Chuck portrays a woman from Human Resources calling into the show after a couple comments this morning caught their attention.
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00:00We're going to get to some celebrity dirt on Dave and Chuck the Freak.
00:08Which actress quit Twitter?
00:10Titter.
00:12That's a new social media site.
00:15We've got to start Titter!
00:16No.
00:17Oh my God!
00:17It has to exist.
00:18Titter.com?
00:19It has to exist.
00:21Somebody owns it for a mere...
00:22Oh, it's got to be Titter!
00:23It's always on Dave's frame.
00:25T-I-T-T-Titter.com.
00:27What you call a Freudian Titter.
00:28Oh, wow.
00:29Oh, but it's like an anime game.
00:33Freudian slip.
00:33Oh, well.
00:34Yeah.
00:36Which actor quit tits?
00:39I'm tits with the news.
00:41Nah, all the tits with traffic.
00:44No, I didn't mean you, Lisa.
00:46Oh, yeah.
00:48Dave, you're crazy.
00:49I'm sorry, I'm just using an example.
00:51I don't know what's going on.
00:52Your brain is so crazy.
00:54I don't know.
00:54You say it's the craziest thing.
00:58Hello?
00:59Oh, this is HR calling me.
01:01Oh, my God.
01:03Yes.
01:04There was a problem on your show today where Dave called Lisa.
01:11I believe the term here we have written down.
01:15Tits.
01:17Oh, yeah.
01:17Time to check.
01:19Time to go to tits for the trash.
01:22We're trying to piece it together.
01:24Yeah.
01:25There was something about tits and traffic.
01:27Is that true?
01:28I don't know if I should get involved.
01:30Andy, Andy, it's up to you.
01:33You tell me if it happened or not, and then Dave's fired.
01:35Oh, I don't want to get involved with anything like that.
01:39If you don't tell me, then you're fired.
01:40He said tits.
01:41Yes.
01:42And she called her tits right to her face.
01:44Licked her right in the eyes and called her tits.
01:47Yes.
01:48And I also have something else here written down.
01:51Apparently, there's a Jewish person.
01:55That's Jason.
01:58Yes, he's very Jewish.
01:59He's a Jewish, and I have written here.
02:02Enough.
02:03The Jew?
02:04No kidding.
02:05Call him the Jew?
02:06Is that real?
02:07It's a nickname.
02:07Did that really happen?
02:09For comedic purposes, again, I think I shouldn't get involved in this.
02:13Listen, tell us if he called him the Jew or you're fired.
02:16Okay, yeah, he calls him the Jew.
02:17Hey!
02:18All right.
02:19Come on!
02:20That's all we needed.
02:21That's all we need.
02:23Stop!
02:23He's done.
02:24All right.
02:24All right.
02:25Have a good day.
02:28Bye.
02:29Dave's face was so red.
02:31He's like, not you, not you!
02:33One day, Odyssey was just like, well, I'm a news anchor.
02:35Let's check traffic and tits.
02:38I'm like, oh, God, he's in the traffic!
02:42As it was happening, I was like, he doesn't realize!
02:46Oh, that's funny.
02:47Say weather.
02:48Say weather.
02:50Yep.
02:50Now he has tits with the forecast.
02:52There you go.
02:53That's better.
02:53That's better.
02:54That's better.
02:55All right.
02:55So, yes, let's get to celebrity dirt.
02:57And a woman went to Las Vegas police making an allegation that a celebrity swaffled her.
03:06Which is, I guess, in the right circumstance, allowed.
03:14For sure it is.
03:14In the wrong circumstance.
03:16What a wild move.
03:18Yeah, that is crazy.
03:20Let me ask this, and I'm making light of any allegations at all, but are there women who like a good swaffling?
03:26Oh, yeah, for sure.
03:28Are there women who enjoy getting slapped across the face by them?
03:32The ones I see on the internet seem to enjoy it.
03:33Yeah, but are there women in real life that like it?
03:36Yes.
03:36100%.
03:371-855-954-6969.
03:39You love a swaffle.
03:411-855-954-6969.
03:43Do you like to be swaffled?
03:464-6-9-6-9-6969.
03:47You literally went to the phones.
03:49Oh, my God.
03:49She's still here?
03:51HR lady, is that you?
03:52Someone disconnect her.
03:54Andy, be honest.
03:55What?
03:56Did he go to the phones and ask for women to call in and ask if they wanted to be beaten upon the face with a man's genitals?
04:05I mean.
04:06If you don't tell us the truth, you're fired.
04:07Well, yeah, you totally did that.
04:09Thank you very much.
04:10We're writing it down.
04:11I just don't want to be fired.
04:12We're writing it down here.
04:14You're not fired yet.
04:15Oh.
04:16But everyone else is.
04:17Okay.
04:17Oh.
04:17All right.
04:18Bye.
04:18Bye.
04:18That's it.
04:19That's the end for you.
04:21So, do you like to be swaffled?
04:2213th chance.
04:244-6-9-6-9-6-9 is text, and you can call us 1-855-954-6969.
04:29Because I think most men would enjoy two swaffle.
04:35I mean, it's a fun way to mix it up.
04:37Right?
04:37Someone said, I'll tell you who hates getting swaffled.
04:40Lesbians.
04:40Well, unless it's a fake.
04:42Unless they want a fake one.
04:44Or maybe like a strap on.
04:46I'm going to assume they don't like it.
04:48Unless they're, for whatever reason, role playing that one of them has.
04:53Maybe they do something called like the clams.
04:56The clam slam.
04:57The clam, the clam slam, no.
05:07Hello?
05:09Hi, this is HR again.
05:10Oh, God damn it.
05:11I picked up again.
05:12Andy, stop answering the phone!
05:14It rings right in front of me.
05:15Come on!
05:16Be honest here.
05:17For one second here, we just got a report.
05:21All right.
05:21Was this a James who works on the show?
05:25James Campbell?
05:26James Campbell, yeah.
05:27Can I say that I don't know him?
05:30Well, you can if you want to get fired.
05:33Okay, yeah, it's James Campbell.
05:34Okay, James Campbell.
05:35Did he say something about lesbians having...
05:39Let me read this here.
05:43There would have been anything, Andy.
05:44A clam slam?
05:46I mean, if...
05:48You will be fired.
05:49Yeah, he said clam slam.
05:51He said it.
05:52Andy.
05:53James Octavius Campbell said clam slam.
05:56Oh, wow.
05:56We just looked this man up.
05:58What is he doing with a four-foot fake penis?
06:03Well, I mean, that was...
06:05Oh, my God.
06:05His website is atrocious.
06:07He was working on an event.
06:09His Twitter is the scariest thing I've ever seen.
06:11I was getting in shape.
06:12Yeah, he works out.
06:15He was exercising, so...
06:17Well, he'll be written up along with the rest of you as well.
06:22Oh, my God.
06:22You said I was cool!
06:23No, you're not.
06:24Sounds like the HR person could use a clam slam.
06:27Hang on, Andy.
06:27Hang on.
06:27Hang on.
06:27Oh, my goodness gracious.
06:29Hang on.
06:29There you go.
06:31Okay.