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00:00Get ready to match the stars from Charlie's Angels, David Doyle, Brett Summers, Charles Nelson Ryder, Juliette Crouse, from Family Feud, Richard Dawson, and Patty Doris, as we play the star-studded big money match game, P.M.
00:28And now, here's the star of that stage, P.M., Gene Rayburn!
00:48Okay, Johnny-O, ready to go? Thank you for joining us.
00:52Got a lively bunch here in the studio, and I hope you're feeling fairly lively at home.
00:56And, aren't you beautiful?
00:59Well, what a handsome group.
01:01You look pretty snappy as self.
01:02Thank you very much.
01:03Quite welcome.
01:04Listen, would you all join me in welcoming our two players here, Pam Newman and Joel Moser.
01:13Howdy, D.
01:14Greetings.
01:15Before we begin, we'd like to find out a little bit about each of you.
01:18Joel, we'll begin with you, sir.
01:19Well, I'm originally from Council Bluffs, Iowa, but my, uh...
01:23Oh, way to go.
01:25My wife, Connie, and I now live in Aspen, Colorado, where I work as a restaurant host and a wine steward.
01:32And, uh, Connie and I...
01:34I have a quart of a helmet.
01:35No, no, no, I'm sorry.
01:36No orders yet, please.
01:39He's not working tonight.
01:41Connie and I are just a little bit pregnant.
01:43Two months.
01:44Really?
01:44With the first one.
01:46Oh, how wonderful.
01:47Waiting for the first one.
01:48Is she here?
01:48Oh, yeah, right down there.
01:49Good.
01:50Don't get too excited.
01:52All right, thank you, Joel.
01:54Good luck to you.
01:54Now, Pam, where are you from and all that?
01:56Well, I'm originally from Salt Lake City, Utah.
01:59Yeah.
01:59And, oh, no one here from...
02:00No one from Salt Lake.
02:02No.
02:02Sorry.
02:03Can't win them all.
02:03Anyway, um, my husband and I are now living in Reseda.
02:06We just bought a home there, and I have two children, a boy and a girl.
02:09Okay, Pam, good luck to you.
02:11Here on Match Game PM, each of you will have three opportunities
02:14to match as many of the emigres as you possibly can.
02:19And the one who has done that most often at the end of the third round
02:22will be the winner, and will go on to play the big money supermatch,
02:25which can pay off over $10,000.
02:30So, Joel, we'll begin with you.
02:33I'll ask you to make a selection here.
02:34I'll take B for Baby.
02:35B for Baby.
02:37Good luck to you in that venture and in this one, too.
02:39Nearsighted Sidney accidentally drank a whole bottle of fabric softener.
02:46Oh, dear.
02:46What a terrible thing.
02:48Now, he's got the softest blank in town.
02:53Drank a whole bottle of fabric softener.
02:55Doing calling for dollars right now.
03:04He is.
03:06Now, wait a minute.
03:07No, we're not going to wait, Charles.
03:09Not another minute.
03:10I love it when you're strict.
03:17I guess we are going to wait another minute.
03:19Okay.
03:30Nearsighted Sidney accidentally drank a whole bottle of fabric softener.
03:33Now, he's got the softest blank in town.
03:36The only thing I can think of is tongue.
03:38Tongue.
03:39Tongue.
03:39Okay.
03:40Now, that's not bad.
03:42Well, now, what else can you say?
03:43Stomach.
03:44Stomach.
03:45All right, that's good, too, but tongue isn't bad.
03:47I don't holler at him.
03:48David, what'd you say?
03:50I don't know what's wrong with that answer.
03:54Oh, wow.
03:58Very good, David.
03:59I love it when you do Bela Lugosi.
04:01Oh, thank you.
04:05What'd you say?
04:06Can you pat your head and stomp on...
04:09No, I never could do that.
04:10Tum-tum.
04:11Tum-tum.
04:12So, that's what the audience said.
04:13They said stomach.
04:14He said, all right, Charles.
04:15The only hard tongue I remember was in Cairo at the turn of the century.
04:18Body.
04:19Body.
04:20Now he's got the softest body in town.
04:22That's okay.
