Dave & Chuck the Freak ask listeners to call-in about things co-workers have done to make them call H.R. and realize they have had a few moments of their own with Dave throughout the years.
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00:00here's a workplace harassment story we're gonna get into in a second but my
00:09question for you guys is why have you had to call HR on a co-worker oh guy just
00:15showed me his legs really exactly the shorts up and show me the legal I was
00:24I think he was trying to show more than that show my lily-white skin because a
00:39dude was called into HR for seductive banana eating I almost I almost went to HR with Dave
00:45oh you stop it I did for his banana eating oh like on the phone hi no honestly yeah it's Dave again
00:53yeah what's the problem problem with Dave again what seems to be the trouble who complained he gets
00:58like two foot long bananas and then deep throats them and then chomps them he like deep throats
01:05him and then chomps them the most erotic man I've ever seen a banana eat a banana you've made me feel
01:10feel so self-conscious I gave up bananas I know I know he deep throats bananas and then just
01:17viciously chomps them I don't deep throat I literally put it in my mouth and take a big
01:23old bite that's it big old bite is right did you see how he eats a hot dog yeah looks the
01:32man for like Debbie does Dallas in here all right stop it Davey does what do you call them
01:38the glizzy gobblers what are they yeah you're you're definitely a glizzy goblin I am not a glizzy
01:44goblin I'm eating trying to be healthy is what I'm doing yeah but I think I would have been
01:51and if that turned you on you're into some dick torture no no but I I think just it was the overall
01:58gigantic size of the bananas that Dave would find Dave would find two foot long bananas my value for
02:04my money yeah I know uncomfortable violent chomping so yeah I went to HR for that here's another one my
02:15coworker reported me to HR for eating snacks that were too crunchy I'll be honest this was the problem
02:24that I really had with Dave's banana eating was the volume of chomps I do hate I hate so chomps can I
02:31do what can I do what can I do right over here I can't I don't chomp like that yeah thankfully none
02:37of us really eat in the studio together yes we used to when you know your food shamed you take it into
02:44your office like you're a dad always yeah David always have like a he'd have some stuff he'd mix in a
02:52big white creamy it was yogurt and granola some stuff he'd mix in big white creamy yogurt and granola
03:00there's a lot of trouble in here Jesus his apple days were oh my god the crunching of the apple like
03:06that's that's what I mean like a boom boom yeah his apple slice is probably still here over there
03:13yeah I still do you know there's the pineapple stuff and uh I didn't core my pineapple in here
03:18no I just ate it yeah this was like working with Dave right here just all these noises I wasn't sending
03:25sexual messages and just Chuck was picking up stuff I wasn't laying down okay I'll say that he was
03:32coming to his own I'll say I'm not sexual conclusions if I was trying to seduce you with
03:37my banana I wouldn't chop on it dickhead that was a weird statement I admit okay I admit when you put
03:47that all together when you put that all together it's odd can we take that down please let me make
03:55mark the time on that one mark the time on that was impressive yeah okay it worked put that in
04:03the file in case HR ever calls me yeah like let me show you let me play exhibit a the d-head
04:10uh Dave called me a d-head now that's a legitimate reason yeah yeah I get that and I do apologize oh my
04:22phone's ringing I think it's HR oh yeah damn it that works oh good uh Jake hi Jake how are you
04:29hey how's she going eh how's she going eh what is the reason you had to call HR on a co-worker
04:37I was working with a gentleman and uh we had come across a job that was messed up and he messed it up
04:44and he said if you tell anyone that uh it was my mess up I'm gonna kill you so I had to go to HR for
04:50that uh he ended up getting expended uh year later come to find out he actually is uh up for first
04:57degree murder right now so he finally did kill someone was on a figure of speech it was not a
05:03figure of speech I'm lucky to be alive yeah it was a good call wow yep that's no good James worked with
05:10a murderer sure did yeah yeah he did he uh killed a couple hookers and set the car on fire and who knows
05:17an hour before that I might have been giving him a hard time about going outside to push carts I could
05:21have been in the trunk too oh my god the deadly cart killer yep yeah James Brown yep and that was not an
05:27easy name for him to have when I was working oh man we're second time of your song and dancing James
05:31Brown oh get out there and get those carts oh man we're not paying you to sing and dance he's
05:36obviously still behind bars oh god I hope so yeah I was gonna say let's make sure yeah you might
05:40want to look that up I really hope so inmate records yeah so then I'll miss those people at that grocery
05:45store that do not like me oh sorry you're still there or I feel like you'll be dancing
05:51oh he's got the can of gasoline too and some matches he's got a cape on oh god I got the same
06:10fate as those hookers he murdered years ago oh except hopefully I don't have to have sex with
06:15them first I mean how long ago would that have been oh let's see because I think how long I've
06:25been gone from there so let's see we're 2022 yeah probably 15 years ago yeah I mean depending if you
06:32got a good lawyer he could be out yeah he could be out if that's the case this is not the same one
06:37that worked at that or you really would be screaming like that that's the first time you
06:44stabbed me he did it 12 more times oh that's the number six I think oh every time I made the
06:53James Brown joke he stabbed me or it right in the gut oh that one was right in the ass oh you're not
06:59gonna that's too many stabs he's getting so cold too many stabbings no matter how many times he
07:07stabs me it hurts the same oh god I hope he's still behind bars and there he goes me too because we
07:15keep this bit going every single time if he's listening I'm like he's just getting more and
07:18more angry yeah he would yep and that's the end of James
07:21you