Dave & Chuck the Freak talk about a man in Japan who suffered a catastrophic butt injury after a chair he was sitting broke, and he was penetrated by a metal pipe.
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00:00Now, it's time to play What's Up His Butt.
00:15Happy New Year!
00:16Happy New Year!
00:18What is it?
00:19Not going to make you guess, but it is devastating.
00:23Oh.
00:25I'd call this an anal catastrophe.
00:27Oh.
00:28Okay.
00:30A Japanese man left fighting for his life when his chair collapsed and he was penetrated
00:42by a metal pipe.
00:43Good God.
00:44Oh, my God.
00:45They put a chair over top of a pipe?
00:49Also, it was one of those.
00:51Those are dangerous chairs.
00:53Yeah, they really are.
00:54You can't take a risk.
00:55No.
00:55It's a foldable kind.
00:56When I sit in those, it sounds like an old wooden ship.
01:00Yeah, like a creaking.
01:01Like an old boat that you're on, like old pirate-style ship.
01:05That's on its last legs.
01:06Yeah, like you can hear the creaking.
01:08Oh, yeah.
01:08The 51-year-old was sitting on a foldable chair at home when it crumbled, landing him on top
01:15of a rigid pipe that penetrated his anus.
01:20Damn.
01:22He lay bleeding on the bathroom floor for an hour after being impaled.
01:26Jesus.
01:27Before a relative finally found him and called for an ambulance.
01:30So he made it to this, so he collapsed and then was like, I'm going to go to the bathroom.
01:34Oh, yeah.
01:35He tried to get a look at it.
01:37I bet he tried to get a look at it.
01:38He did and then passed right out.
01:39Yeah.
01:40Whoa.
01:41I'm sure everything's okay.
01:43Oh, no.
01:44He was in shock when the paramedics arrived, having lost-
01:47Rigid pipe!
01:47A rigid pipe!
01:50That's terrible.
01:52That's terrible.
01:52No, it's the worst, you guys.
01:54Don't sit over a rigid pipe.
01:57You've always said it.
01:58I know.
01:59He lost a significant amount of anal blood.
02:01Sure.
02:02And other blood.
02:04At the hospital, doctors performed a series of scans to determine the extent of the damage,
02:09particularly to the iliac vein and artery.
02:14Sounds bad.
02:14Major blood vessels that supply blood to the lower body.
02:18They had to cut into his abdomen to better assess the damage.
02:22Luckily, they didn't find any active bleeding.
02:25A collection of blood that had formed there, called a hematoma, luckily had not grown larger,
02:33suggesting the bleeding was controlled.
02:36The impaled pipe narrowly avoided a potentially catastrophic injury to a nearby artery that
02:43would have led to high-pressure bleeding if punctured.
02:45Oh.
02:45Every time I sit in, like, a precarious chair, like, this thought crosses my mind.
02:52It's, like, one of the things I'm worried about.
02:54I, like, picture the wood doing that.
02:56I've thought about it, too.
02:57Going up.
02:58I've thought about it, too.
02:59You have to.
03:00I'm like, man, this...
03:02Every chair could penetrate you.
03:03Those little...
03:04Those little, like, $5 plastic chairs.
03:08Yeah.
03:09Cheap chairs.
03:09Those legs that just fold into themselves.
03:13You can't go anywhere near those.
03:15You never know when it's going to happen.
03:16You don't.
03:16It happened to Rowan Christmas Day.
03:18It did.
03:19Oh, no.
03:19Yeah.
03:20A chair collapsed on at home.
03:21No.
03:22He was at his grandma's house.
03:25And grandma still has some couches that were...
03:29They're probably 35 years old or something.
03:32And Rowan just went to sit down in the whole thing.
03:36The legs all shot out.
03:39The whole couch.
03:40The 35-year-old couch fell apart.
03:41Just destroyed itself.
03:42That's it.
03:43Couldn't handle it anymore.
03:44Just destroyed itself.
03:44So then it became trying to fix a couch all morning.
03:47Oh, damn.
03:47It's good times, but...
03:48Damn.
03:49You just never know.
03:51Couch, at least, there's some cushions to protect your anus.
03:54Right.
03:56Not one of these foldable chairs.
03:57And I don't know why we hang on to them when you should let them go.
04:02A long time ago.
04:02A long time ago.
04:03You should let them go.
04:04I have a couple of them where I'm like, oh, no one should even sit in that one anymore.
04:09I don't know why I haven't thrown it away.
04:10I'm going to throw it away today.
04:11Yeah.
04:12Yeah, you should.
04:12This is a good lesson.
04:14The old chair that I used to sit in...
04:15Yeah.
04:16Oh, here?
04:17Yeah.
04:17There was something coming up the middle that I thought, well, I'm going to be penetrated
04:21during this.
04:21There's been a couple of these chairs.
04:23Like, I had this chair and feel like that before.
04:26Wasn't there a chair at the old place that we used?
04:28Oh, that one broke right on him.
04:30Yeah.
04:30That did.
04:31Snapped right in the middle.
04:32Yes.
04:33And Dave fell right down.
04:35Yeah.
04:35Luckily, not through my anus.
04:36No.
04:37We talked about it.
04:38We were concerned.
04:40And it could have happened.
04:40All of these chairs have a very high, like, under pressure piston device that's right in
04:46the center that it does every single year.
04:49Those things blast someone's anus.
04:52I believe, like, it happens all the time.
04:54Good to be you.
04:55Because there was a time during the show where I, like, was, I was really animated.
04:59And sometimes I'd hop back and I'd sit down real hard.
05:02And then there was one time where I, like, noticed that.
05:05And I'm like, I better cool it with that.
05:06Yeah, I know.
05:07I changed my chair out.