04:24Yeah.
04:24No, there are a lot of good possibilities here.
04:26Joel is looking for the answer tongue.
04:28Now he's got the softest tongue in town.
04:30Must be Lawrence of the Rave, Joe.
04:30Soft skin.
04:31Softest skin in town.
04:33Well, a fabric softener would do that, too, if you drank it, I suppose.
04:36What do you think it'll do to you?
04:37Do you know what Charles meant by that statement that he made?
04:40With the whole body?
04:41Oh, no, in Cairo.
04:41The hard tongue in Cairo.
04:43I don't know.
04:43Would you like to explain that?
04:44It's just tongues are soft anyway.
04:47Obviously, he had no more idea than we did.
04:49No, that's right.
04:49He doesn't know what he's talking about.
04:50I said body.
04:51Body.
04:52All right.
04:53A little tongue for Joel there.
04:54I beg your pardon?
04:55Just show us your answer.
04:56Oh, really, no.
05:02You said it, not me.
05:04No, this is a little play in words.
05:06It is?
05:07The softest heart in town.
05:08Softest heart.
05:09Oh.
05:10Oh.
05:10Isn't that revolting?
05:14Okay.
05:15Here we go with Pam's first round question.
05:17Remember, they're hard.
05:18Now, these, listen carefully.
05:20Muggsy said, he says, you know, I grew up in the slums.
05:25My club had unusual decorations.
05:28Instead of an elk's head, we had a blank over the fireplace.
05:33Ah.
05:35I don't care what neighbor you like.
05:38Instead of an elk's head, we had a blank over the fireplace.
05:40This is an easy one.
05:42It is?
05:43It happens to be an easy one.
05:44It is, for me, very easy.
05:46Oh.
05:47Now, say something.
05:50A slum, right?
05:51Yeah.
05:51Oh.
05:54All right.
05:56Charles.
05:58Leave him alone.
05:58You're just putting pressure on him.
05:59He'll never answer.
06:00Oh, pressure.
06:01The teacher will pressure me to answer faster.
06:04I haven't seen pressure like that since Egypt, 1941.
06:09Is this a hard job?
06:10You mean a comfortable?
06:12Fire up.
06:12Muggsy said, where I grew up in a slum where club had unusual decorations.
06:16Instead of an elk's head, we had a blank over the fireplace.
06:20A rat?
06:21A rat.
06:22Okay.
06:23You find rats in the slums?
06:25So she said rat.
06:26A rat.
06:27Yeah.
06:27Well, we used to call this guy a rat when we lived in a slum.
06:30The landlord.
06:31The landlord.
06:33Stuffed him.
06:34Oh, they put him on the right.
06:35Yeah, he put him right up there.
06:36Very good.
06:37You are tough.
06:39So tough.
06:40He comes from a neighborhood.
06:41So tough.
06:43That?
06:43They thought he was gay.
06:44And as it turned out.
06:49Come on.
06:50Oh, a nest of roaches.
06:52A nest of roaches.
06:54Find those in the slums also.
06:55No, no, that's...
06:56You don't understand the question or you wouldn't move.
06:58Yeah.
06:58Charles, what else do you find in the slums?
07:01Rats?
07:02Roaches?
07:02Anything else?
07:03What's quite prevalent this time of year in Cairo?
07:05Rats.
07:07Rats.
07:08Okay.
07:08All right.
07:15Juliet.
07:16I don't know why.
07:16Instead of an elts head, we had a rat over the fireplace.
07:20I put skull.
07:21A skull.
07:22One of the recent victims.
07:24Okay.
07:25Of the rats.
07:27I thought a very small, but nice, mounted cockroach.
07:30A mounted cockroach.
07:32Right.
07:34Elegantly displayed.
07:35Well, thank you.
07:36Yes, Miss Patty.
07:37A stuffed parole officer.
07:41A stuffed parole officer.
07:43Very good.
07:44Yes.
07:45Excellent.
07:47Excellent, my dear.
07:50So, there you have it.
07:52At the end of round one, we have a tie score one to one.
07:55Round two coming up right after.
