Therapy Thursday: Do I Tell My Boyfriend I Hooked Up While We Were On A Break?
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00:00Therapy Thursday, now on Wild 94.1.
00:02I understand therapy.
00:04Hi, everybody!
00:05Hi, Dr. Nick!
00:06Alright, it is Therapy Thursday.
00:08It's where we try to do our community service
00:11and give you 60-second sessions.
00:14Dr. Davi is in the office this morning.
00:16He is here.
00:17Or as we call him, Putin.
00:21Putin.
00:22Putin.
00:22We have Meredith, M.D. in the office this morning.
00:26And also, you can't murmur, murmur, murmur
00:28when you're supposed to be like a...
00:29A medical, like, professional.
00:31You don't want the lab coat walking in talking about murmur, murmur, murmur.
00:35I'd like to see somebody else.
00:36Yes, yes, yes.
00:37And I'm Orlando BGYN.
00:39Oh, okay.
00:40Stirrups and all.
00:41Alright, so, clipboards and lab coats.
00:43We got it for you.
00:44888-429-0941.
00:46If you have a question or you have any kind of issue,
00:50you can present it to us, each one of us,
00:52or all of us, either way.
00:55Let's see here.
00:55We have...
00:56We have Homeboy.
00:57He's been on the phone for a minute.
00:58Oh, he should go for him.
00:59So, he's got a question for you.
01:00Yeah, and it's a fake name.
01:01His name's not really Ryan.
01:02Okay.
01:03Oh, okay.
01:04Ryan.
01:04Well, alright.
01:05Here we go.
01:06Ryan.
01:08Hey, how you doing this morning?
01:10I'm good.
01:10How you doing?
01:11Pretty good.
01:11What's your question?
01:12Um, I had a party for a friend.
01:21Wait a minute.
01:21Wait, wait.
01:22Switch lanes.
01:23Another friend.
01:23I don't like that.
01:23Wait, wait, wait.
01:24Wait, wait.
01:24We heard you had a party for a friend and then your phone cut out.
01:28That's a good one.
01:28Yeah, it must have been a good party right there.
01:30I had a party for a friend and I was planning it with two other friends, but two other friends
01:35decided that one of the friends I was planning for wouldn't have liked me.
01:38So, I continued to do the party anyway, but I didn't re-extend the invitation.
01:42Was I wrong for not re-inviting the other two friends?
01:45Hmm.
01:47Hmm.
01:47All right, so you were having a party with, and you just, and then wait, what happened
01:53with the friend though?
01:54Because it broke up a little bit.
01:56They decided that the other friend doesn't like surprise parties, but I, a third friend
02:00decided that she would, that the person would like the party.
02:03So, I continued with the party anyway, but I didn't give the other two friends that I
02:07originally started with the details that was still going on.
02:10Oh, because they had cold kids.
02:11Oh, so you did the surprise, but just without the people who thought the surprise was a bad
02:14idea.
02:16Yeah.
02:16Oh, okay.
02:17Oh, I don't, I don't think that's, I mean, now it depends on how close of a friends they
02:21are, but I will tell you this, like, if you, oh, very, very, very close with that.
02:26Well, you know, Orlando.
02:28You might have to wear that one.
02:29Now, I mean, now here's the deal though.
02:32Transparency, just like in a real relationship, a love relationship is good for friendships
02:36too.
02:37And if you sit down with them and be like, listen, I made a quick decision because y'all
02:41wasn't down with it.
02:42And I was like, I'm not going to drag y'all through it.
02:44If you don't want to do it, then that's fine.
02:46I'm going to go forward with it.
02:47Cause this is what I believed in.
02:49And I took it as you didn't, you know, want to be involved in it because you thought
02:54it was a bad idea.
02:55If that was a mistake, I totally me a couple.
02:58That was my bad.
02:59You know what I mean?
02:59So I didn't mean it by anything.
03:02I just thought that y'all was basically voting that you didn't want to rock with it.
03:05Cause you thought it was a bad idea.
03:07My bad.
03:07Let me make it up to y'all.
03:08I'm going to take y'all to get some wings for the game.
03:10You know, if these are your good friends, you could do it that way.
03:14If they didn't matter, I'd be like, yeah, bump them, forget them.
03:16They didn't want to rock with you for whatever.
03:18But if these are your, your, your main ones, it just be like, yo, I misinterpreted what y'all
03:22was saying.
03:23And, and, you know, and you should be able to be good after that.
03:27You know what I'm saying?
03:28No problem.
03:28No problem at all, man.
03:29You know, we can get invited to a party.
03:31Friends got to be able to get around it.
03:33It's different with the guys and girls though.
03:34Girls not being invited to the party.
03:36Well, I know cause you got mad, you got mad when we didn't invite you like to the basketball
03:40game.
03:41Oh yeah.
