06:44WHAT IF I GET YOU AN AUDIENCE THAT'S BETTER THAN TOILET PAPER
06:48HMM
06:49HARD TO SAY NO TO THAT
06:50BUT IF THIS DOESN'T WORK OUT
06:52I'LL EAT YOU KIDS TWICE AS HARD
06:54DEAL
06:55DEAL
06:56COOL
06:57I'LL START PREPARING MY VOCAL CHORTS FOR THIS
06:59BETTER AUDIENCE
07:00DA DA DA DA DA DA
07:01THIS IS AMAZING OWEN
07:03HOW'D YOU GET SO MANY PEOPLE TO SHOW UP
07:05EASY
07:06I PROMISED FREE TP AFTER THE SHOW IF THEY CHEER FOR EVERYTHING
07:09THANK YOU
07:10ENJOY THE SHOW
07:11AND YOUR CLEAN BUTTS
07:13I'M SO NERVOUS
07:15MAYBE THIS WAS A BAD IDEA
07:17STOP
07:18RELAX
07:19YOU'RE GONNA BE GREAT SEWER MIKE
07:21YEAH
07:22AND HUMANS ARE KNOWN FOR BEING
07:24FRIENDLY AND NON-JUDGEMENTAL
07:27ESPECIALLY WITH REPTILES
07:29LADIES AND GENTLEMEN
07:30PUT YOUR HANDS TOGETHER FOR SEWER MIKE
07:33IT'S TIME MIKE
07:34YOU CAN DO THIS
07:35OH, OKAY
07:44I CAN GET USED TO THIS
07:45IT'S WORKING
07:46NOW LET'S GO GET THAT TP
07:48LOFO
07:50NO GO
07:51RHINO
07:52KIMONO
07:53JUST FLUSHED THE WHOLE THING DOWN
07:56THANK YOU
07:58OKAY
07:59THAT ONE'S THE FIRST SONG OF MY NEW ALBUM
08:01I'M MIKE
08:02AND
08:03WE'VE BEEN CLAPPING FOR AN ALLIGATOR
08:06GET YOUR ROTTEN TOMATOES HERE
08:08HA
08:10I KNEW HUMANS COULD NEVER COMPETE WITH MY TP CROWD
08:16I'M GONNA CHUMP THOSE KIDS GOOD WHEN I FIND
08:19EAT
08:21DON'T MAKE ME RUN
08:23DON'T MAKE ME RUN
08:24OH
08:25ELL
08:26DON'T
08:33WAIT
08:34GUYS
08:35THIS IS IT FOR ME
08:36I GOTTA POOF TOO BAD
08:37I JUST NEED A ROLL
08:38AND YOU CAN GO ON WITHOUT ME
08:39NO OWEN
08:40WE'RE ALMOST HOME
08:41LOOK
08:42NOPE
08:43IT'S
08:44IT'S MY TIME
08:45ONE
08:46GROSS
08:47AND TWO
08:48I'VE GOT YOU NOW
08:49QUICK IT UP
08:50WHAT IS THAT?
08:54SOUNDS LIKE THREE KIDS AND A GATOR RIDING A WAGON FULL OF TOILET PAPER
08:59I'M IN THIS EPISODE
09:03YOU KIDS'LL PAY FOR THIS
09:15YOU'LL ALL PAY
09:17THIS ISN'T THE LAST YOU'VE SEEN OF SEWER MIKE
09:21HA HA HA HA HA HA HA
09:24WELL IT ALL CAME OUT OKAY IN THE END
09:28SPEAK FOR YOURSELF
09:30OH IT'S GONNA GLOW
09:32RUN
09:34CAN SOMEBODY PASS ME THE TEDDY BEAR
09:37DUDDY BEAR
09:39DUDDY BEAR