Therapy Thursday: Is Granny Allowed To Spank Your Child?
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00:00now on wild 94.1 i understand therapy hi everybody hi dr nick i it is therapy thursday this is where
00:08we uh earn our community service for a few things that we you know we ain't got to get really good
00:13and all that all right but anyway uh we have a community service we do it is uh for you 60
00:18second sessions you get dr dobby you get meredith md you get orlando bgyn either way
00:24we get you some help all right 60 seconds on the clock and we take your calls and you can text at
00:31888-429-0941 we actually got somebody on hold already uh we won't say your name because we
00:37don't want to get you into trouble or anything but uh you got a question for one of us who would you
00:43like yeah i do okay uh let's see we can all address it do you or do you want somebody specific
00:51um can i go with orlando okay all right i'm here what's what's the question okay so here's the
01:00thing my mom has kind of like i feel so awkward saying this my mom has kind of become like the
01:09neighborhood spot yo wait i'm sorry we had a little we had a little fuzz in the phone i i thought you
01:18said thought oh no no no that wasn't but i i did say that your mom has become the neighborhood
01:25thought yes okay yes i know and i mean like honestly never in a million years would i thought
01:33that this would have happened or been the case or something you know um so i feel weird saying it too
01:40but ever since my stepdad passed away she has kind of just started um how do i say it nicely like
01:49uh entertaining some different kinds of men in the neighborhood okay all right um go mom so it's
01:56like i'll go and check up on her and it's like someone different is here and you know it's like oh
02:03why bring him out public or oh it's a guy that cuts the grass you know and i just i feel like it's
02:10kind of become this revolving door at my mom's house and i don't know i just i feel completely
02:19disgusted i'm starting to get concerned for her safety but i mean honestly above all i feel like i'm
02:29mostly concerned with how she's taking this and dealing with her husband's death and coping
02:35with it in a healthy way yeah so um that's hard that's hard um okay i mean it makes a lot of sense
02:45on i get why it's bothering you because i mean obviously you wouldn't want uh to have that kind
02:50of like idea that your mom is out there just throwing legs just the mental image yeah that's just
02:55that's a lot but but but but you can say that you know i mean she you said she had a step uh your
03:02stepdad and and she had a partner and now she's she's kind of searching which is which is is normal
03:08um you probably just need to sit down with her less judgy and and less daughtery and and and be a
03:16friend for her for a moment like you've got to go back to the daughter and mom relationship but
03:21right now she needs you because you're seeing it you're seeing it uh clearer than anybody else is
03:27you're getting access that probably nobody else knows she's starting out there so you really got
03:31to be the friend and sit down with her and bring her up on game because this basically is something
03:36that's new for her she hasn't been outdated she hasn't had to deal with communicable diseases and
03:42stuff like that and and and and the day the dangers that you're worried about so you need to sit
03:47down with her on a friendship level less judgy and inform her so she can at least be aware it's not
03:53just as easy as when she did it back in the 70s or whatever you know i'm saying so you kind of want
03:59to walk her through it and say hey mom i get it if you want to have a small team then that's fine
04:04but let's make sure they're yours make sure you're not sharing them hey you know there was a commercial
04:08years ago about everyone you sleep with you sleep with everybody they slept with are we are you sure
04:13that they're good are you protecting yourself mom there's a big range of uh folks in the villages
04:19out here in the retirement area that all got damn near the std these older people think that they
04:24don't get it so there's a lot of things that could affect her and you want to make sure she's safe
04:30just couple it with a whole bunch of love i'm only even entering into your business mom because i love
04:36you um and i want to make sure you're good and there's nothing wrong with you sowing your oats but
04:42let's just make sure you do it in a healthy way so nothing bad happens yeah i think that's the
04:47best info that i that you can do for her and uh yeah i think that's probably the best also it's
04:54just gonna definitely be um awkward and tricky it's gonna be awkward but but think about this that
05:00little bit of awkwardness can help your mom stay safe in this new transition so yeah you're right
05:06step up okay all right all right and what's mama's number i don't know no no no i mean with
05:12high g or something like she got only fans that was not part of the deal okay all right okay i'm
05:18just checking all right okay well i appreciate it thank you thank you all right there we go like
05:24our listeners that are texting in right now ask what neighborhood her mom yeah everybody want to
05:28know your mama got only fans what we got all right let's see here like 888-429-0941 what we got
05:34a question i was dealing with an older woman it doesn't say who this is for i was dealing with
05:38an older woman 12 years of difference and now i'm dealing with someone else and the older woman is now
05:44in a relationship but she does not want me dealing with anyone else she's trying to sabotage what should
