Dave & Chuck the Freak talk to listeners about the embarrassing injuries that sent them to E.R. after discussing a 53-year-old man who suffered a penis injury from vigorous sex.
Category
😹
FunTranscript
00:00Doctors are warning against prolonged, vigorous sex
00:09after treating a patient with a potentially deadly injury to his genitals.
00:16I'm fine.
00:18The 53-year-old guy suffered inflammation in the main vein
00:23that runs along the shaft of the penis.
00:27I could use some inflammation.
00:28You couldn't because that could lead to life-threatening blood clots.
00:34Well, you don't want those.
00:37He had what they called a Viagra-fueled rough sex session the previous night,
00:44which had caused extreme swelling on the undercarriage of his penis.
00:50Really got after it, huh?
00:52I mean, the friction alone, right?
00:54I don't know.
00:54I mean, yeah.
00:55I mean, that lady must have been.
00:58Dry as a bone.
01:00Well, they're going at it for hours.
01:03I mean, it sounds like when a plane doesn't have its wheels.
01:08Yeah, you got to put some foam down.
01:09Yeah, he did that.
01:12They say his penis skin was warm to the touch.
01:15Oh, my God.
01:16And tender.
01:17Sucks to be the doctor that's got to be like.
01:19Yeah, it's warm.
01:21It's warm to the touch.
01:23It's warm.
01:25Is it?
01:27Swollen.
01:27Swollen and warm.
01:29God.
01:30That's a bad gig.
01:32Let me touch it.
01:33Yeah.
01:33Got warm.
01:34He was treated with anti-inflammatory drugs and made a full recovery within a few weeks.
01:39But doctors are using his case as a warning.
01:42They say doctors should be wary about prescribing Viagra to patients who are likely to have vigorous sex.
01:51They got to ask, do you like vigorous sex?
01:53That's a crazy thing.
01:54Be careful.
01:54You have to give like a warning.
01:55Yeah, I do.
01:57But I mean.
01:57I'm a pounder.
01:57I like to pound.
01:59Yep.
02:02I'm the president of pound town.
02:08Vigorous.
02:10Quickly here.
02:11Have you had to go to the ER for a real embarrassing injury like this?
02:14Like having a extremely swollen undercarriage and have to explain to them it was from your all night Viagra sex session.
02:24Got to be a pretty embarrassing moment for the dude.
02:26Have you been in a situation, something similar to that?
02:29If you have, reach out to us.
02:301-855-954-6969.
02:331-855-954-6969.
02:35Doesn't have to be sexual related, of course.
02:37But an embarrassing moment that ended up sending you to the hospital.
02:41You can text us at 46969.
02:44Listen to this.
02:46I had to go to the ER for a hemorrhoid that I just couldn't push back in myself.
02:52Yep.
02:53This is an emergency.
02:54It was the size of a ping pong ball.
02:56That's big.
02:57So a group of medical students watched as a doctor pushed my hemorrhoid back in.
03:03Well, that's a bad day.
03:04Like you had to, you chose to go there the day that it was like a medical, you know, students.
03:10Of course.
03:10They were there watching.
03:11Of course.
03:11Chuck luck.
03:12If Chuck ever needs a hemorrhoid, push back in.
03:14I will just say no.
03:15I'll just say no.
03:16I didn't know the treatment for hemorrhoid.
03:18I still, I have a loose understanding.
03:20That's not even going to treat it.
03:22You're going to go push again.
03:23It's going to pop right out like a grate.
03:25Oh my God.
03:26I have such a loose understanding of them.
03:27Me too.
03:27I do.
03:28And I don't want to read anymore.
03:29I don't want to know any more about it.
03:30I'm sure.
03:30I didn't know you just shove them back in.
03:32No, I'm sure that the doctor actually, he drained it.
03:34I'd almost like the guy thought he pushed it back up.
03:37They're filled with blood.
03:38Blood.
03:39Sometimes they look, when we've seen the pictures of them, it looks like just like a bump.
03:43It is a bump, but the underneath the underlying thing is that a blood vessel broke.
03:48Oh.
03:49And that's what's first.
03:50And then it, so blood fills up like in inside and creates a little thing.
03:54And some people's it's bleeding a lot.
03:56But so they get great big or they, and they just keep injuring it over and over and it
04:02just gets bigger and bigger.
04:03But they take it out.
04:03They would never just like push it back in like, oh, there's no, I mean, maybe a small
04:08one.
04:09Maybe they would try that if they were like, it's going to clear up on its own.
04:12But if you've got a ping pong ball, they've got to drain that thing, right?
04:17I mean, they've got to do something.
04:19With voice changing technology, we'll go to this caller here.
04:23Hello, Gan.
04:24Gan?
04:24I don't know.
04:24I was trying to say guy and man.
04:26Hello, guy.
04:27How you doing?
04:28Hello.
04:28Good, you?
