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00:00That's a shocking start.
00:04Tom!
00:12Yep, that's it.
00:14Where's Tom?
00:22No!
00:24I hate you.
00:28Let me out of here!
00:30Hello, it's Cast Master time.
00:40Tell your mum to come in from the shed and your dad to put some lippy on.
00:45Because it's 2025, you idiots.
00:47Your mums can be into woodworking and your dads are meant to look pretty.
00:51This is the show where five contestants duck and weave through my devious demands to win an item
00:57that's the source of the dandruff used to make gold flake vodka.
01:01It's the Task Master trophy.
01:03Those contestants are Dave Hughes.
01:09Emma Holland.
01:11Emma Holland.
01:13Lisa McKeown.
01:15Takashi Wakasugi.
01:17And Tommy Little.
01:19Hello!
01:21And beside me the guy who once said he'd love to see an all-female remake of Gallipoli.
01:28It's Tom Cashman.
01:29How's it going, Lesser Tom?
01:30I'm okay.
01:31It's tough for me at night, you know, because I'm a muso.
01:34Oh, right.
01:35It should be easy for you.
01:36Musicians love the nightlife.
01:37Out at night.
01:38Aren't you a night owl?
01:39Oh, sorry.
01:40I've been using it wrong.
01:41I thought muso referred to someone who likes muesli.
01:42I've been telling everyone I'm a muso.
01:45Yes, that's the end of it.
02:06Alright, let's kick things off.
02:12A prize task, please, Lyssa Tom.
02:13Of course. Tonight our prize task is
02:16the thing most worthy of being hidden when visitors come around.
02:19Ooh.
02:21So, you've got visitors at your house.
02:23What are you ashamed of?
02:24Lisa?
02:25I'm going to sound like a really bad mother,
02:27but it is my son's bedroom.
02:34Like, I actually have started sneaking in sometimes
02:37to take some of the washing out,
02:39to get some of it done, because it just piles up so badly.
02:42And now he's going to know because he likes watching the show.
02:45But I do...
02:45How old is he?
02:46Um, he'll be 21 soon.
02:50OK.
02:51So, Waka, you've got visitors.
02:52What are you ashamed of?
02:54I...
02:55think, uh...
02:56air fryer.
02:59I just don't like the conversation.
03:02Why?
03:03If someone came and found an air fryer,
03:04oh, they'd start talking about air fryer.
03:08Where did you get, how big this...
03:10Oh, yeah, yeah.
03:10It's very...
03:11boring.
03:14So, you don't like the chat that it generates,
03:16and then you brought it in this show.
03:17For the part of the show where we normally chat about a thing,
03:20you're annoying yourself now.
03:22No, just...
03:23Don't...
03:24Can we talk about...
03:24I love air fryer.
03:25Can we talk about that?
03:26Yeah.
03:27Seriously.
03:28Air fryer changed my life.
03:29Honestly, you slice a potato...
03:31This is great!
03:32Slice a potato...
03:33Tell me more!
03:33A little bit of salt, a little bit of olive oil...
03:36No, this is what I'm talking about!
03:38I know!
03:39I hate the conversation.
03:40Even better, Hughesy.
03:41Hey, if you are watching this show,
03:43and you're a big fan of Taskmaster,
03:44and you see Wucker in the street,
03:46ask him about his air fryer.
03:47He would love it!
03:49No!
03:50Stop him!
03:53All right, uh, Tommy, what are you ashamed of?
03:55Well, mine will sound good until you see it.
03:58Years ago, I did a sketch for our dear friend and comedian,
04:03and from this show, Luke McGregor,
04:05and it's a framed picture of all of us,
04:07but have a look.
04:17Now, the reason I don't like having it out is obvious,
04:20because it starts a conversation.
04:23And for the record,
04:25Hughesy's is the only one that's accurate.
04:27No, no, can I say,
04:29and Luke did a great job with that show,
04:31because it gets played in schools,
04:33and it's been played in my own children's schools,
04:36and they say,
04:37is that your dad?
04:41It is crazy to label the one man of colour in that photo as other.
04:52All right, Emma, what are you ashamed of?
04:55Uh, it's my full-scale model skeleton.
04:58Oh.
05:01Uh, he sits in my house,
05:02and the only place he fits is this chair at the end of my bed.
05:05Um...
05:08I love his little cuck chair.
05:09I think it's really cute.
05:10Uh, and also, when we have guests over,
05:12particularly, like, my husband's parents,
05:14when they come over, we don't want them to see a full-scale skeleton,
05:17because it'll scare them, so I put him in my car,
05:18because there's no other place for him.
05:20What message are you sending by doing that?
05:23It's like that you...
05:24Oh, I am unwell.
05:25Yeah.
05:26OK, so, Dave.
05:28Yes.
05:29It's a pillow, which is a weird thing to hide,
05:31because you shouldn't be ashamed of a pillow, should you?
05:33Um...
05:34So...
05:35That's my phone.
05:36So that's, um...
05:38It doesn't look like a pillow.
05:39It looks like you're getting a massage.
05:41I'm...
05:42I'm...
05:43It does.
05:46It makes me feel a bit egocentric
05:49to have it on display when visitors come over, so...
05:52You find that egocentric?
05:53Yeah, I'm...
05:54Yeah.