05:51i do oh what is she trying to do oh go ahead married uh you need to step back you had your chance and
05:58your opportunity with this person and now you both are trying to move on if you still are stuck on
06:02somebody else then you should have been with them to begin with but obviously i want you though
06:06uh it sounds like he's moving on too like everybody's just moving on but not only are you
06:11jealous but you're trying to sabotage your relationship probably in his relationship you're
06:15meddling you're obsessive uh you need to probably get your own life he probably doesn't want to be
06:21involved with you anymore let's keep it moving you need to yeah i would just tell her all this and
06:25kind of be mean to put things in place and perspective so she can kind of get a real idea that you are
06:31ready to move on with your life and sometimes you got to be mean to people and be blunt at the same
06:36time if you're looking for an older lady though we got a phone number for this lady that apparently
06:40is throwing legs everybody at the public's you want to try and get in with that uh i don't like people
06:46trying to meddle in and other people's relationships like that this doesn't have a name but i'm giving it
06:50okay uh because it says spanish okay it's in spanish no it's oh okay i would not be giving
06:58i would pay to hear that i saw the word spanish and i'm like you know what i think that's a
07:04it said uh hey i'm trying to learn spanish so i can understand my girl's family uh it's hard because
07:12i feel like i'm not learning the right spanish they're puerto rican and i've been on the duolingo
07:18app and they still can't understand me when i'm talking what advice could you get for the best way
07:24to learn spanish that's more conversational because that's what i'm trying to learn she's special
07:29well man you i i say go with the duolingo because you don't want to learn a spanish that just caters to
07:38like a particular group of people like a particular dialect because puerto rican spanish is different than
07:45what the cubans speak and it's different than how mexicans speak and everything if i'm speaking
07:49in spanish and i'm puerto rican a cuban person can't understand no you can totally understand but
07:53you're gonna pick up bad habits you're gonna pick up slang you're gonna pick up words that
07:57it's kind of like a puerto rican thing that other like central america might not talk like that but if
08:03you speak a more or learn a more proper spanish that's kind of more mainstream ubiquitous for everybody
08:09i think it just makes your life a little easier and the learning process easier so don't get
08:15frustrated i think your girl's family will kind of look at that with respect like hey he's really
08:21trying to do the most that he can to communicate and vibe with us they'll be patient with you learn
08:27a little bit from them learn a little bit from your surroundings but also that duolingo or you know
08:33those kind of apps i think will be very helpful don't give up homie i i do know that when i was trying
08:37to fake my way i was using google translator yeah everybody clowned me on why they was like
08:42you you google it because i guess it was too specific oh or it was like too grammatically it
08:47wasn't right it's wrong yeah it was probably wrong but it's like i would google it and then use a
08:52translator and then text it and he'd be like you google that how do you know like i just don't
08:57understand how does google not speak good spanish is that kind of like different accents here in america
09:02maybe like a country accent a midwest so imagine trying to learn english from somebody who is like
09:10let's say speaks a very broken english like somebody like uh like uh the coach from lsu
09:16oh yes from lsu you learn english from him or or like ronnie boucher yeah or like ronnie from the
09:22south side or something like that you're not you already know i already know you know i told him
09:27you know i do know what you're saying yes i do know what you're saying i do all right let's see
09:34here eight at eight four two nine zero ninety four one we're squeezing a few more orlando yes my son
09:38is the worst player on the team oh no he's not good at all he's 16 so he's past the age where i think i
09:45need to be extra nice lie and be gentle all he wants is private lessons new cleats an expensive glove
09:51and i just see it as a waste he has no future in the game can i go to play it again sports and get
09:57him some secondhand gear does everything have to be new no everything don't have to be new um i mean
10:03now here's the thing the thing is your child and you having some sort of bond so he ain't got to be
10:11the next odell beckham you know like just to be able to be out there and playing and having fun
10:17i would say go ahead and get him the stuff maybe not go broke doing it if money is a problem but i
10:23would definitely invest in him and say hey you want to go for this we're going for it i told my
10:28daughter i'm like yo you know how long i'm gonna rock with you and dance as long as you want it and
10:34when you don't want it no more and you decide you want to pick up the violin my job now is to go find
10:39a violin lesson and a new violin and to come back and have that for you so you want to be there to
10:45support your kids uh not just supporting them when it's a big money grab yeah like you know you
10:50you ain't got to be dunking from the free throw line to get a new pair of jordans so support your
10:55kid show that you're there for them and spend that quality time with him maybe you running some drills