07:59Just want to point out that everyone who plays this game,
08:01except the Emmy Grays,
08:03will receive the home version of the match game.
08:07Ready, Jake?
08:07There you go.
08:08One-handed catch.
08:09Thank you very much.
08:10Now, where are we here?
08:11Score's tied.
08:12Joe went first last time.
08:13So, Pam, we'll ask you to go first this time.
08:15B.
08:16Please.
08:16B.
08:17All right.
08:18One person does not play.
08:19That's Charles.
08:20Took eight hours to think of an answer, and he mastered it.
08:22The mad scientist said,
08:26I just invented a bionic turkey.
08:31Let me tell you how it works.
08:34Every Thanksgiving, it blanks itself.
08:40Bionic turkey.
08:41In Cairo, you saw the last one.
08:47Genuine bionic turkey.
08:49I didn't think they had that sort of foul.
08:51Yes.
08:52G-B-T.
08:53A great bionic turkey.
08:54No, genuine.
08:55Oh, genuine.
08:56A lot of imitation, but this is a genuine.
08:58Right.
08:59All right.
08:59Here we go.
09:01Now, Pam, the mad scientist said,
09:03I just invented a bionic turkey,
09:07and let me tell you how it works.
09:08Every Thanksgiving, it blanks itself.
09:11I thought if he's bionic,
09:12he might roast himself or cook himself.
09:15Roast or cook himself.
09:16That's right.
09:17What did you say?
09:18You said roast himself or cook himself.
09:20Roast or cooks.
09:21Yes, right.
09:22Roast or cooks.
09:22Anything in the cooking family.
09:24I had gone further.
09:25Well, this is prior to cooking.
09:27I said stuffs itself.
09:28All right.
09:33You ever get a yay like that from Charlie's Angels?
09:37Negative.
09:37Negative.
09:38But they do like you.
09:39I hope so.
09:40What do you say?
09:42Only time he gets a yay like that
09:43at Charlie's Angels is when he puts his clothes on.
09:46Oh, I see.
09:47I don't know.
09:48I've just gone crazy.
09:49I said stuffs and roasts.
09:51Stuffs and roasts.
09:55Roast.
09:56You got it.
09:58Well.
09:59So, Pam, you're up to two.
10:01Two to one is the score at this moment.
10:02So, Juliet, every Thanksgiving,
10:03this bionic turkey roasts itself,
10:06according to Pam.
10:07Stuffs.
10:07Stuffs.
10:08Prior to roasting.
10:09Richard.
10:10El Stuffo.
10:11El Stuffo.
10:12Little stuffed turkey from you, Patty.
10:15Oh, dear.
10:16I said jives or stuffs.
10:19Jives or stuffs.
10:20Jives.
10:21You heard the expression jive turkey?
10:23Oh, yes.
10:23Jive turkey.
10:25You really are.
10:26Oh, current.
10:27Now you have.
10:28Let's see what we have here for Joel.
10:30It's number, it's A for you.
10:32Fred said,
10:34I went to a store
10:35where they sell clothing
10:37to practical jokers.
10:39I bought some crazy underwear.
10:42Whenever I stand up,
10:44my shorts blank.
10:50Went to a store where they sell clothing
10:52to practical jokers.
10:53I bought some crazy underwear.
10:54Whenever I stand up,
10:55my shorts blank.
10:56Now, Joel,
10:59Fred said,
11:00I went to a store
11:00where they sell clothing
11:01to practical jokers.
11:02I bought some crazy underwear.
11:03Whenever I stand up,
11:04my shorts blank.
11:06Whistle.
11:07Whistle.
11:09I don't know.
11:10Whistle.
11:10I couldn't think of anything either.
11:15That's as good as anything.
11:17I couldn't think of anything.
11:18Could you think of anything?
11:18No, I couldn't think of anything.
11:19I said every time he stood up,
11:21his shorts sat down.
11:22Oh, that was...
11:23Okay, it's as good as anything.
11:26Charles?
11:27Being in the military from Cairo.
11:30Yes.
11:30Every time he stood up,
11:31his shorts saluted.
11:32Right.
11:37Short saluted, eh?