05:55Husey, for those who don't know,
05:56when we're in a foreign city
05:58and we're walking at night together,
05:59he refuses to walk with us,
06:01because if someone asks us for a photo and not him,
06:04he gets offended.
06:05And so...
06:08No, I don't get offended, I get sad.
06:11So...
06:12Which is different, so...
06:13And you're all very well known in your own rights
06:15and deserve recognition,
06:17but just, I don't want it around me.
06:18Uh...
06:19So, yeah.
06:20So, but anyway.
06:21I'm sick of people wanting to, uh,
06:23draw, paint me for the Archie board, alright?
06:25So...
06:26This is all...
06:28Stop it!
06:28This is all great, relatable stuff.
06:31No, because they pay you for the Archie board,
06:33you don't win, they don't even get in the final,
06:34and then...
06:35They put the painting up on eBay
06:37and I have to buy it!
06:38I know.
06:41How many?
06:42How many do you have?
06:43I've got about three at home.
06:45LAUGHTER
06:46APPLAUSE
06:48APPLAUSE
06:50LAUGHTER
06:51I've got to allocate some points here, as always.
06:53It's pretty challenging.
06:55Yeah?
06:56I'm going to give one point to Waka.
06:57OK.
06:58And I do encourage anyone who does run into Waka to have a chat about it.
07:00It's a great chat, no need to be ashamed of it.
07:03Chat about it.
07:04LAUGHTER
07:05Don't talk to me.
07:06I'm not air private, anyway.
07:08Tommy Little, you get two points,
07:09because you had HIV and you're referring to that as a negative
07:12and some people live with it.
07:13No, no, I'm referring to it.
07:14And it's nothing to be ashamed of.
07:15LAUGHTER
07:16And I'd hate for anyone at home to feel terrible
07:18because of Tommy Little's poorly thought through comedy.
07:22LAUGHTER
07:23APPLAUSE
07:24I'm going to give three points to Emma,
07:26because I feel like a skeleton, it's not that embarrassing.
07:29Four points to Lisa, because I could smell the photo.
07:33LAUGHTER
07:34But five points is going to go to Husey,
07:36because, ugh, that pillow's disgusting.
07:38LAUGHTER
07:39APPLAUSE
07:42APPLAUSE
07:43All right.
07:44So we know what they're playing for.
07:46How are they playing for it, Lester Tom?
07:48For this next task, my tunnel vision really came in handy.
07:51LAUGHTER
08:04Hi, Emma.
08:09Oh, my God.
08:10LAUGHTER
08:12Hi, Walker.
08:13Hello, Tom.
08:14Oh, hi, Tom.
08:16Do you want me to come and read it next to you
08:17so we can be together?
08:18Yeah, if you want, why not?
08:19OK.
08:20Ah!
08:22Oh, my God!
08:23Oh, my God!
08:24Oh, my God!
08:26Oh, she...
08:27Oh!
08:28Oh!
08:29Oh!
08:30They just work on the show.
08:32LAUGHTER
08:33Do it.
08:34Sneak the sticky-taped balloon
08:36along the tunnel to Tom.
08:38Oh.
08:39It's about the balloon that was back there.
08:41Yep.
08:42The lights will turn off for five seconds
08:45every eight seconds.
08:47If Tom sees the balloon when the lights are on,
08:49you must start again.
08:51Whenever the lights come on,
08:52you must wave at Tom with both hands.
08:55If the balloon pops, you will be disqualified.
08:58Fastest to get the balloon to Tom wins.
09:01Your time starts now.
09:04Oh, Phoebe, five seconds for eight seconds.
09:07Hang on.
09:08Five seconds for eight seconds.
09:09Careful of the spooky people.
09:10Ah!
09:17What happened, Tommy?
09:18Were you frightened to learn
09:19that there were other people working on the show?
09:23Embarrassingly, yes.
09:26OK, who's down the shaft first?
09:28As the youngest contestants,
09:29they were probably mucking around with balloons
09:31most recently.
09:32It's Wakka and Emma.
09:33OK.
09:34Might as well just give it a go, hey?
09:39Hi, Tom.
09:41I can see the balloon.
09:42Please return to the start.
09:49Please wave, Emma.
09:50Hi, Tom.
09:51You're not really waving to me.
09:56Faster.
09:57Faster.
10:01Wait, wait, wait, wait.
10:02I can see the balloon.
10:03Yeah.
10:04Oh, this is hard.
10:08I saw the balloon.
10:09All right.
10:11Hi, Tom.
10:12Hi, Emma.
10:16Yes!
10:17I got it.
10:18I can put...
10:21Actually, I can move here that time, actually.
10:28Hi, Tom.
10:29Hi, Tom.
10:30Hi, Tom.
10:31Hi, Tom.
10:32Hi, Tom.
10:33Hi, Tom.
10:34He scared the shit out of me.
10:38Two minutes and 20 seconds left.
10:42Take it, take it, take it, take it, take it, take it.
10:44Oh, it's the task again.
10:45Yeah.
10:46What?
10:47Touch the balloon.
10:48What?
10:49All the information you need is in the top.
10:50What?
10:51All the information you need is in the top.
10:52What?
10:53What?
10:54What?
10:55All the information you need is in the top.
10:56What is the way to reach Tom to win?
10:57Give me the balloon.