03:41But you didn't know.
03:42Yeah.
03:42Thanks for the invite.
03:44Cause Buck is in here filming us and me, Buck and actually yesterday, me, Buck and Davi
03:50were supposed to be at the Raptors game.
03:53Yeah.
03:53That's great.
03:53So like a little freak show party.
03:55Don't invite the female in the room.
03:56That's Orlando if you were invited.
03:58He asked, he asked me, he's like, is she invited?
04:01And I'm like, nah.
04:01Oh, great.
04:03I wasn't wasting no ticket on you.
04:05You don't want to go.
04:05You didn't even ask me.
04:07You ain't even in the basketball.
04:08I've never been to an NBA game.
04:09That would be awesome to go to.
04:11Nah, yeah.
04:11We didn't want to be there answering all these questions for you.
04:14I got a question for Davi.
04:15How about that?
04:16Yeah, you ask Davi a question.
04:18I just worked a time over.
04:20Got a question out of the 727.
04:22Davi, I'm 28 and I want some advice on stocks and bonds.
04:27How do I get into it and what's some pointers y'all can give me about them?
04:31Oh man, the best pointer that I could give you right now is that you don't get your
04:35investing advice from a radio station.
04:38You're on to something.
04:40There's tons of resources from YouTube to books to a million articles and blogs that
04:47come out every single day.
04:4828, I think, is a fantastic time in your life to start doing it.
04:53Think of a budget and think of basically companies that you believe in and you think you can see
05:00a potential for growth in.
05:01But ultimately, bro, you honestly have to do your due diligence because you can win a lot
05:06of money.
05:07You can make bread, but you can also lose it.
05:09It can go right through your fingers so quick, so easily.
05:12So before you jump in, I would say take your time, really try to wrap your head around it,
05:18understand it, and don't invest money that you're not willing to lose.
05:23Don't put your rent money in there.
05:25It has to be something that if you have to part with, if it falls out, that you'll still
05:31be okay in the long run.
05:32What he said was facts because he made a mistake and corrected it, but it was actually accurate.
05:37He said, if you want to win money and think of it that way, because winning and gambling
05:42is kind of the same thing as the stock market.
05:45It's like you're gambling and, and, and, and, and jumping into it is wrong.
05:49But if you find you a penny stock or something that you want to watch and you want to invest
05:54in to just get used to the, to watching your stock grow or watching your stock move, do
05:59that.
06:00That's inexpensive and then get you in practice as you're learning for the bigger.
06:03That's good advice.
06:04And find you something you believe in.
06:06And Davi drives a Tesla.
06:07He, and he went for Tesla.
06:09I am heavy.
06:11And I thought, and done some heavy stuff.
06:15What's that money you have at your house?
06:17Oh, oh, the dinar.
06:20Yeah.
06:21Don't do that.
06:22Don't invest in anything.
06:23Don't invest in anything from Iraq.
06:25Thinking that you're going to come up because you got some military friends because they
06:29got you.
06:30All right.
06:31888-429-0941.
06:33We got questions coming in here.
06:34What do we got?
06:34We have one for Meredith out the 863.
06:36It says, so me and my boyfriend of seven years are going to separate and we are finally
06:42going to live.
06:44Oh, we're going to separate finally, but we're going to live in the same household, only in
06:48separate rooms.
06:49Oh yeah.
06:49I'm getting to know someone right now.
06:51And the problem is I am afraid that when I start seeing someone else, my ex can call
06:56him and is going to interfere.
06:58What should I do?
06:59I need some kind of solution.
07:00Okay.
07:01So you have to live together for a little bit.
07:03I'm assuming until the lease is up or over with or you sell the house.
07:06Do not bring that person into the house.
07:08If you want to start drama, it's obvious that he's going to eventually move on and start
07:13seeing people.
07:14You are obviously already moving it and you want to see somebody too.
07:19You have to be respectful because you're still living with that person.
07:21And I know if I was your ex, I don't want to see some new dude walking in and then y'all
07:26like being cute and cooking and making out or whatever doing in your own private bedroom.
07:31Even though you guys are roommates, you got to be respectful of that.
07:34I don't hide the fact that you're seeing somebody, but also I wouldn't just like be bragging about
07:39it left and right and see if you can end the lease sooner so you can get out of there.
07:43Start your own life.
07:44I mean, you hit a nail on the head.
07:47But honestly, make sure that the person who you're dating knows your situation though
07:53because then they ain't expecting to go to your spot and they ain't expecting to be all
07:57up in there.
07:57Don't lie.
07:57Like, you know what I'm saying?
07:58Don't, yeah, don't start the new relationship with a lie about the old one.
08:01You're going to be lonely.
08:02Everybody that I've ever met that is still living with their ex is honestly one foot in,
08:08one foot out.
08:09There's still a little bit of circle back going on.
