Therapy Thursday: My Man Sleeps At His Moms House Once A Month And It Doesn't Feel Right
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00:00Which therapist you need? Therapy Thursday. Now on Wild 94.1. I understand therapy. Hi everybody. Hi Dr. Nick. Alright it's Therapy Thursday where we work off our community service by talking it out and we should call it the 100 show because we have broken up some relationships from being a little too honest. Yes. But it happens. Alright we keep it real. We give you 60 second sessions and we answer any question with Dr. Davi with Meredith MD and with Orlando BGYN.
00:30All your queries. All your queries. Alright let's see here. We got text. We got calls. We got a call. Amina is on the phone. Alright let's see here. Amina? Yes. How you doing this morning? I'm great thank you. Let's see here. You got Dr. Davi, Meredith MD or Orlando BGYN. Which one you want? I would like Orlando. Okay. Alright well here you go. You got me. What's up? Okay. So you know I have a living boyfriend.
01:00And you know it's COVID so we've been having I don't want to say relationship opportunities but he's been a little weird and I have just thought that it was due to COVID. I work a lot. I'm an essential worker so I work a lot.
01:19And I work long hours so I'm not always available. And yeah so you know I'm not always available and I've been pretty busy but I don't really didn't really think that something was up.
01:43But you know one day I went I actually I was working I'm sorry the whole thing is just got me just really out of school.
01:54Well I mean but just okay but just break it down for me like what is there is there a specific that I can tell you about because I mean I can tell like you're bothered but I don't hear any specifics.
02:03What what jumps out?
02:05So I got off early and I noticed the car in the driveway and I came in and I heard moaning and I caught my living boyfriend having sex in our bed with another woman.
02:19Okay but now wait now okay now but and he's still your boyfriend right now?
02:24No he's just texting me he loves me and he's sorry and he knows he was wrong.
02:30Okay he was.
02:31But I wasn't giving him enough attention.
02:34Okay all right well here we go here we I ain't heard enough.
02:37How about this all right listen first of all you can't you you you got to give your man attention.
02:43That's right that's true honestly you you got to give him attention or they'll stray.
02:47But if they stray they have stray like there's no texting there's no texting calling back no hey baby I miss you no hey you know what you know what you did and so I did what I know no no no they broke a trust.
03:02I don't know if you are okay with it but I don't it don't sound like you're okay with it.
03:07So I would say if you find him once there's probably nine times you didn't.
03:13That ain't the first time you ain't that good to catch him on the first run.
03:16Okay so he been everybody feet to Jesus in your house and you caught the one time it happened but the other ladies that have danced on your ceiling have just come and gone.
03:25Well you walked in on him.
03:26Yeah.
03:27So you've caught this one bird in the hand you got the information don't go backwards move forward the best thing to be is in a cheating relationship that you know about the worst thing to be is in a cheating relationship you don't so you are pretty in a good space so just keep moving.
03:44Okay I mean that's exactly why I wanted to talk to Orlando because I knew you would get me together.
03:53We're going to keep it up you got you can't you ain't got time for that we ain't got anybody got time for that just go ahead and tell them that okay now again keep it moving.
04:01Text the girl that was dancing on the ceiling and that's text her don't text you no one okay.
04:07I can't imagine.
04:07Okay.
04:08All right sweetie all right that's what I'm talking about.
04:10All right we got one out the 727 for Meredith MD.
04:13Meredith gone.
04:14It says my boyfriend crashes at his mother's house a lot like once a month and I really ain't used to my partner sleeping away so much.
04:22His mom's in Winter Haven so he figures it's better than driving back to Largo but it doesn't feel right right.
04:29I don't have a problem with that I mean as long as he's really at his mom's house that's not a problem.
04:34How you gonna figure that out?
04:35I mean you gotta have trust in the relationship as long as he's really there.
04:38I mean there are ways to figure it out I mean you could easily call mom every now and then
04:43and maybe have a better relationship with her and text her every now and then like hey I hear so and so is gonna come over tonight.
04:50You know I wanted to make you something here's a pass something like that.
04:53You could also do a drive-by but I'm not necessarily suggesting that if that's what you think is happening.
04:59I don't think it's it's a problem spending the night at your parents house.
05:02Can I add something real quick?
05:03I gotta go through this with my relationship because my girl loves going to her mother's house
05:08and honestly at first at the beginning of our relationship it kind of did bother me
05:12but in your situation I don't think once a month is a lot.