10:58OK, OK.
10:59All the information you need is in the top.
11:00What is the way to reach Tom to win?
11:01Give me the balloon.
11:02OK, OK.
11:03When you're done.
11:04Thanks, Waka.
11:06Bye, Tom.
11:07Bye, Emma.
11:08Oh, my God.
11:09It happened again.
11:10So, Waka, what did you think the task was?
11:11You just had to run to the end, pretend you were pregnant, then rub your belly on the
11:39I thought it's finished.
11:40You know, I already arrived and then I said hello to Tom and I thought it's finished.
11:45So, you thought it was finished because you said hello, so then you desperately rubbed
11:48your tummy on him.
11:49I touched the thumb too.
11:50Shake your hands there.
11:51So, you took the plinth with you, Emma.
11:53How do you think that worked?
11:55It was pretty arduous on my big muscles.
11:58But I made it work.
12:00And so, before that you were trying something else, you were just trying to stash them behind
12:03those pillars.
12:04Yeah, but like, because of the nature of the balloon, it just kind of kept floating out.
12:08And so, I didn't really...
12:09Right.
12:10Honestly, I felt like it was the only option for me, what I ended up doing.
12:13Emma's plinth shuffling took 10 minutes and 17 seconds.
12:17And Waka, even after doing 99% of the task and then starting again, took exactly nine minutes.
12:26Okay, Emma and Waka have done well and earned two minutes on their Game Boy Color.
12:30We'll have a little rest, a few cordials and see you after this.
12:35Welcome back to Taskmaster.
12:49We've got balloons, we've got the dark.
12:51Come on in, little children.
12:53That's right.
12:54Our contestants are trying to sneak a balloon down a tunnel.
12:56If I see the balloon while the lights are on, the contestants must go back to the start.
13:01Up next, our older contestants.
13:03Did they struggle in the tunnel because they kept reaching for the light at the end of it?
13:06It's Lisa and Dave.
13:08I saw the balloon.
13:09Ah, yeah, I know.
13:10I'm starting again, yeah?
13:11Yes.
13:12Ah!
13:13I know, you saw the balloon.
13:14I saw the balloon.
13:15Oh, shit.
13:16It didn't.
13:17Ah!
13:18Thanks, Lisa.
13:19It popped.
13:20Your time starts now.
13:41Thanks, Dave.
13:52Those rocks have not been eroded enough.
13:56Please walk back down the tunnel, Dave.
13:59It's not my finest moment!
14:06So, Dave, when the task is to not pop the balloon, that's key,
14:10why did you think putting it against a wall of sharp rocks would help?
14:15Balloons are stronger in my day and, yeah,
14:19so for me it was the last task of the day
14:22and it was beer o'clock earlier than they thought it was going to be.
14:25Lisa, I think I'm glad yours popped
14:27because you didn't seem to be very good at hiding the balloon.
14:31It was poking out all over the place.
14:33I know, and look, it does look worse.
14:35I took longer in between.
14:36It didn't happen that quickly, but basically I was really shit at it.
14:39Well, I think I'm kind of relieved, actually,
14:41because they're both, you know,
14:43some of the oldest contestants on the show.
14:45And I just feel like if you did run further down the corridor
14:48and you discovered the crew that were working there...
14:51I'm just worried you could have had a heart scare.
14:56And I mean, spare a thought for the crew as well, Tom,
14:59because obviously if Lisa comes down the crew are going to scare Lisa,
15:02but if Husey comes down the crew are going to shit themselves.
15:06So Lisa's balloon popped after two minutes and 35 seconds.
15:10I think Dave's effort, you could argue,
15:11what he did was indistinguishable from if the envelope had said,
15:14pop the balloon.
15:16It popped after 24 seconds.
15:18You know, at least you offered us some brevity.
15:23Cashman, let's go.
15:24Like a helium balloon, the only way he knows how to have fun
15:27is to get really high.
15:28It's Tommy Little.
15:30Whenever the lights are on,
15:32you must flail both hands in the air and scream loudly.
15:36Your time starts now.
15:38Just making...
15:40Ah!
15:41Ah!
15:43Ah!
15:44Ah!
15:45Ah!
15:46Ah!
15:47Ah!
15:48Ah!
15:49Ah!
15:50Ah!
15:51Ah!
15:52Ah!
15:53Ah!
15:54Ah!
15:55Ah!
15:56Ah!
15:57Ah!
15:58Ah!
15:59Ah!
16:00Ah!
16:01Ah!
16:02Hello!
16:03Hi, Tommy.
16:04Hi, Tommy.
16:05Oh, my God, don't pop.
16:07I saw the balloon. Please go back to the star.
16:12What the ?
16:24It's dark. It's dark. Take the balloon. Take the balloon.
16:27You savage.
16:30Thanks, Tommy.
16:31You can keep the lights on when I walk away.
16:33Exit's that way.
16:34Good.
16:37F*** you.
16:43Yeah, so, Tommy, we accidentally worded your task a bit differently.
16:47Barely discernible, though.
16:50And so, ultimately, you just did Waka's trick. You just stuffed it up your shirt.
16:54Well, to be fair, I didn't know it was Waka's trick, so, according to me, it was my trick.
16:59Sorry, I'll pick that up. Waka did Tommy's trick.