08:11There's a lot of people out there who live that life where they're like dipping and
08:14dabbing.
08:15You can't, you can't fully cut the ties if they're your roommate.
08:18It's like that Jennifer Aniston movie where she walked by Vince Vaughn naked in the hallway
08:21and he like, we mad at each other.
08:23But damn.
08:25Damn, you know what I'm saying?
08:26All right, 888-429-0941.
08:28More coming up.
08:29Hold on.
08:30Therapy Thursday popping right now.
08:32888-429-0941.
08:34You got a question.
08:36We got answers for you.
08:38Let's see here.
08:38This says, Davi or O, I will be 40 in a few weeks and have not been on the dating scene
08:46since COVID.
08:47How does an attractive Latina find love during a pandemic?
08:54Get them.
08:54All right.
08:55First of all, I would say you can't really have the pretense that you're looking for
09:00love because that kind of gives off an air of desperation and desperation is not a good
09:07look, especially for somebody attractive.
09:09I would put yourself out there.
09:10Meredith is frowning at you right now just to let you know.
09:12Put yourself out.
09:14I'm sure she is.
09:15Okay.
09:16Put yourself out in the social scene.
09:18You know, it doesn't have to necessarily be the dating scene, but go to happy hours.
09:22Go out with your girls.
09:24In a pandemic, though.
09:25There's still things going on.
09:26Right.
09:27I would say you have to mingle a little bit.
09:30Mingle with people.
09:31Get outside of your comfort zone.
09:32Dating online.
09:33Dating seems to help a lot of people.
09:36So I think it's just a mixture of both, of everything, but don't seem desperate.
09:40Okay.
09:40I would say I would push the dating apps a little bit more because we are still in a
09:45pandemic and in your profile, I say that it's okay.
09:50It doesn't sound desperate.
09:51It actually weeds out a lot of the weirdos out there, people that just want to hook up
09:54for one night, that you are looking for a serious commitment or a serious relationship.
09:58That's what you're interested in.
10:00I don't find that a bad thing at all.
10:02As a matter of fact, a lot of women would actually appreciate a guy to be open and honest
10:06about that.
10:07But she's talking about trying to find love and you'll scare away guys if you start
10:10talking about serious stuff.
10:11Good.
10:11Then you don't want to mess with those people anyway.
10:13I think that that's a good thing.
10:14You're going to mess out on great options because you was talking about-
10:17I don't want to mess with some boy that is scared because eventually I want to be in
10:22a serious, committed relationship.
10:23You're not giving out the air of eventually.
10:26You're giving out, hey, I'm turning 40.
10:29I'm looking for love.
10:30I need to get dating scenes.
10:31We on a clock.
10:32Yeah, you can't be on the clock.
10:34Why are you guys so crazy when it comes to that?
10:35Because this is the way men think.
10:37This is what scares guys off.
10:39It really does.
10:39Well, maybe I don't want a guy that scares easy.
10:42I mean, a 40-year-old wants somebody that can buck up.
10:46No.
10:46Okay.
10:47Well, no bucking.
10:49Buck that.
10:49I got one for you, O.
10:51This one came out of a 404 area code.
10:53It says, I need some advice if I should chill or not.
10:56I'm a dad with custody of my son.
10:58I'm supposed to be getting a monthly child support payment of $350 through child services,
11:05but I'm only getting $200.
11:07The other $150 isn't even listed as owed.
11:10I don't really need the money because I have a great job, but should I be salty?
11:15Because if it was reverse, I'd be expected to pay the full amount or be chastised if I did.
11:20And the mom owes him the $350.
11:22Yep.
11:23And she's only sending two.
11:24Every month, $150 short.
11:26All right.
11:28Yes.
11:28Okay.
11:29All right.
11:29Listen, you don't need it.
11:31So it is petty.
11:32But there's a precedent being set there.
11:35And this is legal.
11:36Like, the law said you get $350.
11:40If you're not following the law, then, I mean, that's like a contract.
11:44When they say you open up a contract to renegotiate one part of it, the whole thing could be renegotiated.
11:50If you're not doing what the legal, like, letter of the law says, then the whole thing, you just thumb in your nose at the legal process.
11:57And judges don't like that.
11:58And the child board don't like that.
12:01So you, I think it's up to you to go in there and walk in and say, listen, I'm not getting it.
12:06I'm not arguing about it, but, like, we need to either rectify this to take it down so she's not messing herself up by breaking a court order.
12:13Or, I mean, like, adjust it or whatever.
12:15I don't need it, but, A, it needs to be addressed.
12:18Because if it was reversed, it would be addressed and you would be chased down.
12:22And I've seen people have to live in other states because they were being looked for because of child support, you know, not being correct.
12:28So that's just one of them flawed things, man.
12:31I like the fact that you got, you know, are taking care of business and whatever.
