Dave & Chuck the Freak talk about a German couple who live next door to Andy and what it would be like to have him or James as a neighbor.
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00:00See the forecast for the week?
00:09I have, yeah.
00:09Looking great, huh?
00:10I see 77% chance of showers today, 73% chance of showers tomorrow, 68% chance of showers on Wednesday, 78% chance of showers on Thursday, 59% chance of rain, snow.
00:23Yeah, rain, snow, Friday.
00:24Friday.
00:25Oh.
00:25Yeah, this is Dave.
00:27Is there sun?
00:28This is Dave's gloom update.
00:30No, it's a whole week of gloom.
00:31No, it's a whole week of gloom.
00:34Luckily, I'll just be in my basement, so.
00:37It won't make a difference to you?
00:38My basement's always sunny.
00:41I absorb a lot of artificial light.
00:44It was a great weekend, though.
00:45Yeah, it was supposed to be gloomy this weekend.
00:48Yeah, it was.
00:48It was.
00:49It turned out great.
00:50It was nice.
00:51I was out there for about 10 minutes.
00:52I knew the weather was nice because the Germans that live below me were out.
00:55When the Germans are out?
00:57When the Germans are out, it's like, it means it's nice outside.
01:00It's time to party.
01:01They do.
01:02I hear them, like, skyping back home.
01:04It's like, Dave was nice and guys in class in person.
01:07I'm like, oh, the Germans are out.
01:09It must be nice outside.
01:11So when it's nice, the Germans Skype outside.
01:14They do.
01:15That's amazing.
01:15Yeah.
01:16That's amazing.
01:17They're always doing, like, little yard projects.
01:19The one guy, one of the Germans is real nice.
01:21The girl?
01:21Yeah.
01:21And the guy, he's as anti-social as it gets.
01:24Oh, really?
01:24I think he thinks I'm crazy because I'll have, like, two things of burritos, like, coming
01:28in.
01:29Yeah.
01:29Like, dropping red lines.
01:31Oh, yeah.
01:31Sure.
01:32He's just like, what is this guy?
01:35He's the one I hear stomping up there.
01:38Oh, he's up.
01:39So listen.
01:40Oh, he's going to cough for 10 minutes.
01:42What the ones he does up there.
01:44It's five in the morning.
01:45Yeah.
01:46Andy the neighbor, I guess, may not be the greatest.
01:49I didn't think about that.
01:51Yeah.
01:51You do get up real early.
01:52You probably cough it out when you get up.
01:54Oh, I do.
01:54Yeah.
01:54It's a rough, I have what you call a rough start.
01:58Firing up a lawnmower for the first time.
02:02Like that snowblower when you're trying to start it up first of the season.
02:06Yeah.
02:06Those Germans, I've been drunk out on my balcony before, like, projectile vomit off her.
02:13Oh, my God.
02:14I almost swore.
02:15I almost swore.
02:15No wonder they don't like you.
02:17No wonder the Germans hate you.
02:19Yeah.
02:20I'm not the best neighbor.
02:22Oh, no.
02:22What's his dust?
02:24It's raining his vomit.
02:29Oh, well.
02:30Oh, Andy.
02:31Buck wild.
02:32Andy and his German neighbor is coming soon to the Dave and Chuck Network.
02:36I'd watch that.
02:37I would, too.
02:38It's good.
02:39I terrify them.
02:40And they terrify me right back.
02:41Are they all dressed in black?
02:42No, no, no.
02:43They're just, uh, the dude is, like, always wearing skin-tight stuff, though.
02:48Of course, yeah.
02:48Not black, but.
02:50But skin-tight.
02:50Skin-tight.
02:51Is he younger?
02:52Yeah, he's younger.
02:53And then his, I don't know if it's his girlfriend or his sister.
02:56I can't.
02:57Hard to decide.
02:59It was hard to decide.
03:00It's a very loving punch.
03:01They're not too loving.
03:03Yeah, I know.
03:04That's what I'm saying.
03:04I can't get a read on it.
03:05I don't know what the hell's going on.
03:08Yeah.
03:09Maybe you should have the Germans over for dinner.