17:02And we both didn't read a task in the end.
17:07Well, Tommy, he flailed only in the literal sense. He took just three minutes and 52 seconds.
17:17That means Dave and Lisa get zero points, Emma gets three, Waka gets four.
17:24But Tommy wins the task with five points.
17:29And in terms of scores for the overall episode, we've got Emma on six.
17:32But Tommy's in the lead with seven points.
17:35All right, let's move on from this unholy service shaft.
17:40I'm just getting word I've been granted three wishes.
17:43I wish for a new task.
17:44I wish for it to be entertaining.
17:46And my third wish is for everyone to know how thankful I am for those first two wishes.
17:50It's a long way. I should have taken the bike.
18:08I jog because I love tasks with you. Just the usual.
18:16Flip a coin from the furthest distance into the wishing well.
18:20You must make a new wish with every flip.
18:23You have five minutes. Your time starts now.
18:26All right, it's easy one, simple one.
18:28World peace. Let's do a new world peace and an easy one.
18:32That's good. We're going well.
18:33Ten million bucks.
18:39I think the duck is laughing at your wish.
18:40I want to be cool.
18:42I wish it stopped looking at me like that.
18:46That's okay.
18:48I wish I had longer legs.
18:52I want to be popular.
18:55I wish I could see Coldplay live again.
18:58But my hair continues to be luscious.
19:03I want a helicopter.
19:05I want a plane.
19:06Oh, you mother.
19:09Did I get that one in?
19:10Yeah.
19:11Oh, yay.
19:12There's hope for me yet.
19:15What's that?
19:22Make the wish from your last successful flip come true.
19:27Truest made wish wins.
19:29You have 30 minutes.
19:30Your time starts now.
19:31I don't even remember what the wish was.
19:32What was my last successful flip?
19:34What did I say?
19:36Do you remember what your...
19:37Yes.
19:38We all remember what it was.
19:47So just to be clear, we want to see them make their last wish come true, but we haven't seen it yet.
19:53That's correct.
19:55We got an insight into how privileged Husey's life is.
19:57Most people just want their life to be better.
19:59Husey just wants to continue to have luscious hair.
20:04On the other hand, in Husey's defence, his first wish was world peace.
20:07Tommy's first wish was $10 million for himself.
20:09Okay, let's get this wish list cranking.
20:12First up, with the most Tommy Little wish imaginable.
20:15It's Tommy Little.
20:17What's the most cliche thing you think I would wish for?
20:19A bigger dick.
20:20Who cares about the rest of the task?
20:21How big is it at the moment?
20:22It's not big.
20:23That's actually good for this though.
20:24I can't just get an erection on TV.
20:41Heat might help.
20:43No, but even then, comparatively, it'll make my balls appear bigger and my dick look even smaller.
20:49So you only ever measure the size of the penis relative to the balls?
20:54That's good.
20:55I don't know what's good about what I just said.
20:58I just thought I could make my balls smaller and so comparatively.
21:03If I put ice down my pants and you scare me, is that television?
21:09I think that's fun.
21:10How long we got?
21:1116 minutes and 20 seconds.
21:13Okay.
21:14I figured you could scare me as a clown.
21:15Okay.
21:16And remember, somehow, this is to make my dick bigger.
21:19Okay, yup.
21:20Okay.
21:21Are you ready?
21:22Yup.
21:23Ahh!
21:24Okay, close your eyes.
21:26Oh my God!
21:27Ugh!
21:28Chuck, hurry up!
21:29Tommy, open your eyes in five seconds.
21:32Countdown.
21:33Five, four, three, two, one.
21:36Ahh!
21:37Ahh!
21:38Oh!
21:39Oh!
21:40Oh!
21:41How do you think you went?
21:42Not good, bro.
21:43So Tommy, first of all, congratulations for being on brand.
21:50I'll have it known, getting an erection was the easy option and I chose not to take it.
21:56So, you were wanting to create the illusion of largeness via making something else smaller?
22:04Yes.
22:05And hoping I wasn't secretly aroused by clients.
22:06Okay, but was your wish that you wanted to make it seem bigger or that you wanted to
22:11make it bigger?
22:12Seem bigger?
22:13Seem bigger?
22:14I think it was you wanted to make it bigger.
22:15Yeah, bigger.
22:16Yeah.
22:17So, I think it would have been unchanged in length, perhaps even shrunk a bit just from
22:20the...
22:21It definitely would have shrunk.
22:22Did you see that tape measure?
22:23I was no way that big before.
22:24He has got us a little bit in that he's not allowed to measure it.
22:25We kind of have to trust him to some degree for the measurement.
22:30I think Kashmir's right.
22:31You've got to trust Tommy Big Dick on this one.
22:36You've got to trust Tommy Big Dick on this one.
22:37I think he's not allowed to measure it.
22:39Yeah, so do you think it's made more progress than the other thing that's going
22:41about?
22:42It doesn't seem bigger or that you want to make it bigger.
22:45Seem bigger or that you want to make it bigger?
22:47Seem bigger?
22:48I think it was you wanted to make it bigger.
22:49I think Kashmir's right. You've got to trust Tommy Big Dick on this one.
22:54OK, they've just told me we're going to take a break,
22:57but I think that's code for the show has been cancelled.
23:01Thanks to Tommy.