05:08I'm like, I'm feeling that hole.
05:10Yeah.
05:10Oh, man.
05:11I don't want anything to happen down there.
05:14So he arrived at the hospital with this foreign object still inside of him.
05:20The man is recovering well after his hospital stay.
05:24But a day after being discharged, he did develop swelling in his leg, a sign of a blood clot
05:28and one that traveled to his lungs as well.
05:31Oh, my God.
05:32But his injury, they say, was far milder than it could have been.
05:36Yeah.
05:36I mean, yeah.
05:37He fell on a pipe.
05:38Chairs are important, man.
05:39Like, when I check a sturdy, when I get, like, a sturdy chair, I'm like, I'm like, yes.
05:45Oh, yeah.
05:46You're proud of it.
05:46I do.
05:47I, like, feel like I'm pried with it.
05:48Yeah.
05:49Look at that.
05:50Well-made chair.
05:51God.
05:51Doctors had to perform a colostomy, a procedure that creates an opening in the abdomen for
05:56the colon to pass waste.
05:57He was in the hospital for 11 days.
05:59His condition improved slowly.
06:00Gradually, he regained the ability to walk.
06:02There you go.
06:03It's looking up.
06:04So doctors allowed him to go home.
06:06But then four days later, he started to notice those other issues, including the swelling,
06:11and he had to be readmitted to the hospital.
06:14Pushed it.
06:15They gave him some blood thinners, and eventually things kind of worked out.
06:21No, it's not great, man.
06:22It's not great.
06:23I feel like your B-hole is the thread that's holding a lot of it together sometimes.
06:28It's some of our most...
06:29There's important stuff.
06:31Dangerous bits to have.
06:32Yeah.
06:32It's like that.
06:34Accidental start.
06:35Pretty important, yeah.
06:35Yeah, it is.
06:37So what are we...
06:38I mean, we're looking right into his anus here, and it's hard to...
06:42I think we're seeing his whole bottom there.
06:46It's hard to tell.
06:47Yeah, you can't tell.
06:49It looks just...
06:49It looks like it's been destroyed.
06:51Yeah.
06:51Yeah.
06:51Well, he couldn't walk.
06:53He's like, I'm glad that's over.
06:54And then they're like, you've got a blood clot now.
06:57And they just happened to find him sitting in a chair in some other photo.
07:02Yeah, that's...
07:03Is that really him?
07:04No, it's not a photo.
07:05No, it's just showing a chair.
07:06Is that him?
07:07Yeah.
07:07Showing a chubby Asian man in a similar chair.
07:10Yeah.
07:11That's no good either.
07:13Yeah, that's crazy.
07:14But just be careful.
07:15Once you reach a certain size, there's certain chairs that aren't for you.
07:19This is crazy.
07:20He made it to the bathroom.
07:21I guess you panic, right?
07:24What do you do?
07:25What do you do when there's a pipe up your ass?
07:26Well, you're in shock, probably.
07:28So he's in shock.
07:29Yeah.
07:29And you're bleeding.
07:30And you want to assess the damage.
07:33You know you fell on a pipe.
07:35Right.
07:35And you know the pipe was in you.
07:40So you've got to check it out.
07:42And the best place to check it out is the bathroom.
07:46It's got a big mirror.
07:48You've got to somehow spread your cheeks.
07:50I don't know if I could look.
07:52I really don't know if I could look.
07:53You have to look.
07:54You have to look.
07:55Would you look?
07:55I don't know if I could, you guys.
07:57I need to know how bad it is.
07:59Oh, I don't know if I could look.
08:00I don't know if I could look, Chuck.
08:01I feel like once I saw a pool of blood, I might pass out or something.
08:05I think it would be hard to look in that situation.
08:09I don't think you actually get a chance to look.
08:12I can understand the mindset of, I need to see what's going on.
08:17Your first thing.
08:18I probably wanted to feel with the bleeding and everything.
08:22I mean, I've looked for lesser things.
08:24Yeah, me too.
08:25So I feel like I would look for this.
08:27Yeah.
08:28Not an anal catastrophe.
08:30No.
08:30An anal issue.
08:32Yeah.
08:33I've had like an anal speed bump and I've checked it out.
08:38Not an anal catastrophe.
08:40Wow.
08:40I've never really looked at my anus.
08:42No, I haven't either.
08:43Give it a whirl.
08:44Give it a look.
08:45It's important.
08:47Give it a baseline.
08:48You need a baseline.
08:50Like where you're starting from?
08:51Yeah, like this is it normal.
08:54Okay.
08:54Anything weirder than that.
08:57And we got trouble.
08:58Yeah, no.
08:59I'm not sure I could honestly get you a butt baseline.
09:04Yeah, you got to take a look, I guess.
09:06I think as soon as you saw blood, that would be the indicator.
09:10Oh, man.
09:10My God.
09:11Big problems.
09:11Yeah.
09:12Yeah.
09:12I mean, you knew what happened.
09:14You knew what happened though right away.
09:16And you can't obviously sit down.
09:17You just go on all fours.
09:19You lie on your stomach.
09:20Like, what do you do?
09:21Well, that's another thing too.
09:22Like after you're discharged, like what are you supposed to just lay on your belly or something?
09:26During the recovery process?
09:27Oh, yeah.
09:28You can't do a lot of moving.
09:30You ever see that thing, they set up like a bike for people to steal?
09:35Oh, yeah.
09:36And the seat like goes down and like a pipe goes up.
09:40And I always think to myself, that is doing what it's done to this man.
09:44Right.
09:45To all of those people who try to steal that bike.
09:47Yeah.
09:48I feel like that's kind of, that's how you get sued by the criminal.
09:51Oh, that's, I'm sure if they could have tracked those people down, they had to be sued.