04:29Good.
04:30So what embarrassing situation sent you to the ER?
04:33The wife and I were playing with some sounding rods and she was having some fun with it.
04:39She got curious, though, and she wanted the other end in her while one end was in me.
04:45Oh, my God.
04:48Man, Gan.
04:50It was going fine until she started hitting the spot on her, I guess.
04:55And she got a little vigorous and she ended up puncturing the inner part of my urethra
05:02inside my body.
05:05F you, dude.
05:06Yeah, it's risky.
05:08That's what you know.
05:08Yeah, I had to go to the emergency room with blood kind of spraying out of my unit.
05:14Oh, I hate you, man.
05:16Spraying.
05:17And I had to explain to many nurses and doctors what sounding was, and all they could ask was
05:22why.
05:23Yeah, exactly.
05:24Tell me.
05:25Why?
05:25You're done with this.
05:26No.
05:27Oh, absolutely not.
05:28No.
05:29You're a sick bastard, you son of a bitch.
05:31No, it's your thing.
05:32He talked a lady into doing it.
05:34So these are two sound, like she was sounding too in her?
05:37She was sounding in her.
05:38It was the same sound.
05:40We were on different ends of the same sound.
05:43Yeah.
05:43Oh, wait.
05:44So it wasn't in her?
05:45No, it was inside of her pee area.
05:48Yeah.
05:48What are you trying to see?
05:49If Wi-Fi would go through both of you or something?
05:51Oh, we got Felice B.O. going.
05:54Oh, my God, dude.
05:55You're a crazy son of a bitch.
05:57Thanks for calling in, though.
05:58Wow.
05:59Let's see if we both can do it.
06:01Pick up some radio stations or something.
06:02Oh, my God.
06:03This person said my buddy's aunt was out of town, said we could swim at her house if we
06:06just hopped the fence.
06:09I couldn't really hop a fence, so I got to the top and rolled over it.
06:13Oh, yeah.
06:13Yeah.
06:15I feel you.
06:16I kind of got caught up.
06:17Who knew?
06:18And then my ass landed on the rusty gate handle.
06:23Oh.
06:23Stories.
06:23I am not kidding you when I say I tore myself a new b-hole.
06:27Jesus, man.
06:28So many fence accidents.
06:30Fences.
06:31Remember that video?
06:32There was a picture that was viral of that man that fell on one of those spear-like.
06:36Oh, yeah.
06:37And it went through his ass and legs.
06:39Oh, yeah.
06:39And he was just like, ah!
06:41Yeah.
06:42Ah!
06:42It hurts a bit.
06:44My ass!
06:45Yeah.
06:46Oh, buddy.
06:47I don't know.
06:49What we're supposed to do here.
06:52Rob, an embarrassing thing that sent you to the hospital.
06:56It wasn't me.
06:57It was guys that we played softball with.
07:00So we went down to Florida, the Disney World Center or whatever for softball tournament.
07:05And whenever you go down there, you always look for the other Michigan teams, you know,
07:09see how they're doing in the tournament or whatever.
07:10So we see these guys, this other team, and they all look super bummed.
07:14And we're like, what's wrong?
07:15You know, they're like shaking their head.
07:17They didn't want to tell us.
07:19So finally, we get it out of them.
07:20When they rented their house for the week, they were all messing around in the pool.
07:24They had their wiffle ball bat out and everything, that little yellow one.
07:27And so they were messing around, jumping in the pool, and then some guy jumped at a guy
07:32from outside, pulled his drawers down, was going to whatever with his butt, rub them
07:36or whatever.
07:37The guy uses a bat to like shield them and push them away.
07:41But as he, you know, pushes away and then lets go of the bat, hits a bomb in the pool.
07:45And my man got like infiltrated bad.
07:49Infiltrated?
07:49Yeah, you got it.
07:50That's what he calls it.
07:51Like, yeah.
07:52Like, yeah.
07:53Like, I don't know.
07:54It's worse than penetrating.
07:56Yeah, that's worse.
07:57Yeah, it's worse.
07:58Everybody.
07:59Everybody was like a 16-inch.
08:01He had to have, like, stay down there for like two months, get surgeries.
08:06And it was just bad.
08:07You could see on their face something bad happened.
08:09You can't go from zero to wiffle ball bat.
08:12Chuck, what's wrong with your face, man?
08:14Everything okay?
08:15No, man.
08:15We went through it this week.
08:18Someone said something about infiltration?
08:20Yeah.
08:21You were infiltrated?
08:22I was.
08:23How'd that happen?
08:24I had a blitz ball bat.
08:27Shoved right up my ass.
08:30Tore me a new one.
08:32I'm still walking funny.
08:34I can't poop.
08:39Infiltrated.
08:40I say most men, it would have just not went in.
08:45But for me, it went right in.
08:49I don't know why.
08:50I don't know why it went right in, but it did.