23:04Find out whether we're back or not soon!
23:19Welcome back to Taskmaster.
23:21We're in the throes of a task and wishing for a good outcome, aren't we, Tom?
23:25That's right. Tommy was first, and we all know what Tommy did.
23:30Next up, like a stingy genie, she'll only make one wish come true.
23:33It's Emma Holland.
23:35I wish I knew what it meant to love.
23:38Why did I say that?
23:40I'm going to try and develop a love friendship with you in the next 30...
23:4326 minutes and 38 seconds.
23:44OK, what's your favourite childhood memory?
23:46The only thing that's coming to mind is me winning cross-country.
23:49OK, I feel like I could learn to love you if I saw you in a moment of pure joy.
23:56OK.
23:56And I think a moment of pure joy would be you winning a race.
24:00Ready?
24:00Yeah.
24:01Set.
24:02Congratulations.
24:21Well done.
24:22Wow.
24:23Now I know what it means to love.
24:24I feel like that's what nerd love looks like.
24:32You look like you're met at a flash mob.
24:36That's the meanest thing anyone's ever said to me.
24:39OK, so you wanted to know what it meant to love, and you're married.
24:44And I presume your husband's watching the show, and so that's awkward.
24:51It's like, you know, I'm on the screen, I'm playing a character, you know, I'm not really me.
24:56OK.
24:57Can we establish that you do love your husband?
24:59Yeah, if you want to say that, sure, yeah.
25:03All right, Cashman, I wish for us to see another go.
25:06Will there be wishful thinkers or bashful stinkers?
25:09It's Waka and Lisa.
25:10I want a steak tonight.
25:12I wish that I could cook a souffle.
25:17Yes!
25:18Steak!
25:23Do you smell?
25:25Do you know?
25:26Do you want to whisk the egg whites?
25:28I reckon you've probably got about 10 minutes left of that, and then we'll be great.
25:3110 minutes of this?
25:32Yep.
25:33So, 190 on the oven.
25:36Make-A-Wish is great, but don't be too big.
25:39Small steps.
25:40Small dream.
25:41Makes you happy.
25:42Does it say anything in there about what to do when your arm starts getting sore?
25:45Hey, and just keep going.
25:46You're building up muscle.
25:47Just don't worry about the pain.
25:49Beat the egg yolks well.
25:50Oh, sorry, it's these you've got to beat, not those.
25:53It's all right, just start on those.
25:54It'll be all right.
25:54It's good for you.
25:55I'm going to do a warm basin of warm water.
26:03Just chuck the eggs in there just to warm them.
26:05I can't find a sifter, and I'm just going to sift it through your hands.
26:08Hey, who does the dishes here?
26:10Um, me.
26:11Okay.
26:12Oh, my God.
26:13I accidentally poured water into the...
26:14Oh, my God!
26:18We've got to do it again.
26:19Do you reckon I get a couple of minutes back for the, um, the moment that you, um, put the
26:31water in my eggs?
26:32Unfortunately not.
26:33I'm sorry.
26:34It's just going to be a fast rise.
26:36I did everything perfect in this task.
26:48How do you feel?
26:50Deflated.
26:51Hope you eat steak tonight.
26:59Is this your philosophy in life, Waka?
27:01Yeah, and it looks good, right?
27:02Looks good.
27:03You know what?
27:04Because I didn't use air fryer.
27:06Better.
27:13Waka got very lucky.
27:15If I could read out some other wishes you made.
27:18I want to be cool.
27:19I want to be tall.
27:20I want to win Taskmaster.
27:22I want to travel more.
27:23I want to buy a house.
27:23I want to live longer.
27:24I want to be a genius.
27:26And then I want to eat a steak tonight.
27:28That goes in.
27:29So, Lisa, I haven't eaten too many souffles that are just watery eggs.
27:40Yeah, and look, I was hoping my experience would be a little more like your experience with your steak.
27:44But I think we had a few issues in the kitchen and it just, it turned to shit.
27:49And that's okay.
27:50And I would like to formally apologize.
27:52You did tell me to put the egg yolks down under the sink, but then I forgot about it and washed my hands.
27:57It was a mistake and we make mistakes and that's okay.
28:00That's all right.
28:02I really like you and I would love to cook more souffles with you one day.
28:06I really enjoyed your company in the kitchen.
28:08I can see, like, I fell in love in that moment.
28:11A little bit like, like, you should have cooked with him because it was a moment.
28:15Yeah, I love Tom.
28:19Lisa's being very sweet.
28:20If I could just read out a few of your other wishes, which are very sweet.
28:24I wish that all these little ducks would start quacking.
28:28I really wish that Tom Gleeson was here.
28:31I wish to be on a mountain where it's snowing in a warm cabin.
28:34I wish for my children to stay at home forever.
28:36Oh!
28:38I do.
28:38I like doing their washing.
28:41Lisa failed with the souffle, did not achieve the wish, but it's kind of your fault, buddy.
28:46No, I'm happy to cop it, but I don't want him to take the blame for it.
28:49I'm happy to take one point.
28:50It was Tom's fault my dick didn't get bigger.
28:59Are you saying that your normal amount of horniness was reduced to a point where an erection didn't kick in,
29:05where if I wasn't there, it would have?
29:07Shut up, dick shrinker.
