Dave & Chuck the Freak talk about a guy who was confronted about some questionable motions he was making in his car and Lisa is skeptical of his protein shake defense.
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00:00Time for our pervert of the day.
00:09A woman in Lincoln, Nebraska told cops she saw a guy in a white Mazda
00:14pleasuring himself outside a gas station last Wednesday.
00:20But they weren't able to catch him.
00:23Then another woman called 911 about 6.45 in the morning this Monday
00:26and reported the same thing outside a convenience store.
00:30A guy jerking off in a white Mazda.
00:32Yeah.
00:33They found out the car belonged to a 21-year-old dude named Nathan Grimes
00:36who totally fit the description.
00:38They went to his house to ask him about it,
00:41and he claimed the whole thing was just a big misunderstanding.
00:46He said, oh yeah, I was in my car at the convenience store that morning.
00:50Yeah.
00:51But I wasn't jerking off.
00:53No.
00:54What did he say he was doing?
00:56He was simply mixing his protein shake.
00:59Oh.
01:00Right at his crotch level.
01:01Yeah.
01:01You gotta shake that.
01:02You gotta shake that.
01:04That's what.
01:05You're stirring it.
01:05You're not stirring it.
01:06Oh, he was shaking.
01:08Oh, shaking, not stirred.
01:09Shaking his protein shake.
01:10Oh, he's just gotta shake that protein.
01:12Oh, look, some protein got on the window.
01:15You know those shaker bottles you get at like GMC or whatever?
01:18Yeah.
01:19Shaking it up is what he said he was doing.
01:21You know what, though?
01:22I mean.
01:23If you get, I'm not going to defend this pervert, but if I'm in my car, Chuck,
01:27like, all right?
01:27Yeah, yeah.
01:27I can't see you.
01:28And I'm.
01:30Yeah.
01:30No, there's times you've had some stuff in here where I was pretty sure you were jerking
01:34it.
01:34It's a pretty graphic scene there, Dave.
01:36It is.
01:36Dave really likes to mix that up.
01:37Yeah.
01:38You gotta do, if you're doing that.
01:39Hey, stop making a face.
01:40I'm not going to do it, actually.
01:41That's our video today.
01:42No, no, no.
01:43I got wise really quick.
01:45How do you do it?
01:46How would you do it?
01:47Would you like?
01:47No, but you probably hold it up.
01:48Stop it.
01:50Oh, my God.
01:52Pepper grinder.
01:54Lisa mixes her protein a little differently.
01:55There's ways that you could do it.
01:56He's full of crap.
02:01Lisa, do you spit on your hand before you shake up your protein shake?
02:04Oh, my God.
02:05What?
02:06You guys don't do that?
02:12Lisa.
02:13I do.
02:14I guess you do.
02:17Protein shake.
02:18Yeah, you gotta mix it up.
02:18Yeah, it's gotta be moist.
02:20You gotta have a moist hand.
02:21Yeah.
02:22Everyone knows that.
02:25I'm just saying, like, if he was really doing, you know, had a shake, it would be totally different.
02:29He could.
02:30He wasn't.
02:31That's my point.
02:31Well, Lisa.
02:32Okay, look.
02:33My shake, right?
02:33Yeah, but just hold it up high.
02:35Hold it up higher.
02:35I'm not gonna shake it up here.
02:36Hold it with two hands.
02:37Well, you better.
02:38No, I'm shaking it here.
02:39Hold it up with the window level.
02:42So, if you're gonna shake something, you gotta be like, shaking it up like this.
02:44No, there you go.
02:45I'm not shaking it up.
02:46I'm not shaking it up.
02:46I'm not shaking it up.
02:47There you go.
02:48I'm not working in the cocktail.
02:50You're like Tom Cruise in cocktail.
02:51I'm just making my protein shake down here.
02:53Yeah, I'm just.
02:54This is all I'm doing.
02:56No, no.
02:57Not that.
02:57Yeah.
02:58Yeah.
02:59I'm running one of the chips.
02:59Don't do that.
03:00No.
03:01Up high.
03:02Up high.
03:02Oh, God.
03:03It won't shake.
03:04They were just shaking protein shakes, I swear.
03:09Yeah, I have a beard and hair like this, so I have to shake everything up high so nobody
03:13thinks I'm jerking off anywhere.
03:14Everything up high, right?
03:15Anything I shake, I gotta shake it up high.
03:17Oh, see, I don't think I'm a perv, so I don't.
03:20I shake low.
03:20Don't shake low.
03:22Don't shake low.
03:22Don't shake low, shake high.
03:24Don't shake low.
03:24Don't sleep.
03:24The cops will get called.
03:27If I shake low to jail, I go.
03:28Look how stupid this looks.
03:29Yeah, I know.
03:30I'm shaking my protein shake.
03:31That's what you do.
03:32No.
03:32Well, okay.
03:35You go to jail.
03:36Please.
03:37Please.
03:38You have to guess.
03:39What am I simulating right now?
03:42It's gonna be...
03:43But there's not...
03:43No.
03:44No.
03:44You have to guess.
03:45Just guess what's Chuck doing now.
03:46What am I simulating right now?
03:47Let's play what's Chuck doing.
03:49I can't even see anything.
03:50Right.
03:51So what am I doing?
03:52I don't know.
03:53Am I jerking it or am I mixing a protein shake?
03:55If it's you, you don't work out and you wouldn't drink a protein shake, so you're jerking it.
04:00You got it.
04:00She got it.
04:01Way to go, Lisa.
04:02She got it.
04:03Congratulations.
04:04She got it.
04:05She's good.
04:06She's good.
04:07The first ever winner on, is Chuck jerking it?
04:08Yeah.
04:09Or makes a protein shake.
04:10What?
04:11He's simulating.
04:14I win every time.
04:16I'm jerking it every time.
04:17Every time.
04:18Not doing anything else.
04:19Is Chuck making pudding?
04:21Or jerking it?
04:22Jerking it.
04:25Jerking it.
04:26Jerking it.
04:27You got it.
04:27He was jerking it again.
04:28He's always jerking it.
04:29You got it.
04:31I'm a low shaker.
04:32You're a low shaker.
04:33You are a low shaker.
04:33You really are.
04:34I shake my coffee every day like this.
04:36Would you shake it in the car?
04:37No, listen.
04:38If I needed to, I'd shake it anyway, Lisa.
04:39Have you ever done that?
04:41Because I'm sure you've had shakes like that before.
04:42Listen, I am telling you right now.
04:44Yeah, every morning.
04:45I used to have one.
04:47You would do that in the car.
04:48Listen, where do I sit?
04:49Yes, I would.
04:50No, you wouldn't.
04:50Lisa, I would fill up.
04:52I'd put the stuff in the car.
04:52You would shake that at home.
04:54No, I shake it wherever I am.
04:56I don't care where I am.
04:57I'll shake it wherever I'm at.
04:59And I'll tell you this right now, that I guarantee you that I've looked over at Dave, and because
05:04of where his computer is, I've seen him do that, and I laugh to myself.
05:08Looks like Dave's jerking off right now.
05:11Because he is a low shaker.
05:13He is a low shaker.
05:14He's a low shaker.
05:15He does not cocktail it.
05:17Lisa shakes it high.
05:18I'm just saying.
05:19He starts shaking it high.
05:20He knocks the whole riff down.
05:21Yeah, exactly.
05:22As a precautionary way to go about life, you should shake it high.
05:27Listen.
05:27Listen.
05:27Listen.
05:28Listen.
05:29Listen.
05:29Listen.