05:16It's not.
05:16Twelve times a year that's really not that big a deal.
05:19If it was once or twice a week then it's time to have a sit down conversation
05:22and at least let him know how you feel and how uncomfortable it makes you
05:26and kind of try to find a happy medium.
05:28But if his mom is so important to him you can't take that away from him.
05:32Do what you think.
05:34All right.
05:34I ain't gonna say that.
05:35I'm gonna let y'all doctors do y'all thing.
05:37But I know there's a lot of people out there that don't like somebody who's their partner not be at home.
05:42Yeah.
05:42Like once a month.
05:43But if it's with the parents house I mean that's kind of different.
05:45Plus you don't want to step on somebody's like relationship like that.
05:49But maybe you're invited over there too.
05:51You know maybe you can hang.
05:55You don't have to stay the night but maybe you can go over there.
05:57Yeah absolutely.
05:57Oh okay.
05:59I'm just checking.
06:00Orlana thinks it's like something else.
06:01I don't think it's something else.
06:02I'm just saying be open to it.
06:04Okay.
06:04888-429-0941.
06:06We got all of your queer riffs.
06:08All right.
06:08Are we changing our vote on that one?
06:10I'm changing my vote.
06:11Which one?
06:12I talked to y'all afterwards and I'm just like yo dude.
06:15During the song we were like wait a minute.
06:16What are y'all talking about?
06:17I sat back and I was like the chick with the guy that's spending the night at his mama's house.
06:21And I thought about it.
06:22I'm like what grown man spends the night at mama's house.
06:26Most guys would just go during the day.
06:28Take mama to lunch or go over there for a little bit.
06:30Talk that talk Merida.
06:31Talk that talk.
06:31But not spend the night.
06:32Unless it's a holiday.
06:34What if mama's by herself or something like that?
06:36Your man is going to see his mama in Winter Haven.
06:39Everybody likes their own bed.
06:39Your man is also smashing somebody he's going to hate.
06:43Especially if that's home.
06:44He's going home to see mama and going to visit somebody at home.
06:48College, high school girlfriend.
06:50Ex.
06:50Neighbor.
06:51Your pie might make it to mama's house if you talk about sending the pie.
06:55Why would you spend the night at mama's house when you have a-
06:57It ain't going to be the pie on his mouth.
06:58Yeah, your girlfriend at your house.
07:00I spend the night at my mom's house once a year on Christmas Eve.
07:04There you go.
07:04It is required.
07:06That's a necessity right there.
07:08There you go.
07:09That's it.
07:10You wouldn't ever do it any more than that?
07:12Christmas Eve.
07:12Once a month?
07:14Somebody getting a date once a month at Winter Haven.
07:16That's all I'm saying.
07:17All right.
07:18We got a no-name and it's for Dr. Davi.
07:20Let's see here, Dr. Davi.
07:23You have a patient on the phone.
07:24Hello.
07:25Welcome.
07:26Hello.
07:27What's up, man?
07:27How you doing?
07:29What's up?
07:29What's going on, man?
07:30Listen, I got a lot going on.
07:33You know, I got two females that I deal with that I'm really in love with, you know, but
07:40I want to be single, too.
07:41I got a problem with commitment.
07:45You got a problem with what?
07:48Commitment.
07:49Right.
07:49Yes, you do.
07:50I don't feel like I need to be tied down, you know, but I love both of them, though,
07:55you know, like, I like them a lot, but at the same time, I just feel like it's a lot,
08:02man, how I deal with it.
08:04It sounds like a lot.
08:05I'm tired for you, bro.
08:06I think ultimate...
08:07Are you done, by the way?
08:09Yeah.
08:09Is that the question?
08:11You're trying to figure out which one?
08:12Not trying to...
08:14I want both of them, though.
08:15You feel me, like...
08:17But, yeah, I'm trying to figure out which one, because one older and one younger, but
08:22it's like, the older one, she dealt with me, and the younger one, I've been dealing with
08:28for a long time, so I'm kind of stuck in between the two.
08:32Do they know about each other?
08:35The older one know about one, like, the other one.
08:37Okay, so she's on the team, and I, personally, I think you need to be single, to be 100%
08:43honest with you.
08:44I think you need to be single, or at least don't lead those girls on with the expectation
08:49of a committed relationship, because you don't sound like you're in a place to be committed.