29:08Okay, let's souffle our way to the final attempt, Tom Cashman.
29:14Will he be wishing poorly or wishing well?
29:16It's Dave Hughes.
29:17Ah, my wife doesn't buy too many cats.
29:21God for that.
29:23I've got to ring my wife and convince her not to buy any more cats.
29:26I'll convince her by saying, honey, I got scratched by a cat.
29:29They think I might have a cat infection.
29:30If my cat-infected blood gets infected by another cat, could be curtains for me.
29:35I've got feline aids.
29:37I feel like I need to send her a photo of a scratch.
29:41Oh, my gosh, this is beautiful.
29:43I just got bitten by a stray cat.
29:47Now I don't feel great.
29:49Production's freaking out.
29:51I'm going to call it.
29:52Come on.
29:53Come on.
29:53You've got an antsy.
29:55Your husband's bleeding to death.
29:57Hi.
29:58You've caused 0-4-2.
29:59All right, all right, all right, all right, all right.
30:01No, I don't want to worry you, honey.
30:03I don't.
30:03I'm not here to worry you.
30:04But my arm's starting to blow up.
30:05I've got an issue.
30:06They said contact next of kin.
30:08I'm going to ring one more time.
30:09Just come on.
30:10And if that's it, babe, are you going to the doctors or hospital?
30:15I just saw your messages.
30:16I don't know.
30:17It's weird.
30:18I don't know.
30:18I'm guessing you wouldn't feel sick straight away from something like that,
30:21but I still think you should definitely go get it checked out.
30:23All right, all right, baby, all right.
30:24My husband got bitten by a diseased animal.
30:27So you're going to go to the doctors or the hospital?
30:28Yeah, we'll sort it out.
30:29I'll talk to you later.
30:30All right, babe.
30:30I want to hear everyone wants to hear how you're going to go.
30:32Yeah, I'll talk to you.
30:33All right, thank you.
30:34Sorry, sweetie.
30:35Bye, bye, bye.
30:36I think I've done pretty well there.
30:37She took it very seriously.
30:40Are you going to call her and clarify?
30:42Nah, she'd be wrong.
30:51You seem pretty happy just to let your wife worry from then on, you see.
30:55Yeah, I didn't want any more cats, guys.
30:58I honestly didn't.
30:59We had one cat at the time, so I wanted to keep it that way.
31:02So your wish was to not have any more cats?
31:04Yeah.
31:05How many cats do you have now?
31:06I've got three now, so.
31:10So this is becoming rather easy to score, because I feel like straightaway it's obvious
31:18that Husey's wish didn't come true.
31:20Okay.
31:20And also Tommy Little's wish didn't come true.
31:23Coulda, coulda, coulda.
31:25So I'm going to give them all one.
31:27Okay.
31:27I'm going to give two points to Lisa, because it's your fault that the souffle failed.
31:31Emma Holland, it kind of came true, so I'll give her two points.
31:35But it definitely came true for Wucca, so five points.
31:39Yes!
31:41So one, one, two, two, five for Wucca.
31:44Okay.
31:45Okay, it's time to take the TV version of a sleep and go to a break.
31:48Have some little sweet dreams, and we'll see you in the morrow.
31:52Welcome back to Classmaster, where we just donated all the coins from our wishing well
32:11to Tom Cashman's charity of choice, Nerds Against Wedgies.
32:16This next one has smoke, so you know it's fire.
32:18Hey, matey boy.
32:36Hi, Dave.
32:38I have no idea what's this.
32:39Is this a smoke machine?
32:41Yeah.
32:43As opposed to you, a smoke show.
32:48I find this space really creepy.
32:51Oh.
32:52I just wanted to tell you that.
32:54Unveil something unsophisticated with this smoke machine.
32:57You must emit smoke in 20 minutes.
32:59And your unveil begins when the smoke clears.
33:03Most unsophisticated unveiling wins.
33:06Your time starts now.
33:08Do you consider yourself to be a very sophisticated person?
33:10No.
33:12No.
33:13I try very hard not to be.
33:15What's the most sophisticated you've ever felt?
33:17I had my hair in a bun once.
33:19Yeah, that was a pretty good day.
33:20I'm trying really hard to think of something that just doesn't involve bums, farts, boobs,
33:27dicks.
33:28I think I'm going to build something really ugly.
33:29My rig's not in great shape.
33:32It's too sophisticated.
33:33But yours looks savage.
33:36I reckon you could be nude eating a kebab.
33:40I'm going to be back.
33:41Well, no.
33:41You'll be back.
33:42It'll come.
33:43I don't know.
33:43We'll find out.
33:50So, Tommy, what about Lesser Tom's rig makes you think unsophisticated?
33:55Um, a fair bit about it.
33:57Um, we actually had quite an honest conversation and Tom looked me in the eyes and he said,
34:02out of the two of us, I have the comedy body.
34:06Okay.
34:07Well, who's smoking up first?
34:09Attempting to be unsophisticated, it's two of the most polite people I've ever met.
34:13Emma and Lisa.
34:13Oh, my God.
34:38I have to leave.
34:48I'm so sorry.
34:49I just have to go.
34:51It is so bad.
34:54Voila.
34:56Do you like it?
35:00I'm really sorry.
35:02I'm sorry.