12:34But the fact that they just get to choose.
12:36Yeah.
12:37That's what really, like, burns up, guys.
12:39Like, really?
12:39Because you don't just get the choice.
12:41Like, if they made a choice, they see you half.
12:43Every lady out there getting child support, if a dude just sent you half, that would be a problem.
12:47And you just have to suck it up.
12:49Monthly.
12:49Not just calling you saying, hey, this month's going to be late.
12:52But every month, bruh.
12:53Not just for a little bit, because while you're trying to find a job, it's always.
12:56I would definitely say something.
12:58I wouldn't make it an egregious thing, but I would be like, listen, just to make sure everything's buttoned up.
13:02Because I don't need it, so I don't need her going to jail or any kind of fines.
13:07Because if she can't pay the $350, damn, she can't pay a fine.
13:10Right.
13:10So, but can we modify this or something so everybody ain't going to get caught up?
13:14And also, you never know what the future holds.
13:16You might not need it today, but, you know, something could happen a few months from now
13:20where that extra $150 a month could really come in handy.
13:24For real.
13:24And then you want to go retroactively and be like, I haven't been getting it in a long time.
13:28But I didn't need it back then.
13:30Yeah, but I need it now.
13:31I got one for Dobby.
13:33What you got?
13:34The middle.
13:34I absolutely dislike my husband's half-sister.
13:38He and I are 16 years apart.
13:40She's younger than me.
13:41When we first started dating, she was cold and caused some issues.
13:44She apparently still talks to his ex.
13:47We're expecting, and somehow I accidentally added her to social media, which I never wanted to do.
13:53So, is it wrong for me to unfriend slash block her?
13:56I don't need the negativity or the drama in my life.
13:59No, I don't think it's wrong for you.
14:02I would use the mute option.
14:04I think that way they don't know that you, like if you block somebody.
14:09Does that really work?
14:10Absolutely.
14:10Yes, it definitely works.
14:12I have so many people muted on Instagram.
14:13Really?
14:14Oh, I really do.
14:15I didn't know it worked.
14:16I thought they were able to see if you could do it.
14:18No, you can see if you block them.
14:20You can see if you unfriend them.
14:21But if you just mute them, that'll take away the drama, any kind of.
14:26You're still following each other.
14:27I'm going to try that because there's some people I got to mute.
14:29Yeah.
14:30I think Davi muted me.
14:31I haven't muted you yet.
14:34I haven't muted you when you was pregnant.
14:35You know what I'm saying?
14:37You added me again.
14:38All right.
14:38We got one more here.
14:39Let's see.
14:40Meredith, are you ready?
14:41Sure.
14:42It just says, Dr. Meredith, long story short, I broke up with my man.
14:46We got into a bad place.
14:47After four years, we ended it.
14:49I slept with someone, kind of a screw you, and it was insane.
14:54Much different than I was used to.
14:56But then the ex called.
14:59We talked it out, and we ended up getting back together a week after we broke up.
15:04What am I supposed to do now with the guilt that I have and the memories of what happened?
15:10Do I say something or do I take this to the grave because it's killing me?
15:15It's hard for me personally to live with guilt.
15:19I just want to have things out there, open, and honest.
15:23That's how I like to live my life.
15:24I don't like to lie about things.
15:26On the other hand, you could take a page and rip it out of Davi's book and be like,
15:32do not say anything unless you are specifically asked because you don't want to lie.
15:37If you was going to stay on that side, I was going to say, okay, Dr. Davi, what you got for?
15:41I wouldn't bring it up.
15:43I really wouldn't.
15:43But she feels terribly guilty.
15:45One thing about guilt.
15:48Explain to us, Davi.
15:50Time heals all wounds, including guilty ones.
15:53So your guilt will start to subside.
15:56Yes, it will.
15:57You'll feel better.
15:58We got off a Bazooka Joe piece of gum.
16:02As bad as you feel right now, I think it will get better.
16:07Also, he might have done something on his break, too.
16:11It would hurt you if you held out.
16:12I think they're looking at the math, too.
16:13She's like, I broke up a week.
16:15Yeah, that was pretty quick.
16:16If he's like, yo, a week?
16:18We were broken up a week?
16:19We were together four years.
16:20Again, if he specifically asks you, did you do anything while we weren't together?
16:27Which he will.
16:28Which he might.
16:29I wouldn't lie about it.
16:30I would be honest.
16:32But I damn sure wouldn't volunteer that information.
16:36She said it was good, too.
16:37Yeah, you got to forget about that part, too.
16:39Do not add that in there.
16:42Don't add that to it.
16:43Whatever honesty you come up with, don't be that honest.
16:47Orlando and the Freak Show.
16:48Therapy Thursday is a wrap.
16:50We do it every Thursday morning at 825.
16:52Get in, all right?
16:52We do it every Thursday morning.