03:11Oh, they'd never go for that.
03:14I tell you.
03:15That'd be a hard sell to those guys.
03:16Tonight, Andy, host the Germans.
03:18We're pretty sure you do heroin up there.
03:20I don't know.
03:21That could be advisable.
03:23Yeah.
03:24Go up there with you.
03:26You still dinner in lines on the table?
03:28I think that's what they think.
03:32So are they like German hipsters?
03:35No, I think they have some kind of good job.
03:37They're there.
03:38Some company put them there in that apartment.
03:40A lot of corporate-type housing in my apartment complex.
03:44So they've stopped.
03:45How'd you do it?
03:46I'm an engineer.
03:47And the man upstairs, I'm pretty sure he's in some kind of band or something.
03:53That doesn't explain you getting up at like 5 a.m.
03:56They're probably so confused.
03:57They are.
03:58They have to be.
03:59They hear me feed my cats, cough for an hour.
04:01They maybe think you're just getting home then.
04:03Maybe.
04:04Who knows?
04:05But yeah, they get up to it down there.
04:07I heard them.
04:07I see them outside.
04:08I'm like, oh, the Germans are out.
04:14I'd just love to talk to them just to say, who's the guy living upstairs?
04:17Just to see their take on it.
04:19Yeah.
04:20Convinced he dabbles in the dark arts.
04:24Here he goes.
04:27He's coughing.
04:27Yes.
04:28He's coughing for an outstripe.
04:30Yeah.
04:30I don't.
04:30I think.
04:31Clear your throat.
04:32Who would be a worse neighbor?
04:34I mean, depending on your take on it.
04:35It would be Andy or James.
04:36Oh, man.
04:37Huh?
04:38Holy crap.
04:39What about it?
04:40That is a tough, a tough comparison.
04:42Because Andy is puking off your balcony.
04:44He's puking off your balcony.
04:45James is not doing that.
04:46No.
04:47No.
04:47But he is like snow blowing in a thong.
04:49Yes.
04:50He's maybe setting off dick shaped fireworks.
04:52Yeah.
04:52There's no question.
04:53I think the Germans would be okay with all that.
04:55You think they'd be okay?
04:56I think that's like stuff they are used to.
04:58I think they do.
04:59You might be right.
05:00Oh, it's just like home.
05:02A man in a man thong with black straps on.
05:05It reminds me of my times in Germany when everybody would make a giant wooden dick out of plywood and just ride it with sparks.
05:14You may get along well with the Germans, James.
05:15It sounds like the ideal neighbors for me.
05:17Yeah, it absolutely does.
05:18I mean, to be honest, when I lived in like in the apartment kind of setup or the condo setup, I mean, I was peeing outside on my balcony.
05:23Okay.
05:24All right.
05:24It turns out it's still a pretty close race.
05:29I had a couple notes left on my door to, you know, be quiet.
05:32Oh, yeah.
05:33I think I'd rather take piss over my balcony than puke, though.
05:36Yeah.
05:36I get that.
05:37Puke's chunky.
05:38It's only happened a couple of times.
05:40A couple of times!
05:41More than once!
05:43Snuck up on me.
05:45Yeah.
05:46You're on that balcony and the world's spinning.
05:48You gotta get it out of you.
05:49Yeah.
05:51There's no doubt.
05:52You do.
05:54Well.
05:55It'd be interesting, though.
05:56It'd be funny if the Germans were my neighbors and they just moved to the country and they see me outside snowblowing in that outfit and they think that's just how you're supposed to do it in America.
06:03Exactly.
06:04And then they start doing it and I start a whole trend.
06:06That is really the goal.
06:09Just semi-nude everything.
06:12I love you both.
06:13You're like brothers to me, but I wouldn't want either of you as neighbors.
06:15No, you wouldn't.
06:16I get that.
06:17You'd love me as a neighbor, Dave.
06:18Yeah.
06:18I would love for Andy to be on one side of Dave and James to be on the other side of Dave.
06:25I would love that.
06:26Oh, amazing.
06:27You want to see property value just plummet.
06:30I got the puker and the thong on either side of me.
06:34Amber, we're never selling.
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