11:39Juliet,
11:40every time I stand up,
11:41my shorts...
11:43rip.
11:43Rip.
11:45So that's...
11:46That's okay.
11:46That's a crazy shop.
11:48Crazy.
11:49They sell clothing
11:51to practical jokers.
11:52Yeah.
11:52All kinds of goofy stuff there.
11:54Every time he...
11:55Every time I stand up,
11:56my shorts...
11:57Light up.
11:58Light up.
12:00They go home yank.
12:01They do, indeed.
12:02They spell out.
12:03Right through the...
12:04Yes.
12:06Hiya.
12:06How are ya?
12:07Okay.
12:08You have the non-conformist routine,
12:10do you?
12:10Not necessarily.
12:12Oh, yes.
12:13No, every time I stand up,
12:14my shorts don't.
12:16Okay.
12:19Now, that's the end of round two.
12:20Two to one, the score.
12:21Pam's favor.
12:22You're ahead, Pam.
12:23We'll ask you to go first.
12:24A or B, please?
12:25B, please, again.
12:26All right.
12:27Two people do not play.
12:28Brett and Charles.
12:30Queen Guinevere
12:31wanted to make some extra money.
12:36And that's why she had
12:37the world's only coin-operated blank.
12:45Queen Guinevere.
12:46Look.
12:47You are familiar with Queen Guinevere.
12:51I think.
12:52Her life and story and all that.
12:55I'm not sure.
12:55Well, she wanted to make
12:56some extra money,
12:57and that's why she had
12:58the world's only
12:58coin-operated blank.
13:00I don't think I'm familiar
13:01with her story, but I, um...
13:03What would you like to say?
13:05Soldiers.
13:06Who?
13:08Soldiers.
13:09Soldiers.
13:10Only coin-operated soldiers.
13:12I'm not sure which Guinevere.
13:14Yes.
13:14She said only coin-operated soldiers, David.
13:16Yes, those tiny little men.
13:18Yes.
13:18Those tiny little metal men,
13:19and they went over
13:20and put a little nickel
13:21or sometimes a quarter
13:22in her coin-operated chastity belt.
13:25Chastity belt.
13:29I forgot.
13:32Yes, ma'am?
13:33Uh-huh.
13:34Same here.
13:34There it is.
13:35Two of those.
13:36I forgot about it.
13:37You don't know what a chastity belt is?
13:38No, no.
13:39I just...
13:40Oh.
13:40Let's see.
13:41I have two kids.
13:42Uh-huh.
13:43Uh-huh.
13:44Uh-huh.
13:47It was many years ago, wasn't it?
13:49Many years ago.
13:49500 years ago, this was.
13:51They were the world's
13:52first C-beers.
13:53Chastity belt.
13:54C-beer.
13:55Right.
13:56Thank you, good buddy.
13:56Big Smokey down the road.
13:59All right.
14:00She had the world's
14:01only coin-operated...
14:03Chastity belt and laundromat.
14:07That's a formidable combination.
14:10Now, here we are.
14:11Two to one the score.
14:12It's a very tight game here.
14:13And, Joel, you can match
14:14one to tie and two to win.
14:17Ready.
14:17Okay.
14:18David, you don't play.
14:19Okay.
14:20Bill said,
14:21I dreamed I was a circus performer
14:24who jumps off a tower
14:25into a tank of water.
14:28When I woke up,
14:29I found I had jumped
14:31headfirst into the blank.
14:37Headfirst into the blank.
14:39Yes.
14:42Joel, we're ready for you.
14:44Bill said,
14:45I dreamed I was a circus performer
14:47who jumps off a tower
14:49into a tank of water.
14:51When I woke up,
14:52I found I had jumped
14:53headfirst into the blank.
14:56Toilet.
14:57Toilet.
14:59Down, down, down.
15:06What do you say to that, Brett?
15:07I got so nervous.
15:09I thought...
15:10I thought he said...
15:13I thought there was a part
15:14of that question
15:14I didn't hear.
15:15I thought he said twins.
15:17Of course, toilet balls.
15:18All right.
15:19Score is now tied.
15:21One more of those
15:23and he wins a game, Charles.