08:54Well, he said that.
08:55Now, with that being said, the older one sounds like she might be okay with that.
09:01Yeah.
09:01Like, she might be okay with the little part-time thing, but you also have to be okay with her
09:07having somebody else, too.
09:09You know, you got to be able to taste your own medicine.
09:11I think you need to be single.
09:13I'll be getting in my feelings sometimes about that, too.
09:15That's another situation.
09:16That's part of being a player, man.
09:18You see that?
09:19And you just said you need to be single.
09:20Single people can't have no feelings.
09:22Yeah, you're right.
09:23You're right.
09:24Yeah.
09:24You're right.
09:25You're right.
09:25You're right, Orlando.
09:26As long, I think, as you don't give them the expectation of exclusivity and put it all
09:34out there and then give them the information and see what they want to do with it.
09:37The older one might ride with you.
09:40The younger one might dip and circle back.
09:42You never know.
09:43But I still think honesty is the best way to do it.
09:46And if you want to be single, be single.
09:49But just don't lead them on where they think that they're the only ones.
09:52You're breaking hearts.
09:53That's when you really start to throw a little shade in the game.
09:55And don't cut the whole team just because you got one unruly player that's on a contract
10:00negotiation.
10:01You deal that player off because you got a team member with the older one.
10:04She's riding with you.
10:06All right.
10:07All right?
10:07Are you teaching him to be a player?
10:09We are teaching him how to be a player.
10:10I'm just teaching him how to analyze his situation.
10:13You have to.
10:14I mean, don't throw it away because you got one player that ain't happy.
10:18You got one player that's wearing a jersey and man is proud.
10:21And the responsible human being here.
10:23At some point.
10:23She might be open to it.
10:25Exactly.
10:25She might be open to having multiple people in the relationship.
10:29All right.
10:29Let's see here.
10:30We got room for one more.
10:31What do we got?
10:32Orlando.
10:32I'm out the 727.
10:34I'm trying to be better.
10:34I just turned 22.
10:36So I cut down the chase to two main ones.
10:39I'm still trying to be right right.
10:41So I want to cut one.
10:42I've been with one the longest.
10:44She's super focused on her work.
10:46She makes good bread and is really cute.
10:48The other one is insanely fine.
10:50She bartenders.
10:52She bartends.
10:52And it's a movie anytime we link up.
10:55Like OMG.
10:56A movie.
10:57Which lane should I go in?
10:59Oh, well.
11:00Have fun with that.
11:00Let me tell you that, Scrappy.
11:02How old are they?
11:0322.
11:0422?
11:04Just turned 22.
11:05All right.
11:06Can I be honest?
11:07Yeah.
11:07Be honest, man.
11:08At 22 years old, you don't need any of those things that you refer to the focus, the job,
11:18the girl that's on her grind.
11:20She look cute.
11:21All that.
11:21That's beautiful when you're 27, 28.
11:24Okay.
11:25When you're 22 and you got that bartender that's got that Kung Fu grip.
11:30She know how to do Tybo.
11:33You need that in your life.
11:35Every dude out there has had to tear down some sort of one-on-one against Jordan's situation
11:41when they 22.
11:4222 is an amazing time for you to climb trees, young man.
11:46Climb trees.
11:47I love it.
11:48Okay.
11:48Swing off the swing.
11:50Get on the monkey balls, man.
11:52Yeah.
11:52Do things on the playground that you ain't never done before.
11:55You got time to meet the next Amway Mary Kay sales lady.
12:00Okay?
12:00Her and her business suits.
12:01We don't need that right now.
12:03You can't be that bartender.
12:04Them bartenders come home at strange hours.
12:06Oh, man.
12:07And they got motivation in their heart.
12:09They'll pull you some free drinks.
12:10Hey!
12:11Come on, man.
12:12Davi, am I right?
12:13I couldn't agree with you more, bro.
12:15That's fun.
12:16Build that highlight reel.
12:17Those are the times that you're going to be looking back when you're 32 or 27, like you
12:21said.
12:21You got time for that, man.
12:22You got time for that, man.
12:23Right now, you need to work on your hip movements.
12:28Work it out.
12:29Work it out.
12:29There we go.
12:30All right, man.
12:30This is a wrap.
12:31We got done.
12:32Therapy Thursday.