35:03I'm sorry to you, Tom.
35:04I'm sorry to Tom.
35:06I'm sorry I couldn't make it go any higher.
35:09This is a chicken and he's using the cutler in the wrong hands and he's got a really big
35:14dong and I reckon that's pretty unsophisticated.
35:17I was trying to make the taskmaster have an erection because I thought it was really unsophisticated.
35:24Thanks, Emma.
35:25Can I go?
35:25Okay.
35:26Thanks, Tom.
35:27Can I go now, please?
35:28I'm so embarrassed.
35:30I'm so embarrassed.
35:33Oh, my God.
35:34The displeasure that it brought you, Lisa, brought a lot of pleasure to me.
35:46I'm so glad.
35:47I mean, I didn't want to be disrespectful to you and I didn't want to go that way.
35:52I didn't want to go to the Tommy Little way.
35:54I think a lot of people would be offended by what you just said, but I don't want you
35:59to go my way either.
36:01You're at least, I mean this with all my heart, you're above it.
36:04Emma, I feel like you buried the lead because you were worried about your creation having
36:12cutler in the wrong hand, which is very unsophisticated, but I feel like it's trumped by having its cock
36:19out.
36:21You know what?
36:22I think it speaks for itself.
36:25It was the last task of a really long day and I had lost my mind.
36:30OK, all right, well, onwards, more.
36:33Next up, being discourteous, it's another one of the most polite people I've ever met
36:36and Dave Hughes, it's Wakka and Dave Hughes.
36:41The most unsophisticated thing in the world.
36:46Salt.
36:48I'm a fish.
36:50I'm a fish, but I don't like being fish because fish is unsophisticated.
36:56Some call it the essence of life.
37:00Others call it things bogans put on food before they taste.
37:04I hate being water.
37:05I want to be on the ground and then play very sophisticated sports, golf.
37:19It is well.
37:24Golf is boring.
37:26I'm going back to the water.
37:28I've done it.
37:31I do it.
37:45So I see what you're going for, Hughes, the idea of putting salt on something, seasoning
37:49food before trying it.
37:50Yes, my wife gets angry at me for doing it.
37:52OK.
37:53I really enjoy it.
37:54So, you know, you've got to die of something, so let's go.
37:58Now, Wakka.
37:59Yes.
38:00What the f*** was that?
38:04I just, I've been, I've been searching and looking and really polite to this point,
38:11but we're at episode four and I just got to be honest, I don't know what the f*** was going
38:15on.
38:16Good question.
38:16Yeah.
38:17So first, fish.
38:20They had the technology and they'd have a language, you know, fish is less than human, you know.
38:26Oh, so in terms of evolution.
38:28Yeah.
38:28And also that, I don't know what's it called.
38:31A trike?
38:31I use that.
38:32Oh, yeah, yeah.
38:33A trike?
38:33Like, what, that's an unsophisticated mode of transport?
38:36Compared to other, you know, cars or, you know, trains, you know.
38:39Yeah, OK.
38:40Good.
38:40See?
38:41That's true.
38:42See?
38:44I'm not sure that's the laughter of agreement.
38:46I think that's the laughter of bamboozlement.
38:48I know.
38:50All right, time for an ad break.
38:52Why not do the sophisticated thing and just sit there watching them, acknowledging the time
38:56and the effort that some advertising schmuck put into trying to coax money from you.
39:01Back soon.
39:03Welcome back to Taskmaster, where our female contestants have just debased themselves with
39:21jokes about dons.
39:22Yes, we're doing a task that asks for an unsophisticated unveiling with a smoke machine.
39:27Being unsophisticated should be a real stretch for him.
39:30Last up, it's smoke show Tommy Little.
39:31It's real good.
39:48Keep going.
39:49That's probably enough.
40:01Yeah.
40:02Great.
40:02Thanks, Dom.
40:03First question I have to ask is about your underpants.
40:16Were they medical?
40:20Tommy wanted me to look nude and so dressed me in skin-coloured underpants so they could
40:25blur it, but then just didn't blur it.
40:27Sorry, to be clear, I didn't mean to stitch you up like that.
40:32I was as shocked as you at no blur.
40:35It did make it look like you were just wearing a Depends.
40:38Oh God, okay, well, I have to score this.
40:42Yes.
40:43No one ever thinks about what it's like to be a Taskmaster when you have to deal with
40:46all this shit.
40:47Sure.
40:50Okay, well, I feel like all the unveilings were kind of the same.
40:52They were just emerged from the smoke in pretty much the same way, so it really just comes
40:55down to the sophistication.
40:56Okay.
40:56The most unsophisticated, I think, well, I think it was you.
41:02I mean, you nude eating a kebab, I just don't want to see that ever again.
41:06So I think it's five to Tommy Little.
41:07Okay.
41:11And then starting at the other end, out of all of them, it's the most sophisticated,
41:15and that's just watching Husey eat some salt.
41:17Okay.
41:18Oh, that's harsh.
41:20So I'm one, am I?
41:22Yeah, you're one.
41:23Yeah, well, it's your show, so whatever.
41:24Okay, two for Wakka, three for Emma, and four for Lisa, because I feel like they had
41:30similar vibes there to Unsophisticated Reveals, but I felt more menaced.
41:34My erection was better, I felt.