15:24The fact that they don't have
15:25them yet in Cairo,
15:26I wrote it anyway.
15:27Yeah.
15:28He wins a game.
15:29What does the rest of you have?
15:31There it is.
15:34Come on.
15:36I'm glad you did, please, sir.
15:37I'll get to you in a moment.
15:38I'm going to say goodbye
15:39to this pretty lady
15:40and thank her for joining us
15:41here on Match Game PM.
15:42It's a pleasure to meet you,
15:43Pat Newman.
15:44Goodbye.
15:45Let's spin her off
15:46and spin a message
15:47or two jump through
15:47and hurry back
15:48and see how you go.
15:51It's time now
15:52for this big money supermatch
15:53where you can win
15:54over $10,000
15:55and to do that,
15:56we're going to have
15:56two audience matches for you
15:58and whatever you win here,
15:59you'll have a chance
16:00to multiply by 10.
16:01That'll be the final dollar figure
16:02you'll be playing for.
16:03Here we go.
16:04Good luck to you.
16:05We polled a studio audience
16:07in this very room
16:08and we said,
16:08you write down
16:09your best answer
16:10to this shady blank.
16:13Now, the answer
16:14they gave most frequently
16:15will get you $500
16:16if you match it.
16:18Then for matching
16:19that second most popular answer,
16:20you get $250
16:21and for matching the third,
16:23you get $100
16:24and three of the six
16:27emigres will assist you.
16:29Richard.
16:30Shady lady.
16:32Really?
16:32Right.
16:34Charles?
16:35The accent was so thick.
16:37What did he,
16:38shady lady?
16:39He said shady lady.
16:41Well, I mean,
16:42I couldn't get a word.
16:43The wind is blowing
16:44the right way.
16:47Shady lane.
16:49Shady lane.
16:50All right.
16:51And David,
16:51you were my first match, David.
16:52I have lady lane
16:54and shady...
16:55No, he's just say one, David.
16:56Oh, shady customer.
16:59No, we don't.
17:00You don't have to show him, David.
17:02David, get your act together,
17:03would you please?
17:05It repeats me
17:06how they solve those crimes
17:07every week.
17:08That's right.
17:11Hands around the bend.
17:13Shady customer,
17:14is that your choice?
17:15Yes, yes.
17:16All right.
17:17Shady customer.
17:21Shady lane and shady lady.
17:23Now, it's up to you
17:24to choose one of those, Joel,
17:25or reject them all
17:27and give us one of your own.
17:28What is your pleasure?
17:29I'll take Richard's shady lady.
17:31Shady lady.
17:31I'm sorry, Joel.
17:35The shady lady is spoken for.
17:37You'll have to make another choice.
17:39Your wife is here, too.
17:40All right.
17:41No, shady lady is what we want.
17:42May we see the $100 response?
17:45Shady tree is a good answer.
17:46I'm trying to give it to him.
17:47Let's see if we get a shady lady
17:48under the $250 number.
17:50Yes, we do.
17:51Congratulations to you.
17:52Let's just for curiosity
17:57see what's under the big one.
17:58Slide it, please.
18:00Shady lady.
18:01Shady lady.
18:02Yeah, yeah.
18:02Yeah.
18:08Oh, the loonies are out tonight, aren't they?
18:13We've got them all here.
18:15Now, listen, you've won $250.
18:16It means at least you'll be playing for us
18:1810 times that much or $2,500.
18:20Now, we're going to see how much more you'll win
18:22with your second audience match.
18:24All right.
18:24Slide it, if you please.
18:26Blank Johnson.
18:28Blank Johnson.
18:30All right.
18:30Sing out.
18:31Juliet.
18:32Johnson and Johnson.
18:33Johnson and Johnson.
18:35Pharmaceutical.
18:37And Brett.
18:38What about Lyndon Johnson, our ex-
18:41What about a band?
18:42There's one.
18:43And Charles.
18:48Lane Johnson.
18:50Oh, Lady Bird.
18:53Lady Bird.
18:54Shady Lane, Lady Bird.
18:57I'm still up from Lane.
18:59I can't come in this place.
19:01All right.