11:00with him and helping him out and stuff like that will get him you know a little bit more acclimated
11:05and so you know spend some time invest a little time i thought you were going to say the thing is
11:08that he sucks i mean and he might and he might suck that's like i mean you know and he might have got
11:14that from you i mean by the way he probably did you know so you can't really expect jordan to come
11:21from nothing so you know like i mean don't don't ridicule him just you know like be there for him
11:26and and and and celebrate whatever greatness he might be able to achieve or not everybody ain't got to
11:33be great yes you know some people gotta ride the bench the bench can't be empty i gotta i got one for
11:39davi davi davi my kids are pretty typical they behave well most of the times they definitely
11:45have their moments of course sometimes though they will act out like all kids do but my mother-in-law
11:50will say that it's my fault because i don't spank my kids according to her i'm spoiling my child
11:55they'll never really respect me because i'm too soft i explained that in our house we don't raise
12:00our hands i'm teaching my kids be respectful and at least talk about their anger and frustration
12:04instead of hitting people well my kids spent the night at her house last weekend and my youngest
12:09told me that granny spanked me and i was completely livid my husband won't take sides but i'm really
12:16really pissed off what should i do in the situation because i want to disown this um wow you you guys
12:24have to be adults if your husband is not going to help then i think in a situation like this about
12:30your kid then you need to have that one-on-one with her sit her down and tell her in no uncertain
12:36terms that that's not how you're raising your kid and you know it could be it could be a deal breaker
12:42for spending the night at grandma's house and things like that you can't tell somebody how to
12:48raise their kids that's you know i've learned that a lot here working at the freak show people hate that
12:53so i i would really tell her and be adult about it but don't bite your tongue and and let it be known
13:01don't touch my kid if i don't want them to be touched no you can't get away with that that's a
13:05grandparent right yeah grandma listen you show out grandmama's gonna have a different rule like i
13:10mean you might not beat your child you might not spank your child or however you want to word it i
13:15don't want to make it sound crazy but you might not put no hands on the job but the grandmother if
13:19she sees you showing out she gonna tighten you tighten you up that's how she was raised that's how
13:23she was raised and you ain't old people ain't changing their ways and you ain't no way old people
13:28change okay well if she's not gonna change then you can change the fact that ain't no more spending
13:32the night at grandma house okay that's fine oh that's gonna start such a huge rift that's fine
13:37because because granny ain't gonna change and y'all gonna realize you're gonna need grandmama more
13:41the more that she gonna need you now she wants you but you're gonna need granny and honestly
13:45everybody need an ass whooping in their life i ain't saying that you need to whoop them all the time
13:50but i'm just gonna tell you that i there are some ass whoopings my daughter has maybe three in the
13:56books and she reverts back to those by memory yep she remembers if i get up i'm like hey
14:03i remember that when i was six like you know what i'm saying like if she remembers those ass whoopings
14:09we went through the house the other day and she looked around and she was like man i remember when
14:15i cut my sister's hair and daddy you whooped my butt and she was like i wasn't sitting down right
14:20for the rest of the afternoon yeah and we started talking about it and she remembered it vividly
14:25cut her hair but she remembered she cut a lock of her sister's hair with the safety scissors
14:30and when and and her sister was like don't tell daddy because he'll spank me and i was like oh
14:35absolutely and and and she got she got tightened up you know but but it lasted i think those
14:41those things you can't beat somebody in the submission but you can teach them to have some sort of
14:48reverence for rules yeah we got a text and it says grandma's house grandma's rules right like
14:54that's your mama like you're gonna tell your mom his mama right but he won't do nothing about it but
14:59that's his mama right you're gonna tell your mama not to touch your child like i can touch your child
15:03because she knew that ahead of time oh she she knew that they don't touch their kids that's where the
15:08respect factor that's where it bothers me just a little bit she knew that and she didn't care i just
15:12feel like nobody's beyond reproach you have to be able to call grandma out if grandma's on oh hell no
15:18you have to oh my god you know i would get your mama on the phone i would get your mama on the
15:23phone right now and your mama will and your mama don't cuss but she might let you have it for that
15:29grandmama don't make no mistakes wow oh lord no no grandmama brought you into this world him him
15:36right and i don't even like her and this is this is grandma this is my child had a kid and i can
15:44spank that child because i got more love for that child than anybody on earth so i can put my hands
15:49on him because i'm only gonna put my hands on him when i need to even though i told you not to
15:52right okay because i'm not listening to you matter of fact you just the heffler that my son
15:58and hooked up with it
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