41:36Well, yeah, I was going for flaccid.
41:40I just want to make that quite clear.
41:41So was I.
41:48Yeah, so I'm giving four points to Lisa, because I felt personally targeted, so I felt
41:52like my feelings were hurt, so I want to reward that.
41:57Okay, so that's one point for Dave, two for Wakka, three for Emma, four for Lisa, and
42:01five points for Tommy Little.
42:05And in terms of the overall episode, there's only four points separating the top four, with
42:10Tommy out in front with 13 points.
42:12All right, everyone, up to the stage for the final task of the show.
42:25All right, Lisa, Tom, you're my man on the ground up there.
42:27What's going on?
42:28Lisa is about to read a task.
42:30Okay, land a sandbag on the scoreboard, then say a word with the number of letters, equal
42:39to your landed score.
42:41Oh!
42:42Okay, your word must begin with your randomly assigned letter.
42:48If you fail to say a correct word within three seconds of landing, you will get zero points
42:55for that round.
42:57There will be three rounds.
42:59Most points wins.
43:00All right, this is good.
43:01Come on.
43:02Your first, Lisa.
43:03Okay.
43:04CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
43:07F.
43:12Follow.
43:13That's correct.
43:14L.
43:15Letter.
43:16That's correct.
43:17Emma, please step up to the map.
43:18C.
43:19Uh, cataract?
43:20That is incorrect.
43:21It has eight letters.
43:22Come on, Tommy.
43:23Tommy.
43:24F.
43:25To six, follow.
43:29That is correct.
43:35Dave, please, follow.
43:37That's correct.
43:42Dave, please, follow.
43:43Dave, please step up for that.
43:45H.
43:4812.
43:50Hermaphrodite.
43:52This would be huge.
43:54It's got to be close.
43:55This would be huge.
43:56Hermaphrodite has 13 characters.
43:58Oh, that's hurtful.
44:02On to the second round.
44:04Lisa.
44:05Okay.
44:06E.
44:08Elite.
44:09That's incorrect.
44:10No.
44:11This is hard.
44:12Micah.
44:14F.
44:17Seven.
44:18Frixble.
44:19That's incorrect.
44:20That's eight characters.
44:22Good effect.
44:23Emma, are you ready?
44:24C.
44:27You've landed on the arrow.
44:29You get zero points.
44:31Some of you, are you ready?
44:33H.
44:36Seven.
44:37Heavenly.
44:38That's incorrect.
44:39Damn!
44:40That's eight letters.
44:41Dave, please stand on the mat.
44:43A.
44:45That's ten characters.
44:48Anachronism.
44:52That's incorrect.
44:53Oh, how many?
44:54Eleven letters.
44:56I'm so close.
44:57What's anachronism?
44:58Oh, it's...
44:59Oh, I don't really know.
45:02All right.
45:03Well, if my random letter was B, then the number would be five and my word would be break.
45:08Because we're about to have one.
45:09See you in a bit.
45:10Welcome back to Taskmaster.
45:23No need for me to chew your ear off.
45:25Tom Cashman.
45:26Tom Cashman.
45:27Can you set the stage?
45:28We're down to the final round and the devil is at play because Dave and Emma are on zero,
45:32but Lisa, Tommy and Wacker are all on six.
45:35It's 6-6-6 going into the final round.
45:38It's anyone's game.
45:39Lisa, please step up to the mat.
45:41E.
45:42Y.
45:43Four.
45:44Ten letters.
45:46Yellowish.
45:47Incorrect.
45:48That's nine letters.
45:50Wacker.
45:51F.
45:54Three letters.
45:58Four.
45:59Correct!
46:04Emma.
46:05N.
46:07That's seven characters.
46:08Neater.
46:09That's incorrect.
46:10That's six letters.
46:12Tommy, you need four to take the lead.
46:15T.
46:18Four letters.
46:19Tramp.
46:20Correct!
46:23Dave, Tommy is on ten.
46:25You are on zero.
46:26B.
46:32Gone off the end.
46:33Zero points for Dave.
46:35OK, get down here so I can spell out who won.
46:38Who won?
46:44OK, so how did the scores end up for the live task?
46:48Well, Dave unfortunately overthrew on that last one,
46:50so he ended up with zero points along with Emma.
46:52Then we had Lisa with six points, Wacker with nine,
46:54but Tommy won the task with ten points.
46:56That's two points for Emma and Dave, three for Lisa, four for Wacker and Tommy with five points, won the task.
47:07OK, so let's get the final scores for the episode, Cashman.
47:10Well, he won spelling and he's won the episode.
47:13It's 18 points for Tommy!
47:15All right!
47:16Congratulations, Tommy.
47:18Get up there and score yourself a sweet skeleton.
47:22OK, well, what have we learnt?
47:26Wacker taught us the first rule of the air fry is don't talk about the air fry.
47:32And we learnt Lesser Tom's rig is exactly what you'd think it would be.
47:37Hip hip hooray for Tommy!
47:39Thanks for watching and see you on the next one.
47:58Welcome back to Taskmaster.
47:59It's our halfway point of the season.
48:02Thomas!
48:04Ah, you're a great person.
48:09Oh my God!
48:11Just qualify that!
48:12Stay in your lane, you snitch.
48:13Are you silencing a woman?
48:14Yes.