08:53I like the idea of calling the ambulance and being like, we got a man that's been infiltrated in his anus.
08:58I'm going to get out of here.
09:00Well, it'd be more weird if I, like, I didn't show any kind of remorse face or anything.
09:04I was just like, if something's in your butt, bud.
09:09I'm okay.
09:09I'm fine.
09:10I'm just, we just got to get it out.
09:12It's always like a bunch of straight bros just having straight fun before something.
09:15Oh, yeah.
09:16Yeah.
09:16Wiffle ball up the anus.
09:17Yeah.
09:18Or wiffle back.
09:18Straight bro fun is teetering on gay bro fun.
09:22It's always teetering right on the edge.
09:24It's like, I'm going to jump into the pool and pull my pants off to try to land on your face with my naked ass.
09:32And you're going to shield that move with a bat that's going to go inside me.
09:36Right.
09:37Okay.
09:38Straight.
09:38Straight.
09:40Straight fun.
09:40Listen to this.
09:41This is a nice wife.
09:44She said, in a moment of desperation, my husband begged me to shove his hemorrhoid back in.
09:49Because he couldn't reach and he was too embarrassed to see the doctor.
09:56Well, I didn't want to do it, but I felt guilty, she said, and I gave in.
10:01It was so big, you guys.
10:03Oh, man.
10:03I don't want a woman to see that.
10:06The size of an egg.
10:09Listen, pushing that back in is not going to save anybody.
10:13As I was trying to shove it back inside of him.
10:16No.
10:18It popped.
10:18Yeah, I knew it.
10:20Blood everywhere.
10:21I knew it.
10:21I screamed.
10:23He looked down and passed out.
10:26As you should.
10:28And that's when the marriage ended, I assume.
10:30It's like a water balloon.
10:32That'd be over with.
10:33She said we had to then spend the entire night in the ER.
10:38Like, why wouldn't you just go to the doctor for that anyway?
10:40Like, what's the...
10:40I feel like it's worse to ask your lady...
10:42Yeah, don't ask your lady to do that.
10:43You gotta love her the rest of your life.
10:45She's gotta love you the rest of your life.
10:46She doesn't anymore.
10:46She has pushed something back into your b-holes.
10:48Nobody loves you after they put a hemorrhoid back in.
10:51She agreed to it.
10:52She...
10:53It's so horrible to think of.
10:55She pressed it and it gave way.
10:57Yeah.
10:57How are you supposed to go on with life?
10:59Like, everything's okay after that?
11:00She's had his anal blood all over you.
11:02Oh, yeah.
11:03Well, if you have an egg hanging out of your ass...
11:06You gotta go to the doctor.
11:07No, you do.
11:08Come on.
11:08An egg?
11:09Listen, we've all talked...
11:11We've talked about how, you know, you gotta give it a look somehow, sometimes.
11:14When you're like, you feel something back there and you're like, I gotta give this a look.
11:19And it's always sort of been met with like, what?
11:22Like, you would look.
11:22He's like, yes.
11:23No.
11:24Yes.
11:24You have to look.
11:25Because if you look and there's an egg, you gotta go right to the hospital.
11:30I'm passing out.
11:31I don't know what the size would be for me to be like, okay, I've got to go to the hospital
11:37right now.
11:38Probably not.
11:39Like, the little marbles.
11:41Like, maybe, you know, the thumb one, the bigger one.
11:44I'm going to the hospital.
11:45Gobstopper?
11:47Hospital.
11:48Yeah.
11:48Frozen meatball?
11:49Hospital.
11:50That's too big.
11:51To me, I think you're fine in, like, that small marble to, like, maybe one of those little
12:00grapes.
12:00You gotta check the box of what meatball, marble, gobstopper.
12:05Here you go.
12:06Yeah.
12:06I'm like, uh, it's like BB.
12:08Nope.
12:08It's not a BB.
12:09It's bigger than a BB.
12:10It's bigger than a marble.
12:12It's bigger than a pea.
12:13Grab your hemorrhoid checklist.
12:14There's a little chart here.
12:15It has, uh, circles.
12:16It's bigger than a chickpea.
12:18Bigger than a chickpea, okay.
12:19Yeah.
12:19It's bigger than a chickpea.
12:21It's bigger than a, uh, one of those smaller gumballs.
12:25Okay.
12:27We're not up to the egg part, though.
12:28No, no.
12:29The egg is way down there.
12:31It's cold red.
12:31It's way down there.
12:32Cold red.
12:34Be careful, people.
12:35Yeah, be careful.
12:36Be careful.
12:36And don't push on those things.
12:37Ladies, don't push.
12:39Ladies.
12:40No.
12:40Ladies, ladies.
12:41Stay away from those ladies.
12:41No.
12:42Stay away from those ladies.
12:44That's great advice.
12:45Yeah, that's a good, that's a good, good call.
12:47Yeah.