19:02Mrs. Johnson.
19:03No.
19:04Lady Bird is your answer.
19:05That's the first thing you said.
19:06You've got Lyndon, Lady Bird, and Johnson and Johnson.
19:09I remember-
19:1027 flavors.
19:11Quiet when the star is speaking.
19:13Oh, wow.
19:14Now, you've got Lyndon, Lady Bird, and Johnson and Johnson.
19:17Remember, you have the option of choosing one of those or rejecting them all and giving
19:21us one of your own.
19:22Lyndon Johnson.
19:23You want Lyndon Johnson.
19:25And I think they should think you should have said Howard Johnson, but we'll find out
19:29right now.
19:30Or Van Johnson.
19:31Or Van Johnson.
19:32Yes.
19:33All right.
19:33May we see the $100 number?
19:34You can call me Johnson.
19:35Artie Johnson.
19:37It's Raymond.
19:37Let's go up the ladder.
19:38Look at the $250 number.
19:41Howard Johnson.
19:42It's going to be a $100.
19:43You may be right after all.
19:45Let's slide it, please.
19:47Yeah.
19:48You got it.
19:48Oh, boy.
19:50Very good.
19:51Correct that it appears.
19:55Cut.
19:59All right.
20:00You've won $500 this time.
20:02Multiply that by 10 makes $5,000.
20:04Add it to the previous $2,500.
20:05You're shooting for a pot of $7,500.
20:09We'll give you the money, Joel, but you have to match one celebrity.
20:12That's the last hurdle here.
20:14Richard.
20:15All right.
20:15Stand in the back.
20:16Face me.
20:17Get ready to think.
20:20Good luck to you, Joel.
20:21Here it is.
20:22Blank pollution.
20:25Blank pollution.
20:32All right, Joel.
20:33He's written his answer.
20:34We ask you to give us a verbal response now.
20:37One.
20:37Hopefully, that'll match his.
20:38You get $7,500 if you do.
20:41Blank pollution.
20:42Blank pollution.
20:42Air.
20:42Air pollution.
20:47Well, you've got a bunch of readers out there in the audience.
20:49They think you came up with the right answer.
20:51Maybe you didn't.
20:51Maybe you didn't.
20:52We'll find out when Richard reveals his.
20:55I'm...
20:55Wait a minute.
20:59Cut through.
21:00Is there smog in this room?
21:02No.
21:02No.
21:03Air pollution.
21:04You have 8,250 dollars.
21:14Beautiful.
21:14Buy a lot of diapers.
21:18Your wife is very happy to you.
21:19There's nothing down there.
21:20While he's celebrating, we want to pass along a message or two for you.
21:29Joel Moser has won $8,250, and he says that'll buy a lot of diapers for his pregnant wife.
21:34Join us next week for Match Game PM here.
21:37We'll have another grand bunch like these.
21:40Gene Rayburn.
21:40Goodbye.
21:41Bye.
21:41Some contestants will receive the Codafone Message Center, a beautiful decorated telephone,
21:47a built-in automatic answering system.
21:49You'll never miss an important call with Codafone.
21:51And Starkist Tuna, the good-tasting tuna.
21:54Only good-tasting tuna gets to be Starkist.
21:56Don't forget to tell them Charlie sent you.
21:59And GE's rechargeable battery system.
22:01One plug-in recharger charges GE batteries up to 1,000 times.
22:05Now in gift packs in all popular sizes.
22:09And Simonar, the first great name in car waxes.
22:12Available in pre-softened liquid form.
22:14There are shines, and there are Simonar shines.
22:17And long-lasting Lucite house paint from DuPont.
22:19Forms a tough seal to resist cracking and peeling.
22:22Plus, Lucite brushes for professional results.
22:25And Gum Out Carburetor Cleaner helps keep your car free from slow starts,
22:28bucking and stalling in the tank and on the linkage.
22:30Gum Out helps make your car a smooth performer.
22:44This is Johnny Olsen speaking for Match Game PM.
22:47A Mark Goodson, Bill Tottenham production.
22:50A Mark Goodson, Bill Tottenham production, Bill Tonney acquisition
22:53of the